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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers.

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Speaker 2: Now, you couple the COVID pandemic, lockdowns and restrictions, with

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Speaker 2: the increasing use of screens and parents being busier. You

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Speaker 2: bring all of these factors together and more pressure on

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Speaker 2: schooling and academics. And so that's why we're putting on

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Speaker 2: this summer, this Raising Resilient Kids summer.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom

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Speaker 1: and Dad.

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Speaker 2: I've got this feeling, Kylie. I've got a bit of

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Speaker 2: an inkling that this week is going to go really

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Speaker 2: fast and end in a whole lot of fun.

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Speaker 3: What do you know that I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I know that it's our wedding anniversary in a week

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Speaker 2: from today, and we're going away this weekend, and you

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Speaker 2: don't know where.

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Speaker 3: I have no idea.

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Speaker 2: So we've got this deal that I plan the wedding anniversaries.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it hasn't ever been formalized, but this is

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Speaker 2: kind of how it plays out. I'm not that into

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. I didn't even get you a flower on

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. You did such a beautiful job of making

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Speaker 2: me feel special on Valentine's Day.

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Speaker 3: But do you know I wrote all of those I

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Speaker 3: love yous on the photos and I just found a

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Speaker 3: few extras. You've forgot them all, and do you know

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Speaker 3: what My favorite one was?

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Speaker 2: You love me because I'm me? No, why do you

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Speaker 2: love me?

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Speaker 3: I love that you trust me with your credit card?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's some stories we could tell about that, but

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Speaker 2: not in today's podcast. But we've got this informal thing

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Speaker 2: where I love to spoil you on our wedding anniversary,

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Speaker 2: and I tend to, but this is a big one.

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Speaker 3: This is a really big one.

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Speaker 2: Twenty five years. For the last few weeks, every Friday,

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Speaker 2: you've been allowed to ask me one question, one question

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Speaker 2: about what's going to happen on our anniversary. You know

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Speaker 2: it's going to be a big surprise. Since Valentine's Day,

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Speaker 2: you've been asking questions and so far, what do you know?

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Speaker 3: Well, the first one that was the most important was

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Speaker 3: that we were celebrating alone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's not going to be any children none. I mean,

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Speaker 2: we love our kids.

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Speaker 3: And the second one was that we were going to

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Speaker 3: be going away. We were actually having away time, yes.

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Speaker 2: And we live on the Sunshine Coast, so you were

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Speaker 2: pretty well convinced that we're going to Montville Mulaney something

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Speaker 2: like that. Yeah, the Hintsland, which I love. Yeah. Absolutely.

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Speaker 3: And then I asked whether or not we were catching

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Speaker 3: an aeroplane.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I think you said it were going overseas. No.

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Speaker 3: I asked if you were catching an aeroplane.

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Speaker 2: I thought you said overseas, because I had to fudge

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Speaker 2: and get all funny about it, because well, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I said, Tasmanie, you could be overseas because we're.

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Speaker 3: Going over I asked if we were catching an aeroplane,

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Speaker 3: and then once you said yes, I then asked if

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Speaker 3: we were going overseas.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So you cheated. You asked two questions on the

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Speaker 2: one day.

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Speaker 3: You answered I did.

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Speaker 2: That's right, So that's as much as you know. No, oh, no,

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Speaker 2: because you've asked one.

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Speaker 3: Then I asked another question, Yeah, did I need a passport?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: And you acknowledged that I did, so we're definitely not

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Speaker 3: going to Tasmania, right. But then I also asked.

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Speaker 2: You've been sneaking extra questions in because you've only had

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Speaker 2: four weeks to ask questions if.

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Speaker 3: We'd ever been there for yeah, and you said no, correct,

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Speaker 3: And I asked it if we'd talked about going there.

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Speaker 2: Have I been that generous in my answers?

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Speaker 3: Maybe?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So what's your pick? Where do you think we're going?

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Speaker 2: What are your top three picks?

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Speaker 3: Well, it can't be Bali, it can't be Fiji. It

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Speaker 3: has to be somewhere close because we're only going away

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Speaker 3: for a few days.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So you know that My inspiration for this was

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Speaker 2: a mister Beast YouTube video where he approached some guy

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Speaker 2: on a university campus and said, if I give you

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Speaker 2: three hundred dollars, will you fly to Paris flood to France.

