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Speaker 1: My name is Aatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations

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Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young

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Speaker 1: Ganya Niana Kaka yah y and beIN ah Waka Nian

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Speaker 1: our gay In Nimbina, yakarum jar Dominyama, Domaga Ithawakaman damon

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Speaker 1: Imlan bomber bang Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghana

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Speaker 1: on yak rum jar Watnadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather

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Speaker 1: on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge

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Speaker 1: and respect the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today.

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Speaker 1: Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that

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Speaker 1: you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country,

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Speaker 1: community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources

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Speaker 1: for you to thrive.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 4: that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits

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Speaker 4: for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one

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Speaker 4: of our money daries, where I get the absolute privilege

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Speaker 4: of sitting down and having a good chat with one

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Speaker 4: of our She's on the Money. Community members, Let's jump

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Speaker 4: straight into it, because this week I got a message

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Speaker 4: and it sounded exactly like this, Dear, she's on the money.

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Speaker 4: My story is one of painful grief combined with postpartum

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Speaker 4: and navigating it all while trying to be an executor

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Speaker 4: of my dad's estate with a co executor who does

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Speaker 4: not have the best of intentions. It's been the year

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Speaker 4: of big lows and highs. With my dad passing away

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Speaker 4: just a week before my son was born, we had

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Speaker 4: to navigate funeral expenses and now finalize his estate, including

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Speaker 4: managing all of his bills and debts and selling my

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Speaker 4: family home to pay for it all. My mum also

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Speaker 4: passed when I was only twenty six. All of this

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Speaker 4: has happened with a new baby, our own mortgage and

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Speaker 4: mortgage and finances to navigate with a send link parental

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Speaker 4: leave pay kicking it into boot. It still feels as

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Speaker 4: though I haven't even been able to properly grieve as

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Speaker 4: I desperately am trying to work my way through all

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Speaker 4: of the administrative burden of it all. Money Diarist, this

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Speaker 4: is awful. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that sounded even more awful when you read it back

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Speaker 4: to me, when you put it down on paper, it

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Speaker 4: just like kind of kicks you in the guts, doesn't it.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's been such a wild at least five years actually,

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Speaker 5: probably since my mum got sick.

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Speaker 4: I was about to say, like with your mom passing,

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Speaker 4: I feel like that it's just like a rollercoaster from then,

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Speaker 4: because like I feel like a postpartum and before you

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Speaker 4: did mention that you have a three year old, You've

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Speaker 4: just been going through it girl.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 5: And I remember thinking back like just before we got engaged,

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Speaker 5: so just before my mum actually got sick, and being like.

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Speaker 2: Wow, our life is just like how lucky are we

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Speaker 2: with so like we're in Hawaii.

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Speaker 5: We got engaged, like everything felt perfect, and then she

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Speaker 5: was diagnosed probably I think six months later or twelve

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Speaker 5: months later, and then from then it was sort of yeah,

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Speaker 5: it just never really got off the really wild rollercoaster.

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Speaker 4: No, it just kept going. I'm so sorry. All right,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to ask the first question before we get

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Speaker 4: into it. If I asked you to give yourself a

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Speaker 4: money grade, what money grade would you give yourself from

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Speaker 4: A through to F.

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Speaker 5: I was thinking well before postpartum. I think I was

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Speaker 5: a B minus probably navigating life. Right now, I'm sitting

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Speaker 5: on a solid C.

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Speaker 4: I would think that right now, navigating all of this,

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Speaker 4: you're solid A like to get through all you just

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Speaker 4: got to have your shit together. I'm sorry, like you

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Speaker 4: might not feel that way, but like it's a lot.

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Speaker 5: Yes, yes, the administrative burden of it all is just huge,

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Speaker 5: Like it's low.

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Speaker 4: It's a hectic. So let's rewind a little bit. I

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Speaker 4: want to know about your money story, but I actually

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Speaker 4: want to know about your mum. You said she when

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Speaker 4: you were only twenty six, and before that you were

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Speaker 4: like in Hawaii celebrating life, and then she got diagnosed

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Speaker 4: I'm assuming with a form of cancer. Talk to me,

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Speaker 4: what happened? Who was your mum?

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Speaker 5: So she was just amazing and yeah, it's lovely to

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Speaker 5: speak about her because you don't get to all that often,

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Speaker 5: especially when they've passed. I guess more than five years ago.

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Speaker 5: They talk about grief in like stages and past five

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Speaker 5: years people kind of stopped saying their names.

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Speaker 2: So thank you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, she was still working, so she was only early

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Speaker 5: sixties at this point. She was a teacher, aide for

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Speaker 5: special needs kids. So she was always so.

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Speaker 4: She was a special human as well. Stop it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, she was always and mum and dad both were

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Speaker 5: like low income earners, you know. She stayed home with

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Speaker 5: me until we went to school and then she got

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Speaker 5: a job at my school sort of thing. So we

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Speaker 5: just pretty much spent all our time together until I

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Speaker 5: was of I guess a young adult and moved out

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Speaker 5: of home after UNI. So, yeah, she unfortunately got diagnosed

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Speaker 5: with cancer while still working in her early sixties.

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Speaker 2: She had bow cancer.

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Speaker 4: Oh and that one's an awful one. I mean they're

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Speaker 4: all awful, but that's that's awful.

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Speaker 5: And it was it was quite quick in terms of like,

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Speaker 5: you know, her she'd done the bow screening, it had

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Speaker 5: actually come back okay, and where it was positioned, it

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Speaker 5: just was extremely aggressive and difficult to operate on, hard

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Speaker 5: to treat, you know, they tried chemo radio.

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Speaker 2: It was.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, just such a roller coaster until she pretty much

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Speaker 5: she passed away actually a week after our wedding.

