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Speaker 1: My name is Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations

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Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young, Ganya, Niana,

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Speaker 1: Kaka yah Ya bin Ahaka, nian Ar gay In Mbini,

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Speaker 1: yakarum jar, Dominyama, Domaghawakaman, damon Imlan Bumba, bang Gadabomba in

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Speaker 1: and now in wakah ghana on yak rum jar Watnadaa. Hello,

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Speaker 1: beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.

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Speaker 1: We thank acknowledge and respect the Abiginal people's land that

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Speaker 1: we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land

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Speaker 1: and respect all that you see. She's on the Money

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Speaker 1: podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,

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Speaker 1: knowledge and resources for you to thrive.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 2: that's here to keep your budget merry and bright. Even

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Speaker 2: when Christmas has other ideas, it.

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Speaker 3: Always creeps up on us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I feel like, I mean, everyone always

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Speaker 2: says is, but it literally was felt like it feels like.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't that long ago.

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Speaker 4: Also, it's crazy same day every year, same day every year,

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Speaker 4: calendars or something.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, I'm so excited. Christmas is such an exciting time.

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Speaker 2: So you know the moment when you check your bank

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Speaker 2: account after Christmas and then think.

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Speaker 3: Like, okay, where did my money go? Well, I was

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Speaker 3: a bit too festting. Yeah, okay, I should have rained

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Speaker 3: in a little bit.

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Speaker 2: I'm excited with me as a woman who's going to

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Speaker 2: help us figure out why this happens and more importantly,

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Speaker 2: how to stop doing it. Victoria Divine, Hello, So this

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Speaker 2: is going to be like a little bit of a

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Speaker 2: do as I say, not as I do episode because

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Speaker 2: I love getting a little bit festival. I love getting

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Speaker 2: a little bit merry, and I think that it's important

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Speaker 2: to top the episode with that because I don't want

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Speaker 2: you thinking that I do frugal Christmas every year. Because

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Speaker 2: I try, I manifests, and then I just flow out.

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Speaker 2: I genuinely can't believe that we are recording Christmas episodes.

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Speaker 2: I am so excited to talk about it though, because

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's really well timed for us to

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Speaker 2: get a little bit more prepared in the lead up

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Speaker 2: to Christmas. So if you're like, what the hellvy, it's

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Speaker 2: not even December yet, I know, but the shops have

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Speaker 2: had Christmas stuff since August, so I feel like that

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Speaker 2: was the gateway to letting me exactly have a Christmas episode.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, take it up with corporate, with somebody else.

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Speaker 4: So this episode isn't about being a grinch or like

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Speaker 4: sucking all the fun out of Christmas, because like, I

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Speaker 4: love Christmas. I love traditions. Now that I'm a mum,

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Speaker 4: I think I love it even more. Like bet, I'm

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Speaker 4: going to have a nearly two year old for Christmas

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Speaker 4: this year.

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Speaker 3: That's fun.

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Speaker 4: Last year it was fun, like I dressed him in

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Speaker 4: his little festive outfit, like ripped his paper off, but

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Speaker 4: didn't get it. I think he now is going to

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Speaker 4: like get the concept of gifting.

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Speaker 3: I'm just so excited.

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Speaker 4: But this episode is going to be about, I guess,

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Speaker 4: spotting this sneaky little traps that nudge us into spending

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Speaker 4: a little bit more than we'd actually anticipated or even

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Speaker 4: wanted to, And then once you know them, you can

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Speaker 4: kind of pause and ask, do I want to spend

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Speaker 4: my money here or is it just like this Christmas

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Speaker 4: spending psychology at work? So this episode is all about

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Speaker 4: spending with intentions. So that you still get all the

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Speaker 4: joy at Christmas without the financial hangover come January.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, You've always got our back, don't you.

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Speaker 4: I just wanted to talk about Christmas. Thank you for

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Speaker 4: thinking that that was me having your back. But this

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Speaker 4: is also our FYI to Victoria episodes. I just I

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Speaker 4: don't want to miss out.

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Speaker 2: You know you should listen to this when it comes

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Speaker 2: out and be like, Okay, that's actually great advice.

