WEBVTT - Ask Uncut - Can I character check your ex? 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.800 Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:06.560 were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.600 past and present. 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:11.399 Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:24.479 recorded on de rug Wallamuta Land. Hey, let's go, let's ready, 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:26.440 let's go, let's go, bitches. 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:33.520 Who are you hi, guys, and. 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:36.920 Welcome back to another episode of Live onun Cut. I'm Laura, 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:39.680 I'm Brittany, and I. 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:40.400 Have a bone to pick with you. Laura Burne. 0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:44.040 Ah, yeah, you did just say let's go, betches, And I. 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:45.800 Was like, what are you even? Who is this? 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:47.600 I was just trying it out, you know, wan to 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:50.960 try something out? No, and it doesn't work, didn't you 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:52.560 just want to see how it rolls off your tongue 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:54.040 and if it lands, let. 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:55.840 You know what, let's go. Bes. 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:57.960 I was like, all right, let's go, betches. 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:01.720 And the girls like what and I was like, don't worry. No, 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:02.760 my bone to pick? 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:05.160 Oh yeah, I just pour your coffee. Well it's not 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:07.319 a bone. It's a funny. So the other day on 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:09.000 the podcast, you may or may not have heard that 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:11.000 we got some vibrators and we got a whole bunch 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:13.240 of stuff. We're having a laugh about it. The company 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:16.240 sent Ben because it was addressed to me. Brittany has 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.040 some fumbing Ben. It was what we called hot dog 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:20.720 and it was like this round thing that the penis 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:21.240 dock had. 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:21.880 To a cockhugger. 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:25.040 I can't believe we've talked about this on episodes straight now. 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:27.160 It's called the stroker, right, So the hot dog thing 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:29.959 that the penis dog's into. And Laura had a win, right, 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:33.240 She's like, oh, why didn't I get one? Maddie Jay 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:35.120 has a dick as well, like he needs to dock 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:36.880 his penis too, and I just was like, you would 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:37.319 never use it. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:38.840 We had a joke I would never use it. Then 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:40.160 we got some questions about what it was. 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:41.760 So we're going to take a photo of all of 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:43.520 them and put them on the stories because everyone's like, 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:44.600 what are all these vibrators? 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:45.600 So we're gonna put on the stories. 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:48.200 Then we have to use them no, one day later, 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:50.960 So we just took it home Laura and we're like, Laura, 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:52.680 can you bring it back in? It wasn't even twenty 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:54.640 four hours and she's like, oh, I can't find it. 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:57.320 I'm like, what, maybe I've used it, and you don't 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:58.920 want to have a photo of a used vibrant. 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.000 No, that is not true, because you would have said 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:02.960 I've used. There's no Secretsy. 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:06.680 You lost it within twelve hours, an entire vibrator set. 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:09.799 It was as one vibrators. It wasn't a set of vibrators. 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:12.480 It wasn't a fucking like cupboard full of vibrators that 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:15.480 they misplaced it. It was one single vibrator in the box, 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:17.480 in the box which is quite large. And I left 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:21.320 it in the studio upstairs, so I'm guessing somebody else 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:21.840 has taken it. 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:24.840 I don't think you're still there. You went home, how 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:25.239 would you know? 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:26.519 And you left it on the table. You left a 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:28.400 vibrator on the table. Well, this is why you can't 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:29.840 have nice things, lassive. 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:33.079 Pink vibrator just hanging around the office space. Let's get 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:34.600 in because I feel like we could do this. We 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:36.480 haven't seen each other this morning, so we could do 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.680 this for hours before we actually start the episode. There's 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:42.000 something I wanted to ask you which happened to me 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.440 two days ago, and I wanted. 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:46.079 To get your opinion on this. 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.320 I'm here four, all right, so and this is for 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:49.560 everyone playing at home as well? 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:51.080 What is the etiquette? 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:54.840 What responsibility do you have if somebody slides into your DMS, 0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:58.639 A girl slides into your DMS and asks about your 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:02.560 ex boyfriend like they want like a verification check. They 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:04.800 almost want you to go reference on him, like they're. 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:06.320 Doing a criminal record check. Yeah. 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:08.280 And the reason why they're doing a reference check on 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:11.000 him is because he is not a great Oh I 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:13.120 shouldn't say he's not a great guy. He is a 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:17.840 terrible person to date, like an truly abominal datable person. 