Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Today is Friday, which
Speaker 2: means it is time to get together with the team
Speaker 2: and celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money community,
Speaker 2: And today we're going to be sharing a few of
Speaker 2: our favorite money wins or jesses, and then we're going
Speaker 2: to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which
Speaker 2: this week is all about how to achieve your financial
Speaker 2: goals with multiple income streams. And we're going to be
Speaker 2: unpacking something that you slid into our DMS, about which
Speaker 2: this week was what to do about a partner who
Speaker 2: spends his money on only fans but won't buy your
Speaker 2: baby clothes. So before we get their team, welcome to
Speaker 2: the Friday Show. Woo, thank you so much for having
Speaker 2: us party time. I feel like this has been a
Speaker 2: good week. We've had good pod content this week, good
Speaker 2: pod content, good pod content today. Good pod content, yes,
Speaker 2: good pod content. But have you had a good pod
Speaker 2: content week?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I think so, And I feel like everything's brighter on
Speaker 5: a Friday.
Speaker 2: Can you tell that we've been talking about scarcity mindset?
Speaker 2: We just recorded that episode and now she's like I
Speaker 2: were rose colored glasses. Victoria taught me how to be
Speaker 2: more abundant. I'm on basically, I'm onto you. What's the
Speaker 2: best part of your day today?
Speaker 5: I got a coffee from seven to eleven money win,
Speaker 5: money win, instead of going to the cafe downstairs.
Speaker 2: Money loss, money loss. It's a small business money so
Speaker 2: we've got to mix it up. Well, that's exactly right.
Speaker 5: But I got my walk in going all the way
Speaker 5: to seven as amazing, So that was a highlight of
Speaker 5: my day so far.
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. Jess what's the highlight of your day.
Speaker 6: Oh, the highlight of my day is that this weekend
Speaker 6: I have a lot of fun things planned. We're going
Speaker 6: to see our family. My sister in law's very pregnant, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is babies everywhere.
Speaker 6: We're all about the babies right now. And then one
Speaker 6: of my other friends has a baby, and I've just
Speaker 6: moved and we're really close to our friends where we
Speaker 6: used to be really far away from our friends. So
Speaker 6: I am excited to not have to drive ten billion
Speaker 6: miles to see them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, that is epic. I'm just excited to go
Speaker 2: for a walk in the morning and get a coffee.
Speaker 2: If we're being brutally honest, like, this week has been
Speaker 2: so busy that I have done literally nothing that I
Speaker 2: wanted to do and everything that I didn't want to do.
Speaker 2: But let's move on to everything I do want to
Speaker 2: know about, and that is our community. Money wins, Jess,
Speaker 2: what have you pulled out for us this week?
Speaker 6: I've got some fine ones this week, starting off with Samantha,
Speaker 6: who said money win. I've decided to move back in
Speaker 6: with my parents to save some money, and suddenly I
Speaker 6: have an extra four hundred dollars in my account for
Speaker 6: not paying rent for the next two weeks.
Speaker 2: He kiss very good money.
Speaker 6: We own that, queen. I saw someone else say something
Speaker 6: similar last week. They were saying they're embarrassed by Hi. Well,
Speaker 6: I think there's that stigma of like being of a
Speaker 6: certain age when your parents I're like, get that bag.
Speaker 6: That's a lot of money.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Not only is it a lot of money, I
Speaker 2: also genuinely think it's a flex to have such a
Speaker 2: solid relationship with your parents that you're happy to move
Speaker 2: back in and they're happy with the circumstance like lap
Speaker 2: that up. That is privilege if ever. I've seen it,
Speaker 2: and I love it one thousand percent.
Speaker 6: My next win this week comes from Page, who said
Speaker 6: big money win. I was paying seventy dollars a week
Speaker 6: for forty five I recently.
Speaker 2: Gn't actually seventy dollars a week out.
Speaker 6: Isn't that insane?
Speaker 2: That's so expensive? That is ludicant that Sorry, at forty five,
Speaker 2: you're probably not going to sponsor us, but that is insane.
Speaker 2: They don't even have a room full of equipment, do they. Well,
Speaker 2: I walk past in her forty five place all the time.
Speaker 2: They're just like jumping up and down on the spot.
Speaker 6: I could do that in my lundry for free.
Speaker 2: Literally, let's do it anyway, Page seventy dollars.
Speaker 6: She canceled her membership and signed up to her local
Speaker 6: gym for twelve dollars a week. To keep her fitness
Speaker 6: on track, she downloaded the Sweat app for a training program,
Speaker 6: which costs five dollars a week. This means that she's
Speaker 6: now going to save two hundred and twelve dollars a month.
Speaker 6: She's going to support a small business. She's gonna be
Speaker 6: able to work out more flexibly, and she's already gained
Speaker 6: some muscle on the new program.
Speaker 2: Yes, Queen, I just said my kick Pilarate's workouts on
Speaker 2: the floor in my laundry with my cats climbing over me,
Speaker 2: and I just think that's it.
Speaker 6: Pick Kick is the best. That platform is so so good.