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Speaker 4: Oh mom, but thanks for holding on. Literally. Yeah, So

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Speaker 4: she was just so so strong. That woman had a mission.

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Speaker 4: She was like, God, we're going to make the wedding.

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Speaker 2: We're going to make it.

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Speaker 5: So that was about I think it was eighteen months

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Speaker 5: after she was originally diagnosed, and she pretty much it

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Speaker 5: got to the May June of that year. Our wedding

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Speaker 5: was in the November. This was the year of COVID actually,

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Speaker 5: so twenty.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, that's you know what. I'm sorry, Like

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Speaker 4: shout out to your mom for going through all of

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Speaker 4: that junk while going through COVID as well, because like

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Speaker 4: going to appointments and having all of those additional restrictions,

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Speaker 4: like that's not fair.

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Speaker 5: I still remember, like the Easter of that year was

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Speaker 5: the Easter. I know you're in Melbourne, so I know

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Speaker 5: you had it rougher than I and here in Queensland with.

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Speaker 4: What you're telling me right now, I definitely didn't have

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Speaker 4: it rough for babe. I was just stuck at home.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 5: So I remember it was the Easter of that year

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Speaker 5: and you like you couldn't even gather to celebrate Easter

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Speaker 5: like it was that and like that always made me

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Speaker 5: a bit sad. Like we tried to, we all did

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Speaker 5: our best, did your best, but you couldn't, like the

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Speaker 5: restrictions were wild. So that was a bit sad that

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Speaker 5: that happened in her last year. But yeah, we sort

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Speaker 5: of got to the May June and she pretty much

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Speaker 5: deteriorated from there, but really did hold on. I remember

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Speaker 5: at my hen's party, she like was determined to make

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Speaker 5: it and she did. She sat there and watched the

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Speaker 5: stripper that my friends organized, Thanks Mum, literally is so hilarious.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, so she made it. And then at my wedding,

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Speaker 5: she was really sick. She'd sort of entered palliative care

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Speaker 5: the week before, but she she made it, and for

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Speaker 5: the ceremony at least she we got her accommodation on

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Speaker 5: the site and one of her best friends came and

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Speaker 5: stayed with her so she was able to come to

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Speaker 5: the ceremony. We got some really amazing photos, which was yeah, perfect.

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Speaker 4: Really cool to keep.

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Speaker 5: And then yeah, so that's where, Yeah, it was a

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Speaker 5: crazy journey for that period, and here we are again

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Speaker 5: sort of in a comparatively crazy period.

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Speaker 4: That is a joke, Like I'm not trying to make

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Speaker 4: light of this. That's just honestly the biggest piece of bullshit, Like,

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Speaker 4: imagine going through all of that, and then later you're like, cool,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna have another baby, Like this is you know,

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Speaker 4: really exciting, and then something's happening with your dad. So oh,

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Speaker 4: sounds like Mum was a trooper. Like, sounds like Mum

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Speaker 4: was icon Like anyone who works as a teacher's age,

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Speaker 4: you just know they're a good egg, Like you just

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Speaker 4: know that they care. And like the fact that she's like, girl,

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Speaker 4: we're making the strippers, like we're going, We're gonna be

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Speaker 4: there for that. Like you just know she was a

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Speaker 4: good mom, right, she was.

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Speaker 2: She was the best.

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Speaker 4: So tell me about your dad.

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Speaker 2: So dad, they were both equally.

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Speaker 5: Actually, I was at a mother's group the other day

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Speaker 5: and we got asked the question of like what do

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Speaker 5: you want to pass on to your children? And I

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Speaker 5: spoke about how I felt like Mum and Dad collectively

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Speaker 5: were like just both so amazing, but they were both

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Speaker 5: so different. So Mom was a really really nurturing, loving,

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Speaker 5: you know, there for everything, just most amazing mom. Like

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Speaker 5: when I was twenty two and still going to stay

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Speaker 5: at their house, she would like heat up the bed

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Speaker 5: and put my pajamas under the pillow sort of thing.

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Speaker 4: Oh, she was perfect.

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Speaker 5: She was literally all the way till the end, like

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Speaker 5: it was crazy. And then Dad was like charismatic like

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Speaker 5: super hilarious, you know, like the joker everyone commented at

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Speaker 5: is of just how hilarious he was. So like, together,

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Speaker 5: they were just such an amazing little team. So I'm

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Speaker 5: very grateful for that. I wish I had longer with them,

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Speaker 5: but yeah, they were the best while we got them

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Speaker 5: here on earth.

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Speaker 4: That sounds so traumatic, but also they just sound like

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Speaker 4: such beautiful people, Like they just sound like like, I

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Speaker 4: hope that one day my kids speak about me in

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Speaker 4: the same way that you're speaking about your parents, Like

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Speaker 4: how pretty is that? Like that's just so good, right,

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Speaker 4: Like I hope that Harvey is one day like oh

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Speaker 4: my mom, Like that would be that I would have

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Speaker 4: made it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely, And even just like the people that said

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Speaker 5: stuff to me at both of their funerals, like some

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Speaker 5: of Mum's students said, you know, at some points in

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Speaker 5: their lives, she was the only person they felt like

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Speaker 5: was there for them or who they could fully speak to.

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Speaker 5: And like similarly, like friends that I'd grown up with

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Speaker 5: and I hadn't spoken to for years were like, oh

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Speaker 5: my god, your dad was just like the best dad ever,

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Speaker 5: Like you're so lucky sort of thing. So yeah, it

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Speaker 5: was lovely to when people are able to say that

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Speaker 5: to you and you're a you get that opportunity to

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Speaker 5: speak about them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so nice, So talk to me. What happened

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Speaker 4: with your dad?

