Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and this is Ask Uncut,
Speaker 1: our quick, down and dirty little episode where we answer
Speaker 1: you're deep, dark and burning questions and I'm.
Speaker 2: Back, baby. Lovely to have you back.
Speaker 1: Not that I absolutely did not love having produced a
Speaker 1: kisha on, but you have been well, you haven't been
Speaker 1: under the weather.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just want to say.
Speaker 1: I was actually like kind of like, she's like really
Speaker 1: jealous listening to the start of the episode. So if
Speaker 1: you guys listen to Tuesday's episode, I missed the intro.
Speaker 2: Brittan I actually recorded.
Speaker 1: We recorded the body of the episode and then the
Speaker 1: second sweet and then that night after I got home
Speaker 1: and I was saying in the second suite that Lola
Speaker 1: had been a bit sick, and I got home and
Speaker 1: her eye was just completely glued shut. She had really
Speaker 1: hectic conjunctivitis. And then I felt like such a I
Speaker 1: just feed an idiot going to hospital with a kid
Speaker 1: that had conjunctivitis, being like, Hi, I know this is
Speaker 1: completely treatable from something from the chemists, but it was
Speaker 1: late at night. Anyway, turns out we ended up staying
Speaker 1: there for two nights. Yeah, because I said to Laura,
Speaker 1: I don't feel ridiculous going to hospital.
Speaker 2: It's what they're there for.
Speaker 1: And I can't tell you how many people walk into
Speaker 1: a hospital and say, oh, I'm so sorry I'm here,
Speaker 1: like I'm so embarrassed. But guys, if you're on, well,
Speaker 1: that's what a hospital's for, and be so glad that
Speaker 1: you went. Because it wasn't conjunctiveus. It was something called
Speaker 1: ocular colliitis like it was. Yeah, So basically, it's like
Speaker 1: when poo gets into a scratch into an eyeball.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to blame the toddler. Oh, Marley has
Speaker 2: poetry in the eye with pooh, that's what happens.
Speaker 1: So anyway, the wild beast poked the melon head in
Speaker 1: the eye and that resulted in us having two nights
Speaker 1: in hospital. But that's a great tweety first birthday story.
Speaker 1: I poked you in the eye with my poo and
Speaker 1: you got put in hospital.
Speaker 2: Kids are hard.
Speaker 1: But I just want to say to any parent, and
Speaker 1: I know that there's going to be someone who needs
Speaker 1: to hear this, if you were ever at home contemplating
Speaker 1: is my child sick enough to take them to hospital,
Speaker 1: like should I shouldn't I just fucking go.
Speaker 2: Don't gamble that question yourself.
Speaker 1: And I know that I've done it so many times
Speaker 1: where I've kind of been like, oh, good temperature, should
Speaker 1: I shouldn't I? And I think that this occasion really
Speaker 1: made me realize, especially with things like eyes, like just
Speaker 1: don't gamble with it. So anyway, she's completely fine now.
Speaker 1: Fully on the end, I was so jealous listening back
Speaker 1: to the episode, only.
Speaker 2: Because producer Keisha was really really good.
Speaker 1: Well, so yeah, last minute Laura had to obviously go
Speaker 1: to the hospital, so we hadn't done the start of
Speaker 1: the episode yet. I had been with Keisha at an
Speaker 1: event and I said, you know, you just need to
Speaker 1: step on in and she was like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cool, I can do that. And then poor Laura
Speaker 2: sitting in the hospital.
Speaker 1: We sent a photo to Laura in the hospital of
Speaker 1: us together and Laura's like, stop it.
Speaker 2: I'm so rationally jealous. I want you to be separated
Speaker 2: in a different rooms. Not only that, I was like.
Speaker 1: Texting them bow we have like a worker group chat,
Speaker 1: and I was texting them both and no one was replying,
Speaker 1: So I was like, how did I get sidelined so
Speaker 1: quickly from this three zero.
Speaker 2: I was like, girl, we're working in separate rooms. Don't
Speaker 2: be jealous.
Speaker 1: Anyway, the hospital was very boring. Melon Head is back
Speaker 1: to the picture of health. She's so much better, And
Speaker 1: here we are to answer all of your mishaps and
Speaker 1: whatever they are, just the shit that's going wrong in
Speaker 1: your life. So, speaking of Tuesday's episode, Britt, things did
Speaker 1: go a little bit south. Yeah, south where the seamen
Speaker 1: comes out.
