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Speaker 1: It's their happy Famili's Podcat. Minions was the worst movie ever,

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Speaker 1: but parents are still taking their kids to see Minions

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Speaker 1: over light Year and now here's the stars of our show,

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Speaker 1: my mum and dad. Hello, this is doctor Justin Coulson,

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Speaker 1: the founder of Happy Families dot com dot You snuck

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Speaker 1: away to Adelaide this week. I'm feeling like a good

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Speaker 1: parent because I came home with some Haigus chocolate.

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Speaker 2: How is that a good parent?

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Speaker 1: Not sponsored? Not sponsored? But if you haven't tried Haig's

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Speaker 1: chocolate yet, be prepared. Number One, you're going to pay

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Speaker 1: a fortune for it. It's crazy how expensive it is.

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Speaker 1: But number two, well, the reason I bought it, it's

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Speaker 1: so incredibly good. The kids said, you're going to Adelaide,

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Speaker 1: does that mean you're coming home with Haigs. I've kind

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Speaker 1: of created a bit of a tradition. I call in

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Speaker 1: at the shop in Rundle Mall on the corner there

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Speaker 1: of King William and right.

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Speaker 2: I do notice that every time you go to Adelaide,

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Speaker 2: you happen to stay in a hotel that's within it.

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Speaker 2: Miniscule amount of meat is away from the Haigues chocolate factory.

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Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. So I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm a good dad this week because I've come home

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Speaker 1: with some Haigus and the kids love me.

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Speaker 2: The same dad who says we're going off sugar starting today.

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Speaker 1: Except when I've been to Adelaide and I've been to Haigs.

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Speaker 2: You're making our kids a bit of you know, chocolate,

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Speaker 2: chocolate because they won't eat cabri anymore.

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Speaker 1: They will They will eat anything. Have you have you

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Speaker 1: put chocolate in front of them and seen what they do?

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Speaker 1: My goodness, it's I'll do but it tomorrow today. My

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Speaker 1: name's doctor. Justin course, I'm here with Kylie, my wife.

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Speaker 2: Be better tomorrow. You're not going to buy any more chocolate?

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Speaker 1: Can you just let me do the podcast? Stop talking

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Speaker 1: about the chocolate. I have a stash of chocolate here

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Speaker 1: in the office, and Kylie's just pointed out and gone,

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Speaker 1: what are you going to do with that? You can't

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Speaker 1: leave that here. I'm like, see if I'm going to

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Speaker 1: take it home, everyone's going to eat it there. I

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Speaker 1: can be disciplined, I can hold on.

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Speaker 2: What you can be disciplined and not sharing.

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Speaker 1: I can be very very careful. Hey, We've had a

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Speaker 1: lot of feedback in relation to the podcast few weeks

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Speaker 1: more than we can possibly read. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for emailing as podcasts at happy families dot com dot

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Speaker 1: you podcasts with an s at happy families dot com

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Speaker 1: dot you. Last Friday, I was pretty down, wasn't I

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Speaker 1: pretty dejected? The kids had done me in. I was finished.

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Speaker 1: I was ready to quit, hang up the towel, just

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Speaker 1: walk away from parenting. And I wasn't seeking any kind

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Speaker 1: of support or anything like that. I knew I'd be okay.

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Speaker 1: But a couple of emails came through, Kylie. Here's the

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Speaker 1: first one. I justin listen to your Friday I'll Do

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Speaker 1: Better Tomorrow podcast and just wanted to write to say

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Speaker 1: that I have a similar sort of job to you.

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Speaker 1: I'm a family support worker, so I spend my days

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Speaker 1: walking alongside parents who are having a tough time and

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Speaker 1: running parenting courses and workshops where I'm supposed to be

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Speaker 1: the expert. I also have children age ten and thirteen.

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Speaker 1: I felt that feeling of this is what I do

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Speaker 1: for a living, so I should be great at it

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Speaker 1: all the time. So I just want to say, You're

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Speaker 1: allowed to have bad days too, You're allowed to make mistakes.

