Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. Hi guys, and
Speaker 2: welcome back to another episode of Life. I'm Cut, I'm Laura.
Speaker 1: And I'm Brittany, and I am coming to you today
Speaker 1: from the other side of the world with my head
Speaker 1: stuffed inside Ben's closet.
Speaker 3: Well, at least it's not stuffed inside Ben.
Speaker 1: Let me clarify that that makes me sound like I've
Speaker 1: been kidnapped and I'm like locked in the closet. I'm
Speaker 1: not locked in a closet, to be clear, but I'm
Speaker 1: in a makeshift recording shoo which is literally inside Ben's closet,
Speaker 1: so it has like nice soft soundproofing and all his
Speaker 1: jackets buffer and I was just like, wow, look, how
Speaker 1: fire I've calm.
Speaker 4: That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2: I would rather have my head stuffed inside a wardrobe
Speaker 2: if it meant that I got to spend four days
Speaker 2: in Mayorca.
Speaker 5: So I don't feel sorry for you right now. I
Speaker 5: am back in Scotland. Now. I went to Mayoca. We
Speaker 5: had three days in Mayoka. It was amazing. I flew
Speaker 5: over four days ago to see Ben.
Speaker 4: It's out.
Speaker 5: What is it every eight weeks we get to bang
Speaker 5: for a week. But the funniest thing happened to me.
Speaker 1: Now, I feel like this is probably everyone's lifelong dream.
Speaker 1: But I have had a lifelong dream my entire life
Speaker 1: that I thought would never ever happen.
Speaker 4: It's so far out of reach.
Speaker 2: Okay, and now I'm trying to think of what it
Speaker 2: could possibly be. And you saw Sam Hewen at the airport. No,
Speaker 2: you mounted sam Hewan's face. No, I said, you climbed
Speaker 2: sam Hewin like a mountain. It just has to have
Speaker 2: something to do with Sam Hewen, that's all I know.
Speaker 4: I hope Samhwan never listened to this.
Speaker 1: We have tried to get him on the podcast, so
Speaker 1: that would be embarrassing if he comes on.
Speaker 2: Also, just so that everyone knows, like, because you may
Speaker 2: not be aware of this, Like Sam Hewen is the
Speaker 2: equivalent to my Jason Momoa.
Speaker 4: He was my whole pass.
Speaker 2: He is the man that Brittany has wanted to climb
Speaker 2: since she was a wee little lass.
Speaker 3: He was my whole pass.
Speaker 1: But he's not anymore because I am in a great
Speaker 1: relationship and Sam.
Speaker 3: Up, everyone still has a whole part.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying it in case he comes on the
Speaker 4: podcast one day.
Speaker 3: He's never coming on the podcast, brit He's frightened of you.
Speaker 4: No, you know, he said he would.
Speaker 3: I spoke to him. Did I tell you that in
Speaker 3: direct message?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: We spoke and he was like, I'm launching some a
Speaker 5: balk and some alcohol and heaps of shit. Because he's
Speaker 5: like an entrepreneur as well as an actor. But he
Speaker 5: was like, maybe, like when we launched that we could
Speaker 5: do it.
Speaker 2: This is just a little insight into the lengths that
Speaker 2: Brittany Hockley will go. You would have slid into his DMS.
Speaker 5: There is no one I won't slide into if I
Speaker 5: want them on the podcast, I will.
Speaker 4: I go high and low. I split into Michelle.
Speaker 1: Obamas, the daughter Sasha's Obamas. Now that's a lie, but
Speaker 1: I'll do what I need to do. We aim high
Speaker 1: and we fall slightly short of that. So I okay,
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to start this story. Okay,
Speaker 1: fuck it, I'll tell you. I flew first class for
Speaker 1: the first time in my life, probably the only time
Speaker 1: in my life. Now I need to tell you why
Speaker 1: and how. So Ben and I we see each other
Speaker 1: every few months. As you guys know if you knew
Speaker 1: the podcast, I'm in a long distance relationship. Ben lives
Speaker 1: in Scotland, so I'm the one that flies the most,
Speaker 1: right because Ben only flies once a.
Speaker 4: Year, so I'm flying six times a year.
Speaker 3: It's really expensive.
Speaker 1: So Ben and I always we split everything. Even though
Speaker 1: he's only doing one flight, he still helps me pay
Speaker 1: for the flights because it's not fair otherwise, right, and
Speaker 1: it's just the agreement.
Speaker 5: It's just the agreement of done totally anyway.
Speaker 1: So this flight over, I only booked it three days
Speaker 1: before I left, which meant the flights it was really
Speaker 1: hard to get flight times, and I had to fly
Speaker 1: a mix of economy and premium economy so whatever leg
Speaker 1: I could get, so I had premium economy and economy.
Speaker 1: Ben had let me sign into his Frequent Flyer points
Speaker 1: because we'd use mine the last flight, so he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: use of mine, it might get a bit off the
Speaker 1: price or whatever. So I get to the flight and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh man, you've been upgraded, and I was like, oh, amazing,
Speaker 1: Like this is incredible, and I was like.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. I was like, what the fuck?
Speaker 5: I was like me, and she's like yes, and I
Speaker 5: was like that's amazing. Why yeah anyway, so I was like,
Speaker 5: this is my dream come true. Because sometimes they do
Speaker 5: these random upgrades. These are the stories of myths and legends,
Speaker 5: you know, like you hear about the people that get
Speaker 5: to the counter and they've gotten a random upgrade.
Speaker 2: There's always like the people who say, like, if you
Speaker 2: dress up nicely to get onto a plane, like you
Speaker 2: might be the one who gets upgraded if you rock
Speaker 2: up wearing a suit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it never happens.
Speaker 1: Anyway, She's like, you've been upgrade. First cars fucking poseideon myself.
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it, message shirt and showed away. I
Speaker 1: think I was like, I can't believe this. Took so
Speaker 1: many photos in there, like A took.
Speaker 4: So many of the food everything.
Speaker 3: I took photos of the menus.
Speaker 5: Okay, it was the most it was the most lush
Speaker 5: thing I have ever experienced, and I cannot I cannot
Speaker 5: explain it to you now. It wasn't the big you
Speaker 5: see pictures, right, you see pictures of the big, beautiful
Speaker 5: cabins where there's like a lounge room and stuff in there.
Speaker 4: It wasn't that one.
Speaker 1: What it was was like a bed that went down,
Speaker 1: a full big TV, like huge TV, and closing doors
Speaker 1: for complete privacy, like they were electronic doors. The menu
Speaker 1: was I'm not exaggerated, and the menu was cavia lobster tail.
Speaker 4: I ate so much food. I wasn't even hungry.
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, some more lobster like.
Speaker 5: I was living like it was my last day on Earth.
Speaker 5: They were like, ma'am, do you want a shower? I
Speaker 5: was like, yes, I don't need a shower, but I'm.
Speaker 4: Gonna have one.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have fucking two showers. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Do you want to see yeah exactly. I was like
Speaker 1: book me in. She's like, do you need the spa?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, I need it. It was
Speaker 1: so fancy, Laura. I even took a photo of the bathroom.
Speaker 1: I couldn't find the toilet.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make sense that these things exist on a
Speaker 2: plane where it's like, no there, I am shoved at
Speaker 2: the back with my two screaming kids next to the toilet,
Speaker 2: wanting to open the emergency exit.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So anyway, I'm like, oh, is this the toilet? Because
Speaker 5: even the door's fancy and she's like yeah.
Speaker 1: So I go in and there's a shower, there's a
Speaker 1: huge room, there's makeup room, there's hair dryers, and I
Speaker 1: can't see a toilet, and so I'm like, she mustn't
Speaker 1: be understood me. So I went back out and she's
Speaker 1: standing there like ready.
Speaker 5: They're always there when you leave, they're ready with because
Speaker 5: I go in after every person and I was like, oh, sorry,
Speaker 5: is this the bathroom in here?
Speaker 4: And she's like yes, and I was like, oh okay.
Speaker 3: I walked back in and I just stood there.
Speaker 4: I was like, the fuck is the toilet. The toilet
Speaker 4: is like a ameleon. It's hidden.
Speaker 3: You can't even see this.
Speaker 4: To the point that I took a video.
Speaker 1: I was like, tell me when you spot the toilet.
Speaker 1: I eventually found it.
Speaker 2: The lady walks in and there's Brittany doing a shit
Speaker 2: in this scene.
Speaker 1: No, So it was to the point that I was like,
Speaker 1: I thought there were hidden doors. So I was like
Speaker 1: poking along the wall thinking that one of the doors
Speaker 1: would pop out, but it wasn't. There was a little
Speaker 1: anyone that's flown first class I was listening to this
Speaker 1: is gonna be like Britney sasually.
Speaker 3: No one, no one, literally no one.
Speaker 4: So there was like a little like it runs.
Speaker 5: It's all curved and everything. It's not even square, like
Speaker 5: all the walls are curved and it was like this
Speaker 5: curvy little seat and I was like, I wonder if
Speaker 5: that is something and I lifted it up and it
Speaker 5: was like a surprise toilet. Anyway, I found the toilet
Speaker 5: crisis averted.
Speaker 4: So I booked into my shower. I did everything. It
Speaker 4: was incredible.
Speaker 2: Wait did you find out why you got upgraded? Was
Speaker 2: there a reason or did you just the lucky dip?
Speaker 5: No, I'm getting there. So then I get to Scotland
Speaker 5: and I send benep photo. I haven't seen him yet.
Speaker 5: I just got off the plane and I sent him
Speaker 5: a photo and I'm.
Speaker 4: Like, guess here's the first class bitch.
Speaker 5: And he's like, oh my god, what happened? And I
Speaker 5: was like random upgrade. I was like, it's so weird.
Speaker 4: He's like, oh, they don't.
Speaker 5: Usually random upgrade. You're from like economy and I was
Speaker 5: like I don't know, babe, but I was like full flight.
