WEBVTT - WE LOVE LOVE 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.280 Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.080 Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:11.920 pay our respect to their elders past and present and 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.360 extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:16.120 peoples today. 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.599 This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Aurora Nation. 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:39.839 Hi guys, and. 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:43.160 Welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:45.400 and I'm Britt, and I just want to say to 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:50.680 anybody else who is fucking traumatized by watching Dama, I'm 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:51.159 there with you. 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:55.040 And by Dama, Laura means the Netflix show that is 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.560 trends at the moment. I'm Jeffrey Darmo. 0:00:57.640 --> 0:00:59.200 It's the worst thing I've ever watched in my entire 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:01.440 live I have so many feelings. Matt and I put 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:05.400 on two episodes on Saturday and I'll never recover. 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:07.640 And you feel bad for I don't even like to 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.160 say the word trending in that sentence because it feels 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:12.920 like it's the wrong word for what it's about. So 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:15.160 if you don't know quickly, it's about Jeffrey Dahmer, who 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:17.880 was a sick, sick man, he was a serial killer 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:21.479 many many moons ago, but it's re exploring what that 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:24.240 looked like for him, who he was, what he did, 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:27.319 the crime, and it was very, very awful. But again 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.560 I hate the word trending. It is trending. It's been 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:32.000 like one of the most watched netflixes since Squid Games. 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:34.920 We're squid Games, right, that was like the trending scary 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:37.960 horror thriller of twenty twenty one, twenty twenty two. 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:38.479 It's Darma. 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:40.880 Everyone's talking about it. So many people have watched it. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.000 It is one of the most downloaded I think it is. 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:46.640 It is the most downloaded thing on Netflix. Makes me think, 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:50.800 like how fucked are we? Like, actually, how messed up 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:52.320 are we as a society that that's. 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:53.040 What we want to watch. 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:55.800 Matt may he didn't make me, he didn't like forced 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:57.840 me down over my eyeballs, but like, we watched the 0:01:57.880 --> 0:02:00.920 first two episodes and I can't watch it, Like it's 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:04.200 just too much for me. It's too traumatizing, I think 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:07.200 because it's obviously so based within real life and based 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:10.960 amongst like what's actually happened that for me, I just 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:13.680 I cannot believe that somebody could do this and that 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.920 is so much more frightening than a fictional, made up 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:17.120 squid games based in. 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.720 A country that you know feels very far away from me. 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:22.200 But I think that's the conversation, right. This is why 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.840 we as a society love it so much, is because 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:30.000 we can't believe that there is someone that would do this, 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:32.200 and we don't understand how there could be someone that 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:33.639 could do this how they go about it. So I 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.360 think that's where the fascination comes from. It's almost like 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.760 it's in another world and another reality. And I think 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:40.680 I don't think people look at it with these goggles 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.880 on that this actually happened. I think they just sit 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:45.119 back and are like, this guy's fucking crazy. But it's 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:47.960 is it crossing this line? Is it crossing this line 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:51.720 where we're glorifying these people, these horrible serial killers, and 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:53.800 were almost putting them on a pedestal of look how 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:54.640 crazy they are. 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:56.840 I don't know if it's glorifying them, but I guess 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.160 the thing that sits uncomfortable with me is like, regardless 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:04.200 regardless of whether it shines him in the most negative life, obviously, 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:09.880 it's like it's truly humanly deplorable, like it's unbelievable. But 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:14.320 it's also been made into a Netflix, Hollywood blockbuster hit, right, 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:18.240 so we are being entertained. Ultimately, we're being entertained by 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:21.400 people's immense tragedy. And for me, I think, like, what 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:23.040 are the families getting out of this? What are the 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.520 victim's families getting out of this? Have they received any 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:26.000 of the money? 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.880 I don't know. This is a bigger thing for us 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:29.640 to unpack, and I think we have. 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:33.080 Actually we've gone super rogue on today's podcast episode and 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:34.680 we're going to tell you all about it. But I 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:38.440 would love to unpack this whole situation more, unpack like 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.640 the research behind the family statements that have been made 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:43.880 since this docu series has come out, because there is 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:44.920 a lot and I have a lot of feelings. 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:46.600 Let's hit that on Thursday's episode. 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:48.760 Yeah, and that is something we'll do. But I've I mean, 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:50.600 like I am one of those people. I've watched it, 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:52.760 which is strange to me because I couldn't watch the 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:54.440 Good Games, so it took me like eighteen months to 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:55.840 watch I only watch Italy. 