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Speaker 3: And that if I'm stuck on an aeroplane for two

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Speaker 3: of the three days we're gone, that you are going

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Speaker 3: to be dead.

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Speaker 2: Me you said that, Oh my goodness. What if it's

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Speaker 2: really good when we get there?

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Speaker 3: After everything you know about me? Yes, I don't care

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Speaker 3: where we're going, just as long as it's you and

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Speaker 3: me alone?

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Speaker 2: Well alone?

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Speaker 3: Did you get it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I got it. I got it. You'll find out

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Speaker 2: on Friday when we get to the airport, our happy

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Speaker 2: families listeners will find out what do I have to

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Speaker 2: pack next week? I'll tell you on Thursday night when

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Speaker 2: we're packing. Oh, you can't do that. I need to

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Speaker 2: get something. You don't need to get anything.

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Speaker 1: How do you know?

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Speaker 2: I just believe that you don't need to get anything.

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Speaker 2: We have a podcast.

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Speaker 3: I also know that we have unstructured time. Well that's

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Speaker 3: for one something.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, we have one specific activity planned. Well, I

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Speaker 2: have one a specific activity plan for us. We have

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Speaker 2: a podcast to get on with. I'm going to let

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Speaker 2: that one fly. We have a podcast to get onto today.

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Speaker 2: I want to talk about an upcoming summit. Every six

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Speaker 2: months or so at Happy families dot com dot a you,

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Speaker 2: we have been running amazing summits, the Misconnection Summit, the

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Speaker 2: Bringing Up Boys Summit, the Little People Big Feelings Summit,

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Speaker 2: the how to Help your Family Not be a Hot

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Speaker 2: Mess Summit, and we've had just thousands and thousands of

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Speaker 2: people who have been able to take advantage of these

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Speaker 2: summits make their families happier. We've got a summit coming up.

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Speaker 2: Just launched the details in the last couple of days

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Speaker 2: at Happy families dot com, dot you and at our

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Speaker 2: Facebook page. And I'm gonna be honest, today's podcast is

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Speaker 2: a bit of an advertorial for the summit because it

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Speaker 2: matters so much now. As you know, we give away

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Speaker 2: as much information as we can for free, but our

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Speaker 2: summits are an absolute premium product and so they do

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Speaker 2: attract a fee. And I want to tell you about

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Speaker 2: our next summit is going to be called Raising Resilient Kids.

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Speaker 2: The Summit.

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Speaker 3: The Summer.

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Speaker 2: The summer I feel like we need big music. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So Raising Resilient Kids the Summit. It happens on the

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Speaker 2: thirtieth of March. So resilience is this that's a buzzword.

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Speaker 3: It's a real buzzword.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it has been for I reckon ten fifteen

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Speaker 2: years now.

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Speaker 3: So why is it such a hot topic, especially now?

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Speaker 2: Can I share some science, some old science, and then

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Speaker 2: bring that into right now to answer a question years

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Speaker 2: and years and years ago, in the mid nineteen fifties,

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Speaker 2: an American sociologist by the name of Emmy Warner received

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Speaker 2: funding to go into a fairly impoverished, underprivileged, and challenged

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Speaker 2: community on the Hawaiian island of Cawi and research follow

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Speaker 2: literally every child that was born in that year. I

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Speaker 2: think it was either nineteen fifty five or nineteen fifty

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Speaker 2: six from memory, follow every single child born that year

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Speaker 2: across the first ten years of life to see what

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Speaker 2: makes kids why these kids were struggling. Now they were

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Speaker 2: born into a community. Bearing in mind it's the nineteen fifties, right,

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Speaker 2: so we're dealing with intergenerational poverty in this community. There's

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Speaker 2: intergenerational alcohol and drug use and abuse. There's intergenerational imprisonment.

