WEBVTT - Episode 4 : An Invisible Age 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:03.880 Hey, it's Pats with another episode of Rage Against the Menopause, 0:00:04.160 --> 0:00:08.000 this one with another one of my favorite women, bridget 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:11.119 To Chloe. I've worked with Bridgie and Top Rating Radio. 0:00:11.360 --> 0:00:15.440 She's one of Australia's most successful and much love personalities. 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:18.479 But away from the studio, to know Bridge really is 0:00:18.520 --> 0:00:21.640 to love her whyse beyond her years, She's always had 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:24.880 words of advice about all aspects of life, and I 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:28.480 regard her as one of the original trailblazers, a woman 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:31.840 who broke through the glass ceiling, dominating in what was 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:35.080 once a man's world. I've always admired the way she 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:40.159 reinvents herself. Currently a presenter on ABC Radio, also an 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:43.720 accredited counselor with her own practice, I think you'll also 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:49.160 find her a valuable addition to this series. Enjoy an invisible. 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:54.160 Age, Menopause. It's coming for you no matter what. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.520 Let's build a village of support. 0:00:56.680 --> 0:00:58.680 Why is it so damn hut in here? 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:01.200 Menopause is so hot right now? 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:02.920 I think I'm finally in menopause. 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:04.479 Women just want to feel heard. 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:09.720 Rage Against the Menopause a very special guest for Rage 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:11.080 Against the Menopause, and. 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.559 This is a beautiful, beautiful. 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:16.000 Soul who I had the honor of working with several 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:20.720 years ago, an absolute legend in radio and TV. 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:24.360 Bridget To Cloak, Welcome pets. It's so nice to see you. 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:28.520 And now you're an award winner. I'm in very very 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:30.759 esteemed company. I must say no about that. 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.720 So thrilled that you could could join us. You have 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:39.080 had a career change. You had thirty years in TV 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:42.559 and radio. I read your news when you were Bridge 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:43.840 and Limo won Gold FM. 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.200 Yes you did, and we had a wonderful time doing that. 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.520 Then sadly I got sacked and thought what the hell 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:51.520 am I going to do with myself? But good I'd 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:53.360 had a great un so, you know, thirty years in 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:56.600 radio was pretty amazing. So yeah, I went back to UNI, 0:01:56.760 --> 0:02:00.520 which was incredibly difficult. As a fifty plus I bear 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:02.560 something or other, couldn't remember how to write any sale 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:07.040 or do anything anyway. Thankfully I had two adult kids. Yeah, 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:08.920 so I went back and did a post grade counseling degree. 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:13.040 So I'm now practicing as a counselor, which is very 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:14.280 very different too. 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:17.360 It is, but you know what, I'm not surprised that 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:21.600 you've gone into this field because knowing you, being fortunate 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:25.520 and blessed enough to know you, you have always always. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:26.079 Had a heart of gold. 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:27.280 No, you have. 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:30.520 And I remember when I was diagnosed with cancer, so 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:35.440 nine nearly. Would you believe a decade ago Audrey was three? 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:36.960 You remember Audrey as. 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:42.640 A top I know, and you know how our whole world, Chris, 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.760 our whole world had been turned upside down and shaken. 0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:49.720 And you came to my doorstep out in the western summers. 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:51.400 You're like an hour away from home. 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:54.320 You had all this beautiful cooking and you just sat 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:57.919 and talked to me for like two or three hours. 0:02:58.280 --> 0:02:59.840 And you know, the biggest gift you can give some 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:01.600 one is your time. 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:04.960 And I'll never forget you. That's exactly what you do 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:07.120 as well. So it was a very easy thing to 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:07.920 do for someone like you. 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:10.399 No, I've never forgotten it. It's just meant so much. 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.160 It just made a lot, doesn't it. Things like that, 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:13.200 There's no doubt about it. 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.000 It does. And people, I guess too, people don't. 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:18.440 Always know how to respond or what is the right 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.120 thing to say, but sometimes just being present. 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:24.400 Yeah, I've really learned that actually in my journey because 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:26.320 a lot of people who come to see me say 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:29.360 no one talks to me about it, and it's like 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:31.520 and I try and explain it. It's often they it's 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.680 their own uncomfortability. You know what to do, what to say, 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:37.080 abound with you. I think always I say this to 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:38.840 my kids too. The best thing you can do is 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:42.120 say something, do something and go from there, but don't 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:42.800 just leave it. 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:44.640 But you didn't have to do that. And it was 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:45.960 just thrilled to go to wheer Aby. 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:53.360 It's very affluent out that way, not quite affluent as well, but. 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:56.720 It meant so much because you know, I've always looked up, 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:58.400 always looked up to you. 