WEBVTT - FULLSHOW! How long should you wait to get with someone who got divorced? 😲 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:12.879 Laura. 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:22.480 Come on, hello lady, Hello britt Laura Gows. Have you 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:24.680 noticed that I'm looking a little, a little tan, more 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:25.440 tan than usual? 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:25.759 Yeah? 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:27.840 But is that not from all your hot girl walks, Mitch, 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:30.560 because you've been you've been doing some serious step counts. 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:32.280 No, no, I walk every day. No, I've started. I 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:34.440 saw this new trend on TikTok, and I haven't told 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:35.800 you that I've been doing it. But I've been eating 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:39.159 a carrot a day, and apparently that the orange pigment 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:40.880 from the carrot seeps into your skin. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.000 Surely not No, you'd need to be eating more than 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:45.200 one a day, surely, Midge. 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:47.440 Well, they say up to twelve, but I don't have 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:48.640 that much time nor carrots. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:49.280 I reckon. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:51.560 You've just been using a little bit of BONDI sands 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:53.960 gradual tan. No, no, no, I've been doing a little glow. 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:56.160 I've been chumming down on a carrot as I drive. 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:57.960 It makes it absolutely no difference. 0:00:57.960 --> 0:01:00.440 Otherwise my children would be literally orange, because I reckon, 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:01.959 they eat about seventeen carrots a day. 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:04.320 Can we do like a trial of this somehow? 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:07.000 Yes, Brute, you can eat twelve carrots and report back. 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:09.160 Oh I don't think I have anything. I had a 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.479 carrot last night. Actually, for everyone, this is groundbreaking. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:12.959 I had one. 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:17.000 Britain is really brave view. What did you do last night? 0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:19.479 I do feel like it's it's the right place to share. 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:21.479 I had a carrot last night? 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:24.240 Was it cooked or both? 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:25.160 Half raw? 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:26.080 And then I half cooked it? 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.480 But my point is I believe by the end of 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:30.000 the one carrot I couldn't do. 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.119 More, so there's no way I could be chomping down 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:32.440 on twelve. 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:34.200 So did you boil half a carrot? 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:38.080 So please please show is better than this. I swear it. 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:38.640 Is not ware. 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.800 I mean finish, please, Laura, please don't finish what I did. 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:43.160 What I did. 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:45.520 It was supposed to be grated, to be cooked. But 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:47.559 I'm one of those people that never eats my dinner 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:49.560 once it's cooked, because I eat along the way, you know, 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:50.480 when you snack. 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:52.200 On all your food before the meal comes. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:55.160 I didn't think I could lose more interest in and 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:56.680 I did. 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.080 I mean, look, we have an amazing ask on Cut coming, 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.600 which is what we do every single week. It's where 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:03.920 you guys call in with you your listener questions, your 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.760 big dilemmas, and I promise you it'll be more interesting 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:07.600 than the carrot story. 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:09.120 We have a very big guest on the show today 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:10.200 as well. I'm excited about it. 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:14.040 You. No. We have Daniel Ladley, former AFL great and 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.080 she's got a new documentary on Stan which we have 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:18.520 seen and it is incredible. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:20.320 It's an incredible story and. 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:22.720 She's going to be coming on and revealing all about 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:24.000 her two tribes. 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:25.840 All right, I can't wait. That's all on the way 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:28.040 for the pick up your Thursday. Welcome guys, where he 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:31.399 thinks a Chemist Warehouse heading today, get great Savings every day. 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:33.600 It is the pick up Britt, Laura and Mitch Hello, 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:37.120 face the world with ceed to feel. Get your dermatologist recommended. 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.399 Ceed to phel for a great price at Chemist Warehouse, 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:43.079 Great savings every day. Put your therapy caps on. Although 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.559 I don't think Britt Laura don't think therapists wear caps. 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:47.720 Ready, Yeah, I think therapy pretty way. Whatever they want. 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:50.560 We are doing, ask Uncut. 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.640 Where you writing your deepest, darkest burning questions? Yes, we 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:55.120 do our best to answer them. 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:57.240 Let's do it, ask Urcut. 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:01.919 We have one of our listeners, Step has called in 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:03.040 with a bit of a problem. 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:05.880 A high step Hello. 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.480 Hey guys, I've got a bit of an issue I 0:03:07.560 --> 0:03:09.639 was hoping you guys could help me with. So I've 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:13.440 always been really good friends with this guy, think like 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:16.800 high school super good friends and always seeing there's like 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.520 a big brother sort of type. The last sort of 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:24.480 year or fo, I have been developing other feelings and 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:27.200 he's also though at the back end of the divorce. 