1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me Lola Berry, author, nutritionist, 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know 3 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately 4 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:17,239 Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 2: Welcome to Fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry. Hello, and welcome 6 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 2: to the pod. 7 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: Today. We have the incredible Jules Sebastian on the episode 8 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: today and she's here talking about her new book, Tea 9 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: and Honesty, which is officially available tomorrow. In this episode, 10 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: you're gonna hear us talk a lot about stuff that's 11 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: in the book because the book really celebrates jewels journey 12 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 1: as well as people that she's interviewed on her YouTube 13 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: show Tea with Jewels. We talk about fashion styling being 14 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 1: both behind and in front of the camera. We talk 15 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: about aging, which is a topic that I really want 16 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: to pick our brains about because it's something that I 17 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: feel like I'm challenged with pretty often. 18 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 2: If I'm being honest with you. 19 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: This book is available tomorrow everywhere, so go out do 20 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: yourself a favor, grab a copy and support the incredible 21 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: Jewel Sebastian. 22 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 2: Jill Sebastian, Hello, Lola Berry. 23 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: I do this thing where I get really nervous to 24 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: interview people. That interview people is part of their living, 25 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: which is one part of what you do, one of 26 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: many parts, right, Who am I? 27 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 2: Yes, I understand that feeling. Do you get it too. 28 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:51,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm nervous about everything though. That's my state of mind, 29 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: is terrified to do anything. So I'm used to the feeling. 30 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: But I we were just saying before, You're like, I'm 31 00:01:58,560 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: going to be looking at this and I'm going to 32 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: be pressent, And I completely understand that. 33 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 2: As the interviewer, there's a million. 34 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: Things going on in your brain and you just like 35 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: you're trying to be in the moment, and of course 36 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,119 Speaker 1: you are, but you're also forward thinking and trying to 37 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,519 Speaker 1: lead the person. 38 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,679 Speaker 2: In that direction of where you want the interview to go, 39 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 2: all of those things. 40 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: But also I think my thing is I get because 41 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,239 Speaker 1: I research, I deep dive the guest. 42 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: Then I'm like, I really want. 43 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: To do Jewels justice like, and so I want to 44 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: hold as much space as I can for your story. 45 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,239 Speaker 1: And then I'm like, what if I miss something or 46 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: what if I you know, I put so much unnecessary 47 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 1: pressure on myself. 48 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 2: Okay, so take the pressure off. 49 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: Let's say it's just us in my dining room actually 50 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: right now, just having a chat. Thank you, So Jewels, 51 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,839 Speaker 1: you are are forced to be reckoned with so you've 52 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,640 Speaker 1: just well, as of tomorrow, your book is officially available, 53 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: which I have binge read. I actually bought my copy 54 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: so that you can sign it for me after. But 55 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: have a look at this highlight. Oh my gosh, I'm 56 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,399 Speaker 1: having a proper moment looking. 57 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 2: At that, because no, it's a circle big. I could 58 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 2: actually cry. I'm probably going to start crying. 59 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:14,399 Speaker 1: That's a moment because I do that to books when 60 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,679 Speaker 1: I love something I am, I reread it. 61 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 2: I have Doggy here and I'm highlight. I am that person. 62 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 2: So the fact that someone else is doing that to my. 63 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,640 Speaker 1: Book, I could actually cry. That is so what I 64 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: wrote it for. That's what it's for. Oh and I 65 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 1: read in your epilogue you wrote, you know, I hope 66 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: this is a book that you can come back to 67 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: many times. And I found myself last night being the 68 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: virgo OCD person that I am rereading the bitside highlight 69 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: and be like, oh yeah, I can't forget to Oh yeah, 70 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: I want to. 71 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 2: You're so nice, So thank you so much. 72 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: But like what we said, this is one of many things. 73 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: You're a TV presenter, fashion. 74 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 2: Stylists, mama bed two beautiful boys. 75 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: And I also met Ronnie on my way in a 76 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: very cute four legged pooch. He is the greatest dog 77 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: wife to Supstar. Like, there is so many hats that 78 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: you wear. So I guess ah, Like, I definitely want 79 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: to talk about the book, but I want to hear 80 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: like I love fashion. I used to work in fashion myself, 81 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: so I want to hear kind of like that side 82 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: of your story. So you're an Adelaide girl, kind of 83 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 1: you describe yourself in the book as like quite a 84 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: shy good girl. Where did this passion for fashion come from? Well, 85 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 1: it's interesting because yes, I do talk about myself as 86 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: being the shy good girl. And when I reread that 87 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 1: chapter four billion times, I was. 88 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,159 Speaker 2: Like, wow, I was self righteous, what a goodie two shoes. 89 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: I was like kind of annoyed with myself a little 90 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: bit at how within the lines I sort of lived 91 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: my life and I felt safe and happy there, of course, 92 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: but I'm so glad that I've broadened my horizons and 93 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 1: kind of deep dived into the big bad world and 94 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: experienced a lot more than I ever did when I 95 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 1: was younger, So I think the passion for the fashion 96 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: kicked off pretty early on for me. But it's not 97 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: in a regular kind of normal princess girly Barbie doll 98 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 1: hair brushing situation. 99 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 2: She said, you're a. 100 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: Tomboy, didn't you love like BMX with like this this? 101 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: What are they called on the sides or the like? 102 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: Not a spike, but like I've forgotten the word, not 103 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 1: as spoke, it's a it's a the thing you can 104 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 1: think someone on. 105 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 2: Is that what it is? Yes, I have fully forgotten 106 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 2: the way. 107 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: I feel like we're totally aging ourselves right now talking 108 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: about pegs. 109 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 2: Pegs. Oh, I can't forget the word pegs. 110 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,160 Speaker 1: Yes, you know, so you would more tomboyish. That's how 111 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: you describe yourself, right. I was a real tomboy, like 112 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: all my friends were boys. I did not understand what 113 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 1: girls were doing playing inside. But then I also had 114 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,279 Speaker 1: this other side of meat that was a deep thinker, 115 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: quite creative. My mom said, from the age of two, 116 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: I would sit down and color. 117 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 2: In within the lines. I wouldn't. 118 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: I just wouldn't go out of the lines. Ambidextrous, both hands, 119 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: just getting that done. I'm officially jealous. I've always wanted 120 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: to be ambidextrous. 121 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 2: It's sometimes a bit of a problem, but also. 122 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: Comes in handy on very minimal times. Like it's not 123 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: that it's not that helpful, but I'm left Mum was like, 124 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: you need to choose a hand to choose what are 125 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: you doing? You can't write with both hands, so I 126 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: chose my left hand. So I'm left handed officially, But yeah, 127 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: I was. When I would get dressed in the morning, 128 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: it was a bit of a scene for me because 129 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: I mean I drove my mother absolutely crazy with my 130 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: specific taste in tracksuit pants and. 131 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 2: Like everything had to be just so. 132 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 1: Even though it was kind of you know, like pants 133 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 1: and sneakers and socks and you know, jumpers and that 134 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: sort of thing, I was very passionate about how that 135 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: looked and how it felt and how it fitted and 136 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 1: what brand it was. Let's be honest, basic we were, 137 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 1: you know, we're very you know, middle class growing up. 138 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: I didn't you know, mom and Dad didn't have cash 139 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: to splash around on anything really, and so you know, 140 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: I would. 