Speaker 5: I hit the jackpot. Anyway, So it turns out Ben
Speaker 5: was like a bit perplexed.
Speaker 3: He was like, just.
Speaker 4: Doesn't sound right. It turns out.
Speaker 1: So Ben had given me his frequent Flyer points right
Speaker 1: and when I had put them in for my flight
Speaker 1: to get a discount, there was a little button that said,
Speaker 1: do you want to put in for an automatic upgrade
Speaker 1: if it's available?
Speaker 4: So I said yes. I thought that I thought that
Speaker 4: that meant they would ask me.
Speaker 5: I thought they meant that that would be like, man,
Speaker 5: there's a spot for an upgrade. Do you want to
Speaker 5: take it? But it does it's automatic, So I ticked yes.
Speaker 4: It wiped all of his points. It wasn't a random upgrade.
Speaker 4: Ben paid every point he's ever got. He logged onto
Speaker 4: his thing and he's like, I have no fucking points
Speaker 4: slept and I was like, oh my god. He's like,
Speaker 4: what did you do? I was like, I think I
Speaker 4: pressed the automatic up upgrade.
Speaker 2: But that is not funny. That is terrible. That is
Speaker 2: you're a fucking bad girlfriend. You are a bad girlfriend.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 5: He actually he knew that there's no way I would
Speaker 5: ever do that, And I was like, I thought it
Speaker 5: meant that they'd be like, oh man, we saw that
Speaker 5: you would like to bid for an upgrade or whatever.
Speaker 5: I thought they would ask you, like approach you.
Speaker 4: But they literally just said, man, you've been upgrade, and
Speaker 4: I was like, fucking brilliant.
Speaker 1: The plane God's helped me anyway, Lucky Ben saw the
Speaker 1: funny side.
Speaker 2: I would also like to this can be that everyone's
Speaker 2: like wonderful reminder that the mythical, magical automatic upgrade that
Speaker 2: people sometimes talk about doesn't have it.
Speaker 3: It's not real.
Speaker 1: Anyway, that was my It was the funny thing happened.
Speaker 1: And Ben still loves me. So I'm here for another
Speaker 1: shoe weeks.
Speaker 2: Okay, well we just so you guys know, we have
Speaker 2: this episode and then we're taking a week off because
Speaker 2: I'm heading away to Bali on the weekend for some work.
Speaker 2: I've got some Tony May work happening over there. I'm
Speaker 2: going with my sister, I'm going with one of my
Speaker 2: staff from Tony May and no kids for an entire
Speaker 2: week and no Matt as well, which I was really excited,
Speaker 2: and then yesterday I got really sad. So I don't
Speaker 2: know how I feel about it anymore. It's an emotional rollercoaster.
Speaker 5: Is this the longest you've been away from the kids, Like,
Speaker 5: will this be?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Seven days? This will be the longest I've been away
Speaker 2: with Matt and the kids. We've been away before, you
Speaker 2: and I and Keisha. We went to Ularu earlier this year.
Speaker 2: That was for three or four nights. That was the longest,
Speaker 2: and now this will be the longest stint that I've done.
Speaker 2: And also it's the only international stint that I've ever
Speaker 2: done without the kids.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know because I don't have kids,
Speaker 1: but I feel like you're going to miss them the most,
Speaker 1: like the first few days, and then I think you're
Speaker 1: going to ease in just fine.
Speaker 4: I think I think you're going to be cocktail in hand.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you where I'm not going to miss
Speaker 2: them on the flight when I get to sleep for
Speaker 2: an entire five hours all by myself in economy. Oh,
Speaker 2: I mean, this is cute. Matt we were talking about
Speaker 2: last night and he was like, why don't you just
Speaker 2: pack some kids books? Like, pack like four or five
Speaker 2: kids books in your suitcase and so then at night
Speaker 2: time on FaceTime you can read the girls to sleep.
Speaker 3: So that's what we do.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm gonna take books with me and then I
Speaker 2: can sit there on FaceTime and I can read their
Speaker 2: bedtime stories to them every night and we can FaceTime
Speaker 2: and spend you know, at least like even though I'm
Speaker 2: not going to see them for the next seven days,
Speaker 2: I can spend that little bit of time and that
Speaker 2: can be the little tradition.
Speaker 3: I don't know. We're doing our best. We're surviving over here.
Speaker 5: I think that's cute, but also I feel like you're
Speaker 5: going to be like bad reception.
Speaker 4: But really it is that like Fins beach hop Spot
Speaker 4: goes swim in the pool Fins to Finn.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, guys, we wanted to before we get into
Speaker 2: answering all you're deep, you're dark, and you're burning questions.
Speaker 2: We have some really exciting stuff to tell you about
Speaker 2: the live shows. So we I mean, for quite a
Speaker 2: while now we've had some of our guests locked in,
Speaker 2: but we've just started announcing them and what we're doing
Speaker 2: with these live shows. If you haven't got your tickets yet,
Speaker 2: they're going to be phenomenal. I know that we've already
Speaker 2: told you that Sam Fisher is going to be playing
Speaker 2: and singing at every single show. That's like one consistent
Speaker 2: thing that's happening at each show. For those of you
Speaker 2: who don't know who he is. This is Sam Fisher's song.
Speaker 6: Set's Gonna bring My said, He's gone to love me,
Speaker 6: live me alone, said, has got me jaes such, it's
Speaker 6: been a couple of months as if I come home, am.
Speaker 4: I getting said.
Speaker 6: Where Rabben said is gonna break my Jis's gonna break go.
Speaker 3: But then we've also just announced.
Speaker 2: So if you live in the Gold Coast and you
Speaker 2: have been thinking, should I go to the Gold Coast Show?
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm busy on the Wednesday night. I think it's
Speaker 2: the Wednesday, the twenty fifth of October, have a look.
Speaker 2: Go get your tickets because the people that are joining
Speaker 2: us on stage there we have Eliti Pullin, which so
Speaker 2: many of you guys know she is from the Darling
Speaker 2: Shine podcast. She's also written the book Heartstrong. So Eldi
Speaker 2: is the partner of Chumpy Pullen, who passed away tragically
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty and she has her beautiful little girl Mini.
Speaker 3: They had this baby together, but.
Speaker 2: His sperm was actually collected after he passed away. We
Speaker 2: have had a Elity on the podcast before. She's incredible
Speaker 2: and the story is amazing, but also just her as
Speaker 2: an incredibly resilient human in her normalizing grief in her
Speaker 2: talking about her life as a single mum and how
Speaker 2: her life has changed since having Minnie. She lives just
Speaker 2: truly the fullest and most incredible life, and I know
Speaker 2: you guys are going to love hearing the updates from
Speaker 2: what we have spoken about on the podcast to where
Speaker 2: her life is now at that live show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Eliti is truly amazing.
Speaker 1: And I think the thing I love about Eldi the
Speaker 1: most is I've never quite seen somebody speak about grief
Speaker 1: so well and such a traumatic event, but then simultaneously
Speaker 1: be so full of energy and so positive and so
Speaker 1: happy and so fucking funny. Like she really has this
Speaker 1: incredible balancing act of being able to speak about something
Speaker 1: that not many people go through but making you laugh
Speaker 1: at the same time. She's got just such a great
Speaker 1: outlook on life and such a great sense of humor
Speaker 1: that she really is the epitome of both.
Speaker 2: Well, it's almost that idea of like a lot of
Speaker 2: people deal with hardship through laughter on one side. I
Speaker 2: remember her talking about this. On one side, She's like,
Speaker 2: we can be completely in tears and bereft over everything
Speaker 2: that happened, and then the next minute making jokes because
Speaker 2: it's one of those you know, if you don't laugh,
Speaker 2: you'll cry for the rest of your life situations.
Speaker 3: Also joining us at the Gold Coast Show.
Speaker 2: Another announcement which we made is the incredible m Carey,
Speaker 2: who is the girl who fell from the sky. So
Speaker 2: Em joined us in Sydney last year. She was one
Speaker 2: of the absolute highlights of the Sydney Show. It was
Speaker 2: incredible to speak to her. We've had her also on
Speaker 2: the podcast before, but what we spoke about at the
Speaker 2: live show in Sydney was a very different conversation and
Speaker 2: it was more so around her life since the last
Speaker 2: time we spoke. And so even if you have followed
Speaker 2: along EM's Ernie, and even if you have listened to
Speaker 2: the podcast episodes, we can guarantee that you will get
Speaker 2: something very very different out of these conversations. And so
Speaker 2: they're the guests that are coming to the Gold Coast
Speaker 2: Live Show. Now, like you guys know, we have six
Speaker 2: other shows within Australia and then we also have New
Speaker 2: Zealand as well, so every single show is gonna have
Speaker 2: different guests. But we just wanted to give you a
Speaker 2: little taste of how fucking good it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: We do have different guests every single place. We have
Speaker 1: one to two guests, probably two at almost every single one,
Speaker 1: but finding people at different shows that are there in
Speaker 1: different cities were so much fun.
Speaker 3: We have a very big.
Speaker 1: Guest that happened to last minute be Free in Sydney,
Speaker 1: and that is Rebel Wilson. So you know that Rebel
Speaker 1: is a friend of the podcast, she's a friend of mine,
Speaker 1: She's been on the podcast a few times, and she
Speaker 1: just so happens to be in Sydney filming over that period.
Speaker 1: So she has agreed to come on as a very
Speaker 1: very special guest in the Sydney show. So that's also
Speaker 1: going to be incredible. We're gonna speak to Rebel about
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff in her life that we didn't
Speaker 1: speak about on the episodes because I feel like her
Speaker 1: life is all so ever evolving. So I'm really really
Speaker 1: looking forward to that chat as well. And over the
Speaker 1: next week or so, we are going to be dropping
Speaker 1: a few more guests.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also, like we know, we've talked about this
Speaker 2: so much, but the live shows are going to be
Speaker 2: such an extravagance. We don't want anyone to leave these
Speaker 2: shows unless they're like that was phenomenal. That's the benchmark.