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:56.240 Fine. 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:58.200 I was like, I don't understand why everyone's so I 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:00.000 was like, yeah, I'm traumatized, but it's like I quite 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:00.560 enjoyed it. 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:01.120 I was hooked. 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:03.600 Yeah, so that's so we're so different. But it is 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:05.280 something we need to unpack because I have I've got 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:07.800 one I think one more episode left to watch. I will, 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:10.080 and I want to be clear, I'm not enjoying it 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:11.760 like I'm I don't watch it because I'm loving it, 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:13.240 but there's a part of me that needs to see 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:15.640 it through now, which is a strange feeling. But we're 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:18.600 going to unpack that my much deeper level on Thursday. 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.599 All right, Well, the reason why we're going brogue on 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:23.240 today's episode is because we have some very exciting news. 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:25.520 I've been following along the podcast the last few weeks 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:27.279 or even like the last couple of months, you would 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:29.240 know that We Love Love, the book that Britta and 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:33.320 I wrote, it is being released tomorrow. It's finally hitting bookshelves. 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:37.440 Nervous, it's also a Fox saying saying, I feel so uncomfortable. 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:39.560 It's also for anyone who has placed a pre order 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.120 book purchase, it'll be being sent out to you tomorrow. 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.039 So there are thousands of copies of We Love Love 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:45.920 which are going to. 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:50.200 Be in the stratosphere. But what we thought we would 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:52.280 do is and look, I'm going to say it already, 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:54.280 there's there's a lot of tears in this episode. 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:55.760 And there's a lot of discoveries we wanted, you know, 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:57.680 for anyone who has bought the book or who was 0:04:57.760 --> 0:05:00.680 thinking about it. This episode a little bit of a 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:02.600 taste test. That's a weird way of putting it, but 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:04.560 it's a little bit of an insight into what we 0:05:04.600 --> 0:05:07.039 talk about and what is different about the book to 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:09.080 the podcast, because we do talk about a lot of 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:12.000 things that are very similar to the topics that we've covered, 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:14.839 but ultimately, we love Love. The book that we wrote 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:18.040 together is a book about self love. It's also a 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.480 book about self improvement, self discovery, but also about strengthening 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.000 your own relationships that you have. And there are some 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:27.040 things that we haven't yet spoken about openly on the 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:30.520 podcast for various reasons, and this episode gives us an 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.440 opportunity to talk about some of the stories that prior 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:34.839 to now we didn't feel comfortable sharing. 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:36.360 I think that is right. I think what you said 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:37.280 is right. It's a taste tester. 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.000 It's just noble. 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.719 Someone jumps a bit of a breadcrumb from their place. 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.679 So if you've been thinking about buying yourself a copy 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:47.919 of We Love Love, you can jump onto www dot Life, 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:50.599 uncutpodcast dot com dot au and there is all the 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:52.520 links to the book there, so you can get yourself 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:55.599 a pre order copy before it comes out tomorrow. Now, 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:58.680 considering we spend so much time talking, it's usually we're 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:01.320 talking to other people, I think that we've shared a 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:03.760 lot of our stories on this podcast. Actually we've shared 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:05.800 ninety nine point nine percent of them. We are known 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:09.280 to be overshares, yes, but surprisingly there are a lot 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:11.760 of things in this book that we haven't yet shared 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:13.560 on the podcast, and we'll kind of get into why 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.320 that's the case. But we thought to kick off this 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:18.840 part of the episode, we would kind of tell you 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.760 how the whole process of the book came about, when 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:23.640 it came about, and what that's looked. 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:26.600 Like, how it happened, why it happened, where it happened, 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:30.000 Why did it happen? Brittany, God who knows. Now it's 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:32.440 a I guess a bit over a year, eighteen months 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:35.600 I think from when we signed the deal. I think 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:36.640 it's been about twenty months. 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:38.560 So at the time just to kind of give you 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:40.760 guys a bit of the timeline about how the process 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:42.800 will happen, so Penguin, that is through the book is 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:45.960 published through Penguin Publishers. We have an incredible publisher. Her 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.800 name is Izzy, and I remember we were trying to 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:50.320 organize a time to have a meeting. 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:52.120 This meeting that happened. 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:54.920 We went down to the local cafe and Bondai and 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:57.760 it was six weeks after Lola was born. 