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.120 Maybe a great person for other means, but if you 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.120 were going to choose him as your life partner, Oh god, 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:22.639 watch out. 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:24.280 Oh I just came up with a term in my 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:27.160 head right now. I'm pretty impressed. So it's like the FBI. 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:31.519 We'll call it the friend boyfriend Investigation. Sure, yes, that 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:33.760 was pretty good, admit it. Yeah it was off the car. 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:36.560 I like that, Okay, friend the FBI. Yeah, it's the 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:38.120 friend boyfriend Investigation FBI. 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.800 So what's the question should you use if someone writes 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:42.240 to you? 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.280 So this has obviously happened, So I'll give you the backstory, right, 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:47.360 I like it. 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:49.600 Happened to my friend's friend's dog. I'm asking for a 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:50.640 friend hypothetically. 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:53.600 Okay, So this has happened to me multiple times over 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:56.000 the last couple of years, and the reason for it is, 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:57.920 you know, spoken about it many times on here. 0:03:58.360 --> 0:03:59.160 I have one. 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:02.800 Particularly trouble X who there was lots of cheating from 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:06.000 him on me. It was a really it was super toxic. 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:08.840 The start of the relationship was full, like a lot 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:12.520 of love bombing, and then things just deteriorated. And so 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:15.360 this is now six seven years ago, like it's a 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:18.680 long time ago, right, a long long time ago. But 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:21.680 I still get women who slide into my DMS to 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:24.760 ask me about this person or stopped me in the 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:27.400 street to ask me about this person because either they've 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:30.320 had a bad experience or they want to kind of 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:33.159 you know, be pre warned. So recently I had someone 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:35.039 who I am an acquaintance with, you know, I would 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:37.120 say they're a friend. They contacted me, and I think 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.400 they're beast not a best you know, my outer periphery 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:43.120 of my acquaintance network. But I would say that that 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.359 kind of comes with a little bit more of a 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.440 responsibility to reply. I can't just ignore that message, you know. 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:52.560 So the message was this person's coming to my sphere? 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:55.320 What do you think of him? I know you dated him, Like, 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.840 you know, what do you reckon give the opinion? Like 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:02.679 ten years later? Seven years later? I mean, I really 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:04.800 believe people could change. I also think you know, if 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:07.000 you've done the work, if you've checked it, and you've realized, Hey, 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:09.240 there's a common denominator of my bad relationships, and it's 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:11.960 the fact I keep cheating on people. You could change 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.839 right seven years down the track. But I'm wondering what's 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:18.200 the responsibility at this point in time? 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:20.039 And I think that a lot of people will relate 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:21.839 to this. What do you do? 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:24.360 Do you give an honest review or do you say 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:25.600 I don't want to get involved? 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.320 What happens? Well, you're on he was a bad egg. 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:29.680 I don't think he's changed at all. 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:30.919 Well, I mean, we don't know. 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:33.960 Seven years I've got nothing to do with the guy. Okay, 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:36.719 So it's funny you should ask this. This happens to me. 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:39.960 Also, so those of you playing on long or have 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:41.960 been here from the beginning, you'll know that I dated 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:43.040 somebody with a double life. 0:05:43.080 --> 0:05:44.840 You know, he was married to people at the same time. 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:47.720 This is literally why the podcast started. It was our 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:50.599 two relationships. Britta and I became friends. We started talking 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:53.120 about and we were like, oh my god, let's start 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:55.880 a podcast and talk about the trauma that we've experienced 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.360 and tell everyone if you haven't. 0:05:57.800 --> 0:05:59.720 We really got back, didn't We go back to the 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:00.560 third episode? 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:01.560 We ever? But did? 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:03.640 This is four years ago, and don't judge us on 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:06.120 the audio quality. It was our first time podcasting. But anyway, 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:08.359 the story is there. It's called so I dated a sociopath? 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:12.640 Moving forward. This happened to me a lot. So it 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:14.960 happened to me before the podcast, right just with some 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:17.280 people we knew he was a bad egg. There was 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:20.320 a mutual friend that slid into the DMS and said, 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:23.280 your ex is now dating somebody. 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:23.599 I know. 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:25.719 I don't know you the details, but I know it 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.120 was pretty bad. What do I do? What can you do? 