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Speaker 2: People aren't finishing school, that dropping out early, there's kids

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Speaker 2: getting pregnant in their teens, you name it. The intergenerational

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Speaker 2: challenges were enormous in this particular place, and so she

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Speaker 2: wanted to find out what was going on, why there

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Speaker 2: were so many challenges, and this ten year grant that

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Speaker 2: she received was designed to figure it out. But at

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Speaker 2: the end of ten years, they still didn't have enough answers,

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Speaker 2: and she got funding for another ten and then subsequently

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Speaker 2: she received more funding and more funding until forty years

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Speaker 2: later in the mid nineteen nineties, she finally wrapped up

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Speaker 2: the study, speaking with teachers and parents and church leaders

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Speaker 2: and people in the community, neighbors, the parents, the artists,

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Speaker 2: the uncles, the grandparents, the kids themselves as they moved

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Speaker 2: through childhood and into adulthood. I mean, this was a comprehensive,

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Speaker 2: quantitative and qualitative study. There's surveys, there's questionnaires, there's interviews,

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Speaker 2: there's all kinds of measures. And what Emmy Werner found

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Speaker 2: was that about two thirds of the kids repeated all

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Speaker 2: the non resilient behaviors that they'd been taught as they

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Speaker 2: were growing up. They also dropped out of school earlier.

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Speaker 2: They had emotional and behavior regulation challenges. They were inclined

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Speaker 2: towards alcohol and drugs. They ended up in prison or pregnant.

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Speaker 2: They had hard lives, but one third didn't. One third thrive.

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Speaker 2: They were resilient. They grew in the face of that

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Speaker 2: adversity rather than struggled. In the face of that adversity.

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Speaker 2: They finished high school, they got good jobs, they held

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Speaker 2: down strong relationships, they ended up married with kids. And

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Speaker 2: when Werner, after forty years, sat down with their team

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Speaker 2: and said, what's gone on with this one third of kids,

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Speaker 2: this two hundred and twenty ish kids that they seem

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Speaker 2: to have bucked the trend? Why are they so special?

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Speaker 2: And ultimately, as they went through the data, there were

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Speaker 2: four central factors that contributed to these kids' resilient outcomes,

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Speaker 2: But the number one outcome ultimately was that they had

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Speaker 2: one single adult in their lives who was absolutely there

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Speaker 2: for them, completely cared for them and made life safe.

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Speaker 2: So Warner's research and that of others who have done

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Speaker 2: similar studies has really underpinned this idea that our kids

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Speaker 2: to be resilient, they need to have great relationships like

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Speaker 2: resilience and happiness ultimately come down to loving relationships, full stop,

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Speaker 2: end of story. But in those communities, a lot of

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Speaker 2: the time, in these families, these kids didn't have a

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Speaker 2: parent that could be that one caring adult. They were

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Speaker 2: talking about arties and uncle, school teachers, churchly, there's sports coaches.

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Speaker 2: It was those people who were that rock for those

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Speaker 2: kids when things were tough. Now that's the first part

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Speaker 2: of my answer. The second part to your question is

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Speaker 2: why is resilience such a big deal right now? And

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Speaker 2: the answer to that is, as we look at the

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Speaker 2: data over the last several decades, we're seeing a continued

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Speaker 2: decline in well being and a continued decline in resilience

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Speaker 2: when it comes to our kids. Here in Australia as

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Speaker 2: well as overseas, we're seeing among teenagers suicidal ideation and

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Speaker 2: even suicide attempts are at some of the highest levels

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Speaker 2: that they've ever been in history, these issues are growing.

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Speaker 2: Australian data tells us that more kids are hospitalized for

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Speaker 2: attempts on their own lives now than pretty much ever before,

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Speaker 2: and this is something that's been growing over the last

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Speaker 2: decade or so. It's getting worse and worse. Fortunately, most

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Speaker 2: kids aren't successful, whereas in the United States success that

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Speaker 2: this is unfortunately quite high. I think it's because we

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Speaker 2: have different gun laws, different access to violent ways of

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Speaker 2: ending life, which is just so devastating, so sad, so tragic.