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:30.800 So I'm like, number one, how do I broach the subject? 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:33.600 But also at what point is too soon? 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:35.200 How soon are we talking? 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:40.560 Like how you yes, like a couple of weeks, like 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:43.200 signed documents that have been separated for like a year 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:47.040 that signed the documents. Actually a couple of weeks. That's 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:50.120 been messy, so messy. 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.040 Though, Steph, has he given you any any sort of 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.440 sign that he's into you? Has there been anything that 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:57.680 you could go, Look, I'm taking this bread crumbers as 0:03:57.680 --> 0:03:59.640 sign or a signal that maybe I'm in with a chance. 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.800 Well, I mean in terms of like I supported him 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:09.720 through like we're very close friends. So I feel like 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:12.480 that's a bit of a sign that I just don't 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:13.040 really know. 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:18.159 I Look, Steph, I am a really big like shoot 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:18.920 your shot person. 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:20.440 I shoot my shots all the time. 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:23.520 I think first and foremost here, you need to be 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:25.760 a friend first, So you need to be there for 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:28.640 him in every capacity as a friend. No pressure, no 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:30.880 nothing make HI feel uncomfortable. Don't flirt, don't hit, don't 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.560 even don't let him know anything unless you know he 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:35.640 has one hundred percent moved on. Like if you know 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:39.480 he's completely fine and he's in that next transition, baby, 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:41.400 I'd be shooting that shot. I'd be letting him know, 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:44.039 I'd be trying some moves. There's so many ways to 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:46.560 flirt and like let him know, engaging in shoes. 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:47.960 I'm with you, Britt. I think you need to be 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:49.640 there and be a friend, but you need to be 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:54.440 really sexy when you do it, like like, oh, let's 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:56.640 go for a walk and wear some nice Lulu lemon, 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:58.240 you know what I mean, some hot clothes and I 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.520 think that'll play well for you. But I do want 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:03.279 to say, you said I was there for him during 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.159 the divorce and I was there a shout at a crayon? 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:07.159 Did you do that knowing that you wanted to be 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:09.280 with him? What was it? Was there an ulterior motive there? 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:10.400 Maybe one day? 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:11.599 No? 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:15.320 No, no, always been friends, he's been in the last 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:19.919 sort of little while though, so no ulterior motive that 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:24.160 the relationship had ended. But because I've been support for him, 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:26.520 I've been like, oh, what do I do? 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:27.240 How do I? 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:28.800 How do I? 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:29.240 Yeah? 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:34.640 But also because the documents were only signed really recently, 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.640 I'm like, oh, let it said all. 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.719 No, Britt says, shoot your shot. But my question is 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:43.720 how important is his friendship to you? Because it could 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:46.600 fundamentally change everything. And if he turns around and says, oh, 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.680 I don't feel the same, then the friendship isn't to 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:51.960 him what it is to you, and it might mean 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:53.520 that you guys don't have anything at all. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:56.680 If I, oh, my god, yes, I love you too, 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:57.800 and you could have found. 0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:00.240 Your soulmate twin flames. When the rest of you get 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:03.520 a lot, it's worth fighting for. It's a risk, is 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:05.920 all I'm saying. Nothing having comes easily. 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:08.800 Okay, I think you pulling these quotes from I. 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:09.440 Do you know what? 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:11.599 You just need to have a cheeky glass of wine 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:13.599 one evening just see. 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:14.680 How he responds. 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:17.599 I don't think aggressively shooting your shot is the way 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:19.560 to go about it, but I think some subtle flirting 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:22.040 when you feel like you're ready and just see if 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:23.040 he responds positively. 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:25.080 But just do it in a bra That's my advice. 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.160 Just do it in Brier Nundy's. That's all I'm saying. 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:29.920 Wet the lips and up to oh. 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:35.560 Wow, wow, you're doing so well. Subtle about your wet lips, 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:39.560 bread Keepers updated Steph please okay. 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:40.719 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will think. 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:42.440 Right, no worries. You can hit up the pick up 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:44.800 on our Instagram, slide into the DMS if you need 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:46.320 some help, and we will wet. 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.120 Coming up after the break, we have Daniel lately on, 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:53.599 former AFL great and transgender woman who has just released 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:56.600 her documentary on Stand and absolutely incredible. 