Speaker 2: That's because you use my log in Steph, Laura, you're listening, No,
Speaker 2: you did not.
Speaker 6: That is a money win.
Speaker 2: That is a money winner.
Speaker 6: My next win comes from Jennifer, who said she recently
Speaker 6: bought a house that renovating and the backyard was all
Speaker 6: fake turf. She thought they were going to have to
Speaker 6: pay to get rid of it, but instead she put
Speaker 6: it on Facebook marketplace for free and had over fifty
Speaker 6: messages for people wanting to come and pick it up.
Speaker 6: And I have a story. Recently moved, as I told you,
Speaker 6: and we had like a whole garage full of stuff,
Speaker 6: right and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, no, I've just moved as well. The worst
Speaker 2: you would know.
Speaker 6: A lot of it was really good stuff that I
Speaker 6: just as we were cleaning, I was don't want to
Speaker 6: move it. Op shops aren't taking stuff right now, aren't they? No.
Speaker 6: I think there's been a lot of donations, which is
Speaker 6: a great thing.
Speaker 2: But though because I feel like sometimes people take the
Speaker 2: mickey and they just donate stuff that they really should
Speaker 2: have thrown out. Oh absolutely rude, which doesn't do it.
Speaker 6: It takes up more time, it's not helpful all But anyways,
Speaker 6: aren't taking out? Do you want to throw it out?
Speaker 6: Because what do you do with good stuff? So I
Speaker 6: posted in like the page for my estate and hey, everybody,
Speaker 6: I've got a driveway full of stuff. It's out the front.
Speaker 6: I did preemptively say no holds first, distressed, don't message me,
Speaker 6: I'm not picking up. And it was gone in an hour.
Speaker 6: And a half.
Speaker 2: Was that wow, like in your front room and just like.
Speaker 6: What like crashed the cat And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 6: I would And I.
Speaker 2: Wouldn't have even said hi. I would have just been
Speaker 2: snooping on people, being like, oh, so they're checking out
Speaker 2: the full pile. What do you reckon? They came for?
Speaker 2: Was it the keyboard?
Speaker 6: Keyboard? We actually did have a keyboard.
Speaker 2: I want to see the picture. No, this is all
Speaker 2: for free.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Well, because that was the thing is I was going
Speaker 6: to give it away, and rather than yah, I didn't
Speaker 6: have the time to sell it. I was just like,
Speaker 6: do a good thing. Maybe someone gets that's good.
Speaker 2: I moved and I put a chest of drawers on
Speaker 2: my nature strip thinking that someone would take them. And
Speaker 2: they have it. And now my real estate agent is
Speaker 2: following me up to boot Hard Rubbish because otherwise it's
Speaker 2: going to come out of my bond. So money lost
Speaker 2: for me, money for you and our.
Speaker 6: Community, and money in the page as well. The next
Speaker 6: win I have here came from Annie, who said she
Speaker 6: ordered some make up back in October and it got
Speaker 6: lost in transit. She got a replacement order that arrived
Speaker 6: in December. However, somehow the original order has now gotten
Speaker 6: unlost underrived, and they don't want it back. So now
Speaker 6: she's got double the makeup, including some of her staple
Speaker 6: products that she would have had to repurchase on every
Speaker 6: money win.
Speaker 2: That's actually a very good money win. And it's like
Speaker 2: super ethical as well, because obviously there was a period
Speaker 2: of time between it. You didn't just like lie about
Speaker 2: your package being no, which we don't condone, but like,
Speaker 2: how good that's good karma coming around, I reckon.
Speaker 6: I would like to think so as well. And then
Speaker 6: the last win that I have for this week comes
Speaker 6: from Rihanna and who said money win. I needed a
Speaker 6: new pair of shoes for work, as mine now have
Speaker 6: a hole where the toe pops out. Not exactly questionable.
Speaker 2: That's hot, And one of the girls from work some
Speaker 2: people would pay.
Speaker 6: For that only for content.
Speaker 2: Think I would you would pay for that content? She would,
Speaker 2: It'd be great to see scumbag.
Speaker 6: One of the girls from work said that she had
Speaker 6: a pair that she had worn once and didn't like
Speaker 6: the feel of them, so she said that I could
Speaker 6: have them for freeze. They don't go to waste, save
Speaker 6: myself one hundred and fifty bucks.
Speaker 2: And I guarantee they're more comfortable than one with not
Speaker 2: on a hot day. True, that's like free air con exactly.
Speaker 2: Do you know what?
Speaker 6: You know?
Speaker 2: What's got good air conn in in a piece of
Speaker 2: footwear crocs?
Speaker 6: True? No, great, great footwear. I'm team anti croc.
Speaker 2: I am team that's very strong name and activity. I
Speaker 2: can't complete wearing my crocs.
Speaker 6: Go to fashion Week?
Speaker 2: Can Balenciaga brought out their own crocks?
