1 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: It's their Happy Family's podcast Richard Marx q pac No kids, 2 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,479 Speaker 1: Well you and me go to a rich Marx concert, 3 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: my honey. 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 2: At least I get to do it next year. 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: You know how at the start of the podcast, Jr. 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 1: Always puts the best part of the podcast right there 7 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: that I think is a big quote. If he doesn't 8 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,280 Speaker 1: do it, he didn't think it was as good as 9 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,119 Speaker 1: you and I did. And now here's the stars of 10 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: our show, my mum and dad. Hello, this is doctor 11 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,479 Speaker 1: Justin Colson, the founder of Happy Families dot com dot you. 12 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 1: I've been such a good mood today because it's Friday. 13 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: But do you know what I'm really excited about, Kylie? 14 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: I think I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well that's because 15 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: you heard me cuing a few things up and getting 16 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: ready here on on YouTube. Right. So when you say, 17 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: what what do we what? 18 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 2: A I I'm being dragged along to a concert night? 19 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: So are we going to a concert tonight? I'm so 20 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: excited we go to a concert? And how excited are you? 21 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 2: Concerts aren't really my thing? 22 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: Oh? Come on, but what about this song? Do you remember? 23 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: Do you remember when we were dating? I'm sure I 24 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: must have sung this to you you remember this song? 25 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:07,559 Speaker 2: Remember? 26 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, So, folks, we are going to see Richard Marx 27 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: tonight at Q Pak Boom. 28 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 2: Remember this. 29 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: It's going to be so great. I cannot wait. This 30 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: is what parenting is all about, having a night off 31 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: from the kids. Soep, you are going to get into trouble. 32 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 2: Tickets dim cost you half as much as Billy Joel. 33 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: We're going to be hearing great songs like this. Remember, 34 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:38,399 Speaker 1: Richard Marx is amazing, big hair a great stuff. You're 35 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: my favorite song of all the Richard Marks songs. Though, 36 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: tell me, I have a guess. Can you remember the 37 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,960 Speaker 1: what do you think would be the best one? I 38 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: love right here waiting great stuff. You're not You're not guessing. 39 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: You're looking at me like you don't know any of 40 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: your songs, so you can't possibly guess about this one. 41 00:01:54,640 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: This one. I'm sad. I love this one Hazard and 42 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: you know what I love about this song? You just 43 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: don't know what happened? I know was what's so devastating? 44 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: I mean, he's he's singing this song and he sounds 45 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: like such a nice guy. But was he a creep? 46 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: Or is he just the scapegoat? Did something bad happen. 47 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: I'm so excited tonight. I'm so palmed. This is like 48 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: a I get to relive my mid to late adolescents, 49 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: early adolescents. I can't even remember what years it was, 50 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: but Richard Marx Q pack no kids. 51 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 2: Well you and me baby to a Richard Mark's concept. 52 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 2: My honey, at least I get to do it next 53 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 2: to you. 54 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: That might be the line of the day. I think 55 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: that that needs to be our A big quote. Like 56 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: you know how at the start of the podcast, Jr. 57 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 1: Always puts the best part of the podcast right there 58 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: that I think is he's if he doesn't do it, 59 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 1: he didn't think it was as good as you and 60 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: I did as well as I did anyway. Hey, so 61 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: that's that's enough personal news for now. We've got some 62 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: more big news. We're going to talk more about this 63 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 1: next week. But we have a daughter who's about to 64 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 1: leave home, like literally leave home and move as far 65 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 1: away about it you can. 66 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 2: We've got three more sleeps. 67 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,519 Speaker 1: Yeah, other side of the world. Do a number two. 68 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: She's about to fly the nest. 69 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 2: Well, she might be doing a number two, but we've 70 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 2: not had a child do something this speak. 71 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,679 Speaker 1: Well, I first thought it got married at nineteen that 72 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: was pretty big. But this one, yes, but she lived 73 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: ten minutes away from this one at the age of twenty, 74 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: is flying to England for eighteen months. So we'll talk all. 75 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 2: Just put this into perspective because I'm really a little 76 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,239 Speaker 2: bit nervous. She's got to get on a plane here 77 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 2: in Marucci door and fly to Sydney. But from Sydney 78 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 2: she then has to go to the international airport or 79 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:38,119 Speaker 2: by herself and get on a flight to go to Katar. Yeah, 80 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 2: and once she's in Qatar, she then has to find 81 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 2: herself on another airplane to get all the way to Manchester. 82 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: It's so exciting, so exciting, I'm not. 83 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 2: Sure she's going to even make it. I'm really nervous. 84 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: Well today for Alder, but it's tomorrow. I want to 85 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: talk about that daughter and the experiences that we've had. 86 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: And I had a wake up call. I guess I 87 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: had this eye opening moment on Sunday. So for those 88 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: of you who have missed the news, our daughter is 89 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: going to spend eighteen months as a missionary for our 90 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 1: church in the United Kingdom and doing all sorts of 91 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: missionary work and service work. And I think it's going 92 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: to be such a good thing. One of the challenges 93 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: that you have as a parent as your kids grow 94 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 1: up is it's really hard to see them as anything 95 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: other than your kid, the one who fights with their 96 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 1: sisters or brothers and has a big sook when the 97 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: dishes need to be done, or mind you, this daughter 98 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: is really good with the dishes. But I'm just using 99 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 1: these as examples. We see this child as the obstinate one, 100 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: or the one who doesn't know how to take anything 101 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: seriously or can't possibly take everything. Yeah, I can't possibly 102 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: live without our oversight and our guidance. And that's kind 103 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: of I mean, she's my little girl. She might be 104 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: our second daughter, and she's definitely an adult. She's been working, 105 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: and over the last couple of years, Kylie, I've found 106 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: that I have underestimated her with the very best of intention. 107 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: Multiple times. I've seen what she's done as she's finished school, 108 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: got through school really well, and then done the things 109 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 1: that she's done since school. And now she's doing this, 110 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: and she's blown me away. Every time I've paused and 111 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: taken a good look at Holy smakes, look at this kid. 112 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: Go on Sunday in our church congregation. She was asked 113 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: to stand up and address I don't know, two hundred 114 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: and fifty three hundred people for fifteen minutes. She was 115 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: asked to give a fifteen minute talk about her preparations 116 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: and things that she holds really dear. And she spent 117 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 1: some time on Saturday morning putting some thoughts together, and 118 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: I asked her she needed a hand. She said, no, 119 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 1: I've got it, and I was thinking, hang on, I'm 120 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: the professional speaker here, like you need my help, but 121 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: I didn't push. She said I've got it, and I said, okay, well, 122 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 1: let's just hope that she doesn't crash and burn. She 123 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: stood up in front of that congregation and spoke for 124 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:54,479 Speaker 1: fifteen sixteen minutes and was extraordinary. And I'm not saying 125 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 1: that as a completely subjective, emotionally involved father. I'm pretty impartial, 126 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: pretty disinclined to give praise to people who give talks, 127 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: because it's really rare to find somebody who will give 128 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 1: a great talk. She did such a great job that 129 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 1: when she finished, I thought to myself, I think she 130 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,719 Speaker 1: just gave the perfect talk. Like there is literally nothing 131 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: that I want to say to her about what she 132 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: could have done better. She just did such a great job. 133 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: And I told her that. I just said, I'm not 134 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: into praise. I'm not into making you feel good just 135 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: because i'm your dad and I'm supposed to you know 136 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: that I'll tell you if I liked it and if 137 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 1: I didn't like it, And I just said, I can't 138 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: think of anything you could have done better. That was 139 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,840 Speaker 1: absolutely brilliant. And again I just sat there, Kylie, and 140 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 1: I thought, so often we think to ourselves about our kids. 141 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: Are they not ready or I haven't prepared them well enough, 142 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: or this or that, or oh, my goodness, I hope 143 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: they're not going to go out there and make a 144 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,479 Speaker 1: full of themselves or are full of me, or any 145 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: of those things. And I am concerned that she can't cook. 146 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: I am concerned that she's not going to do the 147 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: washing the right way or all of those adult things 148 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: that you just But she can learn those once she's 149 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: out there, once she living life. 150 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 2: There's nothing like real life experience. Yeah, yeah, to teach 151 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 2: us the things that we need to learn at the 152 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 2: right time. 153 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: I was just so blown away. I was so blown 154 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: away by this kid, and for all of the ups 155 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: and downs of parenting and all of the times where 156 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: I think, oh my goodness, I might be a parenting expert. 157 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: I'm done. This is so hard. I'm sick of the kids. 158 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 1: I want to have some time away. This was just outstanding, 159 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: And that's my old do Better tomorrow. Just I guess 160 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: we have to keep on doing what we're doing because 161 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: it's working out. Okay. We just don't see it when 162 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: we're in the moment, But when we see the kids 163 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: in a different context, when they're not being our kids, 164 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: when they're being people in society, when they're at a 165 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: friend's house, or when they're at school, when they're down 166 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: at the park or whatever it is, that's when we 167 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: get to see who they really are. Not when they're 168 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: in the living room and they're squabbling with their sister 169 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: about who ate somebody's last piece of chocolate. That's not 170 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: what really shows who they are. It's the stuff they're 171 00:07:56,160 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: doing out there. And I just feel so grateful. What's 172 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: your old do better tomorrow? As we get all set 173 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: for our concert tonight. 174 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 2: Well, in contrast to that, I've had a pretty tough week. 175 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 2: I've been physically unwell for much of the week. 176 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: And you're coming off the back of me having a 177 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: couple of lousy weeks. Do you know how I got 178 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: over my lousy couple of weeks? Two things. First of all, 179 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: you treated me like there was nothing wrong. That made 180 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: a huge difference. And secondly, after two weeks of languishing 181 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: and just thinking, heck, I'm a well being expert, I'm 182 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,559 Speaker 1: a parenting expert. I'm supposed to know how this works. 183 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: I just decided that I was going to pretend that 184 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 1: everything was fine, and by pretending, actually suddenly got better. 185 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 2: So fake it till you make it. 186 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, kind of yeah, faked. That's not clinical psychological advice. 187 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: There's a lot more work that needs to be done 188 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: for people who are dealing with depression and anxiety and 189 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: so on, but sometimes that's actually all you need. Just 190 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: fake it till you make it. I bounced back like 191 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: I came good in in phenomenal ways because I faked 192 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: it till I made it. Even in relation to a 193 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: couple of bigger issues and a couple of big relationships, 194 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: I just pretended they were fine and they actually became fine. 195 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: Like they're not perfect, there's still stuff, but they're fine. Anyway, 196 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: I cut you off. So you've had a tough tough week, 197 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: and you've been sick for a few days, which makes 198 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: it worse. 199 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 2: And so the mood kind of for me has shifted, 200 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 2: and I was feeling quite low, and then the lead 201 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 2: up to Sunday was feeling pretty depleted emotionally and physically, 202 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 2: and I ended up calling my dad and asking him 203 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 2: to pop over and just spend some time with me. 204 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 1: And when you say you called your dad and us 205 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: then to pop over, he lives an hour and forty 206 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: minutes away with your mum. I like that they lived together, 207 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: but your mum wasn't well enough to come, so your 208 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: dad just jumped in the car and said, sure, I'll 209 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: come and spend an hour and forty minutes with you. 210 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: He did, well, I'll drive for an hour and forty 211 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 1: minutes so that I can spend some time with you. 212 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 2: And so because of the timing of his day, we 213 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 2: actually attended church together and you know, relished in the 214 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 2: opportunity to see our daughter just blossom, really blossom. Yeah, 215 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,439 Speaker 2: it was. It was interesting because their oldest sister actually 216 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 2: looked at me that afternoon and she said, did I 217 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 2: actually just literally witness Abby grow up today? She was 218 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 2: personally blown away at who was standing in front of 219 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 2: her and the things that she shared and just the 220 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 2: confidence that her challenges have actually given her. Yeah, and 221 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 2: it was really beautiful to witness. So coming off the 222 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 2: back of that and still feeling quite low and just 223 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 2: really needing to be with my dad, I sat with 224 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 2: him for a little bit of time and kind of 225 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,800 Speaker 2: offloaded would be the best words. Just had a big 226 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 2: cry and this. 227 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: Is what has been like being married justin. 228 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 2: But I just I pose the question is it really 229 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 2: worth it? Like I feel like I have given the 230 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 2: very best of everything I am and everything I'm capable 231 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 2: of doing and being, and yet the kids still fight 232 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:02,319 Speaker 2: like crazy and the bickering is just intense, and their 233 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 2: unwillingness to help when I need it, and the list 234 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 2: is just a mile long. And I just had got 235 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 2: to the point where I kind of felt, you know what, 236 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 2: I actually don't want to carry this anymore. It just 237 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 2: feels too heavy. And the interesting thing is, over the years, 238 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 2: as I've spent many hours with my dad is it's 239 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 2: not usually anything he says. It's just that I feel 240 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 2: enveloped in love in those moments. And as I watched 241 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 2: him start to process, I recognize that there was actually 242 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 2: two things going on for him in that moment. He 243 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 2: was trying to process my pain while he actually relived 244 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 2: his own as a parent. To be a parent means 245 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 2: that you pretty much wear your heart on the outside 246 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 2: all the time, and it has the potential to break 247 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 2: a million times over so many different ways and for 248 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 2: so many different reasons. 249 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: But to just know that, well. 250 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 2: My dad couldn't fix it, he could love me and 251 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 2: he could understand, and he could sit with me in 252 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 2: that space was such a gift. And so I guess 253 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 2: the take home for me is remembering that my relationship 254 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 2: with my dad has never been perfect. It has been 255 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: fraught with challenge, and there have been emptying fights over 256 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 2: the years, and you know, disharmony and discord and real 257 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 2: honest challenge. But when the going gets tough, he's my 258 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 2: safe harbor. He's the place that I want to go 259 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 2: because I know that the turbulence seeds can't reach me 260 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 2: in that space. And if he can do that for 261 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 2: me in spite of all of my weakness with my 262 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,560 Speaker 2: own children, hopefully I can be that person for them. Now. 263 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 2: They think they're big kids and they're capable of doing 264 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,959 Speaker 2: life on their own and that's what they're supposed to 265 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 2: be doing. But there will come a time where the 266 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 2: seas will get too much and if they only know that, well, 267 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,680 Speaker 2: I can't fix it that they can come home to 268 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 2: a place of love that I think I've succeeded as 269 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 2: a parent. 270 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: That's my takeover, Kylie. I really love that that story, 271 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 1: and I'm grateful they shared it. It also reminds me 272 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,240 Speaker 1: of all the times where I get it wrong, where 273 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,040 Speaker 1: I'm not the cool dad, where I'm not the patient dad, 274 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,880 Speaker 1: where I'm anything but, and it's a great reminder for 275 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 1: how we can be better. The Happy Family's podcast is 276 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 1: produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is 277 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: our executive producer. Hey, we really hope that you have 278 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,200 Speaker 1: a great weekend. We are definitely going to have a 279 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: great weekend because Richard Marx tonight. I can't wait for that, 280 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,319 Speaker 1: and I'm hoping that tomorrow we're not going to be 281 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: so tired that we can't be great parents for the weekend. 282 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: Have a great weekend, everyone, Thanks so much for listening 283 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 1: to Happy Family's podcast. If you would like more information 284 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: about how to make your family happier, you can find 285 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,679 Speaker 1: it all at happy families dot com, dot a you