WEBVTT - Leather Weather ☂️ 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:11.520 Well hallai, I'm back. Yes. 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:15.240 And if you thought we don't cover every strange, peculiar 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:19.760 and eccentric wido, oh, you'd be oh so wrong. I've 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:23.319 been working so hard to uncover the little secrets and 0:00:23.480 --> 0:00:26.920 strange things people are keeping concealed from the world, or 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:31.760 even concealed from me. So strap in and strap on 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:34.720 because things might get a little naughty. 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:35.280 Ah. 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:39.960 This is concealed with art simone, and I'm art Simone. 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:47.919 Duh. Let's meet our guests. Roll thata do it. 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:54.240 Hi. My name is Renee. I have lived in Melbourne 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:56.920 since nineteen ninety eight, when I immigrated here from the 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:59.720 US to marry my internet love. I work as a 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:02.640 bus US this analyst on large scale IT projects and 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:06.400 business improvement projects. I manage a registered charity I started 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:10.480 in twenty fifteen and I'm currently building a new consulting business. 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:12.760 I have one daughter, who came with me from the 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:15.560 States and whom I'm very proud of. My interests in 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:19.080 hobbies are wide and varied, ranging from an extensive library 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:22.480 to a fishing coral marine tank, to visit historical sites 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:26.040 and traveling. I also like home crafts, make my own curtains, 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:30.080 put together booknooks and new cross stitch. But I'm concealing 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:35.720 another part of my life that some may consider quite dangerous. 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:39.000 How every day? How are you good? 0:01:39.240 --> 0:01:40.880 I loving to meet you. Thanks for coming into the 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:44.399 studio today. Now we've never met before. Let me describe you, 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:47.160 all right. We've got a beautiful nights. I'd say business 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:50.000 chik blazer on and ie broach Ooh. 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:51.160 That's very fancy that. 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:52.000 It's my grandmother's. 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:54.640 Oh. I love that. We've got some pearls, but they're 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:55.920 like dark. 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.480 Pels, because yeah, dark, that's my thing. 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:02.000 I'm trying to pick them it so right, beautiful, all right, 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:06.840 nice tim short hair, spectacular spectacles. Now I have to 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:07.800 check are they prescription? 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:08.400 They are? 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.000 Oh good? All right, all right, I'll just check. 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:12.000 Because sometimes people come in here and they try to 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:14.240 fool me with the disguise. I don't want that to 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:14.919 be you today. 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:16.880 No, I never disguised myself. 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:20.560 And you are slightly shorter because we have just had 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:21.960 a bit of a struggle trying to get you up 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:23.160 onto the studio chair today. 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:24.919 I don't know if that has anything to do with it. 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:26.800 You know, I've got to pick it up, all right, 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:28.920 So a bit of background. So you move to your 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:32.920 nineteen ninety eight for a lover an internet love I did. 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:36.520 Oh can you tell me about that chat room? Yes? 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:39.960 We talked for about eight months. He flew me over here, 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:44.000 spent two weeks here, got engaged, kicked off the immigration 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.360 visa before I went home, waited five months, it came through, 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:50.400 and four weeks later my daughter and I were in Australia. 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:53.240 Oh, my goodness, loved good story. 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:54.760 Six months later I got married. 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:56.760 And are you still together? We are? 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:57.560 Not six years? 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:59.240 Six and a half years, though, that's pretty good. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:02:59.919 It was a pretty good. 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:02.239 And you said I'm going to stick around though. 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:06.160 Oh absolutely, I'm a citizen. I renounced my US citizenship 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:07.519 in twenty eighteen. 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:08.360 Wow. 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.560 Yeah, so you're stuck with me. I'm running for prime 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:11.960 minister years. 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:15.960 Okay, people, business analysts, Is that what you said? 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:17.600 Yes? What is that? 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:20.920 Nobody knows? No, no, not even us. And we we 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.679 just sort to do everything we get on these projects 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:25.440 and then we tell people what we think they need 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:27.880 to know and what you do, and we document things 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:29.600 and we don't actually do a lot of work. 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.440 Well, someone has to do it. I think one has 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:33.560 to do it. And amazed. I'll be you. You have 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:35.960 a lot of interests. I do you like to do 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:40.760 a lot of things? I get bored easy, Yes, the lot. 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:42.800 I've stopped writing them down because there were so many. 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:44.400 How do you how do you keep up with all 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:45.080 of those things? 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:46.240 I don't always. 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:50.240 I love that though. I love that. 