1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: I learned this trick after I had my first son, Huckabye, 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: and it was because I was always telling myself that 3 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,880 Speaker 1: I had to do things. So I'd say, Oh, Huckerby 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 1: is crying. I have to go pick him up. I'm 5 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 1: sounding like a really bad mum. I promise, I promise. 6 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,119 Speaker 1: I'm not oh. I'd say, oh, I have to go 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 1: clean his room, or I have to prepare his food, 8 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: or I have to wash his clothes. And when you 9 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: tell yourself that you have to do things, it's really 10 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: easy for you to resent them and for them to 11 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,160 Speaker 1: feel like it's an obligation and something that you don't 12 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: actually want to do. So then I started saying, I 13 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: get to I get to pick up Huckabye, I get 14 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: to play with Huckabye, and I get to be around 15 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: and I get to watch him as he grows up. 16 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,840 Speaker 1: And for me just changing my language subtly, it reminded 17 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 1: me that it was an opportunity, it was a choice, 18 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: and it was something that I got to be really 19 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: grateful for. 20 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 2: Welcome to How I Work, show about the tactics used 21 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 2: by the world's most successful people to get so much 22 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 2: out of their day. I'm your host doctor Amantha Imba. 23 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: I'm an organizational psychologist, the founder of behavioral science consultancy Inventium, 24 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 2: and I'm obsessed with finding ways to optimize my work. Date. 25 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 2: Before we get started with today's episode, I wanted to 26 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 2: let you know about a new podcast that I've recently 27 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: launched called How to Date. How to Date is a 28 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 2: show about how to master the messy, complex, and downright bizarre. 29 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 3: World of dating when you didn't think that it'd. 30 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 2: Be dating again in your life, which is where I'm at. 31 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 2: I'm about one year out of my marriage and I'm 32 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 2: immersed in the world of dating and with my closest girlfriend, Monique, 33 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 2: who is also. 34 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 3: About a year out of her marriage. 35 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 2: We speak to psychologists, dating coaches, professors, data crunches at Bumble, 36 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 2: and even sex workers to learn how to get better 37 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 2: at dating, on how to date your life, about how 38 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 2: to improve your chances of finding love online, how to 39 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 2: date during a pandemic, and the latest science on how 40 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 2: to attract the great mate. So, if you're key to 41 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 2: improve your odds on the dating front and get some 42 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 2: practical advice on how to get better at it, subscribe 43 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 2: to How to Date wherever you listen to podcasts. All right, 44 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 2: on to today's show. My guest today is Touria pit Now, 45 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 2: if you live in Australia, I feel like Touria needs 46 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 2: no introduction, but I will give her one anyway. So 47 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 2: Touria back in twoenty and eleven was caught in a 48 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: grass fire while competing in a one hundred k Ultra marathon. 49 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 2: And during this event she suffered full thickness burns to 50 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 2: sixty five percent of her body. 51 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,239 Speaker 3: And you'd think that. 52 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 2: Surviving would be one of her greatest achievements, but it's not, 53 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 2: because she's gone on to achieve so much more so, 54 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 2: it was one of Australia's most admired, widely recognized people. 55 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 2: Turia has gone on to become a best selling author, 56 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 2: a two time Iron Man or Iron Woman, and a humanitarian, 57 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 2: having raised well over a million dollars for not for 58 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 2: profit into class and through her online presence, her books, 59 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 2: her online programs, Turia has inspired literally millions of people 60 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 2: to live with more confidence, conquer their fears, and chase 61 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 2: down their wildest dreams. So Turia's latest project is her 62 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 2: book Happy, where she explores the question can you actually 63 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 2: get happier? In her book Turia interviews high profile athletes, comedians, scientists, 64 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 2: and world experts to explore everything from how money to 65 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: our relationships has a big impact on how happy we 66 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 2: can be. And I was lucky enough to get an 67 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 2: advanced copy of Happy In preparation for this interview, and 68 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 2: it is full of super practical tips and advice, some 69 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 2: of which we explore in this episode, but many of 70 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 2: which are in the book. 71 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 3: I highly recommend it. So in this chat, we. 72 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 2: Look at all sorts of things, from how Touria decides 73 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 2: what to say yes and what to say no, to 74 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 2: her next Tuesday rule, her various morning routines and practices. 75 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 2: We talk about how to make your phone boring and 76 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 2: some really cool hacks for improving self talk as well. 77 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 2: So on that note, let's go to Touria to hear 78 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 2: about how she works. 79 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 3: Tourria, welcome to the show. 80 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: Hello, thank you so much for having me, Amana. That's 81 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: really great to be on here, and I'm a big 82 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: fan of this podcast, so thanks so much for having me. 83 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 3: Oh gosh, it is my absolute pleasure. 84 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,919 Speaker 2: I've got so many things that I want to ask 85 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 2: you about because I read I regulatest book Happy In 86 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 2: preparation for this. And obviously I've known about you and 87 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,720 Speaker 2: your story for many years, as I imagine many listeners have. 88 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 2: And something I was really struck by in Happy is 89 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 2: ount of books that you referenced, Like, I feel like 90 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 2: you must spend your entire life reading because there are 91 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 2: so many references to books in there, And so I 92 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 2: want to ask you which books have had the biggest 93 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 2: impact on you, and perhaps with those books, like what's 94 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 2: one or two, you know really big things that you 95 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 2: took from them. 96 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, this is a really big question. So 97 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: so first of all, I just want to explain, like 98 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: how I read so many books. So I read my 99 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: books on my iPad. I use a Kindle app and 100 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 1: I really like that because mainly because you never lose 101 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: your page and you can read like multiple books at once. 102 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: And then if you go away or if you're going 103 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 1: somewhere traveling, like all of your library, your whole all 104 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,960 Speaker 1: of your books come with you with your iPad. So 105 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: I'm a big proponent of e books. I know a 106 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: lot of people aren't, but I love them, and I 107 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: will read every night in bed. It's part of how 108 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: I unwind from the day. And sometimes like I'll read 109 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: one page and I'll want to fall asleep, and then 110 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: another time I might stay up for hours and hours reading. 111 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: So which book made the biggest impact on me? I'm 112 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: nervous because like I don't really just have one book, 113 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: but name a few. Okay, my favorite book in the 114 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: world is The Map That Changed the World. So I'm 115 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: a winning engineer, so I really love rocks and geology, 116 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 1: and The Map that Changed the World is about the 117 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: first geological map that was ever created. And I read 118 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: that when I was at UNI studying mining engineering, and 119 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: I just felt when I was reading, I was like, yes, 120 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 1: I'm in the right career, like this is this is amazing. 121 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: And then I really like Tim Ferris's book Tools of Titans. 