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Speaker 5: So then dad, he was actually doing really well. He

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Speaker 5: hadn't had the best health during his life, but in

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Speaker 5: the last probably since my daughter was born in twenty

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Speaker 5: twenty two, he was doing really well. But on so

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Speaker 5: you're not going to probably believe this, but on her

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Speaker 5: first birthday, he was picking up her birthday cake and

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Speaker 5: I was calling his phone because it was a little

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Speaker 5: bit delayed, and then a random man answers and says,

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Speaker 5: I think your dad's having a stroke.

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Speaker 2: Of course, God, I know.

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Speaker 5: I was in the park, it was starting to pour

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Speaker 5: rain and I was holding like soft play that I

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Speaker 5: needed to set up for the party.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's a first birthday. Like those are completely

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Speaker 4: opposite scenarios.

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Speaker 5: Oh so then I raced to obviously where he was.

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Speaker 5: By that time, the ambulance had already taken him because

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Speaker 5: he was having a severe stroke. Oh no, yeah, so

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Speaker 5: the birthday cake was still strapped in the back of

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Speaker 5: his car.

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Speaker 4: Of course, it was He's like, I would just let

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Speaker 4: me deal with this. I'd just strap this in. Oh

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Speaker 4: there's something going on with me. I know.

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Speaker 5: It was literally in a seat belt and he'd, luckily

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Speaker 5: he'd stop to get the newspaper. Who knows why, because

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Speaker 5: he was on his way to the party.

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Speaker 4: Because he's a dad, he's a stereotypical day he's got

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Speaker 4: it needs a paper. What if it was boring soft

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Speaker 4: plays not for adults.

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Speaker 2: Well that's the thing.

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Speaker 5: So but thank god he got that newspaper because he

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Speaker 5: could have been on the road when it happened. He

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Speaker 5: was luckily returning from the shop and kind of collapsed

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Speaker 5: into his car and.

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Speaker 4: There was somebody there to pick up his phone. My god.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, So he survived that, but it was like a

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Speaker 5: very close call, like it was a severe stroke and

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Speaker 5: they had to operate immediately sort of thing to remove

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Speaker 5: the clot But then he was never the same unfortunately

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Speaker 5: after that. So then we had about a year with him,

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Speaker 5: oh was it a year? About another eighteen months pretty

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Speaker 5: much of navigating who he was then and his life.

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Speaker 5: He spent about four months in rehab after that, so

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Speaker 5: he could walk and he could mostly use his arm,

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Speaker 5: although he had to relearn all the fine motor skills

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Speaker 5: and things like that.

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Speaker 4: But then yeah, and I'm assuming he probably couldn't talk

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Speaker 4: if that's how severe it was.

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Speaker 5: He could, but it's sort of changed who he was.

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Speaker 5: So what I was sort of talking about how funny,

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Speaker 5: and he pretty much lost that part of him.

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Speaker 4: His personality.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he really became a different person.

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Speaker 5: So it was really difficult to navigate with that as well,

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Speaker 5: like learning who he was then he was a different

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Speaker 5: like before.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because it does change you, like it changes your brain,

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Speaker 4: it changes literally everything. And it's scary as well, like

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Speaker 4: for you going through this as well, Yes, awful awful

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Speaker 4: for him, but like as his daughter, to watch your

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Speaker 4: dad become somebody that's arguably unrecognizable is terrifying. Like it

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Speaker 4: is so scary, like you, just like I don't know

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Speaker 4: this person. I don't know how they're reacting. And a

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Speaker 4: lot of the time when these things happen, they're not

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Speaker 4: Oh he's just different. It's usually partnered with things like

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Speaker 4: aggression and yes, things that wouldn't make a lot of

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Speaker 4: sense for them to say that feel uncomfortable, and I

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Speaker 4: think that that's really confronting. Yeah, yeah, definitely the uncomfortable

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Speaker 4: because he was always a joker, so he tried to

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Speaker 4: keep that because like, deep down here, that's who he was.

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Speaker 4: He knows who he is. It's just not how he

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Speaker 4: can show up.

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Speaker 2: It was.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so it was, yeah, so tricky to navigate because

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Speaker 5: before that, he like I used to work from home

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Speaker 5: one day a week. I would set up like the

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Speaker 5: playroom and he would come and look after my daughter

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Speaker 5: while I worked from home. Like it was like two worlds.

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Speaker 5: That day, on her first birthday, everything changed again. So

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Speaker 5: I'm so glad we got that year because my daughter

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Speaker 5: has such beautiful memories and she's such a little old

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Speaker 5: soul that she says things now about my son, like

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Speaker 5: he can't how come he never got to have a

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Speaker 5: picture with Poppy, Like she knows. We've talked about it,

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Speaker 5: but it is still a tricky concept to navigate with

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Speaker 5: a three year old.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, but.

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Speaker 4: That's so sweet. She remembers, like she's so little and

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Speaker 4: still gets it, Like how cool is that?

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Speaker 2: I know?

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Speaker 5: And she everything of hers that he's bought her. I

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Speaker 5: always try and say, like, oh, Poppy got you that.

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Speaker 5: We'll have a conversation about it. She's like, Poppy got

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Speaker 5: me this, and like it's like she loves it even

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Speaker 5: more which is so special.

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Speaker 4: She's so sweet. She's also like I know what this

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Speaker 4: means to me. How sweet?

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And then fast forward, you said you got another

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Speaker 4: eighteen months with dad and you were pregnant. Did you

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Speaker 4: see this coming?