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:51.960 I got to retire soon so I can do all 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:53.000 the things I'm interested in. 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:57.080 I love that. Okay. 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.120 So now I'm gonna ask you three questions, okay, and 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:01.120 from the answers to the three questions, plus with the 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:03.040 bit of the background info, I'm going to try and 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:05.280 work out what it is that you were concealing from me. 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:06.880 Okay, here we go. 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.400 Question number one, what would you call your autobiography? 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:13.680 Well, I actually have one in progress because I also write. 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:18.240 I couldn't put everything down. I actually have about three 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:22.160 books in progress, but this one's called going Bold Bold 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:26.760 or bald Bold. So I had my head shaped for 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:30.359 charity some years ago and found it to be a 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.040 very difficult thing. It actually was the scariest thing I 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:36.080 ever did, to be honest, which was sort of surprised me. 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:39.320 So it was for the Lukemia Foundation. It was a 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:44.000 business thing and So my book is about taking risks 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:46.479 and how to really live a full life. You know, 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:47.880 you need to get out there, you need to take 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:51.160 some risks. You need to throw yourself sometimes into situations 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:53.520 that scare you a situations you don't know the outcome 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:55.960 if you're really going to have an exciting and interesting 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:56.720 life going. 0:04:58.520 --> 0:04:59.880 So I feel every time I take a week. 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:04.800 Off, I hated it. 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:10.839 Okay, Question number two, what's an unusual thing that you 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:11.640 have in your house? 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.760 Well, I have a lot of unusual things, you can bet. 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:17.760 But one of my favorites that people don't seem to 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:22.120 appreciate is a picture that I picked up from the 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:26.680 Men on Men exhibition at the Laired called Pancake Daddy. 0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:31.839 And is this really big older guy, yes, who's stark naked. 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:34.760 He's laying on a stack of pancakes. Is that strawberries 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.480 in the background. He's pouring syrup over himself, you know, 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.159 and he's looking out like he's been discovered, and he 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.400 just he looks so happy, but he also looks so like, 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.480 oh my god, people are looking at me kind of thing. 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:46.359 And my partner and I just absolutely adore it. And 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:48.640 see my kitchen, So you can't really miss. 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:50.480 It, but that would make me appetised. Should we eat 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:51.960 in the kitchen? That would be true. 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:54.320 I'd walk and be like, oh I'm hungry. I don't 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:55.599 know why, Okay. 0:05:55.920 --> 0:05:59.640 And the third, where is the strangest place you've fallen 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:00.200 a slip? 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:01.480 Well? I did. 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.320 It's the strangest, but it's probably the worst place I 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:05.880 ever fell asleep. I used to have a beautiful little 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:08.760 Silver MX five that I was my pride and enjoyed. 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:13.200 And it's a sports car. It's a convertible. Yeah, it's 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:16.160 a little convertible that you really should go up there. Great, 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:20.279 it's a musta musta car. And uh yeah, So I 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:22.480 used to drive it a lot, like all the time, 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:24.599 and I used to go to parties a fair amount 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:27.320 when I was a few years younger. And I guess 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:29.600 I was getting older because it was one o three 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:32.640 am coming back from a health fire party and I 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:35.720 kind of ran into a tree and totaled it as 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:37.840 I fell asleep away from. 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.000 It. Was a bit of a party girl. Oh what 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:43.880 can I say? 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:47.760 Okay, all right, God, I mean, I've got lots of 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.120 things in my head after all of this, but enough 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:53.360 they come together in a beautiful clear pitcher that can 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:54.279 hang in your kitchen. 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:57.520 All right? So nat and audio going bald? Didn't like that? 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:03.279 Raise money leukemia pancake, Oh, sexy man on pancake, Oh yummy, 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:07.040 falling asleep. I had a nap in a master beautiful car, 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.720 but on the way back from a hell fire party. 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.120 All right, So there's lots of fun things going out, okay, 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:19.040 and crosstitch, Oh what is that pained for you? I 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:25.880 don't know's it's okay? And I are you a dominatrix close? 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:34.000 I'm a polyamorous, pan sexual, sadistic leather master who also 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:35.760 lived for a number of years as a full time 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:38.880 slave in a master slave relationship. I earned my cover 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:44.240 in twenty nineteen after twenty one years of actively practicing bbsm. 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:48.080 Oh Man, well done. We have a lot to go in. 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:50.320 I'm excited about that. 