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:58.600 All right, Daniel's on with us next here at the 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:02.440 pickup Thursday. Here the pickup with Britt, Laura and Mitch 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:05.800 head into Chemist Warehouse today. You'll get great savings every day. 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.520 I want to talk to you guys today about the 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:12.760 original Stand documentary that has just come out called Revealed 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:15.160 Daniel Laidley Two Tribes. 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:15.960 Now. 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:21.760 It's a documentary that looks at Daniel Laidley's two worlds colliding. 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.960 And when I say two worlds, that's in reference to 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:27.240 the two tribes in the title, this is Danielle's life 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:30.320 as an ex AFL footage player and a coach, and 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:33.840 then it's her other world as a transgender woman, and 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.360 it explores what that looks like for her and how 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:40.000 those decisions were taken away from her drug addiction. It's 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:43.000 truly inspiring and incredible and this is a piece of 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:43.760 the documentary. 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:47.480 The AFL is always is to go football and always 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:52.160 think you want to hear about me. Today is the 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:56.880 first time that I've represented both my tribes. Former North 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:00.680 Melbourne football coach Dean Ladley has been charged possession. 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:03.960 Photographs taken at this until the police station have gone viral. 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:06.440 I've got a phone call that's been arrested. 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:07.760 I hated who I was. 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:11.120 All the decisions that you've made have not been good ones. 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:14.480 I don't think anyone really knew what Danny went through. 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:17.480 We actually have Danielle with us today. 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:18.920 Hi Danielle, Hi, Danielle. 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:21.000 Hi. By gang, how are you? 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:21.600 Oh? 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:24.880 We're so well Danielle even just listening to that the 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:28.480 shorts for the Stan documentary, like how do you feel 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:29.480 when you hear that back? 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:33.920 I'm okay now. When we were going through the filming 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:36.839 the first edit, Nora and I watched it together and 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:42.760 within ninety seconds were very, very emotional, and we basically 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:47.839 cried through the whole the whole film. But now we've 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.640 watched it, I don't know, maybe ten times because we 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:52.959 had to watch it through all the different edits. Now 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.959 we can sort of watch it quite objectively. We're really 0:08:56.080 --> 0:09:01.240 proud of the final package. We've been now to tell 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:05.360 our story in our own words, because the narrative you know, 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:09.720 when it very first became public was not good. Yeah, 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:13.559 there was a lot of false things said, there was 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:18.200 a lot of innuendo, and that was, you know, probably 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:22.160 the main reason why we wanted to make the film 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:25.040 so we could tell our story in our words. 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.000 Daniel, I think for a bit of context as well, 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:30.960 you played one hundred and fifty one games for men's 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:34.559 AFL West Coast Eagles and North Melbourne football clubs, and 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:37.480 I think the story is so important that now as 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:40.520 a transgender woman, that coming out of that reveal was 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:43.400 completely taken from your hands. You had no power in that, 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:45.360 and if you don't mind speaking to how that happened, 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:47.920 I think it's in the documentary. It is really powerful. 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:49.920 But if you can speak to what happened in that situation. 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:51.920 I think that is so important to hear. 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:55.640 Yeah, I was going through a pretty bad time at 0:09:56.520 --> 0:10:00.719 in my life. You know, I'd never couched drugs or 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:05.559 anything like that, and was introduced from a relationship that 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:11.600 I was in and it got really bad. I still 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:18.400 hadn't been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and eventually it just 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:21.440 came out one day when I was seeing my counselor 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.360 at the time. You know, I got diagnosed with a 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:28.800 gender psyche and endocrinologists and all that sort of stuff, 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:34.800 and we were starting to plan a strategy of Okay, 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.719 how do we get the family together, how do we 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:44.959 tell friends? So we put a strategy in that we 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:49.640 were going to approach the AFL, But unfortunately that was 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:53.200 taken away when I was outed by the Victoria police. 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:59.400 You know, I got arrested. And it was funnily enough, 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:02.640 it was me who rang the police and said, I'm 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:06.160 breaking the intervention order because I was just at such 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:09.079 a low point. I didn't know what to do. My 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:13.559 drug use was spiraling. I just had been diagnosed with 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:17.120 gina dysphoria. Went stood out in front of my property 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:20.760 and called them and they came and arrested me, which 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:23.319 was a bad decision on top of a few others 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:28.200 that I'd made. You would think the Victoria police would 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:33.960 show some care and empathy and go through the legalities 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:37.600 of what had happened. But to have police members take 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:42.400 photos of me, take my phone, take photos off my phone. 