WEBVTT - Ask Uncut - Laura's unhinged and Britt's a unicorn psychopath 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.800 Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:06.560 were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:07.600 past and present. 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:11.399 Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:13.360 recorded on d rug Wallamuta Land. 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:25.960 Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:30.480 I'm Brittany and I am still Laura. Nothing has changed. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:34.479 I genuinely am concerned Laura our drugs this morning? 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:38.479 Everyone's feel right. Laura's unhinged again. You have what is 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:42.240 it again again? That time of the month. 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:45.159 Everyone, Something's not right Kisha and I can't work it out. 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:48.720 She's either stayed awake all night like you've been partying. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:50.040 We all went out to dinner last night at a 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:52.239 lovely night, a couple of cocktails deep. But something's not 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:53.600 right with you today and I can't look it. You 0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:57.400 are white. You just threw your phone on the cement floor, 0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:58.760 like across the room. 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:04.040 It's carpeted. Its probably underneath, but it's carpet on cement. 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:06.080 You just heard that. I'm just testing, do you know why? 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:09.759 Because influencers pissed me off. I got pissed off by 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:12.360 an influencer and I saw and that I had to 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:13.800 react to my phone viscerally. 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:16.200 How do you feel saying that statement, though, when you 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:17.399 are an influencer and I. 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:22.959 Noticed myself off sometimes too, Oh Claw, I am concerned 0:01:23.000 --> 0:01:24.680 for your welfare right now. 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.520 I actually have never in my four and a half years, 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:29.120 I've never seen like this. 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:31.200 It looks like you've done been doing pinions all night 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:32.679 or something, and I've never done a PingER. 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:35.119 I don't actually know what that is, but I feel like, never, 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:38.760 never in my entire life have I tried a PingER? 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:42.520 No, I hand on heart. I think we had very 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:46.680 different twenties, Laura. No, to be fair, I was pretty good, 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.960 pretty good, not as good as you good. I look 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.240 at my twenties and I'm like, if my daughters were 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:55.080 as good as I was in my twenties. I mean, 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:57.360 I hope that they make better relationship choices, but if 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:59.120 they're as well behaved as I was in my twenties, 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:00.880 then I'd be happy. I'd be like, job well done. 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:04.360 Here's a question, how old do you have to wait 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:06.280 for your daughters to be Laula and Marley until you 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:07.680 let them listen to this podcast? 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:11.040 Never? They will never listen to it because they're going 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:13.520 to Marley thinks I dance for a job. She got 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:15.440 no idea what I do. Like, if I ask Marley, 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.040 I mean she's only four, she doesn't know a lot. 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:19.119 If I asked her, what does mommy do for a job, 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.880 she says, go to work? But have you ever asked 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:23.639 her what work is? Can you ask her? Yeah? She 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:27.959 thinks I go dancing. Now she's a stripper. She's like, 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:30.520 what she thinks? Mommy is a professional dancer. That's what 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.680 I do, she tells everyone at schooler. I think she 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.320 thinks I talk, which I do, but I don't think 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:39.000 she knows what about Yeah, that's interesting. I'm sure she 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:40.560 figure it out. So you actually don't want it to 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.200 ever know? Nah, I think she should listen to it. 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:45.400 I can't wait for her to listen to the line, Okay, madam, 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:49.040 blow job. Last night she's like, mom, fucking. 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:51.600 Gross, Like, I don't need to listen to all the ones. 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:53.640 How You're like, well, Matt and I are going for it. 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:56.000 And man, Marley's face came and stood right next to us. 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:57.680 Oh, there are so many stories she's going to hear 0:02:57.680 --> 0:03:00.440 about herself. No, that's the problem, though, is I mean, 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:02.440 it's one thing to share your kids on social media, 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:03.880 but then it's the other thing to share all the 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.799 stories about their life as they're growing up. Because I mean, 0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:08.840 I hope that Mary will never listen to this. That's 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:11.440 why I'm very considered about what parts of the kids' 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.919 lives that we do share. I mean, I do think 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:16.560 Mally walking in on us in the middle of going 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:19.560 down to Heyytown is really my story to tell. It's 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:21.640 more me than hers. She's never going to remember that 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:27.080 she's four. She traumatized you, not the other. I've been 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:29.160 ruined from this, and she's going to get over it 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:30.880 just fine, because I feel like when you're four, you 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:32.840 don't actually commit any of that shit to memory. If 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:36.120 it happens when she's eight, different story, that's a psychology 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:37.320 therapy session right there. Yeah. 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:39.880 I don't know if that's gospel. I don't know if 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:41.080 people should take that, but for. 