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:53.120 I'm going to give myself a pattern the back for 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:54.560 that one, because I don't think I would have got 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:55.800 that so specific. 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.480 Ah, I'm going to take this one as a win. 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:05.200 I got a right, yes, oh, Renee. We have so 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:08.080 much to find out to do a leather master. Ah, 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:09.280 hydrids leather weather. 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:09.920 I'll go get. 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:21.840 Mine all right, So we are here with Renee, who 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.000 I got it pretty close, may not be a dominatrix, 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:29.200 but is a leather master amongst a whole amount of other. 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:29.800 Things as well. 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:33.559 Oh my goodness, let's let's go back to the basics. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.280 To be a leather master, you have to be part 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:41.160 of the BDSM community. Can you tell me what BDSM is? 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.360 So. BDSM is an acronym that came out in the 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:49.480 nineteen nineties to basically expand what was originally S and M, 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.320 which is cetamasochism. But it's a bit more than that, 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:57.400 so that sounds for bondage discipline cetamasochism, and the DS 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:01.199 can also stand for dominance and submission, which is power exchange, 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:05.959 so more the emotional side of things. And it's everything 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:08.120 from a lifestyle for some people to just a set 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.160 of activities. Some people's just a bedroom thing. Some people 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.840 it extends beyond that. Some people it's sexual, some people 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:17.360 it's not. So it's actually really deep and complicated and 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.120 has a long history, like eighty to ninety years of 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:22.520 history actually, which most people don't know. 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:26.320 Yeah, I guess it's not like simply black and white 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.680 or one set of rules that apply to every single situation. 0:09:29.400 --> 0:09:33.200 Right, No, No, absolutely not. The thing about BDSM is 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.400 that while we can have some general principles that we 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.439 say we apply and we say we apply broadly, it's 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:41.520 an individual thing. So anyone can actually do anything they want. 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:43.320 You know, if you spank your partner in the bedroom, 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:45.920 you're basically doing BDSM, whether anyone knows it or not. 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:47.840 Or you might be out at clubs, you might be 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:50.920 out at munches, which are social gatherings, you might be 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.720 running a business off of it. It's so wide and 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:57.200 so varied and so personal that you can't really, you know, 0:09:57.360 --> 0:09:59.040 put it in a box and say it's just one 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:00.000 or two different things. 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:02.880 Now, how did you get involved into this world? 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:04.160 Well? 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:05.000 How did it happen? 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:09.640 By accident? Kind of? I had an internet relationship fall 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:12.840 apart in nineteen ninety six December in nineteen ninety six, 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.160 I was really upset and a friend of mine on 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.680 the internet. She said, come to these chat rooms with me. 0:10:17.800 --> 0:10:19.839 You know, they'll divert you. So I went. One of 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:22.480 it was called Torture Chamber and the other one was 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:23.800 called Submission. 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.439 And you said, oh okay, yeah. 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:27.560 I went in and she said, oh, oh, we have 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:30.079 to give you another name, oh, you know, and a 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.280 little bird and I was a little bird for years. 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:35.280 And I went in there and I said, Hugh, you 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:38.200 guys are really weird and I'm not like you, which 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:41.319 is really ironic now because my whole life has been 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:44.280 around that since. But yeah, it took a little while. 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:46.520 But they were lovely, lovely people, and they didn't care 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:48.360 what I thought of them, and they just said, yeah, 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:50.199 that's okay. You know you want to hang around, go ahead, 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:51.200 you don't want to hang around. 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:54.800 Leave So then you started in this chat room world, 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:57.719 and then how did you kind of branch off to 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:01.000 then what you do now, you know, or like in person? 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.280 Yeah, it was. And they like to say this because 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:06.440 a lot of people say, oh, if you're not doing 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:08.480 things in real life, you know, you're not really doing them, 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.280 especially now there's a lot of things about doing things 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:13.920 on the internet. But I made a lot of friendships, 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.640 a lot of relationships on the Internet that translated to 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:19.560 real life at some point. And so I spent about 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:26.040 five months playing around internet, six phone, six different relationships, 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:30.000 got some training from a guy in Seattle, and although 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.400 we didn't meet until later, and all kinds of things, 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:35.080 and after five months, I said, you know, I need 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:38.320 to see what this is really like. So I was 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:42.600 involved at that time with a cross dressing dominant in 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:45.199 New York and I lived in Montana, which is wait 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:47.360 far away, and he sent me a ticket and I 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.920 went spent a week with him, and after about three 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:52.280 days he said, nothing has to happen, and that was fine. 