122 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 3: I really love that. 123 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: Book, I think because maybe it's because I don't have 124 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,159 Speaker 1: a very long attention span. I don't know, like fight, 125 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: Like there's just little like pity interviews from people, and 126 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: you know, you can sit down, read one or two 127 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 1: pages and walk away feeling like you learned something or 128 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: that you know a bit of value has been added 129 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 1: to your life. So I guess they're like maybe two books. 130 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: And then if I was going do you want on 131 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: fiction on non fiction fiction. 132 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 3: I'm happy with either. 133 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, for a fiction book, I I'm going to 134 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: say Harry Potter. And I know JK. Rowling has been 135 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: in a lot of strife as of late. I get that, 136 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: but I really love the Harry Potter series, and I 137 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 1: find it like whenever I'm stressed, I will reread some 138 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: of the books and I'll find it soothing. 139 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 3: That's really interesting. I like that, it's funny. 140 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 2: I find for myself, I kind of alternate between going 141 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 2: all nonfiction and then just taking a break with fiction 142 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 2: just for relaxation. So I can I can definitely relate 143 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 2: to that, and I want to ask with Tools for Titans. 144 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 3: So I read that book quite a few. 145 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 2: Years ago, and I know for me one of the 146 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 2: tips that I still used today, and I agree, it's 147 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 2: such a good book if you've got a short attention span, 148 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 2: because you can just sort of like zip in and 149 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 2: zip out. I can't remember who this piece of advice 150 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:13,239 Speaker 2: was from, but it relates to decision making, and they said, 151 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 2: if you're trying to decide whether to do something and 152 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 2: rating the opportunity out of ten, take away seven. So 153 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 2: you can't score the opportunity a seven out of ten, 154 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 2: So basically it means it's an eight out of ten 155 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,679 Speaker 2: or higher, which is like a hell, yes, I should 156 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 2: definitely do that, or it's a six out of ten 157 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 2: or less, which makes it pretty unappealing. So basically taking 158 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 2: away there sitting on the fence option. And I want 159 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 2: to know for you, are there any tips that have 160 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 2: stuck with you or that you've used from that book 161 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 2: sort of and are still using to this day. 162 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 1: I think this tip is from that book. I can't remember, though, 163 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: so I'm just going to tell you the tip. It's 164 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 1: called the next Tuesday rule. So before you say yes 165 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: to something, because after we say yes to things right 166 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: because we think their age is away. So I might 167 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: say yes to do it like a speech, and maybe 168 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: I don't really want to do it, but I think, oh, 169 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: it's like in six months time whatever, It'll be fine. 170 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 1: And then when the speech is looming or impending, I'll 171 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: be like, oh my gosh, why did I say yes? 172 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 1: And you know, so I think I always ask myself like, 173 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: if this opportunity or this event was happening next Tuesday, 174 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: how would I feel about it? Would I be like, yes, 175 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: cannot wait for that to happen or would I be 176 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 1: dreading it? And that I think that rule is the 177 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: next Tuesday rule that helps me with my decision making 178 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,719 Speaker 1: because it's hard, right, especially like you know, I mean 179 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: that you seem to be like a total go getter. 180 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: I'm sure you get asked to do things all of 181 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 1: the time, and a lot of them probably sound really 182 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: really exciting, so I'm sure you want to say yes 183 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: to a lot of them, or most of them. But 184 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,719 Speaker 1: I think when we say yes to too many things, well, 185 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: I know for me anyway, I end up being really 186 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: shitty and resentful and not having any time left over 187 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: to go for a run or to spend with my 188 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: family and things like that. So that's the rule I use, 189 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: the next Tuesday rule. 190 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 2: Yes, I use the exact same rule, and I find 191 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 2: whenever I don't use it, I am feeling. 192 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 3: Really pissed off about what I have to do. 193 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,439 Speaker 2: And generally it is some kind of a speaking engagement 194 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 2: that I said yes to, maybe as a favor or 195 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 2: because I thought, oh, it'll be fine six months into 196 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 2: the future because I won't be as busy as I 197 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,319 Speaker 2: am right now, But obviously that is nonsensical. 198 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,119 Speaker 3: I do actually want to ask you because. 199 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 2: I imagine you must get so many requests for your time, 200 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 2: you know, particularly because of your profile, And I want 201 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 2: to know how do you decide whether to say yes 202 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 2: to an opportunity or no to an opportunity? Like is 203 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 2: it purely the next Tuesday rule or are there other 204 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,839 Speaker 2: things that factor into your decision making? And how you 205 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 2: how you kind of frame those decisions. 206 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess there's a couple of different things. Like 207 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,679 Speaker 1: if it's something that I'm not interested in at all, 208 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 1: it's pretty easy to say no, Like if it's taking 209 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: my third cousin's dog for a word, you know, I'm like, no, 210 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: I don't want to do it, no thanks. But then like, 211 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,080 Speaker 1: if it's an opportunity that is kind of interesting and 212 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 1: you're thinking might be into it, it is harder to 213 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: say no. It is harder to think like, oh, this 214 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: could be an amazing opportunity for me, I might meet 215 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,599 Speaker 1: a lot of cool people. I might you know, I 216 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: might do this, I might do that. But I think 217 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: for me having kids, it really has made me. I 218 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: want to say I'm more selfish with my time, but 219 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: I don't like that word because it implies that I'm 220 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: not a generous person, and I think I am. I 221 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,680 Speaker 1: think having kids has made me more efficient with my 222 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: time and every hour that I spend not with my kids, 223 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: I want those hours to be maximized. I want it. 224 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,959 Speaker 1: I want them to be you know, writing a really 225 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: great book that a lot of people can read, or 226 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:56,680 Speaker 1: creating really great content for people on Instagram, or you know, 227 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: doing something really worthy. Because for me, if I'm doing 228 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: a speech that I said yes to that I go there, 229 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 1: I don't really want to be there, and all I'm 230 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: thinking about is my kids at home, I get really 231 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: shitty and really pissed off. And that's not really fair 232 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: on the organizers either, like they probably don't want a shitty, 233 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: pissed off person at their event either. Before I had kids, 234 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: I guess I had more time, and now I don't 235 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,439 Speaker 1: want to say more time either, because that's I think 236 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,319 Speaker 1: that's unfair for people who don't have kids, because I 237 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: think we all have twenty four hours in a day. 238 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: I'm just going to go with I'm more efficient with 239 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,680 Speaker 1: my time now that I have kids, and I'm definitely 240 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: more selective about what I say yes to. 241 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can definitely understand that, and I know in 242 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,839 Speaker 2: your book Happy, you wrote about how to say no, 243 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,280 Speaker 2: and I'm pretty sure it was in the book because 244 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 2: I also read a bunch of your blog posts, so 245 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 2: it's either in the book or a blog post. I'd 246 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 2: love you to take me through how do you say no? 247 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 2: Because