WEBVTT - MINI: Bridget Jones is rewriting the 'cougar' story

0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.640
<v Speaker 1>So you guys might have heard the news that Hollywood

0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:06.840
<v Speaker 1>superstar Renee Zellweger is in town. Bridget Jones Number four

0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:09.320
<v Speaker 1>has just been released on the weekend, and I was

0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:11.440
<v Speaker 1>lucky enough to be able to go to the premiere.

0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:13.080
<v Speaker 2>You were flashing yourself on the red carpet.

0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:15.400
<v Speaker 1>That's right, flashmounds on the red car but in true

0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:17.560
<v Speaker 1>Bridget Jones style. Like I felt like that was an

0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:18.759
<v Speaker 1>ode to Bridget Jones.

0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:20.720
<v Speaker 2>I didn't even think of that. You embodied it, Yeah.

0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:22.680
<v Speaker 1>I really did. They didn't write that. They just wrote

0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:25.520
<v Speaker 1>that I flash Mandy's malfunctioned irrelevant. So I want to

0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.160
<v Speaker 1>talk about the movie itself. I know I mentioned yesterday

0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:29.720
<v Speaker 1>if you were listening, that I just loved it. It

0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:32.159
<v Speaker 1>was about grief and I had all these beautiful aspects

0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:34.360
<v Speaker 1>to it. But there was a part of the movie

0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:39.360
<v Speaker 1>that I particularly resonated with. Bridget Jones. In this movie

0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:43.320
<v Speaker 1>is an older woman that gets into a very loving

0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:47.680
<v Speaker 1>sexual relationship with quite a younger man, like I'm talking Handalus,

0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:50.440
<v Speaker 1>pretty big age gap. It's about twenty years. Actually, it's

0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:53.280
<v Speaker 1>also Leo Woodhall, So who could blame her? Anyone is

0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:55.400
<v Speaker 1>going for Leo Woodhall. I don't care what age you are.

0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:57.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry this has just become the Leo Woodall

0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.000
<v Speaker 2>fan show. Like everyone's like, why are you still talk

0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:02.040
<v Speaker 2>talking about him? It's my fault, Well, Bridget and.

0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:05.560
<v Speaker 1>The reason that's all you are. Bridget Jones's author Helen

0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:09.039
<v Speaker 1>Fielding has come out and said that this was very intentional.

0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.760
<v Speaker 1>She really wanted to smash the idea that women have

0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:15.399
<v Speaker 1>this sexual cell by date. Hollywood has always made us

0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:17.480
<v Speaker 1>believe that you get to an age and you're no

0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:21.200
<v Speaker 1>longer desirable, You no longer want to have those relationships.

0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:25.039
<v Speaker 1>It's always been okay for men, especially in Hollywood, to

0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:28.520
<v Speaker 1>date women ten, twenty, thirty, forty years younger than them,

0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:30.039
<v Speaker 1>and no one bats an eyelid.

0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:33.559
<v Speaker 2>I mean, look at Leo DiCaprio, for example. The age

0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:36.520
<v Speaker 2>of his girlfriends have never changed. I'm pretty sure he

0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:38.639
<v Speaker 2>was dating twenty year olds when we were all twenty.

0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:40.400
<v Speaker 2>Is he like late forties now? I don't even know

0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:41.200
<v Speaker 2>he's fifty.

0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:43.840
<v Speaker 1>He's just fifty and he's still dating twenty year old's

0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:44.440
<v Speaker 1>twenty five?

0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:47.039
<v Speaker 2>Nothing. Yeah, but well, actually I have a few things

0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.320
<v Speaker 2>against it, but like you know, well people.

0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.000
<v Speaker 1>Have started to talk about that, but this whole narrative

0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:52.680
<v Speaker 1>has been flipped on its head, and we've seen quite

0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.080
<v Speaker 1>a few movies in the last year where they've had

0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.480
<v Speaker 1>relationships between the old women and the younger men, like

0:01:57.520 --> 0:01:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Anne Hathaway did a movie earlier this year as well,

0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:01.640
<v Speaker 1>where she was in a relationship with a guy in

0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.480
<v Speaker 1>his twenties. I think it's really cool personally because I've

0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:07.480
<v Speaker 1>always dated younger, and I've always made jokes about the

0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:09.919
<v Speaker 1>fact that I'm a cougar. Now I'm not dating twenty

0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:13.360
<v Speaker 1>years younger. Mine are like between five seven eight years,

0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:15.000
<v Speaker 1>but eight years has been my man.

0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.040
<v Speaker 2>You're absolute Max, Ye, okay, what I would do.

0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:19.360
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm getting married now, but my ex was seven

0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.840
<v Speaker 1>years younger than me, and I just remember, I remember

0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:25.880
<v Speaker 1>the feelings surrounding that from other people, but also the

0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:28.960
<v Speaker 1>feelings that I had myself. It didn't bother me, but

0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:31.560
<v Speaker 1>I felt the judgment from other people because when we

0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:33.680
<v Speaker 1>started dating, I was in my thirties and he was

0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:36.600
<v Speaker 1>still twenty five, which is very young.

