WEBVTT - FULL SHOW: Road Rage & The Reach Theory 0:00:01.320 --> 0:00:01.960 Are you ready? 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:05.400 Good pick up with britt Hockley and Laura Burn. 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:11.479 Radio Work, Our Windows, My world, reason the dust only good, 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:12.559 Babs all down. 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:17.759 I don't much, but yeah I'm not. I'll beget and 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:21.160 what I want. It don't matter where rad This is 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:21.840 the pickup. 0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:24.800 It's that time again. It's the pickout with Brette Hockley 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:25.439 and Laura Ben. 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:27.880 I have a question for you. Oh yeah, what is it? 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:30.240 If you could go to the future or go back 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:31.360 in time, which one would you do? 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:36.120 Go get to the future, go to the future? Depends? 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:39.280 Can I pick? How far back in time? Yeah? Okay, 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.519 go back in time? How far? Not that far? 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:43.919 I'm getting real sentimental. I'd just spend some more time 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:44.599 with my granddad. 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:48.360 Oh yeah, I would. That would be my That would 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:49.760 be my pick. Go back in time? 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:53.519 Yeah, I think, yeah, you're no, because I'm like I 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:56.000 just didn't expect such like wholesome senten. 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:57.120 It's making me like sad. 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:59.000 Yeah, if I could spend another day with my papa, 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:00.520 would love that. That would be my favorite thing in 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:00.760 the world. 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:02.280 All right, will you pass? What was a good answer? 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:03.960 Thank you, Thank you so much. Hey, I have a 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:04.560 question for you. 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:06.560 Why do you have seventeen different types of drinks on 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:07.399 the side table. 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:10.160 Feeling a bit dehydrated today, I actually let me talk 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:10.600 you through it. 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:12.959 I've got a protein shake, and then I have a 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:16.240 leader of cordial flavored water. It's diet right, zero sugar 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:18.399 because I just drink more water when it's flavored. Then 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:20.959 I've got a sweet cappuccino, and then i have a 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:21.800 Coke zero. 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:24.480 But they're all at various stages of being drunk. Like 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.759 none of them have been drunk. The cokes had two 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:28.080 SIPs out of the toe. I don't know what's going 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:29.559 on here. I love liquids. 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:32.080 I love liquids, and I'm not order Apparently I often 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.600 replace No, that's water, but it's got a flavor. 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:37.319 It's a cordial. It's water with a little bit of 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:38.120 cordial in it. 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:44.200 We went from the sentimentals of the really trivial and 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:46.600 it is time for Ask Uncut. 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:46.800 Now. 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:49.360 We do this every Thursday on our podcast Life Uncut, 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:51.880 and it's where you guys, you call up, you send 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.640 in your biggest, deep at darkest problems and Britta night. 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:59.400 Even though we are very unqualified, we're extremely enthusiastic advice givers. 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.280 And we will give you up advice. I froth it. 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:01.800 I love it. 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:05.120 I have a part the advice, giving all the problems, 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.240 and also just like hearing other people's problems. 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:08.919 All right, well here's a good one. I've got a 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:09.600 question for you. 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:11.800 Well it's from Jack and it has to do with 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:13.640 road rage. Why don't we ask Jack what the question is. 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:16.919 I'm just about to thank you Jack. Welcome to the show. 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:22.280 Hey guys, So I wanted to talk about my girlfriend, who, yeah, 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.959 gets really bad road rage. Like I can kind of 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.680 understand if someone like cuts you off in traffic or 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:30.200 is driving aggressively or that kind of thing, but she'll 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:33.400 just like lose her mind, Like if someone's driving a 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:36.880 bit slowly or stupidly or whatever, she'll get really really angry, 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.919 like really short fused, and like it's even gotten to 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:42.640 the point where I can't drive with her in the 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:46.480 passenger seat because she just gets so angry so quickly. 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:49.280 I don't know. Is that normal? Like is that a 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:49.919 red flag? 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:50.840 Because normal? 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.320 But it's unusual to get passenger road rage as well, 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.280 Like quite often the road rage comes from the person 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:56.880 in control. 0:02:56.919 --> 0:02:59.600 Maybe she has control issues. Is this deeper than we think? 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.680 That's what it feels like. It feels like, why are 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.360 you losing your mind? But like, is this an avenue 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.560 for you to get angry at me? Is this about 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:09.839 something else? And I don't really know how to even 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:10.760 talk to her about it. 