Speaker 2: That's where we went to. What was the pole?
Speaker 1: So I was listening to the episode. If you heard
Speaker 1: Tuesday's episode, somehow Britt and Keisha got onto the conversation
Speaker 1: of men shooting their semen across the room and whether
Speaker 1: or not people do it, and they put a pole
Speaker 1: up on Instagram. I had nothing to do with this,
Speaker 1: all right, people, I was just as shocked and mortified
Speaker 1: as the rest of you.
Speaker 2: Laura send a requestion from the hospital was like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck they're talking about.
Speaker 1: I don't know why that shocks you after everything we
Speaker 1: have spoken about. I think because I'd never ever thought
Speaker 1: about a man masturbating and then purposely trying to shoot
Speaker 1: semen across the room. I still stand by the fact
Speaker 1: that most people would have tried it once in their
Speaker 1: life out of curiosity. So, guys, we put a poll
Speaker 1: up and we received so many messages from you who
Speaker 1: went and actually asked your husband's or your significant others,
Speaker 1: the male in your life and us, you know, have
Speaker 1: you shot semen across the room to see how far
Speaker 1: it'll go. This is just one of the replies that
Speaker 1: we received. I asked my hobby about sperm shooting and
Speaker 1: he reckons it's a super boss move if you can
Speaker 1: shoot your sperm. He also added that they move pretty
Speaker 1: fast and can go several kilometers an hour. There you go, guys,
Speaker 1: that's it. The answers are in, and it seems like
Speaker 1: some men do it. Honestly, it's not. I don't want
Speaker 1: you guys think it's a thing like. It's not that
Speaker 1: some men do it for fun. You walk in the
Speaker 1: bedroom and there's like something stick on you.
Speaker 2: Really, babe. Again, from everyone.
Speaker 1: I've spoken to, this is a thing that a man
Speaker 1: will do at least once in life. I would do
Speaker 1: it one hundred percent if I had a penis at
Speaker 1: some point in my life out of curiosity, I'd be like, like,
Speaker 1: long jump, how far could this go?
Speaker 2: I'm curious, and.
Speaker 1: That's what they anyway, Hollwood's and upwards, guys, here we are.
Speaker 1: We have received quite a few questions this week, but
Speaker 1: we've picked out some of the ones that we think we.
Speaker 2: Can add some value to.
Speaker 1: We might have some experience or some knowledge to be
Speaker 1: able to give you a bit of worldly and life advice.
Speaker 1: And I am going to kick this off all right.
Speaker 1: So I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years.
Speaker 1: I am desperately in love with him, and I'm not
Speaker 1: over the breakup. We were supposed to be going to
Speaker 1: a really big event coming up in a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks time, which we had both bought tickets to. Now
Speaker 1: he has said that I can still go, or we
Speaker 1: should still go together, but we should go as friends.
Speaker 1: I'm contemplating going, but I know deep down it's because
Speaker 1: I really want to be with him.
Speaker 2: What should I do? Sell your ticket? Fucking don't go,
Speaker 2: my friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really tough one, and I feel for
Speaker 1: you because I've been in that situation before where you
Speaker 1: want to hold on with everything that you've got, all
Speaker 1: of your being. You are absolutely not ready for that breakup.
Speaker 1: You're not ready to let go. You're not ready to
Speaker 1: not have him in your life. But the fact that
Speaker 1: the matter is is he does not feel like that
Speaker 1: about you, and that is really hard pill to swallow,
Speaker 1: but it is one that unfortunately do need to swallow.
Speaker 1: Can you, guys be friends down the track? And can
Speaker 1: you have him in your life? I mean, yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: I don't know the rest of your story. Also maybe not,
Speaker 1: but also maybe not, But I don't think right now
Speaker 1: in this situation where he has said in his friendship
Speaker 1: and you know you want more, it's going to end disastrously.
Speaker 1: It will be very, very painful for you while you're there.
Speaker 1: I did this, so I'm giving you this one from
Speaker 1: some real personal experience. Remember Mattress guy, the guy who
Speaker 1: want to legs behind my knee? How can we forget
Speaker 1: sexy leg Mattress? I really forgot about this one. He
Speaker 1: was just such an early relationship I had. I mean,
Speaker 1: we were together for six years, but we broke up
Speaker 1: when I was twenty three, so like it was a
Speaker 1: long time ago. I'm old, guys, this is over ten
Speaker 1: years ago. So he broke up with me. He broke
Speaker 1: my heart. I was absolutely devastated when we broke up. Really,
Speaker 1: really really struggled for a really long time, and I
Speaker 1: had tickets to go and see Matchbox twenty.