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Speaker 2: But ultimately, the resilience conversation is that the fore right now,

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Speaker 2: because we've got this confluence of factors. We're coming out

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Speaker 2: of the COVID pandemic with all of these lockdowns and

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Speaker 2: all of these draconian measures, and we've got now good

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Speaker 2: reports that are highlighting that the governments may have overstepped

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Speaker 2: a little bit with some of what they did. Obviously

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Speaker 2: they were doing the best that they could with what

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Speaker 2: they knew, but data is suggesting that it wasn't the

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Speaker 2: best thing. But it's had a huge impact on our kids.

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Speaker 2: You couple the COVID pandemic, lockdowns and restrictions with the

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Speaker 2: increasing use of screens and parents being busier and families,

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Speaker 2: not literally, I mean the data is their families are

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Speaker 2: not as strong as they used to be. Kids need

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Speaker 2: strong families. You bring all these factors together and more

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Speaker 2: pressure on schooling and academics and kids are struggling under

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Speaker 2: the weight of an anxiety is at record levels, depressions

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Speaker 2: at record levels, and like I said, much more drastic

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Speaker 2: and concerning things as well are at very very high levels.

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Speaker 2: And so that's why we're putting on this summer there's

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Speaker 2: Resilient Raising Resilient Kids Summer, because we need to make

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Speaker 2: sure that kids are okay.

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Speaker 3: Well, you've got an awesome lineup the professionals in their

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Speaker 3: fields to share with parents.

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Speaker 2: Really smart, experienced people.

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Speaker 3: Who's on your list?

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Speaker 2: Okay number one Maggie Dent. Everybody, I mean, anyone who

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Speaker 2: has ever read anything about parenting in Australia loves to

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Speaker 2: hear from Maggie. And she's going to be talking about

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Speaker 2: ten resilience building blocks. She's a dynamo when she talks

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Speaker 2: about this topic and everybody's going to be stoked to

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Speaker 2: hear what she has. I just know it. I know

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Speaker 2: it's going to be a great conversation because it always

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Speaker 2: is with Maggie. Somebody else that I've got coming in

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Speaker 2: that a lot of people might not have heard of.

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Speaker 2: But this guy knows his stuff like no one else.

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Speaker 2: There's a guy based out of Harvard Medical School. His

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Speaker 2: name is doctor Robert Brooks. Bobok has literally written the

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Speaker 2: book about resilience. He's from Harvard, for goodness sakes, and

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Speaker 2: he knows his stuff. Also literally the nicest guy you

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Speaker 2: might ever listen to, a talk to or meet. He's

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Speaker 2: just such a great guy. And Bob, doctor Robert Brooks

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Speaker 2: from Harvard is going to be joining us to talk

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Speaker 2: about resilience and everything that the Harvard researchers over the

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Speaker 2: last ten decades have discovered over the last one hundred

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Speaker 2: years about resilience. I'm so excited for that. You might

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Speaker 2: have heard of doctor Laura Markham. She has a website

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Speaker 2: called AHA Parenting and she's all over Facebook. She does

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Speaker 2: such a beautiful job. She's going to be talking about

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Speaker 2: calm parents, happy kids. Laura Markham is just I don't

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Speaker 2: know how to say it other than she's just a delight.

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Speaker 2: She's so wise, she's so compassionate and gentle and good

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Speaker 2: and her ideas, I know are going to make a

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Speaker 2: big difference. I mean, these are three enormously influential, powerful

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Speaker 2: people to talk about this straight away. Next up, I've

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Speaker 2: got Alfie Kohne, who's been on our podcast a number

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Speaker 2: of times. Alfie has written so many books, and he's

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Speaker 2: always polarizing, he's always provocative, he's always got these ideas,

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Speaker 2: and we've been talking ahead of time about what he's

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Speaker 2: going to discuss in this summit, and it's going to

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Speaker 2: shake people in really thought provoking positive ways, getting this

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Speaker 2: to think about what resilience really is and whether we're

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Speaker 2: even going about building resilience, raising resilience the right way health.

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Speaker 2: He's just he's awesome.

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Speaker 3: So he's such an intellectual, but he's just so captivating. Yes,

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Speaker 3: when I listen to him, I'm just he draws me

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Speaker 3: in in spite of his academic nature. Yeah, he really,

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Speaker 3: because because his thoughts are so pulverizing.

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Speaker 2: Polarizing, polarizing, polar evocative, provocative, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: For sure, and they really make me think.

