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Speaker 1: Actually speaking of that Bluey thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously they have.

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Speaker 1: The big bluey characters. Did you not see when we

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Speaker 1: were leaving them carry them out in big body bags,

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Speaker 1: so the kids get to see Bluey and Bingo, the

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Speaker 1: big Bluey and Bingo. Yeah, and then as we will exit,

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Speaker 1: they're carrying both costumes and legitimate body bags. Like what's that?

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's a dead dog.

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Speaker 2: It's good to be back in.

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Speaker 1: Don't talk every rolling place.

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Speaker 2: It's good to be It's good to be back.

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Speaker 1: In the Northern Beaches of Sydney.

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Speaker 2: Good to be back in the Northern Beaches.

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Speaker 1: It is.

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Speaker 2: It's a fucking drive and a half out here.

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Speaker 1: It's like twenty three k's though, but it's like sit

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Speaker 1: your traffic and you've got to go through like a

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Speaker 1: couple of real shitty spots like north Bridge or whatever

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Speaker 1: way you go, Like either way, anyway you go over

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Speaker 1: the spirit it's a fucking not man.

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Speaker 2: North Bridge is quite a nice, like it's like a

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Speaker 2: castle bridge.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just knock that shit down, like, get over, get

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Speaker 1: over it. Man. Do you know how I living in

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Speaker 1: the past?

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Speaker 2: Do you know how I know you live really far away? Obviously,

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Speaker 2: besides the fact that it takes me an hour and

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Speaker 2: a bit to get here.

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Speaker 1: That's you're a slow driver.

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Speaker 2: I saw four roadkill for k Parkway. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Do you know Wakers Parkway is allegedly haunted. There's a

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Speaker 1: whole TikTok series about it.

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Speaker 2: Excuse me, bang haunted from what?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't listen because I don't believe.

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Speaker 2: It is a bit of an eerie drive.

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Speaker 1: Keeps people doing on that straight really yeah, not mysteriously,

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Speaker 1: they just drive drunk down there. So what sort of

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Speaker 1: road kill? Because look, I'm hungry bottom two.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't say kangaroos expert. Could have been a wallabie.

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Speaker 1: Well, you can't tell when they're splattered across the bitchy

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Speaker 1: how big they were to begin with. Could have been

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Speaker 1: a mouse and just been spread out across.

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Speaker 2: It's always nice to go for a drive and see

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Speaker 2: some of our unnatural fauna dead dead on the side

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Speaker 2: of the road.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, some of the things that are on the flag dead.

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Speaker 1: Welcome for a dead.

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Speaker 2: Em Welcome to ashes neck of the Woods.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, look we're roughing it up here, absolutely, but welcome back.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay

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Speaker 2: and I'm ash. This is a podcast that happens to

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Speaker 2: be all about parenting, the good, the bad, and the

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Speaker 2: relatable and as always, advice not here.

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Speaker 1: Yep, not today, clear my child, as we say today,

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Speaker 1: no advice. Well, you never know, there's all somehow we

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Speaker 1: seem to do it. Someone always says I took your advice.

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Speaker 1: I was like, don't blame me for that shit.

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Speaker 2: The next generation coming through, God help them, I will say.

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Speaker 2: And this is the biggest surprising thing I think about

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Speaker 2: the podcast is the fact that people go to the

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Speaker 2: gym and listen to us at the gym. I find

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Speaker 2: it absolutely buck wild. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I had someone that did a run and listened to

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Speaker 1: two episodes. What I know, Shit, it's not that good.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, surely you'd want to listen to like, who's

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Speaker 2: that Robin's guys. He's like Anthony Robins, Anthony Robins, you

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Speaker 2: want a bit him in your ear.

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Speaker 1: But like his voice is so annoying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not much better. But one lady was saying

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Speaker 2: that she had to stop listening to us because she

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Speaker 2: was giggling as she was trying to, you know, do

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Speaker 2: a squad.

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Speaker 1: So for anyone too aroused me.

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Speaker 2: Apologies for that, but if anyone at the gym right now,

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Speaker 2: one more deeper put it hard?

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Speaker 1: Do you know what? I hate that? Over? Like people

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Speaker 1: are just like way too enthusiastic about the gym, Like I, look,

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Speaker 1: I get it, I trained too, I just don't get

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Speaker 1: like over enthusiastic about it like you and you're running anyway.

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Speaker 1: As always, we would like to thank better be as

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Speaker 1: this episode would not be possible without you, and we've

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Speaker 1: gone back to the original, which is the zero carb, low.

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Speaker 2: Cow, zero sugar as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh beautiful, hash beautiful And look, I'm normally a can guy.

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Speaker 2: Why do you like cans? Oh?

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Speaker 1: You know, there's nothing more manly than crushing the can

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Speaker 1: on your head afterwards. But I quite like this out

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Speaker 1: of a bottle because it's crisp. It's one of those

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Speaker 1: day drinkers. You know, it's only like eight am in

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Speaker 1: the morning, so perfect dream.

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Speaker 2: If anyone at the gym right now, you can work

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Speaker 2: out and have a better beer.

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Speaker 1: They're pre workouts, I mean, it's that's what I use

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Speaker 1: them for.

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Speaker 2: It's refreshing, it'll give you a little energy boost. Approved

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Speaker 2: by Matt Nash absolutely and also also Ash. Yes we're

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Speaker 2: going to run a competition, a little competition, And the

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Speaker 2: way it's going to work is that we're giving out

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Speaker 2: a little merch voucher worth two hundred bucks, so a

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Speaker 2: couple of shirts.

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Speaker 1: Your hat you actually, I forgot I had this bad boy?

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Speaker 2: What do you think?

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Speaker 1: I like it? It's comfortable, it's actually these ones are

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Speaker 1: really good for sweating.

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Speaker 2: Would you run in that? Would you know? It looks

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Speaker 2: it's too nice.

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Speaker 1: It's just good, too easy wash. I find that when

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Speaker 1: you wash these ones the shape gets better. Reckon for

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Speaker 1: my head, your head looks funny.

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Speaker 2: My head's tiny. It's such a little pin head. You

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Speaker 2: have a great head for hats. Interesting that you're wearing

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Speaker 2: a hat when you've just got a haircut.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to wear I don't know. I just

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Speaker 1: I just thought i'd wear a better be a hat.

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Speaker 1: Because this episode is practical, and of course we're going

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Speaker 1: to give away some merch. So Matt, please again tell

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Speaker 1: us how it works.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So it's two in it all about you better

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Speaker 2: be a merch. If you would like to be in

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Speaker 2: the running to win it, all you have to do

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Speaker 2: is just share a story on your socials of you

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Speaker 2: listening to the podcast. So it could just be a

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Speaker 2: selfie you on your phone, your headphones in, could be

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Speaker 2: you know, on the car and like the little dashboard

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Speaker 2: and you know you're listening to it.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it while you're driving, Definitely, don't do it

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Speaker 1: while you're driving. If you drink driving, yes, don't drink drive,

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Speaker 1: But if you're driving, pull over. Take a tag to

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Speaker 1: doting dads.

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Speaker 2: So we have to do it all like a screenshot

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Speaker 2: on your mobile phone or listening to the podcast. It

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Speaker 2: is that simple. We will pick someone when is a competition?

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Speaker 1: Got to run?

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Speaker 2: Good question.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you are the twenty first is the day, correct,

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Speaker 1: and I'm glad you need me. You need me. So look,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna pick one twenty four hours from that from

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Speaker 1: the release of this episode random on the Thursday, Thursday

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Speaker 1: close of business, we're going to announce the winner, and

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Speaker 1: then we'll also announce the winner on the next.

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Speaker 2: Podcast, twout You thanks to Better Beer. Let's get into

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Speaker 2: the episode.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: It's weird to see you so fresh. What do you

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Speaker 2: mean considering like shit? Well, you gave it a bit

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Speaker 2: of a nudge. Normally we record midweek. Last episode we

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Speaker 2: did a Friday record. I think I underestimated how dangerous

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Speaker 2: it would be on a Friday. And also because you

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Speaker 2: like we finished the record and then you kind of

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Speaker 2: like jobs done, not to bring it back up ash unemployed. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we went to the pub afterwards. I don't really drink pints.

