WEBVTT - MINI: Rate Your Weekend

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<v Speaker 2>of Being Yourself. And now today's show.

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<v Speaker 1>Enjoy. The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Every Monday, we ask you about your weekends. We ask

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<v Speaker 2>you to rate it out of five. So tell us

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<v Speaker 2>about your weekend. Text me 0475.

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<v Speaker 1>03-1043. Patsy's, what's yours out of five?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm afraid it's a one out of five again this week.

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<v Speaker 3>Big parent fail for me, like L on my forehead.

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<v Speaker 3>So we had the Sandy School production at the weekend

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<v Speaker 3>of The Addams Family, which Audrey loves her theatre, just

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<v Speaker 3>loves it. Anyway, they need to take a big tub

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<v Speaker 3>with a lid just so they can keep all their

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<v Speaker 3>junk and stuff together backstage. It's actually a really good system.

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<v Speaker 3>So I had to go to Kmart and get a

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<v Speaker 3>new tub. 15-litre size is what the teachers wanted. Well,

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<v Speaker 3>that sold out. It's like all the parents had gone.

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<v Speaker 4>And gone on.

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<v Speaker 2>There'd been a rush on backstage drama tubs.

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<v Speaker 3>So the next size up was 50 that I could get.

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<v Speaker 3>And I thought, well, that looks reasonable, but I couldn't

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<v Speaker 3>find a lid to match. Why would they have a

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<v Speaker 3>tub but no lids? And I thought, well, that's not

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<v Speaker 3>practical because I like to stack them and stuff. So

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<v Speaker 3>I had to go up to like 120 litres.

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<v Speaker 4>So ten times more than they are.

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<v Speaker 1>Which is like the.

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<v Speaker 3>Size of a garden shed.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>And I thought, well.

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<v Speaker 1>You could fit some bikes in there and a car.

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<v Speaker 4>The kid. The kid. All of the kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Chuck the kids in.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's all I could get was this massive, massive one.

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<v Speaker 3>So she had to go on the bus to the theatre.

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<v Speaker 1>Not with that great big thing.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, with the thing. And it was so bad.

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<v Speaker 3>So my husband took her, you know, the school drop

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<v Speaker 3>off on the bus and the bus goes out to

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<v Speaker 3>the theatre. The bus driver had to get off the bus,

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<v Speaker 3>open up the luggage compartment.

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<v Speaker 1>Shove it in underneath.

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<v Speaker 4>And shove it in underneath.

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<v Speaker 1>Fantastic.

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<v Speaker 4>I was so embarrassed. And backstage, it's so tight. There's

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<v Speaker 4>not much space normally.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not really backstage. It's just a room, isn't it?

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<v Speaker 1>It is. It's a classroom.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>So here was her tub with all the little tubs.

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<v Speaker 4>She said, I was so embarrassed.

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<v Speaker 2>We should do something about over last night. I had

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<v Speaker 2>to go to Kmart the weekend. And I needed to

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<v Speaker 2>get another pen for this puppy. So this puppy is

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<v Speaker 2>a Norfolk Terrier. It's a tiny little puppy, just about

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<v Speaker 2>bigger than the palm of your hand. However, I completely

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<v Speaker 2>got the wrong size. I came back with a pen

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<v Speaker 2>that I could fit your dog in a wolf.

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<v Speaker 4>Give her the horse stable or something.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, actually, my wife and I could hide in the

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<v Speaker 2>pen from this hyperactive easy playpen. That's my story. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>sticking to it, Anko. Rio, rate your weekend out of five.

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<v Speaker 4>I put mine right down the middle. There was some good,

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<v Speaker 4>there was some bad. Finally, after eight, sorry, finally, after

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<v Speaker 4>six months, my couch has finally come.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, just now?

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<v Speaker 4>Just now. It took so, so long.

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<v Speaker 1>Has it come from the Strait of Hormuz? No, no, nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>Shout out to the Strait of Hormuz.

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<v Speaker 4>Throwback. Nothing takes longer to make in this world than

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<v Speaker 4>a couch. Yeah, you're right. It wasn't a fancy couch.

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<v Speaker 4>It was straight out of the brochure. And every part

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<v Speaker 4>of the couch buying process sucks. We went there six

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<v Speaker 4>months ago. I remember they wheeled out this double-decker trolley of,

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<v Speaker 4>what are they called?

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<v Speaker 1>The different fabric, the swatches? Oh, swatches, yes. Oh, my God.

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<v Speaker 3>And this was a boat of contention because the colour

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<v Speaker 3>was different for you guys.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so we've got- So did you go for the Noosa,

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<v Speaker 1>the Sorrento?

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<v Speaker 4>No, so we actually didn't go to Freedom this time.

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<v Speaker 4>We went to another company who I won't name because.

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<v Speaker 1>They didn't give you a discount?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, the lady, okay, she must have looked at us

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<v Speaker 4>like suckers because she convinced us to get, she said,

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<v Speaker 4>you guys will definitely need, get the installation because this

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<v Speaker 4>one's actually really complicated.

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<v Speaker 1>And we're like, you sure? So are we getting an

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<v Speaker 1>L-shaped or is it modular?

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<v Speaker 3>Modular.

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<v Speaker 4>We actually went. It's a modular, but it's a circular head,

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<v Speaker 4>I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>What you doing? A chat show there? Graham Norton set.

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<v Speaker 1>You got a big red chair to go with it.

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<v Speaker 4>It's a bit boogie night. It's kind of like a mess.

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<v Speaker 4>They're all the rage, though.

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<v Speaker 3>They look great.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like a big love seat.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes. Is this how gay guys do it, Pats? Excuse me,

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<v Speaker 1>where's the gay furniture?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, you just want to go.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And dummy, you'll need installation because you've got no idea

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<v Speaker 3>how to.

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<v Speaker 4>Put it together. So $ 250 extra for installation. You're kidding me.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, I don't think we need to. And

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<v Speaker 4>she said, no, no, no, it's quite complicated. Just look,

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<v Speaker 4>you'll be glad you got it.

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<v Speaker 1>Surely if it's a semicircle, is it like a horseshoe?

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<v Speaker 4>A full circle and a rectangle. So it's like a horseshoe.

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<v Speaker 1>That literally froze to show. Anything to do with physics,

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<v Speaker 1>we get scared.

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<v Speaker 4>We got a circle and then we got like a runway.

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<v Speaker 1>It can't be a circle. How do you get in it?

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<v Speaker 4>What do you mean how do you get in it?

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<v Speaker 1>It's a circle. Where do you walk in to sit down?

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<v Speaker 1>You jump into it?

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<v Speaker 4>You just go in it. You just walk up to

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<v Speaker 4>it and you lie on it.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you mean? It's not a circle. There's a

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<v Speaker 1>gap in the circle.

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<v Speaker 3>It's moon shaped.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Crescent.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's a full circle.

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<v Speaker 4>It's a full circle with a rectangular runway leading into

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<v Speaker 4>the circle.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, so it's a broken circle.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know what you guys think a circle is.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you what. This is a circle, a continuous loop.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>All right. So how do you enter the circle of seating?

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<v Speaker 4>That's how it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's not. That's a lollipop. Lollipop.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, but there is a circle.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyway, anyway, anyway.

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<v Speaker 4>Where do you put that in the room?

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<v Speaker 3>It doesn't go in a corner.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>It is sort of towards the corner. Yeah. No, it's

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<v Speaker 4>in a corner, but it juts out. I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>You got stitched up. No wonder it's taken six months.

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<v Speaker 1>You know why? The people putting it together are laughing.

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<v Speaker 1>In a factory going, tell me again.

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<v Speaker 4>They've ordered this? It's actually very chic. It's very chic.

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<v Speaker 3>We'll have to take your word for it, I think.

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<v Speaker 4>They come. They come on Sunday to deliver it.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, they'll charge you more because it's Sunday.

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<v Speaker 4>And Sunday, yeah. Literally took them 10 seconds to put together.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course it does. You just clip them together. It

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<v Speaker 1>just clips together. We could have done that. We've done

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<v Speaker 1>the modulus. It's fiddly. It's a pain, but it's okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Literally, maybe not five seconds. They just went, kook, kook.

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<v Speaker 2>These days, you could have taken a photo of all

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<v Speaker 2>the separate bits and asked AI, how do I put

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<v Speaker 2>this together?

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<v Speaker 4>The AI would have said, it's one step. Push it together.

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<v Speaker 4>How many people....

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<v Speaker 1>Have actually fallen for that installation for furniture.

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<v Speaker 4>I reckon so many, because this was, you could tell

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<v Speaker 4>she'd been around the block for a while. Like she'd

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<v Speaker 4>been there and she- I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Want to sound like my dad here, but this is

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<v Speaker 1>how they get you.

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<v Speaker 4>This is how they get you.

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<v Speaker 1>My dad was right. That cash raise, hand it down.

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<v Speaker 1>It's true though. It is all these extended warranties.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, yes.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know you're a sucker for the- The Leather Guard,

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<v Speaker 1>what it's called. The Leatherman, what it's called.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it's the Leatherman. No, that's a different thing. It

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<v Speaker 2>came with that playpen at the weekend.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Five out of five weekend though for me. What's

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<v Speaker 1>it called? Scotchgard.

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<v Speaker 4>Scotchgard.

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<v Speaker 1>I always get that. You'll love this.

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<v Speaker 2>So I did have to use it a couple of

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<v Speaker 2>months ago and it took like six weeks for the

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<v Speaker 2>guy to come out and zero banter. It was like

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<v Speaker 2>we hired an assassin. He was so focused on that.

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<v Speaker 2>And I actually said, I was kind of curious to

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<v Speaker 2>what you do and what you use. Actually, it's a

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<v Speaker 2>private IP. You prefer it if you didn't hang around.

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<v Speaker 4>Really?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>John Fabric. What is he?

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. And so how does it look?

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<v Speaker 4>It looks great. We love it.

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<v Speaker 1>Can we see some photos? I'll be honest. On behalf

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<v Speaker 1>of everyone listening right now, it sounds awful.

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<v Speaker 4>Come on.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just going to come out and say it.

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<v Speaker 2>Perhaps it's being too polite, but I'm telling you that

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<v Speaker 2>it sounds hideous.

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<v Speaker 4>In two years' time.

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<v Speaker 3>What's the burgundy bit?

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<v Speaker 4>We're just tracking that on for now. But ignore the throw.

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<v Speaker 1>It looks like an old sort of porn set.

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<v Speaker 4>It does.

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<v Speaker 1>What are you filming? What are you making there?

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<v Speaker 4>It's versatile. Hey, secondary incomes in this economy.

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<v Speaker 1>Modular is the way forward. Modular living. All right, rate

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<v Speaker 1>your weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you own commission over the weekend selling more to

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<v Speaker 2>suckers like Rio that you're going to need $ 250 worth

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<v Speaker 2>of installation for a circular couch?

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<v Speaker 1>The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.