Speaker 6: And what happened to Balenciaga?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: See myself out. All right, let's go to a break
Speaker 2: before I get canceled in the way the Balenciaga did,
Speaker 2: and we'll see you on the other side to talk
Speaker 2: about a money dilemma and also about what you would
Speaker 2: do if your partner's paying for only fans but refusing
Speaker 2: to buy baby clothes. Don't go anywhere.
Speaker 6: Or right, everybody, we are back and it's time for
Speaker 6: what it is. I feel like one of my favorite
Speaker 6: parts of the week at.
Speaker 2: This point, mine too.
Speaker 6: Money dilemma. Let's have a listen, Hi, there, have you.
Speaker 2: Got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The Sheese
Speaker 2: on the Money Team is here to help. Every week
Speaker 2: we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small to answer
Speaker 2: your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved,
Speaker 2: simply head to our website and leave us a short
Speaker 2: voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now,
Speaker 2: let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 7: Hello, I have a money dilemma that I hope you
Speaker 7: can pretty please help me out with. I work permanent
Speaker 7: part time, so I work four days a week, and
Speaker 7: I have a salary for that. I also work freelance
Speaker 7: and have different amounts of money coming in from that
Speaker 7: each month. I really want to use my freelance money
Speaker 7: to grow my wealth to also maybe subsidize my salary
Speaker 7: at times, because it's not always a lot with the
Speaker 7: growing cost of life. So how can I kind of
Speaker 7: manage this freelance while living off my salary and grow
Speaker 7: my wealth and travel and do fun things that I
Speaker 7: can't afford to do just on my salary? Thank you.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a really common one for
Speaker 2: people who are either in that situation where they have
Speaker 2: an income and then they have a freelance income, or
Speaker 2: they have an inconsistent income in general, like they might
Speaker 2: be a UNI student only work casually, so you know,
Speaker 2: over Christmas, they might become fully loaded because they just
Speaker 2: work fifty hour weeks and then during the week they
Speaker 2: only have the capacity to do like five or six hours.
Speaker 2: So I think this is actually there's no secret to it,
Speaker 2: and I'm sorry I don't have like some secret like, oh,
Speaker 2: here's how to manage your wealth and still go on
Speaker 2: holidays and do all of these things. It actually sounds
Speaker 2: like the first thing you need to do is go
Speaker 2: back to basics and work out what your goals and
Speaker 2: values are and go, well, what actually am I looking
Speaker 2: to achieve here? Because if travel is your value, well
Speaker 2: what does that mean? Are we traveling down to the
Speaker 2: beach every weekend and it's a really cheap day trip,
Speaker 2: or are we traveling to Italy? And if we're doing that,
Speaker 2: is it an annual international trip? Is it every two years,
Speaker 2: every five years? Like what does that actually look like
Speaker 2: to you? Because to say, oh, I really want to
Speaker 2: travel and I want to create wealth and I want
Speaker 2: to I can't tell you the answer. You actually need
Speaker 2: to go back to basics and go, well, actually, what
Speaker 2: are my values and what does that look like? And
Speaker 2: then you need to look at your budget and cash
Speaker 2: flow and go okay, cool, What does my actual budget
Speaker 2: look like like? What am my outgoings versus my ingoings?
Speaker 2: And as you said, it's hard to measure what that
Speaker 2: freelance work looks like, but easy to understand what your
Speaker 2: salary is because that's going to be the same thing
Speaker 2: each and every single month. So if I were you,
Speaker 2: I would get a good budget and cash flow system. Hint,
Speaker 2: we have a brilliant one. I know, Jess swears by
Speaker 2: it so good, and I'm biased because I created it
Speaker 2: and Beck has just been gifted it, but she hasn't
Speaker 2: done anything with it yet. But that's okay, we'll get
Speaker 2: there baby steps. I mean, just having a log in
Speaker 2: as a is a start, But what I would be
Speaker 2: doing is really looking at, well, how much money do
Speaker 2: I have coming in and how much needs to go out?
Speaker 2: What are my basic spenses, and then with your freelance
Speaker 2: income topping that up. So if say one month, you
Speaker 2: have an extra five hundred dollars, wow, we could allocate
Speaker 2: that towards achieving a goal sooner than we had set
Speaker 2: out to with our base income. And I think that
Speaker 2: the way of working needs to be quite structured, because
Speaker 2: otherwise we feel a little bit wishy washy, and we're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm not really sure what I'm doing when it comes
Speaker 2: to wealth creation or this holiday goal I have, or
Speaker 2: you know, you might be saving for a new car.
Speaker 2: I think we actually need to create some structure. So
Speaker 2: create the structure with your base income where you have
Speaker 2: that stability, and then when you have additional funds coming in,
Speaker 2: maybe that goes into your holiday fund so you can
Speaker 2: go on a holiday sooner or achieve that goal quicker.
Speaker 2: Or maybe you have an extra two hundred dollars one
Speaker 2: month that you didn't have the month before, and wow,
Speaker 2: you could buy some more shares and work towards that goal.