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Speaker 3: Do you know I can't listen to our episodes? Oh

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Speaker 3: my god? Say I hate hearing hearing myself and like

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Speaker 3: I still do for quality checks. Yeah, I give myself

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Speaker 3: the biggest it. Oh my god, say I can't do

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Speaker 3: it same. I'm like, why did I say that? Even

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Speaker 3: though it's something I can't, I can't.

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Speaker 4: If I listened back to every single episode, I would

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Speaker 4: be calling our producer Emma and be like rip it down, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Actually, let that go live. Actually I would rather bury

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Speaker 3: myself down. Really, let's call it all off. Why did

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Speaker 3: you give me a microphone? Let's stop doing this right now. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so where should we start?

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Speaker 4: All right, let's start with Victoria's feeling if missing out?

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Speaker 4: So feed fomo, so scrolling yourself broke before you even shop.

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Speaker 4: I've already started saving TikTok's. Oh no, yep, I've already

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Speaker 4: started saving things on Instagram, Like you jump on TikTok

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Speaker 4: for inspiration or I do. One of my girlfriends recently

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, I don't have TikTok. I just know

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't be good at it. I'm like, you're a

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Speaker 4: better person than I will ever be.

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Speaker 3: Those people are like, I just don't download it. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's in pressive.

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Speaker 4: But I jump on TikTok, and I know a lot

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Speaker 4: of you guys also jump on TikTok through the inspiration,

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Speaker 4: and suddenly your thirty dollar budget feels underwhelming next to

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Speaker 4: somebody's seven hundred dollars Christmas hall and you just feel like,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, maybe I shouldn't be getting back a

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Speaker 4: thirty dollar gift. Maybe I need to bump that up

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Speaker 4: to one hundred dollars because I can't get her enough,

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Speaker 4: Like we start to think that we aren't enough. And

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Speaker 4: going back on this, it does go back to psychology.

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Speaker 4: So you know how I said, do as I say,

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Speaker 4: not as I do. For those of you who might

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Speaker 4: be new to the podcast, before I got into financial advice.

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Speaker 4: I was in psychology. I actually have two psych degrees,

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Speaker 4: and I use that a lot to help swindle your

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Speaker 4: bank accounts into a better situation. But this is a

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Speaker 4: thing called social comparison theory. So seeing curated gift guides,

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Speaker 4: which there are a lot of this season, I've already

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Speaker 4: started to see like under fifty dollars gift guide, under

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Speaker 4: hundred dollar gift guides fantastic. But these spark what's called

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Speaker 4: benign envy. Okay, and benign envy is something that you've

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Speaker 4: probably never spoken about before, but it happens all the time,

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Speaker 4: and it's wanting what other people have. Studies show that

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Speaker 4: this kind of envy boosts purchase intentions, especially when that

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Speaker 4: person feels relatable to you. So if you're watching your

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Speaker 4: favorite content creators, we're not just like mindlessly scrolling TikTok

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Speaker 4: and Rando comes up. But if your favorite content creators

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Speaker 4: are posting things, you're more likely to be.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh, I want that totally, I love that. I

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Speaker 3: love that she has that. I want that.

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Speaker 4: And just a little interesting fact in influencer research, relatability

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Speaker 4: and credibility both strongly predict by your behavior, which is

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Speaker 4: why I quote normal girl halls influence you so hard,

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Speaker 4: got you so like, don't get me wrong, We're not

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Speaker 4: looking at their influencer hall and going, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: I need to one thousand dollars on the brand new

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Speaker 4: dice and air wrap. Like maybe we do, because that's

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Speaker 4: how I feel right now. But it's often the smaller

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Speaker 4: things that you're like, all of these things add up

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Speaker 4: and that feels like a relatable purchase. But because they

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Speaker 4: feel like normal girls that you're following, they influence you

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Speaker 4: so hard, and you know what, that's why so many

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Speaker 4: businesses spend so much of their marketing budget on influencers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's kind of that feeling of like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this person doesn't seem super rich, but they have this

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Speaker 2: super expensive thing.

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Speaker 3: I why is it not in my budget? Serve that? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to try and make that in my budget.

