Speaker 1: Are you ready?
Speaker 2: Good pick up with britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Speaker 3: Radio Work, Our Windows, My world, reason the dust only good,
Speaker 3: Babs all down.
Speaker 2: I don't much, but yeah I'm not. I'll beget and
Speaker 2: what I want. It don't matter where rad This is
Speaker 2: the pickup.
Speaker 3: It's that time again. It's the pickout with Brette Hockley
Speaker 3: and Laura Ben.
Speaker 2: I have a question for you. Oh yeah, what is it?
Speaker 4: If you could go to the future or go back
Speaker 4: in time, which one would you do?
Speaker 2: Go get to the future, go to the future? Depends?
Speaker 2: Can I pick? How far back in time? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 2: go back in time? How far? Not that far?
Speaker 3: I'm getting real sentimental. I'd just spend some more time
Speaker 3: with my granddad.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I would. That would be my That would
Speaker 2: be my pick. Go back in time?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think, yeah, you're no, because I'm like I
Speaker 4: just didn't expect such like wholesome senten.
Speaker 2: It's making me like sad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I could spend another day with my papa,
Speaker 3: would love that. That would be my favorite thing in
Speaker 3: the world.
Speaker 2: All right, will you pass? What was a good answer?
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you so much. Hey, I have a
Speaker 2: question for you.
Speaker 3: Why do you have seventeen different types of drinks on
Speaker 3: the side table.
Speaker 2: Feeling a bit dehydrated today, I actually let me talk
Speaker 2: you through it.
Speaker 4: I've got a protein shake, and then I have a
Speaker 4: leader of cordial flavored water. It's diet right, zero sugar
Speaker 4: because I just drink more water when it's flavored. Then
Speaker 4: I've got a sweet cappuccino, and then i have a
Speaker 4: Coke zero.
Speaker 3: But they're all at various stages of being drunk. Like
Speaker 3: none of them have been drunk. The cokes had two
Speaker 3: SIPs out of the toe. I don't know what's going
Speaker 3: on here. I love liquids.
Speaker 4: I love liquids, and I'm not order Apparently I often
Speaker 4: replace No, that's water, but it's got a flavor.
Speaker 2: It's a cordial. It's water with a little bit of
Speaker 2: cordial in it.
Speaker 3: We went from the sentimentals of the really trivial and
Speaker 3: it is time for Ask Uncut.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: We do this every Thursday on our podcast Life Uncut,
Speaker 3: and it's where you guys, you call up, you send
Speaker 3: in your biggest, deep at darkest problems and Britta night.
Speaker 3: Even though we are very unqualified, we're extremely enthusiastic advice givers.
Speaker 2: And we will give you up advice. I froth it.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 3: I have a part the advice, giving all the problems,
Speaker 3: and also just like hearing other people's problems.
Speaker 2: All right, well here's a good one. I've got a
Speaker 2: question for you.
Speaker 3: Well it's from Jack and it has to do with
Speaker 3: road rage. Why don't we ask Jack what the question is.
Speaker 3: I'm just about to thank you Jack. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, So I wanted to talk about my girlfriend, who, yeah,
Speaker 1: gets really bad road rage. Like I can kind of
Speaker 1: understand if someone like cuts you off in traffic or
Speaker 1: is driving aggressively or that kind of thing, but she'll
Speaker 1: just like lose her mind, Like if someone's driving a
Speaker 1: bit slowly or stupidly or whatever, she'll get really really angry,
Speaker 1: like really short fused, and like it's even gotten to
Speaker 1: the point where I can't drive with her in the
Speaker 1: passenger seat because she just gets so angry so quickly.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Is that normal? Like is that a
Speaker 1: red flag?
Speaker 2: Because normal?
Speaker 4: But it's unusual to get passenger road rage as well,
Speaker 4: Like quite often the road rage comes from the person
Speaker 4: in control.
Speaker 2: Maybe she has control issues. Is this deeper than we think?
Speaker 1: That's what it feels like. It feels like, why are
Speaker 1: you losing your mind? But like, is this an avenue
Speaker 1: for you to get angry at me? Is this about
Speaker 1: something else? And I don't really know how to even
Speaker 1: talk to her about it.
Speaker 3: Has there been a specific incident that's like really kind
Speaker 3: of tipped it over the edge or so She's just
Speaker 3: always been angry in a car.