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Speaker 1: So.

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Speaker 2: Maggie Dent, Robert Brooks, Laura Markham, Healthy Kohne, and a

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Speaker 2: New York Times bestselling author, Jessica Lay. She wrote a

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Speaker 2: book called The Gift of Failure. I mean, what a

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Speaker 2: perfect book, What a perfect conversation to have when we're

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Speaker 2: talking about raising resilient kids.

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Speaker 3: Is that it?

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, there's more. There's actually quite a

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Speaker 2: bit more. So there'll be ten. There'll be ten speakers

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Speaker 2: in total, including me. Okay, So we've also got a

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Speaker 2: guy who, in the early two thousands was voted as

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Speaker 2: Australians Australian's Comedian of the Year. His name is Marty Wilson.

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Speaker 2: He's a friend of mine from here on the Sunshine Coast.

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Speaker 2: Funny guy.

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Speaker 3: But okay, so hang on a sec. You've got all

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Speaker 3: these heavy hitters and now you've got Marty Wilson. What's

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Speaker 3: he bringing to the Okay?

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Speaker 2: So, can you think of any career that you could

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Speaker 2: choose that could be harder and require more resilience than

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Speaker 2: being a stand up comedian? No, I'm serious, Like, this

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Speaker 2: guy has got resilience lessons up the wazoo, whatever the

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Speaker 2: wazoo is. My dad used to say that. I don't

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Speaker 2: know why. I just said that he's got Like, this

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Speaker 2: guy's got resilient stories. Because you cannot be a stand

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Speaker 2: up comedian and not be resilient. Like when you stand

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Speaker 2: up in front of an audience and you tell a

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Speaker 2: joke and at bombs, It's like.

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Speaker 3: We have a stand up comedian and our.

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Speaker 2: We have several. We have several. Are you talking about

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Speaker 2: me or somebody else?

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Speaker 3: No, the eight year old who's dying to be a

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Speaker 3: stand up comedian?

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Speaker 2: Who else have we got? Thanks for asking, Kylie. We've

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Speaker 2: got a guy called James Anderson. He's been on the

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Speaker 2: podcast a couple of times. Really bright guy, super intelligent.

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Speaker 2: He talks about growth mindsets and the idea of resilience

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Speaker 2: around growth mindsets in ways that I think even Carol

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Speaker 2: Dweck would be jealous of. Really smart, really switched on.

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Speaker 2: And he's going to be talking about resilience in learning

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Speaker 2: what he calls the gift of learnership, the skill of learning,

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Speaker 2: and how some kids are like, oh god, do it,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to do it and they shy away.

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Speaker 2: He's going to be talking about what we can do

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Speaker 2: to move kids towards learning rather than away from it

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Speaker 2: when it's hard. So that's going to be a great conversation.

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Speaker 2: We've got Yasmin London talking about kids and screens. Yasmin

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Speaker 2: runs an organization called why Safe and is just fabulous

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Speaker 2: on this and resilience and screens like these are two

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Speaker 2: topics that go hand in hand. And last, but not least,

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Speaker 2: Michael McQueen. Michael McQueen is literally one of Australia's most

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Speaker 2: in demand keynote speakers. The guy I'm good friends with

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Speaker 2: him and I follow him on Facebook and he literally

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Speaker 2: is in different states for different talks on the same day,

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Speaker 2: sometimes overseas and in Australia on the same day. He

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Speaker 2: gives keynotes galore, and he has very generously agreed to

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Speaker 2: spend some time with me talking about post COVID kids

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Speaker 2: because he's I guess you'd call him a futurist, and

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Speaker 2: I want to talk to him about the future of

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Speaker 2: well being, the future of resilience, the future of education,

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Speaker 2: the future of what our kids, what are our kids'

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Speaker 2: lives is going to be like based on what the

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Speaker 2: trends are saying. So, I mean, rock solid, the best

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Speaker 2: summit we've ever put on. And I know there's a

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Speaker 2: whole lot of advertorial here for people who are listening

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Speaker 2: to the podcast, but I've already given a really big

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Speaker 2: take home at the start with the conversation about Emmy

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Speaker 2: wooner and one carrying adult. But you can see why

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited about this summit. It's going to be

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Speaker 2: so good, and we're going to do something really different,

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Speaker 2: something we've never done before with one of our summits.