141 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 2: I would. 142 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 1: I would just drive my mum crazy with the adda 143 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: das three stripe. You know, the three stripe with the 144 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 1: two stripe around the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, those had 145 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: to have. But specific colors and tube sox were really 146 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,119 Speaker 1: big back then. So I would wear like three pairs 147 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: of tuob socks because if you only wore one pair 148 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: that it didn't scrunch at the. 149 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 2: Course, you've got the right scrinch. 150 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: Yes, you're taking me straight back to high school. Actually, 151 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: I went to high school where you'd wear the brother school. 152 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: So I was an all girl school, and it was 153 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: more trendy to wear the red trackies from the brother's 154 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: school than your own school trackies. So trackies for teenagers 155 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: is was definitely a thing. Wasn't it really important? So 156 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: you always love fashion? I always loved it, and I mean, 157 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: if you can call that fashion. I didn't really understand 158 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: my my very kind of blined, very specific feeling that 159 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: I had about clothes. I didn't know that that was 160 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: a thing. I thought everyone sort of felt the same way. 161 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: Where would I would be so annoyed with myself if 162 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: if I didn't get it right, if my troops it's 163 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: not right, if my hair squnchy didn't like I would 164 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: it would really kind of annoy me throughout the day, 165 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: and I knew what I wanted, I knew what I liked, 166 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: and I would never wear anything that I did wife. 167 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: Yeah and so, but I assumed everyone was the same 168 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: and everyone could like choose an outfit and put it together, 169 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: until I realized that they were not. 170 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 2: Everyone is like that. And it's a talent. Like it's 171 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 2: a creative talent. 172 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: Even when you say you chose to write with your 173 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: left hand, that's the creative side of the brain and 174 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: it makes total sense. So I you'll notice one thing 175 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: about me. I jump around timelines. 176 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 2: It's just the way I do my podcast. 177 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:01,439 Speaker 1: But I loved reading in the It's actually more when 178 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 1: you talk about mum guilt. But you got this amazing 179 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: opportunity with MTV, not necessarily just not being a styleis, 180 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: but a stylist on camera. 181 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 2: So you were the talent. 182 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 1: I actually have had an interview where you're like, I 183 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: went into the audition and I was like, I don't 184 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 1: know what you want me to do, like and You're like, 185 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be myself and tell you how I'd 186 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: restyle this cameraman. 187 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 2: Yes, pretty much. 188 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,680 Speaker 1: So, And is it true that I had someone with 189 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 1: like five weeks I'm. 190 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 2: Super young when this opportunity happened. 191 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: Yes, Hudson, my first baby five weeks old. 192 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. 193 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,839 Speaker 1: I know it's nuts. When I think back, I think 194 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: why did I? 195 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 2: Why did I do it? 196 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: Passion as well, and I get all the things I 197 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: can see why. So how did it feel going from 198 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: just talk the career a bit for a sec like 199 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 1: going from styling people and kind of like, you know, 200 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 1: making people feel really confident to go on stage or 201 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 1: on camera, to then like, oh, hang on a set, 202 00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: cameras are on me, and yes, I need to style 203 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: this person and do this job. 204 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 2: But there's a lot of great YouTube bids of style me. 205 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 2: You are on that show. I just loved that show 206 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 2: so much. It was so so much fun, and that's 207 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 2: what I love about it. 208 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: It's just it felt like I was just watching Jewels 209 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: like it felt like you. And so did you enjoy 210 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,120 Speaker 1: that process of being on camera? 211 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,719 Speaker 2: Yes? And no. 212 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 1: It's a bit of a two pronged answer because because 213 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: everything was so new and I truly I was like, 214 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: I have never done this before. I've never done TV. 215 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: I don't know how to be. I don't know what 216 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,079 Speaker 1: to do. I don't know like I'm literally learning in 217 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: the moment. So things you don't know about being on camera, 218 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 1: Like you can't turn your back, your shoulders have to 219 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: be out, You've got to be a certain way, You've 220 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,719 Speaker 1: got to say certain things. You've got to repeat certain things. 221 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 1: You've got to do the scene again. You've got to 222 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 1: semi act a little bit. When you don't get a 223 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 1: line right, You've got to remember lines, like all these things. 224 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: I had watched other people and probably by osmosis, learned 225 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: a few things just by watching. But when you are 226 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 1: doing it, it is a very different seat that you're 227 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 1: sitting in when you're you know, when you're. 228 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 2: And pressures on as well. 229 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: There's cameras and yeah, you've got a there's a lot 230 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,679 Speaker 1: of people holding you very accountable in this one moment. 231 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,319 Speaker 1: You don't want to stop up. You want to do 232 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: too many takes, like it's. 233 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 2: All of that, and I do, And I am that person. 234 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 2: I'm like you. 235 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 1: I put the pressure on myself more than anyone puts 236 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: the pressure on me. I've always been like that, and 237 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: I'm a bit of a perfect perfectionist like that. I 238 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 1: remember I'd go into MTV and I think they got 239 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: me to read the news a few times, like kind 240 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: of like as a little different thing to style me, 241 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: and I would be so angry at myself if I 242 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 1: didn't get it the first time, and that everyone's like 243 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: it's fine, like people you know do this five, six, 244 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: ten times, like whatever you need, just take your time. 245 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: But I was like I needed it all right the 246 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 1: first time, probably because I had to get home to 247 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 1: my newborn as well, and I'm always on a ticking 248 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 1: time bomb. 249 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 2: But yeah, I do. 250 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,079 Speaker 1: Put a lot of pressure on myself, which is good 251 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: and bad, I think, but it's probably also how you've 252 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: become this super mom that has a wonderful career but 253 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: also an awesome family life as well. And I love 254 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: and I've listened to you on it was am kind 255 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: of like a Mum's Mama Bears podcast, and you talked 256 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: about that feeling of the mum guilt of like having 257 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: this passion and feeling this kind of like draw to 258 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: this passion, but also like really wanting to be home 259 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 1: and not missing out on any of those kind of 260 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 1: like really new bub. 261 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 2: Kind of moments. How did you navigate that? 262 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: Not? Well, I don't think, I think, and I do 263 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 1: write about this in the book in the guilt chapter, 264 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 1: because guilt is different for everyone. People have all sorts 265 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: of types of guilt. That is my guilt was my guilt, 266 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: and I've managed to work my way through it. And 267 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because the boys are older now, 268 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,200 Speaker 1: they're in school, so right now I can be working 269 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: and feel zero guilt because they're at school, they're learning, 270 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: expanding their minds, so and that you know, it kind 271 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: of illegal for them. 272 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 2: Not to go to school, so no guilt there, Off 273 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 2: you go. So I've managed to. 274 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 1: Just jam all that I can in between school hours 275 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: as best as I can. But when they were little 276 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: and young, you don't have that option, really, and you 277 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 1: are it. You are the person that is raising that 278 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 1: person and guiding them and teaching them and keeping them alive. 