1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: Matt. We like to think that we're pretty committed dads. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, we are. Hang on a second. We 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 2: haven't broken any world records for endurance surfing, have we 4 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 2: not yet? 5 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,479 Speaker 1: Not that I know of. Unless you have behind my back, 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: I don't think I have help. The man committed to 7 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,479 Speaker 1: the cause is Blakie Johnson, who was basically born in 8 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: the sea. He looks like a Viking and he walks 9 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: around barefoot because the man is always ready to serve. 10 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 2: I had a look at his socials and what I 11 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 2: love most Ash is how much he loves the outdoors, 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 2: not just surfing, but hiking, running, and he includes his 13 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 2: family and kids especially on all of these adventures. 14 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: He must have some serious patients. Ah, just a trigger 15 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 1: warning for everyone. A few years ago, Blakeie lost his 16 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: dad to suicide. He shares about that time and the 17 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: healing that came after is incredibly honest. 18 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 2: Which had about painting through grief, what it means to 19 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 2: be present with your kids, and how he took care 20 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 2: of himself as a dad when he was at his lowest. 21 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 2: And just a note, we will put in some information 22 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 2: into the show notes for anyone out there who is 23 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 2: experiencing issues with their mental health. 24 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: Now, Blakie is one of those men that I idolize 25 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: Matthew being an endurance surfer. Also he shreds, which is great, 26 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 1: but he is not perfect. He forgets to pack lunches. 27 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's a bit chaotic with a couple of boys. 28 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,759 Speaker 1: And he may have lost his kids a few times 29 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: at the shops. Haven't we all all right? 30 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 2: Here? It is our conversation with a SALTI Dog Viking himself, 31 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 2: Blakie Johnston. 32 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 3: Let's get into it. 33 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 2: Welcome back to three doting dads. 34 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 4: I'm Maddie Jay, I'm Ash and I'm Blakie Johnston. 35 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 2: And this is a podcast all about parenting. 36 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 4: It is the good, it. 37 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: Is the bad, and the relatable. 38 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 2: And Blakie, we have to say this for legal reasons. 39 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 2: Ash and I don't give advice, but we would be 40 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 2: honored to hear your advice today on any subject. 41 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: Anything whatsoever. There's a loophole that guests are allowed to 42 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: They can preach whatever it is. Usually it's very good. 43 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 2: So I'm actually a bit reluctant to speak to Blakey 44 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 2: because there's certain people that are a lot better than 45 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 2: the two of us. 46 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: You were like, you're like a super dad. Yes, that's 47 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: where we put we were chatting this morning. We're like 48 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: where we put Blake on the Dad's whack right at 49 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 1: the top here for just frock level and just you're 50 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: always out and about your kids and you do it. 51 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 1: We all look at them and think, oh fuck, I'd 52 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: love to get out there. 53 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,239 Speaker 2: You've got and you've got like a presence you come 54 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: in and you just it's godlike not to pass your ego. 55 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 4: Nah, we were that man. I'm just I'm just like 56 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 4: everyone else, just trying to figure it out. 57 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 2: You know, he's humble as well. 58 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:56,399 Speaker 1: Exactly what super dad. Let's go back. We start these 59 00:02:56,440 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: episodes with finding out about the man, the version of 60 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: the man. Do you remember the worst trouble you got 61 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: in as a kid? 62 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 4: I stayed out of trouble was in the ocean so much, 63 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 4: you know, like of my parents. I remembers calling my 64 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 4: brother the word an eight year old shouldn't stay. It's 65 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 4: like the only time my dad ever slapped me. Imagine 66 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 4: having five boys and just bickering over a TV remote 67 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 4: and one of them just wears off his head like 68 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 4: after work and his ass a full day like I mean, 69 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 4: I definitely deserved it. 70 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 1: Where were you in the five? 71 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 4: Was in the middle? Yeah, like you man after my 72 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 4: own heart. 73 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: Matt's one of five. There is a there is a 74 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: sister in there who was the rat bag of the group. 75 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: But you've got four brothers and you're right in the middle. 76 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: I can imagine how crazy the house would have been. 77 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 4: It was pretty hectic. Yeah, And look, dad was a builder. 78 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 4: He and they did their own renovations at home throughout 79 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 4: how much hold. We moved around a lot of houses, 80 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 4: and it was always hectic. My oldest brother's eight years older, 81 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 4: my youngest brother's six years younger, so there's like a 82 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 4: thirty your age gaps. So I was right in the 83 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 4: middle of my big brothers peeking on me, bashing me, 84 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 4: looking after me. And then my little brother's been as 85 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 4: tall as me when I was six or seven, And 86 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 4: there was always something going on. 87 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: And you always lived in Cronola. Tell us what Cronola 88 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,119 Speaker 1: means to you? 89 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,719 Speaker 4: Everything to me. I swear my grandparents moved to before 90 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 4: my dad was born, and he grew up and was, 91 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 4: you know, a real respected surfer and part of the 92 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 4: community when he was younger, and it's where I've grown up. 93 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 4: My wife grew up. She went to school in the city. 94 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 4: I didn't even meet her till I was like twenty 95 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 4: twenty one, but her and her family have grown up 96 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,280 Speaker 4: in the area and I just absolutely love it, you know. 97 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 2: So before I talk about your wife, I do want 98 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 2: to ask growing up with the little boys in the house, 99 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 2: I have vivid memories. There's one scenario where I was 100 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,279 Speaker 2: wrestling my brother. I decided to wrestle him with a 101 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 2: bag over his head and he ran through the wall 102 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,039 Speaker 2: and it was like, fuck, we got to try and 103 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 2: fix this before Dad comes home. We were just constantly 104 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 2: breaking things. Was it similar to you guys that were 105 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 2: you know, there's a lot of testosterone with things off 106 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 2: and breaking. 107 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,599 Speaker 4: Yeah, there was. But Dad would always be there to 108 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 4: fix it when he got home to work, and he 109 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 4: was mellow too, like we never my mum would say 110 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 4: wait till Dad gets home, and we'd be like sweet. 111 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 4: It was the crusiest gentle, you know. He's a big 112 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 4: sixty six two and solid and so not like me. 113 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 4: But he was a real placid soul, you know. It 114 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 4: was it was he was calm to my madness. 115 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: He was quite a good surfer too. Is he your 116 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: biggest influence you think? 