Speaker 2: Oh oh my god, this shows that age. So that
Speaker 2: is how long ago this was.
Speaker 1: And I had bought tickets. I really wanted to go
Speaker 1: and see a Matchbox twenty.
Speaker 2: I was obsessed with them at the time.
Speaker 1: I had bought a ticket for him as well, because
Speaker 1: we were together, and even though it wasn't for like
Speaker 1: a birthday or anything, he convinced me that I should
Speaker 1: still let him go because he was tired us and
Speaker 1: also really loved Matchbox twenty two, and because I was
Speaker 1: still so in love with him even though he'd broken
Speaker 1: up with me. I was like, yes, of course, Like,
Speaker 1: it's an opportunity for me to see you, It's an
Speaker 1: opportunity for me to like be my funniest My ideas
Speaker 1: were you back, Yeah, I would change your mind. You know,
Speaker 1: you'll spend the night with me and then realize you
Speaker 1: made the wrong decision. He did it lassic female move totally.
Speaker 1: He didn't. He didn't change his mind. I tried my
Speaker 1: hardest to be everything that he would want, like knowing
Speaker 1: what he liked about me, and I tried to be
Speaker 1: the perfect version for him, and all it did was
Speaker 1: leave me bitterly disappointed and feel so pathetic and useless
Speaker 1: because at the end of the night, he still didn't
Speaker 1: want to be with me and he had just even
Speaker 1: though he knew I was in love with him, still
Speaker 1: he just wanted to be my friend.
Speaker 2: And I was like, you know what, fuck your friendship.
Speaker 2: I've got friends. Yeah, go find another leg to fuck
Speaker 2: watch me walk on out of here.
Speaker 1: Leave.
Speaker 2: I love that. But it's honestly, that is so true.
Speaker 1: And the fact is, you could have had a whole
Speaker 1: different experience with Matchbox twenty. You could look back at
Speaker 1: that differently. You could have taken a friend, you could
Speaker 1: have had a great time. But now when you think
Speaker 1: of it, you think of that time that you try
Speaker 1: to be someone you're not to woo back a guy
Speaker 1: that wanted to have a safety leg totally and do
Speaker 1: you know what. Okay, if you guys don't know what
Speaker 1: we're talking about, go and listen to the bonus episode.
Speaker 2: It's really funny. It's from last week. It's the funniest
Speaker 2: moment of my life.
Speaker 1: Okay, So like that, then the whole having sex with
Speaker 1: the back of my leg will make sense. It's a
Speaker 1: very funny episode, but I completely agree. I wish I'd
Speaker 1: had a bit more confidence, and I wish I'd had
Speaker 1: a little bit more self worth and known that. Don't
Speaker 1: put yourself in a situation one that you can't get
Speaker 1: out of because you're at a you're physically at an event.
Speaker 1: It's not like catching up for a coffee or going
Speaker 1: for a chat, like you're going to something together. But
Speaker 1: by going to this event as friends, you're solidifying this
Speaker 1: new status in.
Speaker 2: Your relationship, which is that you are not what you
Speaker 2: used to be.
Speaker 1: And I think the reality is that you will be
Speaker 1: bitterly disappointed if you are not ready to be friends yet.
Speaker 2: So don't go.
Speaker 1: This is an easy one, guys. If you're ever in
Speaker 1: this situation, just don't do it. Fight the urge, yeah,
Speaker 1: because then you'll have suppressed troumo about match Box twenty
Speaker 1: and fourteen years later, you'll still talk about it as
Speaker 1: a really painful time in your life.
Speaker 2: For I'm coming in.
Speaker 1: Hot, I have my anniversary coming up and want to
Speaker 1: get a couple of small gifts for my partner.
Speaker 2: Do you think buying viagra would be.
Speaker 1: Taken as sexy or insulting? I feel this is a
Speaker 1: very funny. I want to add our sex life is
Speaker 1: actually amazing. I just thought it might be something fun
Speaker 1: to do for a once off. What are your thoughts
Speaker 1: sexy or insulting?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: So I actually had to call in a bit of
Speaker 1: help on this question. I had to ask Matthew Johnson,
Speaker 1: he said, and then he really wanted me to preface.