279 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: And that is pressure and trying to do two things 280 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 1: at the same time. And especially and I'm not saying 281 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: this to like well with me, but our families both 282 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,839 Speaker 1: gout and as families live in Adelaide, So there was 283 00:13:55,920 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: a lot of solo time for me with the chill, 284 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: And it was at a time, weirdly where my career 285 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 1: started to take off, Like I'd been working pretty solidly 286 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: and I was working as a stylist, and I was 287 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 1: really enjoying that. But then when it flipped over to 288 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 1: being on the other side of the camera, something shifts 289 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: in your career, in life and in other people's view 290 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: and opinion of you also, and I think, oh, she 291 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 1: can do that. Let's give her another opportunity. And so 292 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: I think that's how you climb the ladder, so to speak, 293 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: is that you do one thing, someone sees you do that, 294 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 1: someone offers you another thing, and that's sort of how 295 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 1: it goes. 296 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 2: And so that was happening. 297 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: But I also had a newborn, and I was just 298 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: everything was new and learning and making mistakes and trialing 299 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: things and crying and then trying to laugh my way 300 00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: through it and just all the balls in the air 301 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 1: all at the same time, and that feeling of guilt 302 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: where you're like, no, no, you should be at home, 303 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: that's what you should be doing. Your a new mum, 304 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 1: do that. And then when I'm at you know happening 305 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 1: when I was at work, and then while I'm with 306 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: the baby, it's like you got to answer that email, 307 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 1: the phone is ringing. It's hard to be present in 308 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: both worlds at the same time. And I don't have 309 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: an answer, and I think that is what, especially when 310 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 1: I was writing this book, I'd get to the kind 311 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,440 Speaker 1: of halfway through it or get to the end of it, 312 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 1: and I think, no, still don't have an answer. I 313 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: haven't solved this problem yet. And I'm very sorry for 314 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: anyone who's reading it thinking that I'm a problem solver 315 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 1: here and you're going to like be enlightened at the 316 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: end of this and have all of the things and 317 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: the tools that you need to get through your life. 318 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 2: I don't. I am still figuring it out and I'm 319 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,479 Speaker 2: still learning along. 320 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 1: The way, which I think is great. Oh mate, I 321 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: think that's life. It's awesome. That's what I actually really 322 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: loved about the book as well, because you're like, this 323 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: is my experience, hopefully it helps you, and I'm still learning. Basically, 324 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: it's kind of like what it feels like. The premise 325 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: of it is something that I think that probably my 326 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: favorite part of the book is the comparison chapter, and 327 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: you talk about your sister in law and her having 328 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: a young bub at the exact same kind of time 329 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 1: and had some being like full of energy and running 330 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 1: around the park and like wow, like quite like boisterous 331 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: wild yeah, and versus your sister in law, it's. 332 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 2: Got like it's angel. It's like, yeah, really just literally 333 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 2: an angel. 334 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: And you talk about the comparison of the tool and 335 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 1: kind of like you caught yourself going, oh, well, what 336 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: am I doing wrong? 337 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 2: Am I failure? You know? 338 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: All those kind of like negative things. But I don't 339 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 1: have kids, but I noticed that I will compare myself 340 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 1: on social media or like my body is not as 341 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: good as that person? Or oh have they got that 342 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,320 Speaker 1: gig over me? Maybe I'm not as good? Why aren't 343 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 1: I as good? And so that's why I loved the 344 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 1: chapter so much, because even though your example was clearly 345 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 1: different to my life. 346 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: I could totally relate to it. 347 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: And there's a beautiful quote that you say at the 348 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: very beginning, is like, comparison is the thief of joy. Yes, 349 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: So can you kind of just share like a little 350 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 1: bit I've probably just said the whole time, but can 351 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: you compare a little bit about your experience with comparison? 352 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,679 Speaker 1: And you did share something in a book that I 353 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,480 Speaker 1: really want you to talk about, where you did a 354 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,880 Speaker 1: day where you just didn't exercise, where you wrote down 355 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,879 Speaker 1: all the comparisons you made about yourself. 356 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 2: Can you share a bit about that, that moment, that 357 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 2: thing you did. Wow, getting tears in my eyes going 358 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 2: back to those feelings. It's comparison is the thief of 359 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,400 Speaker 2: your It is a curse. Comparison is a curse. Yeah, 360 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:52,160 Speaker 2: And I think we all either do it currently or have. 361 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,159 Speaker 1: Done it at some point in our life. And like 362 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 1: you said, it's different for everybody. Mine is not the 363 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 1: same as yours. And I when that was happening to me, 364 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: poor mim my sister in law. Yeah, I'm like, get ready, girl, 365 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: because I'm going to be talking about this a lot. 366 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 2: But we even in. 367 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,360 Speaker 1: The moment, we talked about that, and I was like, 368 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:21,400 Speaker 1: why is India so quiet? Like why why is Hudson 369 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:22,920 Speaker 1: so loud? Why? 370 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 2: Why can't you know? 371 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,920 Speaker 1: You watched them both walk up the stairs and Hudson's 372 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 1: you know, smashed everything on the way or like fallen 373 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,919 Speaker 1: off or like laughing, and he's just like floating on 374 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: a cloud. 375 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 2: It seems just wandering up. 376 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 1: You know. I was like so baffled the whole time, 377 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: and it didn't make me love my baby any less. 378 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 1: Of course, I was just like, Wow, this kid is awesome. 379 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 1: He's like he's he's gonna be a great adult. He's 380 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,440 Speaker 1: just you know, he's the best fun and a great time. 381 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: It was never about the love. It was it was 382 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 1: just about like, what am I? 383 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:58,680 Speaker 2: How do? 384 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: How can I not be so stressed all the time 385 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: trying to parent this kid? And me and I would 386 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: talk about it, and what I figured out is that 387 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 1: a calm life doesn't necessarily mean. 388 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 2: A perfect life. 389 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,719 Speaker 1: And when I figured that out because my life, like 390 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,400 Speaker 1: everyone always says to me, you're so calm, Juels, why 391 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: you're so calm? And I am like, I don't feel that. 392 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: I don't relate to that. Like when somebody is saying 393 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,199 Speaker 1: you're calm, I understand because when I see myself, when 394 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 1: I hear myself back, and I'm like, oh, pretty chill 395 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: inside of me, and that the world that I live 396 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: in is chaos. 397 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:49,440 Speaker 2: It's complete organized chaos, and everything. 398 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,160 Speaker 1: Changes all the time, last minute, this, that, whatever. Someone 399 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 1: will just rock into the house, Like eleven pm last night, 400 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,439 Speaker 1: I'm chatting with some you know, songwriter in my kitchen 401 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: about you know what, I'm like, it's that all the time. 402 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: Every day, no day is the same. So I welcome 403 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: that and I love that and I embrace it. But 404 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: for me, I had to find the calm in the chaos. 