Speaker 1: I think she's always been pretty angry. There was one
Speaker 1: time where she got out of a car when someone
Speaker 1: was driving pretty aggressively like that I could understand it.
Speaker 2: No, No, you can't say that. You can understand it.
Speaker 2: She got out of the car. What did she do
Speaker 2: when she got out? Very dangerous?
Speaker 1: I mean, she's not really like a yeller or she's
Speaker 1: not somebody that I would worry about getting into a
Speaker 1: physical fight or anything like that. But gets out of
Speaker 1: the car, starts walking towards the car that cut us off,
Speaker 1: and thankfully they drove off, So I don't know where
Speaker 1: that would have gone.
Speaker 4: Well, question Jack, when you said she's always angry in
Speaker 4: the car, is she always angry full stop?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Is she angry in the house? Is she angry in
Speaker 2: the day to day?
Speaker 1: Not really, which is why it feels like a bit
Speaker 1: of a red flag to me, Like it feels like,
Speaker 1: is this your placed event? Is this your place to
Speaker 1: like get angry at me about other things that you're
Speaker 1: afraid to talk about or something.
Speaker 2: How long have you guys been together for three? Is
Speaker 2: is it escalating?
Speaker 1: I mean in the car it is, but it isn't elsehere.
Speaker 2: I mean I think it.
Speaker 4: Depends what it is, right, Like, I don't think it's
Speaker 4: a red flag in terms of you need to break up,
Speaker 4: but maybe you just need to say to her, hey, look,
Speaker 4: you need to chill a bit, because when you're like
Speaker 4: this in the car, it gives me anxiety.
Speaker 2: And when I'm driving and.
Speaker 4: Trying to concentrate and you are losing it, like it's
Speaker 4: not good for anyone. But I think you just need
Speaker 4: to say put it back into you, like when you're
Speaker 4: in control. It's like, hey, this sends me over the
Speaker 4: edge of it and I'm trying to drive the car, like,
Speaker 4: let's just try and calm down.
Speaker 2: I can't keep getting about it.
Speaker 3: Take different means of travel. Just don't be in a
Speaker 3: car together. Take a car you can get the.
Speaker 2: Bar so that's unrealistic. You're always going to drive in
Speaker 2: a car together. But if she's screaming about everything, what
Speaker 2: do you think is going to happen? When he says,
Speaker 2: get the bus, how's that going to go? You could
Speaker 2: get the bus.
Speaker 3: I look, obviously a conversation needs to be had, but
Speaker 3: people can sometimes be very defensive when you try and
Speaker 3: let them know that they've got a certain behavior. If
Speaker 3: they don't see it in themselves, sometimes it's tricky for
Speaker 3: them to realize, actually it's not appropriate.
Speaker 2: Laura, that was you didn't give any advice. I just
Speaker 2: didn't get the bars. No one's getting the bars. Jack
Speaker 2: is not getting the bus because his wife's angry.
Speaker 3: Okay, wait, if you have one more question, Jack, are
Speaker 3: you're actually considering breaking up because of how angry she gets.
Speaker 2: In the car?
Speaker 1: I'm worried that, yes, it will cause a fracture in
Speaker 1: the relationship that won't be able to be repaired.
Speaker 3: I think therapy is probably a good thing for maybe
Speaker 3: your partner to undergo, could.
Speaker 2: Help get to the road.
Speaker 4: Suggests in a safe place, pillows soft.
Speaker 3: That's definitely that's definitely an inside the house chat that one.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Good luck.
Speaker 1: Jack, Thank you guys, you're.
Speaker 2: So well good. We didn't know that we helped. He's like,
Speaker 2: thank you so much we gave. That's terrible. I don't
Speaker 2: know what you do with that.
Speaker 3: If you just have someone who's so angry inside a car,
Speaker 3: we have to make them.
Speaker 2: Believe that what they're doing is other people in danger.
Speaker 4: Okay, Like I said, it just has to be like, hey,
Speaker 4: I need to concentrate. You can't be like throwing things
Speaker 4: out the window at people and yelling when I'm driving.
Speaker 3: Well look, I mean feel like everybody experiences road rage
Speaker 3: to different levels, but that's extreme.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've seen you do it.
Speaker 4: Laws Like, yeah, Laws, you know, I've got a pretty
Speaker 4: thick skin.