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.440 Doesn't do it. What's your earliest memory? I couldn't tell you. 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:47.040 I've tried to think about this, but I have memories. 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.480 When I see a photo of being young, I have 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:51.720 memories around it. But if you said, right now, what's 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:53.880 the earliest, I had no idea. 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:55.880 Do you know what? I challenged that though. When I 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:59.720 say challenge my memory, go for it. No. What I 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:01.760 mean is is when you say you see a photo 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:04.560 and then you have memories around it. I often think that, 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:06.960 especially for photos for when you're really young, I think 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:09.000 we build memories around it. I don't actually think we 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.080 remember it specifically for what it was. I think I've 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.000 grown up seeing well, I just think about this, this 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:16.680 one photo of me as a little kid, I must 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:18.599 have been three years old, and me and my sister 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:21.839 wearing matching pajamas on the front doorstep of our house, 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:25.159 like in Newcastle, the standard photo. Yeah, my mom's just 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:27.120 come home. But I know the story the reason why 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:28.920 we're wearing those pajamas because my mum had come home 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:31.240 from Hong Kong. She gave them to us as a present. 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:33.760 I don't remember any of that shit, like really, I 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:35.440 don't think I do. But I think I've created the 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:37.599 memory in my head. So sometimes I'm like, I don't 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:39.320 know if I can trust the stuff I remember from 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.160 my childhood. No, I think that's right. I think it's 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:42.040 a bit of A and a bit of B. 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.080 There's stuff that I'll definitely look at a photo and 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:46.680 have nothing, feel nothing. I'll have a photo and I'll 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:48.440 know a story because my parents have told me. And 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:50.560 then I'll have a photo where I can picture parts 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:52.960 of that day, their photos of been really young picnicking. 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.000 And then all of a sudden, I remember a ball. 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.400 My ball got stuck. Yeah, it's random bits that you 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.800 remember when it stuck out in the rapids and it 0:04:59.880 --> 0:05:01.560 was going away. It was a pink Barbie. I bet 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:02.960 you it wasn't a rappid. I bet you it was 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:05.080 a creak and you were just three. No, it was. 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:06.960 It was just a creek, but it was a it 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:08.599 was a tide. The tide was taken away. 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:10.720 It was a pink Barbie ball and my dad I 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:13.080 was beside myself and I made my dad swim out. 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:14.400 In this to get it. 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:18.040 He on oysters, not it was a disaster, but to 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:19.560 get my pink ball that was three dollars. 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:21.160 And I remember he had all these cuts on e speat, 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:22.320 but he did it for me. Well, do you know what? 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:25.120 This validates my other theories that you usually remember traumatic 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:27.560 stuff way more than the good stuff. And I mean, 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:29.680 if we're going to use you as an example, you 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:31.960 lost your ball, so but I don't know, and your. 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:33.640 Dad hurt his foot, I don't know if that's my 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:35.960 first memory. I would love to actually sit on this. 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.080 I mean, we've just sprung. We didn't plan this chat, 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:40.000 so I'd love to sit and try and really think 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.359 about my first memory and get back to you. 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:43.279 But it's also interesting. 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:44.839 Maybe we can get someone on to talk about this 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:46.760 kind of stuff, because I'm really interested in this. 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:49.880 What part of it everything? Memory? 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:52.760 Do we create the memories? Do we remember traumatic things? 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:55.440 How can you distinguish if it's a created memory or 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:56.279 if it's a real memory. 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:59.719 I think it's really fascinating. Also, the validity of repressed 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:02.440 memory I think is very interesting cause obviously, like a 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:05.640 lot of people unpack repressed memories in terms of trauma, 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:08.120 but it's like for me, I find it very interesting 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:10.320 that that can be unlocked, that that's still sitting there somewhere, 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:13.200 but your brain has this defensive mechanism where it can go. 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:15.279 We don't want to think about that. That's not healthy 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:17.680 for our psyche. That's not We're not going to move 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:19.560 past it if we keep on going back to these 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:21.240 repressed memories. So let's just lock it away in a 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:23.120 box and put in the cupboard one hundred percent put 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:25.560 it in the back corner of your little brain. Yeah okay, well, 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:27.120 I mean this kind of links me into something I 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:28.719 wanted to talk to you about because I know that 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:33.400 you're a psychopath, brit and now I have proof, unequivable 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:36.440 proof of that. Wow, okay, find the box under my 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:38.680 bed or yeah, yeah, yeah, I found the list. I 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.279 found your burn book, your hit list. No, you have 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:44.680 always been very vocal on this podcast, in the entire 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:47.200 time of our friendship. You've been very vocal about how 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:50.640 you love true crime, how you're sick for true crime. 