I think that it's something that a lot of 248 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 2: people struggle with, and I think that a lot of 249 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 2: women struggle with it as well. And I love the 250 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 2: productivity piece of advice that saying no is basically the 251 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 2: ultimate productivity tip. 252 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 3: So talk me through how how you say no? 253 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess, like I always imagine that you know everything, 254 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: there's an opportunity cost to everything. So if you say 255 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: yes to if I say yes to walking my cousin's 256 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: my third cousin's dog, then maybe on that Saturday, my 257 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 1: kids will want to go for a surf, and guess what, 258 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 1: I can't take them for a surf because I'm walking 259 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: my cousin's dog and you know, you know, I don't 260 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: really like walking dogs. So I always remind myself of that, 261 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: like everything I say yes to that means that I'm 262 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 1: saying no to something else. But I also think, like 263 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,680 Speaker 1: research has shown that when you say no and you 264 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,960 Speaker 1: give a reason, which is crazy. But if you say 265 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 1: no and you give a reason for saying no, then 266 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 1: the person you're saying no to is more okay with 267 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: it than if you didn't give a reason. So I 268 00:13:55,360 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 1: find that that research like hard to understand, but when 269 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: you practice it. If you say no, I can't because 270 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,559 Speaker 1: I'm taking my son to a softball game, well no, 271 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,560 Speaker 1: I can't because I've got to go straight after work 272 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 1: to go try on my wedding dress or whatever. If 273 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: you provide a reason that it is easier for the 274 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,600 Speaker 1: person who're providing the reason too to understand it. And 275 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: I also think we're saying no, it's really tricky, but 276 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: it's really important not to lie. I'm sure most of 277 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 1: the us I've been frung it out, like saying, oh, no, 278 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: I've got to stay back at work and then maybe 279 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,960 Speaker 1: you might run into the person at the park with 280 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 1: your kids or whatever it is. So I think rather 281 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: than lying when you say no, you can soften it 282 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 1: a little bit. You can say, look, i've been working 283 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: really hard. I promise myself that I wouldn't commit to 284 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 1: anything else until I've rested and restored my energy. 285 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a nice one to be reminded of I 286 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 2: feel like I'm we're saying no. I find that I'm 287 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,600 Speaker 2: good at saying a quick no, which I think is 288 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 2: like a friend yes, yeah, a firm no, and a 289 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 2: quick no, and I'll always give a reason. And I've 290 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 2: also just to make saying no more efficient because I'm 291 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 2: saying no multiple times a day, as I'm sure you are, 292 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 2: is that I have a templated email for the different 293 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 2: kinds of no that I have to say that generally applies, 294 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 2: and if it doesn't apply, I'll obviously personalize it. But 295 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 2: you know, even like I'll get a lot of pictures, 296 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 2: sometimes several a day for guests on the podcast, and 297 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 2: I just found I was taking so much time replying 298 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 2: to all these people because that's another one of my rules. 299 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 2: I will always take the time to reply because they 300 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 2: have taken the time to reach out, and. 301 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:37,040 Speaker 1: Oh, you're crazy, you know, I never used to. 302 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 2: And I had Nigel marsh on the show and he 303 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 2: couldn't believe that I was being so rude as to 304 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 2: not reply to everyone, and I thought, yeah, that that 305 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 2: is kind of rude, Like if they as long as 306 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 2: they haven't misspelled my name or like obviously you know, 307 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 2: haven't done their research. I generally won't give them the 308 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 2: time of a response. But everyone that has sort of, 309 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 2: you know, done a bit of research and taken the 310 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 2: time to and me a semi personalized. 311 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 3: Email, I will actually reply. So I know it's crazy. 312 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 1: That is very lovely of you. Now you hate it though, 313 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 1: when you get like that, they've obviously like copied and 314 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: pasted the email and they're like, they're like, hi, Veronica, 315 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: And I was like, well, obviously I'm not going to 316 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: be writing back to this one. 317 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 3: Undred percent. 318 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 1: Now. 319 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 2: Something you write about in Happy is your gratitude practice, 320 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 2: And I'm wondering, can you can you take take listeners 321 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,360 Speaker 2: through step by step what that looks like? 322 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 3: Because I found it really interesting. I think a lot 323 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 3: of people write about. 324 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: Gratitude, but I really liked how you thought about your 325 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 2: own practice. 326 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess, And I guess like when when I 327 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: suggest to people to start practicing gratitude, they kind of 328 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 1: do like a bit of an eye roll, and it's 329 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: like yeah, as if that's going to work or But 330 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 1: for me, I found it to be like, out of 331 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: everything I've learned over the past decade, I honestly think 332 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: that just spending one minute every morning, thinking about what 333 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:07,479 Speaker 1: you are genuinely grateful for is like the easiest and 334 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:12,439 Speaker 1: quickest way to like magically transform your day. And I 335 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: know for me, whenever I practice gratitude, I start my 336 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: day obviously feeling grateful, but it also helps me to 337 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 1: be happier and it helps to for me to build 338 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: a more resilient and a more positive mindset. So how 339 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:29,640 Speaker 1: I practice gratitude, Like, I'm not you know, sitting around 340 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: in a yogurt pros, bathing in crystal light or anything, 341 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: but I just think of three things that I'm genuinely 342 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: grateful for. So this morning, my partner's away at the moment, 343 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 1: but this morning I came out and I saw that 344 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: he'd done the dishes, so I was like, I was like, oh, 345 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: that's really cool, like he you know, he tied it 346 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,399 Speaker 1: up the house before he left. And then I was 347 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: playing with my two boys this morning, and I thought 348 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: that was a really cool, like grateful moment, just marveling 349 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 1: and playing together and you know, being really grateful that 350 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,200 Speaker 1: I was able to have kids and how special is 351 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: it that I get to be a mum. And I 352 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: was also grateful to my brother because he organized a 353 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: new surf forward for me. And yesterday when I went 354 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,159 Speaker 1: for a self and it was like it was like 355 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: I had it had a rocket stuck underneath it. It 356 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: was that good. So there's like three little more simple things. 357 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,920 Speaker 1: It just helps you start your day in a really grateful, 358 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,440 Speaker 1: grateful way, and like I said, it helps you. And 359 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 1: you know, for me, really the only reason I do 360 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,119 Speaker 1: it is because I found it to work. For me, 361 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 1: It's really helped me to be more resilient and have 362 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 1: more of a positive mindset. But that's not to say that, 363 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:45,199 Speaker 1: you know, having a positive mindset is always the be 364 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: all and end all, because I think you know, some 365 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 1: days we are happy and excited and motivated, and other 366 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 1: days we might be stressed and anxious and feel like shit. 367 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 1: And I think, you know, all of those emotions are 368 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: all are all really valid, and they're just emotions. 