1 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:09,039 Speaker 1: This is The Happy Family's podcast. My name's doctor Justin Coulson. 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: Our children seem to just expect that we're going to 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,960 Speaker 1: know what to do, that we can help them, that 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: we can guide them, that we've got the magic words 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: every time something goes wrong, and as parents we often 6 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:21,240 Speaker 1: feel like we're not quite sure what to say, and 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: yet there's the expectation, the need to fix everything and 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: get it right. That's what we're talking about today with 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: Old Do Better Tomorrow and the Happy Families Podcast. Plus 10 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: one of the most major milestones nobody ever talks about. 11 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: We hit it this week and I can't wait to 12 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: tell you what it was and what we did. Stay 13 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: with us. Hello and welcome to The Happy Family's podcast, 14 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 1: Real Parenting Solutions Every Day. This is Australia's most downloaded 15 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: parenting podcast. We are Justin and Kylie Coulson and Kylie. 16 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: Every Friday, you and I have a chat about the 17 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: week that was, the stuff that worked, the stuff that didn't, 18 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: with the hope that we can be inspirational in some way, 19 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: shape or form to help families to be happier. Before 20 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: we do though, you had a funny conversation that you 21 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about on today's pod about a young 22 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: man and a telephone, and I think that we should 23 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: start there. 24 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 2: I think nearly every conversation I have with any parent 25 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 2: ends up or starts with a conversation around mobile. 26 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,680 Speaker 1: Phones, oh, kids and screens. 27 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 2: This is just so tricky for parents to navigate. 28 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: Do on my head in yeah. 29 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 2: But the other day I was chating with one of 30 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 2: my girlfriends and she mentioned that she had caught up 31 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 2: with some friends. They're part of a really great surfing 32 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 2: community here on the Sunshine Coast, and they had acknowledged 33 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 2: that as a group of parents, collectively, they've made a 34 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 2: pact with one another that they are not going to 35 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 2: buy their kids a mobile phone when they go into 36 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 2: high school. 37 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: That's the way to do it. You've got to build 38 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: the community. Otherwise the kids are like, whoeverone else can 39 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: do it. You've got to have the community. 40 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 2: Well, my friend's not part of that community. It's her 41 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 2: friends who are part of the community. And she was like, Oh, 42 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 2: good luck to you, Like, I so hope that you 43 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 2: can do this because it is just so hardh totally. 44 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 2: And then as the conversation continued, she was telling me 45 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,639 Speaker 2: that her youngest son had been pestering them to get 46 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 2: a mobile phone because he has two older sisters who 47 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 2: when they started high. 48 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,640 Speaker 1: School, they got the fo they got a phone. 49 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 2: Because they were catching a bus and mum and dad 50 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 2: wanted to make sure they were safe. 51 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: I'm just going to put this out there. It's not 52 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: a right of passage to go to high school and 53 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 1: therefore get a phone. At least wait until eighth grade, 54 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: ninth grade, something like that. You don't have to give 55 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: your kids a phone just because they're going to high 56 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: school and just because everyone else apparently is doing it 57 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 1: because they're not well. 58 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 2: They decided that they'd learned their lesson and they were 59 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 2: not bending the rules this time, and my parents they 60 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 2: were going to withhold that privilege for as long as 61 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 2: they could. And so her son kept badgering her and 62 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 2: telling her that he was the only kid in the 63 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: class that didn't have a mobile phone, and she was 64 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 2: feeling so bad and really really pressured. But she also 65 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: knew that there was one other kid in the class, 66 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 2: and she'd spoken to the parents and they were on 67 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: the same page and they had decided they weren't giving 68 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 2: this on a mobile phone. And she said, well, what 69 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 2: about so, and so, and he said, oh, no, he's 70 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 2: got one, and she's like, no way, there is no 71 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 2: way he's got one. Or she bumped into his mum 72 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 2: a few days later and she was like, oh, my 73 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 2: son tells me that your son's got a phone. And 74 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 2: she said, yeah, because my son told me that your 75 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 2: son's got one. 76 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: No, they've been They just totally worked their parents. That's 77 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 1: what they do. Well, let's talk about stuff and just 78 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: make sure that our parents don't talk and we'll be fine. 79 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 2: She literally looked at her and she said, no, we 80 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 2: talked about this. I'm not kidding my son a phone. 