Speaker 2: I know it's serious when you call me laws. Sometimes
Speaker 2: I do call you laws when it's a more serious chat.
Speaker 2: This is gonna be serious.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: I'm glad we've strapped in for it strapping.
Speaker 4: I'm a little bit exasperated, and I just want to
Speaker 4: have a little event for a minute. I've got a
Speaker 4: thick skin. Not a lot bothers me or gets under
Speaker 4: my skin. But I have just been getting the last
Speaker 4: couple of months, particularly so many messages and dms and
Speaker 4: comments on my Instagram about my relationship with my fiance
Speaker 4: Ben so if you don't know, my fiance lives in
Speaker 4: another country.
Speaker 2: He lives in Italy.
Speaker 4: He has been living overseas since the day we met,
Speaker 4: Like we have never lived together. The most time he's
Speaker 4: been together is probably six weeks, and we try to
Speaker 4: see each other every two months. I've been together for
Speaker 4: two and a half years, so it's it's been quite
Speaker 4: a long time and we're getting married soon. He also
Speaker 4: plays football, which I think has a stereotype attached to it.
Speaker 4: So when I say football, i'man soccer. But the number
Speaker 4: of messages I'm getting, especially since we're getting married in
Speaker 4: a few months. He had his Bucks party recently of
Speaker 4: just people telling me constantly it's never gonna work. Your
Speaker 4: relationship is doomed before it's gonna start. He's constantly cheating
Speaker 4: on me, Like this is what they're saying, of course,
Speaker 4: not what he's doing. You can't trust him. How are
Speaker 4: you going to marry someone that you're not going to
Speaker 4: live with? How are you going to marry and then
Speaker 4: be a part again? Like why are you doing? They're
Speaker 4: just so down, down, down, down, cheating, cheating, negative, It's over.
Speaker 2: And I'm just over it. Yes, I agree, my relationship.
Speaker 4: Is very different. It is not a normal mainstream relationship.
Speaker 4: But why is that an issue for so many people?
Speaker 3: But these messages come from people who you don't know
Speaker 3: and who, oh, yes, your relationship. These are from strangers
Speaker 3: on the internet.
Speaker 2: It's not use he's cheating on yet I don't have
Speaker 2: a burner account everyone, It's not very you know.
Speaker 3: The thing is is, I think people comment negatively when
Speaker 3: they see something that they can't understand because it wouldn't
Speaker 3: work for them, or because they've had a horrible experience themselves.
Speaker 3: Maybe they've been cheated on, maybe they have trust issues,
Speaker 3: maybe every relationship they've been in has ended in a
Speaker 3: way that all they can fathom is that surely that
Speaker 3: this is not something that could work out, do you
Speaker 3: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, they can't rationalize it.
Speaker 3: And I think it's also part and pass so when
Speaker 3: you're when you have a public Instagram, we talk about
Speaker 3: the intriacies of our life a lot, and then you
Speaker 3: open it up to people's public opinions around it. I'm
Speaker 3: not saying that those opinions are warranted, and I'm not
Speaker 3: saying that they're allowed, like it's so unnecessary and deeply hurtful,
Speaker 3: but I think that that's why people think that they
Speaker 3: have an allowance to do it. That's why I think
Speaker 3: people go, oh, I'm just one person, like it's not
Speaker 3: going to affect them.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know why people think that that's something that
Speaker 3: they should be okay with saying.
Speaker 4: Especially when it's like I come from a relationship of
Speaker 4: like pretty horrific, like a past a pretty horrific cheating.
Speaker 4: I was once with someone for quite a few years
Speaker 4: who had a double life. He was marrying someone else simultaneously.
Speaker 4: Obviously I didn't know that at the time. But when
Speaker 4: you come from a bit of a background of cheating
Speaker 4: and I don't have trust issues moving forward and.
Speaker 3: Which not crazy, Like it is crazy that you have
Speaker 3: that track record of relationships and you've been able to
Speaker 3: go into a long distance relationship with like, yeah, I
Speaker 3: feel secure, But also I think it comes down to
Speaker 3: the relationship, Like I know the two of you well,
Speaker 3: and I see how you communicate, and I see how
Speaker 3: much effort the two of you put into making sure
Speaker 3: that when you have free time, it's spent together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should see our phone bill. I should see
Speaker 2: your trifle bill. It's even worse that's way worse. But
Speaker 2: you know, I mean I experienced a version of this.
