1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: We don't ask people how much food time they've had today, 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: because what I'm really interested in is what have you 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:09,720 Speaker 1: eaten today? How are you nourishing your body. It's the 4 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,240 Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time poor parent 5 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: who just once answers now. Hello, my name's dot Justin Coulson. 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: I'm here with my wife and co host, missus Happy Families. Hello, 7 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,120 Speaker 1: parents to six kids. I've written six books about raising 8 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,800 Speaker 1: happy families. I'm thinking about working on another one. Tell 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: you more about that another time. I just got the 10 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: look like you're not seriously going to do that. And 11 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: today a new topic that I think is it's on 12 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,880 Speaker 1: the minds of parents like almost no other topic. 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 2: Well, tonight, Justin, you're actually going to be hosting a 14 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,279 Speaker 2: webinar on tweens, teens and screens. This is a really 15 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 2: hot topic for any parent out there who has a 16 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 2: child old enough to hold a device. 17 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, and we've had We've had more interest and more 18 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: people growing hold of tickets for this webinar than any 19 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: that we've done in a long time. It's a really 20 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: hot button issue. I think covid has probably exacerbated it. 21 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 2: I think you're real spot on with that. So let's 22 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,279 Speaker 2: actually talk about what you're going to talk about tonight. Okay, 23 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 2: We've got this big list here of all of these 24 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 2: different concerns that parents have concerns with addiction to our screens, 25 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,319 Speaker 2: privacy issues for our children and keeping them safe, cyber bullying. 26 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 2: I mean, this is these are big issues for parents. 27 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it keeps going. And if you've watched The 28 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: Social Dilemma on Netflix, are. 29 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 2: You going to talk about that tonight? 30 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 1: We will talk about it briefly, really compelling documentary. Lots 31 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,320 Speaker 1: to like about it, but also a handful of things 32 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: that I really didn't like about it. It was not 33 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: so much a documentary as it was propaganda for Tristan 34 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: Harris and his Center for Humane Technology, which I'm a 35 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: really big fan of and supporter of. But there just 36 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: wasn't the other side. It was so onsided. So I'm 37 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 1: going to discuss why I loved The Social Dilemma, but 38 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: why I also hated it, and what we need to 39 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: know is parents that kind of maybe balances out the 40 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: conversation just a little bit. 41 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 2: So I've been reading over some of the questions that 42 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 2: have been coming through in relation to. 43 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: We've kind of been flooded this challenge. 44 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 2: And I've got a couple here that I wanted to 45 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 2: pass by you. So how much is too much screen time? 46 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: We're going to talk about that at length. It's probably 47 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: the most commonly asked question around screens. To give you 48 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: a sneak peek of where this is going to go, 49 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 1: I want to quote a guy from Oxford. His name 50 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: is Andrew Shabulski, and he's very much a bit polarizing 51 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: when it comes to the way we view screens. But 52 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: something he said has stuck with me forever. He said, 53 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: we don't ask people how much food time they've had today, Kylie, 54 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: how much food time have you had? And what's the 55 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: point of me asking that question? Is a pointless question? 56 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 2: Right yeah? 57 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 1: Because what I'm really interested is what have you eaten today? 58 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: How are you nourishing your body? That's the real question 59 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: that matters here, And so by asking how much screen 60 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: time our kids should be having, it kind of misses 61 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,799 Speaker 1: the point. It's like saying how much food time. I'm 62 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 1: interested in what screen input they're having and what it's 63 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,359 Speaker 1: doing to their brains and their connections and what it's 64 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: doing to their physical health. I'm interested in that much 65 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: more than I'm interested in how much of it they've gotten. 