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:47.559 It was very public, so all those plans that we 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:52.280 were starting to put in place. The AFL family friends 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:57.079 found out about it when you did, when they saw 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:57.720 it in the paper. 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:01.280 Well, we are talking to former af FELT great Danielle Ladley, 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:04.000 who you may have seen this has recently start in 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.960 her own stand original documentary series all about her life, 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:11.520 her career, and her incredible story of going from AFL 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.840 football grade to her life now as a transgender woman. 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:18.880 Was there any consequence for the police who were at 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.240 fault here? How did that process end up? 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:27.240 There was about forty odd who got charged internally with 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.880 something called disgusting behavior and then is. 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:31.760 That the actual term? 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:32.240 Danielle? 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.120 Yeah, wow, I didn't even know that that was something 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:37.599 you could be charged with. When was it that you 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:39.560 knew you felt different? 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.959 The very first time it happened to me, I was 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:46.520 probably six years of age, and there were wow, literally 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:51.400 hundreds of things going through my childhood and then early 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:56.400 teens and having depression and anxiety. I didn't know why 0:12:56.559 --> 0:13:00.440 I was feeling this way, peeling back delays the last 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.760 six or seven years. I can now label that as 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:09.679 little Danielle times when it was speaking. She wanted attention, 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:13.800 she wanted love, she wanted affection, she wanted all that 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.360 sort of stuff. And the one thing that I've learned 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:19.880 is you can't outrun gender dysphoria. 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:20.440 Yah. 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:23.720 As I got a little bit older and the Internet 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:27.319 comes along and I was able to meet people and 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.760 talk to people, it started to become clearer. 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.760 It must have been nice to have that revelation and 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.800 be like, wow, I'm not actually alone, like there are 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:39.240 other people that are going through what I'm going through totally. 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:40.800 Well that I mean, that is watching this docco that 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.360 is couldn't be more clearer, the two worlds colliding. Stay there, Danielle. 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.679 We want to delve more into your second part of 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:51.120 your life, your time as a transgender woman and being 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:55.120 part of the lgbt QA plus community. More with Danielle 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.800 after this on the pickup, We're back right around Australia 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.920 Thursday afternoon. It is the pickup. We've brit Laura and 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:04.559 Mitch head into chemist warehouse today. Great savings every day 0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:07.480 joining us. Now we're back with Danielle Lady. It's on 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:11.720 Stand the new Stand original docer revealed Danielle Ladley two Tribes. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.160 We've just been talking to Danielle. This is an incredible story, 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:16.439 right Laura, it really is. 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.360 And daniel how did the AFL and also your own 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:23.560 family respond to finding out that you were not being 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:24.600 able to live authentically. 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.960 It's caused a lot of grief with the in our 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:32.720 family of how it came out, and we're still on 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:38.240 some fronts working through that. The AFL having lived in fear, 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:42.440 the shame and embarrassment of what perhaps people would think 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:46.480 of me. From the CEO of the AFL, Gilma Blockwin 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.560 to you know, people I coach, people I played with, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:55.320 the wider football community have been so supportive and caring 0:14:55.400 --> 0:15:00.600 and everything I've literally had in the last bit now 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:06.480 thousands of messages thank you for telling your story. The 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:10.320 next most important thing was showing what we went through 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:14.360 for families. I'm hoping that that it's a real education 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:18.440 piece for a lot of people from all walks of. 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:22.360 Life, Danielle. As someone who identifies as gay myself, I 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.680 have the exact same feelings about my sexuality. I had 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:27.960 them at a similar age, and it pales in comparison 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:31.360 to yours. And sexuality and gender are different. But we 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:33.640 have so many parents listening at the pickup right now, 0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:36.440 I just I want to ask you and give you 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:41.640 the opportunity to maybe offer some advice on how potentially 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.520 parents can deal with their children's gender dysphoria potentially and 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:48.760 their kids, and maybe even explaining what gender dysphoria is. 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:54.680 No, gender dysphoria is how you feel on the inside 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:58.840 is not congruent with what is portrayed on the outside. 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:03.600 That's where the dysphoria comes. That's where the wrestle comes in. 