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.480 Has there been a specific incident that's like really kind 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.000 of tipped it over the edge or so She's just 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:16.320 always been angry in a car. 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.560 I think she's always been pretty angry. There was one 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:22.720 time where she got out of a car when someone 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.480 was driving pretty aggressively like that I could understand it. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.600 No, No, you can't say that. You can understand it. 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:30.320 She got out of the car. What did she do 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:32.080 when she got out? Very dangerous? 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:34.280 I mean, she's not really like a yeller or she's 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:36.120 not somebody that I would worry about getting into a 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:38.680 physical fight or anything like that. But gets out of 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:41.280 the car, starts walking towards the car that cut us off, 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.080 and thankfully they drove off, So I don't know where 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:45.000 that would have gone. 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:50.080 Well, question Jack, when you said she's always angry in 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:52.080 the car, is she always angry full stop? 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:52.240 Like? 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.040 Is she angry in the house? Is she angry in 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:54.640 the day to day? 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.320 Not really, which is why it feels like a bit 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:01.520 of a red flag to me, Like it feels like, 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:03.720 is this your placed event? Is this your place to 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:05.960 like get angry at me about other things that you're 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:07.320 afraid to talk about or something. 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.920 How long have you guys been together for three? Is 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:11.920 is it escalating? 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:16.799 I mean in the car it is, but it isn't elsehere. 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:19.200 I mean I think it. 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:20.920 Depends what it is, right, Like, I don't think it's 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:22.720 a red flag in terms of you need to break up, 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:25.320 but maybe you just need to say to her, hey, look, 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:27.279 you need to chill a bit, because when you're like 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:28.920 this in the car, it gives me anxiety. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:29.920 And when I'm driving and. 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:31.880 Trying to concentrate and you are losing it, like it's 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:33.760 not good for anyone. But I think you just need 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:35.920 to say put it back into you, like when you're 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:38.560 in control. It's like, hey, this sends me over the 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:40.240 edge of it and I'm trying to drive the car, like, 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:41.760 let's just try and calm down. 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:43.440 I can't keep getting about it. 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.760 Take different means of travel. Just don't be in a 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:47.680 car together. Take a car you can get the. 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:50.120 Bar so that's unrealistic. You're always going to drive in 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.840 a car together. But if she's screaming about everything, what 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:54.039 do you think is going to happen? When he says, 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:56.640 get the bus, how's that going to go? You could 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:57.279 get the bus. 0:04:57.320 --> 0:05:00.039 I look, obviously a conversation needs to be had, but 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:02.599 people can sometimes be very defensive when you try and 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.040 let them know that they've got a certain behavior. If 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.320 they don't see it in themselves, sometimes it's tricky for 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.680 them to realize, actually it's not appropriate. 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:12.720 Laura, that was you didn't give any advice. I just 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:16.279 didn't get the bars. No one's getting the bars. Jack 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.559 is not getting the bus because his wife's angry. 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:20.640 Okay, wait, if you have one more question, Jack, are 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:23.719 you're actually considering breaking up because of how angry she gets. 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:24.000 In the car? 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.800 I'm worried that, yes, it will cause a fracture in 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:30.520 the relationship that won't be able to be repaired. 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:34.479 I think therapy is probably a good thing for maybe 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:36.920 your partner to undergo, could. 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:38.240 Help get to the road. 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:43.720 Suggests in a safe place, pillows soft. 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:47.320 That's definitely that's definitely an inside the house chat that one. 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:48.279 Anyway, Good luck. 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.400 Jack, Thank you guys, you're. 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:51.919 So well good. We didn't know that we helped. He's like, 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.240 thank you so much we gave. That's terrible. I don't 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:55.080 know what you do with that. 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.440 If you just have someone who's so angry inside a car, 0:05:57.640 --> 0:05:58.719 we have to make them. 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.240 Believe that what they're doing is other people in danger. 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:03.920 Okay, Like I said, it just has to be like, hey, 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:05.800 I need to concentrate. You can't be like throwing things 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:07.719 out the window at people and yelling when I'm driving. 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.560 Well look, I mean feel like everybody experiences road rage 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:11.880 to different levels, but that's extreme. 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:12.640 Yeah, we've seen you do it. 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:16.839 Laws Like, yeah, Laws, you know, I've got a pretty 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:17.360 thick skin. 