117 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,799 Speaker 4: I think him and my older brothers. I just wanted 118 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 4: to hang out with them, you know. I was hanging 119 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 4: out with the little brothers at home and going to 120 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 4: primary school, and they were all sponsored and surfing the dad. 121 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 4: When Dad got that spare time between his busy schedule, 122 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 4: and it got me time with dad. Because he works 123 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 4: so much, it was just an extra time. I just 124 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,479 Speaker 4: wanted to be around him, and surfing was a way 125 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 4: to do that. And then as soon as I put 126 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 4: the ball on my head and went over the heill, 127 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 4: I was like freedom. 128 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: Yeah right. 129 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 2: And you mentioned your wife before. Do you remember where 130 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 2: you were when the two of you first met? 131 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, I do. I saw her once at a party 132 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 4: about three weeks before I actually was introduced to her, 133 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 4: and she was dressed up. I don't know, she was 134 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 4: dressed up. She looked really cute. I remember saying, man, 135 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 4: she's she's gorgeous. And then we had a boxing day 136 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 4: bash we feel the mates had a little muck around 137 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 4: surfing camp and she came down with a bunch of 138 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 4: her friends and was there. She was again. I'm like, 139 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 4: she's cool, she's cute and from that day. Obviously, I 140 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 4: didn't make much of an impression because all I remember 141 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 4: learning was that she said, why that dude got a 142 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 4: tattoo of a girl in his back? Can't of get one? 143 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 4: I was like, eighteen, got my second tatoo, thought I 144 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 4: was pretty cool. 145 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,160 Speaker 2: Who was the girl in the back? 146 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:40,840 Speaker 4: It was just a pin up girl that I thought 147 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 4: was cool. I was like, eighteen, Yeah, it's just my shoulder. 148 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:45,479 Speaker 4: I love this. 149 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: It's funny when you're like age and you get the 150 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: worst tattoos. Oh my god. 151 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 2: I wanted to say I love the tattoo. 152 00:06:54,080 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 4: Like what happened after that? And then like a week 153 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 4: later on Newsay, we've had a friend's gathering for that, 154 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 4: and that happened to be a birthday, and I just, 155 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 4: like a seven year old, I don't. I never liked 156 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 4: the taste of beer. I've never That's probably why. Like 157 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 4: when I was younger, I got drunk early and went 158 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 4: home and you probably missed it on some sick nights. 159 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 4: But I'd never like the taste of beer, So I'd 160 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 4: scullet and be sending myself home at ten o'clock. Well 161 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 4: the mates to go out in the town or whatever. 162 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 4: But so I had like a six pack of Vo Cruises, 163 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 4: probably probably a watermelon flavor. 164 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: And I said to my Guama. 165 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 4: Said to my mate, take give that to Prayers. That's 166 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 4: her last name. Give that to present say tell her. 167 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 4: I said hi, and he did it, and then she 168 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 4: came over and it was her birthday and she wanted 169 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 4: to come over and chat and said, you know, she 170 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 4: saw me the other day and that was where we 171 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 4: first met and hung out for the next six months 172 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 4: before we officially went out. 173 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, like a cruises there you go. 174 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 4: It's that pretty easy at bringing people together. 175 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: I mean, you've got an incredible journey in surfing, You've 176 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: based your whole life around it. You were you competing 177 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: when you met your wife. 178 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 4: I was sort of at crossroads like I was. You know, 179 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 4: it wasn't close to qualifying for the World Tour. I 180 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 4: was still getting paid a little bit, and I was 181 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 4: starting to work at the surf shop and had an idea, 182 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 4: said on a surf school because it ran alongside the 183 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 4: surf shop I was working in, And I thought, I 184 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 4: just I don't want to be stuck on a building 185 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 4: site with dad and laboring and doing a trade. I 186 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 4: want to be with people out in nature, and I 187 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 4: love people, and I loved obviously love surfing. You know, 188 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 4: I wasn't sure who, you know, where my direction was 189 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 4: going to end up, because I'd been paid to surf 190 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 4: since I was fourteen, left school early and did quite well, 191 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 4: you know, but I was at that time was a 192 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 4: pretty I guess I was a bit of an identity 193 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 4: CRISI at that point, you know, just go, I'm not 194 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 4: a pro surfer anymore. That's what I've always been. Where 195 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 4: do I head now? You know? But then, yeah, the 196 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 4: surf school I came up. 197 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: You purchased a whole lot. 198 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 4: Yeah. And then the owner, Dog Marshall, was a pro 199 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 4: surf as well, a bit of a mentor of mine. 200 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 4: He moved to France with his wife. It was from there, 201 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 4: and then he later goes, I'm want to sell it, 202 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 4: and so I bought the other half of him. And 203 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 4: that was twenty years ago. 204 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 2: I imagine with the surf school you would have dealt 205 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 2: with a lot of younger kids. Did that help or 206 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 2: hinder your appetite to have a family. 207 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 4: No, I've always wanted to, always wanted a big family, 208 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 4: coming from a I had an epic childhood, like as 209 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 4: hard as it would have been for mum and dad 210 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 4: and as much you know, we didn't have a lot 211 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 4: of money at all. We never went on holidays, but 212 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 4: we always had nice clothes and the toys we wanted 213 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,199 Speaker 4: was if we needed money for a surfboard, somehow to 214 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,839 Speaker 4: come up and we'd all have our boards and stuff. 215 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 4: We were well looked after. Our parents put us first 216 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 4: and I've ever written debt for them for that. You know, 217 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 4: I would change a thing about my childhood. Obviously, you 218 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 4: learn a lot as you go older, and and this 219 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 4: is not the plug it, but you know, I've got 220 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,800 Speaker 4: a book coming out and that that process has really 221 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 4: made me go back and evaluate. And the biggest lesson 222 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,719 Speaker 4: in self discovery was actually analyzing my childhood and my 223 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 4: relationships and everything and who I am who I am 224 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 4: And yeah, there's a lot to take. 225 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 2: Away from I imagine though, when you value what you do, 226 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 2: being outdoors, being so active, did the thought of it 227 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 2: end of your mind of like, well, if I have 228 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 2: a family that can take away from being able to 229 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 2: do all the things that I love. 230 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,440 Speaker 4: No, never, No, I wanted to give them the life 231 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 4: that I had, you know, I wanted to make sure 232 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 4: that they if I was bringing someone in the well 233 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 4: that they got to experience in a special life. And 234 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 4: because I've always been grateful for it, you know, like 235 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 4: I've always been super appreciative of the opportunities I've got, 236 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 4: maybe because I've come from a big family and had 237 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 4: a fight for a lot when I was a grown 238 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 4: but I was always kept in check because of my 239 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 4: two older brothers. Yeah, keeping my head from getting too big. 240 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: And I see that when I got to surf with 241 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 1: you and Bobby, your elders, and you could see that 242 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: you were just like mates and you were enjoying the 243 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 1: moment together. I sat there with you for five hours, 244 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: and that whole five hour time, you were just feeding 245 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: off each other. 