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Speaker 5: No, Well, he was unwell and the GP had sort

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Speaker 5: of a few times been like go to emergency and

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Speaker 5: get your heart checked, like I guess health as well

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Speaker 5: as like a stroke, you know, it does does deteriorate

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Speaker 5: overall for a person after something so severe, and obviously

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Speaker 5: his mental health wasn't great after this, But no, it

316
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Speaker 5: was completely I was thirty eight weeks pregnant maybe on

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Speaker 5: the dot or almost thirty eight weeks pregnant, And yeah,

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Speaker 5: my brother called me that morning and it was completely random,

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Speaker 5: just out of the blue. Like we didn't get an

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Speaker 5: autopsy because the paramedic asked me if I wanted that,

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Speaker 5: and my auntie, who was pretty much his best friend,

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Speaker 5: we sort of agreed that we didn't need to put

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Speaker 5: him through law. He was very unhealthy at that point,

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Speaker 5: so his doctor was able to say, you know, like

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Speaker 5: it could have been one of many things, but it

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Speaker 5: was still as much as it was almost like a

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Speaker 5: relief that he was out of the pain that he

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Speaker 5: went through in the previous eighteen months.

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Speaker 2: It was still a big shock.

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Speaker 5: And I think I've had two different grief periods, Like

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Speaker 5: I've had the you know it's coming kind of thing.

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Speaker 5: I actually thought, like we bought a house, we were

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Speaker 5: planning to well, I was trying to get him sorted

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Speaker 5: to build a granny flat here so he could have

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Speaker 5: money in the bank and just because he was struggling

336
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Speaker 5: on the pension and all of those things.

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Speaker 2: But we never quite got there.

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Speaker 4: So, yeah, he sounds so sweet too, sound like your mum.

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Speaker 4: You explained your mum, and then just the way that

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Speaker 4: you're like speaking about your dad, I'm like, oh, hey,

341
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 4: the appul has not fallen that far from the tree.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: So tell me what that's like, because like, you get

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Speaker 4: a call from my brother your dad's passed away. That's horrific.

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Speaker 4: But you're thirty eight weeks pregnant, and that's meant to

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Speaker 4: be a joyous period of life, right, that's meant to

347
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Speaker 4: be like a period that you're just so excited. How

348
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Speaker 4: do you navigate that?

349
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Speaker 5: We were actually like, luckily we were at my niece's

350
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Speaker 5: birthday because my daughter, like obviously with children, you like,

351
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Speaker 5: I try and be open with it, but you try

352
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Speaker 5: and mask some of the intenseness of emotions, like you

353
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Speaker 5: can't be trying to protect them. You do, and but

354
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Speaker 5: obviously my reaction immediately to that phone call was like

355
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Speaker 5: what she'd never seen before. So then I had to

356
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Speaker 5: quickly like rein it back in to tell her that

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Speaker 5: Mummy needed to go for a minute.

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Speaker 2: And luckily she was with her cousins and her nanny.

359
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Speaker 4: So she could, so she was like, yeah, pop off, Mom,

360
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Speaker 4: I love being here. Yeah.

361
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Speaker 5: So she was half like that, I saw you really

362
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Speaker 5: sad and I want to stay with you, but also

363
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Speaker 5: I really like my cousins and I'm happy to stay here.

364
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Speaker 5: So that was sort of a blessing and a curse.

365
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Speaker 5: So she was there, and then we went to mum

366
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Speaker 5: and Dad's house and I was sort of out the

367
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Speaker 5: front because Moum did pass away also in the family home,

368
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Speaker 5: and I was just refusing to go in, and the

369
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Speaker 5: paramedic had to come out and be like.

370
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Speaker 2: We need you.

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Speaker 5: You were thirty eight weeks pregnant and this was in February,

372
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Speaker 5: so like the hottest part of the Queensland summer.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was hot.

374
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Speaker 2: Yuck.

375
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Speaker 5: No thanks, I'm just out the front because I was like,

376
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Speaker 5: I can't go.

377
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Speaker 4: In, just hanging out in the heat, because you're like,

378
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Speaker 4: I can't do this again.

379
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Speaker 2: I can't do it again.

380
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Speaker 5: So eventually they moved him back to his bed so

381
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Speaker 5: he was comfortable, and like, I never went down that

382
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Speaker 5: end of the house.

383
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Speaker 2: I just sort of went outside.

384
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Speaker 4: Maybe you could come in the house and maybe not

385
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Speaker 4: be absolutely straining yourself in the heat.

386
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Speaker 5: Yes, So we just went and sat there until all

387
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Speaker 5: the logistics of that part of it was sorted. And yeah,

388
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Speaker 5: I guess after that came the whirlwind of quickly planning

389
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Speaker 5: a funeral. Came before I was forty weeks pregnant and

390
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Speaker 5: having a baby.

391
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Speaker 4: So you had I'm assuming the funeral the week after

392
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Speaker 4: or so, is that right? Yeah?

393
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 5: I literally quickly planned it, and luckily my Auntie is

394
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Speaker 5: just amazing, so she helped us with the financial side

395
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Speaker 5: of things to be settled upon the estate settlement, so

396
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Speaker 5: we could just quickly go ahead and organize something, which

397
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,400
Speaker 5: literally happened the week after. And because I'm a lunatic,

398
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 5: because for Mom's funeral, I did the eulogy, the video,

399
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 5: the booklet, like everything.

400
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Speaker 4: Yeah, of course you did, see you are your mom's daughter.

401
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,160
Speaker 5: And so I was determined to do it again, even

402
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,120
Speaker 5: though like I knew I should it, and I knew

403
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,639
Speaker 5: I didn't have the capacity, but I was like, but

404
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,359
Speaker 5: I did it for mum, so I wanted to do

405
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 5: it for dad.

406
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Speaker 4: And I bet you don't regret that, though, I bet

407
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Speaker 4: you're like, no, I'm glad I.

408
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Speaker 2: Did no, And I love the video.

409
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Speaker 5: And you know, every time I go to a family

410
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Speaker 5: member's house and they've got the little booklet up on

411
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,520
Speaker 5: the mantelpiece, that makes me feel happy.