Speaker 2: So you know we've said a high we are going
Speaker 2: to try our absolute best. We have some really really
Speaker 2: funny stories that we haven't told on the podcast before,
Speaker 2: and we have everyone coming.
Speaker 3: Kisha's going to be there, Mitch's going to.
Speaker 2: Be there, Maddie Jay is going to be there for
Speaker 2: most of them when we can get babysitters for the kids.
Speaker 2: So like, it's truly such an all team and amazing
Speaker 2: thing that we get to do where we get to
Speaker 2: come to your hometowns. If you're in Sydney, just so
Speaker 2: you know, the Sydney one is happening at the State
Speaker 2: Theater on October the fifteenth, but we're also going to Adelaide,
Speaker 2: We're going to Perth, We're going to Melbourne. We're going
Speaker 2: to be in Auckland and Canberra and Brisbane. So it
Speaker 2: is truly all across Australia throughout the month of October.
Speaker 2: Go get your tickets, get your girlfriends, get your boyfriends. Yeah,
Speaker 2: get everyone, Get your mum, get your dad.
Speaker 3: If you think that that might be, oh my god,
Speaker 3: my mum and.
Speaker 5: Dad are coming and my uncles and arnies and stuff.
Speaker 5: And I'm mortified because some shit that.
Speaker 4: We're gonna be talking about that they may or may
Speaker 4: not want to hear. But my dad is like, my
Speaker 4: dad is my our biggest fan.
Speaker 1: From the day we started is four years ago in
Speaker 1: our undies in our room, you had Marley May strapped
Speaker 1: to your titty like we were recording.
Speaker 4: I was recording in my scrub.
Speaker 1: Still he has not ever missed an episode, so he
Speaker 1: hears it all anyway, But this.
Speaker 4: Will be the first time that they'll be there, like NRL.
Speaker 3: Watching this go down. I don't know how I feel
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 2: I also love that like the difference between your dad,
Speaker 2: Papatoni and Terry burn Terry Brn thinks it's called a
Speaker 2: pod book and he doesn't know what a pod book is,
Speaker 2: and we are going to keep it that way because
Speaker 2: Terry Brn never needs to know the things that his
Speaker 2: daughter talks about on this podnost No.
Speaker 4: Terry Burrn absolutely does not.
Speaker 1: But also just so you guys know, we don't want
Speaker 1: you to think that these hot shows are completely interviews
Speaker 1: with guests. Whilst we have guests at each show, they
Speaker 1: make up the second half and the interview portion.
Speaker 5: We're trying to keep it very much in line with
Speaker 5: how we bring.
Speaker 1: You our episodes, which is Laura and I at the start,
Speaker 1: which is the accidentally unfiltered, it's the embarrassing stories, the
Speaker 1: shit we do, the girl talk like you're just talking
Speaker 1: to your friends. That's all going to be exactly the same.
Speaker 1: It's just a lot of fun at the start, a
Speaker 1: lot of throwing each other and ourselves under the bus.
Speaker 1: And then the second half is where we really get
Speaker 1: into the interviews and the guest part and hopefully teaching
Speaker 1: you something from each person that comes to talk to
Speaker 1: us on the stage.
Speaker 3: So we're really really looking forward to it.
Speaker 2: If you haven't got your tickets to live shows, they
Speaker 2: are available on our website, but it's all through that
Speaker 2: ticketech and ticketmaster. So if you go to life on
Speaker 2: cuppodcast dot com dot au, there's a link on the
Speaker 2: homepage for tickets and it will take you through to
Speaker 2: whichever ticket retailer is kind of taking care.
Speaker 3: Of your city.
Speaker 2: All right, before we get into your questions, it is
Speaker 2: time for vibe and unsubscribe.
Speaker 3: Brittany Hocky, what is your vibe of the week.
Speaker 5: My vibe this week may or may not be because
Speaker 5: it's been number one on the podcast charts in Australia
Speaker 5: and the UK, probably America to for quite a while.
Speaker 3: And it's the trial of Lucy Letbie.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm sure if you haven't listened to the podcast,
Speaker 1: you've heard about this at the moment, because it's happening live.
Speaker 5: She's just been convicted. It's about Lucy let Be, this
Speaker 5: thirty three year old nurse that was just found guilty
Speaker 5: of murdering seven babies in the neonatal care unit over
Speaker 5: in the UK.
Speaker 3: Absolutely horrific. I hadn't I mean.
Speaker 2: Obviously I've heard about the story, but I didn't know
Speaker 2: that there was a podcast about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I love true crime, but this isn't
Speaker 1: why I was enthralled in this.
Speaker 4: I was enthralled because it started back.
Speaker 5: In twenty twenty two, I believe, and.
Speaker 3: It was live.
Speaker 1: Not many podcasts are allowed to report at the same
Speaker 1: time as the trial is happening, but this one was.
Speaker 1: And we know the reasons. In the past it hasn't happened.
Speaker 1: I think it happened here with the teacher's pet. When
Speaker 1: journalists are reporting simultaneously, it can interrupt the trial. But
Speaker 1: this was reported on every single week as the trial
Speaker 1: was going these journalists were going into the trial, watching
Speaker 1: it and reporting on them and interviewing a lot of
Speaker 1: different people along the way. I was just truly fascinated
Speaker 1: by this case.
Speaker 3: Because I just never in a million years would you.
Speaker 1: Think that somebody that went and studied to specifically care
Speaker 1: for these babies and give them the best possible actum
Speaker 1: of life would end up being one of the UK's
Speaker 1: biggest serial killers because she.
Speaker 4: Was murdering them.
Speaker 5: I binged it sixty two episodes and I think I
Speaker 5: listened to it in about four days.
Speaker 3: I couldn't put.
Speaker 5: It down because I couldn't understand why.
Speaker 1: And they read a lot of text messages out between
Speaker 1: her and other staff members. They have people impersonating her
Speaker 1: and other staff members, so like reading out in her voice.
Speaker 1: It's fucking horrific. And she has gone to prison, she's
Speaker 1: been convicted, and I mean, so she should she should
Speaker 1: rot in there. But it's my recommendation. I don't have kids,
Speaker 1: so I don't know how it will affect mothers to
Speaker 1: listen that. The people that have kids might not want
Speaker 1: to listen to that. But I also worked at a
Speaker 1: specialist pediatric hospital in the UK, so I knew a
Speaker 1: lot of the things that were talking about. I knew
Speaker 1: the hospitals they're referring to, So for me, maybe I
Speaker 1: hadn't added interest in it because of that. I'm not sure,
Speaker 1: but it's my vibe for this week.
Speaker 2: I think like one of the things that was so
Speaker 2: almost lack, I mean, it's so unbelievable about that story.
Speaker 2: Usually think about serial killers and you think about them
Speaker 2: that their reason for doing something is because they lack feeling,
Speaker 2: And then you think about this woman and the reason
Speaker 2: why or one of the motivating factors as to why
Speaker 2: she was doing this like horrendous, incomprehensible thing was because
Speaker 2: she wanted the validation and for people to feel sorry
Speaker 2: for her and to give her sympathy or to be
Speaker 2: a hero.
Speaker 3: Almost it's so sick.
Speaker 2: And the psychological part of it and the psychological motivation
Speaker 2: to what she did, I think is very interesting. Interesting
Speaker 2: is probably not the right word, but it is. It's like,
Speaker 2: how does someone ever get to that point? Like what
Speaker 2: is going on in that person's brain? And it's just
Speaker 2: absolutely frightening.
Speaker 5: So just hearing how she hin, like the things that
Speaker 5: she did later on, like she would write a letter
Speaker 5: to a family, like she would she had murdered their child,
Speaker 5: and then a year later she'd written like a letter
Speaker 5: to them and written cards to them, and she would
Speaker 5: sporadically search their names and news articles.
Speaker 4: Like Proper Proper Sick.
Speaker 1: She would keep mementos almost from this kids' time in
Speaker 1: the family's time in hospital.
Speaker 3: And it's crazy.
Speaker 5: But if she was eventually found out and brought to
Speaker 5: justice and anyway, we.
Speaker 3: Don't need to talk about it anymore. But it's a
Speaker 3: big one.
Speaker 4: It's a hard one.
Speaker 1: But if you are looking for another podcast, as I said,
Speaker 1: the sixty episodes, so you really do get stuck in there,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 2: My recommendation for the week is by Jesse Stevens. It
Speaker 2: is the new book that she's written. It's just come out.
Speaker 2: You guys know who Jesse Stevens is. We've had her
Speaker 2: on the podcast before. She is part of Mamma Mia
Speaker 2: out Loud. She's like one third of Mamma mea Out Loud.
Speaker 2: But she also did an interview with us not so
Speaker 2: long ago around Vaginismus, which was so interesting. But Jesse,
Speaker 2: she wrote a new book. It's called something Bad as
Speaker 2: Going On Happen Now. We recommended years ago Heartsick, which
Speaker 2: was Jesse's first book. It was phenomenal. It was all
Speaker 2: around the universal feeling of pain that we go through
Speaker 2: when we go through heartbreak, and how heartbreak is essentially
Speaker 2: the same for everyone, but how when you experience it
Speaker 2: it is so unique for yourself. You often think nobody
Speaker 2: else has ever been this heartbroke, and nobody else could
Speaker 2: possibly have felt this much pain, because it seems insurmountable
Speaker 2: when you're going through it.
Speaker 3: I adored her first book.
Speaker 2: It was so well written, and I think that there
Speaker 2: were so many parts about it that even you and I, Britt,
Speaker 2: when we were reading it and comparing our kind of
Speaker 2: war stories around heartbreak, there were so many bits in
Speaker 2: that that we found so relatable.
Speaker 4: She's a brilliant writer.