0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.480
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting to me because I know that I have

0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:43.760
<v Speaker 2>a bias from years of watching you know, just men

0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:46.519
<v Speaker 2>who are older date younger women, and women always date

0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:49.520
<v Speaker 2>older men. I personally have never dated anybody that's like

0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:52.720
<v Speaker 2>significantly younger than me. Funnily enough, my husband is actually

0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:54.960
<v Speaker 2>the youngest man I've ever dated, and he's only a

0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:58.880
<v Speaker 2>year and a half younger than me. But I've always thought,

0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:01.400
<v Speaker 2>and this is actually kind of sad, I've always thought,

0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:05.240
<v Speaker 2>why would someone younger than me? Like, why would a

0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:08.160
<v Speaker 2>younger man want to be with me when he could

0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:09.120
<v Speaker 2>be with a twenty year old?

0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:09.280
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:11.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean like like I put the expiration on myself,

0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:13.680
<v Speaker 2>and I know that that is so backwards and it's

0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:17.520
<v Speaker 2>almost the antithesis of this, but it shows the conditioning.

0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:19.680
<v Speaker 2>Like I've never looked at a forty year old man

0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:22.000
<v Speaker 2>and being like, God, what would a thirty year old

0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:24.040
<v Speaker 2>see in you? I've always just thought that was completely

0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:27.440
<v Speaker 2>statistically normal, Whereas, like for me, as someone who is

0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:30.000
<v Speaker 2>surging towards my forties, if I was single, I would

0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.520
<v Speaker 2>genuinely think, what would a twenty nine year old man

0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:33.760
<v Speaker 2>see in me? Do you know what I mean?

0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:33.920
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.200
<v Speaker 2>And I know that that shouldn't be the case, and

0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.880
<v Speaker 2>I love that there are movies that are platform being

0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.920
<v Speaker 2>the alternate, but I do think that women face so

0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:44.680
<v Speaker 2>much more judgment for dating younger men than what men do.

0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:46.680
<v Speaker 2>It's like, I mean, I know, I don't think it.

0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:48.160
<v Speaker 2>It's absolutely just fact.

0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Of course they do, which is why it's so important

0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:53.200
<v Speaker 1>that these movies are flipping that narrative on his head.

0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:56.920
<v Speaker 1>It sounds so cliche, but I truly believe that age

0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:59.040
<v Speaker 1>is just a number. It depends on what the person is.

0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:01.280
<v Speaker 1>What does that person bring into the relationship, what are

0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.480
<v Speaker 1>they offering, how do they act, their emotional maturity, their

0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.000
<v Speaker 1>life experience. And you know, the twenty five year old

0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:10.720
<v Speaker 1>that I was dating was so worldly and so mature,

0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:12.880
<v Speaker 1>like the position that he was in, what he did,

0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:16.240
<v Speaker 1>what he brought our relationship was amazing. I didn't look

0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:18.720
<v Speaker 1>at him like he was younger. I think we forget

0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:21.640
<v Speaker 1>and we put the limitations on ourselves. Yes, society does.

0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:24.120
<v Speaker 1>But what you said is true, Laura, Like we say

0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:25.000
<v Speaker 1>it to ourselves.

0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we say it to ourselves though, because it's been

0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:29.719
<v Speaker 2>said so much. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm happily married.

0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:31.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't not running out there wanting to date a

0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:35.120
<v Speaker 2>twenty year old BA. But I guess what I mean

0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:37.000
<v Speaker 2>by this is when I say, like I have this

0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.279
<v Speaker 2>judgment about myself or about you know, it's a fleeting

0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:43.320
<v Speaker 2>thought when I do see these age disparity in relationships.

0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:45.880
<v Speaker 2>But the thing is is, like, all that does is

0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:49.680
<v Speaker 2>it reinforces that women must have an expiration date, that

0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:52.000
<v Speaker 2>they're not as valuable as they get older as what

0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:54.640
<v Speaker 2>men are. Because men retain value, they can still date down.

0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:56.719
<v Speaker 2>But the older you get as a woman, then the

0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.400
<v Speaker 2>expectation is that you don't. And that's something that needs

0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:00.400
<v Speaker 2>to be looked at for sure.

0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:04.839
<v Speaker 1>Except it's actually perfect because men's sexual peak is in

0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:07.480
<v Speaker 1>their twenties and women's sexual peaks they're not peaking until

0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:10.560
<v Speaker 1>mid to late thirties, even early forties some women. So

0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:13.800
<v Speaker 1>that's really ideal for a younger man that's in his peak,

0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:17.640
<v Speaker 1>that wants someone that's like thriving experience, knows what they want.

0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:18.640
<v Speaker 1>Brittany's selling it.

0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.240
<v Speaker 2>She's like, all the younger men slide into my note.

0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:22.280
<v Speaker 2>You're happily engaged.

0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Now, No, I'm fine, But imagine how how amazing it

0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.320
<v Speaker 1>would be to be Rene Zelwiga when the author and

0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:30.600
<v Speaker 1>the director brings this to you, right, and they're like, hey,

0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:32.279
<v Speaker 1>we're going to set you up with a man in

0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:32.839
<v Speaker 1>his twenties.

0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:33.400
<v Speaker 2>Take your peak.

0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:35.080
<v Speaker 1>What actor do you want, And you get to like

0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:36.560
<v Speaker 1>look around Hollywood and be like.

0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:39.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I guess begin what times are changing?

0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:40.719
<v Speaker 2>They really are? Are they?

0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.600
<v Speaker 1>Women are in control