WEBVTT - UNPACKED REALITY - AUSTRALIAN SURVIVOR - ELIMINATION CHAT 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:01.760 It's in the news today, but it was actually on 0:00:01.800 --> 0:00:03.960 TV Reload, the podcast last Keep that by. 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:07.120 Hey guys, welcome back to TV Reload. Thank you for 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:10.159 clicking and downloading. On today's episode with Scott, who was 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:13.480 the first contestant to voluntarily leave Astrain and Survivor on 0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:16.360 Network ten, I will be talking about his time in 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:19.360 Samoa and of course what he thinks now that the 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:22.400 smoke has well and truly been snuffed out on his torch. 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:26.240 Australian Survivor Titans Versus Rebels is a showdown that pits 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:29.000 the winners against the underdogs and the big wigs against 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:31.800 the battlers, with each player competing for the grand prize 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:35.360 of half a million dollars. Scott is a creative director 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:37.920 at Mona in Tasmania. In his game of Survivor, he 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:42.040 dominated the Rebels faction alongside his longtime ally Kirby. Scott 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:45.240 enjoyed a smooth run throughout the tribal phase of the game. 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:48.519 Shortly after the merge, however, Scott was forced to confront 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:51.680 the emotional turmoil of the game. Unable to bear the 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:54.960 toll of his hectic environment around him, he opted to 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:57.760 quit the show. Scott will talk about his decision to 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.440 quit and give us some insights into how we coped 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:02.760 after the show and what he thinks of the vetting 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:06.119 process on getting into Australian Survivor. We will talk about 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.679 his connection with Kitty and how much of that played 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:11.720 into his decision to leave. Scott will unpack how we 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.720 rationalize leaving the Tribal Council and if there was two 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:18.800 unfair on winner with his immunity idol being wasted. Plus, 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:20.840 we will get a great story on Raymond and how 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:24.640 he collected some significant items and suggested Scott make a 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:27.560 hidden immunity idol out of it. There is actually so 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:30.399 much to unpack with Scott, and he's super open to 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:33.160 having a conversation about his decision to leave this show 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:35.360 and the realities of what it was like to be 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.000 on Australian Survivor. So sit back and relax as we 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:40.840 dive just that little bit deeper into the world of 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:44.200 Australian Survivor. How are you Scott here? All right? 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:46.840 I'm good, thank you. Feeling a lot better now than 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:47.720 I was last night. 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:50.320 Yeah, of course, of course. Jo. What I also think 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:53.600 is quite amazing is that we're here and you're looking 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:56.320 so happy. You look great, and we're celebrating your time 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:57.280 an Australian survivor. 0:01:57.640 --> 0:01:59.560 Yeah, I'm so glad we are. I was a bit 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:02.160 worried about how it was all gonna come out, you know, 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:05.080 like you get so anxious waiting for your episode and 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:06.640 you never know how it's going to come out. Right, 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:08.480 you're seeing it for the first time too, you're just 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:10.440 like everyone else sat on the couch. So for me 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:13.519 last night was a bit of a sort of a worry. 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:16.080 But seeing it last night I was fine. I was like, Okay, 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:18.160 do you know what they've done this so well? They've 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.920 somehow made two challenges, merge and me having somewhat of 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:24.840 a breakdown work into an episode of television. 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:27.800 I think it's good. It's actually really great television at 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:29.320 the end of the day. And I think it was 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:31.440 handled all really well. This could have been a bit 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:33.240 of a dog's breakfast, to be honest with you, but 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:35.120 it seemed like there were some people behind the scenes 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:36.760 that really knew how to handle the situation. 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.400 I agree, and that, honestly, I felt that when I 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:41.120 was out there too. You felt that on the ground 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:43.080 from the whole side of things you don't see on 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:43.400 the TV. 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:43.680 Right. 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.400 The crew, they're amazing, and I felt like I had 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.640 them backing me up the whole time and were just 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:51.320 there for me, and I was heard and I felt safe, 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:53.360 and it was kind of like no decision was the 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.440 wrong decision, you know, it was very much like, how 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:58.680 do you want to do this? Because we're here to 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:00.160 just kind of help you. 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:03.239 That my take them from watching last night with you, though, 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.560 is I think that, you know, sometimes they can be 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:09.520 pain behind a beautiful smile watching even this. I rewatched 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.600 the episode this morning after I'd seen the result. I 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:13.360 want to go back and watch it again. And I 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:16.360 did notice you smiling a lot through that episode. Is 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:19.280 that something that you know you do as a coping mechanism, 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:22.680 to like just to smile through situations where you might 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:23.960 feel a little bit uncomfortable. 