405 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 1: And so those are the moments where when you're parenting, 406 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: you know I'm parenting a wild child as well. My 407 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 1: calm came from okay, taking it, taking a step back 408 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: and looking at the schedule and making the schedule the 409 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 1: same every day, so I would wake up same time. 410 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: Everything would be the same for my kid, no matter 411 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: who had them. You know what we're going They ate 412 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 1: at the same time, went to bed at the same time, 413 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: all of those things. Even if I was on a 414 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: tour bus with guys somewhere in the middle of like 415 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 1: Orange or whatever, Hudson's schedule remained the same. And so 416 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: that was my sanity and that is how I got 417 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 1: through it, and that was my like tick off the 418 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 1: of like, Okay, at least I'm doing that, even though 419 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: we're in the middle of nowhere and he's sleeping in 420 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: the bathroom in a portercot. 421 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 2: At least he's gotten his naps, he's gotten. 422 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: His good food, like all of those things structure, and 423 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: so the calm in the chaos was really important for 424 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: me and made me feel like I was doing a semi. 425 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 2: Good job of parenting. 426 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,239 Speaker 1: But that's what I kind of learned from me and 427 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: I's life. And not to say her life is amazing 428 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,920 Speaker 1: and beautiful and wonderful. 429 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 2: But she gets through. 430 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,679 Speaker 1: She got through her life, how she got through it, 431 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: and just because she had this angel baby, it didn't 432 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: mean her life was any easier. 433 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:39,400 Speaker 2: Totally. 434 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 1: That's I think what I figured out. Not that I 435 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: wish bad, you know, hardness on anyone ever, but that's 436 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:50,440 Speaker 1: not reality. To have a perfect child and a perfect life, 437 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,400 Speaker 1: that that's not what it's not what it means. Nobody's 438 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:57,119 Speaker 1: life is perfect. My life is not perfect, and you 439 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,920 Speaker 1: just get what you get and you don't get upset, 440 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,239 Speaker 1: like our moms always say to us. 441 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 2: And I now say to my kids, you get what 442 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 2: you get, Like that's that's my kid, do it. 443 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: And I love how you just said like, and this 444 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: is where I think bringing it back to social media 445 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: as well, Like what you see on social media is 446 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,679 Speaker 1: a highlight reel, so you can look at someone's life 447 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 1: and be like, oh wow. And I'm sure people you 448 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 1: just touched on said oh, you've got the dream life, 449 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 1: the dream husband, the dream kids, the dream career. You've 450 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,159 Speaker 1: got to be You're an author you know, you're a 451 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,200 Speaker 1: TV presenter, You've got all these amazing things. Anyone would 452 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: inspire to have one of those things. But it's nice 453 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 1: hearing that. Yeah, you know, but some days it's chaotic, 454 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 1: and I think, yes so for me as well, Like 455 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,359 Speaker 1: social media, I'm like, but that's the highlight of that 456 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 1: person's day. That's not necessarily the tricky thing they went 457 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 1: through that day. Not everybody shares that absolutely, But what 458 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,880 Speaker 1: I was really interested in was that, like you touch 459 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,639 Speaker 1: in the book on negative self talk, and I'm such 460 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 1: a person that gets in the past until I had 461 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,119 Speaker 1: a therapist one hundred percent got caught up in negative 462 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: self talk. And is that what you did? Because you 463 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,640 Speaker 1: were like, I want to kind of catch myself. I'm 464 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: going to make a list of all the negative things 465 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: I say to myself and then you read it back 466 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: to yourself that night, and you're like, and you would 467 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 1: never say that to your best mans. 468 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was very confronting for me. 469 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would highly recommend anyone who's struggling with that 470 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 1: to do that, because I throughout the day I carried 471 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: my little notebook around and anytime a thought would come 472 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 1: into my head comparing myself to someone because by nature, 473 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: like we said, I'm a shy person. Everything terrifies me. 474 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: First that that's where I start. I'm scared. I don't 475 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:38,880 Speaker 1: want to do that. I don't want to go there. 476 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,399 Speaker 1: I don't want to people to look at me like 477 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: that's my natural state. And it's so weird that this 478 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:49,640 Speaker 1: is my life and I, you know, out on it's 479 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 1: the office, and I you know, learned and learning to 480 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,479 Speaker 1: embrace it and to love it, of course, and I 481 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: do love it. So anytime I would go anywhere, my 482 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: state of mom was terrified. No one's going to like me. 483 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 1: I'm wearing the wrong thing, I'll probably you know, my 484 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,320 Speaker 1: feet are too sore, these shoes are too high. I'm 485 00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:15,359 Speaker 1: going to say something dumb. You know, people aren't going 486 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: to think I'm smart. Something's going to go all the time. 487 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,400 Speaker 2: That's how I would enter a room. I don't belong here. 488 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 1: I'm just guy's wife. Everyone is happy to see him. 489 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 1: I'm just the handbag all of them all the time, 490 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 1: all the time, all the time. And it's a terrible 491 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 1: terrible way to live. It's a terrible state of mind 492 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:45,679 Speaker 1: to enter any situation in even like school. You're like 493 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 1: when s Hudson started school, I was like, I'm not 494 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 1: going to make any friends. Now. 495 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 2: The moms are gonna. 496 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: Think I'm going to be the one wearing the weird outfit, 497 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: probably come from set with my eyelashes on. 498 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,120 Speaker 2: And they're going to love that. They're going to think 499 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 2: I'm something I'm not, you know, like all of those things. 500 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 1: And yeah, when I started to write it down and 501 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:09,679 Speaker 1: what I was saying and telling myself every day, day in, 502 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,120 Speaker 1: day out, and I was believing it. I was believing 503 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 1: that I didn't belong, that I wasn't good enough, that 504 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, you know, funny. 505 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 2: All of the things. And then I wrote. 506 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 1: It and I read it, and I was like, oh, yeah, 507 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 1: my god, exactly what was it. I don't think this 508 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:35,360 Speaker 1: about anybody. Whenever I meet someone, I'm like, she was great, yeah, 509 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: beautiful hair, funny, like I wouldn't. I wouldn't think one 510 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,399 Speaker 1: bad thing about anybody else I encountered. And then I thought, 511 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,199 Speaker 1: maybe people aren't thinking that about me. If I'm not 512 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:49,640 Speaker 1: thinking that about everyone else, everyone's too busy thinking about 513 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: their own selves. We spend so much time thinking about 514 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 1: ourself that we're not actually caring about anyone else. But 515 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: I love that you shared that because I think a 516 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 1: lot of people would relate to that negative self talk. 517 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 1: And I know, like, even if I go to an event, 518 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,359 Speaker 1: I'm a bit like, oh, I wear the right thing. 519 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,120 Speaker 1: And actually a friend of mine taught me this trick 520 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 1: about three years ago. She goes, I walk into the 521 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,200 Speaker 1: room and I say, I am a goddess and. 522 00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,400 Speaker 2: I was like, excuse me. 523 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 1: It's like I deserve to be on that media wall. 524 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: And I was like, where do you get this confidence? 525 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,919 Speaker 1: She's like, I just believe in myself and I believe it. 526 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:23,159 Speaker 1: And because I'm more your camp, I'm more and I 527 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 1: meant to be he imposter syndrome. I like still to 528 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,639 Speaker 1: this day get shaky legs anytime on a red car, 529 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,200 Speaker 1: but like I get a bit like it's the worst, right, 530 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: It's weird, But then I love it. At the end 531 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: of it, I'm like conquered this fear or something. So 532 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,320 Speaker 1: I love that you shared about the negative self talk 533 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 1: thing because and I think, like you said, that exercise 534 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 1: of kind of catching yourself out and really seeing and 535 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: being like holy mackerel, yes, and. 536 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,359 Speaker 2: To flip it and to be like exactly the opposite. 