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:00.520 And a tiny little potato she was. This was a 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:02.880 tiny little melon. She was like one of those twenty 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:04.479 five percent less carbs potatoes. 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.880 She was you know, the lit bud life. So you 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.880 might be a sponsor, Okay, So she was a strap 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:11.400 to the front of me. We sat there and had 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:14.640 breakfast and we talked through why we wanted to do 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:16.040 the book and how it would be. This a to 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.160 z of relationships but also self love and I think 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.320 ultimately one of the biggest things that we've spoken about 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:24.000 on this podcast the running theme, as much as this 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:28.120 has been largely relationships focus, I think the biggest relationship 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:29.960 that we have covered over the past couple of years 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:32.280 is very much the relationship that we have with ourselves 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:33.440 and that's very much. 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:34.920 What the ethos of the book comes back to. 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:37.360 But just going back to this meeting, So here we 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:40.920 are in the cafe in BONDI six week old Loless 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.400 strapped to me, and I think at the time I 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:47.640 personally got caught up in the excitement of the possibility 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:51.400 of writing a book without really understanding how fucking hard 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:53.560 it was going to be having two kids under the 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:55.960 age of sixteen months. Because at the time Mary was 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:58.760 only sixteen months old and I had a newborn, and 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:02.000 I was like, yeah, I can do this book thing. 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:05.720 Sure turns out I couldn't. We just needed some extensions. 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:08.560 So that was both of us well. Originally our deadline 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.520 was six months, which looking back now is hilarious, ridiculous. 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:13.960 Originally there was this grand idea that the book could 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:16.040 be written in six months, and that kind of came 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:17.960 from Penguin. I think that was like they were like, look, 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:19.840 this is kind of how long it normally takes to 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:21.280 write a book for us. 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:21.679 It didn't. 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:23.600 For us. It took eighteen months. And the reason for 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:25.400 that is not just because there were two kids in 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.840 the mix. There was also the second lockdowns of the 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:31.280 pandemic brit You spent time overseas, Britt, you went through 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.720 your own huge heartbreak. There were some really big life 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.360 things that happened throughout the process of writing this book. 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:38.160 I mean, I feel like it's been a long time coming, 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.960 because we're in discussions for this book, or for a 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:44.200 book a long time before we press Go with Penguin. 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:47.760 So I feel like from when we first started discussing it, 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:50.079 which was a year before we signed, I feel like 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:51.760 this has been like a three year journey. I feel 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:53.760 like it's been the longest We've spent as long making 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:55.400 this book as I've made making children. 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:59.880 Yeah, and this was harder. Yeah, well in some ways absolutely. 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:00.320 Yeah. 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:01.480 I guess one of the things I want to know 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:03.360 from you, Brett, like what was the why for you? 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:05.640 Like? Why did you want to write a book? We 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:08.240 have had like between three hundred and three hundred and 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:11.920 twenty episodes, A lot of content over the last three 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:13.959 and a half years. A lot of content we're very 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:16.920 proud of, a lot of amazing people, amazing topics, a 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.600 lot of education, a lot of laughs, so much. But 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:22.720 it's gotten to the point where it's so broad and 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:24.880 it's so big, and there's so many episodes and topics 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:28.160 floating around that. I thought, imagine if we could just 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:33.800 culminate it all into one little bible handbook, one little 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:35.680 go to place where there's a bit of everything, a 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:39.120 bit of our favorite and most important or hard hitting 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:42.439 topics in one place. And the reason we decided to 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:44.560 do it, as the ad to Z, is we didn't 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:47.200 want well, I mean, like for me looking at it, 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:48.520 I wanted someone to be able to go and pick 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:53.240 up this book anytime of the day, not at work, 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:55.920 on your break whenever, if you're going through something specific 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:59.040 like a breakup, and just go to the letter or 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:02.440 to the topic that you're interested in in that moment 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:04.040 of your life. You don't have to read it from 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:05.840 front to back. You don't have to sit down with 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.400 a few weeks and just like go hard, remember where 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:09.880 you are. You just pick it up for whatever you're 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:11.560 going through at that point in your life. So I 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:13.960 think that that for us was absolutely perfect. 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:16.600 I think for me, one of the things is that 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:20.720 there are some stories that I have never felt comfortable 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.600 sharing on the podcast, and there's multiple reasons for that. 