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:25.880 Yeah, I think I do, and I think I have 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.240 learned a bit of that watching the show. You know, 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:30.480 I'm such a smiling person. I'm always happy, and I'm 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:33.440 always kind of like, I just have a sunny disposition. 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.600 That's how I am. But then sometimes definitely in my 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:40.440 awkwardness or in my anxiety, I'll smile or I'll like 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:43.880 be giggling or laughing my way through something when actually 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:46.520 I'm probably not feeling that way at all. 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.760 So even for me on self reflection of watching and 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:51.560 the show, I think about how much of a people 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:54.600 please I am, and so I project an emotion that 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.680 I think people want from me, where that isn't always 0:03:57.680 --> 0:03:58.960 the way that I feel inside. 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:01.040 Yeah, I get that, and I have had a lot 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:03.080 of people say the same thing to me after last night, 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:05.640 and that's been so it's overwhelming because it's lovely to 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:07.560 hear all of this support, but then at the same time, 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:09.520 you can't help but feel like, oh, my gosh, there's 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:12.080 so many people going through similar things out there, and 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.080 you feel for each one of them, and you're like, oh, 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:17.960 it's kind of like really shocking to suddenly be made 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:21.120 very aware of just how big a thing this is, 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:23.599 you know, and it's affecting so many people. And I 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.400 think even something like what you just said, I feel 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.080 like just trying to present a certain way or look 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:31.560 a certain way it can take such a toll on you, 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:34.560 and watching yourself on reality TV that's such a huge 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:37.760 confrontation and such a weird way of seeing that manifest 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:40.719 I hate normally seeing photos of myself or you know, 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:42.479 I'm not that sort of person that's jumping in front 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:43.000 of a camera. 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:46.200 So suddenly seeing yourself after a month of living on 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:48.120 a beach not at your best. 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:51.280 Well, you didn't start off like the metist of blokes either, 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:53.400 Like when you turned up on the show, I was like, 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:56.000 he's a very thin man, so like I didn't have 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:58.320 much to lose, no waight to lose, my friend, there 0:04:58.360 --> 0:04:58.760 was nothing. 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:01.719 I think I lost about five and a half kilos 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:04.800 or five feelers by the time I left, which is 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:06.719 huge because, like I said, I didn't go in there 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:08.880 putting weight on, thinking Okay, now I've got It's not 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.159 like alone, where I think people go in there thinking 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:13.599 of that sort of side of survival. They're more thinking, 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:16.080 you know, how do I think about Survivor and watch 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:18.279 the show on each pair for the different advantages and 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:19.839 the different things that are coming to hit me. 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.160 I've spoken to many people over the years from doing 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:25.080 this show, and that's always the common stories that people have. 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:27.360 Were always so shocked by the conditions. 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.960 You know, yeah, like and you think it's going to 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:31.359 be fine, You're like, it's just going to be like 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:34.000 camping and it's going to be all right, but then 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.279 when you get there and you know you're suddenly made 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:40.440 just the sleep and the food altogether, like those two 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:43.240 playing at each other are just so hard because normally 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:45.400 it's one or the other, it's not both. And then 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:49.560 an unfamiliar space and then the actual outdoors and you know, 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:52.560 without a tart, that made things ten times worse because 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:54.719 you can just see those clouds coming in and you're like, 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.600 oh no, I Saen's rain, and then all of a sudden, 0:05:57.720 --> 0:05:59.640 surely enough it's pouring down. 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.359 And then there's a tsunami. It was just a different 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:05.359 story altogether. How are you feeling about the decision to 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:08.880 leave the show today, Because one thing that's very different 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.039 is the feeling whilst during it to then having some 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:15.400 time and space between the experience and now, and then 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.039 also then watching the show back. This must be a 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:21.120 very interesting headspace to be And now when you're thinking 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:22.840 about that decision to leave. 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.920 This whole week leading up to it's been pretty difficult 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.920 because I feel like I've been reliving it in some ways, 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:31.840 like I've been super anxious and I get ticks as 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.320 well when I'm feeling sort of on edge, and I 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:36.520 was really worried that was going to manifest out there too, 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:38.560 and everyone's going to be like, what's he doing? His 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.520 jaws going or his fingers are working over time, but 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.279 that's actually played more out of the game, and I 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:47.400 think last night it was sort of really stressful to watch, 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:49.080 but at the same time it was like this huge 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:52.560 breath of release. I think can been like, Okay, it's 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:55.240 out of the way, and you know, I'm still me 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:58.560 and I'm still