246 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 4: Yeah. But that's something that I sort of learned over 247 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 4: the years, you know what I mean, through my own 248 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,600 Speaker 4: I had it, on the use cliche turmable, my own journey, 249 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 4: a sort of self discovery, where like you become more 250 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 4: empathetic with yourself and you learn that you know, everyone's 251 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 4: just trying to figure it out. So the kids, you know, 252 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 4: we instruct them, we coach them, we teach them, and 253 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 4: we tell them to do everything, but we don't experience 254 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 4: life with them and it's different how it is now 255 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,440 Speaker 4: than it was ten, fifteen, twenty thirty years ago, you know. 256 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 4: So I think it's important about embracing what they're going 257 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 4: through and being empathetic to their journey to yours as well. 258 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 4: And that seems to what helps me with my relationship 259 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 4: with my kids. 260 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: And yeah, so when you first had Bobby and did 261 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,320 Speaker 1: he just come along with you immediately on all the 262 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,119 Speaker 1: you know, you have surf camps and surf sessions and yeah. 263 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,560 Speaker 4: Like, I'm definitely far from a millionaire, but I've got 264 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 4: I feel like I'm the luckiest, richest personal life. I've 265 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 4: got to be down the beach for a job, even 266 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 4: though that can be really training with the weather and 267 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,200 Speaker 4: running a small business, but doing serve retreats overseas, and 268 00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 4: the purpose of that is so my wife can tag 269 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 4: into a week at the end, you know, you know 270 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 4: what I mean, and Bobby can come along. And it's 271 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 4: it's just that lifestyle and experience that I think we remember, 272 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,199 Speaker 4: and I think that that's what it's all about, right, 273 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 4: What we feel, our emotions and stuff are based on 274 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 4: the experiences that we have. That's what we left over with. 275 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,559 Speaker 4: Once we do something cool or fun are exciting. 276 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,440 Speaker 1: It's for sure. 277 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 4: It's not the shiny gift or the car or the house. 278 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 4: It's like what the feeling it gives us. And yeah, 279 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 4: we look in the wrong places a lot of the 280 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 4: time for where we get that. 281 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 2: I remember trying to introduce Marley, who's my eldest daughter. 282 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 2: She's now six, but I think she must have been 283 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,839 Speaker 2: about four, and I was kind of like, she's ready 284 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 2: now to like, you know, push her on a little 285 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 2: wave on the phone, and I was like, yeah, this 286 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 2: is like this is going to be special core memory stuff, 287 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 2: and I like pushed her and she kind of too 288 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 2: close to those the bard has flipped up in the 289 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 2: she's got a mouthful of water up the nose. She's 290 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 2: come up screaming, and I'm like, maybe it was a 291 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 2: bit too key. 292 00:12:57,679 --> 00:12:59,679 Speaker 1: We've all done that. I did that with Oscar too, 293 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: even when he was like yeah, five or something like 294 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,079 Speaker 1: last summer, and I was like, all right, it's time. 295 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 4: You're gonna love this. 296 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 1: Love it. It's like your father and the forefathers before 297 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 1: you all did this. And it was like my old 298 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: man's kind of like blaky super froth. He was like 299 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: his oscol surfing yet like, and I pushed him on 300 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: tiny little same thing. Man. I think it it's a 301 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: right of passage really to get to those dives at 302 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: that age. 303 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 2: But I was thinking, am I doing it wrong? 304 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 1: Exactly the right thing? 305 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 4: I think that's all I've been super aware of. Bobby's 306 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 4: only really started loving and frothing surfing in the last 307 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 4: eight months. He has gone to high school and he's 308 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 4: in that environment. All his mates are surfing, and who 309 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 4: he's been hanging out with has really influenced that. And 310 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 4: he's I put him on his first wave on the 311 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 4: Phoney when he was eight months old. He's been down 312 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 4: the beach more more days than he hasn't. So it's 313 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 4: just like I've learned that it's it's my passion and 314 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 4: my love. And if he's got the opportunity, you know, 315 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 4: I've exposed him the ocean he's comfortable down, then if 316 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 4: he ever felt that, you know, that urge to pick 317 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 4: up the board and put some time into it and 318 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 4: really enjoy it and be a passion of his, then 319 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,600 Speaker 4: it's up to him. 320 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 321 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 4: And I learned that through being a coach, right through 322 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 4: being coached as a junior, seeing relationships how they plan 323 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 4: out after twenty thirty years have been around surf evans 324 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 4: and surfing in the beach, So it's become really something 325 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 4: that I was really conscious of, just you know, making 326 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 4: sure that I was staying in my lane. Like I'm 327 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 4: a parent, and I know even at an elite level, 328 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 4: how important that role is. But it just gets blurred 329 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 4: a lot, you know, And I think that's really critical 330 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 4: to it. You want what you want your kids to 331 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 4: like what you want. 332 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're going, who wants to play cricket? My 333 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 1: girls have sixty j He serves so well, like for 334 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: only really, like you said, like being that into it 335 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: for the last eight months shredding. 336 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 4: And I think that's just the exposure of him being 337 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 4: around the ocean, you know, and no expectations. When we 338 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 4: go down the beach, he wants to body He can 339 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 4: body board a body surf for his mates build castles. 340 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 4: But I guess sooner later they figure out it's pretty 341 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 4: fun out there. Man. I might grab a ball and 342 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 4: come up with dad. 343 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 344 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 2: When I think about my two girls, they are very different. 345 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 2: Like one is like Laura, one is like me. 346 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 1: I even look one looks like yeah different. 347 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 2: What's it like with your two boys. Are they cut 348 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 2: from the same cloth or are they opposites? They are 349 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 2: complete opposites. 350 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, Bobby's like me, wears his heart on his sleeve, 351 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 4: pretty emotional. 