Speaker 2: But from my perspective, having clarity on those goals is
Speaker 2: really important to begin with, because otherwise it feels really
Speaker 2: wishy washy. And often when you have an unstable income,
Speaker 2: it can be like, oh, well, I don't know how
Speaker 2: much money I'll have next month versus this month, and
Speaker 2: what's the point. Well, why don't we just strip it
Speaker 2: back to basics and taking that a step further. If
Speaker 2: you're someone listening to this and you're like, but v
Speaker 2: I don't have a base income, it's always freelance. Sometimes
Speaker 2: it's one thousand dollars a month. Sometimes it's ten thousand
Speaker 2: dollars a month. What I would do is look back
Speaker 2: on the last twelve months of income and go, Okay,
Speaker 2: what on average am I actually bringing in? What on
Speaker 2: average are my monthly expenses, and then creating a kitty
Speaker 2: and creating basically a cash hub where all of that
Speaker 2: money comes in, but you always have the consistency of
Speaker 2: what goes out. So you might have worked out that
Speaker 2: your food, your fuel, and your fun is two hundred
Speaker 2: and fifty dollars a week, So regardless of whether ten
Speaker 2: thousand dollars or one thousand dollars came in that month,
Speaker 2: you transfer that two hundred and fifty dollars a week
Speaker 2: and live on a structure. And then maybe every three
Speaker 2: or six months you go into that cash hub and go, wow,
Speaker 2: I do have more than I expected to have, or wow,
Speaker 2: there's not enough there, or whatever that might look like.
Speaker 2: And if you do have a surplus, you can reallocate
Speaker 2: that to your goals to achieve them quicker. But the
Speaker 2: most important thing, and I know I've harped on about
Speaker 2: this literally because I'm obsessed with budget and cash flow,
Speaker 2: is actually creating some level of stability, because that's what
Speaker 2: we crave when it comes to budget and when it
Speaker 2: comes to dealing with money, and often we feel most
Speaker 2: out of control when we don't feel like we're in control. Right, Yes,
Speaker 2: you freelance on the side and a bit of a
Speaker 2: side husseler. How do you deal with that when it
Speaker 2: comes into your account? I kind of just treat it
Speaker 2: as extra free money.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well not free money, it's not what's the word fungible?
Speaker 6: So aren't fungible is the most disgusting word. But yes,
Speaker 6: it's correct in this circumstance. You're looking at me confused.
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 2: I'd never heard fungible.
Speaker 6: It makes me a mushrooms, that's what I thought. It
Speaker 6: sounds like fungus. Yes, I heard it on the podcast.
Speaker 6: I believe. Correct me if I'm wrong, Victoria. Fungible means
Speaker 6: you view it as replaceable. Yes, there, we so.
Speaker 2: To give you the official definition, and it says fungible
Speaker 2: of a product or commodity replaceable by another identical item,
Speaker 2: mutually interchangeable. And then the quote is it is by
Speaker 2: no means the world's only fungible commodity, not a way
Speaker 2: I get to throw around it Honestly, I just can't
Speaker 2: write that word. It gives me the ick.
Speaker 5: I love how Google definitions always use the most unrelatable
Speaker 5: sentence to so uptight to give you an example, and I.
Speaker 2: Still maybe we should just go to Jess because she
Speaker 2: used it in a real life sentence, which honestly it
Speaker 2: should be banned. It gives me, well, I learned it
Speaker 2: in podcast.
Speaker 6: But like I essentially I view it as like, I
Speaker 6: don't count on it being there, So when the money
Speaker 6: is there, I'll allocate it to something, but if it's
Speaker 6: not there, I'm not preemptively allocating it.
Speaker 2: If that makes sense, That's fair because I think you
Speaker 2: can get ahead of yourself and then you know, maybe
Speaker 2: if it doesn't come in, you're stressed because you're not
Speaker 2: meeting the goal that you set or the bills that
Speaker 2: you've allocated for. And I think really working off the
Speaker 2: base amount of income that will come through is the
Speaker 2: best way to do.
Speaker 6: That a thousand percent. Like, I just never count on
Speaker 6: it being there, and I also try not to fall
Speaker 6: into the trap of when a lot of money does
Speaker 6: come in, going oh my god, I'm rich, Like I
Speaker 6: can buy this really extensive bag that I wanted or
Speaker 6: I can put it, you know, I can go on
Speaker 6: a holiday straight away, like I try and pace myself
Speaker 6: a little bit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's the most important thing that
Speaker 2: you can do. And most freelancers actually go ham in
Speaker 2: their first year or two because they go, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: this month, I'm rich, and I'm going to pay for
Speaker 2: dinner for everybody, and I'm gonna, you know, buy my
Speaker 2: family this a new couch, knew this and knew that.
Speaker 2: And then the month after that they're back to feeling
Speaker 2: a little bit frugal because they don't have a big
Speaker 2: invoice coming in. And I do think that we should
Speaker 2: see when we have additional cash coming in as an
Speaker 2: opportunity to set ourselves up for a little bit more
Speaker 2: financial security. So if there's an extra thousand dollars in
Speaker 2: your account this month, how can we use that to
Speaker 2: put you in the best possible position. Can it go
Speaker 2: into establishing an emergency fund. Can it top up an
Speaker 2: emergency fund, and it go into you know, sitting just
Speaker 2: in your cash hubs, so you have a bit more
Speaker 2: of a float to work with when it comes to bills.