369 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,160 Speaker 2: So what do you do, like when you wake up 370 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 2: and you're just feeling a bit rubbish, Like what's your strategy? 371 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 2: Like do you just kind of go with that and go, yep, 372 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 2: today it's just not going to be the best day 373 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 2: of my life. 374 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,879 Speaker 3: Or are there things that. 375 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,919 Speaker 2: You deliberately do to kind of reverse your mood or 376 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 2: change your mindset or something like that. 377 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I think practicing gratitude is like such a 378 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: quick way to reverse your mood or to you know, 379 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 1: snap out of your mindset. And I know, you know, 380 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: when I wake up in the morning, I'm not really 381 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,959 Speaker 1: that perky. I'm kind of annoyed. H you know, my 382 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: kids might have kept me up a little bit in 383 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 1: the night, and I might be a bit tired in 384 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 1: the morning, and so I'll, you know, I'll grumpily make 385 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: my way over to the coffee machine. I'll make myself 386 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: a coffee, I'll have a sip, and then I'll start 387 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 1: thinking about what I'm grateful for. So that for me, 388 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,160 Speaker 1: that helps me to I guess, short circuit feeling negative 389 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: or feeling feeling crap. I also ask myself, like, what's 390 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: one thing I could do today that's going to make 391 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 1: today a good day? And whatever that one thing is, 392 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: whether it's like you know, going for a walk on 393 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: the beach or calling a girlfriend or you know, making 394 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 1: my kids their their favorite muffins or whatever it is, 395 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 1: I try and do it and that makes me, you know, 396 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: throughout my day, I'm looking forward to that positive event. 397 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: I'm anticipating it. So I think that helps as well. 398 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: But you know, sometimes you can try all these things 399 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: and you can try and get yourself out of it. 400 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,160 Speaker 1: You can put on pump up music, you can try 401 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 1: and you know, do exercise and practice gratitude and reframe 402 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: your mindset, and none of that will work. And I 403 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 1: think in those moments, it's okay to just say, you 404 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: know what, today's crap, that's fine, Hopefully tomorrow will be better. 405 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 1: So yeah, I guess I guess I hope that. I 406 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 1: hope that answers your question for you. I think I 407 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,159 Speaker 1: think a lot of the time, like no one really 408 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 1: likes feeling crap or sad or stressed or down because 409 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: they're not super comfortable emotions to sit with. And so 410 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 1: I guess it's really easy for us to say, oh no, 411 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: we don't want to feel like this. We want to 412 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 1: get to the good stuff where we feel happy and 413 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 1: excited about our lives and full of zest and energy. 414 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 1: But I think the more we can lean into how 415 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: we're feeling, and the more we can just hate this 416 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,920 Speaker 1: word I'm going to use it, be authentic with how 417 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 1: we're feeling, and lean into it and accept it and 418 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: acknowledge it like the fast orally quicker, those feelings will dissipate. 419 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 2: I think that's interesting, and it's also in some ways 420 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,119 Speaker 2: it's encouraging to hear from you who like you seem 421 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,600 Speaker 2: like this kind of eternally upbeat and positive and resilient 422 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,159 Speaker 2: person that you two have kind of crappy days. That 423 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 2: probably sounds awful, but I find some comfort in the fact. 424 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 3: That you are real. And I must say I love 425 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:52,399 Speaker 3: the question that you're. 426 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 2: Asking around what's one thing that would make today great? 427 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 2: Like it's such an instant way to go, okay, I'm 428 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 2: actually in control of my day as opposed to just 429 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 2: at the mercy of my mood and external events and 430 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 2: things like that. 431 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's like, again really simple thing. When 432 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 1: you do it, you'll find that your day is a 433 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: lot better and your day runs a lot through that. 434 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 1: And I think, I really think, and I guess this 435 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,199 Speaker 1: is part of what I wrote in the book. It's like, 436 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 1: if you can make sure you are grateful for each 437 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 1: day as you know, as trite as that may seem, 438 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,680 Speaker 1: but grateful for each day looking forward to some positive 439 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 1: event in your day doesn't have to be a massive 440 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: event like you know, going to the South of France 441 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,639 Speaker 1: with Jay and Beyonce. It doesn't have to be a giant, 442 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,159 Speaker 1: cataclystic event, just something simple. And for me, that seems 443 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,320 Speaker 1: like going for a run, having lunch with my partner, 444 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 1: playing with my kids. This afternoon, I'm going to run 445 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: with my prem and pick up my son from preschool. 446 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to that. And for me, that changed 447 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,400 Speaker 1: my approach. That changes my attitude to my entire day. 448 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 1: It's one more thing I do. I'm pretty purdenting about 449 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,360 Speaker 1: my morning routines, so I just just bear with me. 450 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 1: Meant that. But one thing I do in the morning 451 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: is I don't look at my phone, because I think 452 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: as soon as we pick up our phone, we're just 453 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:17,160 Speaker 1: sucked into this world of emails and messages and calendar 454 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,880 Speaker 1: in fights. And I find when I do that, all 455 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,679 Speaker 1: of a sudden, my focus is on like what everyone 456 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: else wants from me, wants from me from for the day, 457 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,360 Speaker 1: rather than me thinking about, well, it's my day, what 458 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: do I want of it? And what am I going 459 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 1: to prioritize out of it? 460 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 3: And how do you avoid checking your phone? 461 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 2: Because it's so tempting and like I've heard all sorts 462 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,119 Speaker 2: of strategies for this, from like locking it in a 463 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 2: drawer to putting it at the other side of the house. 464 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 3: Like, how how did you create that habit for yourself? 465 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess I don't have my phone in my room. 466 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: It's in the living room. And you know, I think 467 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 1: with the young kids there, that's been a real leson 468 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: for because I've got to be really present with them, 469 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 1: you know, because one of them will always need something 470 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,400 Speaker 1: from me. That sounds bad when I say they need 471 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,919 Speaker 1: something from me, I'm like, well they just then, well 472 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,199 Speaker 1: they're needy. They're like I've got a toddler and a baby, 473 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 1: Like they're just they're just needy. And so I guess 474 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: that for me helps because often I don't have like 475 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: I don't have the band with it, I don't have 476 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 1: the time with the energy to get my phone. But 477 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: like I'm not a saint. Sometimes I forget and I'll 478 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 1: go into the kitchen, I'll make my coffee and it's 479 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: like autopilot. I'll pick up my phone and I'll start 480 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,840 Speaker 1: scrolling and I have to be like no, stop reou 481 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 1: It's like first thing in the morning, put down your phone, 482 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 1: focus on being present and being present for your family. 483 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,879 Speaker 1: I don't know what do you do, Amanda? Like, do 484 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: you lock your phone in a secret cupboard that you 485 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,159 Speaker 1: need six different pos to open? 486 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 3: How did you know? 487 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 2: No? 488 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 3: I don't do that. So what I do is I 489 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 3: make sure that I don't sleep with my phone. And 490 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 3: I've got an. 491 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 2: Analogue It's not an analog alarm clock, but it's basically 492 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 2: it's a dumber alarm clock. So all it does is 493 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 2: tell the time and wake me up if I need 494 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,440 Speaker 2: to be woken up, and then I, yeah, I charge 495 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 2: my phone. 