Speaker 1: He's like, I've never tried viagra. And then he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: but I have tried liquid viagra, and I was like,
Speaker 1: well that's viagra. Pretty sure it's the same thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: So he said, I don't think it's offensive, so long
Speaker 1: as you preface it by saying, you know, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to try something new, spice things up. He said, However,
Speaker 1: you do have to be prepared to go to poundtown
Speaker 1: for about six hours because the guy is going to
Speaker 1: have a raging stiffy and he's not going to be
Speaker 1: able to do anything else with it. So if you
Speaker 1: enjoy being pounded today for six hours, six hours, I mean, no,
Speaker 1: we all, I'm like a six minute wonder.
Speaker 2: I'm like, all right, all right, you're done, let's go all.
Speaker 2: I can think of the Hipleixes, the next day.
Speaker 1: So if you're a ready to spend a whole day
Speaker 1: in poundtown go for a girlfriend, it could be a really,
Speaker 1: really fun little day for you. Also, it could be
Speaker 1: exhausting and you might just want to put on Netflix
Speaker 1: and cuddle on the couch. Okay, So I asked Jordan
Speaker 1: to because I feel like this is hard fast to answer,
Speaker 1: obviously being female, Jordan said, the first thing that you
Speaker 1: would think of immediately would be like, Okay, is there
Speaker 1: something that you're not happy with? Is there some sort
Speaker 1: of performance issue that you don't like, because that's essentially
Speaker 1: what my agree is. It's saying that you want it harder,
Speaker 1: and it's saying that you want it longer. So that's
Speaker 1: definitely something to consider if there is any sort of
Speaker 1: issue in your relationship. I mean, you've said it's amazing.
Speaker 1: I think if I got given, I just tried to
Speaker 1: put it back to me.
Speaker 2: I was if it was fine. It was my anniversary.
Speaker 1: Fake vagina likely came home with a pill that was
Speaker 1: like this will make you hornier or this will make
Speaker 1: you vagina tighter. I'd be cool, but where's the diamond?
Speaker 1: It was like, it's my anniversary, Like you've literally given
Speaker 1: me a pill to make your pleasure go longer. For me,
Speaker 1: I think it's like a touching. I think maybe maybe
Speaker 1: do it for fun one night if you really want
Speaker 1: to and have the conversation.
Speaker 2: But maybe maybe're not an anniversary gift. Yeah, I think you
Speaker 2: can try it.
Speaker 1: I think if you wanted to spice thing something, you
Speaker 1: can totally try it. But Brita is right, it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be for an anniversary present. It's kind of
Speaker 1: a weird adniversary present. Let's just do it on a
Speaker 1: Saturday night. Well, you've got to make sure austually do
Speaker 1: it on a Saturday morning. It's gonna take you six hours. Girlfriend,
Speaker 1: you're gonna start that in the afternoon.
Speaker 2: You're the schedule.
Speaker 1: You have to live schedule because he's not going to
Speaker 1: be doing anything or gold anyway. It is going to
Speaker 1: be like he is pitching a tent and you were
Speaker 1: staying in for the day.
Speaker 2: All right. I think we answered that one too. All
Speaker 2: right in next.
Speaker 1: Question hit me, oh lad, we're just powering through these today.
Speaker 1: This is one that makes me extremely uncomfortable. But I
Speaker 1: think it's a really important to have a chat about.
Speaker 1: That wasn't a question that was me, guys, I feel
Speaker 1: like I was reading that in my question voice. One night,
Speaker 1: after babysitting for a family I worked for for six years,
Speaker 1: I got a call from the father, who was still
Speaker 1: on his night out. The mom had come home and
Speaker 1: that's why I had left. He was drunk and slurring
Speaker 1: his words, but he just wanted to check that I
Speaker 1: made it home. Okay, that was all fine, So I
Speaker 1: tried to go back to sleep. It was twelve thirty am,
Speaker 1: but then he called back three more times, so I
Speaker 1: eventually answered, and he started off with don't talk to
Speaker 1: me in that smoky voice. I was whispering so I
Speaker 1: as to not wake my housemates. Long story short, he
Speaker 1: told me that he has a thing for me and
Speaker 1: he thought I was sexy and hot and asked if
Speaker 1: I would come over right then he said would we
Speaker 1: ever be a thing and could we ever meet? Obviously,
Speaker 1: I was in utter shock, so I didn't say much
Speaker 1: apart from no. Also, please note I'm twenty four and
Speaker 1: I met them when I was eighteen.