Speaker 2: Because we have regro coming up in a couple of months,
Speaker 2: and we don't. Yeah, but we don't want to be
Speaker 2: surprised by those costs because, as you said, remind me,
Speaker 2: it's literally the worst when you have a thousand dollar
Speaker 2: expense come up and you don't have the money put aside.
Speaker 2: And I promise if we put it aside, future you's
Speaker 2: got to thank you when that regro comes up, and
Speaker 2: you'll be like, heck, yeah, I don't even have to
Speaker 2: go into my savings for this one.
Speaker 6: Don't have to change the response exactly like we're excited. V.
Speaker 2: I did want to ask if say, for example, I
Speaker 2: had an extra five dollars this month, would you recommend
Speaker 2: I invest it or save it? Well, it depends what
Speaker 2: circumstance you're in, Like if you have a fully funded
Speaker 2: emergency fund that you're really comfortable with and no outstanding
Speaker 2: bills and no debts, then yeah, you could definitely invest it.
Speaker 2: But I think that having an emergency fund and having
Speaker 2: bills up to date is actually really sexy. And as
Speaker 2: much as I think so many people are jumping or
Speaker 2: chomping at the bit, if that's the right word or
Speaker 2: phrase to use here to invest, I also think that
Speaker 2: we should be investing when we're financially secure enough to
Speaker 2: invest in that we don't have to pull it out
Speaker 2: at a later date. So if you've got an extra
Speaker 2: five bucks, it's going to really depend on your circumstances,
Speaker 2: because an extra five dollars to one person might not
Speaker 2: mean much, but an extra five dollars to somebody else
Speaker 2: could mean the difference of being absolutely stressed and not.
Speaker 2: Because sometimes we have, as you said a couple of
Speaker 2: weeks ago on the show, I have negative seventeen dollars
Speaker 2: in my bank account, Like five bucks is a savior
Speaker 2: when you need to buy some new Eggs. So I
Speaker 2: think it's really important to take the situation into account
Speaker 2: and not just go, oh, should I be investing this
Speaker 2: five bucks? No, not necessarily. I mean, if it's aligned
Speaker 2: to your values and the goals that you've set one
Speaker 2: thousand percent, what a cool thing to do. But if
Speaker 2: you don't have an emergency funder guarantee you you probably
Speaker 2: want that five bucks next month.
Speaker 5: So because I do this is going to maybe kill you.
Speaker 5: But I have zero dollars in savings, so I'm going
Speaker 5: to start on my savings and then invest.
Speaker 2: Okay, I e exactly, and I feel like getting ahead
Speaker 2: in that sense means that when you do invest, there's
Speaker 2: going to be less stress and less anxiety because you
Speaker 2: do have that emergency fund to fall back on. Like
Speaker 2: what if something happens and you do need an extra
Speaker 2: ten or fifteen bucks, Well, you've got it in your
Speaker 2: emergency fund. We don't need to worry about the money
Speaker 2: that we invested because the plan with investing is actually
Speaker 2: to be in it for the long term, not put
Speaker 2: it in there for a little bit and then pull
Speaker 2: it out if we need it. It's put it in
Speaker 2: there for thirty years and hopefully don't touch it, which
Speaker 2: is an absolute privilege in itself, because that means that
Speaker 2: you're financially secure on the flip side, and I think
Speaker 2: that for me is the most important thing to structure
Speaker 2: yourself for. And that's just genuine financial security to begin with.
Speaker 2: That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 6: And if you do want to do the master class,
Speaker 6: I feel like there's probably a lot of people listening
Speaker 6: to this right now going, oh, what is.
Speaker 2: That she's some money? Never talks about it, We really don't,
Speaker 2: So like this is the year of pumping the budget
Speaker 2: and cashlow master class because we always forget to talk about.
Speaker 6: It, and it is so great. I use it literally
Speaker 6: every single week. It's amazing. Hedge the website if you
Speaker 6: want to check it out. And because we love you
Speaker 6: and it is the season of love, it's almost Valentine's Day,
Speaker 6: you know, I love a theme. We're going to give
Speaker 6: you a cheeky discount code. So if you want to
Speaker 6: use the code, I love discounts, because we love you.
Speaker 2: You're even making your own discount code up. I thought
Speaker 2: you were going to do the standard one that we
Speaker 2: turn on and off sometimes.
Speaker 6: No, I love discounts. It's going to work out until
Speaker 6: February fourteenth, Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: Now do the fifteenth. What if it's like the day
Speaker 2: of self love and you're like buying yourself a Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day gift.
Speaker 5: Valentine's Day goes all horribly wrong.
Speaker 2: You need a budget casually musk class to hold you
Speaker 2: and keep you warm at night. Yeah, all right, running
Speaker 2: you a better job than your shitty ex boyfriend.