352 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: So I didn't see that. The other day. 353 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, in the pool he did something so cool. He 354 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 4: I'm like, mate, I don't want to get angry at him. 355 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 4: It's not my place. He's one of the experience. I'm like, mate, 356 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 4: you're carrying on like this is not Surfain's about. I 357 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 4: had that conversation with about ten times. And one day 358 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 4: I was surfing one morning and he missed a few 359 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 4: ways and he's splashed the water and he disappeared, and 360 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, where's he going. Hopefully he's not injured 361 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 4: his head, but the wall or whatever. And he pat 362 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 4: it back out at fifteen minutes, and I guess see, Dad, 363 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 4: I went in and I took some breaths, and I 364 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 4: took some time, and I came back out smart. And 365 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 4: You're like, yes, yes, mate, Like that's so proud of 366 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 4: him for doing that. You know, to be aware of 367 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 4: how he's behaving and do that. 368 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 2: So your other's son, Duke Duke, does he share the 369 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 2: same passion for surfing. 370 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 4: Jukey. He's always been exposed to it like Bobby, but 371 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 4: he's he loves his art. He's right into his drawing 372 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 4: and and gets we have to turn the lights off 373 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 4: at nights. They go to bed mate and go jump 374 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 4: into bed. He's still trying to draw in the dark, 375 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 4: like he's innately drawn to it. It's really really cool 376 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 4: and we encourage that, you know, like whatever he wants 377 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 4: to do. He served in the pool with us once 378 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 4: in the month and he had fun. He got pretty 379 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 4: freaking cold, but he was happy sitting in the room 380 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 4: drawing his things. But he's very different. He's he's his 381 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,200 Speaker 4: own boss. Like he's always been the little boss baby, 382 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 4: that's what we call him when he was young. He's 383 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 4: his own little person. And if it's his way or 384 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 4: no way, and and and he's too he's slowly becoming 385 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 4: aware of things that affect him with his behavior and stuff. 386 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 4: Like he's very it's a bit more serious than Bobby. 387 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 4: Bobby's a little bit more emotional and hard on his sleeve. 388 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 4: And Duke, can you know who tell you how it is? 389 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 4: And you know, he's taught me a lot, Jikey like 390 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,919 Speaker 4: just Bobby's a lot like me. I can kind of 391 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 4: know how he's feeling, but Jik's a bit more like Lauren, 392 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 4: a bit more, a bit more in tune with his 393 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 4: emotions and knows how he's behaving. But yeah, it's it's, 394 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 4: it's it's it's an interesting come away. It's just you 395 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 4: think he raised it the same, but it's a different 396 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 4: experience for them too. Write like, sure at a different 397 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 4: point in our lives by the time our second or 398 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 4: the kid comes along, so they're going to get a 399 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 4: different version of us as well. 400 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. 401 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 2: Do you have to make a conscious effort because I 402 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 2: imagine it'd be so easy to have quality time whilst 403 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 2: you're surfing doing the things that you love. Do you 404 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 2: have to kind of pay attention to do things that 405 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,480 Speaker 2: might not be the first on your list on your 406 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 2: spare time and things too, like drawing, having that one 407 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:49,920 Speaker 2: on one time with Duke. 408 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's super important. Hey, like to make sure 409 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 4: that there's not a one sided affair with the kids 410 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 4: or just giving him because I want to, you know 411 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 4: what I mean, I actually want to and interested in 412 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 4: it as well, and I love that it's something different 413 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 4: almost as well that I'm so surf beach, ocean, nature, outdoors, 414 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 4: that it's something different like sort of which is interesting 415 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 4: to me, you know what I mean as art what 416 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 4: classes he can do and what he's interested in drawing, 417 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 4: and where does he get his creativity from, and like 418 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 4: all this stuff that I don't think I'm very creative 419 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 4: at all. And he's drawing these cool heads with half 420 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 4: the brain and drawing what's in their mind and the 421 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 4: things they like to do. And I'm like, where did 422 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 4: you think of this stuff from buddy? This is beautiful, 423 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 4: you know, like they just embracing what they're good at. 424 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:32,679 Speaker 4: You know. 425 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: So not long after talking about Bobby, not long after 426 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 1: he was born, you received some pretty devastating news. Do 427 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: you mind taking us back to the moment that you 428 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 1: found out about your dad? 429 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was Bobby was about eighteen months old, and 430 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 4: I was doing a surf retreat down the South Coast 431 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,360 Speaker 4: and we're on the way back in the car and 432 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 4: it was epic weekend. I take a lot of intermediate 433 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,200 Speaker 4: surfers down there and do like a swell being thing. 434 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 4: We did breathwork and surfing and so it's always a 435 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,880 Speaker 4: really good environment. And I'm coming home on the Sunday afternoon, 436 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 4: and the sception was pretty bad, and my sister in 437 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 4: lawa range who didn't really ring me that often, said 438 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 4: a blake, I'm sorry and just cut out and then 439 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 4: got to the top of Mountains Well and gong and 440 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 4: she said, I'm so sorry in tears me, your Dad's gone. 441 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 4: And I kind of just felt completely sick in that moment, 442 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 4: and I kind of what's happened. Dad's gone. He's passed away, 443 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 4: still about an hour away from Mum and Dad's place, 444 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 4: like clients from the circle in the car, Lauren in 445 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 4: the car with me, and I've just you know, it 446 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:45,200 Speaker 4: was a pretty much a blur, an instant, just sick feeling. 447 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 4: I don't remember much of that next hour. I don't 448 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 4: remember what happened to the clients I was driving. And 449 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:54,679 Speaker 4: then I remember getting back to yeah, Mum and Dad's 450 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 4: place and just being a crime scene. I read ambulance 451 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 4: and police car scattered in the street and Mum andm 452 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 4: hysterical being being you know, looked after by the paramedics 453 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 4: and stuff on the front. My brother's in tears and 454 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 4: just gone. I knew exactly what had happened, you know, 455 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 4: Dad's that's obviously taking his own life, and then rushed through, 456 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 4: tried to rush through the doors. Just it's just a 457 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,159 Speaker 4: total survival mode, just trying to figure out what to 458 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 4: make some sense at all. I was held back by 459 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 4: the police and my brother's already been there for an 460 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 4: hour or whatever. I'm not sure exactly what time happened, 461 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 4: and then just punched the brick walls as hard as 462 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 4: hell as I could and just, yeah, it was, it was, 463 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 4: it was. It was pretty hectic, and it was. Yeah, 464 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 4: it was. It still feels like a dream talking about