Speaker 2: He is forty.
Speaker 1: The next day he messaged, apologizing and asking if we
Speaker 1: are all good? But now I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: They introduced me as part of the family to their
Speaker 1: friends at the kids' birthdays, And it has been so
Speaker 1: long that I don't feel like I can just leave.
Speaker 1: I also don't know how i'd feel facing him though,
Speaker 1: and being in his house again, especially if the wife
Speaker 1: is not there. Do I tell her?
Speaker 2: Do I go back? Can I leave? Help? Noboddy? We
Speaker 2: are not all good? Not all good?
Speaker 1: Yeah, A bought not absolutely not. Hey, so I called
Speaker 1: you and sexually harassed you last night? Are we cool?
Speaker 1: And tried to share to my wife? And like, yeah,
Speaker 1: makes you feel completely uncomfortable?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: No, absolutely, just I'm so mad for a lot of reasons.
Speaker 1: One of the lesser reasons, I'm gonna say it anyway,
Speaker 1: is that it's so fucking hard to find a really
Speaker 1: good babysitter.
Speaker 2: If I was that.
Speaker 1: Wife, If I was that wife, that's where you had
Speaker 1: Matt messed up my babysitter that I'd had for five years.
Speaker 2: I would be so dirty.
Speaker 1: Ah, Okay, you have to quit your job, Like you
Speaker 1: cannot work with this family anymore. You can't work in
Speaker 1: an environment where you know that the dad feels something
Speaker 1: more for you or would try something on if he
Speaker 1: gets another opportunity, because like it's a really really uncomfortable
Speaker 1: environment for you. It's probably not a very safe environment
Speaker 1: for you. And I think by working there and showing
Speaker 1: up in that environment without addressing it, you may even
Speaker 1: be giving him some sort of indication that this is okay,
Speaker 1: because if you don't address this, he's gonna think this
Speaker 1: is fine, which is absolutely not fine. And that's not
Speaker 1: saying that that's your fault at all, but he needs
Speaker 1: a fucking dressing down. That's what he needs for starters.
Speaker 1: What would I do if I was in a situation,
Speaker 1: I would quit. I would quit, and I would speak
Speaker 1: to the wife and say because it's going to be
Speaker 1: a shock to them if you're a babysitting and it's
Speaker 1: a casual work, it's going to be a shock if
Speaker 1: you're saying, hey, I can't work for you at all
Speaker 1: ever again. And I don't have a reason, I do
Speaker 1: think you should speak to the wife and say I
Speaker 1: can't work.
Speaker 2: For you anymore.
Speaker 1: Your husband was very inappropriate to me on a night
Speaker 1: out after he'd had a few drinks. I feel completely uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: and you can leave it at that, because I think
Speaker 1: that you will want to say something. You will probably
Speaker 1: feel incomplete if you don't. And it's also really hard
Speaker 1: because you have a relationship with these children. You've been
Speaker 1: part of their lives for the past five six years.
Speaker 1: This is not a small thing. This makes me really
Speaker 1: angry too, and I feel so angry. Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to start by saying, this really fucking sucks that this
Speaker 1: happens to you, and you're the one that has to
Speaker 1: go and lose your job, and you're the one that
Speaker 1: has to go and lose the family that you're close to,
Speaker 1: and it feels unfair, and it is unfair because you
Speaker 1: shouldn't have to go and quit your job because somebody
Speaker 1: else did the wrong thing and made you feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: But what Laura said is right.
Speaker 1: Regardless of all of that, you're in an environment that
Speaker 1: you're extremely uncomfortable in and you shouldn't have to be
Speaker 1: in that, And the only option is for you to
Speaker 1: leave because a family can't leave. So I think what
Speaker 1: Laura said is correct. You absolutely do not have to
Speaker 1: if you don't want to. You don't have to tell
Speaker 1: them the reason, like you're entitled to be, like, Hey,
Speaker 1: it's time for me to move on to my next
Speaker 1: chapter and I won't be working here anymore.
Speaker 2: But I also don't want you.