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:20.279 I know it's serious when you call me laws. Sometimes 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.119 I do call you laws when it's a more serious chat. 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:23.880 This is gonna be serious. 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:23.839 All right. 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:25.640 I'm glad we've strapped in for it strapping. 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:29.200 I'm a little bit exasperated, and I just want to 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:31.520 have a little event for a minute. I've got a 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:33.920 thick skin. Not a lot bothers me or gets under 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:36.920 my skin. But I have just been getting the last 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:40.960 couple of months, particularly so many messages and dms and 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:44.360 comments on my Instagram about my relationship with my fiance 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:47.920 Ben so if you don't know, my fiance lives in 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:48.640 another country. 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:49.480 He lives in Italy. 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:52.520 He has been living overseas since the day we met, 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.720 Like we have never lived together. The most time he's 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.600 been together is probably six weeks, and we try to 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.520 see each other every two months. I've been together for 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:02.200 two and a half years, so it's it's been quite 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.440 a long time and we're getting married soon. He also 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:08.200 plays football, which I think has a stereotype attached to it. 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:11.040 So when I say football, i'man soccer. But the number 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:13.720 of messages I'm getting, especially since we're getting married in 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.680 a few months. He had his Bucks party recently of 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:20.600 just people telling me constantly it's never gonna work. Your 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:23.960 relationship is doomed before it's gonna start. He's constantly cheating 0:07:23.960 --> 0:07:25.640 on me, Like this is what they're saying, of course, 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:29.120 not what he's doing. You can't trust him. How are 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:31.280 you going to marry someone that you're not going to 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:32.760 live with? How are you going to marry and then 0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:34.960 be a part again? Like why are you doing? They're 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:38.000 just so down, down, down, down, cheating, cheating, negative, It's over. 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:43.000 And I'm just over it. Yes, I agree, my relationship. 0:07:42.440 --> 0:07:46.040 Is very different. It is not a normal mainstream relationship. 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:48.760 But why is that an issue for so many people? 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:51.240 But these messages come from people who you don't know 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:54.080 and who, oh, yes, your relationship. These are from strangers 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:54.760 on the internet. 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:59.200 It's not use he's cheating on yet I don't have 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:01.400 a burner account everyone, It's not very you know. 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:05.320 The thing is is, I think people comment negatively when 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.920 they see something that they can't understand because it wouldn't 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:11.120 work for them, or because they've had a horrible experience themselves. 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:13.920 Maybe they've been cheated on, maybe they have trust issues, 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:16.680 maybe every relationship they've been in has ended in a 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:19.880 way that all they can fathom is that surely that 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.600 this is not something that could work out, do you 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:22.000 know what I mean? 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:24.440 Like, they can't rationalize it. 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:26.720 And I think it's also part and pass so when 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:29.840 you're when you have a public Instagram, we talk about 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:32.120 the intriacies of our life a lot, and then you 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:34.559 open it up to people's public opinions around it. I'm 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.000 not saying that those opinions are warranted, and I'm not 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:40.800 saying that they're allowed, like it's so unnecessary and deeply hurtful, 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.080 but I think that that's why people think that they 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:45.079 have an allowance to do it. That's why I think 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:47.839 people go, oh, I'm just one person, like it's not 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:48.680 going to affect them. 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:49.240 I don't know. 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:50.920 I don't know why people think that that's something that 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.640 they should be okay with saying. 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:56.000 Especially when it's like I come from a relationship of 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.880 like pretty horrific, like a past a pretty horrific cheating. 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:01.360 I was once with someone for quite a few years 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:04.319 who had a double life. He was marrying someone else simultaneously. 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:06.200 Obviously I didn't know that at the time. But when 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:07.920 you come from a bit of a background of cheating 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:10.480 and I don't have trust issues moving forward and. 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:13.200 Which not crazy, Like it is crazy that you have 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.840 that track record of relationships and you've been able to 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:18.880 go into a long distance relationship with like, yeah, I 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:21.600 feel secure, But also I think it comes down to 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:24.760 the relationship, Like I know the two of you well, 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:26.800 and I see how you communicate, and I see how 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:28.880 much effort the two of you put into making sure 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:31.199 that when you have free time, it's spent together. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.800 Yeah, you should see our phone bill. I should see 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:35.600 your trifle bill. It's even worse that's way worse. But 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:37.520 you know, I mean I experienced a version of this. 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:39.959 I remember when Matt and I met and we hadn't 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:42.280 been together for that long when I got pregnant with my. 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:44.079 First, our first baby it's his true. 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:48.280 Malie, and we weren't engaged and we'd only just been 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:50.200 living together for a little while, and there were loads 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:53.560 of people online who couldn't fathom that our relationship would 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:55.880 work out, and we're always like, you know, I'd get 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.960 messages which was like give it a year, and I 0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:02.880 can't shut up, Brad literally Margaret, like I reckon. I 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.160 would have received one of those sorts of messages a day, 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:07.680 and now where eight years down the track, got another kid, 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.439 and like, life is great. But I think people are 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.720 negatively geared when they are unhappy in their own lives. 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.319 I think that's what it's a reflection of. Also, I'm 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:17.120 getting married. 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:20.080 Let me be happy, let me be excited, Like I 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:21.880 don't want to wake up every single day and have 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.600 someone saying, hey, just so you know he's cheating on you. 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.080 For sure, you're a moron if you think he's not 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:29.360 doing the dirty. I'm like, if you knew my fiance 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.840 he's at home watching cooking shows. I have his location. 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.640 His favorite pastime is cooking shows. I can see everything 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:39.079 he watches. We share a Netflix account, but that's legal. 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:40.679 It's very funny. 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:43.240 Instagram a trend that was going around, or Tim took 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:44.640 trend that was going around, which was like, how I 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:46.400 know my husband won't cheat on me? And it's just 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:49.240 only the men like playing World of Warcraft. 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:50.640 It's what it is, being at home. 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:52.200 Doing knitting activities and stuff like. 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:55.439 That's Ben. But here's his cooking shows a hundred percent. Anyway, 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:57.040 they just wanted to have a ranch, and I'm like, 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:57.920 just let me live. 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:02.680 Have something for you. You live in a bit of 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:06.280 clutter too. My girlfriend me, I went into your bathroom recently, 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:09.360 and holy hell, this room needs to be cleaned out 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:09.920 and cleared out. 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:10.520 Oh, you have. 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:12.360 Never seen so many products. 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:14.319 And I will say that it's a ludicrous It's a 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:15.360 ludicrous mount of products. 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:16.360 And that's my spare bathroom. 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.160 Okay, so we're talking about clutter. Are you someone who 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:21.679 lives amongst too many things? I think in this day 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:25.280 and age, it's so easy to just acquire more things. 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:26.600 I'm not saying it's a good thing. 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:29.240 But you know, you walk into Kman and there's so 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:32.080 many nice things and they're all so reasonably priced, and 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:32.680 you walk out. 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:34.120 Of there with a trolley full of stuff you probably 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:34.680 didn't need. 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:38.120 But I am someone who really struggles to throw things out, 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:42.160 whether it's because I haven't used it yet, or it's sentimental, 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.079 or I have multiple of the same thing, but I 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.640 think I might use them at some time. And I'm 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:51.960 really conscious about this because, like in my family, it's 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:55.520 something that has kind of always been the case for 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.160 past generations. My mum is someone who holds onto a 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:01.080 lot of stuff. She has a lot of clutter in 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:03.360 her house, and you know, we've worked really hard to 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:06.560 try and minimize that, to take away the mental load 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:07.839 of it, because I think the thing that a lot 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.760 of people don't realize when it comes to living amongst 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.839 clutter and living amongst belongings is how it affects your 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:16.960 mental health and how it affects like your ability to 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:20.240 think clearly, because when you have more stuff in your space, 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:23.240 it's actually really hard to feel positive about your space 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:23.800 that you're living in. 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.600 Yeah, but it's also hard, and I'm going to say 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.160 this for a lot of people that might also live 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.760 in a really small place. I have a really small apartment, 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.360 so it doesn't take a lot for my house to 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.360 feel cluttered or to feel overwhelmed because I don't. 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:36.080 Have a lot of space. I don't have a lot 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:37.839 of storage. Yeah, I don't have a lot of rooms. 