66 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 2: You know when we ask those kinds of questions, that 67 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 2: we actually putting emphasis on the thing that we want 68 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 2: to have less emphasis on. 69 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of, But the thing is, and this is 70 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 1: again why I kind of disagree with some of what 71 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: happened in the Social Dilemma. It's actually okay. There's good 72 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: quality research, lots of very good quality research that says 73 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 1: that it's okay to have screen time and it's even 74 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: okay to be involved with social media. That's not something 75 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: that came out in the Social Dilemma. Like I said, 76 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: I'll unpack that more in the webinar, but I reckon 77 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 1: to ask how much screen time a person's having it 78 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: kind of it's a pointless question. I'm much more interested 79 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: in what did you do on your screens today? What 80 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: are you planning on doing on your screens for the 81 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: next hour. That's more useful than it's kind of like 82 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: saying what are you having for dinner? Because if you're 83 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: telling me you're going to eat cookies and ice cream, 84 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to say, well, let's make sure that we 85 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: don't too much of that and maybe have it after 86 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: we had the nutritional stuff. 87 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 2: So parents with younger children, they want to know whether 88 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 2: or not they can actually control the amount of screen 89 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 2: time that they have with their children. Would you say 90 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 2: to that, well. 91 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: I would say yes. And in the webinar again, now 92 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: these questions aren't all planted, by the way, but in 93 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: the webinar, I'm going to talk about how we set 94 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: up those parameters, and I'm going to suggest that as 95 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 1: our children get older, we give them more and more 96 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: say in how much screen time they're having. But from 97 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: the very beginning our conversation, well, I'm going to talk 98 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: about six SE's. It started off with three c's and 99 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: it just keeps growing because I love alliterations. Six is 100 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: my lucky numb Yeah, six seeds of screen time is 101 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 1: what we're going to talk about. I'll give you a 102 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 1: quick sneak peek. So there's consumption, there's creation, there's connection, 103 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: but we've also got to consider the content and your child. 104 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: All of those things start with see and they're the 105 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: six big factors that impact not just how much screen 106 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 1: time we're going to let our kids have, because there 107 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: should be some limit around how much, but also what 108 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,359 Speaker 1: kind of screen time they're going to have. That's I 109 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: think that's where the real gold of tonight's conversation is. 110 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 1: I'll give you a quick snapshot. There's active kinds of 111 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: screen time and there's passive kinds of screen time. So 112 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: if your kids are actively using screens, that is, if 113 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,359 Speaker 1: they're using screens in a way where they're connecting with 114 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: people and they're creating content, those two seas, well, that's 115 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: really healthy for them. But if they're just consuming endlessly 116 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 1: scrolling using their thumbs and just over their pointer finger 117 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: and just scrolling through that infinity pool of entertainment, that 118 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: doesn't really enlarge our souls. Probably not so good. We 119 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: want to minimize the amount of time it's. 120 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,720 Speaker 2: Really easy to get caught up in that vortex of 121 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,799 Speaker 2: just continual scrolling. 122 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 1: So they're three of the seas. Content, context, and child 123 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: are the other ones, and we'll talk about that as well. 124 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: I think it's also important let's check in and find 125 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: out what other questions parents might want to know. Answers 126 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: to my name's doctor Justin Courson. I'm here with my wife, 127 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: missus Happy Families Kylie Couson co hosting the Happy Families 128 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: podcast The Pods for the time poor parent who just 129 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: once answers now, and we are talking tweens, teens and 130 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: screens and questions that have come up that I'll be 131 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: answering in tonight's webinar all about how we can manage 132 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: screen time in our homes. 133 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 2: Well, I think this question is going to probably take 134 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 2: up the rest of our time because parents want to 135 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 2: know can we even have an hour without screens or technology? 136 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: We're going to say, can we have an hour without 137 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: the kids and just let them be on their screen 138 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: so we can have some peace and quiet? We can 139 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 1: have both, you know, I reckon, let me answer the 140 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,840 Speaker 1: second part of that first, my little joke. I reckon, 141 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 1: it's perfectly okay now, and then to say, hey, kids, 142 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: go and consume some screens. I just want to spend 143 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 1: some time with your mum or your dad, or we 144 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: just need some downtime. I want to have a shower 145 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 1: in peace, leave me alone, and go on wats your screen. 