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Speaker 3: It seems like a normal thing to own. I just

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Speaker 3: I get it. We work hard back.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think every single person in our community deserves

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Speaker 4: the absolute world. But if you do not have the

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Speaker 4: budget for it, you just don't, like I cannot, don't

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Speaker 4: give me the ah, but I deserve it. Oh but

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Speaker 4: I worked really hard this year. I don't care if

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Speaker 4: you don't have the budget. It's a no, like it's

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Speaker 4: hard and it hurts and it's not that fun.

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Speaker 3: But I'm sorry.

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Speaker 4: Just because you feel like you deserve something doesn't mean

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Speaker 4: that we compromise our budget and future ask for.

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Speaker 3: That budget does not discriminate.

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Speaker 4: No, and so what I want you to be doing instead?

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Speaker 4: My favorite button on TikTok and on Instagram. I don't

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Speaker 4: know if I should tell you guys this because like

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Speaker 4: some people might get offended, especially like other content creators,

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Speaker 4: my favorite button is mute. I like muting people, so

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Speaker 4: I'm not on following you. I really like you, still

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Speaker 4: want the connection with you, but I don't want to

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Speaker 4: see stuff just in case. Yeah, it's just not my journey,

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Speaker 4: So mute the whole accounts or the people that are

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Speaker 4: big influencers during this period of time. It's just for now,

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Speaker 4: just for now, and you can maybe find some like

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Speaker 4: budget friendly creators. Do you know who's a really good

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Speaker 4: budget friendly creator? Miss Jess Ricci or true she is

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Speaker 4: she actually does some really good stuff and write your

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Speaker 4: gift list before you open your apps, or even better,

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Speaker 4: do you know what I think that your social detox

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Speaker 4: like your social media detox.

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Speaker 3: Should happen in December. You're up for December.

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Speaker 2: Weirdly, you'd probably save a lot of money, you know,

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Speaker 2: you would in an indirect way.

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Speaker 3: But I get fomo and you get fomo. We just

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Speaker 3: need to find a deal or a way that we can.

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Speaker 2: Deal with it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, So what's number two? Okay? So I've written

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Speaker 3: down the vibe tax. Okay.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if these are lame headings. They probably are,

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Speaker 4: but hopefully you're here because you resonate with my lanman

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Speaker 4: ness spending more because the store feels magical.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, this is so relatable. How many times

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Speaker 3: do you go in and it's just a little something

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Speaker 3: something or a little drink. They get little they have

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Speaker 3: little trinkets.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, I do this, and like I feel

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Speaker 4: like you walk in for like an ornament or something,

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Speaker 4: because like we're Christmas shopping and you're like, I really

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Speaker 4: want to get beck an ornament, and suddenly you're wheeling

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Speaker 4: out with half of kma.

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Speaker 3: Oh but it's so magical, it's so fun, like they've

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Speaker 3: got all VM.

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Speaker 4: To perfection, like the fairy lights. Oh my god, they're

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Speaker 4: playing Mariah Carey. Oh you got to like, sorry, I'm

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Speaker 4: feeling very festive. And the decorations they're all styled to

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Speaker 4: look like they're straight up out of Pinterest, and everything

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Speaker 4: just feels like it just needs a little spot in

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Speaker 4: your trolley.

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Speaker 3: Well, you got to have the fairy lights when you

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Speaker 3: see them up, and you've got to have the tree.

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Speaker 3: You're not right. But do you know what this is?

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Speaker 3: Psychologically speaking? It's called the halo effect. Okay, and it's working.

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Speaker 3: It's it's working, and that's when the environment.

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Speaker 4: If the environment feels good, we assume the products inside

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Speaker 4: of it are better as well. Christmas lights, playlists, the smell,

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, how many times have you walked into

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Speaker 4: Peter Alexander and been like, it's intoxicating in here.

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Speaker 3: It smells like a sweet tree. Oh I love a

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Speaker 3: sweet tree.

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Speaker 2: I do.

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Speaker 3: And then they're like.

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Speaker 4: Decorated for Christmas, and it kind of flips your brain

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Speaker 4: into holiday mode and then all of a sudden you're feeling.