Speaker 1: To feel bad at all about bringing this up to
Speaker 1: the wife if that's what you feel like you want
Speaker 1: to do, and that's what's going to help you, because
Speaker 1: he's done the wrong thing.
Speaker 2: This is not you.
Speaker 1: It's completely in your hands what you want to do
Speaker 1: and how much you want to divulge and what you're
Speaker 1: comfortable with. You could walk away and not say a thing,
Speaker 1: and you're then going to feel guilty and wish you did.
Speaker 2: Is that going to eat you alive?
Speaker 1: Or is it going to eat you alive if you
Speaker 1: tell her something and it breaks up the family. Ultimately,
Speaker 1: only you can make the decision. But if it was me,
Speaker 1: I would probably tell the wife because I feel like
Speaker 1: I would want to know. If I was in that
Speaker 1: situation and my husband was trying to cheat on me
Speaker 1: while I was at home with the kids with a
Speaker 1: babysitter that had just left, I would want to know.
Speaker 1: So I think that you could start by just saying, look, yeah,
Speaker 1: there was something that was really inappropriate and I don't feel.
Speaker 2: Comfortable in the house anymore.
Speaker 1: You can leave it that if you want, but at
Speaker 1: least you've flagged that something is amiss. You've given them
Speaker 1: a reason, and it might make you feel a.
Speaker 2: Lot better too.
Speaker 1: I completely agree with everything you said, Britt. I think
Speaker 1: there is a huge, huge inequality in power here. The
Speaker 1: fact that he is your employer, the fact that you
Speaker 1: have to come into his home, into his private space,
Speaker 1: twenty year age difference, yeah, the fact that you guys
Speaker 1: will have to spend time alone, Like, it is such
Speaker 1: a gross abuse of power that he has and what
Speaker 1: he has done.
Speaker 2: And I do not think that you can continue.
Speaker 1: To work there, Like, I really think that it's it's
Speaker 1: not safe, it's not healthy for you.
Speaker 2: I don't think that you should stay.
Speaker 1: And it's not your fault and you have done nothing
Speaker 1: wrong and there's nothing that you should feel upset about.
Speaker 1: But even though all of those things are true, you're
Speaker 1: the one who has to live through all the consequences
Speaker 1: of this, Like, like Britt said, you're the one who's going
Speaker 1: to lose your job, You're the one who loses the family,
Speaker 1: You lose all of these things. And I think the
Speaker 1: only way to maybe even muster back a little bit
Speaker 1: of that, and it can come a bit from anger,
Speaker 1: It doesn't just have to come from being like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to do the right thing. For the wife
Speaker 1: and you know, be this perfectly supportive and moral person.
Speaker 1: It's okay to be fucking mad sometimes that someone's done
Speaker 1: something that means that you don't get to live your
Speaker 1: life and do the things that you want to do
Speaker 1: because you've done nothing wrong and you have to wear
Speaker 1: his consequences. So I think even if your motivation isn't
Speaker 1: just because you're a perfectly saintly person, if your motivation
Speaker 1: comes from being like a little bit pissed off at him,
Speaker 1: that's okay as well. And you can have that conversation
Speaker 1: with his wife. And I think I would, Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: pretty much that in a nutshell that yeah, it really.
Speaker 2: Sucks, and me too.
Speaker 1: And I also think if you find confrontation hard and
Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't think you can literally sit
Speaker 1: down face to face and have that conversation with a wife.
Speaker 2: Write a letter. There's a lot of ways you can
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: And even in a letter you can say I just
Speaker 1: didn't know how to tell you this or talk about it.
Speaker 1: But if you do want to call me after this,
Speaker 1: that's fine because I often find it's a lot easier
Speaker 1: to do that put something in a text message, in
Speaker 1: writing in a letter and then once both parties have
Speaker 1: a time because that way you can articulate it exactly
Speaker 1: the way you want, she can have time to absorb it,
Speaker 1: and then you can go and meet and talk about it.
Speaker 2: So that's another option too.
Speaker 1: There are plenty of ways to do it to make
Speaker 1: all parties, not all parties, but you and the wife
Speaker 1: feel comfortable. Yeah, and look, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: if you do not want to tell her, if there's
Speaker 1: a part of you that says, look, I want to
Speaker 1: get out of this situation, I don't really want to
Speaker 1: work for him anymore, but I don't feel comfortable having
Speaker 1: in the conversation. You don't have to do that either.