it, 465 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 4: you know, and I can vividly remember it, almost feel it. 466 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:51,199 Speaker 4: And just after settling down after a few moments, the 467 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 4: police obviously do you want to you want to see 468 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,880 Speaker 4: your dad? And I said, I want to see it, 469 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 4: and yeah, just walked through the house with the light's 470 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 4: flu and through it was quiet. Normally they had thirteen 471 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 4: grandkids at that stage, you know what I mean, There's 472 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 4: always someone there when we went to visit him, so 473 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 4: it was eerially quiet and just yeah, just the lights 474 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,119 Speaker 4: flashing through the windows as I walked around through the 475 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:13,880 Speaker 4: house and around to the back of the garage and 476 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 4: saw him on the gurney, and yeah, it was definitely 477 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:27,200 Speaker 4: a really a really weird feeling because it was it 478 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 4: was he was not just my dad, he was my mate. 479 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 4: It was mates to all my brothers. It was humble, 480 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,479 Speaker 4: he was he was just the sikest. It was the 481 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,119 Speaker 4: best dad. And we hung out with him because we 482 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 4: wanted to, not because he was you know, we all 483 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,439 Speaker 4: pop in and see him. We all had our own 484 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:44,679 Speaker 4: relationship with him. And he just worked so much, you 485 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 4: know what I mean, he was in a position and 486 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 4: he just for me. It was like, this is the 487 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,159 Speaker 4: saddest thing I've ever seen. At the time, he was 488 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,640 Speaker 4: at rest. Someone who's worked his ass off so light, 489 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,800 Speaker 4: so hard for so many decades that never got quite 490 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 4: hit one fucking holiday his whole life. When I turned 491 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 4: thirty one holiday that was It was wild of what 492 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 4: he did, you know, after raising five boys that are 493 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:15,120 Speaker 4: all awesome husbands and awesome, awesome dads the children, and 494 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 4: he couldn't see couldn't see the best in himself. 495 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 2: And I'm so sorry you had to go through that. 496 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,439 Speaker 2: I'm trying to imagine what it must be like in 497 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 2: those moments where it's such an emotional rollercoaster, because one 498 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 2: second you're punching the brick wall. 499 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,160 Speaker 4: You're so angry. 500 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 2: But then a split second, lady, you're face to face 501 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 2: with your father who's just passed away. What emotions are 502 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 2: you feeling when you get to have that final moment 503 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:36,160 Speaker 2: with him? 504 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's there was a part of me that was 505 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,399 Speaker 4: that felt like a sigh of relief. You know, he 506 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 4: was at rest. Paul Baker had finally you know, had 507 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 4: some horass. You look peaceful, and that was that was 508 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,160 Speaker 4: something that It's a weird feeling. You know, that's someone 509 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 4: you love, that you would give anything for, that's done 510 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 4: everything for you and him just couldn't see the best, 511 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 4: but just could feel like he was stuck and couldn't 512 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,119 Speaker 4: break through. And I think for him to have that 513 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 4: rest and be at peace just there was a part 514 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 4: of it that was really peaceful. I guess I don't 515 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 4: know if that makes sense. Yeah, it was just like 516 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 4: you get the rest you deserve, you know, like you just. 517 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 1: Were there any signs were there any? Was it a 518 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 1: complete surprise to you? 519 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,400 Speaker 4: He suffered from pretty bad sleep hap here you had 520 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 4: for years as well. He was a six year old 521 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:34,640 Speaker 4: man that didn't have a super secure financial situation as well. 522 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 4: You know, he'd helped us out a lot and taken 523 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 4: risk on houses. Throughout his life. He had a cool crack. 524 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 4: He was the hardest working man. And I'm not just 525 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,879 Speaker 4: saying that because it was my dad. They gave it 526 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,080 Speaker 4: a good nudge. And I think that being a dad 527 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,359 Speaker 4: now been through what I've been through and the judgment 528 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 4: I've put on myself, imagine what he would have felt like, 529 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 4: you know. And he wasn't over extra herd like me 530 00:23:55,840 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 4: and had to talk. He was stoic, He was quiet, humble, 531 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 4: you know. And I think this because he was so 532 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 4: tired to what he did. He was so tired with 533 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 4: his job. He was a great builder, and all my 534 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 4: mates that he'd give work to loved him. All his 535 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,879 Speaker 4: work people loved him. His family obviously adored him. And 536 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 4: he just didn't have anything outside that as well, you 537 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 4: know what I mean. He didn't have a group of mates, 538 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 4: He didn't have that other way the conversations could happen. 539 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 4: Like he was so admired by us that even if 540 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 4: he could, I don't think he could have articulated it 541 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 4: the way that he needed to. You know that in 542 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 4: that space that he's embarrassed about taking and he depressed 543 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 4: a medication because obviously the sleep affects his mental health. 544 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,439 Speaker 4: And then the stress of everyday life. You know, I 545 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 4: think it's a combination. It's not just one thing, you know. 546 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 4: But he was so useful, you know what I mean. 547 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 4: And the whole point of it is that he didn't 548 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 4: realize how valued he was, you know, how I valued. 549 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,160 Speaker 4: And that's the massive thing. 550 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:52,399 Speaker 1: You know. 551 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 4: It was two hundred and fifty people at his funeral 552 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 4: and the guy and never went to the pub to 553 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 4: have a beer. He have a beer at home with 554 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 4: the grandkids and do his thing. Felt you know, on 555 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 4: that holiday he went, Yeah, he felt guilty having a day. 556 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,880 Speaker 4: N I'm like, man, I have a day, nap. Man, 557 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,040 Speaker 4: you haven't had a holiday in your life. You deserve 558 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 4: everything you get, you know. 559 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,679 Speaker 2: It's wild how you can have someone who does so 560 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 2: much for so many other people around him, and his 561 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,360 Speaker 2: network and his family, and that you're you're missing out 562 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,440 Speaker 2: and helping the most important person, which. 563 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,719 Speaker 4: Is yourself, showing up for yourself first, sure for everyone 564 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 4: else before him. Like similar to my mum. Did you 565 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 4: know she was selfless as well? But dad was obviously 566 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 4: and my mom's like, man, she talks a bit more 567 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 4: and she's a bit more always hard on a sleeve. 