Speaker 6: Honestly running until fifteenth. I love discounts. I give you
Speaker 6: fifty bucks off as little WE Love You Present TLDR.
Speaker 2: It will not actually hold you and love you at night,
Speaker 2: but you know what it will do make you feel
Speaker 2: financially secure, so you probably sleep better at night, So
Speaker 2: turn out a ten idea.
Speaker 6: I feel like it's a nice little segue into our
Speaker 6: next topic as well. Victoria speaking of something I love
Speaker 6: you at night.
Speaker 2: Ah, No, it will not. This is spicy and will
Speaker 2: make you anxious. But we have a little community concern.
Speaker 2: One of you has slid into our DMS this week. Actually,
Speaker 2: to be honest, a lot of people have slid into
Speaker 2: our DMS this week. But I thought this was the
Speaker 2: spiciest topic, and we asked you guys what you would do.
Speaker 2: But first I want to hear what my team would do.
Speaker 2: So here's the dilemma. It goes, Hi, ladies, I have
Speaker 2: a dilemma. Surprise. My partner has been paying for only
Speaker 2: fans throughout my pregnancy and when my baby was born.
Speaker 2: I caught him late December as I saw a transaction
Speaker 2: on his bank statement and he told me it was
Speaker 2: a once off because I couldn't have sex with him
Speaker 2: due to pregnancy. I was so upset, but he said
Speaker 2: he didn't even like it, so I forgave him. Fast forward.
Speaker 2: There have been more transactions, some totally more than one
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars on subscriptions, but he won't even
Speaker 2: buy clothes for our unborn daughter. I'm so upset. I
Speaker 2: have a high sex drive, so there's no issue there.
Speaker 2: I'm upset he prioritizes this over other financial things we
Speaker 2: actually need. Looking for some advice here and in the bracket,
Speaker 2: she says. I know you'll probably say, been him. Has
Speaker 2: anybody else in the community gone through this, Becky, your
Speaker 2: little face.
Speaker 5: I do, obviously just want to make it known that
Speaker 5: I don't think there's anything wrong with only fans. I
Speaker 5: love only fans. There is nothing wrong with having you
Speaker 5: love it how much I love it, So I have
Speaker 5: several subscriptions. I don't I'm not rich enough. But I'm
Speaker 5: not rich enough.
Speaker 6: That's why. I mean, if they're paying one hundred and
Speaker 6: fifty dollars a thing like is that a monthly fee?
Speaker 6: That's insane.
Speaker 2: I see so much.
Speaker 6: It's about that. My brain went that some girls make
Speaker 6: him bank off that and that kind of makes you
Speaker 6: low key proud of you, sis, But the situation, sorry.
Speaker 5: Be no, well, yeah, I think that you know, there's
Speaker 5: absolutely nothing wrong with any of these circumstances.
Speaker 2: Unless you have Unless you have a.
Speaker 5: Pregnant partner and you're choosing to spend your money elsewhere.
Speaker 5: That's where it gets a little bit tricky, especially considering
Speaker 5: and I'm assuming by her tone maybe that she's not
Speaker 5: happy with him using or you know, gossuming that consuming
Speaker 5: that kind of content.
Speaker 6: It sounds like such a boundary thing because, as you said,
Speaker 6: you feel like there's nothing wrong with that, and I'm
Speaker 6: there's probably people listening who would viewer as you.
Speaker 2: Know, absolutely not that's cheating.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like it kind of really depends where you sit
Speaker 6: on that emotional scale. Some people love porn, some people
Speaker 6: are really against it. Like, we're not here to pass
Speaker 6: judgment on what people do organizing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely not. And like I fully think that porn
Speaker 2: should be paid for anyway, because like that's one of
Speaker 2: the ways to guarantee that it's basically an ethical outcome, right, Like,
Speaker 2: so however you're consuming it, I think that paid is
Speaker 2: is great. But I think this concern, from my perspective,
Speaker 2: is not necessarily around whether he's paying for that service
Speaker 2: or not. Because we're not a relationships podcast, we're a
Speaker 2: money podcast. So I'm assuming she's asked about a money dilemma,
Speaker 2: And I mean there's one the rules spots, so does
Speaker 2: go into the relationship side of things. But it's really, Hey,
Speaker 2: my partner has this spending problem, I would assume, and
Speaker 2: it's impacting my everyday life. I feel like it would
Speaker 2: be similar to saying, oh, my partner has a gambling
Speaker 2: addiction and we can't afford children's clothes, or my partner
Speaker 2: has you know, maybe a drinking problem and just spending
Speaker 2: money on gin instead of on you know, baby clothes.
Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Like that's the way I'm seeing it,
Speaker 2: and it's being i guess prefaced in my mind because
Speaker 2: she's seeing it as a problem.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But yeah, again, as you said, no judgment if it's
Speaker 2: only fans, it's only fans.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess, like hypothetically, if she didn't have a
Speaker 5: problem with him on only fans, then we're still looking
Speaker 5: at the issue of you're not spending your money on
Speaker 5: your unborn child, You're spending it somewhere else. So whatever
Speaker 5: that somewhere else is, that is still a bit of
Speaker 5: a thing that we need to be looking at. Yeah,
Speaker 5: but the actual what is actually spending the money on,
Speaker 5: of course, has its own complexities that they kind of
Speaker 5: need to work out maybe needs to.