Speaker 1: You know, we're just saying what we would do if
Speaker 1: we were in this situation. But the reality is is
Speaker 1: you have to do what's right for you, and you
Speaker 1: have to take care of yourself because in this situation,
Speaker 1: you are the most important person.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have a tricky one, really really tricky, ladies.
Speaker 1: I need your advice. My hairdresser is a good friend
Speaker 1: of mine and has been doing my hair and been
Speaker 1: a friend for twenty plus years. I am loyal to
Speaker 1: her and only ever go to her to have my
Speaker 1: hair done, but after years of walking out unhappy with
Speaker 1: the end result, I would like to try someone else,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to offend her. I have tried
Speaker 1: showing her photos for inspiration, discussing what to do with
Speaker 1: my hair before the appointment, but it's never what I
Speaker 1: ask for.
Speaker 2: What do I do? This is so awkward.
Speaker 1: I actually don't even know how to answer this. I
Speaker 1: know I just sprung this on Laura. We didn't discuss
Speaker 1: this one. This makes me uncomfortable because no part of you, ever, ever,
Speaker 1: ever wants to offend a friend, and obviously you've been
Speaker 1: doing it for twenty years. Like for you to be like, cool,
Speaker 1: I'm trying someone new, especially if you're like I fucking
Speaker 1: hated my hair for twenty years, Like this is probably
Speaker 1: the first time. I don't really know what solid advice
Speaker 1: to give you. You can either be super super honest
Speaker 1: and say like, oh, do you know what you could do?
Speaker 1: Maybe she's not a specialist in something like so maybe
Speaker 1: you say, hey, I'm going to go try something new
Speaker 1: and I'm going to get some hair extensions. I'm going
Speaker 1: to this specialist that does hair extensions. Just get some
Speaker 1: tapes or something that you can get out soon as
Speaker 1: well put them in, because that way you're like, and
Speaker 1: when you're at their hair dress up, be like, this
Speaker 1: is what I want, explaining to us, get what you want,
Speaker 1: get the hair extensions, and then a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: later I'd be like, oh, I didn't like the hair extensions,
Speaker 1: I take it out.
Speaker 2: And then you've got the hair that you wanted. What's
Speaker 2: like the only like way I can think you can
Speaker 2: skewed around it.
Speaker 1: I hate I hate laughing because it's not funny, Like
Speaker 1: nobody wants to disappoint a friend.
Speaker 2: We're laughing at uncomfortable hairt I'm.
Speaker 1: Just laughing that, Like, you are such a good person
Speaker 1: that you have spent twenty years with a hairstyle that
Speaker 1: you don't like because she's your friendly. She's your friend,
Speaker 1: like you're an angel, You're actually an angel sent from
Speaker 1: the heavens. I don't I don't think I would go
Speaker 1: to the extent of getting hair extensions.
Speaker 2: See, I wouldn't do anything I can to avoid her feeling.
Speaker 1: No, of course, but it's also her extensions are really expensive.
Speaker 1: Like it's not like you don't go and spend a
Speaker 1: thousand dollars to avoid upsetting a friend like that. We
Speaker 1: still I mean, you know not everybody has no let to.
Speaker 2: Go do that. And I'm joking, I just could have
Speaker 2: the sit down with them. I don't even reckon you
Speaker 2: do have a sit.
Speaker 1: Down your hairstyle.
Speaker 2: I think you just go.
Speaker 1: I think you just you know what, Like, are you
Speaker 1: wanting to do something that's completely outrageously different or is
Speaker 1: it just like a bit of a trim bit of
Speaker 1: a maintain I think you just go and you know
Speaker 1: what you say? You say, I got a group on
Speaker 1: voucher or some want do you know what? Someone bought
Speaker 1: me a voucher for my birthday or for Christmas or something,
Speaker 1: and I got my hair done.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can make it not a big deal. Don't
Speaker 2: blow it up.
Speaker 1: I think if you sit down and have a heart
Speaker 1: to heart about it, you're only going to really deeply
Speaker 1: upset them.
Speaker 2: But no one likes confrontation. Your friend's not gonna like
Speaker 2: confrontation either.