568 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 4: So it's different with the dad. He's like a couple 569 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 4: of my other brothers are a bit more quiet and 570 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,200 Speaker 4: more reserved in that sense. And I think that's that's 571 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 4: something that I've learned, so that vulnerability doesn't just have 572 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 4: to be about talking like like I do and an 573 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 4: expressing your feeling. He can be through action too, like 574 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 4: actually wanting to make change and whatever that may look like, 575 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,199 Speaker 4: you know, thank you, diet, starting to exercise, you know, 576 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 4: changing jobs and doing something for yourself that's looking to 577 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 4: fulfill you and you're putting yourself first, because I think 578 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 4: that's what drives me too. Just thinking about Dad, I'm like, 579 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 4: You've got to be able to look after yourself first 580 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,920 Speaker 4: and have a good relationship with yourself in order to 581 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 4: show up for your wife and then that la from 582 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 4: flourish for your kids and everyone you care about. 583 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 2: You know, prior to this happening, had you always focused 584 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 2: on mental health or was that the starting point do 585 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 2: you think for you and your journey towards advocating for it. 586 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 4: Nah, Look this must sound strange, but like I've always 587 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 4: been a sensitive human, like always sensitive and empathetic towards others, 588 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,359 Speaker 4: Like when I was young, and it's you don't know 589 00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 4: where that sits. Man, I'm a rap and a family 590 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:49,480 Speaker 4: full of boys in the shire, pursuing a career in 591 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 4: elite surfing on a wallaware high and going, you know, 592 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 4: and you don't know where what that is, whether it's 593 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 4: is it a curse, what is it like? But you know, 594 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 4: I've learned through the life that through experience that like 595 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 4: it's actually a strength, you know, and him to have that, 596 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 4: to have that sensitivity in my experience, I feel, I feel, 597 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,440 Speaker 4: I feel everything I feel and then luck at that 598 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 4: word sensitive might not be the right way to do it. 599 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 4: But I feel people's pain and I feel my own 600 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,200 Speaker 4: pain deeply, you know, the good and the bad, and 601 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,160 Speaker 4: I'm just very aware of it. And so I think 602 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 4: that's where like I've always had a relationship with the kids. 603 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,680 Speaker 4: I emphathize with them. I work with them at the 604 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 4: cur school. And You've always been a bit of a feelers. 605 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, And it is a strength for sure. 606 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: You've been able to, you know, relate to how people 607 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,919 Speaker 1: are feeling in the moment is a gift, like so 608 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 1: many people don't don't they avoid it? You know? And 609 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: I think if you can lend some experience or lend 610 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,440 Speaker 1: an ear to someone, it's it's so fucking powerful. 611 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, And there's not one there's not one magic peal 612 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 4: for it. Mental health and your life and your happiness 613 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,119 Speaker 4: and your experience is accommodation of so many things and relationships, 614 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:11,679 Speaker 4: your hobbies and all these things that add up to 615 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 4: you enjoying your existence. So it's yeah, I think that 616 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,199 Speaker 4: we think so much, we get so caught up in 617 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 4: our heads and our thoughts that we forget what our 618 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 4: bodies and our experiences has gone outside. I think life's 619 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 4: meant to be should be gaged off how we feel, 620 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,159 Speaker 4: not what we think about it. 621 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:32,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, when you talk about the healing process with your 622 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,880 Speaker 2: your dad passing away, was there anything that helped you? 623 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 4: I think you've got to You've got to go through it. 624 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 4: You've got to feel the range of every emotion. I'm 625 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 4: sure did you know, anger, guilt, frustration, disappointment, everything that 626 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:47,840 Speaker 4: you kind of go to the depths of with it. 627 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 4: You know, you're in that survival mode for a lot 628 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 4: of it. 629 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 2: But then going through those emotions, you've got an eighteen 630 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 2: month old as well, Yeah, you're in the trenches. 631 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 4: Eighteen month old. We had we opened a surf shop 632 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 4: that closed down, and you know, life was still good, 633 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 4: like I like, for me, I was I was still 634 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 4: serfing a bit. I wasn't as healthy as I am now, 635 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 4: that's for sure. You know, I had a beautiful wife, 636 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 4: you know, another kid that was coming on the way. 637 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,920 Speaker 4: And it's not until now that where I've made you 638 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 4: become more self aware. I made these simple changes in 639 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 4: my day to day life that I go back in 640 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,440 Speaker 4: morem manut to. Health wasn't good. It wasn't like I 641 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 4: was there going I'm depressed, I'm anxious. I'm sure I 642 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 4: went to the doctors say oh I'm not feeling good. 643 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 4: I could feel better. There's a history of mental mental 644 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,840 Speaker 4: illness in my family, but it's near. It's not until 645 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 4: like now I'm like, well, hey, that wasn't good mental health. 646 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 4: Ruminating on the circol bank balance and checking it ten 647 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 4: times a day is not healthy habits. It's not normal 648 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 4: even for someone that's got you know that there is 649 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 4: feeling anxiety. 650 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 2: I can't imagine it's the financial stress. 651 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 4: And I just like I've always had a bit of 652 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 4: like a chip on my shoulder about Lauren just being 653 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,560 Speaker 4: this beautiful thing, and I wanted to give her a 654 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 4: castle on the hill and we sold some units invested 655 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 4: in the shop and so school gets quiet. It could 656 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 4: be stressful. It's just just a combination of things that 657 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,600 Speaker 4: really led to as well. And I just think that 658 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 4: knowing what I do now, how accessible these things, these 659 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 4: these things to look after ourselves are that everyone, even 660 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 4: if they feel like they've got a pretty good life, 661 00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 4: they can take it to another level. You know. It's 662 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 4: the whole spectrum of mental health where it's not these 663 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,600 Speaker 4: big events that I do, all these big moments, it's 664 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 4: the day to day stuff that that create that shapes you. 665 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 4: And I think that's that's the message, you know. I mean, 666 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 4: I'm always say but I'm definitely no one special, but 667 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 4: we can all do special. 668 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 1: That's a lie, not at all. 669 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:36,560 Speaker 4: Maybe I'm not articulating it right. 670 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 2: I mean, obviously you have to stay humble when you 671 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 2: say you're not special. It's like that's a fucking lie. 672 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 4: Like you, I believe in other people more than they 673 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 4: do in themselves, man, And that's what drives me to 674 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 4: even you know, I'm write a book that's pretty cool man. 675 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 4: I just never thought that would have happened without a thing, 676 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 4: and I just it's just hard to be in my 677 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 4: position not want to sound cliche or try and you know, 678 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,680 Speaker 4: avoid that impossib you know. But just like we're so 679 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,719 Speaker 4: much more capable than what we're told. The way that 680 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,719 Speaker 4: the world structured that it limits us as well, you know. 681 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 1: So I think, like what Matt's coming from is your 682 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 1: self awareness about who you are and who you think 683 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 1: everyone can be around you is what makes you. 684 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,400 Speaker 4: It's a gift. It's a gift. 685 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 2: You're probably sitting there going the boy's got to stop trying. 