Speaker 2: It's like speaking to your own experience, but from a
Speaker 2: third lens.
Speaker 3: This book.
Speaker 2: I have only just started it, so I'm recommending something
Speaker 2: that was recommended to me that I'm only a couple
Speaker 2: of chapters into. But I love the way that Jesse
Speaker 2: Stevens writes, And just to give you an overview of
Speaker 2: what the book is about. So Adela is the main character.
Speaker 2: She's in her late twenty and the book starts with
Speaker 2: her in a psychiatric hospital, and it touches on conversations
Speaker 2: around depression, it touches on conversations around anxiety, and kind
Speaker 2: of this not coming of age, because obviously not everybody
Speaker 2: experiences these things, but this idea that maybe your life
Speaker 2: isn't where or what you expected it to be. And
Speaker 2: I think the thing that's really interesting about this is
Speaker 2: that it starts when the book actually starts, it is
Speaker 2: a new year, so it's just come off the back
Speaker 2: of New Years. And we've spoken about this like milestone
Speaker 2: anxiety a lot on the podcast before this feeling that
Speaker 2: especially when you kind of come through a new year,
Speaker 2: it marks for a lot of people at benchmark as
Speaker 2: to whether you've leveled up in life against the things
Speaker 2: that you've set for yourself in the previous year, whether
Speaker 2: you made those New Year's resolutions, or whether you have
Speaker 2: succeeded in whatever the arbitrary benchmark was that you placed
Speaker 2: for yourself. And I just like I said, I love
Speaker 2: the way that Jesse writes, and I am two chapters in.
Speaker 2: It's brilliant. So far, it's very early days to give
Speaker 2: a recommendation. This is an early reco I am going
Speaker 2: to finish the book while I'm away in Balley, and
Speaker 2: then I will come back and tell you guys exactly
Speaker 2: what I think of it.
Speaker 5: Whilst it's an early reco I think you can probably
Speaker 5: pretty safely say, you know, the rest of it's going
Speaker 5: to be great because she's just a banger, yeah okay,
Speaker 5: and produce a Keisha she has to come and jump into.
Speaker 3: I'm literally sitting it just you know.
Speaker 2: I'm sitting in producing Gisha's bedroom because I couldn't record
Speaker 2: from home this morning because the kids were absolutely feral.
Speaker 2: I'm sitting on her little desk and I have a
Speaker 2: pillow stuffed against the walls.
Speaker 3: With socks on our microphone.
Speaker 2: We've got socks back on the microphone and a coven
Speaker 2: in dog Hare.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: My recommendation for this week is actually a podcast that's
Speaker 5: done by Adore Beauty and for transparency, I had a
Speaker 5: little bit to do with the editing of one season
Speaker 5: of this, but I'm actually going to recommend the other
Speaker 5: season that I didn't have anything to do with. It's
Speaker 5: called Skincare School and it's done by doctor Michelle Wong,
Speaker 5: who you might not on Instagram as lab Muff and
Speaker 5: Beauty science. She is a cosmetic chemist. We often talk
Speaker 5: about skincare, what we're using and what's working for us.
Speaker 5: You guys are on the skin suticals train. Yeah, so good,
Speaker 5: which I'm very jealous of. So this podcast isn't necessarily
Speaker 5: about like a particular product. It's more about, I guess
Speaker 5: you would say, the science behind how different skin care
Speaker 5: things work. And they've got episodes on like what vitamin
Speaker 5: A is or retinol and how it actually works. They
Speaker 5: go through things like hyperpigmentation, sundamage, malasma like there's all
Speaker 5: these different episodes, So I guess you can pick and
Speaker 5: choose for whichever thing you are concerned about at the time,
Speaker 5: or maybe you just want to learn.
Speaker 3: A little bit more about.
Speaker 5: I was speaking about this with a friend throughout the week,
Speaker 5: and that's kind of why it was top of mind
Speaker 5: for me, because we were talking about the order that
Speaker 5: you can use products in and how you can or
Speaker 5: cannot use certain things at the same time because they
Speaker 5: can interact with each other.
Speaker 3: And another thing that I really.
Speaker 5: Loved that I learned from this podcast was what to
Speaker 5: spend money on and what I was able to kind
Speaker 5: of save money on with my skincare, so they do
Speaker 5: have product recommendations, but it's also about like the type
Speaker 5: of product, why certain actives like degrade over time, why
Speaker 5: you'll have them in certain colored glass bottles and you
Speaker 5: need to store them in a cupboard to make them
Speaker 5: last longer. And I am a bit of like a
Speaker 5: science geek, but I really loved this. And I also
Speaker 5: think that if you're investing money that you work really
Speaker 5: hard for in skin care, you might as well know
Speaker 5: how it works, why it works, and how you're best
Speaker 5: going to spend that money. Skincare school, you can get
Speaker 5: it wherever you listen to your podcast. That's my recommendation
Speaker 5: for the week.
Speaker 4: And your skin is great too, So do what Kisha says.
Speaker 5: Thank you. I mean, I was on romakazine for nine
Speaker 5: months last year, so I've been through a skincare journey.
Speaker 5: But now it's looking fresh. Well.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 5: Well, let's get into the questions.
Speaker 3: Question number one.
Speaker 2: I've been in a relationship and living with my partner
Speaker 2: for three point five years now three and a half.
Speaker 2: He's so fun, loving, generous, accepting of me, and so
Speaker 2: affectionate with words and affirmation. There is so much that
Speaker 2: I love about our relationship. However, when it comes to
Speaker 2: having any sort of deeper conversation, he consistently shuts down,
Speaker 2: no matter the topic, whether this be about our relationship
Speaker 2: or discussing a deeper topic of interest, for example, politics,
Speaker 2: unpacking childhoods, relationships with parents, misogyny, the patriarchy, racism, religion.
Speaker 2: He will always listen and is happy for me to
Speaker 2: say what's on my mind. However, he never knows how
Speaker 2: to respond or how to add to the conversation, other
Speaker 2: than to say nothing or to sometimes make a senseless,
Speaker 2: immature joke. I really struggle in these moments, as it
Speaker 2: makes me feel really alone, like I'm giving a lecture
Speaker 2: to someone or having a conversation with myself.
Speaker 3: I don't know what is.
Speaker 2: Normal or what is a normal amount of deeper conversation
Speaker 2: that most men typically engage in for how long or
Speaker 2: for how often? I am so easily able to have
Speaker 2: these types of conversations with all my female friends, and
Speaker 2: I'm at a bit of a loss what to do. Also,
Speaker 2: it's her first real relationship, and she says that she
Speaker 2: sees him as a potential life partner. However, I feel
Speaker 2: it is important to be able to communicate well and
Speaker 2: hold deeper conversations thoughts.
Speaker 5: I don't think you're gonna lie what I have to say.
Speaker 1: It is really important to be able to communicate with
Speaker 1: your partner and have conversations if that's what's important to you,
Speaker 1: and it is what's important to you. It sounds like
Speaker 1: the things that you're interested in, the patriarchy, misogyny, childhood's politics,
Speaker 1: they're not everyone's cup of tea, And it sounds like
Speaker 1: it's not your partner's cup of tea, which is totally fine.
Speaker 1: His interests obviously lie elsewhere. Does that mean it's the
Speaker 1: end of the relationship. Of course not not if you're
Speaker 1: happy to not be having these deep conversations. But I
Speaker 1: don't think you can force someone to have a conversation
Speaker 1: about something that they're genuinely not interested in. Also sounds
Speaker 1: like he's not being rude and he's listening. He just
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like he knows how to contribute on the
Speaker 1: level you are. Maybe it's just about interests, or maybe
Speaker 1: there's an intellectual difference there as well, which can definitely
Speaker 1: be a problem in some relationships.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's a tricky one because, like I
Speaker 2: have two different feelings about this, like, would I be
Speaker 2: able to be in a relationship with someone who I
Speaker 2: felt like I couldn't connect with on a deeper level. No,
Speaker 2: I think it's really important to be able to find
Speaker 2: some topics that you can relate to on a deeper level.
Speaker 2: And now it's not to say that he doesn't have
Speaker 2: necessarily an interest in it at all, but it may
Speaker 2: be that he doesn't have the emotional IQ to be
Speaker 2: able to hold a deeper conversation. Maybe his parents never
Speaker 2: modeled that. Maybe they didn't have those types of conversations
Speaker 2: as far as he was ever privy to. Maybe they
Speaker 2: never had those types of conversations with him, And so
Speaker 2: like he maybe has gotten through life thinking that his
Speaker 2: surface level style of conversation is deep. And I think
Speaker 2: like I've dated men in the past where they would
Speaker 2: have thought that we had a deep connection, and in
Speaker 2: my mind, I was like, I feel like you don't
Speaker 2: even know me, Like I feel like I haven't even
Speaker 2: gotten to the crux of the things that I love
Speaker 2: or who I am as a person that yet you
Speaker 2: think that what we have is deep. And I think
Speaker 2: it's because other people have different levels of expectations when
Speaker 2: it comes to this stuff.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 2: The only thing I want to say is, like, one,
Speaker 2: you need to decide how important it is to you
Speaker 2: to be able to have the types of conversations that
Speaker 2: you have with your girlfriends with him, because if you think,
Speaker 2: guess what, that's being satiated in another area. Like you know,
Speaker 2: because sometimes we can expect our partners to be everything,
Speaker 2: and we've spoken about this before on the podcast. We
Speaker 2: expect them to be able to have deep conversations, to
Speaker 2: treat us with beautiful affection, to love us, to you know,
Speaker 2: be that pillar of support, and also to provide some
Speaker 2: sort of spiritual relief along with everything else that a
Speaker 2: relationship does. But it's not possible for one person to
Speaker 2: give you everything. So I guess you can make that decision. Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: maybe that part of you is going to be satisfied
Speaker 2: by your friends, the people who you can have those
Speaker 2: conversations with. And he's great for all the other reasons
Speaker 2: that you love him and are in love with him,
Speaker 2: But I do think that for me, I would struggle
Speaker 2: not being able to have a relationship with someone where
Speaker 2: they weren't even trying to get down onto a deeper level.