412
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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're really proud.

413
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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So we did that.

414
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Speaker 5: And then I like I told my midwe life what

415
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 5: was going on, and I'd just gone for some extra

416
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,919
Speaker 5: checks around them and just got some monitoring.

417
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Speaker 4: Yes much, thank god.

418
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Speaker 5: But like he was just completely fine, and literally he

419
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:10,919
Speaker 5: was vibing.

420
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Speaker 4: He's like, Mum, you seem stressed. I would just hang

421
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 4: out here for a bit, all right.

422
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Speaker 2: He just hung out like he was just so fine.

423
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Speaker 5: And then I even like I booked the induction or

424
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 5: my due date, I ended up going in a few

425
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 5: days earlier just because like I felt like my brain

426
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:29,119
Speaker 5: couldn't comprehend movements at that point in time, so I

427
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 5: was stressing myself more so we ended up having the

428
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Speaker 5: induction and like it was literally like Dad passed away

429
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Speaker 5: a week later, the funeral a week later, I gave birth.

430
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Speaker 4: Oh no, and doing all of that, and you mentioned like, yeah,

431
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,920
Speaker 4: we had to like navigate funeral expenses throughout that time.

432
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Speaker 4: Like money is so stressful at the best of times.

433
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Speaker 4: Money when you're going through that is even more stressful.

434
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 4: But now you're trying to finalize his estate, but you've

435
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 4: said there's maybe a co executor that doesn't have the

436
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 4: best intentions. That's another level of stress that is just

437
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,159
Speaker 4: not necessary. So how are you navigating What does that

438
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 4: look like?

439
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,479
Speaker 5: Oh, it's been pretty awful in terms of like somebody

440
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 5: who should be a big part of like the support

441
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 5: network in postpartum is just not around. And that's because

442
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,120
Speaker 5: of substances that they've engaged with for a long period.

443
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 4: So that's not a surprise but also still heartbreaking.

444
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, like we always knew it was bad, and when

445
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 5: my mom passed away, it probably exasperated at all. I

446
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,199
Speaker 5: suppose people that's no excuse for them, but deal with

447
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 5: things differently, I guess. But yeah, like since that has passed,

448
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 5: this person has pretty much well they never actually contacted

449
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 5: me when I had the baby, you know, to see

450
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,360
Speaker 5: if I was okay. So all communication has pretty much

451
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 5: been through the solicitor now because obviously, which is why

452
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 5: I wrote in the money story actually because the joint

453
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 5: executorship thing is, I actually had no idea about it.

454
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 4: Like it's good in theory.

455
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, and Dad always said to me, He's like, don't

456
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 5: worry because I'd be like Dad. This person lived with

457
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 5: Dad for a long time for free. They're about ten

458
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 5: years older than me. So it always irked me because

459
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 5: Dad struggled so much with money after his stroke. Well

460
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 5: we slaved away on our mortgage and all now you know,

461
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,199
Speaker 5: it frustrated me.

462
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they're just kind of like taking a free

463
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 4: ride and basically taking advantage of your dad. And you're

464
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 4: watching that happen and that's hurtful, Like that's not okay,

465
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 4: And like you seem like a different personality as well,

466
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 4: because like you just told me before, like oh, our

467
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 4: plan was smash down our mortgage, build a granny flat

468
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 4: so Dad could move in because I could see he

469
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 4: was struggling on the pension. That's literally the exact opposite

470
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 4: of what you've just explained, So like that would be

471
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 4: so hard to navigate.

472
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 5: And it was so frustrating because even during that time

473
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 5: of us trying to get Dad to sell the family

474
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 5: home to build, like I was even planning on, you know,

475
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 5: the Brannie flat would be like a building that if

476
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 5: Dad passed away, it could literally just be picked up

477
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 5: on a truck and sold and taken away, just like

478
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 5: a family home. Like our property was not essential benefiting

479
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 5: from it. That this person said to my dad many times,

480
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 5: like what about my inheritance.

481
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 2: Et cetera, et cetera.

482
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 4: It's actually not your inheritance.

483
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: It's his money to spend on his.

484
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 4: Life right now.

485
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 5: And that's what I wanted for him so bad, because

486
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 5: at the end he just wanted to go to the

487
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,679
Speaker 5: pub and have a stake icon honestly, icon exactly. And

488
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 5: there were weeks that he would call me and be

489
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 5: like Georgia on my account, so overdrawn, I don't know.

490
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: Why, like and like.

491
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,639
Speaker 5: It was just so frustrating at the end because I

492
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 5: couldn't help him, and I just wanted him to just

493
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 5: like Mom and Dad slaved at that mortgage their entire lives.

494
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 2: They paid every bit of.

495
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 5: Interest to the bank that they possibly could, and actually

496
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,439
Speaker 5: he paid his last mortgage repayment while he was in

497
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 5: hospital after the stroke.

498
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 2: I stop it.

499
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 4: No, that's heartbreaking, I know.

500
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 2: And it was so weird.

501
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 5: I remember it had come out maybe his account was overdrawn,

502
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 5: and I was fixing it because that's the other thing

503
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 5: that happened. I used to sort of help him manage

504
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 5: the money. And then about once this person moved into

505
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 5: his house, the control got lost.

506
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 4: So it's all, yeah, it sounds like I'm mad. And

507
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 4: so you're going through this process and is the solicitor

508
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 4: kind of aware that this is going on. I feel

509
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 4: like these people generally have some level of nows.

510
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 5: Yes they do, And I think that's the thing, like

511
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,919
Speaker 5: when they come to an appointment, they're very like you know,

512
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 5: if you met them in the street, you would be like, oh,

513
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 5: like they're an okay person, you know, like what a delight? Yeah, yeah,

514
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 5: which is exactly right. Thankfully, this solicitor has been sort

515
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 5: of like helping my family. For he supported my mom's

516
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 5: mom and then mum did the wills, so he sort of,

517
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 5: I guess had an idea. So he's been on the

518
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 5: journey very much with us, thank god.