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Speaker 3: Like slightly warm, slightly fuzzy, slightly spendy, and then you're like,

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Speaker 3: I can have this vibe at home.

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Speaker 4: It fills into your shopping choices and we're trying to

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Speaker 4: take the vibes home exactly exactly, Okay, And we don't

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Speaker 4: like hearing this because that's a little bit confronting. But again,

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Speaker 4: this is why marketing spends so much money on visual

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Speaker 4: merchandising the.

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Speaker 3: Store so that you spend more.

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Speaker 4: It's not so Oh, we love our customers so much,

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Speaker 4: we would love them to hear Mariah Carey when we

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Speaker 4: walk Yeah, God, they're trying to get your money.

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Speaker 3: That makes it sound strategic. They're manipula. Doesn't feel as

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Speaker 3: magical like that.

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Speaker 4: No, you walk in, you'd be like, I feel the

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Speaker 4: manipulation in here exactly. And when it comes to research,

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Speaker 4: because like I like backing everything up with research, there

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Speaker 4: have been so many studies that show that the Christmas

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Speaker 4: vibe really does change how we spend in so many

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Speaker 4: sneaky ways. And I've written down a little list from

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Speaker 4: a lot of different places. So shoppers stay longer in

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Speaker 4: stores that play festive music, and one American department store

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Speaker 4: actually found the average spend jumped thirty percent on the

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Speaker 4: days when they had like live carolers.

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Speaker 3: In the store. Oh my god. Of course, so you're thinking,

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Speaker 3: oh my.

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Speaker 4: God, maya there's like cute little lives out of the front,

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Speaker 4: Live Love.

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Speaker 3: Last, Yeah, Yeah, yeah, No, I'm spending yep, yep, that's

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Speaker 3: why they've got them there.

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Speaker 4: And when firstive music is playing, shoppers more likely to

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Speaker 4: add a little extra just in case items to their baskets,

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Speaker 4: things that they didn't plan on buying. And then products

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Speaker 4: are actually perceived like they literally tested this. Products are

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Speaker 4: perceived as higher quality and more gift worthy when they're

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Speaker 4: displayed under Christmas lights and decorations.

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Speaker 3: That makes sense. I feel like there are things that

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Speaker 3: I buy and I'm like, I take them home. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: what the hell am I going to do with this thing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Yes, you go onto a website all of a sudden,

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Speaker 4: they've got a Christmas background, there might be some Christmas music.

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Speaker 4: I just you're getting me because you guys have put

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Speaker 4: a lot of time, energy, and effort into researching what

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Speaker 4: is going to increase your conversion rates?

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Speaker 2: Do you know what?

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Speaker 4: I live in this rock and hard place, right, so

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Speaker 4: I don't want my community to have the mickey taken

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Speaker 4: out of them. I don't want you spending more than

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Speaker 4: you need to. On the flip side, I am wildly

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Speaker 4: passionate about small business. Yeah, and I would tell every

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Speaker 4: small business owner. Yeah, festify your website, like, increase your

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Speaker 4: conversion rate, increase your average customer spend, you know, send

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Speaker 4: them festive emails.

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Speaker 3: That's such a good idea.

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Speaker 4: But then on the flip side, I'm like, beck, don't

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Speaker 4: don't fall for this stuff that I'm helping with.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, totally.

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Speaker 4: It's like my love for small business, but then also

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Speaker 4: my love for being like, hey, be a smart consumer, like,

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Speaker 4: just make sure that you're not making impulse decisions.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just work for the devil, I suppose. So

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Speaker 3: you know what we're going to do instead? Yes, what

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Speaker 3: diy vibes? Okay, so make your own magic at home. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but it's really nice with a playlist.

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Speaker 4: And then Christmas treats so that you're not chasing it

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Speaker 4: in shops and stores, you're not trying to go down

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Speaker 4: to the local shopping.

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Speaker 3: Area and like get your vibes there. We have that

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Speaker 3: at home.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and then while your vibes are high, maybe you

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Speaker 4: made a little hot choky at home, we're playing the

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Speaker 4: Mariah Carey Christmas list.

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Speaker 3: Do you know what we will do?