Speaker 2: Find out why he's doing that. I feel like there's
Speaker 2: gonna be some people listening to this and they're like,
Speaker 2: only fans isn't porn, Like it's different, Yes, And I
Speaker 2: totally get that, because I also think that I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know how much Steve's going to appreciate me
Speaker 2: talking about porn publicly, But I feel like porn to
Speaker 2: me is different to only fans. I mean, I've never
Speaker 2: subscribed to only fans, so I can't talk to the
Speaker 2: experience of it. But in my head, that feels like
Speaker 2: a far more personal connection than you know, going on
Speaker 2: to like the World's Biggest Porn Stars website and paying
Speaker 2: for her content because it feels less personal like that
Speaker 2: to me feels like a boundary overstep. In addition, and
Speaker 2: obviously she didn't know about it, like she said, you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: I found a transaction and I'm unhappy with it, Like,
Speaker 2: do you think that's cheating? I feel like it would
Speaker 2: also really depend on who the only fans person was.
Speaker 2: Is it like an only fans girl who has four
Speaker 2: hundred thousand followers, or is it like an only fans
Speaker 2: person who's a local mum that maybe is a mum
Speaker 2: that your other kid goes to school with, then she
Speaker 2: has three hundred follow Does that make sense? Like, I
Speaker 2: feel like there's such a delineation between how far removed
Speaker 2: is this person.
Speaker 5: If they're close enough that you do know them personally,
Speaker 5: maybe or you.
Speaker 2: Could off my rocker. Absolutely, that's a bit, you know.
Speaker 5: But if they're so far removed that this person won't
Speaker 5: even ever know that you ever existed, then like whatever,
Speaker 5: like go ould.
Speaker 6: I feel like the other important thing that we're kind
Speaker 6: of missing here is that she had set the boundary,
Speaker 6: like she had found it earlier on and said I'm
Speaker 6: displeased with this. I'm not okay with it. I can
Speaker 6: hear people yelling at us through the pod. He's pregnant, right,
Speaker 6: carrying your child? Fair enough? If maybe you hadn't had
Speaker 6: the conversation, you weren't on the same page. He's like,
Speaker 6: I thought it was fine. She's like, absolutely not. That's
Speaker 6: something to be discussed between the two of you. But
Speaker 6: if she's set the boundary and he's done it, I
Speaker 6: feel like that's a real disrespectful thing for him to
Speaker 6: be doing to her, and then obvious the fact that
Speaker 6: it's impacting them financially. Is then an additional light, like
Speaker 6: you're going to pay some random girl, but you're not
Speaker 6: going to buy your baby something that it needs. That's
Speaker 6: where I kind of really have the issue is you're putting.
Speaker 2: Your I have so many issues from this whole thing.
Speaker 6: I know they're coming in everywhere. No, but it's like
Speaker 6: that is for me, the biggest problem is it sounds
Speaker 6: like maybe they don't have the most about any basic
Speaker 6: expensive you know, like that's such a tough time for
Speaker 6: you guys. And then for him to be funneling the
Speaker 6: money into something that I view is quite selfish in
Speaker 6: this situation, disrespecting the conversation that they had had previously,
Speaker 6: and to be doing all of that, well, she's just
Speaker 6: literally pushed a human out of her huha, like it's.
Speaker 2: Just human quote Jessica twenty twenty three. Do you know
Speaker 2: what else really really frustrates me about this conversation? And
Speaker 2: I'm going to read it again. He told me it
Speaker 2: was one off because I couldn't have sex with him
Speaker 2: due to pregnancy.
Speaker 6: That is gas lighting, sir.
Speaker 2: What Like, my partner's going through the entirely dramatic process
Speaker 2: of being pregnant, But she couldn't have sex, so I
Speaker 2: had to resort to other things. Get in the bin.
Speaker 2: And I know, she said at the end in brackets,
Speaker 2: I know you'll probably say it in them. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: do say get in the bin, like you belong in
Speaker 2: twenty twenty two, sir, like twenty twenty three eight for you,
Speaker 2: because that is not the take that men should have.
Speaker 2: That like's so true. It is so primitive to be like, oh, men,
Speaker 2: men need their sexual urges satisfied. Mate, No, no, sit down.
Speaker 2: That's actually gross. And I just think that that is one,
Speaker 2: as you said, Jess, disrespectful of the boundaries that had
Speaker 2: been set, but also like, whoa are you stuck in
Speaker 2: the stone age to think that that is something that
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty three women owe you. Yeah, she was pregnant,
Speaker 2: so she couldn't have sex with me. That's why I
Speaker 2: was naughty.
Speaker 6: You can't get a free lease on life because your
Speaker 6: wife's pregnantly.