519
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, and is that all kind of sorting itself

520
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 4: out or like, is that not going to go to plan?

521
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 5: Well, so we're about like, my son just went four months,

522
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 5: So I just got the property on the market today,

523
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 5: which has been.

524
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 4: Like just congrats.

525
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's been chaotic, but we got there.

526
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we'll see how it goes.

527
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 5: Obviously, we've still got the hurdles of negotiating the price

528
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 5: of the property. And you have a four month old,

529
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 5: so I'm assuming you're still on matt leave and your

530
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,479
Speaker 5: matt leave isn't meant to be spent doing this stuff,

531
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 5: but you've been doing will executive stuff and trying to

532
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 5: get a house on the market, like with a newborn.

533
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,719
Speaker 5: You've now got a four month old. That's crazy. Did

534
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 5: you blink and then that happened?

535
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 2: I know.

536
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 5: He's so yeah, Like he had a bit of a

537
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 5: wildforce trimester.

538
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 2: He cried a fair bit.

539
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 5: But now he's like just this happy little guy that

540
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 5: smiles all the time. Like he literally just everyone who

541
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 5: sees him, he'll be like making them like full body

542
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 5: smile and like getting tears in their eyes because he's

543
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 5: like laughing to get the attention.

544
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 4: He's like, look at me, he is.

545
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 2: I know.

546
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 5: So it brings you sort of back down to earth,

547
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 5: I think, having a little person.

548
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so what were you doing when you went

549
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 4: on matt leave? Like what was your job and how

550
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 4: much money did you earn?

551
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 5: Yes, so I worked in the public service for the

552
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 5: last year. I did four days a week, so I

553
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 5: was about ninety thousand.

554
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 2: Plus super Oh that's good. Yeah, which was good. Yeah.

555
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,160
Speaker 5: I only got a pay rise just before Mattley, which

556
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 5: was a lovely little bonus.

557
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 2: And then having paid parentally was awesome for that.

558
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 5: I got twelve weeks so before my job previously was

559
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 5: it a not for profit? Oh yeah, and you wouldn't

560
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 5: have got that no, So I did sort of make

561
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 5: that move in the chaos of my life just to

562
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 5: help us along a little bit, knowing we wanted to

563
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 5: have another kid.

564
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so good. And so then you went on

565
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 4: to like obviously maternity leave, and you then got your

566
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 4: paid parental leave and like the centling parental leave like

567
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 4: pay kicking in. Tell me about that because you specifically

568
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 4: put that in your submission. So I'm assuming it's a

569
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 4: pain in the butt.

570
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 5: It is, And I think because I like interest rates.

571
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 5: When I was on matt leave with my daughter in

572
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 5: twenty twenty two were much lovelier and we kind of

573
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 5: had a lovely time. You know, We're like out to

574
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 5: lunch some days, just living our best life.

575
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 2: But now it's like I knew it.

576
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,199
Speaker 5: Was going to hit, And I think that's why I

577
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 5: sort of said I felt like I was a c

578
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 5: at this point in Mattley because I was great at budgeting.

579
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 5: I was a little bit controlling, like when we get paid,

580
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 5: I like to just like pay everything, like I would

581
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 5: sit down and do it for like a good hour

582
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 5: and make sure everything was like how I wanted it

583
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 5: with our bills, which I.

584
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 4: Know is a bit psychotic. But no, but that's okay.

585
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 4: We just sometimes need to feel like leer in control.

586
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 2: We do.

587
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I've let that control. I guess laps a

588
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 5: little bit now that I'm on maternity leave and don't

589
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 5: have the brain space.

590
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 4: That's okay. Sometimes we can just like let that lapse,

591
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 4: like you're allowed to relax. Sometimes, I promise, let's go

592
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 4: to a really quick break because on the flip side,

593
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 4: I have a lot of questions. So guys don't go

594
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:46,439
Speaker 4: anywhere all right, money dist we are back talk to me.

595
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 4: You have a mortgage? Is that your big money goal?

596
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 4: Like pay that off or like what are you currently

597
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 4: working towards financially? Yeah, So, as I said, we bought

598
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:59,439
Speaker 4: this property, we had built brand new, and then last

599
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 4: year we actually sold our brand new house and built

600
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 4: a renovator on a bigger block. It wasn't a full

601
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 4: renovator like the previous owner have like painted it new carpets,

602
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,360
Speaker 4: so it was okay for us to move straight in.

603
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 4: So we've just been sort of doing bits and pieces,

604
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 4: but we haven't sort of like jumped into any huge

605
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 4: renovations just yet, Like we haven't ripped out the kitchen

606
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 4: and we're living off a cooked top in the bathroom yet.

607
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 2: No, not yet.

608
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 5: That's definitely it needs it needs it, so that would

609
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,679
Speaker 5: be our first goal, and then obviously to pay it

610
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 5: down as much as we can, whether or not we

611
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 5: sell here and move somewhere different when not quite school,

612
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 5: but only because like, as much as I love it,

613
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 5: it does have that last little connection to I wanted

614
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 5: to build a Grammy flat here for Dad, but we

615
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 5: couldn't sort of thing.

616
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 4: So yeah, no, totally and that does cloud it a

617
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 4: little bit. Sometimes you just go, you know what, I

618
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 4: want a fresh start, like I want to clean sleep.