686 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 1: But it's it's it's it's crazy because like I've only really, 687 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 1: i've only known you. I've known of you for a 688 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: long long time, but I've only known you since I've 689 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: been able to get in the water with you. And 690 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 1: just that moment that you're so self aware in yourself 691 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,720 Speaker 1: and so level hump everyone else up around you, it's 692 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 1: fucking amazing. I mean, that moment when you know you 693 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 1: had to experience such great loss, it's spurred you again 694 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 1: and then on this path that people watch you go 695 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: whole ship. 696 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 4: Like I always sort of did believe in myself a 697 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,480 Speaker 4: little bit. I thought there was I was here for 698 00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 4: a reason to help other people. I didn't know what 699 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,000 Speaker 4: that looked like at all, and I didn't know that 700 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 4: I'd have to go through the loss of my dad 701 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 4: and friends and that to realize my purpose was to 702 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 4: help people see the best in themselves, and just finding 703 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:13,520 Speaker 4: my own language and be able to speak to people 704 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 4: where they're at, you know. And I say that I 705 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 4: mean everything I say. I think anyone can go out 706 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,520 Speaker 4: there and say that they're authentic and do all this 707 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 4: sort of stuff, but I mean I like to think 708 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 4: I live it, you know what I mean that I 709 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 4: said an example, and I've learned to like all the 710 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 4: bits about me, even even the ship bits. And I 711 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 4: think that's when it comes to being empathetic towards yourself. 712 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 1: And you just mentioned before that there's not there isn't 713 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 1: one thing that fixes mental health, and there isn't There 714 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 1: absolutely isn't. But is there something that you think personally 715 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,360 Speaker 1: that really really helps you that could help out it. 716 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,400 Speaker 4: I think it's so simple. I think it's changing your environment, 717 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 4: you know, Like I said before, like what you feel 718 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 4: and your emotions at are based on the experience that 719 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 4: you're having. If you're sitting there laying in bed, you're 720 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 4: ruminating your thinking and getting out and connecting with nature 721 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,320 Speaker 4: and embodying the experience that we haven't not just caught 722 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,920 Speaker 4: up in our head. And that's where you know, the 723 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,040 Speaker 4: brains is doing what it's designed to do, keep us alive, 724 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 4: warn us. It's amazing, incredible, but it's also going to 725 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 4: be so detrimental in a bad pattern and things aren't 726 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 4: going our way, you know, so, and then being with 727 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,080 Speaker 4: the people, you know what I mean, Like, you can't 728 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,480 Speaker 4: underestimate that it can seem so vague the way people 729 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 4: talk about community and everything, but it's really as meaningful connections. 730 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 4: Having them is vital. You know, where you don't recognize 731 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,479 Speaker 4: if someone's not feeling good if you only see them 732 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,360 Speaker 4: once a month. You know what you say you care 733 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:39,160 Speaker 4: about someone, those relationships that you that you can have 734 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 4: the effort, you make the effort from you know, I 735 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,479 Speaker 4: think that I think we don't take on that personal 736 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,880 Speaker 4: responsibility enough, you know, for ourselves and for the people 737 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 4: that we care about. 738 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: Do you have any chaotic stories from being a dad? 739 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,560 Speaker 1: You've got this calm aura about you, but there's got 740 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 1: to be something where you look back and go, okay, well, 741 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: no one warned me about this. 742 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,840 Speaker 4: It's just like the every day little thing like you know, 743 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,240 Speaker 4: like how does your heart feel when your kid walks 744 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 4: around the corner at Westfield and you can't find it? 745 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 4: For there's things like that, like I'm I'm as much 746 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:14,560 Speaker 4: as you're talking about. I'm I'm pretty not so irresponsible, 747 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,799 Speaker 4: but I'm unorganized a bit. Like that's good, So like 748 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 4: just forgetting to take you pack your kids, just just 749 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,839 Speaker 4: it's more more of that stuff, you know that day 750 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 4: to day like a little bit of being a little 751 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,600 Speaker 4: bit responsible at times and being so caught up and 752 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,759 Speaker 4: frothing around and let's go to the beach to this, 753 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,880 Speaker 4: let's go to the playpark, let's and then you just 754 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,440 Speaker 4: end up forgetting the kids clothes and nappy. Is just 755 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 4: just I guess that was, you know, what everyone else 756 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,800 Speaker 4: experienced as well, but probably more than I put myself 757 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 4: through more torture just by being such a froth and 758 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 4: always wanting to be on the moon. 759 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:56,160 Speaker 2: We're talking about torture. You've just been torturing yourself for 760 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 2: the last month. When did you come up with the 761 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,440 Speaker 2: idea to break your recent record. 762 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,160 Speaker 4: Urban approached us with the idea about two and a 763 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,560 Speaker 4: half weeks before actually paddled out on the first of July. 764 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,359 Speaker 2: Talk about preparations and for those who don't know, Urban 765 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,320 Speaker 2: Surf is a wave pool here in Sydney man made, 766 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 2: but two and a half weeks not a lot of 767 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 2: prep time. 768 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,080 Speaker 4: Well, I think it's the lesson versus here is because 769 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,400 Speaker 4: I live healthy every single day, right, Like I'm open, 770 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,719 Speaker 4: I can be walking around and open oppertunes because I'm fit, 771 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:29,839 Speaker 4: I'm healthy, and I'm optimistic because of good mental health. Right, 772 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,279 Speaker 4: So to be able to see this huge challenge thrown 773 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 4: at me and go yes, is I think I'm proud 774 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 4: of that too, you know what I mean? Like if 775 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,960 Speaker 4: I was unfit and wasn't in a good state, or 776 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,680 Speaker 4: I was just you know, I wouldn't be able to 777 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:47,440 Speaker 4: take opportunity like that up. So I think, yeah, it 778 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,960 Speaker 4: was have an epic wife obviously, you know I'm going 779 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,719 Speaker 4: to be in a pool for a month, you know 780 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,520 Speaker 4: what I mean. We were in our prior commitments. We'll 781 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:56,439 Speaker 4: go to the snow to watch Bobby in his first 782 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,680 Speaker 4: inner school snowboarding thing. Juke had soccer on the weekends 783 00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,839 Speaker 4: and then I run a business. It's quiet, it is winter. Yeah, 784 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,719 Speaker 4: you give our staff a lot of the work. So 785 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 4: that was manageable for. 786 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,840 Speaker 2: Anyone who who's not familiar. The official world record is 787 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,640 Speaker 2: it most hours surfed at a wavepool in a month. 788 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,480 Speaker 4: It's anything you want to say that I did that month. 