537 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,520 Speaker 2: I am a goddess. 538 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,439 Speaker 1: I believe here that person is should be happy to 539 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,920 Speaker 1: know me. Yes, all those things, and you are very 540 00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:58,960 Speaker 1: cool by the way. 541 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,399 Speaker 2: Well, oh are you. 542 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 1: There's two parts of the Fear chapter chapter that I love. 543 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,679 Speaker 1: But as as an author as well, I love that 544 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,199 Speaker 1: you wrote about writer's block because I absolutely have experienced it, 545 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,240 Speaker 1: but I've never shared with anyone that I experienced. 546 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 2: When I read that you wrote. 547 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:21,760 Speaker 1: About writer's block, I was like, I'm not alone. So 548 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: can you show a little bit about like it was 549 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: it daunting becoming an author or you like, am I 550 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 1: going to be able to do this? Were there are 551 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,159 Speaker 1: any moments where you kind of thought, oh, this is 552 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: a little bit harder than I. Oh yeah, yeah, Now 553 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,919 Speaker 1: that you know the inner workings of my mind, you 554 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,640 Speaker 1: can only imagine where. 555 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 2: I started with that. 556 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was It was literally like climbing a 557 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: mountain and then having a baby at the end of it. 558 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 2: That's what it felt like. Oh yeah, I was just like, 559 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,199 Speaker 2: why do people do this? This is so hard? I 560 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,439 Speaker 2: quit every day every day I woke up and I 561 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 2: was like, I don't want to know. I'm not going 562 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,120 Speaker 2: to I'm not going to finish this. This is it. 563 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,480 Speaker 1: I get why people write novels for ten years never finished, 564 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:07,400 Speaker 1: because that perfectionist thing kicks in. And I mean not, 565 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 1: this is not a novel. This is more of an 566 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,960 Speaker 1: offering of experience and memoir. 567 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 2: There's a bit of your guests. 568 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:21,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's stories and heartfelt kind of sharings. 569 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 2: And that is vulnerable. That is really really vulnerable. 570 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:31,160 Speaker 1: There's and so writing it was it felt very natural 571 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,320 Speaker 1: to write it because it's my story and it's my 572 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: feelings and it's things that I experienced and went through 573 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 1: and have felt and conquered or not conquered or it's 574 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 1: still in the middle of So that felt very genuine 575 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: and authentic. In the writing of it, the planning of 576 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,160 Speaker 1: the chapters and all of that, I found that quite enjoyable, 577 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 1: like the creative side of it of just like planning 578 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 1: it out and love a plan, love a love a. 579 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 2: Sprit as well. 580 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 1: I love I call it the book skeleton, and I 581 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 1: love planning out like there's my android is that chapter? 582 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: And I actually called your lovely publisher Kellie because we 583 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 1: have the same publisher, and I was like, oh, so 584 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,440 Speaker 1: for the podcast, I think I want to do a 585 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 1: section on each chapter. 586 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 2: Of the book, and she's like, how long is the 587 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,719 Speaker 2: podcast going to go? For a lower we could do it. 588 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: So I had to really like troll through and be like, 589 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: this is because it is such a beautiful structure your book. 590 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 2: And as a writer, I was like, Oh, I love 591 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 2: the feel of it. 592 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 1: It's so easy to navigat and like you said, you 593 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 1: could come back to it and go, I need to 594 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 1: read about this today. I need to understand and feel 595 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: and not feel alone with grief today. So you can 596 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 1: read that section and feel really connected, not alone. So yeah, Cudosity, 597 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: I know I've just taken you off on a tangent. 598 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: That's just part of your au thory journey, right, It 599 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 1: definitely was. It took me a while to get to 600 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 1: that because I didn't really know what I wanted to say. 601 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 1: But once I had the twelve chapters, twelve chapters, and 602 00:29:55,240 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 1: I think each of those chapters their experiences, their life experience, grief, guilt, comparison, identity, fear, kindness, 603 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: all those big kind of life moments that I believe 604 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 1: all of us, no matter who you are, where you 605 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 1: come from, where you're going, what you're doing, you've experienced 606 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 1: at least one of those at least one time in 607 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 1: your life. And like we keep saying, our story, no 608 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 1: stories are the same, Mine's not the same. 609 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:25,280 Speaker 2: Always. 610 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: We experience these feelings differently, but we all do experience it, 611 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 1: and I think, Yeah, once I got writing, I was like, oh, fear. 612 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 2: How long I got I could write the whole book 613 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 2: about that. So off I went and did that. But 614 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 2: then where my sort of. 615 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 1: Nerves kicked in was when I would send it to 616 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: the editor and then the feedback would come and I'm like. 617 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 2: Sit doesn't like it. There's so many red lights in 618 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 2: this and what is happening. That's when I feed all 619 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 2: positioned a failure. 620 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 1: I wish we spoke before that moment because I would 621 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,360 Speaker 1: have said, to you, get ready for the That's it's 622 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,400 Speaker 1: the best because it forces you to let go every 623 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 1: time you deliver us. You'll deliver a chapter and be like, 624 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 1: there you go. I know I'm going to get like 625 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,400 Speaker 1: three or four more goes at this. I've learned from 626 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: my I was the same as you with my first book. 627 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: I was like, every word needs to be perfect, every 628 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 1: punctuation needs to be perfect. And then when I realized, oh, 629 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:19,000 Speaker 1: hang on, you get a few rounds at this, because editing. 630 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,760 Speaker 2: And editor is a crap. Like I'm like, rip out 631 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 2: what you need to guys. 632 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good. They're brutal, but in the very best way. Yeah, 633 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:28,520 Speaker 1: because it's separate. 634 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, and I can't do that like that. 635 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 2: That's not your job. 636 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,280 Speaker 1: You don't know. I can write the thing, but I 637 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 1: can't just yeah, put the comra in. I don't know 638 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: about that stuff, but I think that. 639 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. The wobbly part for. 640 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 1: Me was probably when I knew it was printing. Oh 641 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: really yeah, and I was like, I can't take it back. 642 00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: That's it. Now, it's done. What's done is done. Have 643 00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: I read it enough? I've read it four billion times. 644 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: I know exactly what's in it. I don't regret anything, 645 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 1: but you know, when you when it's final. I don't 646 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 1: know what it is about a printed book versus the Internet, 647 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 1: which is for all of the like post ideas. That day, 648 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,240 Speaker 1: I will tell you something that will make you feel 649 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 1: so much better, though. 650 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 2: Go on. 651 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,000 Speaker 1: My first ever book I wrote, self published, and I 652 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 1: had a recipe in there for musli and rhubarb, and 653 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:21,720 Speaker 1: I left. 654 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 2: Out the whole part of the rhubarb recipe. 655 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: Went to print, and because it was self published I'd 656 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 1: paid for or like I couldn't fix it in a 657 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 1: reprint kind of thing. 658 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 2: And now I just make a joke about it. It's fine. 659 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,760 Speaker 1: Like if I can leave out rubub of a rhubarb recipe, 660 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: you are fine, my friend. 661 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 2: Okay, Thank Phil, I didn't write about rubab. 662 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 1: There's another bit I loved about, and I was surprised 663 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 1: about reading in the Fear chapter, He'd gone to New 664 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:50,880 Speaker 1: York to celebrate your fortieth birthday with your bestie and guy. 665 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,480 Speaker 1: But you and your bestie were hell bent on a 666 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: we're going a j LO, We're gonna have. 667 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 2: The night of our lives. 