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Speaker 1: Kylie's onto something when she says, find a friend, not

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Speaker 1: your partner, who will let you make mistakes. I'd be

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Speaker 1: lost without my colleagues. Thanks for sharing your stories so generously,

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Speaker 1: And someone else said, appreciate Justin's words on is I'll

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Speaker 1: do better tomorrow, send your remote internet thoughts from a

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Speaker 1: stranger and acknowledge that you are seen and heard. It's

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Speaker 1: company to hear the reality that we don't want to

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Speaker 1: admit to as dads and mums who love their kids,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes everything just sucks. All the best love your podcasts.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to highlight that because while we weren't

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Speaker 1: seeking any kind of validation or anyone reaching out and

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Speaker 1: saying we get it, it's hard, we support you, it

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Speaker 1: was still nice to get a couple of messages come through.

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Speaker 1: There was also another one in relation to podcasts five

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Speaker 1: hundred and forty eight. So a couple of weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: we had an email come through from somebody and we

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Speaker 1: answered the question what do you do when your child

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Speaker 1: is coming up against kids who have different values? And

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Speaker 1: specifically there was an issue of racism. A little girl

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Speaker 1: brown skin. The kids at school said, we're not going

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Speaker 1: to play with you because of what color your skin is,

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Speaker 1: and so we reflected on that racism issue, even if

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Speaker 1: it's with little kids. We talked about how important is

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Speaker 1: that we address it early and do it effectively. Got

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Speaker 1: an email from someone called John. Kylie. I love this email.

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Speaker 1: John said, heard this podcast, episode number five forty eight.

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Speaker 1: It reminds me of a meeting we were having with

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Speaker 1: the principle of our previous school. In that meeting, our

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Speaker 1: son and I should mention John is of Asian heritage.

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Speaker 1: In that meeting, our son said, the white kids won't

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Speaker 1: play with me. Principal said nothing, not even a query

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Speaker 1: or apology. I was so stunned in this day and

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Speaker 1: age that this still happens. I didn't say anything. I

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Speaker 1: think when we do nothing, we're endorsing this behavior. That

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Speaker 1: school still has problems many years later. And then he said,

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Speaker 1: on reflection, I can think of many recent examples. I

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Speaker 1: was so used to it, I didn't notice it, and

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Speaker 1: that's the problem. So I'm really glad that we got

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Speaker 1: to have that conversation in that podcast, and we have

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Speaker 1: received a lot of feedback on that one as well.

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Speaker 1: So just wanted to share that one. So Kylie, I'll

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Speaker 1: do better tomorrow. Today that makes sense, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean?

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Speaker 2: Well, I just want to save everybody the heartache from

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Speaker 2: the outsets.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: If you're thinking of taking your children to see a movie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh oh oh, please don't.

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Speaker 2: Waste your time going and seeing Pinion.

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Speaker 1: Wow? So is this your obne better tomorrow? You're just

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Speaker 1: you know, I just had to put so we went

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Speaker 1: what was it last Saturday? The surf was pumping. I

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Speaker 1: had some work to do in the morning, and so

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Speaker 1: I was going to go up for a surf once

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Speaker 1: I got the work done, and you said no, No, we

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Speaker 1: promised the kids were going to go see Mimeon.

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Speaker 2: Do you think that was bad? I had my best

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Speaker 2: friend here.

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Speaker 1: I gave up the most incredible surf. You gave up

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Speaker 1: time with your best friend, and that was That was

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Speaker 1: the worst movie that. It has to be one of

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Speaker 1: the worst kids movies I've watched in my life. There

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Speaker 1: are a lot of other villains in the world. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to be a super villains.

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Speaker 2: So a couple of weeks ago, I took the kids

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Speaker 2: to see light Year.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: So Toy Story would hands down be one of our

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Speaker 2: all time family favorite movies.

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Speaker 1: We just love love the whole friend I love it well,

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Speaker 1: one two and three didn't love four, but one, two

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Speaker 1: and three amazing.

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Speaker 2: And so we were really excited. Saw a buzz up

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Speaker 2: there again and was like, this is going to be great.

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Speaker 2: So I was talking to a friend as we were

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Speaker 2: literally walking out the door ready to go to the movies,

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Speaker 2: and had, you know, asking each other what we were

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Speaker 2: doing for the day, and I told her that I

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Speaker 2: was taking the kids to see light Year and she said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think I'm going to give it a miss this year.

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Speaker 2: I'm boycotting Disney on this one. And I said, what

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Speaker 2: do you mean and she said, well, she said there's

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Speaker 2: some representation in there of a gay couple. And she said,

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Speaker 2: I just I don't feel like I should be having

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Speaker 2: to explain that to my four and five year olds

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Speaker 2: at this point in their lives. I hadn't heard anything,

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Speaker 2: and so we obviously continued with our plans and went ahead.