496 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 3: In the study. So it's a deliberate decision to go 497 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 3: in there. 498 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 2: But the one problem I have is that five mornings 499 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 2: a week I do a workout in my home gym. 500 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 2: The and my trainer is based in Utah, is in America, 501 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 2: and yeah, it's the best thing ever. I love my trainer, Sammy, 502 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,439 Speaker 2: and she basically writes me new programs every six weeks 503 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 2: and they go into this app and I can only 504 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,439 Speaker 2: access the app and write in my reps and. 505 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 3: Sets and so forth of my phone. 506 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 2: So it means that five mornings a week because the 507 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 2: very first thing I'll do is exercise. On those five mornings, 508 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 2: I'm seeing notifications come up on my phone. So that's 509 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,159 Speaker 2: sort of where it goes a little bit awry, but 510 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,479 Speaker 2: at least it's not the very first thing I'm checking, 511 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,560 Speaker 2: Like I'm kind of, you know, getting myself ready for 512 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 2: the day. 513 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 3: But yeah, that's what I do. 514 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 1: There was a really good article aren't somewhere on the internet. 515 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: I don't know where, but it was like to how 516 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: to make your phone really unappealing and unattractive so you're 517 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 1: not incentivized to pick it up. And part of that 518 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 1: article is things like turning off notifications, like removing the 519 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: photo background from it so it looks really boring and 520 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,639 Speaker 1: it doesn't look like a toy. So I went through 521 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,919 Speaker 1: that article. It probably took me like two hours, and 522 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 1: I literally went through it step by step and implemented 523 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 1: everything the article said to do. And I feel that 524 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: for me has worked. But it's hard with phones, right 525 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,960 Speaker 1: because you go out somewhere, like if I go down 526 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 1: to the park with my kids and I meet up 527 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,119 Speaker 1: with some other moms, Like I'm chatting with some of 528 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 1: the moms, but then some of the moms might be distracted. 529 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,239 Speaker 1: I'll pick up their phone. They might have someone calling them, 530 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,119 Speaker 1: they might need to you know, right back to a 531 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,239 Speaker 1: few messages or whatever. So I think, I don't know. 532 00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:01,360 Speaker 1: I think technology is just part of our life and 533 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 1: it's up to ask to try and figure out how 534 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:09,159 Speaker 1: to use it responsibly, maybe responsibly, try not to let 535 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 1: it dictate our lives. 536 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely of technology. 537 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 2: I know, like technology is awesome, but it's also it's 538 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 2: such an attention sucker. And I don't know if it's 539 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 2: the same article, but I know that Jake Knapp, who 540 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 2: has been on the show a couple of times, read 541 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,679 Speaker 2: an article that I think went viral, got a crazy 542 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 2: number of views and likes about how. 543 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 3: To create a distraction free iPhone from memory. 544 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,119 Speaker 1: I think that might have been the article that I read. 545 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 2: And I think deleting any app that has an infinity 546 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 2: scroll like Instagram or Facebook or news and things like 547 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 2: that is one of the best things to do. So 548 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,680 Speaker 2: certainly I have made a very boring iPhone. That was 549 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,359 Speaker 2: definitely a strategy that I implemented a while ago. So 550 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 2: it's literally like I'm not going to sit there and 551 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 2: check the weather every six minutes, like there's nothing interesting 552 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 2: going on on my phone, that's for sure, which I 553 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 2: think helps just in breaking that sort of phone addiction 554 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 2: habit that a lot of people have. 555 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,400 Speaker 1: Do you use apps like Instagram and Facebook for your 556 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: work or for like your podcast and stuff. 557 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 2: The only social media I am on is LinkedIn and Twitter, 558 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 2: and then I'm really only on it to push out 559 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 2: content as opposed to consume content. Yeah, but I wanted 560 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 2: to ask you about your social media because you are 561 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,720 Speaker 2: active on a few channels. 562 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 3: And also I love the quote. 563 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 2: That comparison is the death of joy, and you talk 564 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,920 Speaker 2: about that in Happy, So I want to know how 565 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,440 Speaker 2: how do you manage social media in your life because 566 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 2: it is a big part of you, and I guess 567 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 2: how you're managing your own brand. 568 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: I assume, yeah, and like, that's that's a really good question. 569 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: So I write a letter every week to people in 570 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: my I call them my letter gain and it's not 571 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 1: really a letter, it's an email, but I just think 572 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 1: letter sounds funner. So a lot of my effort is 573 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 1: directed into that. But then I'm I post on Instagram 574 00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 1: and Facebook maybe every other day, and I like to 575 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: respond to people's comments because I guess maybe, like, hey, 576 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 1: you respond to people who pitched to be on your show. 577 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: I like to respond to people's comments, because I think 578 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: if they're taking the time to write on my posts, 579 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 1: and probably I can take the time to respond to them. 580 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,760 Speaker 1: So I might be on Instagram for an hour all 581 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 1: at once, posting and then responding to people's comments. For me, 582 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I justify that hour because 583 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: it's part of my business and it's part of my brand, 584 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: I guess. And I'm probably not so much on Instagram 585 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,240 Speaker 1: as an Infinity scroller. I love that way. I love 586 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 1: that phrase, by the way, or like as a consumer 587 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: or yeah, I'm more on there just for business stuff. 588 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 1: But for sure it is tempting to just when you've 589 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: got three minutes waiting at the doctors, just to jump 590 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: on Instagram and do a quick scroll. So what I've 591 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 1: done is I've hidden it in the back catalog of 592 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 1: my apps. We're both really geeking out right now. I've 593 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 1: got the Kindle app on my because like wherever I am, 594 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 1: I can always read a book that I'm reading and 595 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: it sinks to my iPad. So whatever page I'm on 596 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: my iPad, it'll be on the same page of my iPhone. 597 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 1: It's like it's the best, it's the best reading ebooks. 598 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:14,080 Speaker 3: One hundred percent. 599 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,520 Speaker 2: And I think something I've picked up from a few 600 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 2: guests is that you'll turn something into a habit if 601 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 2: you can just make that behavior easy. And I think 602 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,479 Speaker 2: if you can make it easier when you pick up 603 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 2: your phone to engage in a healthy habit in inverted 604 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 2: commas of say, reading and learning as opposed to mindlessly 605 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 2: scrolling through Instagram and feeling like, you know, to be honest, 606 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 2: let's face it, a bit shit about yourself because everyone's 607 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:37,600 Speaker 2: life looks better. 608 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 3: That can only be a good thing. So I like 609 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 3: what you're describing there. 