146 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,799 Speaker 1: I don't think that's an unhealthy thing. Sometimes life gets 147 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 1: like that and we just need some downtime. So parents 148 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: shouldn't beating themselves up over that unless they're doing it 149 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: all day every day. The question that you asked, though, 150 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: is what about when the kids are on the screen, 151 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: we're like, can we just get you into our space 152 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 1: and into our living as a family for an hour 153 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 1: without your screen. 154 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 2: So in our home, for instance, we have a rule 155 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 2: that we don't bring our phones to the dinner table. 156 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: Or the breakfast table, or the lunch table with a table. Yeah, 157 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,559 Speaker 1: if there's food where they're to commune with one another, 158 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: where there to consume and commune. I like that. The 159 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: more sea, there's two more seas, two more CC's now. 160 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: So I think that it's really important that we work 161 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: out how to communicate with the kids so that those 162 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: moments that need to happen so our family can function 163 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: well really do occur. I mean, screens displace a lot 164 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: of things that are really healthy. So we'll talk in 165 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: the webinar about how we have those conversations with children 166 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: from toddlers to teens and maybe even our partners, because 167 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: let's face it, every now and again, missus happy families. 168 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: I do walk into the room and you're watching Netflix 169 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: in bed because I've been in the office later, I've 170 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 1: been dealing with the kids or whatever's going on, and. 171 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: Well, you did throw me under the bus on Friday 172 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 2: without I'll do better tomorrow. 173 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, so screens can be a bit of an 174 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: issue for for Adams big people. Yeah, even the big people, 175 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: and we'll be addressing that. I reckon the most important 176 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: sea of all. There's a sea for solving all of this. 177 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: A seed. I'm just solving all of this. I can't 178 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: help myself. Only one, not sick, just one, Just one 179 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: communicate and I'll tell you how to communicate in the webinar. 180 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 1: I mean, if if you can't get to the webinar, 181 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: you can actually register for it. And if you're a 182 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: Happy Family's member, by the way, you get the webinar 183 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 1: as part of your membership. If you're not a Happy 184 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: Family's member, what are you doing? You should be a member. 185 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: The family keeps getting bigger, literally every day, more and 186 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: more people are coming on board because there's so much 187 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: value for your family and that membership. But if you're 188 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 1: not a Happy Family's member, you can still register for it, 189 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: pay for it, and then watch it when it suits you. 190 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: So our time's pretty much up twins, teens, and screens. 191 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,679 Speaker 2: I think tonight it's going to be well worth a 192 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 2: list in justin and. 193 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: There's going to be a lot, a lot of a 194 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 1: lot of people who are online watching as well. I 195 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: think that I think it's going to be great now. 196 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: We love it when you jump online and go to 197 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 1: the Apple dot com podcasts page and leave your ratings 198 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: and reviews. That's how people get to find the podcast, 199 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: and you know, we get it in front of more 200 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: and more people. And we received one another five star review. 201 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: Don't mind five star reviews. I'm just putting it out there. 202 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 2: I don't think you are enjoying them. So Joe Photo said, 203 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 2: this is a really practical support for parents, and I 204 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 2: find Justin's insights really valuable, down to earth and real 205 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 2: highly recommended, and. 206 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 1: I reckon Joe Photo would have given us even more 207 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 1: than five out of five if he knew, if he 208 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: knew how down to earth and insightful you were as well. 209 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 1: But this one came through just before we started the 210 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: podcast together. So thank you very much, Joe Photo. Please 211 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 1: keep those ratings and reviews coming. It takes you about 212 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: two minutes to jump on there and do it, but 213 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: it makes such a big impact in terms of other 214 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: people being able to find the podcast and participated and 215 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: obviously get the value that we're offering. So thank you 216 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: very much for doing that. If you'd like more information 217 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: about all the ways that we can make your family happier, 218 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: our memberships are available at happy families dot com dot au. 219 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,440 Speaker 1: You can find us on Instagram, and you can also 220 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: find us at Facebook doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families