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Speaker 1: I was just smashing pints. It was one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite things to do.

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Speaker 2: You made me feel pathetic.

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Speaker 1: You are pathetic, but I remind you of that.

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Speaker 2: You would drink. You would drink a pint in like

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Speaker 2: the same time I drink like a schooner and a half,

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Speaker 2: and you were just.

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Speaker 1: There like my pine is like a scoon and a half.

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Speaker 2: Oh, actually, that does make sense.

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Speaker 1: I was slowing down for you pretty much, so I

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Speaker 1: would finish a pint when you were like nearly finishing

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Speaker 1: the scooter, like come on, yeah, and you just read

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Speaker 1: ready to rock and roll man, And like I got

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Speaker 1: home with God knows what.

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Speaker 2: Did you get in trouble? You know you didn't get

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Speaker 2: in trouble.

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Speaker 1: No, not really, because that's the thing I got home.

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Speaker 1: And then the thing that I do is that doesn't

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Speaker 1: get me in trouble is as soon as one of

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Speaker 1: the kids makes a peep. But like five five point

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Speaker 1: thirty form I'm up, How I'm a fucking machine?

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Speaker 2: How does that happen? Are you not? Does it take

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Speaker 2: a moment of you going I can do this?

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Speaker 1: A wise man once told me that I used to

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Speaker 1: work with Just get up and get it done, That's

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Speaker 1: what he was like. He was like, very much like that.

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Speaker 1: And he told me that before I had kids, and

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Speaker 1: he had three kids, and I remember I was like,

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Speaker 1: how do you do it? Like you are to me,

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Speaker 1: how do you do it? And he's like, look, it's

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Speaker 1: only temporary, just get up, get it done.

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Speaker 2: And I I'm not that strong.

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Speaker 1: Look there has been days where I've been like I

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Speaker 1: can't do it. Like, don't get me wrong, okay, but

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Speaker 1: if I want to live this sort of lifestyle where

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Speaker 1: Pep was like, you drink too much, but you know

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Speaker 1: what you got up? Let me go to the gym

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Speaker 1: and you had the kids for like an hour and

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Speaker 1: a half, all on your own here and with a

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Speaker 1: belting headache. You got to give us something back.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, it can't just be like yeah, being a

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Speaker 2: sack of shit on the couch.

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Speaker 1: Look, I've aged because of it. I know that.

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Speaker 2: Don't be so hard on yourself.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, that's the truth.

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Speaker 2: It is crazy. And then we could do with a

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Speaker 2: botox sponsor.

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Speaker 1: I'm more natural, but you need it, you know. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: it look big night.

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Speaker 2: But I hate when people are like, you just got

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Speaker 2: to tell yourself to get it done, because.

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Speaker 1: Because I'm not, I'm not. I'm usually that chipper, did

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Speaker 1: you know me? I'm not like that. I'm usually like

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Speaker 1: if someone said that to me, I'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: shut the voc up. But in this instance, you have to.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise it's just a fight or she'll got anything that

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Speaker 1: I say or anything I do. If I go oh yawn,

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Speaker 1: even she's like, because you hung over, it's not worth

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Speaker 1: the conversation. So I just avoid the fight. It was

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Speaker 1: a big night.

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Speaker 2: It was also I don't know if you you heard

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Speaker 2: back the episode from last week.

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Speaker 1: I haven't listened yet.

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Speaker 2: No, it's it's very sweary.

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Speaker 1: Oh is that what you were talking about? It is?

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Speaker 2: It is chock full of swear words from the get go.

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Speaker 2: And I blame you as well, because you started swearing

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Speaker 2: as a Friday will relaxed and every second word you know,

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Speaker 2: I was listening. We got a little bit of it out,

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Speaker 2: but it was like the swear words were just so

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Speaker 2: like thoroughly blended through all the sentences that it would

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Speaker 2: have been impossible to cut it out. Well, and you

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Speaker 2: hear the word fuck, and in my head, I'm thinking,

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Speaker 2: hopefully it's like five minutes before the next fuck. So

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Speaker 2: it's just like it's just like every fourth word you

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Speaker 2: were mere like shit fuck. So people have have listened

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Speaker 2: to that. I just want to say sorry, Ash and

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Speaker 2: I had a couple of drinks on a Friday. We've

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Speaker 2: got a bit sweary.

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Speaker 1: Classic it happens. Honestly, I never really think about it

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Speaker 1: that I'm swearing too much. It's just how I talk.

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Speaker 1: If you don't like it, fuck off.

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Speaker 2: And your listeners welcome and.

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Speaker 1: Listen you no no, no, no no no yeah.

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Speaker 2: You're like I feel like you are. You're the bad

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Speaker 2: cop on the good copy. I welcome my listeners with

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Speaker 2: open arms, and I'm like.

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Speaker 1: Please, I'm just giving them ship.

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Speaker 2: Let me get some crackers, makes it comfortable, and gett

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Speaker 2: a drink and ashes.

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Speaker 1: Like swearing like a sailor.

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Speaker 2: No shirt, your fucking loser.

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't be so judgy anyway.

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Speaker 2: How do you go with your friends?

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Speaker 1: It's just like that they're the same.

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Speaker 2: Have you had to like bump out any friends or

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Speaker 2: like cut down your friend time with other people because

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Speaker 2: obviously there's a new person in the mix.

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Speaker 1: He's got two thongs and in the middle of this guy,

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Speaker 1: is anyone any got the chop?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: No, no, Because like we do things in business hours, mainly.

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Speaker 2: Oh, we saw each other on a Saturday.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you saw me? Yeah we did. I did see

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Speaker 1: you on the Saturday, and I made it a point

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Speaker 1: on the Sunday not to call you. So I've seen

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Speaker 1: too much of this guy?

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I did notice you were playing hard to get.

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Speaker 2: I was just like, but on the Sunday, I was

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Speaker 2: going a slow death.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna talk about your running again.

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Speaker 2: What's you go to? Hang on a second? You talk

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Speaker 2: about your fucking running in Tokyo? And I sat there

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Speaker 2: with a big, beady smile. I was into every word

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Speaker 2: because and I was I was like, what else did

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Speaker 2: you do?

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Speaker 1: Ash?

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Speaker 2: And then I'm like, hey, I went for a run

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Speaker 2: on the weekend, And You're like, oh, wouldn't you just

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Speaker 2: shut up.

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Speaker 1: Unless you run with both kids strapped to you? No

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Speaker 1: one listening wants to hear it.

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Speaker 2: I'm not bragg get it out, get it over with.

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Speaker 1: Let's go.

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Speaker 2: Can you just pretend to be excited for okay, around

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Speaker 2: a half marathon? Obviously the one because off the calf

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Speaker 2: it was going to be a long run. You just

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Speaker 2: went for it, and I just I thought, fuck it,

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Speaker 2: that's just that's strange. I ran with my brother in law,

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Speaker 2: the one who I did the race with.

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Speaker 1: Who just walk in the park for the ultra athlete.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so he was like, let's do a half marathon

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Speaker 2: and I was like, half marathon whatever, I'm not even scared.

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Speaker 2: I was nervous.

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Speaker 1: You did a good time, too, so that makes it

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Speaker 1: even I gave it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was dying from the third kilometer in. I

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Speaker 2: was like, in a lot of pain.

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Speaker 1: Because you did eleven the day before.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, twelve, thank you very much. And halfway through I

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Speaker 2: was like, I really want to stop, and he was

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Speaker 2: like keep going, and I don't want to be weak

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Speaker 2: in front of the brother in law, so I kept on.

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Speaker 1: You can't do it. Yeah. I got to be at

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Speaker 1: the strongest you could possibly be in front of that

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Speaker 1: alpha male.

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Speaker 2: But it was painful. The last thirty minutes. Every step

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Speaker 2: my feet hurt.

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Speaker 1: The hammies were like, do your feet go like pins

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Speaker 1: and needles?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: How do you get rid of that? Just like, I

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Speaker 1: just kept going Is it just me being a fat fuck?

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Speaker 2: Or yeah? Yeah? Your feet like hell?