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:26.560 Some of it is because I struggle to get through 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:29.559 them without getting emotional, and the other part of it 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:32.640 is because there's this real fear around being misquoted. And 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.640 I think a lot of us know that something that's 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:37.400 said verbally, when written down, it can look very different 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.000 or sound very different. We all know this from text messaging, 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.400 that you can misinterpret someone's tone via a text message. 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:45.800 And I guess for me, I've had this fear around 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:49.720 some of the stories and how they would be misinterpreted 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.360 by the media and how they could be used as 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:54.000 a weapon. So we have shared so much of our 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:56.520 lives over the past couple of years, but there are 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.280 a few stories in the book from myself and from 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:02.960 my own personal journey that I hadn't been ready to 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:03.480 share yet. 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.920 And I think that that's something that I've probably feel. 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:06.240 Most proud of. 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:08.440 Sometimes we go through things in life and it could 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:10.760 have been twenty years ago, thirty years ago, I mean. 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:12.760 And that's something that you talk about, Laura a lot 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.920 in this book, something you haven't spoken about before, and 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.240 that's your childhood. Nothing against your age, but we know 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.520 your childhood was a long time like do the math, 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:22.200 your childhood was a long time ago, but you haven't 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.240 been ready to talk about that until this point. And 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:26.800 we're going to get into that, and we're going to 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:28.960 get into the why. We're going to get into what 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:32.080 that was like, how that has set off a chain 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:35.720 reaction for where you are in your life and to adulthood. 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:37.800 How it's shaped me as a person exactly. So we'll 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:38.320 get into that. 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:41.480 And that's I mean, like, I loved reading that. I 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:43.400 know your story from what you tell me, but it's 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:45.360 different when you read it from a different perspective. So 0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:48.000 I loved reading that chapter about you, and it was 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.920 very emotional, and I'm an emotional person. I've like a 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.040 crime right now. I don't know, I'm always like deering up. 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:54.840 But we will get into that. 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:58.160 But before, I guess, let's go through the process. How 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:01.559 was this for you, because you who had a. 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:04.480 Very busy life, Well, I think for me, the process 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:07.199 was hard. I enjoyed writing parts of it. I enjoyed 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:10.320 writing different chapters. Some chapters were ultimately harder to write 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.319 than others. And you know, we'll get into what those 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:14.960 chapters look like. Some of them are light and fluffy 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:17.679 and silly, and they like reading them back. I had 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:19.400 a good laugh, and then others. When we had to 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:21.880 record the audiobook for it, reading the back, I was 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:25.400 in full blubbering tears, but the actual process itself. So, 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:28.280 like I mentioned, Lola was only six weeks old when 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:31.680 we signed the book deal, and I truly underestimated how 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.280 challenging having two kids was going to be. I think 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:39.080 because I genuinely found the transition to one child rather easy. 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:41.400 And I hate saying that because I know that everybody 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:43.120 is different, and I know that a lot of people 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:46.160 find having one child really challenging. But what I came 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:48.760 to realize in the last two years is that Maley 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.360 was a really easy baby. I got so lucky with 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:55.280 Maley in her temperament, in her sleeping, like she really 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:57.960 was just such a cruisy kid, and I feel like 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.079 I can do this kid thing one hundred percent. That 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:02.680 makes me realize how fucking arrogant I was without even 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.720 realizing it, Like I guess I was kind of like, oh, yeah, 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:05.959 we've nailed this parenting thing. 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.239 We can have too. And we had. 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.600 Two babies within the space of sixteen months of each other, 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:13.120 and a miscarriage in that time too. So I was 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:15.560 pregnant with a second baby when Marley was only five 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.280 months old, and then I got pregnant with Lola like 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:19.319 the following month. 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:21.720 So we have had a. 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:24.160 Lot of like in the last two years, pregnancy has 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:26.320 just been like it's just there's been so much of it, 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:27.960 you know, and it's been such a big part of 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.880 my life. But then so has this whole motherhood journey. 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.680 And I think going from one kid to two kids, 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:36.680 it really rocked me. And part of that was because 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:38.560 Lola was such a challenging baby. 