619
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 4: I don't want to walk into my garden and just

620
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 4: think about that every single time. But also like reframe

621
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 4: that what a beautiful intention. I know you didn't get

622
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 4: to do it, but like imagine being the person that

623
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 4: that's how you're thinking, Like, oh, I would love to

624
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 4: put my parents or my dad in the backyard and

625
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 4: like take the financial pressure off him. Like what a

626
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,159
Speaker 4: beautiful sentiment, Like you're a special human because you know what,

627
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 4: there are so many people that would be like I

628
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 4: would never do that cool, but like I would.

629
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 5: It would have been hard, I think, and as he

630
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 5: changed over the last year, like definitely, but it would

631
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 5: have been really cool too. Like I always like had

632
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 5: little thoughts of you know, like just him pottering around

633
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 5: the yard with you know, my kids, or like could

634
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 5: just sit in his granny flat and we put a

635
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 5: pool and they could watch him swim and you know,

636
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 5: like just lovely things like that.

637
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, And hopefully with time, maybe that gets a little

638
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 4: bit easier because like I think that you still clearly

639
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 4: haven't dealt with this, like in the nicest possible way,

640
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 4: you haven't had time to grieve, because girl, you've just

641
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 4: come out of newborn territory and you just told me

642
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 4: that he didn't really like not crying, so he was

643
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 4: a busy boy, keeping you probably very distracted. But like

644
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 4: grief is fickle, yes.

645
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 5: And I think that's why I really wanted to get

646
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 5: their property sold and organized. But it was really challenging

647
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 5: with the joint executor, not actually just wanting. He essentially

648
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 5: stopped talking to me because he wanted to live there

649
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 5: for free, I think, which like obviously it made it

650
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 5: much harder for me to get things organized, so he

651
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 5: won to a degree. But hopefully now that we've got

652
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 5: it on the market, we can get a buyer and

653
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 5: I can close that part of my life and move forward.

654
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's just a chapter we can close, and maybe

655
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 4: once all of that settles, then you can take a

656
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 4: big breath and maybe grieve then a little bit more,

657
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 4: because you're like, there's not a lot of weight on

658
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 4: my shoulders now, Like I don't actually have any responsibilities. Now,

659
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 4: I can just be the daughter who has lost her.

660
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 5: Parents, Yes, which is so much nicer than being a guaranteel.

661
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, Yeah, that's a lot, My friend, that

662
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 4: is a lot. So tell me a bit more about money.

663
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 4: Do you and your husband invest if so in what? Yeah?

664
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 5: So obviously I'm a bit of a podcast lover of yours.

665
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 5: So I had started investing in chares ease. I haven't

666
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 5: got heaps there because I was just chipping away a

667
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 5: little bit per week. So I think there's five hundred

668
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 5: dollars in ETFs for us.

669
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 4: Oh see, that's good.

670
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 5: Well it Actually I was a bit stoked the other

671
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 5: day because obviously the market's gone a bit up considering

672
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 5: what's been going on. So I was looking at the

673
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 5: return at the moment, I was like, oh, look at that,

674
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 5: like from my little twenty dollars a fortnight, you know, yeah,

675
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 5: from little things.

676
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 4: Big things really do grow.

677
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've got that.

678
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 5: And then I've also I've started dabbling with Superhero to

679
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 5: have the split accounts for the kids, so yeah, cute. Yeah,

680
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 5: So I've started investing for each of them. I sort

681
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 5: of started for my daughter, but I was, I think

682
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 5: still learning, so now that my son's here, I kind

683
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 5: of ramp hers up and was trying to make them equal.

684
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 5: I was calculating that to what I would would have

685
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 5: done with when she was born.

686
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 2: So yeah, we've got that obviously.

687
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 5: That would be another sort of money goal once a

688
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 5: few other things. Yeah, kick chipping away that, bro, I suppose.

689
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 4: I love that. And talk to me about superannuation. You

690
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 4: mentioned before that you earn ninety thousand dollars plus super.

691
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 4: But you're in like a public service role. Is super

692
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 4: a big part of your salary because I'm assuming if

693
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 4: you're in public service, maybe you get better than average superannuation.

694
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not that much better. It's by one percent

695
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 2: than the average.

696
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 4: I mean, I'll take it. It's better than a kick

697
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 4: in the pants.

698
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 2: Better than nothing, I suppose.

699
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 5: So it's ticking along, okay, I think I think it's

700
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 5: sitting at about eighty thousand mine. Now my husband's is

701
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 5: much nicer because he's also been in a government role

702
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 5: for many years. But yeah, it's just being on centilinkly

703
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 5: and not getting any super right now is a little

704
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 5: bit frustrating given it's coming in very soon.

705
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 4: But anyway, yeah, that would be so annoying. You'd be like,

706
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 4: excuse me, like essentially a year, you know, give or take.

707
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 5: I think, you know whatever, it is five and a

708
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 5: half once you get at the moment. So yeah, over

709
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 5: two maternity leaves. It's a little frustrating, but.

710
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 4: It's a lot, and that's why we have to talk

711
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 4: about it and think about it. Talk to me about debt.

712
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 4: You mentioned that you have a mortgage. What does that

713
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 4: look like.

714
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's a little bit large and in charge

715
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:18,479
Speaker 5: at the moment.

716
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 2: But our house hopefully would be worth about.

717
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 5: One point two at the moment, and we owe I

718
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 5: think seven fifty on it.

719
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 4: Oh that's good.

720
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, obviously when we bought and sold in the same market,

721
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 5: paying stamp duty was a lovely kick in the bum.

722
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 4: But yeah, stamp duty's not fun at all. Stamp duty

723
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 4: makes me sick.

724
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 2: It's a bit gross.

725
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 5: But yeah, so we've got that, and then I think

726
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 5: I've got about fifteen K on my car loan, which

727
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 5: is pretty much all that we have. So that would

728
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 5: be another goal to get rid of that, because that's

729
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 5: not the nicest to pay.

730
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: I don't like paying that one.

