Speaker 1: Got some player.
Speaker 2: Yes, sneeze, Yeah, bless Hugh.
Speaker 1: I felt good. I fucking love a sneeze.
Speaker 2: A good sneeze, a good brain clearer love it.
Speaker 1: I'm back. Welcome back to two doting dads. I'm Maddie
Speaker 1: Jay and I'm Ash. This happens to be a podcast
Speaker 1: that is all about parenting. It's the good, the bad,
Speaker 1: and the relatable. And for legal reasons, we do have
Speaker 1: to just say here, let me read the script. If
Speaker 1: you have come for any type of advice, stop right now.
Speaker 1: None will be given whatsoever. And if you do hear
Speaker 1: anything that remotely sounds like advice, ignore it. It's a
Speaker 1: shame that we're not on a cruise ship.
Speaker 2: I know, but do you know we can make ourselves
Speaker 2: feel like we are on a cruise ship.
Speaker 1: Go on.
Speaker 2: We are currently drinking a stone and wood.
Speaker 1: It's in a.
Speaker 2: Can this time.
Speaker 1: Close my eyes. I'm on the balcony. Tony off. Ah,
Speaker 1: I'm almost there.
Speaker 2: I'm there, almost there, nice blue screens around us.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is great. There's nothing that hits harder
Speaker 1: than drinking a stone and wood. Pacific aale on looking
Speaker 1: at the ocean.
Speaker 2: Oh, it was beautiful.
Speaker 1: That is a match made in heaven.
Speaker 2: But that being said, we can't have it all today,
Speaker 2: but we do have Barron Bay in a bottle or
Speaker 2: today Barron Bay in a can. And of course it's
Speaker 2: got fruity hops, cloudy haze and a nice refreshing finish. Now,
Speaker 2: what do you have for me over there? So because
Speaker 2: you've got a nice smile on your face.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm a bit of a sucker for like
Speaker 1: any little fact nuggett. Yes, I've got one for you.
Speaker 1: We often talk about the Galaxy Hops from Tasmania. They
Speaker 1: give it it's nice fruity aromas. It's also it's partly
Speaker 1: grown in Victoria, partly grown in Tasmania. And this was
Speaker 1: once an experimental hop until Brad he's one of the
Speaker 1: original co founders. He came along and he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm going to play with this. So fast forward ten years.
Speaker 1: Everyone now is jumping on the Galaxy Hops. Everyone after
Speaker 1: Brad had a little play with it bomb everywhere.
Speaker 2: Else, every care as long as Stone would have it
Speaker 2: in their pacific, I'm a happy man.
Speaker 1: So they say here as well, Ash for those playing
Speaker 1: at home, they dry the hop with Galaxy at the
Speaker 1: late stages of fermentation. Creating the beer's unique tropical fruit aroma.
Speaker 1: Dry it with the galaxy. I need to look into that.
Speaker 1: How does that work? How are you guys doing it?
Speaker 1: Doing that?
Speaker 2: Do you have access to the galaxy? When you get
Speaker 2: the milky way you've got Yeah, you've got to hire it.
Speaker 2: Got to hire it, kenneth in. But of course we'd
Speaker 2: like to thank Stink and would. We'd love to thank
Speaker 2: Stone and Would of course for making this episode possible.
Speaker 1: Cheers, cheers. One's already half empty. M Can I ask
Speaker 1: Counts Oscar?
Speaker 2: Look if any strange men walk past? He's quivering?
Speaker 1: Has he asked about me? Not at all? Nothing at all.
Speaker 2: He's at the moment he is a bit dictated on
Speaker 2: missing mummy because mummy is away for work.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, yeah, no, she is away for work.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't do that. How many she sees this?
Speaker 2: Me doing this? Never get sex again?
Speaker 1: I love how like when we're working, we're like overseas somewhere,
Speaker 1: and April's like, actually like working hard in the corporate world,
Speaker 1: and you're like, is that work? She is?
Speaker 2: She's working very hard. If she's listening, very hard, very
Speaker 2: proud of her. She's down to Parliament House. At the moment,
Speaker 2: she's running for prime minister. She is good luck. The
Speaker 2: plan to take over the country has started. So no,
Speaker 2: she's down there working for a couple of days. So
Speaker 2: of course I'm the primary care parent, Karen. Fuck is
Speaker 2: wrong with me today?
Speaker 1: Are you okay? You having a stroke? Maybe you're ruling.
Speaker 2: I'm sweating. I am the primary parent. And what does
Speaker 2: a primary parent do? They get their mum into help.
Speaker 2: That's the way to do it. So mum came down
Speaker 2: for a couple of days because we're very busy men.
Speaker 1: We are very busy men. And your your mother, mother
Speaker 1: Mary is lovely.
Speaker 2: It's her birthday today. It's a birthday. Yes, happy birthday
Speaker 2: sixty two. And she said to me this one as
Speaker 2: he goes, I don't give a fuck about it, and
Speaker 2: old I was like, good, who you are?
Speaker 1: She's young, she's fit, she's vibrant. I are you trying
Speaker 1: to fund my mouth? No? What I saw her and
Speaker 1: the I don't want to know where one piece swim suit?
Speaker 1: And can I just say, whatever she's doing, keep it up, Mary,
Speaker 1: because that looks great, that looks shut. No complain. Wayne
Speaker 1: is a lucky man. Oh my god, that's Wayne's dad.
Speaker 1: Is she a good n Yeah, she's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah. She doesn't get to see the kids near as
Speaker 2: much because they do live in Queensland and we're in Sydney.
Speaker 2: So any chance I can be like, hey, I'll fly
Speaker 2: you down, spend a couple of days, spend some time
Speaker 2: with the kids. She's happy to jump at that because
Speaker 2: also my niece, my sister's daughter, lives in Sydney as well,
Speaker 2: so she gets to see her as well. So it's
Speaker 2: like it works out. But there's some things that she
Speaker 2: can't help with, like kids wanting mum wanting dad, and
Speaker 2: we were really busy. Mum's sleeping in our bedroom and
Speaker 2: I'm sleeping on the floor in the kids bedroom. In hindsight,
Speaker 2: probably wasn't the best couple of nights of sleep I've
Speaker 2: ever had.
Speaker 1: On the floor. What's your setup?
Speaker 2: You got like a mattress, a mattress right next to
Speaker 2: Oscar's bed.
Speaker 1: So the kids must love that though, the must think
Speaker 1: it's novelty that Dad's on the floor.
Speaker 2: Totally. That's the problem. So the first thing is I'm
Speaker 2: trying to get them into bed, and they both want
Speaker 2: to sleep in my bed, but I'm not going to
Speaker 2: bed yet because the sun's still up.
Speaker 1: It's like six thirty.
Speaker 2: I'd love to trust me, and I'm a busy man,
Speaker 2: like clean the house, and so I've got to have
Speaker 2: the meltdown of them not being able To'm like, get
Speaker 2: into your cot Macy put her in there, Oscar into
Speaker 2: his bed, and I'm like, don't get into my bed.
Speaker 2: You can get into my bed later. If you wake
Speaker 2: up in the middle of the night you want to cuddle,
Speaker 2: you can get in again. That's a big mistake. He's bony,
Speaker 2: and he's so oh yeah, he's yeah, he's he's so skinny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he is.
Speaker 2: Honestly, like I've seen more body fat on a skeleton.
Speaker 2: He is fucking tiny, and.
Speaker 1: He's just he's a ribcage when we took a shirt off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as soon as I get I'm not starving him,
Speaker 2: by the way, that's his health choice and dietary choices.
Speaker 2: Literally straight away. As soon as I get into bed
Speaker 2: at like nine o'clock last night. Bit later, obviously, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm not get to get into bed. And then it's
Speaker 2: a single mattress, so he's just like falling off the mattress,
Speaker 2: getting back up then Macey's waking up. She wants to
Speaker 2: get in the mat. Then she's shaken on the fucking
Speaker 2: thing and it's like on the cot ah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's in like the prison set.
Speaker 2: She's like, she's like just getting the cuddle she wants
Speaker 2: it to.
Speaker 1: So for two.
Speaker 2: Nights, I like, the sleep has been dreadful.
Speaker 1: And I mean this in the nicest way possible. You
Speaker 1: look a little tired, thank you today. That's the look
Speaker 1: I'm going for. I'm going for tired. I'm going for
Speaker 1: tired dad. Actually it's really working. When does April come back?
Speaker 2: She's back tonight, Well this afternoon.
Speaker 1: How do you think the kids are going to go?
Speaker 1: When you take the mattress back out?
Speaker 2: That's going to be another problem in itself because now
Speaker 2: Macey's like and you know what she's like. She doesn't
Speaker 2: really say anything. She's points and I'm meant to know
Speaker 2: what that fucking means. She means get in that bed,
Speaker 2: like otherwise I'm not going to lay down. So the
Speaker 2: amount of times I had to poke my head last
Speaker 2: nar and the night before being like down, She's like
Speaker 2: head down and then two seconds after.
Speaker 1: Here you're like that day you remember you remember before
Speaker 1: we started recording. Your sister said you shouldn't get so
Speaker 1: aggressive to the kids. I'm going to pretend you and
Speaker 1: say that.
Speaker 2: But so April's back tonight, and April she faced times.
Speaker 2: When you're away, right, and you're away, there's a lot
Speaker 2: of face time going on so that you can see
Speaker 2: each other. The kids remember that you exist. Whenever I
Speaker 2: FaceTime when we were away, they didn't give a shit.
Speaker 2: April facetimes and they're fucking dancing in the bath like whoa.
Speaker 1: It's like she's gott to coax them into giving you
Speaker 1: like second of their time on the screen.
Speaker 2: And then I'm like, all right, say goodbye to moment
Speaker 2: because I'm like, you're just distracting. I want to put
Speaker 2: these kids to bed, meltdown. And she goes, she's talking
Speaker 2: to me on loud speaking. She goes, can you make
Speaker 2: sure that they're away late tomorrow? Because she gets home
Speaker 2: she see, then.
Speaker 1: How late do we talk?
Speaker 2: So now Oscar's like, am I staying up late tonight?
Speaker 2: This is all morning? And I'm like, no, you're going
Speaker 2: to get a bed earlier. Out of spite what I'll
Speaker 2: keep him up for a bit, but otherwise I've got
Speaker 2: to wait for her to get home and deal with
Speaker 2: the cranky kids.
Speaker 1: Just put the TV on like you normally do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cool, right, promise you're welcome anyway. That's my
Speaker 2: week so far. And look, I'm happy to have April
Speaker 2: back because the house is a mess. I haven't been
Speaker 2: able to get around doing anything. Mum's helped out in
Speaker 2: the you know where she can help out. You're doing
Speaker 2: a great job, mate. Hey, that's all I wanted to do.
Speaker 1: You're keeping things afloat. You're doing well. I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1: Into sarcasm there, none at all, No, no, whatsoever. Right,
Speaker 1: you're doing very well.
Speaker 2: Good? What about you? Sorry? Enough about me.
Speaker 1: We almost lost Nana. Oh not Nana, not paul Ellie.
Speaker 1: We almost lost that.
Speaker 2: Like how she's very slow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the problem.
Speaker 2: That's the problem me, sir.
Speaker 1: When we arrived back in Sydney, because for those wondering,
Speaker 1: we finished in Brisbane, we had to fly back to
Speaker 1: Sydney on the Saturday. And then she made the mistake
Speaker 1: of saying once we arrived off the plane in Sydney
Speaker 1: airport and she went, well that was pretty painless. She
Speaker 1: was like, nothing went wrong, And I was like, why
Speaker 1: would you say that, Why would you you just you're
Speaker 1: now just inviting, you've invited.
Speaker 2: It's in a TV show movie. Surely it can't get
Speaker 2: it any worse, and it fucking immediately gets worse.
Speaker 1: That's the universe going, what's that you want us to
Speaker 1: function up?
Speaker 2: Say it again?
Speaker 1: I was like, mum, why would you say that? She
Speaker 1: was like, what, Well, we're like we're back home now,
Speaker 1: we're still we're closed, we're on the home stretch. Just
Speaker 1: leave it. So we were all looking to get the
Speaker 1: bags right. And for anyone who doesn't know Sydney Airport,
Speaker 1: you come through the security gates, so like once you
Speaker 1: go past the security gates, they shut behind you.
Speaker 2: And then those ones that.
Speaker 1: Like automatic doors deal with that's to make sure that
Speaker 1: people can't go back in without going through security. Oh okay, yep,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Not no, No, I'm no expert.
Speaker 2: Well I'm no security exp education done tick because I've
Speaker 2: learned something.
Speaker 1: And then from that point on there's an escalator that
Speaker 1: goes down one level underground and that's where you collect
Speaker 1: your bags. Yeah, I'm with your I was in front.
Speaker 1: I had Lola in the little pram yep and she
Speaker 1: was in front of me. So I was like leaning
Speaker 1: the prem back on the escalator. The escalator was steps
Speaker 1: going down. So, Lola, it's illegal, you know that, is it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So I'm going down the escalator, Lola in front of me,
Speaker 1: tilted back in the pram. Behind me is Nana and Marley.
Speaker 1: And Marley's at an a now where she's very particular
Speaker 1: about doing things herself. She doesn't like having a hand
Speaker 1: held getting on the escalator's as well. Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to do it. I've got this. Everyone relaxed. I've got
Speaker 1: this covered, no big deal. And I'm in front. I
Speaker 1: know that Nana's got Marley covered. Behind me, maybe like
Speaker 1: just before we get to the halfway point going down
Speaker 1: the escalator, I hear a noise. I'm like, what fuck?
Speaker 1: A turn behind me she is tumbling down down.
Speaker 2: The escalator escalator, Your mumm.
Speaker 1: Is she's coming for me. She's like she's falling gass
Speaker 1: over tip boom. She missed the step. So Marley, when
Speaker 1: she got on, she took a step on had a
Speaker 1: split second where she panicked and then one foot started
Speaker 1: going on the escalator. The other one was stationary on
Speaker 1: the platform. So she was kind of doing thing doing
Speaker 1: the splits. She starts like panicking, Mum, split second decision,
Speaker 1: trying to rescue Marley by like bending down and like
Speaker 1: carrying her up.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Mom's quite unsteady on her feet at the moment.
Speaker 1: She's kind of said that recently, like stairs, she's got
Speaker 1: bad foot. We saw it on the cruise ship. You
Speaker 1: tap her, you blow on her, and she top.
Speaker 2: Legs.
Speaker 1: Yeah. She like, as she went to pick up Marley,
Speaker 1: she fucking fell, dude, she like, not just fell. She
Speaker 1: tried to correct herself, but as she corrected herself, she
Speaker 1: launched out and like the stud as she was like
Speaker 1: hitting the escalator, and she had her purse with her,
Speaker 1: so the purse went flying. Sunglasses are out, wallet's gone out,
Speaker 1: cards are gone everywhere, her phone's gone. And hit someone
Speaker 1: in the holy shit. And luckily there's a guy there
Speaker 1: standing in between mum and myself and he stopped her
Speaker 1: and he also picked up Marley. I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my good. So I couldn't do anything because I was
Speaker 1: I was trapped with the trot the pram.
Speaker 2: I can just imagine your Your mum gets startled at
Speaker 2: the best of times when you say to Matt's mum,
Speaker 2: you say hey, like if we're just we're sitting here
Speaker 2: like exactly that this is, and you go, hey, Ellie,
Speaker 2: we're just going to move table. She'd like, what what's
Speaker 2: happening now? What are we doing?
Speaker 1: She flips on her back and she's like like a turtle.
Speaker 2: I can imagine her like that started. I was when
Speaker 2: I didn't see the other day. She looked frightened.
Speaker 1: Because she's heard the stories about you. Okay, right, she said,
Speaker 1: don't leave me alone with ash in the room.
Speaker 2: What happens between me and your mom in a room
Speaker 2: is nunny.
Speaker 1: I was like, she's broken a hip. I'm like, she's
Speaker 1: That's how people in her age die. That's that's how
Speaker 1: it happens.
Speaker 2: They break your hip, get pneumonia, and die in hospital.
Speaker 2: Such a sad story happens day in day out. Not
Speaker 2: to be morbid or anything.
Speaker 1: It's escalators, the biggest killer of old people, the silent
Speaker 1: killer of this country. There needs to be more wealthy.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know I would.
Speaker 1: Have checked on it.
Speaker 3: Why.
Speaker 1: So we got off and I put it. I sat
Speaker 1: it down and I wasn't. I was like, I thought
Speaker 1: we're gonna go to go to the hospital. Oh, I
Speaker 1: thought she knocked herself in the head like I was.
Speaker 1: She was like my leg and I was expecting her
Speaker 1: to lift her skirt up and it'd be like cut
Speaker 1: open because because it's they're sharp sharp.
Speaker 2: And she ever fallen on an escalator before, never had
Speaker 2: Holy fuck it heard, I got it. I made the
Speaker 2: mind a really really really funny story. He he got
Speaker 2: kicked out of a out of a r s L
Speaker 2: club that had an escalator escalator, a really long one
Speaker 2: to get to the exit out. They've been like, get down,
Speaker 2: get out of here, whatever. And the CCTV footage we've
Speaker 2: managed to get hold of and you see him and.
Speaker 1: He's he's laying on the escalator all the way down.
Speaker 2: There is on the CCTV who's the security guards behind him?
Speaker 2: Gets up, starts to like do a break dance at
Speaker 2: the bottom with the escalator and then just take Actually,
Speaker 2: that's I need to get that footage. It's really great.
Speaker 2: But I've fallen on the same set of escalators at
Speaker 2: the at that pub rs L and fuck on.
Speaker 1: The shin man, it's no good. They'd like so.
Speaker 2: Serrated it's like a serrated nine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But whoever's designed escalators do better?
Speaker 2: Death wish make them out of rubber.
Speaker 1: Yeah, make them like slider. I guess you know. I'm
Speaker 1: no engineer, but there's got to be a better way.
Speaker 1: There has to be. Yeah, well it has to be.
Speaker 2: Call some strings, call some people.
Speaker 1: It was a miracle.
Speaker 2: I've been on the world's longest escalator. Do you know
Speaker 2: that that's a this is the fact, is not a joke.
Speaker 1: You I'll pretend like I'm interested. You tell me that story.
Speaker 1: Go on.
Speaker 2: I was in Hong Kong and they have like the
Speaker 2: world's longest escalator and you go all the way up
Speaker 2: beside of the mountain that goes into the clouds and
Speaker 2: there's a big viewing deck. Anyway, now back to.
Speaker 1: What can we take your word for it, Let's go
Speaker 1: to Google. Tell me more about For the record, anyone
Speaker 1: who is worried Nana Johnson safe and sound is Europe.
Speaker 1: She's going to Europe tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, And that was
Speaker 1: the big concern. She was like, fuck, she's going away
Speaker 1: to France for two months, two months and this is
Speaker 1: this is always had a dream as she always had
Speaker 1: a dream, which was she taught herself French watching like
Speaker 1: SBS and those weird pornos that are on it, like
Speaker 1: one in the morning. Another ones. Her dream was when
Speaker 1: she retired, she was going to go to some little
Speaker 1: province in France. Nice little French boy and a bake.
Speaker 1: If she messages me and says, I've found a French
Speaker 1: man in the countryside legs and so she's going to
Speaker 1: learn French staying in some little chateau in the countryside.
Speaker 1: And she was like, I'm not going to be able
Speaker 1: to go, but thankfully.
Speaker 2: She can find a little French boarder carry around.
Speaker 1: Surely. I mean, one can only hope.
Speaker 2: One can only So she's fine, she's fine, she's leaving.
Speaker 2: How long is you going for?
Speaker 1: Two months? Okay? Two months? So it will be weird
Speaker 1: to then have, you know, no Nanna in the house anything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because she's a resident. She has she's retired, she has
Speaker 1: moved in with us. She's now leaving us, and I've
Speaker 1: just I've just gotten used to her being around.
Speaker 2: It used to break.
Speaker 1: Does your mom ever, like does she do things around
Speaker 1: the house for example, Like my mom doesn't use a
Speaker 1: dish washer. She washes everything by hand. That's old school,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are you doing? Like we have
Speaker 1: technology for this. She's there like lighting a fire in
Speaker 1: the backyard for hot water, and we have a kettle.
Speaker 2: It was thirty degrees yesterday and Mum put all the
Speaker 2: washing in the dryer. Not made of fucking money, Jesus. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I'm glad that your mom's okay, and we will miss her. Earie,
Speaker 2: we will miss you. I will miss you the most.
Speaker 2: Matthew Ka is bringing all the treats this easter long
Speaker 2: we can with an action packed lineup of all your
Speaker 2: favorite sports.
Speaker 1: I don't know how much you love sport. I could
Speaker 1: have been a professional athlete. I've always said that I
Speaker 1: am such a waste of talent. I still watch you
Speaker 1: of anything. I watched the games and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: could do that. I could do that.
Speaker 2: I think, why don't they run between their legs more?
Speaker 1: But do you know how? I just quickly do you
Speaker 1: know who I saw? And I was like, how is
Speaker 1: he younger than me? Dale Fanukan? Oh have you seen him?
Speaker 1: Do you know how old he is? Twenty seven? He's
Speaker 1: thirty two, he's thirty two.
Speaker 2: Well it looks old.
Speaker 1: To men like Dale Fanucan is out there playing for.
Speaker 2: You. Could do it. I could do it.
Speaker 1: Not too late.
Speaker 2: But what do we got coming up?
Speaker 1: Man? We got boxing pay per view, Zoo versus Fundora
Speaker 1: live and Ash. We had a little session with Zoo
Speaker 1: while he that guy, he can he knows what he's doing.
Speaker 1: He knows his way around a pair of boxing. They
Speaker 1: or may not have broken Rip. My prediction got to
Speaker 1: support surely he'll take a win.
Speaker 2: You can order that now on main Event with Caro Sports.
Speaker 2: No KO subscription needed for that one, Matt.
Speaker 1: And we've also got AFL games. We have the big
Speaker 1: Grand Final rematches between Brisbane and Collingwood on Thursday.
Speaker 2: Come on Brisbane, Yes, and you alright? We've got Esid
Speaker 2: and Ens and Killer on the Saturday, and then the
Speaker 2: NL games of this round will be Roosters versus Panthers.
Speaker 1: Come on, the Roosters hate the Panthers, hate them so much.
Speaker 1: Who else you got there, Mat, Broncos versus Cowboys. That's
Speaker 1: on the Saturday, Come on the Bronx.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And we've also got Manly versing the St. George
Speaker 2: Ellawarra Dragons down there at Winn Stadium up the mighty.
Speaker 1: See how are you feeling about Manly? They got they're
Speaker 1: playing very well.
Speaker 2: Look a classic manly fan. We've got thinking to win
Speaker 2: comp we will probably lose h S trade at KO.
Speaker 2: Everyone's welcome, so get on board today with a free trial.
Speaker 2: We'll leave link in our show notes. Matt let me
Speaker 2: ask you a quick question.
Speaker 1: Please, have you have you ever been on the longest
Speaker 1: escalator in the world in Hong Kong?
Speaker 2: It's amazing, God, God give me strength to get through it.
Speaker 1: Have you fucking held that back from me for so long?
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't even know you.
Speaker 2: Okay, you don't you don't know me. That's just the
Speaker 2: typically iceberg. Do you know how many escalators I've been on?
Speaker 1: April's like, why are we going to Hong Kong? And
Speaker 1: You're like, I don't know?
Speaker 2: To prove it?
Speaker 1: I fucking imagine my mum on that thing fall.
Speaker 2: In the way here every time.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I have a question for you, Matte, What do
Speaker 2: you got for me? Have you ever been in public
Speaker 2: with a child one of yours and you witness another
Speaker 2: child doing something quiet, outrageous or naughty that even your
Speaker 2: toddally goes, oh, yeah, they.
Speaker 1: Shouldn't be doing that. On the cruise ship every night
Speaker 1: with Oscar, oh man, he was fucking a dream.
Speaker 2: Also, what's the deal with Oscar? What's the deal with Oscar?
Speaker 2: All of a sudden, he's this nice boy? What do
Speaker 2: you mean? Actually that's before we get into that. Mom's like, oh,
Speaker 2: he's different, what do you mean? You snap out of it, bro,
Speaker 2: He's just so sweet and nice all of a sudden.
Speaker 2: Maybe because April was not here, that probably makes sense.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Well, he's being nice at home.
Speaker 2: I'll monitor it. Yeah, he's just been nice to everybody
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 1: Dude, that's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think it's so I'll come back to
Speaker 2: you on that. But I just thought about it.
Speaker 1: I have I witness in his child being naughty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess when you're at the playground.
Speaker 2: You know, there's like playground seems like a place where
Speaker 2: they do that.
Speaker 1: There's a kid who you know, would push in the
Speaker 1: slide and then they'd come over and say, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: I watched one of the bigger kids, slightly larger, stronger
Speaker 1: than the other kids, push their way into a line,
Speaker 1: and May would be like, daddy, he's pushing in and
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, he's a piece of shit. But you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't really I'm not gonna and I'm not going
Speaker 1: to step in.
Speaker 2: No, what happened with Oscar and I is we were
Speaker 2: at the shops. Shops have aisles, Okay, as you know what,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to set the scene.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I think I like sweat. I just I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how shops work were laid out. But yeah,
Speaker 1: depending on the shop they have, they do have aisles.
Speaker 2: So let's just go grocery shops. I have certain aisles
Speaker 2: which you get things from.
Speaker 1: Go on, I'm with you.
Speaker 2: You're ruining my story.
Speaker 1: I'm on the same page.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm in the shops. Obviously with Oscar, we're
Speaker 2: in an aisle down the aisle, and I hear a
Speaker 2: bit of a commotion down the aisle, and before I
Speaker 2: could get my phone out to film anything, a little
Speaker 2: boy has ridden his pushbike with training wheels. Might I
Speaker 2: add similar age to Oscar into the grocery shop off
Speaker 2: the street.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 2: First thought you think he's going to get off at
Speaker 2: the start of the shop, he's bringing the bike into.
Speaker 1: Say a is a bike not too different from a pram?
Speaker 2: No, it's very different. And I feel like he was
Speaker 2: like like.
Speaker 1: He was all over the shop.
Speaker 2: He was all over the shop. I thought he was
Speaker 2: just going to get off at the front of the
Speaker 2: shop leave bike there. And first of all, I was like,
Speaker 2: where are your fucking parents. He's ridden way ahead of
Speaker 2: his parents. Yeah, helmet on, thank god. And I was like,
Speaker 2: it's strange and didn't think a whole heap of it.
Speaker 2: And then I hear a commotion, another one. I hear
Speaker 2: a commotion, another comm second commotion, second commotion up further
Speaker 2: in the shop. This kid's riding up and down the aisles,
Speaker 2: and Oscar's like, what the fuck is going on? Either
Speaker 2: what the fuck's going on? Or what have I been
Speaker 2: missing out? Hell of a time? And I was like,
Speaker 2: this kid's out of control. And the parents come in.
Speaker 2: They've all got off their bikes, all with helmets on,
Speaker 2: running up and down the aisle trying to catch this kid.
Speaker 2: And they're like which isle is and he's got siblings
Speaker 2: and they're like, oh, this one, this one, And you
Speaker 2: could just hear it was just like a huge commotion.
Speaker 1: What were the staff doing. They don't want to do
Speaker 1: everyone'sdn't shot.
Speaker 2: Everyone was just like I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2: I was trying to film because I thinking he was
Speaker 2: coming up the aisle I was in, I couldn't I
Speaker 2: was riding the mills, I couldn't get to the end.
Speaker 1: And Oscar was just like, what, like, he shouldn't be.
Speaker 2: Doing this, he shouldn't be doing and the parents are
Speaker 2: yelling out, and they started yelling out his name. And
Speaker 2: have you guess what his name was?
Speaker 1: Dennis?
Speaker 2: The men close Maverick. Ah, it's in the name. You think.
Speaker 2: It's just doing whatever the fuck he wants.
Speaker 1: Parents have no one to blame but themselves for that.
Speaker 1: He's like, well, have you seen top gun? And he's
Speaker 1: just like at the end of it, they're.
Speaker 2: Like and he's like, right, I just see him right
Speaker 2: out the shop door and off down the street like
Speaker 2: nothing fucking happened. It just made me think I'm doing
Speaker 2: all right over here. Things aren't so bad after all.
Speaker 2: And don't name you kid, Maverick. No, but Oscar was
Speaker 2: in shop.
Speaker 1: You have to be like, that's not how you behave Oscar.
Speaker 2: He knew that was wrong.
Speaker 1: Maverick is a fucking rogue child who.
Speaker 2: Because I wish you name me Maverick. It's time for
Speaker 2: our favorite segment, Matt Meltdown or tantrum of the week.
Speaker 3: It's a fun.
Speaker 2: It'sn't fun? Okay, cool mat would you like?
Speaker 1: Can I just say interrupt for one second? I find
Speaker 1: that intro song hilarious. We did people, We did some
Speaker 1: stories on Instagram asking for feedback can improve and a
Speaker 1: lot of people said change the intro song.
Speaker 2: Well, the jokes on you because we're going to do
Speaker 2: it last.
Speaker 1: If you want it to stay, can you just message us.
Speaker 2: I think it's the best thing we've ever done. Okay,
Speaker 2: Oh quit very show. This is from Stevie. Stevie has
Speaker 2: written in and said at three am this morning, when
Speaker 2: my two year old woke up, he started insisting that
Speaker 2: I read him a book about spiders. He says in
Speaker 2: brackets here picture specific a hardcover, large educational book about spiders.
Speaker 1: And when I said no, it's three am and time
Speaker 1: to go back to sleep, he started wailing and flailing
Speaker 1: his limbs around in bed, begging me whilst crying, please Mummy, please,
Speaker 1: a spider book, please, please please, And he carried on
Speaker 1: for a solid amount of time. What the fuck there
Speaker 1: is nothing more annoying when the kids wake up, And
Speaker 1: that when we were talking about that window between like
Speaker 1: two to five o'clock, where there's a risk they may
Speaker 1: not go back to bed.
Speaker 2: You never know what we're going to get. Where did
Speaker 2: they get a cyclopedia of very good? I've got one
Speaker 2: for you, Jordi with an I is currently pregnant. Congratulations
Speaker 2: with morning sickness.
Speaker 1: Oh that sucks.
Speaker 2: And my toddler lost it this morning crying because I
Speaker 2: wouldn't let her play with my vomit back. I wasn't
Speaker 2: ready for that.
Speaker 1: That reminds me of April's morning sickness.
Speaker 2: And we used to have to travel the city every
Speaker 2: day for work, and April is a trooper. She used
Speaker 2: to get on the bars and vomit on the inner
Speaker 2: vomit bag on the bars, and she would refuse to
Speaker 2: not get the bars or refuse. Her boss is like,
Speaker 2: you can work from home, and she was like no.
Speaker 2: Do you know how many times I've had to physically
Speaker 2: get her off the bars to get an uber into
Speaker 2: work when she had morning sicknesses.
Speaker 1: How were people reacting?
Speaker 2: I guess did she look very sneaky? Oh?
Speaker 1: Were people like this chick's on a still on a
Speaker 1: bender from the night mat.
Speaker 2: She look pregnant. I think the belly gave it away.
Speaker 1: Will people just start to move away politely dunk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was pretty good at containing it. She's like, I'm
Speaker 1: only going to eat nice smelling food and that.
Speaker 2: Anyway, What have you.
Speaker 1: Got from me, young Ashton?
Speaker 2: What have I got for you, young Matthew? List of
Speaker 2: questions matt did you sleep train your kids by letting
Speaker 2: them cry themselves to sleep? If so, how did you
Speaker 2: cope with them screaming? My daughter is eight months old
Speaker 2: and we're trying to get her to sleep with us
Speaker 2: being in the room. She screams and breaks my heart
Speaker 2: and I have to go and help her.
Speaker 1: It's tough, isn't it.
Speaker 2: Look there's going to be people against screaming and not screaming.
Speaker 2: First of all, with Mary, we did it in two
Speaker 2: different ways. With Marley, I look back and I think
Speaker 2: I spoken about this before on the podcast. I look
Speaker 2: back and I'm like, gosh, I was so stupid. She
Speaker 2: used to put Marley to sleep by rocking her in
Speaker 2: our arms every single time she had a nap during
Speaker 2: the day. At nighttime in the morning, she would go
Speaker 2: to sleep in our arms. We would then transition her
Speaker 2: into the cop which, as any parent knows, it's so
Speaker 2: bloody hard to transition from like it doesn't matter if
Speaker 2: it's like a meter. As soon as we would put
Speaker 2: her in the cop she would kind of wake up,
Speaker 2: so it would take forever.
Speaker 1: And then in the opposite of that was was Lola.
Speaker 1: She was a screamer, and so we would have to
Speaker 1: just put her down, let her scream for five minutes,
Speaker 1: go in, pat her on the bottom, and then repeat
Speaker 1: that process. And eventually she would get so tired from
Speaker 1: screaming that she would then fall asleep, almost from exhaustion
Speaker 1: from the crying. And I know it sounds bad, and
Speaker 1: it was hard, more so for Laura. I could almost
Speaker 1: block it out. It's just white noise for me, whereas
Speaker 1: it would break Laura's heart hearing our daughter screen.
Speaker 2: No doubt about it, there's no doubt about it. I
Speaker 2: know you're trying to do what's best in the long run.
Speaker 2: But like I think I was told when we because
Speaker 2: we had a sleep consultant in, I was told that, look,
Speaker 2: if they're going up and down, up and down, it's okay,
Speaker 2: But when they're up and they're not coming back down,
Speaker 2: then you need to go in because then it could
Speaker 2: be you know, because they're going to be upset if
Speaker 2: you're not there, depending on at what level of upset
Speaker 2: that is. So like we add a similar combination to
Speaker 2: what you did, rock them to sleep for so long,
Speaker 2: and then you transition and they wake up and they're
Speaker 2: not in your arms and be like what and then yeah,
Speaker 2: then trying all these different ways to transition. Maybe we'll
Speaker 2: try and unpack that a bit more on another episode,
Speaker 2: because there's all different ways.
Speaker 1: I mean, even even now, if we hear a slight
Speaker 1: murmur in the kids room, Laura's like, Mommy's coming and
Speaker 1: I'm grabbing and I'm like, just give give them in
Speaker 1: a second, just see if they settle back down. It's
Speaker 1: not rush in there.
Speaker 2: It's also your bat hearing. As a parent, you're just
Speaker 2: like sonar hearing. You can hear them move a little bit,
Speaker 2: you like someone's moving.
Speaker 1: I can't'm deaf as anything.
Speaker 2: Oh really, I'm like literally like a dog whistle.
Speaker 1: A mouse is walking across the floor and Laura's like,
Speaker 1: there's something up there, quick save them. I've got a
Speaker 1: question for you, and this is off the back of
Speaker 1: an interview. You know, Lily Allen, the pop star, the
Speaker 1: pop star, big fan, this singer. I thought you would
Speaker 1: be did you see what she said recently in an
Speaker 1: interview about being a mum enlightened me? So? Yes, Lily
Speaker 1: Allen has said, and I quote, my children ruined my career.
Speaker 1: I love them and they complete me, but in terms
Speaker 1: of pop stardom, they totally ruined it. Okay. I get
Speaker 1: really annoyed when people say you can have it all,
Speaker 1: because quite frankly, you can't. What are your thoughts on that? A?
Speaker 1: Is it too harsh for her to say that ruined my.
Speaker 2: Pop star career a chance instead of chats? Look, I
Speaker 2: can't really totally agree because that My kids are pretty
Speaker 2: much my whole career right now. I'm in a fucking
Speaker 2: dad podcast. I host a dad podcast and next to
Speaker 2: another dad. I'd be nothing without that, nothing without you,
Speaker 2: But I'd be everything without you as well. I'd be
Speaker 2: a pop star. We could start this, we could start
Speaker 2: a boy band anyway. Look, I agree you can't have
Speaker 2: it all all the time. I think you can have
Speaker 2: it all in certain areas at certain times.
Speaker 1: Although I haven't, I haven't heard anyone go public with
Speaker 1: that narrative. I kind of think it's pretty unanimous at
Speaker 1: any any parent out there, None of them are saying
Speaker 1: you can have it all, like, surely not. I'm not
Speaker 1: thinking it. I'm yet to hear anyone say that because
Speaker 1: we put.
Speaker 2: A pole out there. Do you think you can have
Speaker 2: it all?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, hey, we will put a pole out there,
Speaker 1: camparent have it all? I think you can't. You've always
Speaker 1: got to sacrifice something, whether it's friends, whether it's your career,
Speaker 1: where it's being a parent, like I know that, you know,
Speaker 1: like Laura, like, I don't know how the hell she
Speaker 1: does it. She's got her jewelry business, she's got the podcast.
Speaker 1: Say she has it all. No, she doesn't. Okay what
Speaker 1: she's listen.
Speaker 2: She will go love and affection from manager.
Speaker 1: She still gets that. Oh yeah, I bet you. We
Speaker 1: managed to squeeze that in there. Don't you worry.
Speaker 2: I'm not worried at all.
Speaker 1: Mine was a joke. She will go long periods where
Speaker 1: she doesn't see her friends, like she doesn't socialize because
Speaker 1: she's just working non stop. You her best friend, man,
Speaker 1: I thank you, thank you. You are correct.
Speaker 2: So she hit in fact has it all.
Speaker 1: And then and then there's times when you know she
Speaker 1: has to then realize she's like, I'm not you know,
Speaker 1: I've got to go out. I've got to see the girls,
Speaker 1: her girlfriends, because that area of her life gets totally
Speaker 1: neglected because she's so focused on me, but her career
Speaker 1: and the kids.
Speaker 2: It depends what you're all is as well, right, what
Speaker 2: is it all exactly? You're all could be so much
Speaker 2: smaller than Laura at all. You're all could be your
Speaker 2: family and then you have it all. But I do philosophy.
Speaker 2: Thank you there. Now, that's all we have time for.
Speaker 1: I will just say just before we go, I will
Speaker 1: say that I disagree why I agree with her sentiment.
Speaker 1: This is Lily Allen that you can't have it all,
Speaker 1: But I totally disagree that. Hey, there are plenty of
Speaker 1: pop stars out there, like Beyonce. Look at Pink for example.
Speaker 1: Pink's on stage when.
Speaker 2: It comes down to how much money you've got?
Speaker 1: No, but like Lily Allen, like she.
Speaker 2: Is not as successful as Beyonce. Is no one as
Speaker 2: successful as Beyonce and I won't hear it.
Speaker 1: But when you look at someone like Pink and she's
Speaker 1: really obviously she's got a very talented daughter, She's released
Speaker 1: songs with her daughter, she's on tour with her entire family.
Speaker 1: She's got a daughter on stage.
Speaker 2: Be more flexible. No, I'm just saying it can happen.
Speaker 1: Happen. I don't think. I don't think as a as
Speaker 1: a blanket statement that being a parent is the bullet
Speaker 1: into your career. No, be more like Pink a spider monkey.
Speaker 1: And on that note, yes, I do want to say
Speaker 1: also thank you to everyone who gave us their feedback
Speaker 1: on stories. Yes, coming up to a year anniversary. Obviously
Speaker 1: we care about the product. We care about data vice.
Speaker 2: If you will that of it.
Speaker 1: I have an idea that we should do something. It's
Speaker 1: coming up on the twenty six next month. We'll plan
Speaker 1: something for that. But if there the feedback that you,
Speaker 1: as a listener wants to give us, we are all
Speaker 1: ears either dm us, email us or leader of you
Speaker 1: enough a podcast, we'd love that it will be the dream.
Speaker 2: And on that note, getting out bye, so yeah bye bye.
Speaker 3: Two.
Speaker 1: Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Speaker 2: Islander people's today This episode was recorded on gadagal Land.