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:54.840 But after about three days something just sparked and we 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:58.120 got into it and it blew my mind and I 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.240 just never looked back. From there. I said, this is 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.559 my place, this is my people, this is what I needed, 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.920 This what I've been missing in my life. And I 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:07.320 came home and it was like, no, I have to 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:11.880 pursue this. So a year later I moved to Australia, 0:12:11.960 --> 0:12:15.160 but I'd already met online the people here in the 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.720 community because they had their own chat rooms here called 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:21.640 Ospedism doesn't exist anymore. And so when I got here, 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:25.280 I was vetted by four women for two hours sake 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:27.679 sat together with me, talked with me, figured out who 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:31.000 I was, my ideas, my attitudes, what I knew, and 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:33.720 then they said, okay, you're all right, come to the 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:34.520 club on this night. 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:36.160 Wow. Really yeah? 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:38.080 And I wait. My husband and I at the time, 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:41.440 we walked down an alley to a roller door. 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:43.040 Roller door went. 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.520 Up, big guys standing under a ball, you know, like 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:50.959 who are you? And then and then Belinda came out 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:52.880 and chained and nothing else and said, oh, they're with 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:55.200 me and that was our birthday party, and well be 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:57.760 bopped in and from then on, you know, we were accepted 0:12:57.800 --> 0:13:01.040 into the community and invited to various things. 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:04.840 So would you say the community is quite protective of 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.480 each other and themselves in terms of who they let 0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:10.040 in to make sure they're the right fit or the 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.480 right vibe or what's that like? 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.960 Well, this is the problem. There was a place called 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.280 fet Life that came in almost ten years ago, I 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.400 guess now, And when we went on there, we thought 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:23.520 it was great because they had cleared out all the 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:26.480 chat rooms. The owners had come and stripped out all 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:28.680 the sex channels and the BDSM channels and we couldn't 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.360 meet there anymore, so we didn't have an online place 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.480 to go to. So we thought this was great, and 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.439 it was for a while, but because it was an 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:40.320 open forum and they wanted more people on and because 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.920 people started advertising events openly, we got flooded. We got 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:46.600 flooded and flooded and flooded, and we're still flooded. We 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:49.600 have thousands of people entering every year. Yeah, and that's 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:51.200 driven a lot of people underground. 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:51.439 Now. 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:53.600 When I came in, Yeah, you had to be on 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:56.400 the list, you had to be known, you had to 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.840 have certain underlying principles that you accepted and agreed to 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:02.720 and worked with. We were very protective of each other, 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:05.160 even if we didn't like each other, because we needed 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:08.200 each other. Right. It was an underground and we acted 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.120 like an underground. You didn't know people's real name. That 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:13.880 was funny sometimes, what's that me being a drag queen? 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:16.439 I don't know half my friend's real names. I know 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:18.280 we went we were trying to get some credit. Once 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:19.960 my husband and I are like, oh, we should call 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:21.800 you know, we should call less and it's like, well, 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:27.640 what's their last name? We don't know? I didn't know, Well, yeah, hello, 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:33.040 you know, because it was very secretive, you know, it's 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:35.960 very about protecting people, not outing people, because it was 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:37.240 dangerous in the early days. 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:39.640 You're going to say, is that I'm sure there was 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:42.680 and they probably still is a bunch of stigma around 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:44.520 your community essentially. 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:49.200 Well, it's interesting, honestly because what I found being an 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:52.240 advocate and talking to what we call vanilla people, they 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:54.920 didn't like that much. Talking to them, I actually find 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.640 a lot more acceptance. Now that's not the way it 0:14:57.720 --> 0:14:59.720 used to be, but a lot more acceptance now. On 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:02.440 some times, it's people within our community that are actually 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:06.680 less accepting than people outside. Where ten years ago, fifteen 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:10.240 years ago, Yeah, you couldn't really talk about it openly. 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:12.760 You could lose your job, you could lose your partner, 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:15.160 you could lose your family. There's still people who you'll 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:19.280 lose your family. There is still absolutely by some prejudice 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.560 out there. But there's a lot more acceptance than our 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.560 people sometimes understand. I mean, they're just too frightened to 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:25.800 find out earlier. 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.640 I use the term a mounch. Can you tell me 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:29.360 what a monch is? 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:35.880 Well, a monch is a non vanilla luncheon. Really, a 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:40.680 monch was actually created specifically in the old days to 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:45.040 encourage newcomers to come and meet us. So the rules 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.240 where you couldn't wear outrageous clothing or fetish style stuff, 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:51.280 you had to look very vanilla. You couldn't bring toys 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:53.320 and things. It was to encourage people to feel safe 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.640 with us, find out we're just people, you know, and 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:56.920 then go from there. 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.120 It's good for people to meet the community and the 0:15:59.120 --> 0:15:59.920 people around them. 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:02.440 To get people out meeting real people. And I'm saying 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.200 we're not as scary as they say, at least not 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.200 outside ourselves. 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:10.080 When consensual for everybody. 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:15.479 When we're scary, up my dungeon scary. 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.560 So what is like, what does the scope of BDSM, 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:19.720 What does that look like for you? 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:26.080 Like, Oh, that's been a journey because I was very submissive. 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:26.800 I was. 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:30.360 I found out that my sexuality was tied to BDSM 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:33.200 because for me, vanilla sex is just a no go, 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:36.440 no interest cirrial. I was nine years old, but after 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.880 my daughter was born, didn't miss it right. That was 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:43.080 before I found BDSM. So my sexuality is definitely around it. 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:46.440 But I also had submissive tendencies, so I did that 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:50.360 for a while. I served dominance. I was under contract 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.000 for a few months to one dominance. 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:53.560 What does that mean under contract? 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:56.360 Well, we wrote up a contract, so we signed this 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:59.200 contract and then I served team. I served a few 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.360 others and then when I separated from my husband, I 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:06.440 decided to go for. I only wanted relationships within BDSM 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.560 because while he wanted to try it, it turned out not 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:09.280 to be his thing. 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.359 Right, Okay, So I started. 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:14.640 Dating a man. We call it dating. I don't really 0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:17.359 call it dating. We started to engage. We engage for 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:19.879 eight months. I said I was going to move out 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:21.480 of my house. He said, you'll move in with me. 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.280 I've signed the contract. Show Wednesday, I'll show you the place. 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:28.480 And so he became my master. He was my master 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:29.560 for seven years. 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.800 And in some of these scenarios, Amasa can have a 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:34.679 bunch of people, right, Well. 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:38.040 If you're Polly, yes, right, So you can have monogamy 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.760 or you can have polyamory. And I've always been polyamorous. 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:43.160 I mean even when I was long before I met BDSM, 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:45.680 I was always had multiple dates and things like that. 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.200 So he really polyamory as a whole. 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:50.600 She could open up, right. 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:54.679 So we had agreements that, yes, there would be other people, 0:17:55.080 --> 0:17:56.879 but the main thing was it was a true what 0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.359 we call a total power exchange, which means that he 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:02.920 had all right and full control and he made all decisions. 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:04.200 Wow. 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.960 Yeah, so I you know I went into that deliberately. 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.200 I wore a slave collar. I had a custom made 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.800 pendant when I had my hair done. The biggest thing 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.320 was that my collar in lock. Okay, I didn't realize. 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:16.040 I wasn't thinking about it until they shaved it off. 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:18.800 And then there were all of my colleagues were work there. 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:23.320 And so all the way Rise twenty four seven. 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:24.960 Twenty four to seven, it never came off. 0:18:25.000 --> 0:18:28.480 Wow, you've cut your hair. People can see your padlock. 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.160 How does that go down? What's the situation there? 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:34.320 So there's forty consultants, you know, crammed into this little office, 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.440 too barbarous going, and I'm drinking wine, you know, get 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.600 my bravery up and my beautys and go for it, 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:41.520 go for it. And I sit in the chair and 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:44.480 he starts shaving them, thinking, oh my god, here's all 0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:47.520 of my colleagues and I had long red hair, yes, 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:51.000 and it's coming off, and whether they've noticed or not, 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:53.560 they're definitely going to see this now. So I was 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:57.000 kind of expecting there to be some commentary. There wasn't 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.600 any commentary, but I heard a couple of years later 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:02.000 from one of the people that I used to work 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.800 with that one of the development guys wanted me fired. 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.760