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Speaker 1: And I stopped stepping on us.

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Speaker 2: But we finished and I didn't feel too bad. Afterwards,

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Speaker 2: went for a quick jump in the water at Bondi Beach,

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Speaker 2: got home. I got home, I stupidly forgot to tell

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Speaker 2: Laura that I was doing a really long run.

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Speaker 1: So I got in trouble for doing the long run.

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Speaker 1: How do you get that phone call?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Afterwards, I left my phone in the car around

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Speaker 2: with the garments, so you can't. You don't get any.

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Speaker 1: That's not a plug, is it?

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Speaker 3: No?

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00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:05,520
Speaker 1: No, you've got a garment sponsor. I'm actually wearing a garment.

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Speaker 2: So I got home. I had like miss calls because

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Speaker 2: I was going for fucking ages. And then I just

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Speaker 2: started feeling like shit, really weird and queazy, and I

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Speaker 2: started getting these hot flushesopause.

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Speaker 1: And I was going through menopause.

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Speaker 2: It's just weird because I'm a thirty five year.

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Speaker 1: Old man and you look every year.

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Speaker 2: But I was getting you know, when you get really

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Speaker 2: sensitive to hot and cold and so I was like shivering,

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Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, I was like so

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Speaker 2: hot that I was taking layers off. And then I

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Speaker 2: was like, I think I've got to go light down.

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Speaker 1: You just wanted to get your kid out again.

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Speaker 2: There's a few occasions where you can go to your

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Speaker 2: partner and you say, I got to throw on the towel.

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Speaker 2: I've gotta lay down. I can't do this anymore. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was a shame to waste it on that Sunday,

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Speaker 2: because like, if you want to do that, you're to

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Speaker 2: do it. I'm like, you know, a good night out.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to do that off the back of

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Speaker 2: just a long run. Like what a waste?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you want to do it off the back

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Speaker 1: of a big night. But I had some fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just run for an hour and forty minutes. But

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Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. I had to lay down. I

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Speaker 2: slept two hours.

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Speaker 1: WHOA, I was in bed from.

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Speaker 2: About two o'clock till eight o'clock. Laura went to her

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Speaker 2: sister's house with the in laws, and that was in

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Speaker 2: the diary.

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Speaker 1: I did see some footage of that. I thought you

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Speaker 1: were going out, That's why no I did.

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Speaker 2: I was in bed. I was asleep and I never

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Speaker 2: sleep during the day. Yeah, And Laura came home and

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Speaker 2: she was calling me as well because she was like,

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Speaker 2: I wanted to help with the kids. Laura got home

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Speaker 2: just you know, just on bedtime. Couldn't even help it

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Speaker 2: with the kids, getting them out of the car, couldn't

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Speaker 2: get out, oh my, getting them back into bed.

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Speaker 1: I was like, old man, I thought I had COVID.

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Speaker 2: I did a COVID test.

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Speaker 1: We did a COVID test too.

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Speaker 2: I was like, it's got to be COVID. It's got

361
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 2: to be COVID. Nah, I'm just weak and pathetic. What

362
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 2: flattened me? Just running? Running?

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Speaker 1: And did you get carved up?

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, I had like a small bowl of cereal,

365
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:07,720
Speaker 2: but like it was only.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're running out of steam, mate, I am you are.

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00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 1: Kids are running your ragged Let's play the kids. Don't

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00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,440
Speaker 1: blame the running, just all the activities with the children

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Speaker 1: in between the running. So you bitched out on bath

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Speaker 1: in bedtime? Yeah, yeah, I think she owes your couple.

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00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 2: No, she's forgotten.

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Speaker 1: She's forgotten about forgotten the whole dancing with the start.

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Speaker 2: Literally it's now we're raised from my memory the fact

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Speaker 2: that I've had the kids pretty much solid.

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Speaker 1: That was like eight weeks of like solid. It was

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Speaker 1: eight weeks, wasn't it.

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Speaker 2: I swear it was eight weeks. When I tell Laura,

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Speaker 2: she's like, it was three weeks.

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Speaker 1: Three days, mate, I am your witness. That was a

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Speaker 1: long time. It was because I do you know why?

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Speaker 1: I know it was so long because I was like

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Speaker 1: I would hate that. Every week I was like, I

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Speaker 1: hate that, and it was that long that I, okay,

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Speaker 1: I would hate that.

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Speaker 2: So I've gone through eight weeks of solo parenting. I

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Speaker 2: had one afternoon where I couldn't get out of bed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. You even had to leave the

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Speaker 1: pub the other night because she wants to go out

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Speaker 1: to dinner. So made it's over. Yeah, what a waste,

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00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,600
Speaker 1: What a fucking fun Sunday? But do you know what

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00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 1: I did on Sunday?

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Speaker 2: Where were you?

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Speaker 1: Well, it's Oscar's birthday week, but he's not having any parties.

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00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,560
Speaker 1: Just tell him that he's having like family parties. But

395
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 1: my parents were here. We went down to a park

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00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,040
Speaker 1: and there was something I wanted to show you that

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00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:36,840
Speaker 1: my mum had given Oscar for his birthday. So I

398
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:41,280
Speaker 1: just quickly get it please, it's just here. It's just

399
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,960
Speaker 1: a book. Have you ever heard of superworm before?

400
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 2: Never heard?

401
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:53,040
Speaker 1: So superworm? Is this super superworm is like it's a

402
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,480
Speaker 1: it's a book that's been turned into like a short

403
00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 1: movie on ABC, but this book still exists.

404
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,320
Speaker 2: See about a worm?

405
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's super strong. I can't really remember the internet.

406
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 1: But the reason I wanted to show this book because

407
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,119
Speaker 1: April brought it to my attention and she was like.

408
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:10,760
Speaker 2: Does a worm look like a cock?

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Speaker 1: Look at that?

410
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,080
Speaker 2: Wow, that is a full blown glory hole.

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00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 1: That's a literally that's the other end of a gloryhole

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00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,200
Speaker 1: would look like look at it.

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00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 2: That's but so every page that is it's you know

414
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 2: what it is for me? It's the skin tone.

415
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,120
Speaker 1: Of the worm, like it make it more wormy, not

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00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:43,160
Speaker 1: like gray. It's very penisy like that's what the worm's

417
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:48,720
Speaker 1: supposed to look. Ribbed worm looks, But that just looks

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00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 1: like a cock puppet. It's a perfect song that is

419
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,959
Speaker 1: for you. But what about that? So mumsy?

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00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 2: That is a full blown penis? Did oscar like it?

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00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 1: Uh? Well, look look it's a book on your birthday

422
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 1: and you've got a remote control card. You tell me

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00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 1: if you fucking liked it.

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00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 2: Okay for anyone obviously.

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00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:14,480
Speaker 1: Super long super worm, but they call me.

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00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,400
Speaker 2: People are they're taking the piss here? Dude, they knew

427
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,640
Speaker 2: what they were doing. Oh yeah, this is not an accident.

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00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,639
Speaker 1: Why would you like, of all the puppet books, you

429
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 1: have to pick a penis shape looking puppet.

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00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 2: For anyone right now who's probably wondering what this book is.

431
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 2: They might even have this book they're not familiar with Superworm.

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00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,919
Speaker 2: It's the book with a hole cut in the middle, gloryhole,

433
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 2: a glory whole, and it's got like a little like

434
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,959
Speaker 2: a puppet penis. Yeah that you put your finger through

435
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 2: the whole, and so it's you can like, which is

436
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,719
Speaker 2: a cute idea, you can like be the worm as

437
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 2: you tell the story. But it just looks like a cock,

438
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 2: looks like a penis.

439
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,880
Speaker 1: I know I could also be the worm without that anyway.

440
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 1: So that's my Sunday. So I spent the rest of

441
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 1: Sunday after and going that looks like a penis? Why

442
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 1: is there another man's penis in my house?

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00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,400
Speaker 2: And is like, Daddy, tell us the story.

444
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,360
Speaker 1: Tell us again, that's what I wanted to show you.

445
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 2: Hey, will you make it to Marley's birthday. Sorry, do

446
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 2: you think you make it to Marley twenty fourth?