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Speaker 4: Actually, yeah, we will put together all of the She's

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Speaker 4: on the Money favorite Christmas songs into a Christmas playlist

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Speaker 4: on our Spotify because I think a lot of people

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Speaker 4: don't know that we actually not only have our podcast

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Speaker 4: on Spotify, but we have a Spotify account with different playlists.

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Speaker 4: In these playlists is like infesting budgeting saving. I'm a

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Speaker 4: make a Christmas one, yes, and it will be our

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Speaker 4: favorite songs, some.

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Speaker 3: Boo Blay, a lot of boo.

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Speaker 4: Blaze, Like if you don't like Mariah Carey and Boublay

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Speaker 4: steer very clear. Absolutely we're going to go ham. But

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Speaker 4: what I want you to do is do that at home.

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Speaker 4: Write a list, check it twice, check it twice, and

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Speaker 4: keep the vibes at your house so that they don't

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Speaker 4: hijack your budget.

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Speaker 3: That's so true. And then actually bake gingerbread cookies so your.

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Speaker 4: Is so cute and like, I know it sounds so lame,

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Speaker 4: but like goal, I want your baked home goods rather

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Speaker 4: than a present.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm exactly the same. Okay, what's the next

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Speaker 3: on the list? The payback present? Oh that sounds so mean.

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Speaker 4: It does, but like, how many times have you been

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Speaker 4: given a gift and then you felt like you had

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Speaker 4: to like a gift of similar value?

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Speaker 3: That's so true. Like, oh, SPEC's birthday, she spent fifty

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Speaker 3: bucks on my present. I have to get her a present.

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Speaker 4: Same stuff happens at Christmas, yeap, Like maybe you budgeted

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Speaker 4: thirty bucks for your cousin's Christmas present because you got

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Speaker 4: them in Chris Kringled this year, and then she hands

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Speaker 4: you a luck seventy dollar candle and then the next

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Speaker 4: thing you know, you're scrambling for a seventy dollar outcha

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Speaker 4: because you just want to even the score and make

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Speaker 4: sure that she doesn't think that you think she's worthless.

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Speaker 3: Yep. Yeah, is that stupid or is that stupid?

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Speaker 2: No, it's really hard when people it's nice, but it's like, okay,

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Speaker 2: that's adding to the amount that I've got to spend now.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and again back to psychology, it's called the reciprocacy norm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So it's like this dumb, really dumb social rule that

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Speaker 4: we assume must be return equal value. Yes, at Christmas,

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Speaker 4: I would say, the urge to keep relationships quote balanced,

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Speaker 4: pushes people to overspend consistently.

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Speaker 2: I get it.

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Speaker 4: An interesting fact for you, Beck, Psychologists once tested just

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Speaker 4: how deep the urge to give back goes. So this

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Speaker 4: was in the nineteen seventies, and I would say it's

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Speaker 4: worse now because social media didn't exist in the nineteen seventies.

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Speaker 4: But a researcher mailed out hundreds of Christmas cards to

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Speaker 4: complete strangers, like complete strangers, and then his letterbox started

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Speaker 4: filling up with cards in return.

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Speaker 3: That is so cute. I think it's cute. But they

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Speaker 3: were like, oh my god, did I forget that I

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Speaker 3: know this person? Like we should send one back.

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Speaker 4: Families literally wrote back, kids drew pictures, people wished him

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Speaker 4: marry Christmas as if they had known him for years.

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Speaker 3: That is automatic.

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Speaker 4: Their reciprocacy reflex is if someone gives us something, our

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Speaker 4: brain instantly feels like, oh my god, I owe them

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Speaker 4: something back, even if it makes zero logical sense.

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Speaker 2: I e.

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Speaker 4: Some random researcher sent me a Christmas card, debate me

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Speaker 4: to see if I would fall for it, and.

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Speaker 3: Then they fail for it. Oh that is something. This

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Speaker 3: thing's so sweet about that. It's also kind of cute, Like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, do good be good? Send a Christmas card?

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Speaker 3: They're cute, yeah, with a little candy cane inside. Oh

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Speaker 3: my god, I know like you.

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Speaker 4: Used to in grade three when you would do your

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Speaker 4: Christmas cards, and you would take the candy cane.