668 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 1: And then you're kind of sitting there or you're in 669 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 1: the stadium and something happens, and you described your your 670 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: internal dialogue, And as I was reading your internal dialogue, 671 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, she's having an anxiety attack. I 672 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 1: know that feeling. I know that terrifying feeling of what's 673 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,840 Speaker 1: going to happen. Obviously, it was soon after nine eleven, 674 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: and so so all the power had gone out across 675 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:24,640 Speaker 1: half of Manhattan or something hadn't it. Yeah, we were 676 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:28,480 Speaker 1: in Oh my gosh, what stadium I'm having a mental 677 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: but what's the big stadium Madison Square, Yson Square? Wow, 678 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: I really couldn't remember that. Madison Square, the giant stadium 679 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:43,560 Speaker 1: in New York City. Yet Jaylo concert beside ourselves. 680 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 2: I mean, just all of the things, the whole day 681 00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 2: getting ready, you know. 682 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, And then fourth song in Jalo is about she's 683 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 1: gone off for a costume change. Praise be to the 684 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 1: starling queen of life. I was ready for that next 685 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,960 Speaker 1: sequence number that she was as, Oh my god, I 686 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: can't even get started. And she went off for a 687 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,640 Speaker 1: costume change. And as she was coming back out, crowds 688 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 1: going wild as thousands of people, and the entire stadium 689 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: goes pitch black. Every light on stage, every light anywhere black, 690 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,800 Speaker 1: and you're jam packed in there like sardines with thousands 691 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: of other Yeah. I am halfway across the world. My 692 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,879 Speaker 1: two kids are at home with my family, guys down 693 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,800 Speaker 1: the roads eating sushi somewhere. 694 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:38,160 Speaker 2: Not that you were like anyone listening. You'll see, Jewels 695 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:42,160 Speaker 2: writes in the book Boring, why would you want to? 696 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:48,080 Speaker 1: So and so everything all the power goes out, and 697 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,760 Speaker 1: you're you just feel with like terror, like I didn't 698 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,239 Speaker 1: know what was happening. First of all, I was like, 699 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: I'm so far away from home. That's all I could 700 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 1: think was my kids. I'm like I need to get 701 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 1: to them. That's all I can think. I was just like, 702 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,240 Speaker 1: what is happening? 703 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 2: And you. 704 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:13,279 Speaker 1: Assume because you're in New York City, you I don't 705 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: know if anyone else in the building, but I assumed 706 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:16,040 Speaker 1: the worst. 707 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:20,440 Speaker 2: I just went worst case scenario immediately. That's like primal 708 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:20,799 Speaker 2: as well. 709 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:24,080 Speaker 1: Though. That's like a primal protection mechanism. Even if you 710 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 1: take it back to when you go to an event, 711 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 1: you're like, I'm not meant to be here armed ad 712 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,600 Speaker 1: at it. It's like a protection kind of thing. I think, yes, 713 00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 1: but your brain was like, Okay, there's going to be 714 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,279 Speaker 1: a bomb go off. There's going to be I just 715 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,880 Speaker 1: didn't know. I was like, this is the city that 716 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,880 Speaker 1: things happen like that. Yeah, this is it that we 717 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,319 Speaker 1: are in the city. There are thousands of people. I 718 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,759 Speaker 1: don't know what's happening, and I just was waiting for 719 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,280 Speaker 1: something bad to happen. 720 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:48,279 Speaker 2: Why am I like this long? 721 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:48,400 Speaker 1: No? 722 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:53,560 Speaker 2: And your best friend is it Sammy? Yeah? Was so calm, right, 723 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 2: she was. 724 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:58,800 Speaker 1: So calm in this moment. I was not I am 725 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 1: it is decided I did. I am not your person 726 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 1: in an emergency. 727 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:05,879 Speaker 2: I don't think I would be. I don't think I would. 728 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,080 Speaker 2: I'm looking at my boyfriend. 729 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 1: He's really calm, and I'm liked be like gold nuts. 730 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 1: But internally I was like, I've died. 731 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,359 Speaker 2: I am a dead. I'm dead, I'm a dead. We've 732 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 2: all died. 733 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,760 Speaker 1: But that's where I was at, and I was finding 734 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 1: it very hard to come back, and you kind of 735 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 1: got stuck in the stairwell and then you finally got out. 736 00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 1: Sprinted cool guys like hang on a sick and he 737 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 1: has a little Google. He's like, oh, half Manhattans. He's 738 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,000 Speaker 1: downtown literally enjoying his soush. 739 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 2: His half was not down. My half was. 740 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,239 Speaker 1: And then you get off the phone and you both 741 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,879 Speaker 1: just burst into laughter, you and your bestie. 742 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:43,680 Speaker 2: And it's like that. 743 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: I was thinking of it because as I was reading, 744 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness, I'd be feeling the 745 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,840 Speaker 1: same way, but I'd also be feeling so anxious and 746 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,680 Speaker 1: so like panned up, and then for the like the 747 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 1: fear and everything to switch to like laughter, it just 748 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,280 Speaker 1: like would have felt like such little, such a release 749 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:03,239 Speaker 1: and then you went back. 750 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,359 Speaker 2: We went two days later or something. 751 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, in all your merch and we'd already 752 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:15,280 Speaker 1: bought the T shirt when we arrived. On arrival of course, naturally, Yeah, 753 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 1: Jlo x, I guess, I guess, you know, like full nineties. 754 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,640 Speaker 2: It was the best so had our T shirts. 755 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:26,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, And so, I mean it really was a bit 756 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,480 Speaker 1: of a decision for me because I'd felt so afraid 757 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,960 Speaker 1: in that moment. I was like, I don't I don't 758 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 1: know if I want to go back into that fear 759 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,759 Speaker 1: and that moment of what if, you know, because I'd 760 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,840 Speaker 1: already gone there, and I was like, what if something 761 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 1: bad happens? And I'd already lived that experience in my 762 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,839 Speaker 1: own body and then too Yeah, so Jalo. 763 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,839 Speaker 2: Of course, of course, because she's Jlo, she was. 764 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,239 Speaker 1: Like, come everyone, tickets are back, like come to the 765 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:53,520 Speaker 1: come to the show again. You know. 766 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:55,839 Speaker 2: Obviously not her fault. 767 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 1: The power went out, So yeah, they put the show 768 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,120 Speaker 1: back on, and I was like, do we want to 769 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,759 Speaker 1: go back there? And then I was like, you know 770 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 1: what this is, this is a facy fear moment. I'm 771 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,239 Speaker 1: going nothing bad happened. It was power that like that's 772 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:11,839 Speaker 1: all it was. 773 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 2: The power went out, the pals back on, Let's go 774 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:15,439 Speaker 2: and have a good time. 775 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:20,360 Speaker 1: And we had the best time, the best time and that. 776 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,560 Speaker 1: And that night afterwards, which guy was, he went to 777 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:28,120 Speaker 1: this live music gig because in New York, I mean 778 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 1: there are just the most insanely talented people just roaming 779 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:33,840 Speaker 1: around bars. 780 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,279 Speaker 2: A five bars and yeah. 781 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,920 Speaker 1: And so he was at this this gig and it 782 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,080 Speaker 1: was a sun it was a Sunday night. I think 783 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,839 Speaker 1: I can't remember, but it must have been because in 784 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,880 Speaker 1: my mind, people have come from church and they go 785 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 1: to the bars and then then they just sing like 786 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:54,160 Speaker 1: church yeah and that, and it's you know, everyone knows 787 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 1: how to play an instrument, and I'm like, oh, I'll 788 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 1: play the drums, okay, I'll play the guitar now the 789 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,000 Speaker 1: same person and then that then they can say it's ridiculous. 