447
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:13,119
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, well, it just depends. What depends if my

448
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 1: kids are sick or not, or I pretend that this

449
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 1: Actually I wanted to ask you about I wanted to Actually,

450
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,919
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say. I wanted to tell you

451
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,959
Speaker 1: something that I've I've wanted to admit something. Okay, but

452
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 1: first I want to start it off.

453
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 2: Is stumbling a bit here?

454
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 1: What is it I want? I want to start it

455
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 1: off by saying one of the best things about being

456
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 1: a parent is using your kids to get out of things.

457
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's the dream.

458
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,440
Speaker 1: A couple of things I really like about having kids.

459
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:44,120
Speaker 1: Wipes we've been over. You love a wipe, take them everywhere.

460
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 1: It's the best thing that's ever happened to me, other

461
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:52,160
Speaker 1: than the kids and using them to get out of things.

462
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 1: And now I don't have a job, I can't use

463
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 1: them to get out of going to the office because

464
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 1: working from home is so much better. I was like, oh, kids, six,

465
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 1: I've got to help out around home. Used it a

466
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 1: me in times. They caught on that's what I have

467
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 1: a job. No, you know, I do it all the time.

468
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 1: If it's like a friend's birthday, and it's like, look,

469
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 1: I really like this friend, but I don't want to

470
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 1: go to the other side of the world to go

471
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 1: to a birthday party that's like your twenty seventh or

472
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: twenty eighth, which is just not a No one fucking

473
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,879
Speaker 1: cares about that age.

474
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: If it's a thirtieth, sure, fortieth maybe, yeah, fiftieth, I'm

475
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,199
Speaker 2: thinking about it.

476
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 1: Fiftieth I'm not gone. So anyway, I do want to

477
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 1: admit something to you. How have you.

478
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,959
Speaker 2: Managed to maintain any kind of friendship in this world?

479
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: Ash, I'm a lovable guy.

480
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 2: Are you though people going.

481
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 1: To or do you reckon?

482
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 2: It's just because you're so elusive that people just want

483
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 2: you more.

484
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's what I'm going Yeah, tree to me

485
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 1: and keep keenly. So there's something I want to admit

486
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 1: and admit that I did to me. No, no, no,

487
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: I used So Mother's Day this year. So my grandmother's

488
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 1: eighty six. Okay, she lives in where sitn here. It's

489
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 1: so far for me to drive, and everyone was going

490
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 1: there for Mother's Day to see my eighty six year

491
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 1: old grandmother who I love dearly. Okay, don't take this

492
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:10,880
Speaker 1: the wrong way.

493
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 2: Obviously, you guys have you've been brought up in the

494
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 2: same state as your grandmother most of your most of

495
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 2: it because some people.

496
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,920
Speaker 1: Like for me, I don't make this about you, No.

497
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 2: I just I didn't. Really, I didn't really have much

498
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 2: contact with.

499
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 1: My Australian idol subside.

500
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 2: Have nothing more than a relationship with my grandmother. And

501
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 2: it was only the fact that she lived halfway across

502
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 2: the world in the UK. We were separated by oceans.

503
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,640
Speaker 2: You know, you're like, what, you had two toll roads

504
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 2: to get through and you couldn't do it.

505
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: Sorry, not on this occasion. Sorry, you don't know that.

506
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 1: I haven't got to the climax of the story yet.

507
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,640
Speaker 2: What was her eighty six? What was her name?

508
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 1: Her name's olive?

509
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 2: Oh beautiful name? What lovely?

510
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: Not making me feel bad? Okay, So anyway, it was

511
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Everyone was going out there for Mother's Day lunch.

512
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: I was being home over that is is such a

513
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 1: So what I did do is I pulled my kids

514
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: sick card and we can't go. So on Mother's Day,

515
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 1: I didn't go to the Mother's Day lunch for my grandmother.

516
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 1: And no one knows that And now everybody knows that.

517
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 2: Who did you text Olive?

518
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 1: Or did you text text Olive? Yeah?

519
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 2: Okay? Did she write back?

520
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's so lovely. That's okay. She didn't

521
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 1: She actually texting capitals all the time, so she yelled

522
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:31,959
Speaker 1: at me.

523
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 2: Essentially, did you go into too much detail about the illness.

524
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,199
Speaker 1: Or didn't know? I never I feel like you.

525
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 2: Say that because fever's always an easy one. Say go

526
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 2: to fever.

527
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 1: Too many details means you're lying. And look, I always

528
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 1: use my kids to get out of things I don't

529
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 1: want to go to. This is not that I didn't

530
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 1: want to go. I physically couldn't go.

531
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 2: I could, how hung because as he said, you just

532
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: get up and you just do it.

533
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 1: I just think it was I couldn't drive. It would

534
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 1: have been legal for me to drive.

535
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 2: If you got pulled over, you would have.

536
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: Been yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And I look, I've

537
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: just said to April, I've said, hey, hang on, what

538
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: do you think about this? And she was like, yeah,

539
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 1: let's do it.

540
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 2: Because I'm going to assume that maybe April's not super

541
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 2: close with Olive, perhaps.

542
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 1: She's very close with Olive. Her and Nan, I'm really

543
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: sorry about this.

544
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 2: I thought for a second, I'm not gonna lie. I

545
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 2: thought you're going to tell me that Olive is no

546
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: longer around. No, she is, okay, thank you.

547
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: She was there on Sunday, Thank heavens she came. Oh

548
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,360
Speaker 1: my god, it makes even worse that she's eighty six

549
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: and she came all the way over here on Sunday

550
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: to see.

551
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: You are You're a bad person. You are a bad.

552
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 1: Feel a lot better, though.

553
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 2: Did you feel a little bit guilty, because sometimes when

554
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 2: you have a hangover in.

555
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: The morning, I felt horrible about it.

556
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 2: I bet you didn't.

557
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 1: Bet I said, she's not my mum.

558
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:55,879
Speaker 2: Did you get like a follow up?

559
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: Do you know what the worst thing is? With my

560
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: parents who don't live in this state went and I

561
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:07,120
Speaker 1: didn't know my sister's going to hear this, and fucking

562
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 1: that's it.

563
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 2: When we talk about not giving any type of advice.

564
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,880
Speaker 1: Don't take Yeah, look, use your kids to get out

565
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 1: of all sorts of things. Okay, use them definitely.

566
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 2: But for family member, maybe I have long to go.

567
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 2: Heaven forbid.

568
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,440
Speaker 1: She's very sprightly for age.

569
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 2: She's eighty six.

570
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: Mate. Yeah, she loves to get up on the ladder too.

571
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 1: She lives alone.

572
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 2: Why once you hit eighty the ladders are no more. Noah,

573
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: take the ladders away from her.

574
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,400
Speaker 1: Anyway, car keys and ladders.

575
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: No time for it.

576
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: But like when, like, does anything come to mind for

577
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: you that you've used your kids to get out of?

578
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 1: And actually, I want to put this out I want

579
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 1: to put this out there, Okay, And I'm going to

580
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 1: put it on my Instagram. At some point it might

581
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 1: already have been on this I'm not going to promise

582
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: to do it after this episode. I might have already

583
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 1: asked you it when and what have you used your

584
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: kids to get out of? You know, social Oh yeah.

585
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: I think especially when they were in like the first

586
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 2: twelve months of their lives. Like having like a newborn

587
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,920
Speaker 2: is just like that is the ultimate get out of jail.

588
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, just like oh cough, yeah, I can't go

589
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: about so sorry, I can't come.

590
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 2: It really is a nightmare trying to put the kids

591
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 2: in the car, and like especially with the newborn, because

592
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 2: you need so much stuff, Like you can't just get

593
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 2: ready in fifteen minutes. You've got to like pack as

594
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 2: if you're going away for a weekend because you've got

595
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 2: small treets, you've got just fair clothes. Fuck you just

596
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 2: got everything. Yeah, and anyone who I think if you

597
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 2: have to drive somewhere that's longer than like I'm going

598
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 2: to say the max is thirty minutes. Anything above thirty minutes.