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Speaker 2: And to be honest, as someone who comes from a

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Speaker 2: heterosexual relationship, it wasn't offensive to me. It didn't upset

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Speaker 2: me the way that it has definitely upset a lot

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Speaker 2: of other people. What actually upset me about the movie

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Speaker 2: was that here was this amazing character that we've grown

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Speaker 2: up with and all of our children have grown up with.

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Speaker 2: And the movie was just it was like they literally

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Speaker 2: ripped Buzz out of this amazing background.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the Toy Story franchise is just phenomenal.

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Speaker 2: And placed him in this completely alter universe that meant nothing.

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Speaker 1: I can provide sleep sounds if you like. I have

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Speaker 1: several options, Summer Night, Ocean Paradise, well Carl no no, wait,

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Speaker 1: Noise is fine, very well. Canight sucks, Goonight Buzz.

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Speaker 2: It was a poor storyline.

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Speaker 1: I just felt like they cheated him two dud movies.

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Speaker 1: And since we've left Brisbane, the cost of movies has

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Speaker 1: gone through the roof. Like there's the Cineplex movies in Brisbane.

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Speaker 1: They were like seven bucks for a movie or something.

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Speaker 1: Up here, we're paying like more than double. It's killing me.

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Speaker 1: I just don't want to go to the movies anymore

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Speaker 1: because of how much they cost. I want to talk

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Speaker 1: about that issue though, So from a I'm always interested

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Speaker 1: in following the dollars. When you look at the box

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Speaker 1: office dollars, Minions has I think globally done more than double.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how, Yeah, I don't know how.

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Speaker 1: It's o two hundred million dollars versus a little over

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Speaker 1: one hundred million for light Year.

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Speaker 2: But I think the fact that Tim Allen wasn't a

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Speaker 2: part of light Year, I think that that would have

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Speaker 2: had a huge impact on.

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Speaker 1: The following Well maybe, but while I've been googling around

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Speaker 1: and trying to get some info on it, I think

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Speaker 1: that the issue of homosexuality in a kid's cartoon is

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Speaker 1: definitely It might be twenty twenty two, and I know

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Speaker 1: that we're dealing with all kinds of acceptance and inclusion

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Speaker 1: and diversity issues much much more effectively than we did five, ten,

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Speaker 1: twenty years ago. But there are a lot of parents

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Speaker 1: who are clearly and emphatically saying what adults choose to

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Speaker 1: do is up to them, and as people discover their sexuality,

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Speaker 1: that's fine, But I don't want to have to have

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Speaker 1: conversations with my four and five and six year old.

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Speaker 2: Of a cost on. It shouldn't be forced on my

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Speaker 2: children before I'm ready for them to have those conversations.

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Speaker 1: And that's the gist of the tone of the commonversations

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Speaker 1: that I'm picking up as I have been scaring the

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Speaker 1: Internet trying to find more information on the movies. And

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Speaker 1: what the feedback has been.

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Speaker 2: Well, and I guess for me again, you know, when

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Speaker 2: you look at the whole picture, there was no representation

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Speaker 2: of a heterosexual relationship in the movie, so there's nothing

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Speaker 2: to marry it up with. So for my children who

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Speaker 2: are experiencing that in their own home, there was nothing

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Speaker 2: that kind of said that that was normal, And of.

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Speaker 1: Course the inclusion and diversity perspective would be, well, your

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Speaker 1: children are surrounded by that, and we need to let

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Speaker 1: them know that there are other ways of having relationships.

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Speaker 1: But I think when you look at just at the dollars,

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Speaker 1: when you just look at following the money Minions versus

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Speaker 1: light Year, light Year should be winning. Light Year comes

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Speaker 1: from a much stronger franchise from Disney Pixar. It's I mean,

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Speaker 1: these guys are the monsters in the room in terms

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Speaker 1: of having the capacity, having the machine, having the money,

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Speaker 1: compared to the dream Works and the Minions sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: But I think that there may be something there that's

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Speaker 1: a curiosity and worthy of further conversation, because when you

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Speaker 1: follow the money, the parents are avoiding one and going

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Speaker 1: to the other. Even though and I didn't watch light

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Speaker 1: Year with you, I was busy, but having seen Minions,

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Speaker 1: I would have to believe that light Year is a

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Speaker 1: better movie than Minions, because Minions was the worst movie ever.