790 00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,719 Speaker 2: Anyway, So we went, we went and met guy there 791 00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,000 Speaker 2: and we were just like, this is the best night ever. 792 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,160 Speaker 1: One thing about that chapter that has nothing to do 793 00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:08,839 Speaker 1: with fear at all. 794 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:09,880 Speaker 2: You really made me. 795 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,920 Speaker 1: I'm a huge New York fan, and reading the beginning 796 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: the way you describe the heartbeat of New York, I'm like, oh, 797 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 1: take me back, like oh, there's nothing like it. Such 798 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,719 Speaker 1: a wonderful city, such a wonderful seat. There were a 799 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: few like I've really geeked out on you, so there 800 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,440 Speaker 1: were so cool. 801 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:28,160 Speaker 2: I love it. 802 00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,399 Speaker 1: There are a few quotes because I love exploring fear. 803 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 1: That's why this podcast even exists. It's called fearlessly Failing. 804 00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,920 Speaker 1: And in the chapter I love that you wrote like 805 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,880 Speaker 1: if you think you can't, you won't. And then and 806 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:44,879 Speaker 1: I think this is a guest of yours on Tea 807 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,880 Speaker 1: with Jewels that said, fear either stops you or propels 808 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 1: you forward. And I love the concept of like like 809 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,799 Speaker 1: failing forward and kind of like landing and being like wow, 810 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,880 Speaker 1: And I feel like either stops you or propels you 811 00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,759 Speaker 1: put forward. That's kind of what you did with the 812 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,600 Speaker 1: j low concept. But also like that's a really cool 813 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:05,080 Speaker 1: motto for like those moments in your career where you're 814 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,960 Speaker 1: like I don't know, like imposter syndrome, I don't know 815 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:07,640 Speaker 1: if I can do this? 816 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 2: Am I good enough to do? 817 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 1: And then if you just step into that uncomfy space, yes, 818 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,440 Speaker 1: kind of catches you in a good way. 819 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 2: Would you kind of agree with that? 820 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,120 Speaker 1: I feel like that should be the new motto of 821 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,799 Speaker 1: my entire existence same I truly and I appreciate this 822 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:29,680 Speaker 1: podcast a lot because it exactly what we've been saying. 823 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:31,160 Speaker 2: It makes you feel less alone. 824 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,960 Speaker 1: And that's how your book is totally written. 825 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,360 Speaker 2: I'm Fear, and that's what I wanted for it. 826 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,920 Speaker 1: I just wanted people to be like, wherever they are 827 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:43,440 Speaker 1: and whatever they're feeling, like, oh, someone else feels this way, 828 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,120 Speaker 1: whether it's me or someone else's store over written about 829 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:46,640 Speaker 1: in the book. 830 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 2: It's very comforting to know that we're all a little 831 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:50,640 Speaker 2: bit afraid. 832 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:55,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's okay, it's okay, you know, and you're right, like, 833 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 1: sometimes it does stop you, and maybe that's for a 834 00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,479 Speaker 1: million reasons that that is good. 835 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 2: It might, you know, fear. You might not be ready 836 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,799 Speaker 2: to face fear at that present moment. 837 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,800 Speaker 1: You might not be ready to do the thing that 838 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,000 Speaker 1: that is the next step forward. And I believe it 839 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:14,200 Speaker 1: will somehow come back to you in that that that 840 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,520 Speaker 1: moment will come back to you in some form, and 841 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 1: then you might be more ready the next time to. 842 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 2: Go like that. 843 00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,360 Speaker 1: But sometimes you do have to push yourself a little 844 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,640 Speaker 1: and that is what I have learned because I lean 845 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:30,560 Speaker 1: so much on I'm shy I'm quiet, I'm reserved, I'm 846 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,759 Speaker 1: you know, don't step out of the lines, don't want 847 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 1: attention or all of that. I leaned very heavily on that, 848 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:41,759 Speaker 1: and so when opportunities were presented to me or by 849 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:45,840 Speaker 1: sheer force of nature of being, you know, dating someone 850 00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:50,600 Speaker 1: who became really famous really fast, that that was out 851 00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 1: of my control and kind of nerve wracking because I 852 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,319 Speaker 1: was like, I'm not ready for this. 853 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,399 Speaker 2: I don't why is everyone paying attention to us? 854 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:03,440 Speaker 1: You know, And so that those are the those are 855 00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:04,800 Speaker 1: the most where I was like, Okay, I got to 856 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 1: step into this. I've got to step forward or else 857 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to get left behind in my own existence. 858 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,320 Speaker 1: And look where it's for you, Like, look at everything 859 00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:17,400 Speaker 1: you've achieved. There's something. I actually watched an interview of you, 860 00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'm so glad she's talking 861 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:25,080 Speaker 1: about this. I'm thirty five. So for the last probably 862 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,080 Speaker 1: two years, I've started to kind of like grapple with 863 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,839 Speaker 1: age and the concept of aging and being like, oh 864 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,879 Speaker 1: and I study acting as well. So they say after 865 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,880 Speaker 1: thirty eight, you'll only be cast as a mom. And 866 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:36,319 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I've missed the boat 867 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,040 Speaker 1: oh my god, Oh my god, and it gets really 868 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,680 Speaker 1: like confronting and in acting school, I'm ten years older 869 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 1: than all the other students that are there. And so 870 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 1: I watched you do an interview and you talk about 871 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:50,960 Speaker 1: the privilege of being able to age, and I was like, oh, 872 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:55,120 Speaker 1: that's the first time I can like even spun my 873 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,880 Speaker 1: perception to it being such a gift. 874 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:03,120 Speaker 2: It's a gift. Yeah, love it. Oh, give me some 875 00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:04,040 Speaker 2: of that serum. 876 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,879 Speaker 1: No, I understand your position where you're like in an 877 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,319 Speaker 1: age of youth and or a career that you know 878 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,960 Speaker 1: youth is on your side. That is tricky and hard, 879 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,080 Speaker 1: but not impossible. I just think it's impossible. Like, look 880 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,040 Speaker 1: at all the older beautiful women actresses that are just 881 00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:26,319 Speaker 1: absolutely killing it. We were just talking before this with 882 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,080 Speaker 1: your one full manager, Jen, and we were like, we 883 00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:35,719 Speaker 1: were talking about Kate Blanchet, Weaver, Queens, Coueens, what that 884 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:41,000 Speaker 1: Aussie's Nicole Kidman. But I just watched that undoing all my. 885 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:47,040 Speaker 2: Just talking about binging it. I have to binge this, right, 886 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,800 Speaker 2: Isn't that amazing? Okay? 887 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,239 Speaker 1: So third episode, so Guy puts it on. I think 888 00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:52,560 Speaker 1: because he's working with Keith Urban. 889 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,680 Speaker 2: He was like, oh you know, like, yeah, she is 890 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,520 Speaker 2: my friend, yea support my friends. Yeah. 891 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,000 Speaker 1: So he put it on and i'd heard about it, 892 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,560 Speaker 1: but I had never watched it. And he put it 893 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,960 Speaker 1: on and it was probably it was like nine pm 894 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,600 Speaker 1: when he put it on. Watch an episode, watch another episode, 895 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,640 Speaker 1: finish the whole thing, the whole thing. But third episode. 896 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,320 Speaker 1: I was so terrified because I was busting for the toilet, 897 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:20,160 Speaker 1: but I did. I couldn't go alone. I love that 898 00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,160 Speaker 1: feeling though, I've just being so in something that you 899 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,680 Speaker 1: can't turn it off. No, I was scared, Lola, like 900 00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 1: I thought someone was going to come and grab me 901 00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:32,160 Speaker 1: off from behind the walls. It's full suspense through last. 902 00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:38,319 Speaker 1: So he had to walk me to the toilet. He's like, 903 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,920 Speaker 1: this is a first. I was like, wait there, you 904 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,600 Speaker 1: need to wait, don't don't go. 905 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,560 Speaker 2: Back to your chair. Amazing. 906 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:50,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, so that happened anyway. He's like, I can't wait 907 00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:51,399 Speaker 1: to tell Keith this and I was like. 908 00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,360 Speaker 2: Don't tell him no. 909 00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:57,000 Speaker 1: And we were talking about aging and how and in 910 00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,600 Speaker 1: there in the interview you talked about it You're in 911 00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,400 Speaker 1: a place of contentment and being like, this is actually 912 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:08,920 Speaker 1: a really cool thing to be able and like I 913 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,960 Speaker 1: do think times are changing as well as like careers 914 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,719 Speaker 1: in media and as actors as well. It used to 915 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,720 Speaker 1: be like a young person's game, and now we want 916 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 1: we want to be able to relate, so we want 917 00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,920 Speaker 1: to see all different kinds of people at all different 918 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,720 Speaker 1: stages of their their life. And I had an acting 919 00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:31,400 Speaker 1: class with dead beliefiness. So Hugh Jackman's wife and somebody said, oh, 920 00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 1: aging as an actor, Like, I'm really concerned. 