599
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: They're frustrated. Back there can't be fucked, I know. And

600
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,719
Speaker 1: it's like, look, it's just part of the gift of

601
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: being a parent that the child has actually given you

602
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: is the ability to use them to get out of

603
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: anything that you like totally obviously not without completely without

604
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: the guilt.

605
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 2: And there's always those someone used it to get out

606
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 2: of my engagement party, like mine engagement party, and then

607
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 2: the wedding they.

608
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: Did they did the double So first of all.

609
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 2: You can't be angry.

610
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: Were you impressed at the time, I was like I

611
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: don't give a ship. Yeah, right, because it's like whatever.

612
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: So the first one was like, okay, it's an engagement party.

613
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: It wasn't kid friendly. It was literally on a main

614
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: road with no with no with no gates, nothing, and

615
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 1: they were like, why can't we bring our kids. It's like, okay,

616
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: bring it, bring them and see what happens. They're like, oh, okay,

617
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 1: that's fine. But then on the day so the waisted

618
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 1: an umber there. They were like, oh, they're sick, and

619
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: I was like, bullshit. But at the same time, I

620
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: was like, whatever, I don't care. Yeah, getting pissed on

621
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 1: my engagement party and you're not going to be missed.

622
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 2: I think as a parent, though, there is definitely the

623
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 2: thought anytime, anytime someone's like because I think Lola's birthday,

624
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 2: she was too recently and one of Laura's friends did

625
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 2: the old so and so is not feeling too well,

626
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 2: and I was like, that's.

627
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 1: Bullshit, cop out, it's a cop out, but play on,

628
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 1: play on six again. But then these same couple did

629
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: it the day before the wedding, which which is fun

630
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: because I paid one hundred and something dollars ahead for

631
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 1: this person.

632
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 2: Where did you get married?

633
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 1: About moral?

634
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 2: Okay, so get a fucking babysitter.

635
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 1: Oh fully, they just didn't. There were those parents that

636
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 1: couldn't leave their kids. That's what we worked out, not

637
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 1: to judge you. Yeah quickly, let's judge them. Let's see. Yeah,

638
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: a judge for you want.

639
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: To night away from your kids?

640
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 1: For sure, you go on a wedding, it's free, but

641
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: I'm paying for you. I'm essentially paying for you. To

642
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: have a night out, and you stiffed me the day before,

643
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 1: so like, there's no.

644
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 2: Did you say, like send me a photo? You better

645
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 2: be in hospital?

646
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that kid better be on his deathbed. I'm telling

647
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: you right now that I wish that upon him. I

648
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 1: want evidence.

649
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 2: Are you still friends with him?

650
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: I believe it or not. It was some type of

651
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: family I was a family member. I'm not getting into

652
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: it because I don't know if they do hear this,

653
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 1: and that's gonna.

654
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 2: Be We're gonna first of all, you're gonna have to.

655
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 1: Spark it back up again. I've already got nan News.

656
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 2: Is going to become an archer after this episode.

657
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 1: She won't listen. She doesn't know what podcast is. I

658
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: tried to explain it to you yesterday or Sunday, No idea,

659
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: What do you mean you mean radio? You know Alan

660
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: Jones is similar less racist. I would say, I've always

661
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: told you I hate everybody equally.

662
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 2: Surprised you didn't notice anything about the car when I arrived,

663
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 2: nothing at all, Nothing at all?

664
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to notice about?

665
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 2: Mate? She was looking pretty clean.

666
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 1: You're actually not known for having clean things.

667
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 2: So exactly, and for the first half just it's.

668
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: Obviously not to my standards.

669
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 2: The car was washed, and I've waited for this moment

670
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 2: for a very long time. Is when I got simple things,

671
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 2: when I can put my children to work.

672
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: And no, yes, yes, that's weather pad.

673
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 2: I have this problem.

674
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: You've crossed over. It's a child labor. Yeah, I love it.

675
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 2: I have a problem where I'm kind of nap trapped

676
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 2: in the afternoons because like, up until twelve o'clock, I'm like,

677
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 2: fucking great, can do anything, go to the park, go

678
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 2: for a walk, like you know with the kids, can

679
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 2: do anything. But then I got to get home. For

680
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 2: twelve twelve thirty years, Lulla needs that nap. And then

681
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 2: the issue is I can't go anywhere because Lola is

682
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 2: going to sleep for an hour and a half and

683
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,719
Speaker 2: Marley's like, mate, what are we going to do?

684
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: iPad?

685
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 2: And I give it the iPad just for a little bit.

686
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 1: And it's okay. Those of you who are listening thing,

687
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: I can't believe you give your kid an iPad. It's

688
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 1: like shit, it's just twenty twenty three. It's actually some

689
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: people will go on a fucking Mars soon.

690
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 2: It's actually really impressive the apps that you can get.

691
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 2: Now you can get like drawing.

692
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 1: You're going to get an Apple Vision. That's the next

693
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: when they bring out the child version of Apple Vision.

694
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 2: If it keeps her quiet for half an hour, I'll

695
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 2: do it absolutely. But she loves it. Except now the

696
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 2: issue is ash she's just becoming really obsessed with the

697
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 2: iPad like all the time. Yeah, she's just like fucking like, yeah,

698
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:35,479
Speaker 2: she's like scratched. Where is it? Laura comes home and

699
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 2: she's even Laura's been like Laura tries to catch me out.

700
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 2: She comes home and she's like, how long we're on

701
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: the iPad? Four? It's like three hours? And I'm like,

702
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 2: it's not true.

703
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: Why you're gonna believe a four year old over me? Yeah?

704
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 2: Except yeah, I now I need to get her off

705
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: the iPad. And I'm like, what can I? What can

706
00:31:55,040 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 2: I do? Like put activity and your labor for a

707
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: bit get She likes a drawing and then she gets

708
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 2: bored of it, So I thought, yeah, what can I

709
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 2: She's really into it, Like she's kind of Mala's now

710
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 2: understanding the concept of money, because I guess like for

711
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 2: kids now, like they don't really see money that often,

712
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 2: like like we did, you know, not to sound like

713
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 2: I'm really old, but you know parent, we would see

714
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 2: our parents.

715
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, cash was king, like now it's I'm paying

716
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: my phone. Yeah, they're like, it's like through. He's a

717
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 1: good example. If you went down to a KMA or

718
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: a toy shop to buy a cash register. Yes, guarantee

719
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: you there's no cash in it. I guarantee you it's

720
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: got Yeah.

721
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: Isn't it fucking wild?

722
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 1: It's wild, man, It's the world's wild place. But that

723
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: defines it.

724
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 2: We're getting deep from this. But so Marley's really like

725
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 2: into money. She's into coins. Got a little jar that

726
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 2: she's keeping, like a little money jar. And I said

727
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 2: to her, like, do you wanna do you want to

728
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 2: have some coins? And it's also great because she likes

729
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: the big coins like.

730
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, bigger the coin, the less it's worth. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

731
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 2: I had no idea. So I got the soap ready,

732
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 2: I got the bucket, and I was like, there you go,

733
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 2: get to it. Son did a pretty average job, to

734
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: be fair.

735
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: Well, she is four, not yet four, not quite four,

736
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 1: but like what do you expect?

737
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: She loved it?

738
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: So did you not help?

739
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:21,239
Speaker 2: No?

740
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: How did you do the roofs up on the ladder.

741
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: Get up on this extended ladder there, sweetheart on top,

742
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 1: don't scratch it.

743
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 2: I was there like giving her a hand, and I

744
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 2: went inside just to get my phone, and like I

745
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: got distracted for a second. Classic somehow the gate had

746
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 2: closed as well.

747
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 1: Like so she's locked out there, Oh my god.

748
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 2: They ever had driven past, and then it was just

749
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 2: seeing Marley there like by herself. For the record. It

750
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 2: was for like a minute or two.

751
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that was it.

752
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 2: And they rang the doorbell and like age checking out.

753
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 1: They rang the door. Can you do mine next?

754
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 2: I'll bring around it comes home and exhausted. She's got

755
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 2: blisters from washing all the.

756
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 1: Time, drink of water in hours out there in the sun.

757
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, if you need your car done, let me know.

758
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: I'll bring I do need two cars done. Thank you.

759
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: That's great. I love how you've crossed over into child

760
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: labor because that's every parent's stream where it's like they

761
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: can help out for minimum wage. How much did the

762
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:35,439
Speaker 1: young girl earn that day?

763
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,280
Speaker 2: Fifty cents.

764
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 1: That's outstanding money. If there's any children listening, that's great

765
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 1: money because you could go to India and get maybe

766
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: the quarter of that.

767
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 2: It would be a lot worse.

768
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: I haven't quite crossed over yet. I mean, what have

769
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: I got oscar to do? Like I can get the

770
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: remote on the other side.

771
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 2: And even that, even that is like a beautiful moment

772
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 2: when you can still.

773
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: Win because I've been trying to train the dog to

774
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 1: do it for nine years. That's at the other end

775
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: of the house, at the couch, and I'm like, get

776
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 1: the remote and he'll get distracted in that tiny.

777
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 2: Oh is it so disappointing when you're like, good boy,

778
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 2: almost there, He like picks it up and then you

779
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 2: can see just get like a noise will happen, or

780
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: like something will get his attention away and he starts

781
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 2: and he puts the remote yea further away from where

782
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 2: it was.

783
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 1: What did he do this morning? I was like, can

784
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 1: you grab the remote? Aus of make he was like

785
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,959
Speaker 1: right up against me. I was like, can you grab

786
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: the remote? And he like grabbed it and went to

787
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,359
Speaker 1: the kitchen to get like a snack or something. Came

788
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 1: back with a snack and not the remote, and I

789
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: was like, this is why you're not getting paid this week.

790
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 1: Tell me loud, tell me live.

791
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 2: A gosh. Lies last week, Yes, we had a few

792
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 2: lies I told the lie of Marley not being able

793
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 2: to pick a nose because it did stretched nostrils and

794
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 2: a brain will fall out. Didn't go down too well.

795
00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:58,800
Speaker 1: Nope, and she started.

796
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: Picking a nose again, which was really, really fucking annoying.

797
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: Oh I actually saw her do it.

798
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:03,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, you saw it.

799
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: I pointed it out.

800
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 2: I was like, she's just like, shut up. I'm in

801
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 2: a good place right now.

802
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: Like I'm digging for gold.

803
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 2: But we asked, we asked the good listeners of this

804
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: country to submit their lies, and each week I thought

805
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 2: we should pick up the best ones. I've picked my

806
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 2: best two. This week, I'm going to start us off.

807
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: I've also picked two just so you know whether you're

808
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: expecting that or not, because last week I was very.

809
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,280
Speaker 2: Okay. Line number one. This parent here says that anytime

810
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,879
Speaker 2: their kid wants to eat something that they're munching on,

811
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 2: they just say it's really spicy and you won't like it.

812
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 1: Love that. That's a classic. I always do it with

813
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,960
Speaker 1: like like soft drink or something, and I'll be like

814
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: spicy April, Like if we go to KFC or whatever,

815
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: April gets a sun kissed. That's what she likes. He

816
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: knows it's like the orange spicy drinks, I already knows it.

817
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 1: Or if I get coke, he's like, that's the black

818
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: spicy drink. It's a great one.

819
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 2: Spiciness is like kryptonite for kids. I mean, I'm wondering, like,

820
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 2: are there any kids out there who can handle spice from.

821
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,280
Speaker 1: A young age?

822
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 2: If so, fuck those parents. I gotta feel.

823
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 1: Because if I get like I'm going to mention caves

824
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 1: a getting it. If I get like wicked wings and

825
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 1: like I have by spicy, can give you one. But

826
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 1: now all chicken that I have is spicy.

827
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 2: Even sometimes like chocolate biscuit, which is Miley's bikes, and

828
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 2: she's like chocolate chip cooking. I'm like, oh, it's a

829
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 2: spicy spice one spices on them. You wouldn't like it.

830
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 2: You can transmit you one, and she's like, no.

831
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: You wouldn't like it. My first one is the classic

832
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 1: I need to poop. So look, whether you want to

833
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: lie to your kids or your wife on this one.

834
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 2: Works for both parties.

835
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: It works for both parties because like if I smell

836
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: Masie and she's like she has done ship, I'm just

837
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 1: gonna I need to do purpose. I need to do purpose,

838
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 1: but like if I come outside and ride the bike

839
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 1: with me and I just couldn't be asked. I'm like purpose,

840
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: and it's weird.

841
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 2: It's the one line that they understand.

842
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, because they know how much it's traumatizing. Yes, yeah,

843
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: they think it's as traumatizing for us thirty years la.

844
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: I can say to the kids, can I just have

845
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 2: one minute? Please, doesn't matter I'm working or Daddy needs

846
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 2: to just do something really quickly. Doesn't mean shit to them.

847
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 2: They don't care if I say, hey, guys, I'll be

848
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,760
Speaker 2: back in a second. I just need to go do poos.

849
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, please, don't let me hold you.

850
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: Up as you were young man. Yeah, yeah, that's a

851
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:39,720
Speaker 1: great one.

852
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 2: My second lie, Ash, this is a lie that a

853
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 2: lot of people submitted. I had it more than one time.

854
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: I had it like seven times. I've never heard of

855
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 2: it being done before. It was never told to me

856
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 2: when I was a child, But I don't know if

857
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: you've heard of it. These parents are saying that they

858
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 2: tell their kids that if they lie to them, if

859
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 2: they if the kid lies to the parent, on the

860
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: child's forehead, a red dot will appear so the parents

861
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 2: will know that they're lying?

862
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 1: What, like why I read like I don't.

863
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 2: Because I don't know. I don't know, But like.

864
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,439
Speaker 1: If someone could just explain what that means?

865
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 2: Why I read dot.

866
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 1: Tell my kid, if you lie me, someone's gonna be

867
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: a picture of a dick on it. Yeah, yeah, that

868
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 1: could be anything.

869
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 2: That be that to be more fearful. But and I

870
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 2: guess that the kids don't lie because I mean, kids

871
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 2: are very I feel like, as a parent, surely you

872
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: can tell when your child's lying.

873
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,479
Speaker 1: Unless your child, Yeah, because I always ask are you lying?

874
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: They they're not that smart.

875
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 2: But you just like you just you don't say anything,

876
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 2: just look at them, and then they like they're like

877
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: they can't handle the interrogation.

878
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: It's like Oscar was telling me some kid hit him

879
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:54,280
Speaker 1: a kindy. I'm like you sure, It's like, nah, idiot.

880
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: My final lie is another classic, Everything is broke.

881
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 2: Ah. Now can I just say yeap bravo?

882
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 1: That is the top shelf li It is a top

883
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 1: shelf fly. I used this one a lot. So one

884
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: prime example that I used is we're up at the

885
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 1: pub up here that has like a playground. Of course,

886
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:21,360
Speaker 1: why would I go to the pub? It didn't have

887
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,839
Speaker 1: a playground. Anyway, I took oscre up there and there's

888
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 1: those claw machines, and I knew that he was kind

889
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: of obsess over it because we've been there before. But

890
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: on the way in there was an area of the

891
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 1: pump that had a sign up that said this is

892
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: closed so not in use. Stole that because I knew

893
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,799
Speaker 1: the law machine was coming, and I put it on

894
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: the claw machine before he could notice it. And he

895
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: comes over to play with the claw machine and it

896
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: even had the sign saying it was not open. And

897
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, sorry, buddy, what a shame, What

898
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:00,879
Speaker 1: a shame. It's broken. Going to be able to hang

899
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: off that thing like you do and bang it and

900
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: ask me for money every five seconds?

901
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: I thought you're going to tell me that it was

902
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 2: one of those like little rides like either.

903
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:13,800
Speaker 1: Like the I always say that broken two yeah.

904
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 2: Everything for everything, whether it's.

905
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 1: Like the playground, Yeah yeah, yeah, that's another good one

906
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 1: when like I, we'll save other lies for other.

907
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 2: Episodes, even even like YouTube YouTube, YouTube's broken broken. Everything's broken,

908
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 2: Like I'll go to bed.

909
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to bed. Oh YouTube's gonna break.