610 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 2: Something else, like you've mentioned a couple of times, is 611 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,480 Speaker 2: kind of creating things or focusing on things in terms 612 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 2: of looking forward to something. And in your book you 613 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 2: talk about small, medium and big anticipation, and I want 614 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 2: to delve into how do you do this, how do 615 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 2: you think about this, and also how do you balance 616 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,560 Speaker 2: it with being mindful and living in the moment, which 617 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 2: it feels like you're quite good at it, like from 618 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 2: what I know of you and what I've read about 619 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 2: you in preparation for the interview, because I really like 620 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 2: that you write about anticipation because I'm someone that I 621 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 2: think I spend a lot of time anticipating and looking 622 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 2: forward to things, and I always kind of well, not always, 623 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 2: but I sometimes beat myself up about that, and I'm like, no, no, no, 624 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,280 Speaker 2: just live in the moment, like, stop looking forward so much. 625 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,520 Speaker 2: So talk to me about how you think about these 626 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:29,240 Speaker 2: things and what you deliberately do around anticipation. 627 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:35,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess like I'm probably not out of gratitude 628 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 1: savoring and anticipation. I'm probably the best at gratitude. Then 629 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 1: the next breast at saving and savoring is like staying 630 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 1: in the present moment and trying to enjoy it and 631 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,360 Speaker 1: trying to relish it. So if you're adding a chocolate 632 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 1: chip cookie, for example, you might say to yourself, oh 633 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 1: my god, like, how nice is this? Contrast treading the 634 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,800 Speaker 1: buttery cooking and the the dark chocolate chips, or you know, 635 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,120 Speaker 1: you might eat it with a friend and you might 636 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 1: say to your friend, oh my god, how good is 637 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: this cookie? You're like, it's delicious, and really try and 638 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 1: try and notice the subtleties in that cookie. But I 639 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 1: also think anticipatory anticipatory joy is a really big thing, 640 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: and I guess that's part of that question I asked 641 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 1: myself in the morning like, what would make today great? 642 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:29,320 Speaker 1: Because already I'm anticipating something good in my day. And 643 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: it's hard, though, when you're anticipating things that are a 644 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 1: little bit a little bit bigger, because you do question 645 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: like does this mean I'm not being windful? Does this 646 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,800 Speaker 1: mean that I'm not living in the present moment. I 647 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 1: don't think those things are mutually exclusive. Like, I think 648 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 1: you can be savoring the present moment and also be 649 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,200 Speaker 1: looking forward to your that time in the school holidays 650 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,240 Speaker 1: where you get to go away with your family camping, 651 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: And I think you can be grateful for your life 652 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 1: as it is right now, but still set some really 653 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 1: big goals for yourself as well. So I don't think 654 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 1: they're mutually exclusive. But I guess if you wanted me 655 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 1: to like crystallize how I do it, I don't really 656 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,000 Speaker 1: have a good answer for that. I guess if I 657 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 1: feel excited about something in my future, I don't beorate 658 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 1: myself for looking too far ahead. I'm like, yeah, cool, 659 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 1: you're of course you're looking forward to going on that 660 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 1: pushwalk like it's awesome. But then I'll also try and 661 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 1: try and stay in the present moment and be grateful 662 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 1: for it. And I also remind myself like trying to 663 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 1: be in the present moment and trying to be grateful 664 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 1: for what we have and not try and think too 665 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 1: much about the future. It kind of goes against our wiring, 666 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:49,120 Speaker 1: Like we're battling with a machine that's gone through potentially 667 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,360 Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. So I think 668 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 1: if I do get too caught up in the future 669 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,480 Speaker 1: and I'm not very mindful of the present, I don't 670 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 1: beerate myself. I think, oh, well, that's perfectly natural to 671 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 1: be excited about that or to be worried about that, 672 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 1: and then try and bring it back to the present. 673 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 1: And I don't really know if that answers your question 674 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: at all. A meant they'll have to come up with 675 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,920 Speaker 1: a better question. 676 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,279 Speaker 2: No, I like that, and I think like hearing you 677 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 2: talk about it like that probably gives I feel like 678 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,840 Speaker 2: that's given me permission to maybe just be okay with 679 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,319 Speaker 2: the fact that I get quite excited about things in 680 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 2: the future, and that is a okay. 681 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,840 Speaker 3: Something that you speak. 682 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,800 Speaker 2: About and write about a lot is around self talk, 683 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,839 Speaker 2: and one of one of my favorite strategies in your 684 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,959 Speaker 2: book was around changing changing the words have to because 685 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 2: a lot of the time, negative self talk and negative 686 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 2: feelings can come from saying, Ah, I have to do this, 687 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,759 Speaker 2: I have to have a healthy dinner, I have to 688 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,240 Speaker 2: exercise today, I have to speak to this person about 689 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,719 Speaker 2: this project. Could you talk about what you like what 690 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,279 Speaker 2: you do instead how you I guess, like reframe or 691 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 2: change that self talk. 692 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,880 Speaker 1: I learned this trick after I had my first son, Hako, 693 00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 1: and it was because I was always telling myself that 694 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:07,400 Speaker 1: I had to do things. So I'd say, oh, Huckerbye 695 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,799 Speaker 1: is crying. I have to go pick him up. I'm 696 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: sounding like a really bad mum. I promise, I promise, 697 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 1: I'm not all I'd say, Oh, I have to go 698 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 1: clean his room, I have to prepare his food, I 699 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:22,280 Speaker 1: have to wash his clothes. And when you tell yourself 700 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 1: that you have to do things, it's really easy for 701 00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 1: you to resent them and for them to feel like 702 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,279 Speaker 1: it's an obligation and something that you don't actually want 703 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 1: to do. So then I started saying, I get to 704 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,919 Speaker 1: I get to pick up Huckabye, I get to play 705 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 1: with Huckabye, and I get to be around and I 706 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,920 Speaker 1: get to watch him as he grows up. And for me, 707 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 1: just changing my language subtly, it reminded me that it 708 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: was an opportunity, it was a choice, and it was 709 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,200 Speaker 1: something that I got to be really grateful for. So 710 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,560 Speaker 1: there's it's like a super easy way for us to 711 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,840 Speaker 1: change how we feel about and experience. And I remember 712 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,479 Speaker 1: at the start of it that we were talking about 713 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,839 Speaker 1: when you know, when we said yes to a speaking gig, 714 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,239 Speaker 1: and then we were really dreading it. And often I 715 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,200 Speaker 1: get really nervous before I speech because I think I 716 00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 1: get stuck, really stuck in my head, and I work 717 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 1: myself up in such a state. I think things like 718 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,200 Speaker 1: I'm going to make an idiot of myself, or maybe 719 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 1: I won't articulate what I mean really clearly, or maybe 720 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to make a goose of myself, And I 721 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 1: have to really stop and remind myself that it's not 722 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,400 Speaker 1: that I have to do a speech, but that I 723 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,800 Speaker 1: get to do a speech, Like it's a pretty awesome 724 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,160 Speaker 1: opportunity that, you know, a room full of people potentially 725 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,759 Speaker 1: want to listen to me and want to hear what 726 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,080 Speaker 1: I have to say. I don't have to do an interview. 