standing by that decision. This tiny part 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.920 of you. It can't help feel like, oh, I wish 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.640 I could have just pushed through or you know, stuck 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.599 in there for another day. But then my partner rightly 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:08.720 reminded me that would have just been like a band 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:11.080 aid on the scenario. That wouldn't have been fixing it, 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.440 and you wouldn't have woken up tomorrow feeling any sort 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.720 of different. You might have been smiling and feeling like, oh, 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:17.920 today's sunny and we can get through this, and I'm 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:19.680 feeling a bit more positive. But then who knows what 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.840 would have happened a week later. And I was also 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:26.480 very conscious that jury was coming up, and I thought, oh, 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.160 how is this gonna imagine if I'd been feeling this 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:31.560 way but stuck in jerry Villa. So I still I 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:34.040 would have been lose, lose because you've not won the 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.560 game and you're still having to process all of that. 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:38.480 But then you're also not with your loved ones or 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:41.360 your family and still have none of those coping mechanisms 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:44.119 back home. So I think that would have been even worse. 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:46.520 So I think really looking back on it, it was a 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:48.920 blessing that I did it at that moment, I think so. 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:50.880 I mean, I think it was a really powerful moment 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:53.680 of television for you to reflect on your mental health 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:56.760 and take control of the situation. I think there's something 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.840 very vital in that that viewers of this show got to. 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.200 It's a reminder that we do need to take control 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.920 of the situation sometimes and put ourselves first. 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:09.040 Yeah, I think so too. Even something like that where 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:11.160 you're in the middle of something that you've dreamt about 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:13.560 for so long, Like I know for other people that 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:16.200 can be like a dream job, or you know, they 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:19.720 might be somewhere that they've dreamt of being, but sometimes 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.600 something can just pop up, like with mental health. Right, 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:25.680 I was just saying before that it had been well 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:27.680 over a year since I'd had sort of a moment 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:30.080 like that in my normal life, and I was feeling 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:32.720 really good going for the show, and obviously you just 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:34.800 don't know when something like that's going to be triggered 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.560 or hit you, and of all times, it's just really 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:40.559 bad timing that it hit me in the middle of Survivor, 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.439 which is something I've dreamt of doing and one hundred 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:45.440 percent would do again in the heartbeat, like it was 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.000 the best adventure. And I don't see it as a 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:51.360 Survivor making that happen and having that effect on me. 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:53.680 I think that would have happened regardless. That could have 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:55.959 happened had I've been at home just doing my day 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:58.480 to day job, I might have still had that moment, 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:01.440 and that dip knows what could have happened, And I 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:03.680 think there's so many what ifs, and I'm trying just 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.040 my best to focus on making the decision that I 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.280 made right instead of wondering whether it was the right decision. 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:11.920 I'm pretty sure that someone who pulled themselves out of 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:14.480 Master Chef for a very similar reason went on to 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:17.079 win the show, and I think there's something really powerful 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:19.520 in that. For people because look, I mean it's not 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:23.200 something i'd openly talk about that often, but for four 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:25.920 years I had a mental health issue after my father 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:28.920 had passed away, and it took a really long time 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:31.920 for me to realize that. You know, during that time, 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:33.760 I felt like this was going to be forever. I 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:35.600 thought I was always going to be depressed and I 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:37.640 was never going to get out of it. And when 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:39.280 I got out of it, I was able to look 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:41.600 back and offer information to other people that you're not 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:44.440 always going to feel like this. But because that happened 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:46.440 to me at that time doesn't mean I should stop 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:49.120 putting myself forward in life. And I think, you really, 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:52.520 that's something really important to discuss with people in these 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.800 situations because, as you'd know, when you're at that confluence 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.320 inside your own mind, you think, oh, I know, I 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:00.800 can't say no to this because then people will treat 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:04.000 me a certain way forever, and that isn't the case totally. 