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:53.760 I will not argue that how you could sit there, 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.520 eat an ice cream and watch Jeffrey Dharma every night 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:58.800 of the week because you love it so much that 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:00.719 it you know, it's something that fills you with joy. 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:03.279 I enjoy listening watching true crime out that's true. Yeah, 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:04.880 but I don't think that makes me a psychopath. 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:06.800 There's been a psychologist that's come out. Her name is 0:07:06.839 --> 0:07:09.600 doctor Thelma Bryant. She's a psychologist, she's an author, and 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:11.920 she was on the Mel Robins podcast recently and she 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:15.960 basically was like, if you find it relaxing to listen 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:18.960 to or watch true crime to watch other people go 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:21.560 through really traumatic experiences. There's probably a good chance that 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.280 you'll be fucked up in the head. Okay, Thelma, who 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:27.600 are you to say that? Filma? Alma? What degree did 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:29.880 you know? She's got a degree? Okay? Fair, Okay. 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:34.000 Well the problem with that sentence, Laura is I don't 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.600 relax watching it, Like I don't sit there with my 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.040 ice cream and masturbate and like get off to it. 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.280 That's not why I watch. You listen to true you're 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.800 masturbating to true crime. You probably should do a little 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.080 bit of self work. People do. 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.440 Remember there was a girl that called up the radio 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.240 and so she masturbated to Jeffrey Dharma. 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:51.880 That's really not hecay. So I don't know if you think, 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:56.040 do you picture me doing that? I never picture you masturbating. 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:58.160 Want you to know that. 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:01.000 Well, now I'm offended double Now you think I'm a 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:02.840 psychopath and you don't think about menisphere. 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:05.000 I can't win with you, Laura. 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:09.320 I enjoy True crime for different reasons. I'm just really 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:11.840 interested in and I think that's really normal. But you 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:14.160 have to remember that I don't think this makes me 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:18.000 a sicko. But my job as an emergency radiographer, as 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:22.640 a theater radiographer for twelve thirteen years, my favorite parts 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.400 and this sounds bad, but the bloodier and the more 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:27.560 gory it was, the more I enjoyed it. And that's 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:30.600 not enjoying someone that's enjoying a situation high end trauma. 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:32.959 What happened to the person trying to help the person? 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.720 You are not helping your cause right now. But I 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.240 know I'm actually saying, yeah, I'm just trying to make 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:41.160 you understand my interest in the human body, my interest 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.800 in human psyche. I'm thoroughly interested in it and the 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:48.040 why behind it and the whole idea. It's just maybe 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.840 that has come from, you know, thirteen years of seeing 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:52.560 some pretty crazy stuff, because I saw. 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.520 Some pretty crazy stuff in my time. Well, I do 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.240 think overall, especially in terms of entertainment, we have become 0:08:57.320 --> 0:09:02.880 quite desensitized. Like documentaries are people's disappearances about people's murders. 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:05.600 And we've talked about Jeffrey Dalmer series before about how 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:10.080 there's this real blur between entertainment and true story and 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:13.319 where that sits in terms of an ethical perspective. But 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:15.360 what I thought was really interesting about this is that 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:18.360 this psychologist, doctor thelmab Bryant, She's come out and she said, like, 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:22.320 if you're someone who does find true crime, like if 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:24.959 you enjoy it so much that that's your preferred medium 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:27.240 to watch and you don't go to bed feeling anxious 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.200 or scared after watching it. If you can kind of 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:31.440 listen to a true crime podcast and then go straight 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:34.040 to bed and feel unaffected by it, you should be 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:37.080 asking yourself, why is trauma relaxing to you? Like? Why 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:41.000 is trauma something that calms you rather than makes you 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:42.400 feel higher levels of anxiety? 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.240 Okay, here's a thought on that I and I'll be 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:47.880 trying to figure this out myself. I enjoy watching true 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:49.880 crime in terms of I don't enjoy it like we 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:51.160 just said, you know, I don't get off on it. 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:53.400 I don't froth it and laugh at it. I honestly 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:56.000 half the time I struggle to watch it, but I 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.120 still need to see it out. I'll be closing my 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:00.640 eyes and looking through my fingers, look in a way, 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:01.760 having to pause it. 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:04.680 I fast forward parts, but I don't turn it off. 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:06.640 Oh so, I mean you have a soul. I have 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:07.240 a soult. 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:11.240 But the part that you just mentioned is I can 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:14.319 very easily, I live alone, I can very easily watch 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:15.160 that and listen to. 