Speaker 3: I remember when Matt and I met and we hadn't
Speaker 3: been together for that long when I got pregnant with my.
Speaker 2: First, our first baby it's his true.
Speaker 3: Malie, and we weren't engaged and we'd only just been
Speaker 3: living together for a little while, and there were loads
Speaker 3: of people online who couldn't fathom that our relationship would
Speaker 3: work out, and we're always like, you know, I'd get
Speaker 3: messages which was like give it a year, and I
Speaker 3: can't shut up, Brad literally Margaret, like I reckon. I
Speaker 3: would have received one of those sorts of messages a day,
Speaker 3: and now where eight years down the track, got another kid,
Speaker 3: and like, life is great. But I think people are
Speaker 3: negatively geared when they are unhappy in their own lives.
Speaker 2: I think that's what it's a reflection of. Also, I'm
Speaker 2: getting married.
Speaker 4: Let me be happy, let me be excited, Like I
Speaker 4: don't want to wake up every single day and have
Speaker 4: someone saying, hey, just so you know he's cheating on you.
Speaker 4: For sure, you're a moron if you think he's not
Speaker 4: doing the dirty. I'm like, if you knew my fiance
Speaker 4: he's at home watching cooking shows. I have his location.
Speaker 4: His favorite pastime is cooking shows. I can see everything
Speaker 4: he watches. We share a Netflix account, but that's legal.
Speaker 2: It's very funny.
Speaker 3: Instagram a trend that was going around, or Tim took
Speaker 3: trend that was going around, which was like, how I
Speaker 3: know my husband won't cheat on me? And it's just
Speaker 3: only the men like playing World of Warcraft.
Speaker 2: It's what it is, being at home.
Speaker 3: Doing knitting activities and stuff like.
Speaker 2: That's Ben. But here's his cooking shows a hundred percent. Anyway,
Speaker 2: they just wanted to have a ranch, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: just let me live.
Speaker 3: Have something for you. You live in a bit of
Speaker 3: clutter too. My girlfriend me, I went into your bathroom recently,
Speaker 3: and holy hell, this room needs to be cleaned out
Speaker 3: and cleared out.
Speaker 1: Oh, you have.
Speaker 2: Never seen so many products.
Speaker 4: And I will say that it's a ludicrous It's a
Speaker 4: ludicrous mount of products.
Speaker 2: And that's my spare bathroom.
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're talking about clutter. Are you someone who
Speaker 3: lives amongst too many things? I think in this day
Speaker 3: and age, it's so easy to just acquire more things.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it's a good thing.
Speaker 3: But you know, you walk into Kman and there's so
Speaker 3: many nice things and they're all so reasonably priced, and
Speaker 3: you walk out.
Speaker 2: Of there with a trolley full of stuff you probably
Speaker 2: didn't need.
Speaker 3: But I am someone who really struggles to throw things out,
Speaker 3: whether it's because I haven't used it yet, or it's sentimental,
Speaker 3: or I have multiple of the same thing, but I
Speaker 3: think I might use them at some time. And I'm
Speaker 3: really conscious about this because, like in my family, it's
Speaker 3: something that has kind of always been the case for
Speaker 3: past generations. My mum is someone who holds onto a
Speaker 3: lot of stuff. She has a lot of clutter in
Speaker 3: her house, and you know, we've worked really hard to
Speaker 3: try and minimize that, to take away the mental load
Speaker 3: of it, because I think the thing that a lot
Speaker 3: of people don't realize when it comes to living amongst
Speaker 3: clutter and living amongst belongings is how it affects your
Speaker 3: mental health and how it affects like your ability to
Speaker 3: think clearly, because when you have more stuff in your space,
Speaker 3: it's actually really hard to feel positive about your space
Speaker 3: that you're living in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's also hard, and I'm going to say
Speaker 4: this for a lot of people that might also live
Speaker 4: in a really small place. I have a really small apartment,
Speaker 4: so it doesn't take a lot for my house to
Speaker 4: feel cluttered or to feel overwhelmed because I don't.
Speaker 2: Have a lot of space. I don't have a lot
Speaker 2: of storage. Yeah, I don't have a lot of rooms.