81 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 2: So now he is the only kid in the class 82 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 2: he doesn't have. 83 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: I didn't take the phone off them. Wow, you didn't 84 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: tell me the punchline when you were telling me the 85 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: story the other day. All right, so here's the deal. 86 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 2: Just such tricky stuff. 87 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: I mean, the conversation that we had on Wednesday with 88 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: doctor Brad Marshall about the impact of phones on every 89 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: aspect of kids' lives. If you haven't listened to that chat, 90 00:03:58,840 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: I think it's one of the best end of it 91 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: we've ever done on the Happy Families podcast. Definitely worth 92 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: a listen. Wednesday's conversation with doctor Brad Marshall. So glad 93 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: you shared that story. Build the community, Build the community, 94 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: Build the community. In a couple of weeks time, I'm 95 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: going to be on the border of New South Wales 96 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,600 Speaker 1: and Victoria at a spot called Mohamma or Mohamma moamma. 97 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to everyone living Ina who's listening right 98 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: now because they've got a phone pledge event happening. They're 99 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: trying to get the entire community on board with this, 100 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,280 Speaker 1: and that is the way to do it. Anyway. Old 101 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: about it tomorrow is not meant to be about other 102 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: people's stories. It's meant to be about our stories. Last week, 103 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,280 Speaker 1: our kids, our kids listened to the podcast. I didn't 104 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: know this. They listened independently on their own phone to 105 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: this podcast, and we got in trouble because we didn't 106 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: tell us stories. We made it all about us and 107 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: about reviews that have come through. Oh, by the way, 108 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: not going to read them, but we've got a couple 109 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: of five star reviews as a result of last week's 110 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 1: conversation about reviews. If you like the pod, we love 111 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: your five star reviews. Thank you. But this is where 112 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: we reflect on what we got right or wrong. And 113 00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:01,239 Speaker 1: this week we had a very emotional teenager who spoke 114 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: with you, what's your old do better tomorrow? 115 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 2: One of our daughters has been on school camp, which 116 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 2: doesn't leave too many daughters to choose from. 117 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,359 Speaker 1: So it was the one that was on a school camp. 118 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: There we go, but she. 119 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,279 Speaker 2: Rang me on day two and she doesn't usually bring 120 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 2: me from camp, so I knew that something was up 121 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 2: straight away. But she was a little bit chirpy, and 122 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: I kind of just, you know, answered her questions. But 123 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 2: as the conversation continued, I noticed a definite shift in 124 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 2: her mood and her demeanor, and she said, Mum, I'm 125 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 2: just having a really hard time. And so then she 126 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 2: started to share some of the struggles that she was having, 127 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 2: and in my heart, I was kind of getting a 128 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 2: little bit of anxiety because I know that this experience 129 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 2: for her is challenging. She's on a school camp with 130 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 2: multiple campuses coming together. She's the only kid from her campus, 131 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 2: she has no teachers from her campus there. 132 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: So when you think about relatedness as a basic psychological need, 133 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: she's in an environment where related needs are not going 134 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: to be easily supported because there are no. Relationships really 135 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: tricky and if she can't gel, then it makes it 136 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 1: even harder to be on that camp. This is why 137 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 1: we make such a big deal about these basic psychological 138 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 1: needs needs support. Need satisfaction increases wellbeing and motivation. Need frustration, 139 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: need thwarting reduces motivation and wellbeing. 