1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: This is gem Nation. We're the Last time we spoke 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: to our next guest, just a few months ago, she 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: was on a national comedy tour. She has so much 4 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 1: material she can't help herself. She's got a new show 5 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: coming to Australia next year called Just No. 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 2: Well we say just Yes. 7 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: Ursula Carlson. 8 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, how are you guys? 9 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:22,759 Speaker 2: We are great. 10 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 4: I'm just marveling at the technology. We're talking to you 11 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 4: on a zoom chat. But you're driving around in the car. 12 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: You're not driving. 13 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 2: You're not driving. 14 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 3: You know, I'm doing media days. 15 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 2: I'm just in the car. 16 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 3: My friend Ze's taken me around and I thought, oh well, 17 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 3: we'll just tag the laptop and zoom in. 18 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 2: We're waving at Z hello z my Z. 19 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 1: My husband has always suggested. 20 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 4: Ursula's going hang on, see this is not about you. 21 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 4: It's got anothering to do with you. 22 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,240 Speaker 3: No. I just thought, oh no, you've seen what we're 23 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 3: up to. So we're part right outside Kiah. We've got 24 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 3: half an hour off, so we thought were quick to 25 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 3: go hit some meatballs. 26 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 2: Because you know they're getting rid of the meatballs. You 27 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 2: are they going to go? 28 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 3: They might as well close the shop. Why else would 29 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 3: you go there. 30 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,479 Speaker 2: Exactly, they're gonna get rid of the meat. 31 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: Well now they're adding an Allen key to the meatballs, 32 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: and people saying it's just too hard. 33 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 4: And many horses out there have gone there you go, 34 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:19,319 Speaker 4: We're safe. 35 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: Your new show. Do you ever, when you're on stage 36 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: have an outer body experience and you think is this 37 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: from the old show? Or have I actually already said 38 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: this joke? 39 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 5: Do you? 40 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 3: How do you keep track? How do you know? Amanda? Honestly, sometimes, 41 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 3: especially if I have two shows a night, then you 42 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 3: do the first show and then come the second show. 43 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,960 Speaker 3: You kind of have that because if you've done the 44 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 3: show a few times, like I can think about other stuff. 45 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,279 Speaker 3: I think while I'm talking and I'm doing the show, 46 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,559 Speaker 3: I'm like, Oh, I have to remember to get milk 47 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 3: on the way home, you know, I need to remember 48 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 3: to have the teacher parent teacher meeting. Oh, and then 49 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 3: I go, wait where am I? And then I sort 50 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 3: of I'm back in the room. But yeah, there's that. 51 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 3: But I think because mine is so conversational and no 52 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 3: two shows are the same. And also I mean I 53 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 3: try whenever anything happens during the day, I try and 54 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 3: incorporate that like my first ten minutes is usually different 55 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 3: every night because things happen during the day, you know, 56 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 3: like you can't just go in and not like, say, 57 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 3: if it's on, you know, the week that the queen died, 58 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 3: you can't just go on stage and not mention it 59 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 3: because we're all that's all we've been seeing. So you've 60 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 3: got to have to talk about it and make something 61 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 3: something fun out of that. But of course you don't 62 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:36,640 Speaker 3: talk about the queen. You talk about people who have 63 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 3: three days of their lives that they can stand in 64 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 3: a line and wait to go and see a cough 65 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 3: and not take a photo, not talk, not you know, 66 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 3: and you're kind to go, what schedule are these people 67 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 3: are running that they could just take a week off 68 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 3: and go and mourn. We don't all take a week 69 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 3: off and go and do that. 70 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: Even David Beckham did that. 71 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: He lined up with people who would have been in 72 00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,959 Speaker 1: his face for a full day. 73 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that that is. That is what they call 74 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 3: the seventh circle of Hell. 75 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 2: That's true. That's a firm just no, what do you 76 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: want to get away from posh? 77 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 5: It was was that strangers for an entire day turn 78 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 5: turn to fold the washing and unpacked the dishwasher. 79 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm going to go check out the queen. 80 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,239 Speaker 1: Well, speaking of things that give you the ear, it's 81 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: is this what just knows about the stuff that you 82 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: just just think life's too short? When's the asteroid going 83 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 1: to hit me? 84 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's that. But also some experiences that I've 85 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 3: had in the past because I'm on the road so much, 86 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 3: and I get to meet so many people, and you know, 87 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 3: I've lived in different countries, and and then some as 88 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 3: I go, I have all these weird experiences that I go, 89 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 3: I should probably talk to a therapist about it, but 90 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 3: instead I write a show about it. So it's not 91 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 3: just about stuff that irritates me as well, Like I 92 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 3: once accidentally kissed a ninety two year old lady straight 93 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 3: on the false teeth and not just a little, but 94 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 3: like both my teeth, both my lips, straight on her teeth. 95 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 3: And it's a sensation that I'm never going to forget. 96 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 5: How did it happen accidentally, Well, because we were at 97 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 5: a function together and I was trying to say bye 98 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 5: to her, and this was in Africa, and I tried 99 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 5: to give her a peck on the cheek and she 100 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 5: turned to say one more thing to me, And whatever 101 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 5: she was going to say involved both her lips pulling 102 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 5: away from her teeth and mikiss and a straight on 103 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 5: the teeth. 104 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 2: And they were dancer's top and. 105 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 3: Bottomed, and it was cold and warm and smooth, and 106 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 3: it was a bit so in my quiet moments. You know, 107 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 3: when you can't use your phone, you're just waiting for 108 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 3: the plane to take off or your battery died, and 109 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 3: you're on a train or a tram. 110 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 2: I think about that experience. 111 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 1: And there's no wady book to tell you what to 112 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: say next. 113 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 3: No, look, I married her. I made it, Honestly, I'm 114 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:48,239 Speaker 3: not an animal. 115 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 2: It's almost like a Katie Perry song. I kissed some 116 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 2: teeth and I did taste of that poly dance. 117 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, next to your bed. 118 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 4: Ursula, It's always great to talk to you, Ursula Carlson 119 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 4: just know. Tickets on sale now at live nation dot 120 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 4: com dot au. Ursula, thank you for joinys iron Z 121 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 4: as well. 122 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you. 123 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: Enjoy the meat balls.