910
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: It's Oh look, you've broken it. Yeah, I think like

911
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 1: it's a really easy one to trick. It's not a lie,

912
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 1: it's a trick. I would say.

913
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 2: I feel like trick and lying is very similar ash

914
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 2: for some well some tomato tomato.

915
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, look, I will tell you're right. I'm not going

916
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: to argue on that point. But that's the lies for

917
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 1: this week. So keep coming in because we've got We've

918
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,240
Speaker 1: got a lot more to come through.

919
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 2: If ever there was going to be some advice pauled

920
00:41:58,040 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: from an episode, it would be this segment, right.

921
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: How to lie to your kids better. We're teaching you

922
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 1: how to lie to your kids all your future kids better.

923
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 2: You're welcomes. Before we go, we have one little segment.

924
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 2: This is where we answer some of the questions from

925
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 2: our listeners. We only have time for two, which is

926
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 2: such a shame because there are so many people out

927
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 2: there who really need a lot of help. For some

928
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 2: unknown reason, they turn to us. It's baffling to answer

929
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 2: these parenting.

930
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: Questions and some like I've seen questions and look, if

931
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 1: I haven't got back to your DM or on the Instagram,

932
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: there's two reasons for that. One I'm lazy and two

933
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 1: your message is too long.

934
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have been quite good though.

935
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 1: That tightened that shit up, and I'll come back to you.

936
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 2: Have you had any interesting messages coming through so far

937
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 2: that may not be questions? Anything I don't recall has

938
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:54,280
Speaker 2: sparked your interest.

939
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 1: Not a very good reader.

940
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 2: I reckon, you've just gotten April on that job. I

941
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 2: feel like there's.

942
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: No ways you would want to that. I go back.

943
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 1: I do go back. There's nothing that just like spring

944
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 1: to mind. There are some good ones I get, and

945
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: I usually would respond with you know something you know,

946
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: saying thank you for the funny story or whatever, But

947
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:12,959
Speaker 1: some of them are just too long.

948
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 2: Guys, these are people who are pouring their heart out.

949
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 2: They're like, I've tried everything.

950
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 1: You leave me a two page message. It's unread. Delete.

951
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 2: I love how people write a message in the DM.

952
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 2: And they started off by saying like, ah, sorry, Ash,

953
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 2: I know you hate us, but I just want to

954
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:33,280
Speaker 2: say something quickly.

955
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 1: I know I know you hate dms. It's like, oh,

956
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 1: please carry one.

957
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: Okay. We've got two questions. The first one is how

958
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 2: do you get your toddler to sleep through the night.

959
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 2: I feel like we've had a question that's similar to

960
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 2: this about sleep routines. I don't there's no trick. There

961
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 2: is no trick. I feel like it everyone's got.

962
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 1: Well, look that's wrong, you're wrong. Do you reckon that

963
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 1: everyone's got their own trick? Because every every kids different

964
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: without you even knowing it, you would have your tricks

965
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 1: like that you put into play so that you know

966
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: that your daughters are going to go to sleep or

967
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 1: you know it helps them be comfortable to go to sleep,

968
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: and subconsciously.

969
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 2: I feel like it's just routine. Like kids are fiends

970
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:15,360
Speaker 2: for routine.

971
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, but like sometimes it's just not what trick

972
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 1: have you got?

973
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,439
Speaker 2: What do you what do you got in your little bag? There?

974
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: Well around Mary Poppin's bag down, it's cold. No, look

975
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 1: it's not. It's not a trick. But like like I said,

976
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: like there would be little things that you do that

977
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 1: you don't really just a part of just say you

978
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: don't have a routine. Sometimes I could not having a

979
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: routine could be a routine. Didn't that blow your mind?

980
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 3: Wait a second, wash it down with a bit of

981
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 3: better beer, spitting truth, Yeah, I think like getting them

982
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,880
Speaker 3: to say it's different every night, right, yeah, routine, like we.

983
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: Have a routine, like bath, then after the bath, what

984
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 1: you can and can't do before you go, Yeah, you

985
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,399
Speaker 1: don't want to get to Yeah, but sometimes some nights

986
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: it's just like just to get them to sleep. They

987
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: might need to just sleep with you that night.

988
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 2: Do you know what I used to do that? I

989
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 2: look back and I think, when you're a toddler, I

990
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 2: kin't of remember what I did last week, let alone

991
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 2: when I was a toddler, But when Marley was a newborn,

992
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,839
Speaker 2: actually all the way up until like after Lola was born,

993
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 2: this is like the first couple of years of her life.

994
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 2: I used to look. Laura and I both did this.

995
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 2: We used to rock Marley to sleep in our arms, yeah,

996
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 2: and then put it down, and then she would fall

997
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 2: asleep in her arms and we would place her in

998
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: the cot. And obviously we all know that transitioning a

999
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 2: child is so hard because you put him in that cot.

1000
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 2: Then as soon as you like stop making contact.

1001
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: As soon as you move your arm under their head,

1002
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: and their.

1003
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:54,280
Speaker 2: Head goes, where are you going, motherfucker?

1004
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, fully, it's a nightmare.

1005
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 2: And now with Lola, we just put it down, dummy, bottle,

1006
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 2: shut the or.

1007
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 1: Let her do a thing.

1008
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 2: Wow.

1009
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:02,879
Speaker 1: Self, cettled. That's great.

1010
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 2: Have you ever done what are the gummies called melatonin?

1011
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: Yes, thankfully we did, Like we did a lot of

1012
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 1: sleep training, and we've spoken about this when I said,

1013
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 1: don't do it too early because it's a waste of time,

1014
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: and it is.

1015
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 2: But I think, like Burt was short, sharp, magical, I

1016
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 2: really want let's just keep it.

1017
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 1: Was part of the conversations keep sorry doing it. I think,

1018
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: like you said, routine is key because kids of that

1019
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,919
Speaker 1: age two, three four do love routine. So like we

1020
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: thankfully we haven't had to use the melatonin.

1021
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 2: Because have you ever you ever tried it once?

1022
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: No, so this is the first time you tried it.

1023
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 2: We did it the other night. Why, we were at

1024
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,720
Speaker 2: someone's house and they were giving it to their kids

1025
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:50,959
Speaker 2: and we were like, what do you got there?

1026
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 1: Just group them in together? What have you got there? Heroin?

1027
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,320
Speaker 1: Just group them together.

1028
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 2: I'll be fine. And they had some and.

1029
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:04,919
Speaker 1: They're still asleep three days later. I haven't heard from.

1030
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 2: Him on the car ride home, and to be fair,

1031
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 2: it was late anyway.

1032
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 1: So like it could have just been the lateness of Yeah,

1033
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: but when the children to be away.

1034
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:16,920
Speaker 2: Lola was in the back seat, you know, when you

1035
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 2: like look in the rearview mirror and you can kind

1036
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 2: of see them like she's like, I'm tired.

1037
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and they stare off and yeah, just like

1038
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:29,320
Speaker 1: I remember when I fell asleep, and like he'd fallen

1039
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 1: asleep when we must have been going down a hill.

1040
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: Seat belt was just keeping falling.

1041
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 2: It was that poor neck.

1042
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was completely perfect. But he must have fallen

1043
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 1: asleep when we're going downhill because he was falling forward.

1044
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 1: But yeah, look, there's no secret. Every kid's going to

1045
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 1: be different. Don't put too much pressure in itself is

1046
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: one thing I would.

1047
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 2: Say, What the fuck did you just say?

1048
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 1: I'm full of good advice, Like, I just don't use it.

1049
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 2: Just as the episodes about to wrap up and comes

1050
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,280
Speaker 2: out with like a nice care and considerate line prime

1051
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 2: for that, he's like, ye're fucking nothing. Yeah, and then

1052
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 2: you're like a better turn it around.

1053
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 1: Look, you just don't know what you're going to get

1054
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 1: with me, But do you think don't put too much

1055
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 1: pressure on yourself. That's nicest thing I've ever said.

1056
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 2: I feel weird about I feel sick.

1057
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,760
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, so Matt, My question to you from

1058
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: the listeners, of course, tips for leaving the house with

1059
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: two kids solo.

1060
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:31,800
Speaker 2: Shit, it's a nightmare.