Speaker 3: And when we say like topics like.
Speaker 2: Misogyny, the patriarchy, or whatever it is that you're talking about.
Speaker 2: She also had things in there, like her childhood, like
Speaker 2: talking about the past, and sometimes I think being able
Speaker 2: to open up and share the complexities around maybe you
Speaker 2: have a challenging childhood, maybe there's been trauma, maybe you've
Speaker 2: been through a bad breakup, whatever it is, those conversations
Speaker 2: that will allow you to actually get a little bit
Speaker 2: deeper with your partner and feel like you're connected with them,
Speaker 2: those vulnerabilities. It sounds like he struggles with getting vulnerable. Well,
Speaker 2: I think there are two different layers here.
Speaker 1: For me, it's one thing that he doesn't have the
Speaker 1: interests you have and doesn't want to discuss politics or
Speaker 1: religion or racism. But it's another thing if he also
Speaker 1: doesn't want to show an interest in you.
Speaker 3: They're two separate things.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's okay to show if he's show
Speaker 1: an an interest in you and your childhood and everything else,
Speaker 1: and you still feel like you're getting that from him,
Speaker 1: It's okay to have different interests outside of that, and
Speaker 1: maybe you're having these deeper, more intellectual conversations with friends
Speaker 1: or people that share the interests that you do. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be breaking up with someone because I'm trying to
Speaker 1: have a political conversation and they don't want a part
Speaker 1: of it. But there has to be a meet halfway,
Speaker 1: like there has to because sometimes you do want to
Speaker 1: nut out something. It might be something that's happening in
Speaker 1: the news, some viral news at the moment. It might
Speaker 1: be Trump going to prison and being impeached. It might
Speaker 1: be whatever it is. You can have a conversation about
Speaker 1: that that's on a surface level. It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be deep, but it's still going back and forth.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, and I think the other part of this is,
Speaker 2: I mean, this is the first big relationship that this
Speaker 2: person's ever had. There may come a point where you
Speaker 2: don't feel intellectually challenged in your relationship, where you don't
Speaker 2: feel like you are stimulated by it, because you know,
Speaker 2: for a lot of people, once the physical side is
Speaker 2: not as strong, maybe you know, maybe the honeymoon phases over.
Speaker 2: Whatever it is you've been together for three and a
Speaker 2: half years, but like that side of things can wane.
Speaker 2: What is left if you're not physically stimulated or if
Speaker 2: you don't have you know, I'm sure they have so
Speaker 2: much fun and the comedy or whatever else is there
Speaker 2: that kind of supplements it. But I do think you
Speaker 2: have to be able to be vulnerable and to get
Speaker 2: down on that deeper level with your partners, Like I
Speaker 2: think it's so important to most people. There might come
Speaker 2: a point where you're like, we haven't been able to
Speaker 2: progress because he doesn't have the ability to. And maybe
Speaker 2: he doesn't have the ability because, like we said, he's
Speaker 2: not emotionally intelligent enough, or he's not at the same
Speaker 2: level as you are when it comes to your sort
Speaker 2: of EQ, but also your Q.
Speaker 1: I also think it's okay to tell him that. I
Speaker 1: also think it's okay to say, hey, I feel like
Speaker 1: we're lacking in having these conversations, like how do you
Speaker 1: feel about this when I talk to you and you
Speaker 1: listen so well. Are you checking out internally because this
Speaker 1: bores you more than anything in the world or is
Speaker 1: it because you don't understand the topic because there's a
Speaker 1: lot of lack of education in a lot of things
Speaker 1: happening in the world. Depends on what you do day
Speaker 1: to day, because if you're motivated to find out, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a difference with being a builder, right, and you're
Speaker 1: on a job site all day. You're not scrolling the internet,
Speaker 1: you're not keeping up to date with the news. You've
Speaker 1: got that physical job that you're talking with people all day.
Speaker 1: Then there's another whole world. If your job is online
Speaker 1: and its content and you're available to what's happening in
Speaker 1: the world, it's different because you feel like you're more
Speaker 1: connected to those world events. It could be a lack
Speaker 1: of education thing. I think I'd have the conversation with him.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be breaking up with him, but I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be settling if I'm an unhappy But do.
Speaker 2: You know, I think the only thing though, that would
Speaker 2: be my red flag beyond like feeling like everything is
Speaker 2: surface level, which I think is a red flag in itself.
Speaker 2: But my big red flag wouldn't so much just be
Speaker 2: that he's not interested or he's not able to hold
Speaker 2: the conversation. Does he seem to have conflicting views, like
Speaker 2: you know when you say you bring up quite deep
Speaker 2: or challenging topics and you feel like he doesn't have
Speaker 2: the ability to respond. Does he hold space for your
Speaker 2: side of the conversation. Is he interested in it at all?
Speaker 2: Does he challenge you because he has alternate views? I
Speaker 2: think like that's where things can become more problematic when
Speaker 2: you don't have the same ideology around these sorts of things.
Speaker 2: But if it's a lack of ability or a lack
Speaker 2: of interest, I think that that's going to come down
Speaker 2: to like long term, you may just be not suited
Speaker 2: to each other when it comes to your emotional IQ.
Speaker 5: Okay, this is a random question, very funny. I think
Speaker 5: I'm a bit of a bay to be.
Speaker 1: Ladies, eye contact open or eyes closed during sex?
Speaker 3: I'm very much open.
Speaker 1: I like eye contact and I candy, but all my
Speaker 1: friends have said hands down, eyes closed, And now I
Speaker 1: feel like a psycho.
Speaker 3: What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2: I mean, have you got your eyes open for the
Speaker 2: whole thing? Like from war to go? It seems like
Speaker 2: are you blinking?
Speaker 3: I don't think she's blinking? No, okay, what do you
Speaker 3: I don't want to go first?
Speaker 5: Why?
Speaker 4: I'm both I'm a bit a b to be.
Speaker 2: But do you close your eyes at the start and
Speaker 2: then during climax you hold onto each other's faces and
Speaker 2: stare into each other's eyes.
Speaker 1: I don't think about it, but I think that like
Speaker 1: I'm not like, okay, it's chapter one. I am entering
Speaker 1: with my eyes open. You're doing dogging and turning around
Speaker 1: trying to make eye contact.
Speaker 5: Feel like when my dog does a shit and she
Speaker 5: looks over shoulder at me, Like no, I'm both.
Speaker 1: I don't think it, Mads. I don't like excessive prolonged
Speaker 1: eye contact. I do not like that gets a bit
Speaker 1: weird for me. Like people they want to look into
Speaker 1: our eyes for twenty minutes. I'm like, stop it, Like
Speaker 1: that makes me.
Speaker 2: Real that it's a real eye contact person? Is that
Speaker 2: too much information have across about ill? Because I'm just
Speaker 2: thinking of someone staring at me for twenty minutes in
Speaker 2: sex he Matt loves a bit of eye contact. I'm
Speaker 2: I'm eye contact avoidant. Eye contact makes me feel weird,
Speaker 2: like I'm being what are you doing when Matt's looking
Speaker 2: at you?
Speaker 3: Oh, like I will do eye contact, but I'm not.
Speaker 2: I We'll just find it's too much.
Speaker 4: But he's looking at you.
Speaker 3: Where what are you doing? I close my eyes.
Speaker 5: I just picked your eyes going all googly like all
Speaker 5: over the place, like rolling around in so I just can't.
Speaker 3: It's just too much.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's too intense eye contact for prolonged
Speaker 2: periods of time throughout sex, just I don't want to giggle.
Speaker 3: I think you've got to pick the peak moment.
Speaker 1: Like a bit of eye contact can be sexy and
Speaker 1: hot make you feel confident, but too much makes you
Speaker 1: feel vulnerable.
Speaker 2: And the lights are on, the eyes are open.
Speaker 3: There's too much going on here.
Speaker 2: Okay, what about eye contact throughout the full duration of
Speaker 2: orgasmin like right when they're coming to climax, staring intently
Speaker 2: into your eyes.
Speaker 3: It's a lot.
Speaker 1: Again, I don't take notes, so I'm I'm not sure
Speaker 1: that I can.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you would know what I feel like, if
Speaker 3: you've experienced it, you would know that it's happening. I
Speaker 3: would do both. I would do both.
Speaker 1: I think it just depends on where you are, what
Speaker 1: what's the position?
Speaker 4: Is it nighttime? Are the lights on? There's heaps of things.
Speaker 3: But I don't think it's weird to have a little
Speaker 3: bit of it. Oh No, I definitely don't think.
Speaker 2: I think staggered eye contact throughout the duration of intercourse
Speaker 2: is necessary. Do I think from where to go eye
Speaker 2: contact is necessary? No, it's a little bit overbearing.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 5: If I had to answer, like, am I more open
Speaker 5: or more closed? I would say I'm more closed. Okay,
Speaker 5: if I'm trying to work out, like if it was
Speaker 5: a fifty to fifty pendulum, I.
Speaker 2: Would say you'd be closed for sure. My eyes are closed,
Speaker 2: but often they open.
Speaker 3: I'm just looking like fifty.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I like, I don't want anyone to listen to this
Speaker 2: and think that like I don't like eye contact. I mean,
Speaker 2: God forbid that anyone leaves this podcast with.
Speaker 3: The wrong impression of me.
Speaker 2: I do, but I just don't like too much of
Speaker 2: it because it makes me feel weird.
Speaker 5: Do you make eye contact when it's pinkiness?
Speaker 3: No. I haven't had a finger in my ass in ages.
Speaker 3: It's not the same as you're doing it when you.
Speaker 2: No, Matt would never let me stick my finger in
Speaker 2: his ass, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Never.