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:30.120 Can you speak to her? And I was like, yeah, 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:32.200 I can speak to one hundred percent. So I got 0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:34.520 on the phone with this random chick and I did 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:37.560 bad mouth him, but I was like, look, it's not good. 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:43.760 He's fucked. Let's not shure gote this. He's fucked. He's 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:46.520 as cooked as a barbecue chicken. From Coles. I just said, 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:48.440 I said he's no good. Then it happened to. 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.640 One more time, maybe six eight months later, and I 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:52.799 did it again, but I just said, all I'm gonna 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:54.599 say is it eased off. I said, all I'm gonna 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:56.160 say is I wouldn't let my friend date him. I 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:57.960 wouldn't let my sister datium, I wouldn't anyone. 0:06:57.720 --> 0:06:58.480 Else I know I date him. 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:00.919 I knew when I Hey, I have spoken to you 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:02.760 about this before, and you said I wouldn't let my 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:03.240 dog date. 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:04.839 That's that's pretty offensive. 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:06.599 I said I wouldn't let my dog dating, but I 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:09.040 never went into details. But I think that's a powerful 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:12.240 enough statement. Over the last that was it's got to 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:15.360 be ten years ago. Now over the I still get 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:18.280 people message, which is crazy that obviously know the connection 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:22.280 and ask and now I just don't respond because so 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:24.760 much time, so much time. And at the end of 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:27.760 the day, do I think he's changed, No, probably not, 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:29.560 But I don't know that. I don't know that he 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:31.280 hasn't gone and done the work, and he's not an 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:33.600 amazing person right now. And I just feel like, after 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:36.840 this long, it is not my responsibility. I am not 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:40.840 the ex boyfriend vigilante that's out there saving. 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:42.880 People from something that could possibly happen. 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.320 And I think at the beginning, when it's fresh, if 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:48.480 something really traumatic has happened, then you can pass on 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:50.480 that information. You don't have to go into detail. But 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:52.360 I think what I said is good. I think you 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:54.400 can be like, would I want my friend to date 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.120 him or my daughter to date this person? 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:58.679 No? And I think that's powerful enough in itself. 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:01.680 But after five seven years, like seven years now, I 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:03.800 don't think you need to be doing that seven years. 0:08:03.960 --> 0:08:05.800 I think the reason why this one really struck me 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:08.080 was because it's somebody who I'm friends with, and so 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:10.200 therefore I feel like it's not one that I can 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:14.520 just skewed around, you know, like and also there is 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:16.880 this moment where you're like, am I doing this because 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:18.560 I want to protect someone? 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:20.200 Or am I doing it because. 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.960 There's an element of getting back at them? You know? 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:22.320 Like not? 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.240 And it's not because I harbor any animosity, but it's like, 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:28.480 I would never want somebody to go through what I 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:30.920 went through in that relationship. So therefore I wonder, like, 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:33.760 is the tossing up between what to do here? Is 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.319 it a byproduct of not wanting someone to go through 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:38.440 what I went through, or is it a part of 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:39.880 like a well, no, you did that to me, so 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:42.280 you know I should be able to tell someone. And 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:44.640 I don't know where that lies. I don't know what's 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.160 the bigger motivator here. Well, is it also I love 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:48.920 that we're doing our own ask on card like you've. 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:52.040 Asked me just literally literally? Is it also? 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:56.560 Have they written to you saying I feel like something's 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.960 off and they're wanting confirmation or are they saying, hey, 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.000 I know there's a connection. They tell me about him, 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:05.000 spill the goss, because if they're saying something doesn't feel right, 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:08.120 can you tell me what your experience was. I would say, 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:10.400 go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right, don't 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:11.439 be in the relationship. 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:13.000 And I think this was my big lesson I learned 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:15.280 from this exchange of the last couple of days is 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:20.040 if you ever feel like you need to go and 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.720 get a character check for some guy that you're dating, 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:24.960 if you have the urge to reach out to their 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:28.360 ex girlfriend from however long ago, or you know, get 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:28.959 a friend to do it. 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:29.600 Whatever it is. 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:32.520 If you feel like you need to character check someone, 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:35.319 it's because you should not be dating them, because if 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:38.320 you're dating a great guy and all indications are green 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:41.600 flags and they're awesome and everything's easy, you wouldn't even 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:45.439 have the motivation or the want or any of those feelings. 