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:03.520 You're so legendary and what you've done in mediawat. 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:04.119 And for you to reach out like that, it meant 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:04.400 a lot. 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:06.480 And so it doesn't surprise me that you've gone into 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:08.400 counseling because you've always had a heart of goals. You've 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.600 all you know, the woman behind the persona of the 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:15.840 media personality with the high profile. There's a beautiful soul 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:19.400 in there and I'm so thrilled that everyone gets to 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:20.719 benefit from. 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.440 That, all your clients in your business. 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.160 You're a darling. Thank you. Look, I'm really enjoying it. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:29.880 It's it's a very very demanding because you've got people's 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.200 lives in your hands to a certain extent. I mean, 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:35.599 I don't mean obviously medically or anything, but there's a 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:38.400 lot going on out there, particularly since COVID. I so 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:40.640 a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:44.160 of couples having problems. So I am really enjoying. I'm 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:47.680 really enjoying doing it. It's it's great when you get 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:49.880 a good result and you feel like you're making a difference. 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:53.000 Sometimes it's really difficult, but yeah, no, look it's been 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:57.120 it's been interesting and great and I'm you know, I'm 0:04:57.120 --> 0:05:00.679 proud of myself for being able to change careers because 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:02.479 I could have just curled up in a ball and 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:05.560 never got up again, which was tempting for a couple 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:05.840 of days. 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:08.200 Well, you know, radio can be brutal. Media can be 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:09.800 absolutely brutal. 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:13.599 And it's like it's that creative sphere, isn't it, where 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:16.839 you just pour your heart And so especially with Brecky Radio, 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:20.640 you bring your whole life to the show, don't you overshare? 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:21.800 That's really dood to do. 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:24.480 And so it does feel like you've been cut off 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:25.040 at the knees. 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.800 No, it was a terrible shock. But I look back 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.240 at it now and I think, look, there's a lot 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.400 of lot I could have done differently. But I do 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:35.800 think I've never better about it because I think I 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:38.280 am so lucky to have worked in the media when 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:40.080 I did for as long as I did, and I 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:42.920 think I just feel grateful for it. So I think 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:46.800 that's helped with getting over the I think the shock 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:50.120 and the grief. It's grief losing something that was like 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:52.040 losing it, right, do you think? 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:54.960 I always say, but I don't know how true it is. 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:58.120 It doesn't define no who I am, but does it? 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.680 Well? I always said that too, And I've been watching 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.600 a colleague of ours get sacked a year earlier and 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.400 thinking she was very about to define by it. Oh no, 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:08.920 that won't be me. But it was me. I mean, 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:11.200 all my kids knew me, as was that person on 0:06:11.200 --> 0:06:13.800 the rate. I knew a mother obviously, but I'd always 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:18.680 been that. I didn't realize how much that was part 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:22.520 of me, yes, until it stopped. So, which is really 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:24.680 interesting now because now I work a lot with helping 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:29.480 people regain their identity, like often school moms. When you're 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:32.200 a school mum. When your child glave school, you left 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.440 with a bit of a lack of purpose. What next? 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:37.880 So it's redefining who you are. So I think that's 0:06:37.920 --> 0:06:40.560 what I had to do. But like you, Pats, I said, no, 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:42.479 that's not me. This isn't who I am. But it 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:44.400 is a big part of your life. You give everything, 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:47.400 so of course it's going to be part of your identity. 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:47.920 It has to be. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:50.599 It must have felt quite foreign because I know, if 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.400 we're on survey break and Audrey is still at school 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:56.960 and I'm there for breakfast, which she's. 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:58.440 Not used to me, I get in the way. 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:00.960 I know you're a nuisance when you see ruined the 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:02.480 root I do, and. 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:05.840 She'll say, Mum, it's okay, you just do your own thing, 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:07.320 and I feel very useless. 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:09.440 I know. It's funny, isn't it. It's so funny how 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:12.200 you just realize that they get on quite well without you, 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:14.440 but your home and wanting to be part of it all. 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.160 I know, like back to. 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:18.360 Work, it's not where you fit, mum. You're not in 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:19.600 that part of the jigsaw. 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.760 But that's also isn't that a problem to where when 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.200 you're a working mum, and especially when you're doing Brecky 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.680 radio and you're leaving house at you know, god, god 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:32.840 forsaken hours. You've set them up, You've got It's like 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:34.200 a fine routine, isn't it. 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:35.040 It's like a factory. 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:37.360 Everyone's got their role, they know where they're meant to 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:40.120 be at what time, and you almost do yourself out 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:40.560 of a job. 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:42.880 Well, I just have terrible guilt about not being around 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.920 in the morning. God, yes, But then I realized, especially 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:48.320 as the kid's got a bit older, that the afternoon 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:50.200 was when they needed you because you had a bad 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:51.360 day or whatever. 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:53.440 That's where you always say that to me, that was 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:53.680 the way. 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:58.440 Maybe I was just justifying consult myself. Because I did, 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:00.880 I felt terribly guilt. Yes, I never dropped them off. 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.960 Ever, you miss the assembly, you miss the choir, you 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:08.800 miss the violin assembly, the certificate giving. It's like I 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:11.640 always have pangs of that even now. Bridge It's like, 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:14.720 I look at Audrey, she's thirteen, nearly fourteen. We've only 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:18.320 got maybe four or five years, and you know, they'll 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:20.280 cryst will console me and say, yeah, but look what 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:23.720 you've been able to do for her by exactly working. 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:25.840 But it's not the same sometimes. 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:29.000 Look, Look, I think working is a good thing for mums. 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:29.680 I think it's good. 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:34.120 And unfortunately the work we do, I did you do 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:36.400 does take away that big chunk of the day. But however, 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:38.679 as I always say, you're there for the rest of it, 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:40.080 and you know, it's good that. 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:43.040 Men a toast and sleep, sleep and grumpy. 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.040 Even though you can't talk to them because you're exhausted. 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.160 I mean, I gave my kids barbecue shapes for dinner. 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:50.679 As I think I told you I was so tired 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:54.320 some nights. Oh so yeah, yeah, do what you do. 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:55.959 You do what you do, and everyone does what they do. 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:59.080 I think every mother has guilt, every working mother has guilt, 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.600 and even mothers are at home have guilt. Yes, from 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:03.600 the minute you have a baby, you have guilt. Yep. 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.760 Yeah, it's hard that you get, Oh, you're not going 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.839 back to work, aren't you. I got, oh you're not 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:10.680 going back to work if you know it's taken you 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:12.679 five years to have your baby, now you're going back 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.400 to work. But it's almost Also, why should I stop 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:20.160 being what I do just because I can do well, 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:22.959 we're told we can do everything. But then you're right, 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.680 stay at home mums get Oh you're staying at home. 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:26.760 You can't win. 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:28.760 You can't win, and I think the best way to 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:31.040 do is except the best thing is just to accept 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:32.840 you can't win and do the best at what you're doing. 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:36.040 And you know, just accept that is the way it is. 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:36.800 It's the only awake. 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.120 Yeah, you were so helpful for me as I because 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.160 I think I was back from Matt leave. I think, 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:44.440 wasn't I when I went back to breakfast, So it 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:47.600 certainly helped. You certainly helped get me through those mornings and. 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:49.400 Those I just think it would help to have another 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:51.720 mother in the team too, who understands what it's like 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.120 to leave there. Well, mine worn't babies, but I left 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.920 mine from when they were three months old. Yeah, I 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.480 went back to work. That's hard. You know that I 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:03.199 had ter good with that as well. Anyway, But once 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.080 again you sort of wait up and you think, but 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:07.840 least I can give you this, and that's. 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:08.760 Right, that's right. 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.560 Tell me, how is your work different? Because I guess 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:15.640 you're so. You're such a great orator and talker and 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:20.680 this it flows so beautifully and naturally. But this, I 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:21.960 this must be different for you. 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.360 The biggest thing I had to learn was one of 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:27.640 the best skills you can have in counseling is listening. 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:30.679 Now you and I know that if there's dead air 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:34.120 for one minute, we start talking. Yes, And I've been trained, 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.439 as we all have on radio, to just keep talking, 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:38.760 keep talking, keep talking, because if you stop, it goes 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:40.439 into panic mode and they put music. 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:41.280 Emergency tape goes. 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:45.680 So the biggest skill I've had to learn is sitting 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:50.520 and listening and while they're talking, not being scared of 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.640 dead air, like listen because then they'll keep going. So 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:55.400 that's been the biggest thing. And I don't talk nearly 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:58.000 as much as I used to imagine that, No I did. 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:00.320 I literally sit there and I listen. I listened because also, 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.120 you don't give advice, You just help them try and 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:05.120 work it out for themselves. Yes, because if you give 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:07.720 advice to somebody, if it's the wrong advice, that's a 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:12.720 big thing. So I have really say to myself every 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.320 day two years one mouth, yeah, which used. 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:18.280 To be right all the way around. 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:23.160 So I'm rewired, and that's probably bee the biggest challenge. Yeah. 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.679 Yeah, I'm so proud of you. Do you know what 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.600 you've done for women of our age? In our fifties. 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:29.400 You're so right. 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:30.640 It's like a. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:35.079 Collision sometimes of life. I think your fifties decade for 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:37.959 me going through perimenopause and menopause. I think it's been 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:42.120 an mind that I had cancer in my forties and 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:46.480 fertility problems. I think it's been the most challenging, to 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:47.360 be honest. 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.080 And I don't think anyone prepares you for it. I mean, 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:51.000 no one really prepares you for having a baby either, 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.480 I suppose. But this menopause thing comes in so many 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:59.000 different and everyone's just so different. Is terrifying, isn't it. 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.480 Some of the things it does to you, which it 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:03.719 was funny, not funny, actually was awful. I had a 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.640 quite a young boy, you know, he has to be 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:10.640 about nineteen or something. This was about a few months ago, 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:15.000 and I suddenly started getting the sweats and I was 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:20.000 literally dripping, dripping, and I'm like, it was so embarrassing 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.160 because it's this young boy. I'm not gonna tell sorry, 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.360 I've got menopause. Had it been like a someone else, 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:27.600 I might have. But there was nothing I could do 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:30.400 about it. And I've do you know, it's funny. I've 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.760 been having watched the American election campaign. All I can 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:35.640 do is look at Carmala Harris. I don't know where 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:38.360 she sits in her journey. And I go back to 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:41.560 Hillary Clinton, all these high profile women, How the hell 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:46.920 do they manage menopause if they're getting bad effects from it? 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:48.600 I think about that all the time. 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.240 It's not fair, is it. At times? I can remember 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:53.480 you sitting with a fan in the studio. You had 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:55.160 that fan that plugged the USB thing. 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.560 Yeah, yeah, I still have a fan. I've got this 0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:59.360 group of girlfriends and whenever we go to for dinner, 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:03.280 we bring our hands and we all sit there and honestly, 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.720 everyone else is going, what are they doing? But I don't. 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:11.400 I'm a funny place, actually, because I was very late, right, 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:15.600 funnily enough to actually stopping having all together. Yeah. So, 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:20.880 and I have had not constant symptoms, but the ones 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.400 like I've just described you have come from nowhere. Ye, 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:25.720 and they and the nights where I can't sleep, Oh 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:28.880 my god, it's the worst. Yeah, so bad. Yeah, But 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.760 then it's all just seems to and you know, sometimes 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.640 when you're moody, you can't work out why, whether is 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.160 it that or is it something else? It's hard to know. 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:37.839 You know. 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.560 That's what I find most frustrating about it is And 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:42.400 if you go to a specialist, they can't tell you 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.880 at what point you are in your journey either. 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.080 As I say, to look at your mother, don't they? Yeah, 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:49.080 but my mother had his direct to met very early, 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.880 so it's hard to look at her and say, what's 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.200 your journey because apparently that is quite relevant. 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.680 Well, my mum's eighty eighty one and still getting hot 0:13:57.720 --> 0:13:59.040 flushes the sweats. 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:02.960 It's not fair some people have it. I actually had 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:06.320 a client once again, a woman a bit younger than me, 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:10.520 and it actually ruined her life. She got the worst 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:14.120 symptoms I've ever seen started to affect a marriage. 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:16.920 It's awful, it is what did you? What have you 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:20.240 found helps has helped for you? I did try HRT 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:21.920 for a while when that was going through that. 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.280 That was good. But as I say, then I feel 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:26.600 all fine again, and I think I've been one of 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.720 the lucky ones, to be honest, but just having a 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:34.560 hint of what it's like when it's bad, and for 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:36.720 some people they get that all the time for years on. 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:40.000 It's absolutely horrific and the brain fade. 