789 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,120 Speaker 4: You know, it's really for me. It was about setting 790 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,600 Speaker 4: a record. There wasn't an official Guinness before that one, 791 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 4: but there was just a guy's done one hundred and 792 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,040 Speaker 4: eight sessions. Do you want to do it? You're a 793 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 4: world record holder, let's call it a world record and 794 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,919 Speaker 4: see what you can do. And it was never about 795 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 4: beating the other guys record, but records was about what 796 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 4: could I do. It's just curiosity. It's not ego driven 797 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,440 Speaker 4: need to get this. It's like I wonder what I 798 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 4: could put my body in my mind through and actually 799 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 4: just your crews to what Because I've done a few 800 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,600 Speaker 4: big adventures before, I know what the body and the 801 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,840 Speaker 4: mind's capable of, and I like testing it and I 802 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,560 Speaker 4: thought this would be another great way to do it. 803 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 4: There was a few question marks with the cold water 804 00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,200 Speaker 4: and just how many waves I could ride and in 805 00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:01,480 Speaker 4: total over the month two and fifty three sessions. 806 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:06,000 Speaker 1: There is absolutely smashed it and it's it was four 807 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,319 Speaker 1: thousand and you actually upped your wave count on the 808 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 1: date the last day on purpose because you will four seven. 809 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,279 Speaker 1: Four thousand and seventy seven was the goal, was it? 810 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,239 Speaker 4: Yeah, four thousand and seven was the goal. And I 811 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 4: needed to do a minimum of one hundred and sixty 812 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,840 Speaker 4: three waves and ten hours a day to do that. 813 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:29,319 Speaker 2: Trying to understand the core of where this crazy appetite 814 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,239 Speaker 2: comes for these endurance events, like it, is it the 815 00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 2: memory of your dad? Is it trying to prove to 816 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,480 Speaker 2: your kids that anything's possible? Is it trying to prove 817 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:37,239 Speaker 2: to yourself. 818 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,400 Speaker 4: No, it's genuinely comes from a place of curiosity, Like 819 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,440 Speaker 4: it generally comes from a place of you know, what 820 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,200 Speaker 4: what can I do? And what can other people do? 821 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,160 Speaker 4: And I guess I just noticed that I could have 822 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,560 Speaker 4: an impact, you know what I mean? Just my dad 823 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,799 Speaker 4: didn't recognize he did and was valued like he was. 824 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:57,719 Speaker 4: And I feel like we need more of that in 825 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,239 Speaker 4: the world. You know, there's enough viding cynicism, and I 826 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,520 Speaker 4: think there's more positivity in the world. Life's going to 827 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,400 Speaker 4: happen to us, right, It's going to happen no matter 828 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:08,320 Speaker 4: how good your life is, for sure. And if we 829 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 4: don't need to focus on that, if we can focus 830 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:14,239 Speaker 4: on being curious to what we can do, and you can, 831 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,720 Speaker 4: you can make things come up, you can make shit happen. 832 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 4: You can really bring things to life. And I'm proof 833 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:20,560 Speaker 4: of that. 834 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,800 Speaker 1: Man, totally, for sure. 835 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 2: Your boys are so incredibly lucky to have such a 836 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 2: great role model as a dad. When they grow up 837 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,400 Speaker 2: and they're no longer living at home, is there anything 838 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,000 Speaker 2: that you would want them to remember about the house 839 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,359 Speaker 2: they grew up in, just. 840 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,840 Speaker 4: That they had the freedom to chase whatever they wanted to. 841 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,040 Speaker 4: My identity is pretty much seen as a surfer, you 842 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,759 Speaker 4: know what I mean, like not to me, but to 843 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,279 Speaker 4: being around the beach, butund the surf. I don't want 844 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:46,719 Speaker 4: them to feel like that to surf. That's why there 845 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,319 Speaker 4: was never that pressure from it. You know, they didn't 846 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,560 Speaker 4: have to enjoy the beach, but is what it was 847 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,399 Speaker 4: that was our lost style and being around as well. 848 00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:54,959 Speaker 4: And it's a safe place, man, It's a safe place 849 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,640 Speaker 4: to be themselves and we encourage them to Like. 850 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,800 Speaker 1: I just want to thank you so much for spending 851 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:03,640 Speaker 1: some time with us today and the last month, been 852 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,200 Speaker 1: able to spend some time with you in the water, 853 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:09,960 Speaker 1: and yeah, it's given me a different perspective on something 854 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,640 Speaker 1: that I feel like I'd taken for granted my whole life, 855 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,040 Speaker 1: which is the ability to be able to serve, the 856 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,399 Speaker 1: ability to be able to be out there and there's 857 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,839 Speaker 1: so much that you get lost. And yeah, so thank you. 858 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:28,320 Speaker 2: He is a god Blakie Johnson, Thank you so much, mate. 859 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 4: Really good. I appreciate it. Thanks brace. 860 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,360 Speaker 1: Your eyes Ash and I was absolutely frog of. 861 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:36,960 Speaker 3: That whole time. 862 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 2: It was nice to see. I'm a huge shout out 863 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 2: to Blakie for a chat that had it all from 864 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,319 Speaker 2: very vulnerable moments. But also want to give a nod 865 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,600 Speaker 2: to the amazing charity work that he does throughout the year. 866 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, he did the world's biggest paddle out raise a 867 00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,759 Speaker 1: lot of money for mental health awareness, which is something 868 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,160 Speaker 1: that's super important and step by step we are closer 869 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,400 Speaker 1: to helping a lot of people, Matt, which is really great. 870 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,080 Speaker 1: He also has a book coming out, Yes, it's wellbeat. 871 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,160 Speaker 2: When is that? It's in October, So that's coming out soon. 872 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,320 Speaker 1: Keep an eye on it. We'll leave some links in 873 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,319 Speaker 1: the show notes. Also to any charities that he supports, or, 874 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,680 Speaker 1: like Bat said, any useful information. If you're struggling with 875 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:14,799 Speaker 1: you metealth, please reach out and. 876 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,640 Speaker 2: If you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it if 877 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,319 Speaker 2: you would give us a little review. A couple of words, 878 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 2: you know, the drill just ten we'll reduce that week 879 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,400 Speaker 2: on week and a month's time was five words, just 880 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,120 Speaker 2: one word, one word, a couple of stars. That's all 881 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,919 Speaker 2: it takes to keep Ash and myself happy. Little young 882 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 2: men very easy. 883 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,239 Speaker 1: Young, I doubt it. But also you can join us 884 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:40,520 Speaker 1: on social speaking of young Instagram, TikTok Two Doting Dads. 885 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,120 Speaker 1: Also the Facebook group is thriving that I've been let 886 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:44,799 Speaker 1: back in. Thank you, Yes, so we. 887 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,480 Speaker 2: Kicked you out because it was your birthday. 888 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,040 Speaker 1: Happy birthday, You're out. 889 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,800 Speaker 2: And if there's any other parents my more dads that 890 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,879 Speaker 2: you'd love us to interview, please reach out and send 891 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,239 Speaker 2: us through your suggestions and we'll see you guys next week. 892 00:40:55,400 --> 00:41:05,120 Speaker 2: BA Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of 893 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:09,279 Speaker 2: country throughout Australia and their connections to land, see and community. 894 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present 895 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,160 Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestrate Islander 896 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:15,960 Speaker 1: peoples today,