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:39.440 But it's also something that can happen as a bit 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:41.440 of a slow creep, and especially like in the case 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:44.079 of my family. My family home was never cluttered when 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:46.120 I was a kid, like that wasn't a thing, but 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.800 it's become more so over the years, and more so 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:50.760 as things have become more sentimental. 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:51.640 Now. 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:53.520 What I wanted to talk about is something called the 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:55.679 reach theory. So there was an article that was posted 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.640 on Mom and mea a woman named Katie. She basically 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:02.240 struggled with the same thing, trying to figure out what 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.240 and how she should throw away and feeling paralyzed by 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.000 the decision around it. We've all heard the Marie condo, 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.600 you know, if it doesn't spark joy, throw it away. 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.400 I think that that's also impractical, because not everything that 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.200 you hold onto sparks joy sparks joy l has a purpose. 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:18.560 Sometimes it's just stuff that, like, you know, it's nice 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:19.839 in the house and you want to keep it. 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:23.120 Katie has a different theory. This is the concept. 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:25.000 So when you're deciding whether or not you want to 0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:26.920 keep an item, if there's something that you're not sure 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:29.319 about but you do think, okay, maybe I want to 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:30.720 keep this. I'm not ready to get rid. 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:32.120 Of it, like I paid good money for it. 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:32.840 Yep. 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:34.880 All you've got to do is put it somewhere that's 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:36.920 out of mind and out of sight. So put it 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.960 in a box under the bed, in the wardrobe or something. 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:42.280 Put it somewhere where it is completely out of reach 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:45.360 and you're not thinking about it. After six months, if 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.920 you haven't reached for it, that is your indication to 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:50.360 get rid of it or donate it. So basically, if 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:52.240 you can see it once, think you need it or 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:54.439 think you want it, then put it away and never 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.480 think about it again and never reach for it or 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.000 use it, that is your indication you do not actually 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:00.920 need that item and to get rid of it from 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:01.319 your house. 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.240 I don't know about that because that's come on, no, 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:07.240 because that's only like a full season in Australia, six 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.000 months like sometimes it's the changing weather hasn't even changed it. 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:12.280 If we're talking about clothes and shoes and stuff. I 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:14.120 don't know. This is what I do, right. 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:16.280 I might not wear it for six months, but it's 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:18.240 a great piece, so I'm like, one day, I am 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:21.600 gonna wear that again. And sometimes two years goes past 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:23.200 and I'll pull something out and be like, I knew 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:24.120 I was gonna wear this again. 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:25.920 Yeah, but you wear it one time, but you've held 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:27.440 onto it for two years in order to do it 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:28.040 that one time. 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:31.320 I have clothes that are ten, fifteen years old. I 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.800 hold on to clothes like there is no tomorrow. 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:37.360 This is true, but your wardrobe is no No one's 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:39.800 is comparable if you out of control. 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.840 I actually have two full wardrobes out of control. But 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:44.880 I'm not an over buyer or anything. It's just that 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.360 I don't throw it out. So I don't actually buy 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:47.840 a lot of clothes, but I hold on to them. 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:49.160 I've got clothes from my mid twenties. 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:49.400 See. 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.320 I think the six month theory works because if you 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.480 haven't used it in six months, it means you've already 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.480 gotten through the season that you're currently in. So you're 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:58.400 already halfway through summer, you're already halfway through spring. So 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.280 if you've put it away, then it means you haven't 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:03.400 needed it, so that you're now in a whole different 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:05.560 season and time of year. And I think like we 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:08.600 just sometimes hold onto things because mentally we think that 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.280 we might have a use for them, or mentally we 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:11.320 think that we might need them. 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:12.200 All they're sentimental. 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:14.960 I genuinely think that we get attached to stuff and 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:16.120 it's not for the right reasons. 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:19.400 Absolutely we do. Yeah, right, I am a little bit motivated. 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:21.160 I actually might go home and go through one of 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:21.720 my cupboards. 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:23.320 If you did your bathroom, I reckon you could just 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:24.800 ride all the expired stuff first. 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:26.400 I don't think it's expired. 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:28.320