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:07.280 Like, yeah, I agree completely, And I think, you know, 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.079 for people watching that moment last night, I feel so 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:12.800 proud and so lucky that I got to have that 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.840 moment on my favorite show. Like how I being able 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:19.880 to have that moment on Survivor Australia is insane. Like 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:22.559 I've watched Survivor my whole life, and obviously in the 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.200 US there's been so many seasons now they've had so 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:28.200 many different moments that no one expected or could see coming, 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:30.920 Whereas we're still kind of in our infancy over here, 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:34.280 like it's only season nine and that someone had to 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:36.559 be the first, right, this had to happen at some point, 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:39.280 And it's a bit scary when it's you and you're 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:41.240 a bit worried about how are people going to react 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:43.480 to this? Like I said before, people have been so 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:48.760 overwhelmingly supportive, and it's triggered so many people in getting 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:51.840 back into the art and getting creative and connecting with 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:53.760 that side of themselves too. And if I can just 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:56.880 do that for one person, like that's the job done. 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.559 Like I wanted to be representation on Survivor. I thought 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:01.520 I'd go on there and hopefully be a bit of 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:04.840 queer representation and sort of not the typical type of 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:08.200 queer representation you see on TV. And instead it. 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:10.440 Wor and you still did that two things could be 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:12.640 true at the same time. I still think I think 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:14.520 it was really I loved your story and when I 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.679 heard about you doing this show, and because like, oh, 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:18.880 I love this, so I've got there's a queer person 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:22.280 on this show who's a creative, and you've got to 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:24.280 be all of those things on this show. And it 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:27.560 also reminded me of all my creative friends who how 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:30.079 fragile they can be as well, because of the line 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:33.440 that they walk with their art. It can be you know, 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:36.400 it can be hard, it can be very fragile. 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:38.120 Because it's the thing that it sort of it makes 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:40.160 you fragile, right, But as a creative, it's also the 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:43.040 thing that gives you such good inspiration. And sometimes when 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:45.680 I'm in those darker periods, that just translates in my 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:48.679 writing and in my work. And it's so hard because 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:51.199 you don't want to numb that. You don't want to 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:53.360 ever feel like you're just on a very sort of 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:56.200 happy plateau. You want to feel those ups and downs. 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:58.600 And I love having those ups and downs. It's just 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:01.440 when you combine those with a reality TV show, who 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:03.840 knows what's going to happen, it's kind of that powder 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:07.880 cake moment. And luckily, I think it translated well last night, 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:10.360 and I'm so thankful that the tribal went the way 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.360 it did, and that everyone was so there for me 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.040 and shared some of their experiences too. I mean, we 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:18.520 only got to see a snippet, but honestly, so many 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.120 people on that beach were going through their own journey 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.040 and their own battle and to see other, like the 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:28.320 typical strong guys out there having that moment of vulnerability too, 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:32.240 that's huge. Like even me, that caught me off guard 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:34.520 last night watching that on TV, I was like, oh wow, 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:36.680 this is such a beautiful moment. 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:38.400 I mean, I want to ask you this question with 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.360 a bit of sensitivity, but it is something that everyone 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:42.640 was talking about after last night, and that is what 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:44.720 do you think about the vetting process when it comes 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.240 to someone like yourself, someone wanting to go on a 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:50.720 show like this, but then also maybe having that sensitivity. 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:52.760 Do you think that there needs to be more things 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.800 in place? Because I want to lead by giving my 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:59.440 opinion of this. I believe that you should be able 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:01.640 to do this show because you don't know what's going 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:03.560 to happen. I think it's still a space and a 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.640 place that is safe for people like us who might 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:09.719 be a little bit emotionally sensitive and have mental health isho. 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:11.440 I still think we have a place there. 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:12.160 But totally agree. 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.560 The conversation kept coming back to should there be a 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:15.640 better vetting process? 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:18.920 You know, yeah, I don't think so. Honestly, the vetting 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:22.880 process was amazing and the show psychologist, he's such a 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:26.439 wonderful human being and so intelligent and knows what he's doing. 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:29.200 And we went through all of this before the show. 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:31.840 People are, you know, questioning how this wasn't caught, and 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:34.320 I'm like, it's not something to be caught or to 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.640 be found out. It's not some dirty secret, you know. 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.720 I was upfront about all of this, as I think 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.920 a few contestants going on the show were and have 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.360 been in the past. I think you'd be surprised probably 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:46.760 at how many past contestants have had their own sort 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:49.440 of issues going onto the show and been terrified of 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.800 that translating on the show. And you've probably never even 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.440 noticed it or seen it. And I think me being there, 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.560 you know, you don't pro athletes go to the Olympics. 