140 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 2: She loves the work that she's doing, but it's also 141 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 2: stretching her physically. She's getting up at about three point 142 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 2: thirty each morning so that she can muck out stables 143 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,359 Speaker 2: and work with horses, and it's all day, like she's 144 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 2: relentless all day. And so she continued to get more 145 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 2: and more worked up as she shared things with me, 146 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, there was just this 147 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 2: shift and she said, Mum, I know I'm going to 148 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 2: be okay. I've got through harder things than this. She said, 149 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 2: I just needed to hear voice today, and I'm just 150 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 2: so proud of this kid. But what it also helped 151 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,279 Speaker 2: me recognize is that I don't actually have to have 152 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 2: all the answers. She just needed to know. Like the 153 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 2: last thing she said to me is thanks for picking up. 154 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 2: That was the gold standard for Tuesday that I picked 155 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 2: up the phone. I didn't say anything wise. I didn't 156 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 2: didn't make anything better. 157 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: Didn't do any emotion coaching, didn't do any gentle parenting, 158 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: didn't do any problem solving. 159 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: I just listened. I literally just listened, and that was enough. 160 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: It's great. Take our message after the break, the magic 161 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 1: milestone that everybody should celebrate, but nobody's thought of before 162 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: we made it happen. This week, I'll tell you more 163 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 1: in just a second. 164 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,239 Speaker 2: You know you're extra right. 165 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 1: You know I am extra So here's the details. Thanks 166 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: so much for hanging in there while we do our 167 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: older better tomorrow. My old better tomorrow is not so 168 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,679 Speaker 1: much about parenting. It's about husbanding and why. It's about 169 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: being a strong couple. This is something that we talk 170 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: about on the pod from time to time, and I 171 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: just don't think it gets enough emphasis. We get so 172 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: worried about the kids sometimes we forget the relationship that 173 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: matters most, which is the if you're fortunate enough to 174 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: be in a married a partner relationship, it's the relationship 175 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: that you share with your significant other. So here's the background. 176 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: Earlier this year, as we were coming up to our 177 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: twenty seventh anniversary, I started playing around with the numbers 178 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: in my head on like twenty seven years, three hundred 179 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: and sixty five days. I did some quick sums and 180 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: I was like, m, that sounds like it's gott to 181 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 1: be in the nine thousands. It might have been getting 182 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: close to ten thousand days. And so I jumped into 183 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: ai because I wasn't going to do the calculations and 184 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: work out the leap years. And I put out our 185 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: wedding date in and I put that date in, and 186 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: I said how many days has it been? Turns out 187 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: it'd been nine thy eight hundred and something days. My 188 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: mouth was good, and then I thought, you know what, 189 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: ten thousand days is a big deal. I wonder what 190 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 1: date that will be. And this week we had our 191 00:08:55,720 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: ten thousand day wedding anniversary for ten thousand days. One 192 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: of the days this week, it was on Tuesday, and 193 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: so I booked us a special event. You and I 194 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: went hot air ballooning and had a house this. Let's 195 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: celebrate the day by waking up at four point thirty 196 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: driving for an hour in the freezing cold, climbing into 197 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: a hot air balloon with a bunch of strangers. It 198 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: was great Sunshine Coast ballooning. I'm giving them a plug 199 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: that they didn't pay for it. It's not a sponsored 200 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 1: post or anything. But we just had such a great morning. 201 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: It was serene, it was calm, I would say it was. 202 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: It was quite blissful. 203 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 2: Obviously, you have the burst of hot air going up 204 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 2: and so that creates noise, but outside of that, I 205 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 2: was actually blown away. 206 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: Literally you're in a balloon. You're blown away. I love it. 207 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,959 Speaker 1: See what you did there. It didn't even mean it. 208 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 2: It was so quiet. Yeah, it was so quiet, and 209 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:56,719 Speaker 2: I didn't expect it to be so smooth, like, because. 210 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: You're just going with the wind, so you don't feel 211 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: you're just moving, and it doesn't. I feel like if 212 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: you weren't watching, you wouldn't know you were moving. 213 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 2: No, no, And there was no like, there was no movement. 