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:07.720 To any parent or to any teenager, the best thing 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.280 to do is to be able to talk about your 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:15.200 feelings and then as a family, whichever member it is, 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:20.120 seek some professional help. There's some great facilities and resources 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:24.040 out there now. As a transgender person, I've been dealing 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.480 with this my whole life. Others around me, some have 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:31.640 known for seven or eight years when I very first 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:35.520 started to live my life as myself just not in 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:38.920 front of my kids or at my place of work. 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:42.360 It's a big change and it's only new for them, 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:46.080 So as transgender people too, we need to be patient 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:47.840 with all those around us. 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:49.960 This is the pick up. We're talking to former AFL 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:53.240 Great Daniel Lay, who was recently starting a stand original 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:56.040 documentary all about her time as at AFL Great and 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:57.960 now living as a transgender woman. 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.360 I would just love to know one thing I know 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:02.440 just a couple of days ago, And excuse my ignorance, 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.000 I'm not an AFL person, but I saw an article 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:06.480 about one of the AFL players. 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.280 There was a photo that was taken last week. He 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:09.880 had just lost the match. 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.040 He had his hands over his face and he had 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:17.080 painted fingernails, And there were so many homophobic comments that 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:20.040 I saw on that thread about that. It wasn't about 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:21.639 the game, wasn't about how amazing he played. It was 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.000 about the fact that he had his fingernails raised. It 0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.040 and there was a part of me that thought, Wow, 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.840 how are we still having these conversations. Do you see 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.719 the tide turning in society at the moment or are 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.840 you hoping that this documentary is going to really help that. 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:41.760 I hope the documentary helps that. I think the gay 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:46.280 and lesbian movement is so far in front being educated 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:51.280 for many years. Still though there's a hell of a 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:52.440 lot of work to do. 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:53.439 I agree. 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:58.280 Now, all of a sudden, we have a young footballer 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:03.120 that wants to pain his nails. Yeah, so what exactly 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:06.719 he's on that ground because he has a talent at 0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:12.720 an elite sport. That messaging just in that picture says 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:16.560 within the four walls of AFL football clubs, people can 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:21.080 be themselves outside that. It's a societal issue that you know, 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:24.000 the stuff that you're just talking about, stuff that I 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:27.800 go through still every day. That's where we've got a 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:28.919 lot of work. 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:33.520 To Dannielustan documentary. I think it's so beautiful that you 0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:36.560 were able to reclaim your story, and I think that 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:38.960 this is really going to reframe for people, especially for 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:41.600 anybody who may have just skimmed over headlines in the 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:45.360 news or seen something and made up a judgment. Yeah, 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:47.080 and that's what we do, right, We see a headline, 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:49.159 we make a snap judgment. And this is an opportunity 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:51.119 for you to be able to really share your story 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.280 in your way. And one of the things I think 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.760 is so beautiful about your story is your relationship with Donna. 0:18:57.119 --> 0:18:59.840 How you've been in each other's lives throughout your whole life. 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:03.280 It's incredible. And was there ever a time in your 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:06.520 life where you were maybe surprised because you know, society 0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:09.359 tells you that you're not lovable when you're going through this, 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:12.639 that somebody is going to stay there and love you 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.520 regardless of who you are or how you present, because 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:17.240 of the person that you are. Just think it, like, 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.359 it's just such a beautiful part of your story. 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:24.600 Yeah, And you know, I suppose the choice was to 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:31.439 live and be my authentic self. I thought the ramifications 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:36.000 of that decision rather than leaving this world in a sad, 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:39.440 sorry state, I'll probably be by myself for the rest 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:43.000 of my life. And so Donald and I had reconnected, 0:19:43.160 --> 0:19:46.960 but I still hadn't told her. Donald will openly say, 0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:51.479 why can't you just love another person? I'm forever ever 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:55.359 grateful for that and the reality with our relationship, I 0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:58.359 can be myself. It's beautiful best version of myself, and 0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:01.320 so can Donna. Yeah, we have a lot of fun. 0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:06.680 We're basically inseparable. We do everything together. You know. We 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:10.720 live between Melbourne and Perth, and we fly sort of 0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:14.520 every second week, every third week. And I'm grateful. 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:22.640 Everyone. We're all on our team. This documentary is incredible. 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:25.200 If you guys listening to this haven't seen it, please 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:28.760