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.280 You wouldn't have that thing inside you that's your intuition 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:50.160 that tells you something's fucking off here. 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:52.760 I love a character check. I get character checks all 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:53.800 the time everyone I've dated. 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:56.400 If yeah, no, but you would just do it as 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:58.680 in like you're not reaching out because you're like, hey, 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:00.960 I'm reaching out because I think something's off. 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:02.560 My thing is what I'm saying is oh no, I. 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:05.600 Just get a character reference, like if there's a connection totally. 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:08.480 Like when I started dating the guy before ben So, 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:10.520 I reached out to somebody like a mutual friend that 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.520 knew him and they weren't even that close to me, 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:14.040 but I knew them enough to be like, hey, you 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:17.160 just started seeing this guy, what's he like? 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:18.600 Thinking that she was just going. 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:20.640 To write back and be like he's great, go for 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.480 it so hot, And she wrote back and was like, 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.880 oh player funck, we are Joe back, And I was like, oh, 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:26.600 what was like? 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:28.840 That was not what I was expecting. 0:10:28.640 --> 0:10:31.120 And it turned out to be true. Even with Ben 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:35.320 now current boyfriend Ben, I reached out to someone in 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:36.120 the football world. 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:38.959 What just a random I know him very well. Oh, 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:40.400 this is an next boyfriend of yours as well. 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:44.480 Okay with Jay, Oh, okay, my sister's partner. 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:46.640 I thought he has been far out that escalated. My 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:47.240 sister's husband. 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:49.760 Jay works in the football world. He's been in the 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:51.240 football world for. 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:52.800 His whole life. He knows everything about it. 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:55.920 So I wrote to him and I was like, YO, 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:58.199 hooked up with this guy. 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:00.360 What's he like? Is he a bad air than? Is 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:01.640 he good? Thinking that you know? 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:04.000 And Jay came back with all his due diligence and 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:06.000 he was like, there are no bad articles about him. 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.120 Apparently he's never strayed, he's never done this, he's never 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:10.040 done that. He seems really great. There's a great player. 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.680 Gave me a full football character reference and he's like, 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:14.280 I approve and I was like, great, and that's how 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:15.040 I continued on. 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:17.839 Okay, I don't think I've ever done a character check, 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:18.800 and maybe I should have. 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:20.440 Maybe that's all we're getting to. 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:24.760 Probably, so the million dollar question, did you tell them 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:25.400 the truth? 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.880 I feel like I gave a very top line version because, 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:31.560 like I said, you know, seven years is so long. 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.440 And the other part of this is, even if he 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:36.120 hasn't changed, even if he's exactly the same person, nothing 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:36.560 to do with you. 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.640 I don't want to get into the drama. You got 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:42.760 two kids, you're married with two kids. It's another lifetime. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:46.160 Whoever wants that person, and like he he's done enough 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.120 damage to you, you don't need to be worrying about 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.520 it anymore. That's how I think. I'm like, you have 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:53.520 so much of my energy. Yeah, and time that long 0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:55.400 ago is if I'm going to give you another speckle 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:57.319 of my brain, I don't have that many speckles. 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.679 Left, thank you. Exactly. All my speckles are falling out 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:01.520 of a three year old and two year old. 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:04.920 All right, Well, before we get into answering your questions, Brittany, 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:06.400 what is it that you're vibing this week? 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.760 I'm vibing today something simple. Most of you have probably 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.560 tried it. But I go through these food obsessions, right Like, 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:14.360 I just get hooked on something and that's all I 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:15.680 consume for a couple of weeks. 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:17.600 Yeah, it was frozen yogurt for a while. Though usually 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:18.800 it's frozen coconut with. 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.360 Well, I've been stuck. Yeah, it was. That was two 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:23.199 That was only two weeks. That was intense. That was 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:25.319 an intense two weeks. I'm glad you're over that. I 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:27.240 ate it every day and I was like, wew, it's 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:27.720 too much. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.200 It was chicken tenders for a while, and I had 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.640 a chicken Keisha's nodding in the corner. I got Keisha 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:35.240 onto the chicken Tender's chicken tender wrap. But now it 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:40.200 is the sweet and salty popcorn. I know, it's just 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.559 so good. It's so moorish in my head. 