Speaker 2: After her like, exactly true.
Speaker 6: That's not a heart, that's not a hard whole pass
Speaker 6: for you to be like, Ah, she could, and you.
Speaker 2: Know she couldn't. I need sort it out myself, and
Speaker 2: I did, and now she's mad at me, and I
Speaker 2: can't believe it, like, oh, disgusting, that is really disgusting.
Speaker 2: And he would have something to say about that. Clementine Ford,
Speaker 2: she would, she would. I want her opinion right here.
Speaker 2: I'm going I'm gonna call her. I'm calling her clem
Speaker 2: watch out. But honestly, I think this whole thing, I
Speaker 2: guess to sum it up, gives me the ick because,
Speaker 2: as you said, Jess, it's disrespecting the boundaries that were set.
Speaker 2: And obviously there are other financial needs, like if it's
Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty bucks, that's a lot of money,
Speaker 2: and I mean, as we said before, might not be
Speaker 2: a lot to somebody, but might be heaps to somebody else.
Speaker 2: I think it's really important to really distill it down.
Speaker 2: It's not you know, let's put aside all of the
Speaker 2: misogynistic conversation. But I think to distill it down, this
Speaker 2: family has a budget and he is not allocating finances
Speaker 2: in line with their shared values and taking advantage of
Speaker 2: that and then overstepping boundaries that were set. That's disrespectful
Speaker 2: and we need to deal with that.
Speaker 6: What did the community have to say?
Speaker 2: All right? So the community were as spicy in their
Speaker 2: commentary as we were someone said, the fact that he
Speaker 2: hid it is a red flag. Someone says that boy
Speaker 2: needs therapy. Stat I tried blind and optimism and I
Speaker 2: do not recommend. Someone else said, I think it might
Speaker 2: be a sign that there's something in the relationship he
Speaker 2: needs that maybe isn't being met. And that response gives
Speaker 2: me the hebgbis because that is never the answer, like, oh,
Speaker 2: his needs weren't being met in the relationships, so he
Speaker 2: turns to only fans and you know, spending money, not
Speaker 2: on our bait. No, not a response. Someone else said
Speaker 2: not acceptable. Amen.
Speaker 6: Good.
Speaker 2: Someone said, pawn slash onlyfan addictions are a real thing.
Speaker 2: But the huge red flag is it being prioritized over
Speaker 2: other things for your baby. Maybe consider how you'll feel
Speaker 2: if this continues in one, two, five, or maybe even
Speaker 2: ten years. As a child with a dad who has
Speaker 2: a gambling addiction. It hurt our family for years and
Speaker 2: the impacts are internal and I'm still working through them today.
Speaker 2: So I think that's that's a good point. Someone else said,
Speaker 2: he blatantly disrespected you and your child. I would not
Speaker 2: remain in a relationship with him. Someone else ash says no,
Speaker 2: full stop. Someone says, yep, I've been through this exact thing.
Speaker 2: I forgave him, but then found out much later he
Speaker 2: had a separate bank account for his only fans, and
Speaker 2: that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, dying.
Speaker 2: I know, if you could just DM me that that
Speaker 2: would be great. Someone said, binning is simplifying a situation
Speaker 2: that's actually quite complex. We need to understand what's driving it.
Speaker 6: I feel like that's a fair thing going.
Speaker 2: That's yeah, I think that's really adult, But like I'm
Speaker 2: not really adult, and if somebody is being treated like
Speaker 2: trash by somebody else, I'm very likely to be like,
Speaker 2: put them in the bin. You deserve better, my friend.
Speaker 2: The amount of red flag emojis that have been sent
Speaker 2: and the amount of times people have said boy bye,
Speaker 2: I think is that. But I think it's really interesting
Speaker 2: as well. And I mean to wrap it and just
Speaker 2: to remind people that we're not against only fans, we're
Speaker 2: against the situation of dishonesty. Is someone said, genuinely, OnlyFans
Speaker 2: isn't a problem at all. The problem is that he's
Speaker 2: hiding it from you and disrespecting your wants. And I
Speaker 2: think that that's probably a really good place to leave it,
Speaker 2: because we could go on and on and on about it,
Speaker 2: and we're probably going to go on and on and
Speaker 2: on about it once we stop recording. The other thing
Speaker 2: I want to put in here is like, obviously we've
Speaker 2: had I would hope a well rounded conversation here about
Speaker 2: this topic, but this isn't the court of public opinion,
Speaker 2: and I would actually suggest getting some professional help on
Speaker 2: this topic because I think that, as everybody else has
Speaker 2: been saying, there's something else that's underlying this, and whether
Speaker 2: that is disrespect or him not understanding, or something else
Speaker 2: going on, I think some professional help, not just She's
Speaker 2: on the Money commenting on your relationship saying boy bye,
Speaker 2: is absolutely needed, and I think with that we can
Speaker 2: wrap the show. Guys, amensis Amen, all right? Well, as always,
Speaker 2: we'll see you next week. Guys, have a good weekend,
Speaker 2: by ye bye.
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