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:16.679 That and go to bed and not worry about it. 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:18.960 So I don't know if that makes me half psychopath, 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:21.240 like half unicorn kind of thing, like half psychopath. 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:24.840 Fifty percent unicon fiftent psychopath. Yeah, okay, and that's the verdict. Well, 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:26.600 I feel the opposite. I mean, I watch it. I 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.400 do enjoy it when I say I enjoy watching it, 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:30.840 like I find it really interesting and fascinating, but it 0:10:30.880 --> 0:10:34.400 affects me so deeply that I cannot sleep. I'm okay 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:36.160 if Matt's at home with me, but if I'm then 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:39.400 by myself, especially if I'm by myself like with the girls, 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:41.160 I'll end up having the girls in bed with me, 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:42.920 Like I'll go and get Marley and Lawla. They want 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:44.400 to sleep in their own beds, and I'm like, come 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:46.320 and sleep with mummy, and I put them both in 0:10:46.320 --> 0:10:47.920 the bed with me because they think they're going to 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.520 protect me. I used to when I was a teenager, 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.120 and this makes me sound crazy. I used to sleep 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:54.920 with a knife under my pillow because I used to 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:58.480 be so frightened about someone breaking into the house or 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.160 something happening during the night and not having control over it. 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.760 But I think for me that comes from my own 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:08.319 Like this, psychologists was saying that if you enjoy it, 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:11.120 it could be because you're comfortable in trauma, because you've 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.120 experienced trauma yourself, because you're familiar with it and it's 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:17.240 a space that you can relate to. I almost feel 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.160 the opposite. I think I did have some parts of 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:21.440 my childhood that were a bit traumatic, and you guys, 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:23.280 if you've read the book, you know about it. But 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.080 I think for me it put me on high alert. 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.400 I was like always like something bad's going to happen, 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:29.640 and so I Keisha was looking at like a crazy person. 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:30.880 When I said I used to sleep with a knife 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:31.480 under my pillow. 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:32.599 No, I slept with a knife on it. I was 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:34.320 gonna say, I slept with a knife under but protection. 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:37.280 How weird is that? I wonder if anyone else does this. No. 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.320 I only started it after I had someone break into 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.160 my house and I lived in a house. 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:43.199 This is as an adult. 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.600 I lived in a house that had every single room 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:47.920 had an exit to outside. Every room had a door 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:48.880 that went to a balcony. 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:50.600 Or something like that. So there was in my head, 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:52.959 there was so paranoia. Well, there were so many entry points. 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:55.720 It's not like you just locked one door right, every laundry, 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:58.920 multiple rooms, bathrooms, lounge room, front door, there were so 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:02.199 many doors and I to break in. They didn't take anything, 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:03.760 but I reckon I must have walked in while they 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:05.240 were there, and I heard them in the room and 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:08.319 I heard them leave, and from I call it police go. 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.560 And from that point I put a knife under my 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:13.320 bed and this is what I do now. 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.480 Yeah, but I okay, Well, I mean the fact you 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:16.960 still do it is probably something that you should go 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.120 and get some therapy about. But like, I understand why 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:21.640 you would do it if you've experienced a home break in. 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:23.720 But I do think that there are people out there, 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.040 and I'm sure I'm not alone. I get up and 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:28.160 I go and check the oven multiple times before I 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:29.640 can go to sleep. I get up and I check 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:32.440 all the windows. I check the door multiple times, Like 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.640 I still, even when matters at home and in bed 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:36.520 with me, we could be in bed, it could be 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.200 midnight and I'll wake up and I'll go I can't 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:40.920 sleep until I go check the doors again and I'll 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:42.680 get back up and check the doors. Is that something 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.319 that's increased post kids? Do you think or you always 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:47.520 like that? No? I think I've always been like it. 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:49.040 I think I'm less like it when I'm in a 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:51.960 relationship because I feel safe for having someone there who could, 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.840 you know, quote unquote protect me. But it's definitely not 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.680 a fear that has gone away. I still have that, 0:12:57.800 --> 0:13:00.960 and it's it's not by any means debility, but I 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:04.160 need to go and chronically check things. I often, for example, 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:05.880 need to go home and check that I've turned my 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:08.839 hair straightener off. Even sometimes on days when I haven't 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.080 even used it, I think I've left it on. I 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:12.720 think did I take it out and plug it in 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.200 and then I intended to use it. I don't trust 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:18.439 my own memory on things that I've done. That's interesting. 