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Speaker 1: But parents are still taking their kids to see Minions

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Speaker 1: over light Year, and I'm just I'm curious to know

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Speaker 1: whether that's the reason. You can let us know podcasts

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Speaker 1: at Happy Families dot com dot you. Do you agree

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Speaker 1: that kids need to be exposed to a variety of

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Speaker 1: forms of relationships or do you think that they're too

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Speaker 1: young and that we need to leave the politics and

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Speaker 1: the gender identity and relationship sort of stuff out of

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Speaker 1: it until they're older. We'd love to know what you think.

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Speaker 1: Podcasts at Happy Families dot com dot AU. Send us

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Speaker 1: an email and we'll talk about a little bit more

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Speaker 1: next week now, missus Happy Families. After the break, let's

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Speaker 1: find out whether or not we've had a better week

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Speaker 1: this week than last week and what we can do

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Speaker 1: to be better parents tomorrow. The twenty first century is

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Speaker 1: a tricky time to be a teen girl. Alcohol, drugs,

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Speaker 1: mental health concerns, body image issues, technology, sex. Our daughters

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Speaker 1: face all these and more. The Happy Family's Misconnection Summit

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Speaker 1: brings together the best modern day experts on teen Girls

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Speaker 1: to show you how to stay connected with your daughter

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Speaker 1: and help her face these challenges head on, available online

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Speaker 1: via video at The Happy Family's web shop.

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Speaker 2: It's The Happy Family's podcast, The podcast for a time

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Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 1: Now, now we need to get too answers because we

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Speaker 1: talked too long in the first part of the podcast.

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Speaker 2: All right, tell me what's your story? Oh, could you

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Speaker 2: do better than last week?

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Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Everybody is waiting on baited breath.

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Speaker 1: That's right, because last week was so horrible. If you

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Speaker 1: missed it, by the way, go back and listen the

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Speaker 1: lastek's podcast where I complained about being a parent and

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Speaker 1: say I want to quit this week. Well, I was

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Speaker 1: away for a couple of nights, which is always so

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Speaker 1: it was awesome. I had a great week, he says.

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Speaker 1: And the hotel that they booked me in it was

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Speaker 1: really nice, it was quiet, just amazing. No, I would

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Speaker 1: say that the highlight of the week, the thing that

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Speaker 1: really got me was in spite of how awful last

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Speaker 1: week was or the week before, but whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Leading up to last week's podcast,

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Speaker 1: I had this moment with Emily, our eight year old,

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Speaker 1: the one who one of three, who's been driving one

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Speaker 1: of five, who's been driving me up the wall, and

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Speaker 1: she just came in really close to me, gave me

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Speaker 1: a big hug, put her ear against my chests, and said, Daddy,

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Speaker 1: I can hear a heartbeat, and then started tapping my

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Speaker 1: heartbeat on my arm while it was beating. And then

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Speaker 1: I got to do the same thing for her, And

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Speaker 1: it was just this magic moment where all of the drama,

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Speaker 1: all the pain, all of the hassle, all of the frustration,

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Speaker 1: the angst, the lure that had been going on for

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Speaker 1: the last little while, it literally evaporated in that moment,

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Speaker 1: and I saw her as this sweet little kid who

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Speaker 1: I just wanted a hug and hold and love and cherish.

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Speaker 1: And it was almost like that one moment was a

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Speaker 1: turning point. It was a catalyst. Maybe the conversations we've

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Speaker 1: had as well shifted it, but having that special moment,

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Speaker 1: and I think my take home message really really simple.

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Speaker 1: One is when we stop and we pay attention to

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Speaker 1: one another, even if it means listening to one another's

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Speaker 1: heartbeats and tapping them out on our arms or something

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Speaker 1: like that, we realize that our children are humans, they

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Speaker 1: realize that we're humans. We get to have that moment

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Speaker 1: of connection. So that's what I'm going to be working

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Speaker 1: really hard on over the next week, is having more soft,

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Speaker 1: slow moments with the kids.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm really glad that you had a beautiful room

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Speaker 2: in Adelaide and that you enjoyed the solitude and quiet,

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Speaker 2: because while you were doing that, I actually had one

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Speaker 2: of the biggest meltdowns to deal with that I've had

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Speaker 2: to deal with in quite some time with Miss eight,

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Speaker 2: in relation to going to school. We just did not

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Speaker 2: want to go.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so this school refusal issue. If you've been following

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Speaker 1: the podcast for a while, you'll know that this is

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Speaker 1: not new. We've got some really big challenges here.