Speaker 1: She's not gonna like accost you and be like, why
Speaker 1: did you get your hair done somewhere else? She's gonna
Speaker 1: know that that's an uncomfortable conversation. And I think just go,
Speaker 1: say you got a voucher from someone else. Have a
Speaker 1: little white like get your hair done the way that
Speaker 1: you like it. And then maybe when your hair is
Speaker 1: done the way that you like it, you'd be able
Speaker 1: to go back to your friend and say, hey, I
Speaker 1: really like this. Do you think you can maintain this?
Speaker 1: And if she can't, then you got another voucher. Nah,
Speaker 1: it's so I love the way nabbing this out. Now, Okay,
Speaker 1: these are my thoughts on what you just said. I'm
Speaker 1: going to disagree with. I don't think you can just go.
Speaker 1: I don't think you can turn up to brunch and
Speaker 1: have your new hairstyle. It's like it's too you can't.
Speaker 1: They're your friend with twenty years and then your hair dress,
Speaker 1: Like you have to have that conversation.
Speaker 2: You can't just both. It's the elephant in the room.
Speaker 2: It'll make it worse.
Speaker 1: She'll be upset. But I do like what you said
Speaker 1: about maybe making it someone's giving you a gift. But
Speaker 1: it has to be someone that knows that you don't
Speaker 1: have a hair dress, a best friend of twenty years,
Speaker 1: so it has to like, could be work, colleague, could
Speaker 1: be anything totally, Like, we're gonna leave it up to
Speaker 1: you to make up that white life. Lying is never
Speaker 1: the right solution, but in this solution, it's the right.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The other thing you could maybe do is if you
Speaker 1: have a holiday or a weekend away planned or something
Speaker 1: like that, you could get it done while you're on
Speaker 1: holiday and you could be like I went to get
Speaker 1: a blow dry and ended up just getting colors, you know,
Speaker 1: when on vac.
Speaker 2: You could make it something like that.
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be like something taken out of
Speaker 1: your ordinary life, or you have the balls and you
Speaker 1: sit down and say, hey, like I'm gonna try something new.
Speaker 1: But I don't think you can just pretend it didn't happen.
Speaker 2: So I think you don't walk into brunch with like
Speaker 2: a new hair.
Speaker 1: I like that all of your suggestions like revolve, runt
Speaker 1: go and get hair extensions like a thousand dollars.
Speaker 2: God, just go away on holiday and then get a
Speaker 2: hair when you don't go on holiday to get your hair.
Speaker 1: But I think like make it if you do a
Speaker 1: weekend away, like find a hairdresser and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just tried something new.
Speaker 2: Who knows. I just don't think you can not talk
Speaker 2: it through. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Look, I guess maybe we're not gonna agree on this one.
Speaker 1: I think the bigger you make it, and the more
Speaker 1: that you kind of try and flesh out a lie
Speaker 1: in real life with someone, the more chance you have
Speaker 1: of actually are coming undone, and the more chance that
Speaker 1: someone's gonna be like, okay, I can tell that you're
Speaker 1: lying to me, especially if it's your best friend.
Speaker 2: I do think it's very easy to just.
Speaker 1: You know, show up with different hair and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I know, I hope you're not offended. I got given
Speaker 1: a voucher from a work person, got my hair done
Speaker 1: at this salon. The bigger you make it, the bigger
Speaker 1: this is going to be as a deal. So try
Speaker 1: and keep it as minimal as possible, is all I'm
Speaker 1: going to say. But look, no one wants to have
Speaker 1: hair that they don't like for twenty years. This is
Speaker 1: your opportunity to do something different.
Speaker 2: You already put in the hard yards.
Speaker 1: You put twenty twenty years, like you need time to
Speaker 1: take that back. But most people don't even put that
Speaker 1: much effort into any relationship. You've done that for twenty
Speaker 1: years with your hairdresser.
Speaker 2: You just have a medal.
Speaker 1: Can you let us know what you do I would
Speaker 1: love to hear. Also, send us a photo of the
Speaker 1: new hair. You'll be anonymous. Yeah alright guys, that is
Speaker 1: it from ours. Thank you for listening to another episode.
Speaker 1: Thank you to everybody who is sent in a question.
Speaker 1: You also know that if your question is not one
Speaker 1: that you need to keep anonymous, you can always post
Speaker 1: it in the Facebook group as well, which is Life
Speaker 1: Uncut Discussion Group, and hit us up on Instagram which
Speaker 1: is Life Uncut Podcast. You know the drill pley mom,
Speaker 1: tell your dad, so your friends and shared a love
Speaker 1: because I let you do that on your