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:25.240 I'd love to unpack that if I had some qualifications. Well, anyway, 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.880 speaking for people who don't have qualifications, it is probably 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:29.840 time to get into answering your questions. I mean, which 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:31.400 you all came here for. Before we do that, we've 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.160 got vibe and unsubscribe, and I have I've got an 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.679 ansubscribed today. Everyone. It's the thing I got angry about that. 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:37.840 I threw my phone across the room. 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:40.839 About okay, well, let's just take one big breath together. First, 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:44.960 you go vibe first, let's go happy breathe in. Okay, 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:46.040 my vibe, I'm gonna start. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:50.920 My vibe is Arnold Schwartzschenegger. That's my vibe. 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:54.440 He has a new doco on Netflix and Ben wanted 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.760 to watch it. I was, you know, like background noise 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:58.200 for me. It's not like I saw it and I 0:13:58.200 --> 0:13:59.520 was jumping out of my skin to watch it. But 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:01.440 Ben wanted to watch it, so I sat down and 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:02.600 watched it with him so we can have. 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:04.559 Some bonding time. I was hooked. 0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:07.600 It is brilliant. He is such an incredible person. And 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:09.120 I say this before you come at me and say 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:10.120 he cheated on his wife. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.160 I'm not talking about that. We know he cheated. 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:14.480 He actually talks about that and I found that part 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:18.240 interesting too. But as a human from his childhood to 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:21.240 he was governor, he's seventy five years old. Now, he's 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:24.440 a fascinating human and he's so. 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:28.000 Around his exploitation of like a dragonhandsman's of tape totally. 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:30.280 He's taking steroids and stuff during his time of being, like, 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:34.480 you know, an incredibly successful weightlifting champion. Well that's why I. 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:36.880 Guess I loved it, because you watch these things and 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:38.560 you don't think these people are going to talk about 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.160 the controversies in their career, all the low points, but 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:44.600 he does, and he addresses it, and it's so simply 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:48.240 addressed and so factual. And love him or hate him, 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:52.920 it doesn't matter. But his story is so inspiring and intriguing, 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:55.040 and he's a different person to the person I always 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.920 thought he was, and I found it very motivating. 0:14:58.040 --> 0:14:59.120 I don't think you could watch it. 0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:01.160 I think anyone would watch and you will walk away 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:04.960 motivated to go and do something different or something more, 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:07.840 or do something that the idea that you've had for ages, 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:08.800 you will go and start it. 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:11.480 I found it very inspirational in that sense. He had 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:13.760 a very complicated childhood with his dad. 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.640 Prom memory his dad, Yeah, his dad, Because you've watched 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:17.720 other docos on his page. 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.200 So the reason why I know about a bit of 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:20.800 background on him is because when I was in my 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.840 twenties and my longtime relationship, my boyfriend at the time 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.160 was obsessed with him, and there was a documentary that 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:27.960 came out about him then, So that was like fifteen 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:31.600 years ago, and there was always things about Arnold Schwarzenegger 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.720 that was on only because my ex was like truly obsessed, 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:37.760 no interesting guy. He does have a really complicated childhood. 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.120 Complicated in the sense of he. 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.240 Was loved and he had a family home and he 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.520 had the food on the table. But you get where 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:47.160 you understand where the drive comes from in the competition. 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.680 He had a brother, an older brother, and his dad 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:51.440 would go away to war, he was in the army, 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:53.800 and he would come back and he said things like 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:55.720 they used to have to get up as kids and 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.320 earn their breakfast. They'd start doing sit ups and push 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:00.640 ups and that was the dad was like, you know 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:03.600 the n Yeah, nothing comes for free. And so these 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.440 were kids doing this kind of stuff and he would 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.320 make them do competitions against each other, running competitions, trying 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.120 to beat each other all the time, and it took 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:11.920 the fun out of it because it always became this 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:13.200 gotta be better than the. 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:15.360 Brother kind of thing. And I was hooked. And we've 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:16.080 said this a lot. 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.120 In this day and age, not many things keep you 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:19.920 on the edge of your seat anymore. We get so 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:21.680 distracted you want to look down at your phone, or 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:23.920 you watch something in the background while you're making dinner. 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:25.800 There's not many things that you sit there and you're 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:29.200 engaged the whole time. But I was engaged the entire time, 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:31.280 and I felt like I walked away and I was like, 0:16:31.680 --> 0:16:33.200