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Speaker 1: Dum Mission with Jonesy and Amanda so Megan Markle has

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Speaker 1: written a very moving story for The New York Times

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Speaker 1: about suffering a miscarriage in the middle of the year.

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Speaker 2: She said, losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable

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Speaker 2: grief experienced by many but talked about by few. She

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Speaker 2: said she felt a sharp pain when she was holding

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Speaker 2: her son Archie. She said, I felt a cramp. I

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Speaker 2: dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming

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Speaker 2: a lullaby to keep us both calm. The cheerful tune

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Speaker 2: a stark contrast to my sense that something wasn't right.

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Speaker 2: I knew as I clutched my firstborn child that I

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Speaker 2: was losing my second. Hours later, I lay in a

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Speaker 2: hospital bed, holding my husband's hand, staring at the cold

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Speaker 2: white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine

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Speaker 2: how we'd heal, she said. Then, sitting in the hospital bed,

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Speaker 2: watching Harry's heart break, I realized that the only way

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Speaker 2: to heal was to ask myself, are you okay? She

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Speaker 2: said that this is still a conversation around miscarriage and

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Speaker 2: russy Teagan spoke about this recently too, when she had

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Speaker 2: a miscarriage. It seems quite taboo. Although out of one

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Speaker 2: hundred women, ten or twenty will have had a miscarriage,

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Speaker 2: she said, it's still kind of taboo, almost with shame,

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Speaker 2: which is hugely unwarranted and perpetuates the cycle of solitary mourning.

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Speaker 2: Losing a child, she said, is carrying an almost unbearable

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Speaker 2: grief experienced by many but talked about by few. It's true,

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Speaker 2: and how brave she is to invite more scrutiny into

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Speaker 2: her life. You know, I know they're no longer senior

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Speaker 2: royals where they go and cut ribbons and all of this,

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Speaker 2: but I think that the Royals at their core are

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Speaker 2: about service and what she has done here is a

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Speaker 2: very modern royal thing to do, because in the old days,

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Speaker 2: the royals didn't speak about anything, no personal stories. All

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Speaker 2: grief was just shut down. And that's what the new

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Speaker 2: Royals are trying to do, talking about mental health, etc.

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Speaker 2: She says that it was when remember we saw that

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Speaker 2: famous footage where they were filming her tour of South

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Speaker 2: Africa and at the end a journalist said to her,

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Speaker 2: you're okay, and she spoke very bluntly about how she

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Speaker 2: was really struggling a lot of people know Booop or you.

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Speaker 2: She said, actually just to be asked the question, that

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Speaker 2: no one ever asked her the question. And we have

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Speaker 2: a very big culture thanks to yu Oka day of

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Speaker 2: asking the question. We're getting better at it, aren't we.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. But I guess with the Royals, people who just

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Speaker 3: expect the stiff upper lip and be quiet.

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Speaker 2: A man, and oh you're being riches, enjoy your elite life,

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Speaker 2: and they're humans. They're absolute humans.

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Speaker 3: And it's curious with the miscarriage stuff, like we had

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Speaker 3: a miscarriage years ago when my middle one before the

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Speaker 3: middle one Romany twenty three. She's twenty three now, so

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Speaker 3: if that baby had come to fruition, she'd be about

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Speaker 3: twenty four or twenty five now. But I remember at

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Speaker 3: the time I was in Brisbane, Helen was in Sydney.

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Speaker 3: She rang me, she said I'm pregnant. I said, wow,

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Speaker 3: you know. And I went out to watch a Broncos

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Speaker 3: and Ilaura Steeler's game that night in Brisbane and the

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Speaker 3: boss was I was sitting in the corporate box and

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Speaker 3: I was feeling kind of happy in the boss of course,

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Speaker 3: and there's so how many kids of you guys, I've

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Speaker 3: got one, but actually I've got some exciting news We're

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Speaker 3: going to have another one, and everyone's going, ah, you know,

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Speaker 3: and it was a whole thing about it. And then

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Speaker 3: Helen rang probably about three days later and said, I've

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Speaker 3: just had a miscarriage. And it was at the time

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Speaker 3: a friend of mine said, well, you shouldn't have told

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Speaker 3: everyone so soon. Big to battle with that, and that

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Speaker 3: was the other thing. But it was like, and it

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Speaker 3: was you're right about the shame. They felt like this

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Speaker 3: degree of shame and it was this a second baby,

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Speaker 3: or it would have been an accidental pregnancy. So it

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Speaker 3: was we were kind of young. You didn't realize the

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Speaker 3: gravity of it, but I certainly understand the gravy of

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Speaker 3: it as people get older. And like I mentioned, if

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Speaker 3: you're an IVF parent and you miscarried a baby, that

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Speaker 3: would be like the worst thing in the world. You

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Speaker 3: put all your eggs in that basket.

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Speaker 1: Satiscury's the palm.

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Speaker 2: But it is that interesting thing too. It people say,

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Speaker 2: you know, wait till you're into your second trimester before

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Speaker 2: saying anything. There's another school of thought that says you

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Speaker 2: may as well tell people because if you're going to

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Speaker 2: have a sad event, and lose that baby. You need

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Speaker 2: people around you. It's very hard to come back after

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Speaker 2: that's happened. Even with IVYF attempts as I went through,

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Speaker 2: because anything happened, I was all good. So you keep

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Speaker 2: it secret, but which means you don't get to talk

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Speaker 2: about how you feel. A great community of families have

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Speaker 2: been through what you've been going through, and more and

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Speaker 2: more people are going to be talking about it. Thanks

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Speaker 2: to Megan Markel, I Think Sure

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Speaker 1: Sure with Joins and Amanda