921 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,759 Speaker 2: She's like, oh, what a boring topic. Good on her. 922 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:41,160 Speaker 2: I love her so much she is, well, yeah, she's 923 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:45,520 Speaker 2: an oracle. Totally. She's an oracle, as are you, my friend? 924 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:52,400 Speaker 1: Well, I am an aging person, that's for sure. No. Sorry, 925 00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:56,400 Speaker 1: I think age is a privilege, like I said in 926 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,680 Speaker 1: another interview, like you just told me. And I think 927 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:04,600 Speaker 1: there is something so cool about knowing stuff you don't 928 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,120 Speaker 1: know when you're ten years younger. Yes, there is that 929 00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:14,120 Speaker 1: experience that you do not get unless you have lived years. Totally, 930 00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,640 Speaker 1: you don't get it until you've done it, and that 931 00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:19,120 Speaker 1: self belief stuff, and like actually liking who you are 932 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,000 Speaker 1: when you walk into a room. I think that all 933 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:25,080 Speaker 1: comes from Hey, I'm an okay human. Yes, that's a 934 00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,440 Speaker 1: good feeling this has gone so so fast. I have 935 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,880 Speaker 1: to say one more quote that I loved in your book. 936 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,879 Speaker 1: I'm going to let them do their thing and I'm 937 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:37,399 Speaker 1: going to go about my time. I'm good one, Lalla, 938 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to I'm going to let them do their 939 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,799 Speaker 1: thing and I'm going to go about doing mine. And 940 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,240 Speaker 1: then I've always been the girl that's like staying your lane, 941 00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:48,400 Speaker 1: and I love that. I think as well, working media 942 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,759 Speaker 1: in Australia, it's a reasonably small pool, and like you 943 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,960 Speaker 1: and I've run into each other at events and whatnot, 944 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:55,960 Speaker 1: and it's really nice to kind of like dip your 945 00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:59,200 Speaker 1: toe and enjoy them. But then I like this concept 946 00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,320 Speaker 1: of staying in your line when it comes to career, 947 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,799 Speaker 1: when it comes to family life, everything is that something 948 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,920 Speaker 1: you kind of live by. I've gotten better at that. 949 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 1: I was actually thinking about this in the shower, I 950 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,320 Speaker 1: because I always talk about staying your lane, and I 951 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,680 Speaker 1: think about our team and gen Zer, our manager, and 952 00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:21,480 Speaker 1: I think about the girl. 953 00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:22,880 Speaker 2: We're an all girl. 954 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:27,000 Speaker 1: Team except for guy, the poor thing. And I think 955 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,280 Speaker 1: about all of us and what we bring and what 956 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:35,040 Speaker 1: value we bring to this machine that we run on 957 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:38,920 Speaker 1: a day to day basis. Everyone is good at something 958 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:42,200 Speaker 1: that the other person might not be good at. So 959 00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:46,400 Speaker 1: when I look at that, I just think when everyone 960 00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:49,359 Speaker 1: is running in their lane and being good at what 961 00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:53,280 Speaker 1: they do and not coming into someone else's you know whatever, 962 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:58,880 Speaker 1: it is so well oiled and so successful and brilliant, 963 00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,640 Speaker 1: and it's just like you have to tap in to 964 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: what your value is in any circumstance, in any situation, 965 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:11,960 Speaker 1: and what you bring, your essence, your thing, and do it, 966 00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,440 Speaker 1: do it well, and don't try. 967 00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,600 Speaker 2: And be something you're not. Like how many times. 968 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:23,279 Speaker 1: I am so aware of the things I'm not good at. 969 00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,960 Speaker 1: I'm so aware not good at it, don't want to 970 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,400 Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, just let someone else do that. 971 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,640 Speaker 2: Like when I started cooking on Instagram, I was like, 972 00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 2: I am not good at cooking. 973 00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:39,759 Speaker 1: I'm not your Insta cooking videos and cocktails and that 974 00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:43,919 Speaker 1: Christmas wreath. Oh man, I just addictively watch it in bed. 975 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,800 Speaker 1: My boyfriends like, what are you watching? I'm like, Jewel's 976 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,440 Speaker 1: got another recipe up. It's so addictive to watch. I 977 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,080 Speaker 1: think it is because you are the every person doing 978 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,879 Speaker 1: this thing, and so therefore I'm like, oh I could. 979 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,880 Speaker 1: I know I've got cookbooks, but I'm not a natural 980 00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,200 Speaker 1: chef and so like to see you do it. 981 00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:00,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I could. 982 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:01,880 Speaker 1: Go out and get those ingredients. I could pop down 983 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,239 Speaker 1: at the supermarket. No probs, like it makes it so attainable. Yes, 984 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:08,360 Speaker 1: but if I tried to be like m Lola Berry 985 00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:15,359 Speaker 1: on Instagram doing the healthy, wholesome, like beautiful things, people 986 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:18,240 Speaker 1: would be like, what do I want a toblerone cocktail? 987 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:21,400 Speaker 2: Thanks? I mean you should see the cocktail that's about 988 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:21,839 Speaker 2: to come. 989 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:26,280 Speaker 1: It is not gloriously full of all of the bad stuff. 990 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:30,480 Speaker 1: But yes, stay in your lane, do what you're good at, 991 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:31,920 Speaker 1: don't do the things you're not good at. 992 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,280 Speaker 2: It's actually quite. 993 00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:37,960 Speaker 1: Easy, so simple. Jull Sebastian, total honor. I like I said, 994 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:41,000 Speaker 1: I've highlighted, I've got notes, I've reread parts of this 995 00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:42,839 Speaker 1: book and it's I'm going to get you to sign 996 00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,120 Speaker 1: it after as well. For me, you are going to 997 00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:47,120 Speaker 1: do a little bit of touring around Australia with the 998 00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,600 Speaker 1: book as well, so I'll tell people to look out. 999 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,960 Speaker 2: I'll do a little bit of promoting as well. 1000 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,240 Speaker 1: So that because I want everybody to get a chance 1001 00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,040 Speaker 1: to see you, and I hope you come to Byron 1002 00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,600 Speaker 1: Bay because that's where I live now, can you invite 1003 00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,880 Speaker 1: me your Byron? 1004 00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,960 Speaker 2: I see, I've already got anxiety. I don't fit in there. 1005 00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:07,719 Speaker 1: I don't have the right I don't have the right 1006 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:11,719 Speaker 1: calf ten. I don't really like having bare feet. It's 1007 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,960 Speaker 1: just a lot, the amount of bare feet people there 1008 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,399 Speaker 1: where we have not my Matt. Matt will be lined 1009 00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:19,680 Speaker 1: up at a cafe and it's all pebbly, and that 1010 00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,880 Speaker 1: will be instagramming people with their feet saying this is crazy. 1011 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,280 Speaker 2: Can't get his I can't. I have a shoe person, 1012 00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,280 Speaker 2: same same, Okay, good, that's good. Do you live in Byron, 1013 00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,400 Speaker 2: you can do a shop, totally have shoes. 1014 00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:36,680 Speaker 1: To everybody listening, This incredible walkteen Honesty by Jules Sebastian 1015 00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:41,200 Speaker 1: is officially available at all Good bookstores everywhere you can 1016 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:42,600 Speaker 1: get it. I'm sure it's going to be at like 1017 00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:46,680 Speaker 1: the Mines, the David Jones, the Targets, the dim everything tomorrow. 1018 00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,839 Speaker 1: So run out, get your hands on this bad boy. 1019 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,279 Speaker 1: It's incredible and can you please sign it for me? 1020 00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,319 Speaker 1: Of course, Lola, thank you so much for having me 1021 00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:00,279 Speaker 1: and for really diving into the book. That means it 1022 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,040 Speaker 1: truly means so much to me it really does. 1023 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:04,600 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. It was a joy. 1024 00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:08,000 Speaker 1: It's a page turner. Yeah, I loved it and I 1025 00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,160 Speaker 1: can't wait to see what's next from you, including that 1026 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:17,360 Speaker 1: naughty cocktail that's coming back. That's a wrap on another 1027 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:22,960 Speaker 1: episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always, thank you to our guests, 1028 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:28,759 Speaker 1: and let's continue the conversation on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollaberry. 1029 00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:33,600 Speaker 1: This potty my word for podcast is available on all 1030 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:37,560 Speaker 1: streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate 1031 00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,479 Speaker 1: and comment and of course spread the love.