Speaker 2: I keep telling him he's going to enjoy it, and
Speaker 2: he's like, I will not. It will not happen.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you, you will love it.
Speaker 2: Seven years of our relationship and all I want to
Speaker 2: do is put a finger in his dumb and he
Speaker 2: won't let me. No, I will definitely not just do it.
Speaker 2: That goes against everything we preach it.
Speaker 5: You almost did myself, because consent is important.
Speaker 2: No, he's he said, he doesn't like it, and he's
Speaker 2: tried it before. I was like, we haven't tried it
Speaker 2: with my finger, and he said they're all the same.
Speaker 2: I said, my finger might be different anyway. These are
Speaker 2: the conversations we have. If I just brought you too
Speaker 2: far into our will talking about having those deep conversations
Speaker 2: with your partner. We do it whilst we make eye
Speaker 2: contact with each other, just like, oh my god, I
Speaker 2: can't look at the end of the day.
Speaker 3: There's no right or wrong.
Speaker 4: Do what feels right.
Speaker 2: There's no right or wrong, but gauge what the other
Speaker 2: person's doing. If they're not making eye contact back and
Speaker 2: you're trying to stare at them, it might be too much.
Speaker 3: They might not enjoy it.
Speaker 2: But I do think there's something very sexy and intense
Speaker 2: about icon contact right when you're orgasming.
Speaker 5: I think another lot another thing to think about is
Speaker 5: what noise is going on at this time, because it's
Speaker 5: one thing to be making eye contact, but if someone's
Speaker 5: really noisy and going for it, it's pretty off putting.
Speaker 1: If they're staring at you and squealing, do it to
Speaker 1: me right now and give me your sex noise.
Speaker 3: I don't have a sex noise. That's why you're not
Speaker 3: your silence. You're all of sex, that's not it. But
Speaker 3: if someone's taking noise and looking at you, that's weird.
Speaker 3: I think the eye open contact has to be pretty silent.
Speaker 3: Do you reckon yeah?
Speaker 2: Or quite low decibel. I think I'm pretty silent as
Speaker 2: it is. I'm just like a low moan. Anyway, this
Speaker 2: is a lot. Let's get into the fuck.
Speaker 3: Answered eating?
Speaker 4: What question? That was?
Speaker 3: Okay? Question number three.
Speaker 2: My partner will wake up first thing in the morning
Speaker 2: and check his phone in bed guilty while he's next
Speaker 2: to me, and reply to work emails and messages he's
Speaker 2: missed overnight, whereas I'm the type of person who likes
Speaker 2: to wake.
Speaker 3: Up not on my phone straight away.
Speaker 2: And he will also often talk to me while he's
Speaker 2: on his phone and therefore not fully hear what I'm
Speaker 2: saying to him.
Speaker 3: That's really annoying. We all do that.
Speaker 2: He wakes up and goes straight into work mode, and
Speaker 2: it really irks me. As I like to have boundaries
Speaker 2: around technology. I know I can't and shouldn't tell him
Speaker 2: what to do, but I'm also struggling on my end
Speaker 2: because of it.
Speaker 3: What can I do? I think you can have boundaries
Speaker 3: and tell him what to do. Nah, I don't. No,
Speaker 3: phone's in bed. I don't think you can tell them that.
Speaker 1: But I think you can have a conversation that makes
Speaker 1: you unhappy and maybe dedicate ten minutes to you first.
Speaker 1: You can have a convot But I don't think you
Speaker 1: can be like this is the rule because it's both
Speaker 1: of your beds.
Speaker 3: It's not just unless it is just your Ben, he's
Speaker 3: over there. But I'm bad for this.
Speaker 5: I'm really bad for I wake up in the morning
Speaker 5: and I literally open my eyes, roll over, and pick
Speaker 5: up my phone within five seconds. But I feel like
Speaker 5: that's mainly because I know I'm on a real time
Speaker 5: limit to talk to Ben, because I'm in this long
Speaker 5: distance relationship. When I wake up, it's really late at
Speaker 5: night for him, so I know he's going to bed.
Speaker 5: So the second I roll over, I wake up and
Speaker 5: I basically call him.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But that's different.
Speaker 2: You're literally waking up to answer your phone to make
Speaker 2: contact with your partner.
Speaker 3: Exact.
Speaker 2: The thing is is most people in relationships are lying
Speaker 2: in bed next to each other, and then they roll
Speaker 2: over the opposite direction to their partner. They roll away
Speaker 2: from their partner, they pick up their phone and then
Speaker 2: instantly there's this barrier between them because their whole cognitive
Speaker 2: ability is distracted by that little screen.
Speaker 1: Again, I don't think checking your phone is the end
Speaker 1: of the world if you can check it and then
Speaker 1: roll back over and give your partner the attention they need. Like,
Speaker 1: if you have a business that is run on international hours,
Speaker 1: if you're doing banking, trading, whatever it is that things
Speaker 1: are happening for your business overnight, then you probably have
Speaker 1: to wake up and check that and make sure everything's
Speaker 1: in order. But then you've got to be able to
Speaker 1: roll back over and give your partner some attention. You
Speaker 1: one hundred percent can say yo, every single morning, you
Speaker 1: make me feel pretty shitty because I feel like you
Speaker 1: don't even care I'm there.
Speaker 3: I feel like you're not listening to me.
Speaker 1: You can one hundred percent say that it's very dependent
Speaker 1: on what he's checking.
Speaker 5: If he's rolling over and he's on TikTok and you're like,
Speaker 5: I'm naked in bed wanting some attention, and he'd rather
Speaker 5: scrolled chicktak ticktack, it's the problem.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think that they're Yes, you can't make your partner
Speaker 2: do something that they don't want to do right, Like,
Speaker 2: you can obviously tell them how you feel about it,
Speaker 2: but I do think you can have boundaries when it
Speaker 2: comes to bed, like no phone's in bed. If that's
Speaker 2: something that's making you so upset, like it's something that's
Speaker 2: really an issue for you, then it means that if
Speaker 2: he wants to then use his phone, put it on
Speaker 2: charge on the other side of the room. So at
Speaker 2: least when he wakes up, the first thing he does
Speaker 2: is roll over and give you a kiss, and then
Speaker 2: he has to physically get up out of bed if he.
Speaker 3: Wants to check you.
Speaker 1: Up phone please, It could be worse He's like, I'm
Speaker 1: up now because I're gonna get up to get.
Speaker 3: My phone, which might actually be what happens.
Speaker 2: But at least then you know it's easier to kind
Speaker 2: of explain to him the barrier that that creates for you.
Speaker 2: But I think so many of us are guilty of
Speaker 2: doing it. I know I do it with Matt, like
Speaker 2: phones have been created. We did a really great episode
Speaker 2: with Johann Hari last year. It was called this One's
Speaker 2: for the scatter Brains, and I will put the episode
Speaker 2: in the show notes that you can go back and
Speaker 2: listen to it, because it truly was such an amazing chat.
Speaker 2: But Johann Hari was talking about how phones and all
Speaker 2: of the apps that are on phones are created in
Speaker 2: order to keep your attention for as much time as possible,
Speaker 2: and like we live in a world where our attention
Speaker 2: is constantly being stolen from us, and it's so hard
Speaker 2: to fight against it. So like he is a victim
Speaker 2: of what we all are victims of. You know, it's
Speaker 2: the minority of people who have healthy boundaries when it
Speaker 2: comes to technology. I know when I've spoken about it
Speaker 2: before because its definitely something that I struggle with. It's
Speaker 2: something that Matt struggles with, and I would be interested
Speaker 2: to hear brit how you go when you are in
Speaker 2: Scotland and you are actually in bed next to Ben,
Speaker 2: whether you do roll over and check Instagram or check
Speaker 2: your emails, because.
Speaker 5: It's exactly the same. I roll over and I'm straight
Speaker 5: on my phone.
Speaker 1: Because of what I said before, people work international hours,
Speaker 1: so when I wake up in Scotland, you guys back
Speaker 1: here and everyone else that we work with with the
Speaker 1: radio and whoever have been working in the workday.
Speaker 3: So the first thing I do.
Speaker 1: And I'm doing email straight away while Ben's in bed,
Speaker 1: because as people need to reply to and get back to.
Speaker 5: But then I give him full time, Like I'm like two.
Speaker 5: I will say to him, can you give me five minutes?
Speaker 1: I'm going to smash out some emails and urgent responses,
Speaker 1: and then I'm all yours, But.
Speaker 5: I have to roll over and start that work day.
Speaker 2: I would be so interested it. Maybe it's something that
Speaker 2: we can poll on social media. I would be so
Speaker 2: interested to know how many people have relationship dissatisfaction at
Speaker 2: the moment because they feel as though their partner all
Speaker 2: themselves spends too much time on their phone. I think
Speaker 2: that the answers to that will be absolutely alarming. I'm
Speaker 2: just guessing, and I'm maybe projecting because it is something that,
Speaker 2: like I said, you know, we struggle with.
Speaker 3: But I do think that for a.
Speaker 2: Lot of people, that comes a point where you have
Speaker 2: to put in boundaries, you have to put in rules,
Speaker 2: and it's almost like those rules, most people stick to
Speaker 2: them for a couple of days or a couple of weeks,
Speaker 2: and then it all just kind of goes back to normal.
Speaker 2: But I think having no phones in bed is a
Speaker 2: really good one and a really big one if you
Speaker 2: want to start to kind of like have a little
Speaker 2: bit of separation between your relationship and technology, and having
Speaker 2: an iPhone in between the two of you.
Speaker 1: I reckon the majority of people would say they have
Speaker 1: a level of dissatisfaction. I would imagine that's how the
Speaker 1: pole will come back.