1061
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: It's painful. It is, especially on your own trying to

1062
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 1: like I think, put the most aggressive one in and

1063
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 1: strap them down first. Yes, that's step one, because like

1064
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:46,399
Speaker 1: you've got what usually one? If they're both crazy, we've

1065
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 1: got nothing for you.

1066
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 2: It's always hard, Like I mean, I can't think of

1067
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,880
Speaker 2: any situation where both kids are being like, do you

1068
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 2: know what?

1069
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:54,359
Speaker 1: I'm just going to get in the car.

1070
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 2: You look like you're a bit tired. I'll play ball.

1071
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I.

1072
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 2: Always, I always forget everything, so I have we talk

1073
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 2: about baby wipes such a critical critical component of parenting.

1074
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 1: You always forget them.

1075
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: So I always keep some in the car. I have

1076
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 2: someone like bags, I have some in the kitchen. They're

1077
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 2: like everywhere, So any situation, I'm always like within arm's

1078
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 2: reach of baby wipes. But then also I'm fortunate and

1079
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 2: that normally whenever I'm out of the house, I'm meeting

1080
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 2: up with a parent.

1081
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 1: Who's got their accurate supplies.

1082
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,240
Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, so like for example, my sister, Oh they'll

1083
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 2: have it.

1084
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, So then I run.

1085
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 2: For example, Monday, just gone, I rocked up. I didn't

1086
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 2: have any snacks. I had nothing. I had one water

1087
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 2: bottle that the kids would share. That's all I had,

1088
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,399
Speaker 2: and baby wipes. I was like, this is enough. Yeah,

1089
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,360
Speaker 2: And then my sister's there would like cut up fruit

1090
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 2: like snacks, dried fruit as well, just like smallest board

1091
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 2: of food.

1092
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: And so we were like, okay, I'll have some four.

1093
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 2: Kids have like barely even had break. Go towards your

1094
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: auntie daddy.

1095
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 1: We're hungry.

1096
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 2: Her kids, They're like, where's our food? Mum might just

1097
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 2: stuff in their face. So find another parent who's far

1098
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 2: more organized and just always meet up with them.

1099
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 1: They got the great advice. Actually, that's great advice. Look

1100
00:50:18,239 --> 00:50:22,360
Speaker 1: for me, I would say, yep, strapping in the wildest

1101
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: one first to whatever it is that you're strapping them

1102
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 1: to pram body car, three things, I don't know what

1103
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 1: else you strapped them to bus, and then once you've

1104
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 1: got the craziest one in the car, then pack the

1105
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:38,720
Speaker 1: bag the things you need.

1106
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, so do you because I sometimes

1107
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 2: do this? Will you put the kids in the car,

1108
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 2: lock them down first, and then pack the car second?

1109
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, leaving in the garage, garage, shupe the

1110
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: doors are open and they've got something they're playing with.

1111
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,760
Speaker 1: I'm going back and forth. Load in the car up anyway.

1112
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,879
Speaker 1: I think that's fair play. It was in the boiling cots,

1113
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't do that.

1114
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 2: Obviously, we're not going to do that. Yeah.

1115
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,400
Speaker 1: Sometimes what I'll do is like, like Macy be asleep,

1116
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 1: and I'll get everything in Oscar organized for when she's

1117
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 1: going to wake up, so I can go Oscar in

1118
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: the car. I'll go get Macy come down. Before Macy

1119
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 1: come to she's in the car and with left and.

1120
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 2: She's like, oh.

1121
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 1: Are we We're on the freeway. I think your advice

1122
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 1: is really good because yesterday we went to a friend's

1123
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: house and I was a day and I was like,

1124
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 1: I wasn't solo, but it was my idea to go

1125
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 1: to my friend's house, believe it or not. Strange and

1126
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, they have snacks up there. They wi, yeah,

1127
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:31,279
Speaker 1: that they've bought with their hard earned money. I don't

1128
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 1: want to waste my my stuff that I bought with

1129
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: my money. Did they Oh yeah, yeah, great, oscar straight

1130
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: in the but yeah, look at the nightmare. Figure it

1131
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 1: out safety and numbers, you'll figure it out.

1132
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 2: Surround yourself with other parents who are far better than you.

1133
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. And it's like if it was like

1134
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 1: going out or something and I've got both kids and

1135
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 1: all my friends are busy. I'm like, what are some

1136
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:57,879
Speaker 1: of your good mother friends doing?

1137
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 2: Them?

1138
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:02,799
Speaker 1: Over there? Just be like, yeah, I really like you this.

1139
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 2: What's the occasion? April's out? We're moving sadly, ash, that

1140
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 2: is all we have time for.

1141
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 1: I go so fast?

1142
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 2: Oh doesn't it just when you're having fun? Drink drinking

1143
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 2: a beer?

1144
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 1: Unemployed?

1145
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 2: Can I just say, April are so quiet upstairs?

1146
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 1: She's very hard work. She's sleeping well as I am

1147
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 1: here a time?

1148
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 2: What are you doing up there?

1149
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 1: She so fast? Can't hear as I am unemployed? She's

1150
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 1: up there making the bacon. Don't you dare get up

1151
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:37,360
Speaker 1: there and disturb it?

1152
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:39,919
Speaker 2: Before I went to the bathroom and I was like hey, April,

1153
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 2: she was.

1154
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 1: Like, fuck.

1155
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 2: Can I ask before we go? Does that mean that

1156
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,439
Speaker 2: given your unemployment status, so you're doing far more work

1157
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 2: with the kids. How is that how it's going to

1158
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:52,839
Speaker 2: work in this household? What's going to happen?

1159
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. It's all about me, not about them. No,

1160
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 1: look I'm gonna I'm going to take a leaf out

1161
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 1: of your book and have them on the Thursday, save

1162
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 1: a day on KINDI there.

1163
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 2: What we do on Thursdays.

1164
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 1: I'm just going to lock them in a room and

1165
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 1: get on with That's usually what dads do. I'll probably

1166
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 1: spend most of the down on the toilet. Let's be honest. Well,

1167
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 1: we can't both meet each other because neither although if

1168
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 1: two of us get together, we might have all the

1169
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:17,399
Speaker 1: supplies we need.

1170
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 2: We'll be rocking up and I'm like, do you have

1171
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 2: any Like, no, I don't have anything. Kids will be

1172
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 2: like dressed one shoe on. People will be looking at us, like,

1173
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,880
Speaker 2: what are those two fools?

1174
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:28,720
Speaker 1: They're doting?

1175
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:36,720
Speaker 2: Luckily for dads, the bar is so unfair.

1176
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 1: It's so good. You just got to be there.

1177
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally be there, physically.

1178
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 1: Be in the room, and it's like, everyone, look at

1179
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:46,439
Speaker 1: how good this dad is. Mum's really got to put

1180
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 1: up the hard yards to be judged, which sucks. On

1181
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,520
Speaker 1: that note, let's end, we will get out.

1182
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 2: Of here before we go there. If you do enjoy

1183
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,239
Speaker 2: this episode, or any episode of Two Doting.

1184
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,800
Speaker 1: Dads or all.

1185
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 2: One, we would love it if you gave us a review. Actually,

1186
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 2: our actually actually, I would actually love to know in

1187
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 2: the review if you tell us what your favorite episode was.

1188
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 2: To be fair, most of them involved like body and swearing.

1189
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,800
Speaker 1: As Matt has kindly pointed out my language.

1190
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:24,400
Speaker 2: I feel like we didn't swear as much in this episode.

1191
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 2: It will reach.

1192
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 1: There you go and get the numbers up.

1193
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 2: Also give us a followers well on Apple Podcasts, so

1194
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 2: then each week it'll be inserted directly into your podcast

1195
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 2: in box, every single week into your box. Yeah that

1196
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 2: was quiet. Sorry, it's been a while for me. And

1197
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 2: then also gives a follow at Two Dating Dads on

1198
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 2: Instagram as well. And that is it.

1199
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 1: That is us. Thank you as all.

1200
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 2: We will see you next week on a Wednesday. But

1201
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:07,240
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

1202
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

1203
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1204
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,840
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander

1205
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:20,760
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land