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:44.040 Yeah, Honestly, the amount of times I've been in the 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:45.800 middle of saying something on air and then I'll just 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:47.920 and I can't think, or I can't think of a word, 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:51.280 and the boys just look at me, and I think, do. 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:53.360 You remember when we were in when we used to 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:55.200 work together and I had that fan going and the 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:58.800 boys used to tease us, tease me unmercifully. And I 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.320 think back now and I think, and I lots of 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:03.720 men are listening to your podcast because men need to 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:07.240 get on board with this totally, and young men, young men, 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:09.600 and be so supportive because it used to be a 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:12.880 joke or she's going through the church and it's actually 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:16.840 so offensive because it is, you know, we go through 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:18.600 so much. And I would love to think that men 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.520 listen to rage against the menopause and think how can 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:22.920 I best support my partner. 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:24.800 I think the tide is turning, you know, Bridge. 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:29.000 I've had so much beautiful feedback from series one last year, 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:32.840 and surprisingly it took me off guard. A lot of 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:36.680 men in their thirties who say thank you for educating me, 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.280 because I had no idea what it was. And they'll say, 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:41.200 you know, I know my mum was going through something, 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.800 but I didn't fully understand it. So thank you for 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:46.800 educating me, and thank you for equipping me for when 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:49.200 my partner in ten or twenty. 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.120 Years goes through. 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:52.960 That's what I've aimed to do in this and to 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:54.960 get the donversation, and you have done a great job 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:55.160 of that. 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:58.000 And I really love that fact that these younger men 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:00.440 are very different to them grew up with. 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:01.640 It can't be. 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:07.520 It's amazing. They're much more in tune with being sympathetic, empathetic, 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:10.440 understanding and not just going on my wife's gating to 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:12.680 you know, all that rubbish we used to get. I 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:16.240 think I've seen a massive change in. I think young 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:19.239 men these days are amazing and it's a credit. 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:21.720 To their mothers and their fathers for bringing up this 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:25.360 new generation of men. You've got Charlie's what now, twenty 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:26.960 twenty five. 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.160 I know he's a grown up, and my daughter's twenty three, Alex, 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:35.520 so I know they're I know they're big, mature people now. Believable, 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:37.560 But I do I've really seen a change in. I 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:39.360 think I was listening to one of your podcasts with 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:43.320 one of an expert she was saying this, the metopause 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:45.680 now is a bit like what mental health was a 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:48.320 few years ago where Noah is not talking and no 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:52.160 one was talking about it. Now it is becoming something. 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:55.800 Thank goodness for you and other people who are tackling it. Yeah, 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:57.880 because it's still a little bit of one of those 0:16:57.920 --> 0:16:58.680 forbiddens up. 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:00.560 Their stigma, which is ridicul It's. 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:02.760 Ridiculous because half the population go through no. 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:05.080 I know, and one third of is it one third 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:05.480 of women? 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:08.320 At any time, I was doing a bit of research 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:11.159 and you were on a wonderful podcast, The Power of Women. 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:13.360 Oh yeah, that was very digillic. 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:16.720 Yeah, of course, and you said something that I think 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.000 a lot of women can relate to. 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:19.760 I'm going to play the audio because. 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:22.880 We were talking to all our girlfriends. We're all fifty plus, say, 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.800 every single one of them has had to go through 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.679 some sort of change transition, whether it be like me 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:31.880 losing a job, my friend losing her husband, empty nest, 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:35.760 the kids have moved out, menopause, feeling invisible. And I 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:39.040 think that age group of women go through such a 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:42.720 lot and the attention is not on them. Nobody seems 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.240 to realize what an invisible age this is. 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:47.720 I love that an invisible age And do. 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:52.240 You know it's so interesting. I've and it is exactly 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:55.000 what I said. They're watching friends, every one of my friends. 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:57.320 Something's going on. Whether it might even be elderly parents 0:17:57.359 --> 0:17:58.120 getting sick. 0:17:58.040 --> 0:17:58.679 That's a big thing. 0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:02.399 Yeah, and there is. I really feel like this group 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.800 of women I put, let's say fifty plus need a 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:08.399 lot more support than what they're getting. I get a 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:10.640 lot of women that age coming into my rooms as well, 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:13.560 and often it is literally I don't know who I am, 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:15.159 I don't know what to do with myself, or I've 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:17.560