0:13:57.559 --> 0:14:00.520 They don't think about whether they're gonna fall or like 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:03.760 hurt themselves, like they're just going. But that can still happen, 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.760 like anything can happen to anyone out there, and I 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:10.079 don't see it as being any different me leaving the 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.880 way I did last night to me potentially being blindsided 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.880 the episode after, you know, like someone had to go 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.800 last night, And it's not like I took anyone's spot 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:23.960 or I intentionally messed up anyone's game. The moment on 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:25.800 the beach where I was kind of giving away some 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.240 of the game to Kitty, I was still playing at 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.480 that point. I didn't know I was going to be 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:34.440 throwing myself out that night or removing myself from the game. 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:36.960 I still felt a certain way about the game and 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:39.000 felt like I need to stand up and say my piece, 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:41.760 because up until that point, you know, i'd been hand 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:44.360 in hand with Kirby and everything she thought I thought, 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:47.360 and luckily I hadn't needed to sort of stand out 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.520 or say anything. I was just very lucky that our 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:53.320 games aligned perfectly. And then the first time that sort 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:55.960 of didn't align was last night. And as you saw, 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.120 I'm not the sort of person that's scared to speak 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:00.760 my mind when I don't sort of believe something's right 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.360 or believe in something, and that was just the first 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:04.240 time I needed to. 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.880 Well, I thought that your relationship with Kitty was really 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.720 interesting because you really connected with her quite quickly. I 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.440 wanted to ask you what really happened on the beach 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.440 with that conversation with her. Was there a longer conversation 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:18.120 or was there a way in which you both had 0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.840 found that friendship that was bonded so tightly. 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.160 Yeah, there was the whole night previous. I mean, you 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.920 don't spend much time sleeping out there, to be honest. 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:28.800 A lot of the time you're just kind of sat 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.440 waiting for the sun to start showing its head and 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:33.280 just kind of then you get excited because it's getting 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:35.520 light again. And the night before, obviously it was the 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:39.560 first night sleeping back on the Rebel's beach, and it's 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:41.560 very confronting when you go back to a beach and 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.320 you don't really have a place and you don't have 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:45.960 a bed and sounds so silly because it's a bed 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:48.040 or it's a space to sleep, but out there that's 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:50.160 a huge thing to you. That's pretty much all you've 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:53.800 got that in your second outfit track trying to keep 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.720 it dry. You kind of learned to like live for 0:15:56.760 --> 0:16:00.400 those things. And Kiddy and Eden basically sat and me 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.880 between them that night and said, this is where you're sleeping, 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.280 You're warm, you're safe, And they were telling me stories 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.720 all night, and they're both so funny. They both have 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.200 such wicked senses of humor, and when they're playing off 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.400 each other, I was giggling all night. And Kiddy's got 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:16.640 this naughty sense of humor and some of her stories 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:19.880 are just incredible. And so I'd had this beautiful night 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.360 feeling like such an out of the game moment and 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.240 then suddenly being thrust back into the game and was 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:27.360 obviously seeing a lot more going on as well, and 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:31.160 seeing that maybe what Kirby felt was going on maybe 0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.160 wasn't what she thought was going on, in that Valeria 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:35.680 wasn't as much just a number for her as she thought, 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:37.840 and that she was playing her own game, as is 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:40.840 everyone out there, and there's people you haven't really had 0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:43.200 a conversation with at all, and you don't get much 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.560 of a warm from And so when I was hearing 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:48.520 that Kitty is the name being thrown, I was like, well, 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:51.600 this makes no sense. She's someone who should be here 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:53.960 and it deserves a crack at merge. She's such a 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:57.320 strong female personality and character out there and I didn't 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.000 want that to be the vote at Merge. That was 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:01.680 if I was staying, and that was the way we 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.439 were going forward. So that's where I felt like I 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:05.320 had to say my piece. 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:07.080 Well, I guess you kind of record in the middle 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:09.760 of something, because you'd had this ongoing relationship with Kirby 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.480 the whole way through the show, and then all of 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:14.000 a sudden, this powerful connection with Kitty and say Dan 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:17.399 that we're now hearing about in our conversation today. You know, 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:21.359 the pressure of being put between these two thoughts and 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.320 then the moral compass being used as well. I guess 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.280 that all kind of would have been overwhelming. I would 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:27.720 have been triggering. I guess you know. 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.800 It was because obviously, as well as you're thinking about 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:33.160