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Speaker 2: We know that people don't actually want to stop everything,

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Speaker 2: drop everything, and give up an entire day so they

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Speaker 2: can sit in front of a screen and listen to

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Speaker 2: ten talks, and so we're going to give you the

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Speaker 2: facility to watch it where, when and how you want.

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Speaker 2: In fact, we're going to get it behind a podcast

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Speaker 2: paywall as well, so that if you buy the summit,

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Speaker 2: you don't even have to watch it at all. You

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Speaker 2: can just download it and listen to each of the conversations.

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Speaker 3: Now you're talking my language on.

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Speaker 2: Podcasts because a lot of people, look, who's really got

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Speaker 2: time to sit in front of the screen. We're also

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Speaker 2: going to do highlights reels, so if you don't want

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Speaker 2: to watch the whole thing, you'll be able to just

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Speaker 2: watch the here's the ten or fifteen minute highlight of

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Speaker 2: the forty five to fifty minutes. Yeah, or or of

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Speaker 2: course you can watch it live. You have access to

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Speaker 2: it for however long because we don't want you to

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Speaker 2: have to watch it on the day. So this is

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Speaker 2: really a summit to meet the needs of time poor

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Speaker 2: parents who want answers in ways that work for them.

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Speaker 2: I'm super excited about it.

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Speaker 3: So if we get to the nitty gritty of things, yes,

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Speaker 3: how do I get involved? How do I?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So, all the details are at Happy Families dot

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Speaker 2: com dot au or at our Facebook page dot Justin

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Speaker 2: Colson's Happy Families. The summit is normally one hundred and

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Speaker 2: ninety nine dollars, but the early bird special is one

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Speaker 2: hundred and forty nine bucks. One hundred and forty nine dollars.

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Speaker 2: You've got about another week to take advantage of that.

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Speaker 3: So if I am doing the mass right, are you

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Speaker 3: telling me that to sit and listen to each one

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Speaker 3: of these ten people is pretty much on the early.

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Speaker 2: Bird it's about fifteen bucks ahead dollars. Yeah, at all.

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Speaker 2: It's insanely cheap, but that's because this matters so much.

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Speaker 2: Like we have bills to pay, and obviously Happy Families

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Speaker 2: ultimately has to be a commercially run thing so that

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Speaker 2: we can pay our staff and so that we can

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Speaker 2: but we invest into what we're doing, and we give

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Speaker 2: it a way as cheap as we can, because we

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Speaker 2: want people to get access to this.

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Speaker 3: Where else can I go and listen to this person

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Speaker 3: these people, No.

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Speaker 2: No, you can't fifteen dollars. You can't even listen to

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Speaker 2: them for one hundred and fifty dollars And each of

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Speaker 2: them is basically fifteen bucks. Obviously you can't buy the

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Speaker 2: one at a time, by the whole summit. By the way,

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Speaker 2: if you're a Happy Family's member, you get twenty percent off,

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Speaker 2: twenty percent off the full price, and twenty percent off

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Speaker 2: the early bird. So there's so much value. It's such

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Speaker 2: a great summit, the Raising Resilient Kid's Summit. It's happening really,

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Speaker 2: really soon, the thirtieth, the thirtieth of this month. Early

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Speaker 2: Bird finishes next Thursday, the twenty third, one week out

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Speaker 2: from the summit.

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Speaker 3: So if I'm not a Happy Family's member.

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00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,159
Speaker 2: Jump onto Happy families dot com dot you become a member.

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00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 2: It's like eighteen bucks a month, and I mean you're

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00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 2: gonna save twenty percent straight up. Get you just get

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Speaker 2: so much value out of it. Plus you get the

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Speaker 2: ongoing support, the ongoing monthly support as we do our

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Speaker 2: best to help you make your family, happier, raising resilient kids.

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Speaker 2: The Summit. Please join us for it. It's on the

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Speaker 2: thirtieth of March. All the details at our Facebook page

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Speaker 2: doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families or happy families dot com,

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Speaker 2: dot a