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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers.

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Speaker 2: Now good. This is doctor Justin Coulson. Let's get into

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Speaker 2: today's Thursday edition of the Holiday Happy Families Podcast. Professor

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Speaker 2: Ethan Cross is a researcher that I admire and respect enormously.

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Speaker 2: He has an incredible pedigree, and he's written a book

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Speaker 2: called Chatter, The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters

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Speaker 2: and How to Harness It. We talked about the top

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Speaker 2: three tips he has to help our children deal with

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Speaker 2: self control.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think one is attention. So teaching them how

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Speaker 1: to divert their attention away from whatever's tempting them and

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Speaker 1: give themselves something to focus on is even more powerful.

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Speaker 1: So really get them to focus in on something that's

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Speaker 1: equally engaging, but not the thing that's tempting them. So

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Speaker 1: if you don't want them to watch TV, give them

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Speaker 1: a really fun buzzle to work on, or something like that,

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Speaker 1: or problem to work on. Another thing is changing the

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Speaker 1: way think about something. So if they're looking at the

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Speaker 1: candy and they really want to eat it, ask them

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Speaker 1: to imagine, well, you know, imagine that. I guess kids

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Speaker 1: aren't tempted by bread? Is what is a candy basically

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Speaker 1: mostly right, I mean, imagine that someone stepped on it,

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Speaker 1: you know, or those kinds of transformations can be powerful, right,

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Speaker 1: So don't think about it as a marshmallow. Think about

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Speaker 1: it as a puffy cloud. Right, So play with it

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Speaker 1: in your head. And importantly when you play with it,

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Speaker 1: don't think about the things that are most Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to think about how it's going to taste.

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Speaker 1: If you've talked to your child about the negative health

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Speaker 1: implications of eating too much candy, or negative health implications

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Speaker 1: for a child like tummy aches, right, not feeling good after,

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Speaker 1: have them think about that, so, you know, think about

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Speaker 1: the fact that too many marshmallows can make you not

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Speaker 1: so healthy, and that's not a good thing. You have

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Speaker 1: to go to the doctor, and so forth and so on.

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Speaker 1: A third strategy you can use to give you the

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Speaker 1: last one is you can try something called what we've

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Speaker 1: called the Batman effect. So have a child pretend find

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Speaker 1: their favorite superhero. And as so, superheroes are usually generally

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Speaker 1: really good at exercising restraint, right, and being able to

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Speaker 1: do good things in the world, and so in some studies,

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Speaker 1: What a colleague of mind, Stephanie Carlson has found is

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Speaker 1: that having children use imagine their superhero and use their name.

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Speaker 1: Imagine your Batman and say what would Batman do right now?

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Speaker 1: Would Batman be able to not eat the marshmallow? Or

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Speaker 1: Dora the Explorer? What would Dora do? That can be

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Speaker 1: really powerful. It transports them into this other role which

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Speaker 1: gives them some distance from the temptation and also this

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Speaker 1: superpower to restrain it. And so that's been a fun

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Speaker 1: strategy that kids have been able to benefit from in

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Speaker 1: some experiments.

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Speaker 2: That's Professa Ethan Cross. We had to chat with back

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Speaker 2: in episode number one hundred and twenty eight of The

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Speaker 2: Happy Family's podcast. It's a long one, but it's an

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Speaker 2: absolute ripper. Please go back and have a listen to

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Speaker 2: it if you enjoyed what Ethan had to say in

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Speaker 2: our conversation snippet that we've shared with you just now.

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Speaker 2: Family life is pretty tough going. Sometimes most days are

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Speaker 2: a struggle between strong willed children and frazzled parents. But

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Speaker 2: it can be better. The twenty one Days to a

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Speaker 2: Happier Family program is designed for busy parents who want

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Speaker 2: a calmer, happier family and it can be done with

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Speaker 2: evidence based strategies and practices that really work. In twenty

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Speaker 2: one days. All resources are available for your family for

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Speaker 2: twenty one days to a happier family at happy families

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Speaker 2: dot com dot au. It's the Happy Famili's podcast, the

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Speaker 2: podcast for the time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 2: Now this may sound like it's not related to parenting

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Speaker 2: at all, but free diving. Are you aware of the sport?

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Speaker 2: Have you ever considered what it must be like to

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Speaker 2: hold your breath for anywhere up to eight minutes, dive

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Speaker 2: down to the deepest depths that humans can handle. I'm

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Speaker 2: talking one hundred meters down. The pressure, the way that

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Speaker 2: it squeezes your internals, what it does to your lungs

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Speaker 2: that makes them in the size of a grapefruit. Aunt

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Speaker 2: Williams is a professional free diver. Well, well, actually he's

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Speaker 2: a recreational free diver because nobody really owns that much

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Speaker 2: money from it to call yourself a professional. But he's

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Speaker 2: a free diver and a sports psychologist, And in episode

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Speaker 2: one hundred and nineteen of the Happy Familiess podcast, I

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Speaker 2: chatted with him about how free diving can give us

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Speaker 2: life lessons that help us to be better parents. That's

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Speaker 2: tomorrow on the podcast. I hope you'll join me for it.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be a fascinating discussion. The Happy Families

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Speaker 2: podcast is put together because of the great work of

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Speaker 2: Justin Rulan from Bridge Media and Craig Bruce, our executive producer.

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Speaker 2: If you'd like more info about making your family happier,

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Speaker 2: please listen to as many episodes of the podcast as

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Speaker 2: you can possibly digest, or visit happyfamilies dot com dot

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Speaker 2: a U for more. The p