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:40.360 She had two defaults. 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:41.079 She had a. 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.240 Sleep or screaming, and that was it, and that was 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.040 the first sort of three or four months of her life. 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:46.960 And this was also during a time of COVID. So 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:50.280 I really think that when I started writing this book, 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.360 I was in a bit of an emotional low because 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:55.040 I didn't have the support systems around me to help 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.800 with raising children. Matt and I were very much on 0:13:57.800 --> 0:13:59.960 our own during that period, especially during the four months 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:03.520 of lockdown at the second Lockdown of Sydney, and I 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:07.160 had this baby who was not easily consoled, like couldn't 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:09.720 figure out what she wanted. And so I guess for me, 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.200 I had these grand ideas that we would I would 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.000 get the book written while she slept, and I would 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:15.760 have this like maternity break and write the book, and 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:17.520 it would be so easy, and you know, I was 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:19.840 going to nail this motherhood thing. And that's one of 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:21.560 the things I talk about in the book is that, 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.520 you know, for me, the motherhood journey felt like a 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:26.800 real failure. In that first year of Lola's life. I 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:29.200 did not feel like I was kicking goals. Even though 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:31.800 I'm sure people will look on Instagram and think, like, oh, 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.640 how does Laura juggle all these things? I was truly 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:36.760 feeling like I was failing at a lot of stuff, 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.080 which is a crazy feeling. 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.040 Not crazy, because I think a lot of people feel that, 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:44.400 but I think that's very internalized because you were doing 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:46.200 so much. You were kicking a lot of goals, and 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:49.000 I think a lot of this pressure comes from you yourself. 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:51.480 Yeah, and I guess I was still kicking goals, but 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.960 I was really really burnt out. So originally our publication 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.720 date was mid of last year, and then it kind 0:14:57.720 --> 0:14:59.560 of got pushed out to the end of last year, 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:01.640 and then we kind of had to throw all like 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:03.120 we had to throw it all out of the wagon 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.360 and start again. And then we pushed out to October 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.960 this year, and a lot of that rescheduling came down 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:10.200 to me and me not being able to manage all 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:11.680 of the things that I'd put on my plate. And 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:13.840 I guess that was a huge learning curve for me 0:15:13.920 --> 0:15:17.720 that it's okay to sometimes have to reassess, reset, and 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.800 put yourself first, because otherwise you might make it to 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.200 the finish line, but you will be so burnt out 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:24.600 by the time you get there that it's just not 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:25.120 worth it. 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.560 And it's about being realistic with yourself too. Like you 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:29.320 can have big dreams and you can say, you know, 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.000 I want to kick these goals, I want to work hard, 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:32.960 I want to tick the boxes, but sometimes you have 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:34.960 to be realistic that it's physically not going to get done. 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:36.360 There is no way that you can do it. And 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.400 that's what we went through over that time. And I 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:41.120 had points where I cannot even tell you why, but 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:44.480 I had such low points that I would open my 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:47.440 computer and I had the page open to start writing. 0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:48.040 It'd be like a. 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.160 Movie, you know how when you've got your cursor and 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.040 it's like dotting along waiting for you to type your 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:53.840 first word. And I was in a pretty good place 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:56.720 when we started then. I mean, we spoken about this 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:59.560 I started the book in love like so happy, and 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.480 I finish the book going through like the worst breakup 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:04.640 of my life and like the lowest point of my 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.080 entire life. I still can't talk bad without crying, which 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:09.320 I'm going to do right now. That it was really like, 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:16.720 it was really hard to write because you have to 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:19.440 go back. By the time I got to the point 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:22.160 where we had broken up, I had to go back 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.160 and change things, and a lot of it when I 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:27.000 was rereading it was like talking about how happy I was. 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:30.600 I'm like talking about my penguin and like, so it 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.400 was really hard to go back and like relive that 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:39.000 and rewrite it. So that was, yeah, big process for me. Sorry, 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:40.560 I can't talk right now. Did you. 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:46.280 Mean guys like we, I mean, we are so grateful 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.360 for all of you who have kind of followed along 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:50.440 the journey of the past three years, and this is 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.320 so much like this book is so much a culmination 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.120 of that. It's the process. It's lessons that we've learned. 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.680 And I guess for you, Brit, BRIT's like sitting here 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:04.720