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Speaker 2: So she didn't go to school on Monday, yep. And

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Speaker 2: Tuesday came and it was bigger than Ben hr.

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Speaker 1: And Ben her is big.

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Speaker 2: It was big. It was really really big. And it

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Speaker 2: got to the point where we were in a bit

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Speaker 2: of a wrestle as I was trying to get her

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Speaker 2: dressed and she was just adamant that she wasn't going,

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Speaker 2: and she was screaming and she hated me, and I

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Speaker 2: was the worst person in the world, until finally I

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Speaker 2: just kind of grabbed her in a bear hug and

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Speaker 2: she started I could feel the tensions start to calm,

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Speaker 2: even though all of the words were still coming out.

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Speaker 2: She'd kind of given up her fight, and so I

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Speaker 2: literally just picked her up in that big, great, big

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Speaker 2: bear hug and we sat on the couch and I

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Speaker 2: just thought, I will sit here as long as I

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Speaker 2: need to till she feels calm, she feels safe, and

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Speaker 2: she feels loved, and so I just sat there with her,

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Speaker 2: and it took probably about fifteen minutes, and she became

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Speaker 2: very very quiet, very calm. She didn't want to go

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Speaker 2: to school, and we just sat and I talked to

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Speaker 2: her and I told her how much I loved her

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Speaker 2: and that I couldn't wait till this afternoon because we

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Speaker 2: actually were having a playdate with one of her friends.

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Speaker 1: It was just a.

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Speaker 2: Really calm process, and it made all the difference because

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Speaker 2: by the time we worked through that, I was calm

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Speaker 2: because I had really built up and caught the emotions

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Speaker 2: of the morning, and she was really calm. And we

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Speaker 2: got to school and we got to school late, but

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Speaker 2: it didn't matter because we had worked through the process

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Speaker 2: without it becoming an absolute mess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and she actually went and we.

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Speaker 2: Did, and we had a great afternoon when I picked

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Speaker 2: her up. And it's just sometimes.

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Speaker 1: I reckon the cold mornings and the late sunrises, the

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Speaker 1: winter stuff. I reckon all of that plays into it,

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Speaker 1: as well as all of the other stuff. There's so

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Speaker 1: much there. But it sounds like you nailed it well,

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 2: When I talked to her and I asked, because she

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Speaker 2: just said, I hate school, and I said, can you

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Speaker 2: tell me more about that? And she said, well, I

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Speaker 2: sometimes get bullied. And we've been going through a conversation

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Speaker 2: with school in relation to what's been going on there.

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Speaker 2: And I said to her, has that been happening lately,

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Speaker 2: because I was under the impression that it hadn't. And

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Speaker 2: she said, no, it doesn't happen anymore. And I said,

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Speaker 2: but you're scared that it will and she said yes,

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Speaker 2: and just recognizing the anxiety in her that she's had

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Speaker 2: this bad experience and now she's scared that it will

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Speaker 2: happen again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I reckon that has to be one of

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Speaker 1: the central parts of what's going on here. What a

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Speaker 1: great conversation. The power of slowing down and having these

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Speaker 1: moments together. So it's been a big podcast, Kylie. We've

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Speaker 1: talked about all the feedback with the ups and downs.

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Speaker 1: We've talked about the worst movies and the controversy that

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Speaker 1: some people are really experiencing when it comes to another

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Speaker 1: very popular movie. And we've also highlighted some positive some

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Speaker 1: wins about how we get this right. And it all

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Speaker 1: seems to come back to the same principles that we

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Speaker 1: talk about so often. Slow down, be with the kids,

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Speaker 1: listen to.

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Speaker 2: Them, listen to the heart.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I see what you did there. I did it literally,

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Speaker 1: you did it metaphorically, and both times it led to

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Speaker 1: great outcomes. The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin

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Speaker 1: Rouland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like more info about making your family happy,

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Speaker 1: un visit us at happy families dot com, dot you,

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Speaker 1: or check out our Facebook page Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families.

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Speaker 1: Have a great weekend, Ken kin Kin