727 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,040 Speaker 1: I get to do an interview again, Like, what an 728 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 1: awesome opportunity that people all around the world want to 729 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,319 Speaker 1: listen to me and learn from me. And so I 730 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,720 Speaker 1: guess for me, that's probably been one of the biggest 731 00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:55,640 Speaker 1: thing I've learned in maybe the past three years, is 732 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 1: just changing that my language from I have to do 733 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,840 Speaker 1: I get to I think that's a really potent reminder 734 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,200 Speaker 1: for a lot of us, especially when we're talking about 735 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:08,400 Speaker 1: things like going to work, making dinner, things that potentially 736 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,719 Speaker 1: might not light us up and might not necessarily inspire us, 737 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,600 Speaker 1: to remind ourselves that it is a choice and it 738 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,279 Speaker 1: is an opportunity that we get. 739 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I really like it. 740 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 2: And it's almost like a form of gratitude because where 741 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,400 Speaker 2: I've been applying that is that some mornings I just 742 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,680 Speaker 2: don't feel like exercising, but I'm very conscientious so I do. 743 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,239 Speaker 2: So I just force myself to do it, and I 744 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:32,080 Speaker 2: know that I'll feel better at the other end and 745 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 2: I'm getting stronger and all that sort of stuff. And 746 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:38,880 Speaker 2: I started reframing my own self talk around exercise, and 747 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 2: rather than saying, Okay, I have to do this five 748 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,759 Speaker 2: mornings a week, it's like, I get to exercise. And 749 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,879 Speaker 2: then where it really landed for me is I then 750 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,640 Speaker 2: injured myself. So I've been fighting this shoulder injury for 751 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,960 Speaker 2: about two weeks. I feel like my physio is my 752 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,759 Speaker 2: home away from home at the moment, although I'm literally 753 00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 2: kind of just back to one hundred percent at the gym. Yeah, 754 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,880 Speaker 2: now it's like I get to exercise and it's finally 755 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,280 Speaker 2: really landed for me. So I personally love that strategy. 756 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 2: I find it very helpful, and then you appreciate it 757 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 2: even more when things do go wrong and you don't 758 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,480 Speaker 2: get to do the thing that you had to do. 759 00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 2: I wanted to pick up on what you said about 760 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,680 Speaker 2: being nervous before a speech, which kind of shocked me 761 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:24,600 Speaker 2: because you must have given hundreds of speeches all over 762 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 2: the place. So firstly, are you still getting nervous before 763 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,640 Speaker 2: a speech? And also what else are you doing aside 764 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,720 Speaker 2: from your self talk to help manage your. 765 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:38,000 Speaker 1: Nerves Doing your speech in real life in front of people. 766 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:44,440 Speaker 1: I find it terrifying, Like I get really nervous and 767 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,719 Speaker 1: my mind goes a well, starts to pay tricks on me. 768 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: I think things like, oh, like if I break my leg, 769 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,919 Speaker 1: then I won't have to do this speech, or if 770 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:58,120 Speaker 1: I you know, like maybe the power will go out 771 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:00,960 Speaker 1: and then that means I, like, you know, I won't 772 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 1: be able to do this speech, and so my mind 773 00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:08,359 Speaker 1: can be pretty pretty out there like that, and so 774 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 1: I guess what I do, and it's what I've always done, 775 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,640 Speaker 1: is I try and shift my focus. And how do 776 00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,920 Speaker 1: I do that? I ask myself three questions. I ask myself, 777 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: like what could I be grateful for right now? What's 778 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 1: one small step I could take forward? Or what could 779 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 1: I do to be of service? And I think when 780 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,839 Speaker 1: I'm giving a speech publicly, or even like you know, 781 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:36,399 Speaker 1: when I'm getting interviewed now with you, Amanda, it's very 782 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,719 Speaker 1: easy to be self critical and be introspective and be 783 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,759 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I can be overly concerned with why 784 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,960 Speaker 1: I don't want to say performance because that sounds not genuine, 785 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,200 Speaker 1: but potentially like thinking, oh, maybe I should have explained 786 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,399 Speaker 1: that better to Amantha, or maybe I shouldn't have said that, 787 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,880 Speaker 1: Or when I'm speaking at live events, I might think, oh, 788 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,719 Speaker 1: you know, I really want the audience to like, you know, 789 00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:03,600 Speaker 1: I don't want them to think that I'm a fraud. 790 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,319 Speaker 1: I don't want them to think that I don't know 791 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:09,360 Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. And so what I do is 792 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: to flip that is, I remind myself that, you know, 793 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:16,120 Speaker 1: it's about what I can give to the audience, like 794 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:18,200 Speaker 1: what value I could give them or what could they 795 00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,839 Speaker 1: learn from my speech? And I remind myself that they've 796 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,600 Speaker 1: given me their most precious resource of all, like our time. 797 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,880 Speaker 1: It's so precious. And I remind myself that, you know, 798 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,360 Speaker 1: I don't have to do this speech. I get to 799 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,319 Speaker 1: do this speech. It's an amazing opportunity that, you know, 800 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 1: like I said earlier, a room full of people want 801 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 1: to listen to me talk and want to learn from me. 802 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,560 Speaker 1: And I think for me that that ability to shift 803 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,400 Speaker 1: my focus and always ask for myself, well, you're in 804 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 1: this situation, but how could you make sure that whatever 805 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,120 Speaker 1: you do, you're giving something back, or you're being of service, 806 00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,399 Speaker 1: or you're providing value to someone else. I think when 807 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,239 Speaker 1: I'm in more of that mind frame, I find that 808 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,120 Speaker 1: not only do people benefit a lot more or appreciate 809 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,480 Speaker 1: it a lot more, but it makes me feel better 810 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,960 Speaker 1: about what I'm doing as well. 811 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I can definitely relate to that. 812 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:13,359 Speaker 2: For me, I tend not to get too nervous now 813 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,400 Speaker 2: before speeches, I find, but always in the back of 814 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,640 Speaker 2: my mind, and if I am feeling nervous about an event, 815 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,160 Speaker 2: I'll be like, Okay, I just need to focus on 816 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,560 Speaker 2: how I can be the most helpful I can possibly 817 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,360 Speaker 2: be to the people that I'm talking to. 818 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,040 Speaker 3: And I think just taking that focus off yourself is. 819 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,959 Speaker 2: A really good way of overcoming nerves, or at least 820 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,000 Speaker 2: I find that in my own life. 821 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:34,480 Speaker 1: Now. 822 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:39,920 Speaker 2: Something that you write about is you write about advice 823 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,480 Speaker 2: in Happy around what to do when someone's going through 824 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:48,719 Speaker 2: a rough time and what is helpful and perhaps what 825 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,440 Speaker 2: not to do. And I find that really helpful. And 826 00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:54,960 Speaker 2: I think that there'd probably be a lot of listeners 827 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,440 Speaker 2: that either have been or are going through a rough time, 828 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,759 Speaker 2: you know, particularly for listeners that are based in Victoria 829 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,200 Speaker 2: and you know, are in various stages of lockdown, And 830 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,799 Speaker 2: can you talk about like what you know, I guess 831 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 2: your advice around what do you do someone's going through 832 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,520 Speaker 2: a rough time, because I think that often we can 833 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,239 Speaker 2: feel quite helpless in terms of what to do. 834 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like it is really hard when someone's going 835 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,240 Speaker 1: through a rough time because like we feel really awkward 836 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:24,319 Speaker 1: and we're like, oh, I don't want to say the 837 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,480 Speaker 1: wrong thing. I don't want to upset them more. I 838 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,520 Speaker 1: don't want to, you know whatever, but I always advise 839 00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,960 Speaker 1: that the main thing is to say something, and if 840 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,360 Speaker 1: you don't know what to say, you know, I was 841 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,799 Speaker 1: very kind and I gave a couple of scripts in 842 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,719 Speaker 1: the book, But you can just say something like, you know, 843 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I