Speaker 3: But it's also something that can happen as a bit
Speaker 3: of a slow creep, and especially like in the case
Speaker 3: of my family. My family home was never cluttered when
Speaker 3: I was a kid, like that wasn't a thing, but
Speaker 3: it's become more so over the years, and more so
Speaker 3: as things have become more sentimental.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: What I wanted to talk about is something called the
Speaker 3: reach theory. So there was an article that was posted
Speaker 3: on Mom and mea a woman named Katie. She basically
Speaker 3: struggled with the same thing, trying to figure out what
Speaker 3: and how she should throw away and feeling paralyzed by
Speaker 3: the decision around it. We've all heard the Marie condo,
Speaker 3: you know, if it doesn't spark joy, throw it away.
Speaker 3: I think that that's also impractical, because not everything that
Speaker 3: you hold onto sparks joy sparks joy l has a purpose.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's just stuff that, like, you know, it's nice
Speaker 3: in the house and you want to keep it.
Speaker 2: Katie has a different theory. This is the concept.
Speaker 3: So when you're deciding whether or not you want to
Speaker 3: keep an item, if there's something that you're not sure
Speaker 3: about but you do think, okay, maybe I want to
Speaker 3: keep this. I'm not ready to get rid.
Speaker 2: Of it, like I paid good money for it.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 3: All you've got to do is put it somewhere that's
Speaker 3: out of mind and out of sight. So put it
Speaker 3: in a box under the bed, in the wardrobe or something.
Speaker 3: Put it somewhere where it is completely out of reach
Speaker 3: and you're not thinking about it. After six months, if
Speaker 3: you haven't reached for it, that is your indication to
Speaker 3: get rid of it or donate it. So basically, if
Speaker 3: you can see it once, think you need it or
Speaker 3: think you want it, then put it away and never
Speaker 3: think about it again and never reach for it or
Speaker 3: use it, that is your indication you do not actually
Speaker 3: need that item and to get rid of it from
Speaker 3: your house.
Speaker 4: I don't know about that because that's come on, no,
Speaker 4: because that's only like a full season in Australia, six
Speaker 4: months like sometimes it's the changing weather hasn't even changed it.
Speaker 2: If we're talking about clothes and shoes and stuff. I
Speaker 2: don't know. This is what I do, right.
Speaker 4: I might not wear it for six months, but it's
Speaker 4: a great piece, so I'm like, one day, I am
Speaker 4: gonna wear that again. And sometimes two years goes past
Speaker 4: and I'll pull something out and be like, I knew
Speaker 4: I was gonna wear this again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you wear it one time, but you've held
Speaker 3: onto it for two years in order to do it
Speaker 3: that one time.
Speaker 4: I have clothes that are ten, fifteen years old. I
Speaker 4: hold on to clothes like there is no tomorrow.
Speaker 3: This is true, but your wardrobe is no No one's
Speaker 3: is comparable if you out of control.
Speaker 4: I actually have two full wardrobes out of control. But
Speaker 4: I'm not an over buyer or anything. It's just that
Speaker 4: I don't throw it out. So I don't actually buy
Speaker 4: a lot of clothes, but I hold on to them.
Speaker 4: I've got clothes from my mid twenties.
Speaker 2: See.
Speaker 3: I think the six month theory works because if you
Speaker 3: haven't used it in six months, it means you've already
Speaker 3: gotten through the season that you're currently in. So you're
Speaker 3: already halfway through summer, you're already halfway through spring. So
Speaker 3: if you've put it away, then it means you haven't
Speaker 3: needed it, so that you're now in a whole different
Speaker 3: season and time of year. And I think like we
Speaker 3: just sometimes hold onto things because mentally we think that
Speaker 3: we might have a use for them, or mentally we
Speaker 3: think that we might need them.
Speaker 2: All they're sentimental.
Speaker 3: I genuinely think that we get attached to stuff and
Speaker 3: it's not for the right reasons.
Speaker 4: Absolutely we do. Yeah, right, I am a little bit motivated.
Speaker 4: I actually might go home and go through one of
Speaker 4: my cupboards.
Speaker 3: If you did your bathroom, I reckon you could just
Speaker 3: ride all the expired stuff first.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's expired.
Speaker 4: I think I have a lot of haircare products, and
Speaker 4: I have a lot of makeup and skincare products. Yes, okay, fine,
Speaker 4: I'll go through my bathroom.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, Well that is it from us today.