214 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,960 Speaker 1: So it was a real tree. It was a real tree. 215 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: But the main thing that I want to emphasize is 216 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: if you want to have a strong family, if you 217 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: want to have happy kids, having a great relationship with 218 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: your husband, wife, partner, spouse, it makes a huge difference. 219 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: And finding ways to celebrate one another and to celebrate 220 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: the relationship that you share is wonderful. 221 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 2: It's just such a crazy ways to make an excuse 222 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 2: to celebrate. 223 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean maybe maybe we will have 224 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: a celebration for the ten thousand, seven hundred and forty 225 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 1: third day as well, just because it's really nice to 226 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 1: do that stuff. Oh, that's a couple of years away. 227 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: I think we should do it sooner than that. I'd 228 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: do better tomorrow is how can you celebrate one another. 229 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be hot, air ballooning. It doesn't 230 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: even have to be expensive. It could be a flower 231 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,440 Speaker 1: that you pick out of the garden on the way 232 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 1: in the door. It might be picking up your speaking. 233 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,080 Speaker 1: I guess I'm speaking to the men. Maybe women like 234 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 1: to pick up their men as well. I don't know. 235 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: It might be picking up your partner and swinging them 236 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: around the room something that we haven't done for us, 237 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: dancing in the kitchen. Dancing in the kitchen, well, you 238 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: could make me dinner tonight. That's a deal. That's a deal. Anyway. 239 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,479 Speaker 1: That's my old about it tomorrow. Find ways to celebrate 240 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: and just love, love and show that you love your husband, wife, spouse, partner. 241 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: It was a real treat to do that. I do 242 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,199 Speaker 1: have other older a better Tomorrow's about our kids, and 243 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 1: I kind of want to share them, but I'm going 244 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: to get in trouble for going for too long by 245 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: the kids who say that if we talk too much 246 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: it gets us in trouble, but they do like hearing 247 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: their names. I'm going to share two really quick stories 248 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: in thirty seconds. I know you're pulling a face at me, 249 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,680 Speaker 1: but I'm going to do it anyway. My podcast, My rules. 250 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: The same daughter. I rang her the next day and 251 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 1: she had a little cry with me as well, and 252 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: then said, but I've got it, and again I didn't 253 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: have any solutions. I was like, okay, forty eight hours 254 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: to go. I believe in you. You got this. And 255 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 1: another one of our daughters who was having a really 256 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: rough time before an exam, I don't know if I 257 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: got this one right. I said, you just have to 258 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: go tough enough. It's futile to argue with it. Stop 259 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: being a worry what stop being anxious. I don't care 260 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 1: if you get zero. It actually doesn't matter. You just 261 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: need to go and do the exam and then the 262 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: school tod of this. You have to do it. So 263 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 1: I just looked like the big bad parent. Anyway, take 264 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,839 Speaker 1: our message, love, don't have to have all the answers. 265 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,319 Speaker 1: Even if you do have answers, you're probably going to 266 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: be wrong. 267 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 2: You're painting this beautiful picture. I just love it. 268 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: But this is live. I'm actually saying it to highlight 269 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,079 Speaker 1: we're the pairing experts, right. I've written the books, We've 270 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 1: done all this stuff for the last twenty five years 271 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: with our own kids. You don't have to have all 272 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: the answers. You just have to love each other. I 273 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: love those kids, and I was there for them to 274 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 1: have the conversations. I'm crazy about you, absolutely mad about you, 275 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: and made a celebration of an anniversary that I don't 276 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: I've never seen this. I have've never heard anyone else talk 277 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 1: about that ten thousandth day. We should wrap this up. 278 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 1: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland from 279 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: Bridge Media. Mim Hammond's provides admin research and additional support, 280 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: and if you'd like more resources to make your family happier, 281 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: you can find them all at happy families dot com 282 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: dot au. Have a great weekend, find ways to connect, 283 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 1: find ways to love, and we'll talk to you again 284 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:06,959 Speaker 1: on Monday.