don't know what to say, but I 844 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 1: want you to know that I'm going to be here 845 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,000 Speaker 1: for you and I know what you're going through right 846 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,439 Speaker 1: now is really tough and really shit. So I think 847 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,239 Speaker 1: just kind of, first of all, just acknowledging it for 848 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,960 Speaker 1: the person that will be really good. And the second 849 00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:59,960 Speaker 1: thing is to try and be proactive. So when people say, oh, 850 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,239 Speaker 1: let me know if I can, if I can do 851 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,120 Speaker 1: something to help you out, that's a very genuine and 852 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:09,120 Speaker 1: a very lovely offer. But then you're putting that request 853 00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,920 Speaker 1: on the person who's going through something rough at the moment, 854 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,760 Speaker 1: and they might not necessarily be in the best mental 855 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:18,800 Speaker 1: headspace to think about what it is they actually need, 856 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,480 Speaker 1: or they might also feel awkward, you know, sending you 857 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,440 Speaker 1: a message going cool, okay, can you pick me up 858 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,919 Speaker 1: some toilet paper, make me an omelet, and go get 859 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:33,120 Speaker 1: my scoops from their doctors please. So I always tell 860 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 1: me able like, be proactive and be specific in your 861 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,440 Speaker 1: offer of help. So you can say, hey, I've made 862 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,120 Speaker 1: an extra large pot of chicken soup. I can drop 863 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,759 Speaker 1: it around the savo if you're home, cool. If not, 864 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,319 Speaker 1: I'll just leave it at the front door, thinking of you. 865 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,560 Speaker 1: Kiss kiss kiss, Or if at the shops, you can 866 00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,400 Speaker 1: just buy an extra couple of rolls of toilet paper 867 00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,160 Speaker 1: and then drop it around their house. If you don't 868 00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 1: live near them, you could send them a nice letter 869 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,680 Speaker 1: in the mail. You could send them a box of chocolates. 870 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,160 Speaker 1: That's not my Nandi, she sent me. She sent me 871 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,680 Speaker 1: a letter and a box of chocolates every week for 872 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,160 Speaker 1: a whole year. Yeah, I know, she's so lovely. So 873 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,480 Speaker 1: I then just be proactive and think of a specific 874 00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,520 Speaker 1: way that you could help them is the best bit 875 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:18,680 Speaker 1: of advice I can give. 876 00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:20,400 Speaker 3: I love that. 877 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,240 Speaker 2: And the final thing I wanted to ask you about 878 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,239 Speaker 2: is around goals and in I know that you refer 879 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:31,280 Speaker 2: to goals as champion quests, which I think is awesome. 880 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,880 Speaker 2: So can you talk to me about how do you 881 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,320 Speaker 2: set champion quests in your own life? 882 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? I think goals are really important for all of us. 883 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,480 Speaker 1: Part of what makes us happy in life is making 884 00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:48,759 Speaker 1: progress on the things that we want to make progress on. 885 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 1: And you know, that's a goal right there. And I 886 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,440 Speaker 1: think goals are awesome because they you know, they challenge us, 887 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,760 Speaker 1: they force us to grow, they stretch us, they force 888 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 1: us to become more of who we are. So goals 889 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,239 Speaker 1: are really really awesome. And like there's different types of 890 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:08,160 Speaker 1: goals that we can set for ourselves. So we could 891 00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:11,160 Speaker 1: have goals at work or within our career, you know. 892 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,160 Speaker 1: So for example, with me, I've got a really big 893 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,839 Speaker 1: goal at the moment. I've got this idea about having 894 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,600 Speaker 1: a running program from moms right So that's something that 895 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,680 Speaker 1: I'm working on at the moment. It's really exciting for 896 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,560 Speaker 1: me and I'm working on that. Before that, it was 897 00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,640 Speaker 1: the book Happy, which again I got really excited about. 898 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,799 Speaker 1: But an important thing to remember about goals is that 899 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,520 Speaker 1: we're not going to feel excited all of the time 900 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 1: when we're making our way through them. So when I 901 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,520 Speaker 1: was halfway through Happy, and I had emails and my 902 00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:44,000 Speaker 1: editors and shit all over my study, was I happy 903 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,560 Speaker 1: and overjoyed and I I was kind of stressed and 904 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:50,399 Speaker 1: cranky and resenting this idea of working on a book 905 00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:53,640 Speaker 1: about happiness. So I think goals are really good. But 906 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,719 Speaker 1: I thought there's also an important element of goals which 907 00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:00,080 Speaker 1: we don't really talk about that often, and it's goal fatigue. 908 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,560 Speaker 1: And I think often in life, when we achieve something 909 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:06,839 Speaker 1: really awesome for ourselves, whether it's writing a book or 910 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,399 Speaker 1: doing a six week challenge at our local gym, we 911 00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,480 Speaker 1: work really hard, we put in the effort, we go 912 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:18,200 Speaker 1: through the grind, we achieve it, and then we don't 913 00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,880 Speaker 1: take the time to stop and celebrate it and reflect 914 00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,759 Speaker 1: on what we've actually done, so we'll be like, cool, 915 00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:28,560 Speaker 1: that's done. What's next. So I think there's an element 916 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,879 Speaker 1: in goal, in goal attainment that we don't really talk 917 00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,600 Speaker 1: about that much, and it's relishing it and it's savoring it, 918 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,840 Speaker 1: which I talk a little bit more about in the 919 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,600 Speaker 1: first chapter of the book, but just reflecting on our 920 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:44,480 Speaker 1: achievements and being proud of ourselves and just making sure 921 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,600 Speaker 1: that we give enough time to make sure that we 922 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,439 Speaker 1: are celebrating it appropriately. 923 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,359 Speaker 3: So true, I'm so bad at doing that. 924 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,680 Speaker 2: It's nice to be reminded the importance of doing that 925 00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,960 Speaker 2: by you. Now, part of question is for people that 926 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,400 Speaker 2: want to connect with you in some way and also 927 00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,120 Speaker 2: get their hands on a copy of your latest book Happy. 928 00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,600 Speaker 2: What's the best way for people to do all of that? 929 00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,200 Speaker 1: Look, well, they can get the book Happy from their 930 00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,920 Speaker 1: bookstore or wherever books are sold. And if they want 931 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,600 Speaker 1: to connect with me, they should join my letter going. 932 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,400 Speaker 1: It's this letter that I write every single week to 933 00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:25,239 Speaker 1: I guess to my audience, and they can get that 934 00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,480 Speaker 1: by going to terrepit dot com forward slash. 935 00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 3: Letter fantastic, fantastic. 936 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,920 Speaker 2: Well, look, I've so loved chat and I loved your 937 00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:34,640 Speaker 2: book Happy. 938 00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,959 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Just been an honor to chat 939 00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:37,880 Speaker 3: to you, so thank you. 940 00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:40,600 Speaker 1: Latreine really in love with this speak with you too. Yeah, 941 00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:43,120 Speaker 1: and I really like, I genuinely love your podcast. So 942 00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,320 Speaker 1: keep doing what you're doing. It's awesome. 943 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,920 Speaker 2: I will do that is it for today's show. If 944 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,600 Speaker 2: you liked this episode, and maybe not, somebody else that 945 00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,920 Speaker 2: could get some tips for happiness in their life, why 946 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,520 Speaker 2: not share this episode with them? 947 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:01,080 Speaker 3: And if you're enjoying how I work, I would. 948 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:02,719 Speaker 2: Love it if you take just a few seconds to 949 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,320 Speaker 2: leave a star rating or a review in Apple Podcasts 950 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,759 Speaker 2: or whever you listen to this to reviews are so appreciated. 951 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:11,520 Speaker 2: I read every single one and they just bring a 952 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:13,520 Speaker 2: huge smile to my face. So thank you if you 953 00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,600 Speaker 2: have done that. So that is it for today's show 954 00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:17,719 Speaker 2: and I will see you next time.