731
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 4: No, I don't think anyone does. But I'm assuming you

732
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 4: ended up with a car loan because you were like,

733
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 4: I need it.

734
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: Yes, I think I was.

735
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,360
Speaker 5: Just on that leave with my daughter and my car

736
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 5: was just I've been driving my husband's car because it

737
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 5: was much safer actually, But I think we're both going

738
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 5: back to work and we're just like, let's just get

739
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 5: rid of it and we'll just have one car loan.

740
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 2: Yep.

741
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 4: Fair, very fair call. So talk to me. I feel

742
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 4: like you said, oh I am a C, but I

743
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 4: was a B minus. I feel like you're probably better

744
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 4: than that. You're just not giving yourself enough credit. It

745
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 4: sounds like you're the type of person that's relatively harsh

746
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 4: on themselves. But that's okay. Tell me, what do you

747
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 4: think your best money? How it is?

748
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 5: As much as I was a little bit controlling, I

749
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,479
Speaker 5: think I am really good at budgeting, and it was

750
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 5: pretty much like we were a little bit frivolous. I

751
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 5: suppose when interest rates started to rise and I was

752
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 5: on Matt leave, I think.

753
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: I got really good at it then.

754
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 5: So as much as I was controlling, I felt like

755
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 5: our money really was like sortied organized and like I

756
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 5: always felt good about it. I hate the feeling of

757
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 5: like just spending a little bit willy nilly and not

758
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 5: knowing what you're opening in your bank account.

759
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: Back just gives me the hebgb's So, I.

760
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 4: Mean that's good. What do you think your worst money

761
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 4: how it is?

762
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 2: Then probably spending money on my kids.

763
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 5: I was just was my daughter's birthday this morning, and

764
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 5: after I got all of her presents out last night,

765
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 5: I was like, she has so much stuff, and I

766
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 5: was like, did I really need to buy all of this?

767
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 2: Like I don't think I spent a lot. Obviously, it

768
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,399
Speaker 2: looks more when they're little because you can just get

769
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 2: little things.

770
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they're very happy with whatever from

771
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 4: KMA as well, like they don't know their difference, And.

772
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 5: A lot was just from like I think I did

773
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 5: it one hundred dollars lay by at Big W So yeah,

774
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 5: maybe that.

775
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 4: I mean that's not the worst.

776
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 5: No, it's not the worst, and I loved it. So

777
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 5: other than that, probably just relax on the budget from

778
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 5: my Matt leave. But I'm kind of trying to give

779
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 5: myself grace given there's been a lot going on.

780
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 4: I feel like that's really fair. Yeah, like let's embrace

781
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,720
Speaker 4: that idea. How about we do give ourselves a little

782
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 4: bit more grace just always just in general, Like, I

783
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 4: think you deserve it, and I mean we just touched

784
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 4: on it before, but you said, look, I reckon, I'm

785
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 4: a c right now. But I was a bee my

786
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 4: before and then you like took me through everything you

787
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 4: did financially and not finance, I mean you're investing, You're

788
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 4: doubling in Superhero because you want your kids to invest.

789
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 4: Like you've got a mortgage, you're paying that off. You've

790
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 4: got some really nice equity there. You obviously have a

791
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 4: pretty okay, like very nice looking, super fun Let's be honest,

792
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 4: and like you seem to just have your stuff together. Girl,

793
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,720
Speaker 4: you were writing your dad's eulogy while you were thirty

794
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 4: nine weeks pregnant, Like, be for real, come on, like

795
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 4: you've got your shit together, and then you're like probably

796
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,839
Speaker 4: you c at the moment. Do you feel like, after

797
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 4: we've had this chat and like read out your money story,

798
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 4: do you think that that's fair for that person who's

799
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 4: been through all of that.

800
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 2: Probably not.

801
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 5: I know I am definitely the person that's always a

802
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 5: little bit hard on myself, But yeah, I maybe it'd be.

803
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 4: Look, I get it, but like let's just give ourselves

804
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 4: a little bit more grace, especially right now, like you

805
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 4: deserve it. You deserve it.

806
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 5: I know I need to definitely for the grieving process,

807
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 5: I need to be as kind as I possibly can

808
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 5: to myself, I think, but yeah.

809
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 4: One hundred percent you do. Oh my goodness, it has

810
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 4: been a pleasure getting to know you. Thank you for

811
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 4: sharing so much about your mum and your dad, like

812
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,280
Speaker 4: it was a pleasure. They sound like they were delightful

813
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 4: human beings. And having gotten to know you what over

814
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 4: the last half an hour, I feel like the apple

815
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 4: didn't fall that far from the tree. So like, I

816
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,439
Speaker 4: feel like your kids are probably gonna say the same

817
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 4: things about you that you're saying about your mum, which

818
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 4: is beautiful, Like that's so good. Like that to me

819
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 4: is ultimate goals.

820
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: It is ultimate goals.

821
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 4: And I really do hope so oh, I know, so

822
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 4: thank you.

823
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 2: I know so.

824
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 4: I wish we had more time, but unfortunately that's all

825
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 4: we've got time for today. So thank you so much

826
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 4: for sharing that with us. I'm genuinely just so grateful,

827
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 4: And I wish that we're in the same stake because

828
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 4: I feel like we get on we are probably a

829
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 4: similar type of human being. Yes, I'm not surprised. Thank

830
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 4: you so much.

831
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:45,959
Speaker 2: Thank you.

832
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 4: If I shared on She's on the money is generally

833
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 4: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on

834
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 4: the Money. This is purely for educational purposes and should

835
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 4: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

836
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 4: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

837
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 4: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

838
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 4: your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are

839
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 4: authorized representatives of money SHERPA Pty lt D A b

840
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 4: N three two one six four nine two seven seven

841
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 4: zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine