Speaker 1: Well hallai, I'm back. Yes.
Speaker 2: And if you thought we don't cover every strange, peculiar
Speaker 2: and eccentric wido, oh, you'd be oh so wrong. I've
Speaker 2: been working so hard to uncover the little secrets and
Speaker 2: strange things people are keeping concealed from the world, or
Speaker 2: even concealed from me. So strap in and strap on
Speaker 2: because things might get a little naughty.
Speaker 3: Ah.
Speaker 2: This is concealed with art simone, and I'm art Simone.
Speaker 1: Duh. Let's meet our guests. Roll thata do it.
Speaker 3: Hi. My name is Renee. I have lived in Melbourne
Speaker 3: since nineteen ninety eight, when I immigrated here from the
Speaker 3: US to marry my internet love. I work as a
Speaker 3: bus US this analyst on large scale IT projects and
Speaker 3: business improvement projects. I manage a registered charity I started
Speaker 3: in twenty fifteen and I'm currently building a new consulting business.
Speaker 3: I have one daughter, who came with me from the
Speaker 3: States and whom I'm very proud of. My interests in
Speaker 3: hobbies are wide and varied, ranging from an extensive library
Speaker 3: to a fishing coral marine tank, to visit historical sites
Speaker 3: and traveling. I also like home crafts, make my own curtains,
Speaker 3: put together booknooks and new cross stitch. But I'm concealing
Speaker 3: another part of my life that some may consider quite dangerous.
Speaker 1: How every day? How are you good?
Speaker 2: I loving to meet you. Thanks for coming into the
Speaker 2: studio today. Now we've never met before. Let me describe you,
Speaker 2: all right. We've got a beautiful nights. I'd say business
Speaker 2: chik blazer on and ie broach Ooh.
Speaker 1: That's very fancy that.
Speaker 3: It's my grandmother's.
Speaker 1: Oh. I love that. We've got some pearls, but they're
Speaker 1: like dark.
Speaker 3: Pels, because yeah, dark, that's my thing.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to pick them it so right, beautiful, all right,
Speaker 2: nice tim short hair, spectacular spectacles. Now I have to
Speaker 2: check are they prescription?
Speaker 3: They are?
Speaker 1: Oh good? All right, all right, I'll just check.
Speaker 2: Because sometimes people come in here and they try to
Speaker 2: fool me with the disguise. I don't want that to
Speaker 2: be you today.
Speaker 3: No, I never disguised myself.
Speaker 2: And you are slightly shorter because we have just had
Speaker 2: a bit of a struggle trying to get you up
Speaker 2: onto the studio chair today.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
Speaker 2: You know, I've got to pick it up, all right,
Speaker 2: So a bit of background. So you move to your
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety eight for a lover an internet love I did.
Speaker 1: Oh can you tell me about that chat room? Yes?
Speaker 3: We talked for about eight months. He flew me over here,
Speaker 3: spent two weeks here, got engaged, kicked off the immigration
Speaker 3: visa before I went home, waited five months, it came through,
Speaker 3: and four weeks later my daughter and I were in Australia.
Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness, loved good story.
Speaker 3: Six months later I got married.
Speaker 1: And are you still together? We are?
Speaker 3: Not six years?
Speaker 1: Six and a half years, though, that's pretty good.
Speaker 3: It was a pretty good.
Speaker 1: And you said I'm going to stick around though.
Speaker 3: Oh absolutely, I'm a citizen. I renounced my US citizenship
Speaker 3: in twenty eighteen.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're stuck with me. I'm running for prime
Speaker 3: minister years.
Speaker 2: Okay, people, business analysts, Is that what you said?
Speaker 1: Yes? What is that?
Speaker 3: Nobody knows? No, no, not even us. And we we
Speaker 3: just sort to do everything we get on these projects
Speaker 3: and then we tell people what we think they need
Speaker 3: to know and what you do, and we document things
Speaker 3: and we don't actually do a lot of work.
Speaker 1: Well, someone has to do it. I think one has
Speaker 1: to do it. And amazed. I'll be you. You have
Speaker 1: a lot of interests. I do you like to do
Speaker 1: a lot of things? I get bored easy, Yes, the lot.
Speaker 2: I've stopped writing them down because there were so many.
Speaker 2: How do you how do you keep up with all
Speaker 2: of those things?
Speaker 3: I don't always.
Speaker 1: I love that though. I love that.
Speaker 3: I got to retire soon so I can do all
Speaker 3: the things I'm interested in.
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay.
Speaker 2: So now I'm gonna ask you three questions, okay, and
Speaker 2: from the answers to the three questions, plus with the
Speaker 2: bit of the background info, I'm going to try and
Speaker 2: work out what it is that you were concealing from me.
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2: Question number one, what would you call your autobiography?
Speaker 3: Well, I actually have one in progress because I also write.
Speaker 3: I couldn't put everything down. I actually have about three
Speaker 3: books in progress, but this one's called going Bold Bold
Speaker 3: or bald Bold. So I had my head shaped for
Speaker 3: charity some years ago and found it to be a
Speaker 3: very difficult thing. It actually was the scariest thing I
Speaker 3: ever did, to be honest, which was sort of surprised me.
Speaker 3: So it was for the Lukemia Foundation. It was a
Speaker 3: business thing and So my book is about taking risks
Speaker 3: and how to really live a full life. You know,
Speaker 3: you need to get out there, you need to take
Speaker 3: some risks. You need to throw yourself sometimes into situations
Speaker 3: that scare you a situations you don't know the outcome
Speaker 3: if you're really going to have an exciting and interesting
Speaker 3: life going.
Speaker 1: So I feel every time I take a week.
Speaker 3: Off, I hated it.
Speaker 2: Okay, Question number two, what's an unusual thing that you
Speaker 2: have in your house?
Speaker 3: Well, I have a lot of unusual things, you can bet.
Speaker 3: But one of my favorites that people don't seem to
Speaker 3: appreciate is a picture that I picked up from the
Speaker 3: Men on Men exhibition at the Laired called Pancake Daddy.
Speaker 3: And is this really big older guy, yes, who's stark naked.
Speaker 3: He's laying on a stack of pancakes. Is that strawberries
Speaker 3: in the background. He's pouring syrup over himself, you know,
Speaker 3: and he's looking out like he's been discovered, and he
Speaker 3: just he looks so happy, but he also looks so like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, people are looking at me kind of thing.
Speaker 3: And my partner and I just absolutely adore it. And
Speaker 3: see my kitchen, So you can't really miss.
Speaker 2: It, but that would make me appetised. Should we eat
Speaker 2: in the kitchen? That would be true.
Speaker 1: I'd walk and be like, oh I'm hungry. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, Okay.
Speaker 2: And the third, where is the strangest place you've fallen
Speaker 2: a slip?
Speaker 1: Well? I did.
Speaker 3: It's the strangest, but it's probably the worst place I
Speaker 3: ever fell asleep. I used to have a beautiful little
Speaker 3: Silver MX five that I was my pride and enjoyed.
Speaker 3: And it's a sports car. It's a convertible. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: a little convertible that you really should go up there. Great,
Speaker 3: it's a musta musta car. And uh yeah, So I
Speaker 3: used to drive it a lot, like all the time,
Speaker 3: and I used to go to parties a fair amount
Speaker 3: when I was a few years younger. And I guess
Speaker 3: I was getting older because it was one o three
Speaker 3: am coming back from a health fire party and I
Speaker 3: kind of ran into a tree and totaled it as
Speaker 3: I fell asleep away from.
Speaker 1: It. Was a bit of a party girl. Oh what
Speaker 1: can I say?
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, God, I mean, I've got lots of
Speaker 2: things in my head after all of this, but enough
Speaker 2: they come together in a beautiful clear pitcher that can
Speaker 2: hang in your kitchen.
Speaker 1: All right? So nat and audio going bald? Didn't like that?
Speaker 2: Raise money leukemia pancake, Oh, sexy man on pancake, Oh yummy,
Speaker 2: falling asleep. I had a nap in a master beautiful car,
Speaker 2: but on the way back from a hell fire party.
Speaker 2: All right, So there's lots of fun things going out, okay,
Speaker 2: and crosstitch, Oh what is that pained for you? I
Speaker 2: don't know's it's okay? And I are you a dominatrix close?
Speaker 3: I'm a polyamorous, pan sexual, sadistic leather master who also
Speaker 3: lived for a number of years as a full time
Speaker 3: slave in a master slave relationship. I earned my cover
Speaker 3: in twenty nineteen after twenty one years of actively practicing bbsm.
Speaker 1: Oh Man, well done. We have a lot to go in.
Speaker 1: I'm excited about that.
Speaker 2: I'm going to give myself a pattern the back for
Speaker 2: that one, because I don't think I would have got
Speaker 2: that so specific.
Speaker 4: Ah, I'm going to take this one as a win.
Speaker 4: I got a right, yes, oh, Renee. We have so
Speaker 4: much to find out to do a leather master. Ah,
Speaker 4: hydrids leather weather.
Speaker 1: I'll go get.
Speaker 2: Mine all right, So we are here with Renee, who
Speaker 2: I got it pretty close, may not be a dominatrix,
Speaker 2: but is a leather master amongst a whole amount of other.
Speaker 1: Things as well.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, let's let's go back to the basics.
Speaker 2: To be a leather master, you have to be part
Speaker 2: of the BDSM community. Can you tell me what BDSM is?
Speaker 3: So. BDSM is an acronym that came out in the
Speaker 3: nineteen nineties to basically expand what was originally S and M,
Speaker 3: which is cetamasochism. But it's a bit more than that,
Speaker 3: so that sounds for bondage discipline cetamasochism, and the DS
Speaker 3: can also stand for dominance and submission, which is power exchange,
Speaker 3: so more the emotional side of things. And it's everything
Speaker 3: from a lifestyle for some people to just a set
Speaker 3: of activities. Some people's just a bedroom thing. Some people
Speaker 3: it extends beyond that. Some people it's sexual, some people
Speaker 3: it's not. So it's actually really deep and complicated and
Speaker 3: has a long history, like eighty to ninety years of
Speaker 3: history actually, which most people don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess it's not like simply black and white
Speaker 2: or one set of rules that apply to every single situation.
Speaker 3: Right, No, No, absolutely not. The thing about BDSM is
Speaker 3: that while we can have some general principles that we
Speaker 3: say we apply and we say we apply broadly, it's
Speaker 3: an individual thing. So anyone can actually do anything they want.
Speaker 3: You know, if you spank your partner in the bedroom,
Speaker 3: you're basically doing BDSM, whether anyone knows it or not.
Speaker 3: Or you might be out at clubs, you might be
Speaker 3: out at munches, which are social gatherings, you might be
Speaker 3: running a business off of it. It's so wide and
Speaker 3: so varied and so personal that you can't really, you know,
Speaker 3: put it in a box and say it's just one
Speaker 3: or two different things.
Speaker 1: Now, how did you get involved into this world?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: How did it happen?
Speaker 3: By accident? Kind of? I had an internet relationship fall
Speaker 3: apart in nineteen ninety six December in nineteen ninety six,
Speaker 3: I was really upset and a friend of mine on
Speaker 3: the internet. She said, come to these chat rooms with me.
Speaker 3: You know, they'll divert you. So I went. One of
Speaker 3: it was called Torture Chamber and the other one was
Speaker 3: called Submission.
Speaker 1: And you said, oh okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: I went in and she said, oh, oh, we have
Speaker 3: to give you another name, oh, you know, and a
Speaker 3: little bird and I was a little bird for years.
Speaker 3: And I went in there and I said, Hugh, you
Speaker 3: guys are really weird and I'm not like you, which
Speaker 3: is really ironic now because my whole life has been
Speaker 3: around that since. But yeah, it took a little while.
Speaker 3: But they were lovely, lovely people, and they didn't care
Speaker 3: what I thought of them, and they just said, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's okay. You know you want to hang around, go ahead,
Speaker 3: you don't want to hang around.
Speaker 1: Leave So then you started in this chat room world,
Speaker 1: and then how did you kind of branch off to
Speaker 1: then what you do now, you know, or like in person?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. And they like to say this because
Speaker 3: a lot of people say, oh, if you're not doing
Speaker 3: things in real life, you know, you're not really doing them,
Speaker 3: especially now there's a lot of things about doing things
Speaker 3: on the internet. But I made a lot of friendships,
Speaker 3: a lot of relationships on the Internet that translated to
Speaker 3: real life at some point. And so I spent about
Speaker 3: five months playing around internet, six phone, six different relationships,
Speaker 3: got some training from a guy in Seattle, and although
Speaker 3: we didn't meet until later, and all kinds of things,
Speaker 3: and after five months, I said, you know, I need
Speaker 3: to see what this is really like. So I was
Speaker 3: involved at that time with a cross dressing dominant in
Speaker 3: New York and I lived in Montana, which is wait
Speaker 3: far away, and he sent me a ticket and I
Speaker 3: went spent a week with him, and after about three
Speaker 3: days he said, nothing has to happen, and that was fine.
Speaker 3: But after about three days something just sparked and we
Speaker 3: got into it and it blew my mind and I
Speaker 3: just never looked back. From there. I said, this is
Speaker 3: my place, this is my people, this is what I needed,
Speaker 3: This what I've been missing in my life. And I
Speaker 3: came home and it was like, no, I have to
Speaker 3: pursue this. So a year later I moved to Australia,
Speaker 3: but I'd already met online the people here in the
Speaker 3: community because they had their own chat rooms here called
Speaker 3: Ospedism doesn't exist anymore. And so when I got here,
Speaker 3: I was vetted by four women for two hours sake
Speaker 3: sat together with me, talked with me, figured out who
Speaker 3: I was, my ideas, my attitudes, what I knew, and
Speaker 3: then they said, okay, you're all right, come to the
Speaker 3: club on this night.
Speaker 1: Wow. Really yeah?
Speaker 3: And I wait. My husband and I at the time,
Speaker 3: we walked down an alley to a roller door.
Speaker 1: Roller door went.
Speaker 5: Up, big guys standing under a ball, you know, like
Speaker 5: who are you? And then and then Belinda came out
Speaker 5: and chained and nothing else and said, oh, they're with
Speaker 5: me and that was our birthday party, and well be
Speaker 5: bopped in and from then on, you know, we were accepted
Speaker 5: into the community and invited to various things.
Speaker 2: So would you say the community is quite protective of
Speaker 2: each other and themselves in terms of who they let
Speaker 2: in to make sure they're the right fit or the
Speaker 2: right vibe or what's that like?
Speaker 3: Well, this is the problem. There was a place called
Speaker 3: fet Life that came in almost ten years ago, I
Speaker 3: guess now, And when we went on there, we thought
Speaker 3: it was great because they had cleared out all the
Speaker 3: chat rooms. The owners had come and stripped out all
Speaker 3: the sex channels and the BDSM channels and we couldn't
Speaker 3: meet there anymore, so we didn't have an online place
Speaker 3: to go to. So we thought this was great, and
Speaker 3: it was for a while, but because it was an
Speaker 3: open forum and they wanted more people on and because
Speaker 3: people started advertising events openly, we got flooded. We got
Speaker 3: flooded and flooded and flooded, and we're still flooded. We
Speaker 3: have thousands of people entering every year. Yeah, and that's
Speaker 3: driven a lot of people underground.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 3: When I came in, Yeah, you had to be on
Speaker 3: the list, you had to be known, you had to
Speaker 3: have certain underlying principles that you accepted and agreed to
Speaker 3: and worked with. We were very protective of each other,
Speaker 3: even if we didn't like each other, because we needed
Speaker 3: each other. Right. It was an underground and we acted
Speaker 3: like an underground. You didn't know people's real name. That
Speaker 3: was funny sometimes, what's that me being a drag queen?
Speaker 3: I don't know half my friend's real names. I know
Speaker 3: we went we were trying to get some credit. Once
Speaker 3: my husband and I are like, oh, we should call
Speaker 3: you know, we should call less and it's like, well,
Speaker 3: what's their last name? We don't know? I didn't know, Well, yeah, hello,
Speaker 3: you know, because it was very secretive, you know, it's
Speaker 3: very about protecting people, not outing people, because it was
Speaker 3: dangerous in the early days.
Speaker 2: You're going to say, is that I'm sure there was
Speaker 2: and they probably still is a bunch of stigma around
Speaker 2: your community essentially.
Speaker 3: Well, it's interesting, honestly because what I found being an
Speaker 3: advocate and talking to what we call vanilla people, they
Speaker 3: didn't like that much. Talking to them, I actually find
Speaker 3: a lot more acceptance. Now that's not the way it
Speaker 3: used to be, but a lot more acceptance now. On
Speaker 3: some times, it's people within our community that are actually
Speaker 3: less accepting than people outside. Where ten years ago, fifteen
Speaker 3: years ago, Yeah, you couldn't really talk about it openly.
Speaker 3: You could lose your job, you could lose your partner,
Speaker 3: you could lose your family. There's still people who you'll
Speaker 3: lose your family. There is still absolutely by some prejudice
Speaker 3: out there. But there's a lot more acceptance than our
Speaker 3: people sometimes understand. I mean, they're just too frightened to
Speaker 3: find out earlier.
Speaker 1: I use the term a mounch. Can you tell me
Speaker 1: what a monch is?
Speaker 3: Well, a monch is a non vanilla luncheon. Really, a
Speaker 3: monch was actually created specifically in the old days to
Speaker 3: encourage newcomers to come and meet us. So the rules
Speaker 3: where you couldn't wear outrageous clothing or fetish style stuff,
Speaker 3: you had to look very vanilla. You couldn't bring toys
Speaker 3: and things. It was to encourage people to feel safe
Speaker 3: with us, find out we're just people, you know, and
Speaker 3: then go from there.
Speaker 1: It's good for people to meet the community and the
Speaker 1: people around them.
Speaker 3: To get people out meeting real people. And I'm saying
Speaker 3: we're not as scary as they say, at least not
Speaker 3: outside ourselves.
Speaker 1: When consensual for everybody.
Speaker 3: When we're scary, up my dungeon scary.
Speaker 2: So what is like, what does the scope of BDSM,
Speaker 2: What does that look like for you?
Speaker 3: Like, Oh, that's been a journey because I was very submissive.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 3: I found out that my sexuality was tied to BDSM
Speaker 3: because for me, vanilla sex is just a no go,
Speaker 3: no interest cirrial. I was nine years old, but after
Speaker 3: my daughter was born, didn't miss it right. That was
Speaker 3: before I found BDSM. So my sexuality is definitely around it.
Speaker 3: But I also had submissive tendencies, so I did that
Speaker 3: for a while. I served dominance. I was under contract
Speaker 3: for a few months to one dominance.
Speaker 1: What does that mean under contract?
Speaker 3: Well, we wrote up a contract, so we signed this
Speaker 3: contract and then I served team. I served a few
Speaker 3: others and then when I separated from my husband, I
Speaker 3: decided to go for. I only wanted relationships within BDSM
Speaker 3: because while he wanted to try it, it turned out not
Speaker 3: to be his thing.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, So I started.
Speaker 3: Dating a man. We call it dating. I don't really
Speaker 3: call it dating. We started to engage. We engage for
Speaker 3: eight months. I said I was going to move out
Speaker 3: of my house. He said, you'll move in with me.
Speaker 3: I've signed the contract. Show Wednesday, I'll show you the place.
Speaker 3: And so he became my master. He was my master
Speaker 3: for seven years.
Speaker 1: And in some of these scenarios, Amasa can have a
Speaker 1: bunch of people, right, Well.
Speaker 3: If you're Polly, yes, right, So you can have monogamy
Speaker 3: or you can have polyamory. And I've always been polyamorous.
Speaker 3: I mean even when I was long before I met BDSM,
Speaker 3: I was always had multiple dates and things like that.
Speaker 3: So he really polyamory as a whole.
Speaker 1: She could open up, right.
Speaker 3: So we had agreements that, yes, there would be other people,
Speaker 3: but the main thing was it was a true what
Speaker 3: we call a total power exchange, which means that he
Speaker 3: had all right and full control and he made all decisions.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I you know I went into that deliberately.
Speaker 3: I wore a slave collar. I had a custom made
Speaker 3: pendant when I had my hair done. The biggest thing
Speaker 3: was that my collar in lock. Okay, I didn't realize.
Speaker 3: I wasn't thinking about it until they shaved it off.
Speaker 3: And then there were all of my colleagues were work there.
Speaker 1: And so all the way Rise twenty four seven.
Speaker 3: Twenty four to seven, it never came off.
Speaker 2: Wow, you've cut your hair. People can see your padlock.
Speaker 2: How does that go down? What's the situation there?
Speaker 3: So there's forty consultants, you know, crammed into this little office,
Speaker 3: too barbarous going, and I'm drinking wine, you know, get
Speaker 3: my bravery up and my beautys and go for it,
Speaker 3: go for it. And I sit in the chair and
Speaker 3: he starts shaving them, thinking, oh my god, here's all
Speaker 3: of my colleagues and I had long red hair, yes,
Speaker 3: and it's coming off, and whether they've noticed or not,
Speaker 3: they're definitely going to see this now. So I was
Speaker 3: kind of expecting there to be some commentary. There wasn't
Speaker 3: any commentary, but I heard a couple of years later
Speaker 3: from one of the people that I used to work
Speaker 3: with that one of the development guys wanted me fired.
Speaker 3: But actually none of my colleagues ever spoke about it,
Speaker 3: which I'm very appreciative.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, that's an interesting locker you've got there,
Speaker 2: it's around the wrong way. That's oh wow, maybe you
Speaker 2: lost Tiffany, is it?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: So that lock was from your first relationship as a submissive.
Speaker 2: So what was it like when you left that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So that was hard leaving that because a lot of
Speaker 3: my life was around him and it took me five
Speaker 3: months to leave my house besides like going to work
Speaker 3: or groceries to break the mental bonds that I deliberately created.
Speaker 3: And I knew what I was doing. I knew that
Speaker 3: could happen.
Speaker 2: So when they're in charge of everything, is that everything
Speaker 2: or is it just within the bedroom or scenario is
Speaker 2: like that?
Speaker 3: No, it was everything, And that can make some people
Speaker 3: don't understand that when you put yourself in that mental emotion,
Speaker 3: you choose. That is a lifestyle. It's not like you
Speaker 3: pick and choose. So even if something is really really difficult,
Speaker 3: it is how do I serve? How do I maintain
Speaker 3: this right? Because the old rules were that when you
Speaker 3: stopped wying to do it, that ended the relationship. So
Speaker 3: it's very serious stuff for some of us. A very
Speaker 3: small proportion of the scene is went down that road,
Speaker 3: and very few people go down that road now. But
Speaker 3: I found a lot of value in it, and it
Speaker 3: actually helped me in a lot of ways. I also
Speaker 3: found things that you know, we think are so important,
Speaker 3: I found really weren't all that important at the end
Speaker 3: of the day, because I lived without them. After I
Speaker 3: left him, I started training other submissives into the lifestyle
Speaker 3: that sort of developed a dominant side. My first trainee
Speaker 3: actually was trying to get into a relationship with me.
Speaker 3: So three years after I trained her, I took her on.
Speaker 3: She moved in with me. That was my first female
Speaker 3: relationship in my fifties, and I was her master for
Speaker 3: three years.
Speaker 1: What was that like from you know, that's full, that's
Speaker 1: full full? It was really hard, Yeah, to start with.
Speaker 3: I was actually angry to begin with, you know, because
Speaker 3: like I was going to be a submissive slave forever
Speaker 3: and I really really kind of angry at the change
Speaker 3: for a while. But she really helped me. I mean,
Speaker 3: she really loved my dominance and really encouraged me to
Speaker 3: be the best I could be. And so I grew
Speaker 3: into that a lot because of her, and I really
Speaker 3: give her credit for that, but she decided to go
Speaker 3: on another path down the road, and I don't switch back.
Speaker 3: I don't have an interest in that, so I still play.
Speaker 3: I have a polycule, so I have a primary and
Speaker 3: two other partners.
Speaker 2: So we kind of touched on this bit, like what
Speaker 2: is the role of consent in the BDSM world?
Speaker 3: Consent? See, I learned consent twenty five years ago, right,
Speaker 3: which is wonderful you hear about it now. But that
Speaker 3: kind of came because we became more open and we
Speaker 3: started to talk about the things we did within. But
Speaker 3: consent was what I was taught in the very beginning.
Speaker 3: Nothing without consent. And the other thing I learned, which
Speaker 3: is one of the things that really have focused me
Speaker 3: on the lifestyle, is I had partners that cared about me,
Speaker 3: that put the focus on what was happening to me.
Speaker 3: So whether it was sexual or not, you know, it
Speaker 3: wasn't like, oh, they got sex and they wandered off,
Speaker 3: you know, it was no. Their job was to make
Speaker 3: sure I had an amazing experience. But nothing ever happened
Speaker 3: without discussion or talk. So I don't care what you
Speaker 3: were doing if it wasn't on the cards or if
Speaker 3: you said stop no, we had safe words. If that
Speaker 3: came out, everything stopped. So being treated that way was
Speaker 3: just eye opening and I could never go back, you know,
Speaker 3: to vanilla life, because I know a lot of that
Speaker 3: still happens in vanilla life. And I'm like, no, you
Speaker 3: don't treat me that way. So we learned to really
Speaker 3: stand up for ourselves and to say no, you're not
Speaker 3: doing that. Yeah, right, no matter what the situation.
Speaker 2: I feel like there's a lot more communication in the
Speaker 2: BDSM world.
Speaker 3: There's so much community, Like.
Speaker 1: Why would they shut up?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 1: Tell me about your dungeon. I didn't even know. I
Speaker 1: couldn't think of a better way to say it. To
Speaker 1: help me about your dungeon.
Speaker 3: The best part of my dungeon is this hidden Oh
Speaker 3: I have a secret room in my house.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Yes, doesn't everyone want a secret?
Speaker 1: Everyone wants? Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I went on this like TikTok like like whole the
Speaker 2: other day where it was all these hidden rooms that
Speaker 2: people put in their houses, and I was like.
Speaker 3: One of my play partners made me a bookcase because
Speaker 3: in front of the door frame and it happens to
Speaker 3: be on a wall that looks like it's very natural
Speaker 3: there because the walls angled. Yeah, and so nobody else
Speaker 3: is there. And it's a big room too. It's a
Speaker 3: second living area, so large, and it's full of lots
Speaker 3: and lots of things.
Speaker 1: Cabinet of curiosity.
Speaker 2: Oh hello, I'll go chest out the furniture, go for
Speaker 2: a swing.
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll get one of that. I love it, I
Speaker 1: love it.
Speaker 2: Renee walked in here looking like a sweet little old lady,
Speaker 2: and she was sweet, but she's also into some dirty things.
Speaker 1: Go your good thing.
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Speaker 2: Listen to more of what you love on iHeart and
Speaker 2: to see what two.
Speaker 1: Very unvanilla masses of their craft look like. Check us
Speaker 1: out on the socials.