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.200 It's healthy, it's not, but it's also like such a 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:48.320 gold NOLDI I feel like everyone's been sweet and salty face. 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:51.600 Yeah, but it's what I'm vibing it hard at the moment. 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.400 Okay, So I came across the TikTok this week, and 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:57.960 I feel like this is going to truly revolutionize some 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:01.880 people's lives. You know, Frank, green water bottles just don't 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:04.160 fit in any cup holder in any car, Like. 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:05.840 They're all too fat. They're so fat. 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:08.439 They're so annoying because the base of them is like 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:09.760 really thick. 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:11.360 The one lead ones, like the big ones that people 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:12.000 get around with. 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:14.480 So if you have a support water bottle that you love, 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:18.120 like Kisha, she takes it everywhere, everywhere, everywhere like and 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:19.240 carries it around like it's a baby. 0:13:19.240 --> 0:13:20.319 It's got a little sippy straw. 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:23.720 Okay, Well, if you have a one leader one and 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:25.480 you need it with you at all times, it doesn't 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:27.360 fit into the cup holder, very annoying. 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:28.640 There is this new hack. 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:31.280 You can go to buttings and you can get yourself 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:33.640 a piece of pipe. It has like a thinner bit 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:35.400 at the bottom and then a wider bit on top, 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:38.160 and you can put the pipe into your cup holder 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:41.640 and then it turns into a cupholder extension and it 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.439 is fucking mind blowing. I just call that a funnel, 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.280 don't they? Well, no, it's not a funnel because it's 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:48.480 not tubular. It's not like a triangle shape. 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:51.360 It's sit the drink bottle on the seat. Yeah, but 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:52.960 annoying rolls around. What if it goes on the floor. 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:54.640 What if you stop really harder around about and then 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.760 it falls forward onto the floor. But I fucking dig 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.000 around for a frank green drink bottle. You're not very 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:01.000 supported with your emotion if it's on the floor, do you. 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:02.640 Have to dig around? Have you seen the size that 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:06.120 have me? Jason Momola and a drink bottle flapping around 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:07.240 your car? 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:09.560 Well, anyway, I thought it was a handy little trick 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.080 and I'm all about it. This week, apparently Frank Green 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.280 are going to bring out some that they're going to 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:16.360 make themselves. I'm sure it'll be nine nine nine. I'm 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.080 sure to be overpriced. You just go to Buddies get 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.040 a four dollars fifty years. This is my hot take. 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:21.800 I hanger that is a good vibe. All right, let's 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:26.480 get into the questions. Question number one. I live with 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:28.400 my best friend and we had been living together for 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:30.920 four and a half years. I met my now fiance, 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:33.800 who is also female because we're in a same sex relationship, 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:37.080 at the same time as the marriage equality survey, which 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:40.560 was a really hard time for the LGBTQI folk. My 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.080 best you had not long moved out, she said to 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.040 me at the time. I'm worried I'm going to lose 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:48.080 you as a friend if I vote no to same 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:52.360 sex marriages. And turns out she voted no. Our friendship 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:54.880 has pretty much fizzled since then. But I do miss her. 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:57.560 I miss our friendship, and we have caught up sporadically 0:14:57.600 --> 0:14:59.720 over the past few years, and she has reached out 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:03.720 to CA recently, but I have made excuses because I 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.400 am getting married in a couple of months, and I 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.800 am so torn about whether or not to invite her. 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:11.520 She was a huge part of my adult life for 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:13.560 such a long time, and it feels weird not to 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:16.240 have her there. But how do I invite someone who 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.240 may still not support my marriage. I don't know what 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.680 her views are or if they've changed, and I'm scared 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.240 to know the answer. My family, however, think I should 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:26.800 invite her any ideas. 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:30.200 I feel like I'm almost going to go against her 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:34.200 family's advice. Sorry, maybe harsh, but I would not be 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:36.920 inviting a friend that didn't support my marriage. At the 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:40.080 end of the day, she voted no to allowing you 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:44.120 the basic human right of marrying somebody you love. I 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:45.880 don't think I would have a space for you at 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:50.320 my wedding, And if she so strongly thought that you 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.280 shouldn't get married, I doubt she would want to go 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:54.240 to your wedding. I don't understand why the family would 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.320 want that. Can her views have changed. I hope they have. 0:15:57.840 --> 0:15:59.760 Maybe you should have that conversation. If she was your 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:01.560 best friend for so long, who knows what she was 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:03.960