Speaker 2: Because of phone, not because the phone, because of how
Speaker 2: easy it is to be distracted, because of how easy
Speaker 2: it is to doom scroll. And you know, I actually
Speaker 2: I watched this really interesting TikTok the other day and lol,
Speaker 2: that's a fucking irony in itself, Okay, And it was.
Speaker 5: You spent at seven am the other morning and I
Speaker 5: was watching TikTok.
Speaker 2: I told Matt I needed to go to sleep earlier,
Speaker 2: but really I stayed in bed watching tiatoks. No that
Speaker 2: this TikTok was it was a split screen. It was
Speaker 2: pretty juvenile in the way that it was creator, but
Speaker 2: it did make you think like it was a split
Speaker 2: screen around relationships, and it was like, it's the small
Speaker 2: things that you do that reinforces feeling loved and validated
Speaker 2: in a relationship vers feeling like you're you don't exist,
Speaker 2: like feeling like a ghost and basically the first one
Speaker 2: was the woman walked through the door and the husband
Speaker 2: got up and gave her a kiss. Right, it was
Speaker 2: heterosexual couple. The husband got up and gave her a kiss.
Speaker 2: And in the second one, the woman walked through the
Speaker 2: door and the husband was sitting on the couch on
Speaker 2: his phone, and it was like from the very instant
Speaker 2: that she got home from work, there was a level
Speaker 2: of dismissiveness. And then it was like the same thing
Speaker 2: going to bed, rolling over and giving each other a
Speaker 2: kiss good night, and you know, having that ten minutes
Speaker 2: to kind of debrief or whatever it is just before
Speaker 2: going to sleep, rather than scrolling and then turning your
Speaker 2: back on each other and saying good night, you know,
Speaker 2: and putting your phone on charge again. And it's all
Speaker 2: these little microactions that we have throughout the day and
Speaker 2: throughout our interactions with our partners, whether we lean into
Speaker 2: the relationship or whether we lean away from.
Speaker 3: It by being on technology.
Speaker 2: I watched it and I was like, it's so true,
Speaker 2: and so many of us are guilty for it. Last up,
Speaker 2: I have a work question. Now this one. I have
Speaker 2: some advice on this because I had a similar situation.
Speaker 2: Happens recently with Tony May. All right, when applying for
Speaker 2: a new job and the salary is a range, for
Speaker 2: example thirty five dollars an hour up to fifty two
Speaker 2: dollars an hour, and they ask what you're expecting when
Speaker 2: you're at the screening slash interview process. How do you
Speaker 2: know what price to ask for? How much money you
Speaker 2: should price yourself as? What are some tips for self
Speaker 2: confidence going into negotiations when it comes to money and work.
Speaker 3: Brittany is the negotiator of life uncut.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I negotiate everything.
Speaker 3: I'm the money person. Brittany is the hustler hard I
Speaker 3: have hustled in our time.
Speaker 1: Look my instinct and the first thing I want to
Speaker 1: say is you'd be gone for the top dollar. Everyone
Speaker 1: wants to be paid the most for their work and
Speaker 1: for who they are and for what they bring. Nobody
Speaker 1: wants to feel undervalued or underpaid in a job. Ever,
Speaker 1: it's always tricky when a salary is arranged, Like they're
Speaker 1: not saying this is what we pay, this is what
Speaker 1: we expect. They're saying this is what we can pay.
Speaker 1: I would always go in armed with what you can
Speaker 1: bring and why you deserve that that's what they want
Speaker 1: to hear. They want to say, this is what we've
Speaker 1: got available, but tell us why we need to pay
Speaker 1: you the most. So you need to go in with
Speaker 1: a list of your qualifications to job, what you can bring,
Speaker 1: and you need to add in a bit of spice.
Speaker 1: What's your point of difference. They're going to see twenty
Speaker 1: five people in this day that are all going to
Speaker 1: say the same thing. I think I should be on
Speaker 1: fifty two dollars an hour because this is and this
Speaker 1: bring a bit of personality, bring something different. Show so
Speaker 1: an example, look, research the company, the job that you're
Speaker 1: going for, Research their mottos, what they're looking for. I
Speaker 1: know that this is the job you've said, but I
Speaker 1: reckon I could add this. I think we could pivot
Speaker 1: somewhere here and go this direction, use some initiative. The
Speaker 1: only thing I do want to say is the reason
Speaker 1: they have these ranges is because people do come with
Speaker 1: different qualifications.
Speaker 3: If you've just finished UNI.
Speaker 5: And you have no experience and this is your first job,
Speaker 5: you're going and probably going at the more entry level
Speaker 5: wage of thirty five to forty. But if you've been
Speaker 5: in this industry for twenty years, you're gonna be worth
Speaker 5: the highest bracket because you've got the experience that someone
Speaker 5: else doesn't.
Speaker 1: So you go in confident and know you're worth and
Speaker 1: know what you can bring. If you have on paper
Speaker 1: in front of them why you are the perfect person
Speaker 1: for the job, and why there's no crack that they
Speaker 1: could possibly be filled for you in that position while
Speaker 1: you feel every single crack, they can't argue the point.
Speaker 1: But if you don't have that information when you go
Speaker 1: into a job interview, if you cannot sell yourself, they're
Speaker 1: not going to give you the heights rate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's still it is still hard, right because
Speaker 2: I think this does it's a confidence game massively. But
Speaker 2: also we don't know what this industry is. It could
Speaker 2: be an industry where fifty sixty people all have similar
Speaker 2: qualifications and they've all applied for the job. And of
Speaker 2: course there's going to be your general vibe to that
Speaker 2: applicant when you're interviewing them. And I say this from
Speaker 2: as a business owner who has hired multiple people through
Speaker 2: Tony May you have a general vibe as to how
Speaker 2: they're going to fit into the team in terms of culture,
Speaker 2: Like you get it. You either get a good feeling
Speaker 2: for people, or you're like, oh, maybe they won't be
Speaker 2: a good culture fit.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: The thing is, though, you might have multiple people who
Speaker 2: seem like a good culture fit, and then you'll have
Speaker 2: people who ask for different pay brackets. Right, And you're
Speaker 2: exactly right, Britt, Like you have to kind of explain
Speaker 2: as to why you deserve a certain pay bracket. But interestingly,
Speaker 2: and on the flip side to this, I think that
Speaker 2: there are so many people who really want to work
Speaker 2: for a company or really want to work in a position,
Speaker 2: and so they will devalue what they're asking for because
Speaker 2: they think that makes them more competitive. Right, They're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to ask for fifty dollars an hour.
Speaker 2: I'm going to ask for thirty seven dollars an hour,
Speaker 2: even though they know that they could earn more than that,
Speaker 2: even though they know that they are deserving or they
Speaker 2: will be dissatisfied with earning thirty five an hour, but
Speaker 2: they say it because they're so fearful about missing out
Speaker 2: on the job.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: And this was an instance that we had recently with
Speaker 2: someone with Tony May who we hired, and I asked them, like,
Speaker 2: what are you looking for? We hadn't put out an
Speaker 2: amount on the job application, and I was like, what
Speaker 2: are you looking for in terms of payment for the job.
Speaker 2: And the amount that she said was like ten thousand
Speaker 2: dollars less than what we had budgeted for that job
Speaker 2: that we had expected it to go for. And I
Speaker 2: had a moment as an employer and I think that
Speaker 2: this would come as a surprise for me.
Speaker 3: That wasn't a plus.
Speaker 2: I wasn't like, oh, yeah, I'm going to say ten
Speaker 2: thousand dollars on this person's career. It made me annoy
Speaker 2: that she was devaluing herself. It made me think like, oh,
Speaker 2: do you not have the skills set to do this job?
Speaker 2: Or have you not done this job before? Because this
Speaker 2: is what you should be earning almost And it's kind
Speaker 2: of like you want someone in your business who has
Speaker 2: confidence and who can back themselves and can explain why
Speaker 2: they back themselves.
Speaker 3: I think that that's a really admirable trait.
Speaker 2: And I know there's going to be a lot of
Speaker 2: businesses who don't have those feelings, because that's an anomally
Speaker 2: you reckon.
Speaker 1: Because I one hundred there are not that many businesses
Speaker 1: out there now due to the economical crisis everything. There's
Speaker 1: not that many businesses out there being like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to throw you an extra ten grand. If someone comes
Speaker 1: in and says their selves at that value, I reckon
Speaker 1: ninety percent of businesses and say amazing, Yes.
Speaker 2: But I think the opposite to that is there are
Speaker 2: a lot of businesses that exploit their employees. There's a
Speaker 2: lot of businesses that have bad culture. And so if
Speaker 2: you're not going to get paid what you're worth working
Speaker 2: for someone, unless it is a situation where you are
Speaker 2: in dire need of a job, unless it is you're
Speaker 2: unemployed and you need to just get money and food
Speaker 2: on the table, that's a different circumstance.
Speaker 3: But what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: Is if you're changing jobs, if you are pivoting careers,
Speaker 2: if you are going through the interview process and you
Speaker 2: are just really wanting the job because you really want
Speaker 2: to work for this company, for example, if they aggressively
Speaker 2: will devalue what you are worth, and you're willing to
Speaker 2: devalue yourself because you want to work there, you're only
Speaker 2: going to end up resentful. You're only going to end
Speaker 2: up hating the job because in six months time, when
Speaker 2: you're earning not enough money for doing the work that
Speaker 2: you know you should be paid for, you will fucking
Speaker 2: hate it. So I think you have to pick a
Speaker 2: number in your head and go in with the confidence
Speaker 2: and explain why that is the amount that you think
Speaker 2: you deserve and that you want.
Speaker 1: That's really difficult what you said. I'm just thinking. I
Speaker 1: was thinking back as you were talking. I've never ever
Speaker 1: seen a job interview or gone for a job that
Speaker 1: hasn't had a price bracket or a price guide. I've
Speaker 1: never had a job like you put out that said,
Speaker 1: tell me what you want to be paid.
Speaker 2: Oh no, we had obviously have you have to when
Speaker 2: you put a thing up on sek, it's got a
Speaker 2: price guide to it, but you don't have to make
Speaker 2: a price guide visible, right, So when you search, it'll
Speaker 2: still come up within a certain pay bracket. And every job,
Speaker 2: whether it be a logistics manager or a customer service manager,
Speaker 2: has a medium price, right, So she still knew the bracket.
Speaker 3: There's still a.
Speaker 2: Bracket within the industry. But I mean you can pay
Speaker 2: people at the very bottom end of a bracket, or
Speaker 2: you can pay people at the middle. And I think
Speaker 2: companies who purposely pay their employees at the very bottom
Speaker 2: end of their And I'm not just talking about if
Speaker 2: it's a casual job where there's set wage like award wages.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about, you know, having like average.
Speaker 2: If you are working for a company that picks the
Speaker 2: very bottom wage for every single person, then I think
Speaker 2: that's a pretty fucking shitty culture to work for in
Speaker 2: a company.
Speaker 5: See, I mean, I spent thirteen years in the hospital system.
Speaker 1: Public hospitals is probably even worse. Private and public they're
Speaker 1: both the same pretty much. But I have never not
Speaker 1: had to argue why. And maybe this is why I'm
Speaker 1: such a good negotiator, but I've never had to not
Speaker 1: argue my wage ever. Improve myself and everyone that works
Speaker 1: everyone listening now will know exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: You have to to go upper price bracket. You have
Speaker 1: to prove every skill you've got, how long you've done it,
Speaker 1: how long you've been in that specific modality, what hospitals
Speaker 1: you've worked at, why you should be able to.
Speaker 3: Jump up into the next bracket.
Speaker 1: So you're constantly trying to prove they will always pay
Speaker 1: you the minimum and let you prove otherwise. Once it's
Speaker 1: on paper and you've proven your skill set and why
Speaker 1: you're worth it. They have no choice but to put
Speaker 1: you up. And I think that's a lot of industries.
Speaker 1: If you can prove your worth, they will most likely
Speaker 1: give you what you are worth.
Speaker 4: Now, that's the.
Speaker 2: Thing, right, You've got to in order to be able
Speaker 2: to prove your worth, you have to have the self
Speaker 2: confidence that you are worthy. The thing is is it's
Speaker 2: so hard to ask for a raise the first time.
Speaker 2: Anyone who's had to walk into their boss's office and
Speaker 2: try and pitch as to why they deserve ten percent,
Speaker 2: twenty percent, whatever it is that you're asking for. It
Speaker 2: is so fucking nerve racking to go in there and
Speaker 2: be like, I want fourteen percent pay rise because if
Speaker 2: this is in this reason, I go in there, put
Speaker 2: in paper, send an email.
Speaker 3: It's so hard.
Speaker 2: But the thing is is, like anything that you do
Speaker 2: that's new in life, the first time you do it,
Speaker 2: it's gonna suck, it's going to feel awful. They may
Speaker 2: say no, they may come back with a negotiation, meeting
Speaker 2: you halfway. But then the next time you do it,
Speaker 2: you kind of build up your thick skin around it
Speaker 2: till you get to a point where you're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I had the confidence I know my worth and I'm
Speaker 2: not going to work for less than that.
Speaker 1: The other thing is here, we are talking from so
Speaker 1: much privilege. Here, we are talking from positions. This advice
Speaker 1: is if you're privileged enough that you can say no
Speaker 1: to a job, if they're not going to hunt at work.
Speaker 1: There are a lot of people out there now and
Speaker 1: I feel like we've all been in that position that
Speaker 1: you will take whatever you can get because job security
Speaker 1: is scarce, and getting a great job at the moment,
Speaker 1: off the back of COVID and everything, it's really hard.
Speaker 1: So there are going to be times where you say,
Speaker 1: you know what, I will take a ten dollar an
Speaker 1: hour cut to get this job, and I will need
Speaker 1: it and because I need it, and then I'll do
Speaker 1: it for a year, and then in a year, I
Speaker 1: know that I will go and tell them. I will
Speaker 1: show them in the year, show your employer why you
Speaker 1: are not replaceable and why you are of value to
Speaker 1: that company or whatever position you're in. Go back a
Speaker 1: year later and then try and negotiate. Because it's easy
Speaker 1: for us to sit here and be like, no, you're
Speaker 1: worth and you should know you're worth. But unfortunately reality
Speaker 1: doesn't bless us in that way in this day and age,
Speaker 1: So I understand. I mean I have taken so many jobs,
Speaker 1: hospit jobs and non hospital jobs that I knew when
Speaker 1: I could get more somewhere else, and I knew I
Speaker 1: was worth more. But they were like, look, we know
Speaker 1: you've got that skill set, but this is a job
Speaker 1: on offer, this is in our budget.
Speaker 5: And you're like, well, fuck, but okay, I'll take it.
Speaker 1: I've got rent and I've got bills, and there's no
Speaker 1: other position going, so I'm going to take it. Most
Speaker 1: people are going to be in that position where they
Speaker 1: don't have the blessing to.
Speaker 4: Be like, fuck you, I'm with more. I'm going to
Speaker 4: go and find it somewhere else.
Speaker 2: But don't you then that you think that that contradicts
Speaker 2: what you said at the very beginning in terms of
Speaker 2: like going in and asking for the highest amount.
Speaker 3: I think it what it needs. It depends in your position.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's why, like you know, we
Speaker 2: said that in the middle of this kind of saying.
Speaker 2: We're talking about if it is purely that you have
Speaker 2: the opportunity to and you have the privilege to be
Speaker 2: able to move within your career or you're starting a
Speaker 2: new job. But job security is not the issue in
Speaker 2: this right like you have the opportunity to negotiate, because
Speaker 2: if job security is the issue, then you don't have
Speaker 2: the opportunity to negotiate. You got to take whatever's available
Speaker 2: so that you can put food.
Speaker 6: On the table.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, it doesn't change what I'm saying
Speaker 1: that much because if the company has said this is
Speaker 1: the bracket, you know they've got that to pay, So
Speaker 1: you just need to show them why. That's the reason
Speaker 1: I still don't think. I don't think you're going cocky
Speaker 1: in like a wanga. But they're not saying we've got
Speaker 1: thirty five dollars and you're going in saying I want forty.
Speaker 1: They've given you the bracket. You're just trying to say
Speaker 1: why you think you deserve the upper end. If you
Speaker 1: are slightly worried, take a dollar off, take it two
Speaker 1: dollars off, so it doesn't look like you've gone at
Speaker 1: one hundred percent, but you've gone into ninety five percent,
Speaker 1: and then know that in a year's time you can
Speaker 1: go back for that extra couple of dollars or whatever
Speaker 1: you knocked off. But I wouldn't be selling yourself short
Speaker 1: and going in at the very very base level. They
Speaker 1: have put a bracket there, a price bracket for a reason.
Speaker 3: They have that to spend totally.
Speaker 1: They're just looking for the right person and they want
Speaker 1: to know why they want justification.
Speaker 2: All right, Well that is it from us, guys. Another
Speaker 2: ask gun cut done and dusted. If you have any
Speaker 2: questions for us for ask gun cuts, slide into the dms.
Speaker 3: Also if you.
Speaker 2: Have any ask gun cuts that you want us to
Speaker 2: answer at the live show, like if you're coming to
Speaker 2: a live show, if you want us on stage talking
Speaker 2: about you anonymously and so you can sit there in
Speaker 2: the audience being like ooh that question is mad question.
Speaker 3: We will do it live on stage.
Speaker 2: Send ask your questions, tell us what show you're coming to,
Speaker 2: tell us if you want it to be for the
Speaker 2: podcast and we may make it happen. But you can
Speaker 2: slide into our dms on Instagram for that. Also reminder
Speaker 2: go get your tickets from lifelun cuppodcast dot com dot
Speaker 2: au for all of the shows in Australia and also Auckland.
Speaker 1: And don't forget we are taking a one week break
Speaker 1: because we didn't get a break this year.
Speaker 5: Actually this is the first holiday we're taking. This is
Speaker 5: the first week we took off the podcast this year.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I just.
Speaker 4: Said that out loud.
Speaker 3: I need to be fair.
Speaker 2: We've not taken a holiday off actually bringing out content.
Speaker 2: We've beat away, we've done things, we've lived a life, yeah,
Speaker 2: but we haven't actually had a week.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and this is mandatory.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no podcast holiday.
Speaker 2: The podcast gods came to us and they said, you
Speaker 2: need to take a week off.
Speaker 3: So we're doing it.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be in Bali, BRIT's gonna be horizontal,
Speaker 2: getting a dicking hang in. Yeah, it's going to be
Speaker 2: great for everyone.
Speaker 5: Not necessarily horizontal handstand lots of different places.
Speaker 3: But I guess you who the fuck is doing a
Speaker 3: handstead do not me.
Speaker 1: My joints can't hold myself up anymore. I'm too old
Speaker 1: for that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: Handstand sex is the thing you try once in your
Speaker 2: twenties with a boy that you never marry. You're never
Speaker 2: marrying the guy that you tried handstand sex with. Just FYI, Well,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 5: Maybe I'll give it a whirl just because you said
Speaker 5: that people don't do it.
Speaker 2: Once you're in you're like mid thirties, those elbows are
Speaker 2: not what they used to be.
Speaker 5: No, he'd have to do all the work. I can't
Speaker 5: hold myself up anymore. Those days are gone.
Speaker 4: Anyway. We're having a week off, so we'll see you
Speaker 4: the week after.
Speaker 3: And yeah, we can't wait to see you guys.
Speaker 1: All with the live shows. We love your lots, We
Speaker 1: miss your lots, and don't forget to you, Mum, to you, Dad,
Speaker 1: Telly Dog. Tear friends and share the love because we
Speaker 1: love lo
Speaker 6: The ban were bam urabaya.