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Speaker 2: To the envelope, actually write something in the envelope, though

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Speaker 2: I mean inside the card, because some people do a

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Speaker 2: well written card. A well written card, andy candy cane

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Speaker 2: is all you need to do this Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely.

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Speaker 4: The other thing that we're going to do instead of

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Speaker 4: this reciprocacy reflex is set a family wide budget. Or

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Speaker 4: I've talked about this before in our previous Christmas episodes.

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Speaker 4: We do Chris Kringle in our family, and I think

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Speaker 4: you should too, because when the rules are really clear,

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Speaker 4: the pressure to match disappears. Yes, exactly, Like it also

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Speaker 4: changes our entire budget. Like our family is growing, like

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Speaker 4: not just my family, but you know, more nieces and

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Speaker 4: nephews than.

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Speaker 3: We've had before all of that stuff.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we cannot be expected to always bring a present

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Speaker 4: for every uncle and aunt and cousin that's coming to Christmas.

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Speaker 4: And I don't know about you, but I love having

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Speaker 4: lots of people around at Christmas. So like, the more

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Speaker 4: the merrier Chris Kringle means that that more than marrier

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Speaker 4: doesn't become more the merrier out of home budget to

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Speaker 4: make sure that everyone coming to my house, has a

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Speaker 4: present totally.

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Speaker 3: Because regardless, you've only got to buy one present, that's it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And like I have spoken about this before, you

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Speaker 4: can also have like random Christmas rules like we have

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Speaker 4: second hand, handmade or homemade as a rule in one

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Speaker 4: side of our family.

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Speaker 3: So much fun, totally, No, I really really like this idea.

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Speaker 3: It's so fun.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, bech Let's take a really quick break, but friends,

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Speaker 4: stay with us because we're still talking about Christmas and

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Speaker 4: next we're going to be diving into more of the

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Speaker 4: psychology of exactly why we overspend on gifts and just

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Speaker 4: spoiler before we get to the ad break, it has

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Speaker 4: way less to do with them and way more.

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Speaker 2: To do with you. Okay, bye, welcome back everyone. Before

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Speaker 2: the break, VD drops something very very I would say a.

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Speaker 4: Personal attack, but it was needed. Yeah, like, it's not

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Speaker 4: it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's me saying it's not me,

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Speaker 4: it's you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly exactly.

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Speaker 2: So we were talking about the pressure to match the

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Speaker 2: money people spend on us, and I guess, like, it's

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Speaker 2: really silly.

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Speaker 3: But what else is there on the list of why

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Speaker 3: we overspend on gifts?

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Speaker 4: I've written this down as the stress to impress aha,

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Speaker 4: blowing your budget just because you don't want to look

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Speaker 4: like a stingy gowl, which.

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Speaker 3: Is hard when you are genuinely broke and you.

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Speaker 2: Just get it.

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Speaker 4: Like I feel like we're all trying to keep up

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Speaker 4: with the Kardashians, with the Joneses, whatever. I feel like

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Speaker 4: there's this underlying pressure, and you know what, it's actually

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Speaker 4: crazy because I was thinking about this episode and pulling

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Speaker 4: it all together. And I used to feel that a

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Speaker 4: lot more when I had no money than now when

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Speaker 4: I am. I would say very financially comfortable. So now

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Speaker 4: I'm financially comfortable. I feel like I don't think that

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Speaker 4: you would think I was stingy if I brought you

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Speaker 4: a ten dollar gift.

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Speaker 3: Totally.

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Speaker 4: I think that you would just hopefully assume that you know,

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Speaker 4: I really thought about it, because yeah, it's this dumb

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Speaker 4: psychology right like, deep down I know that you know

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Speaker 4: that I'm not broke. Yeah, so if I got you

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Speaker 4: a ten dollar gift, I am hoping that the assumption

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Speaker 4: would be that you just assume that was because I

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Speaker 4: am thoughtful and kind and it's the thought that counts. Yes,

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Speaker 4: January is when I had no money. If I bought

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Speaker 4: you a ten dollar gift. In the back of my mind,

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Speaker 4: all I'm thinking of is does beck Noll was worth

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Speaker 4: ten dollars? Does she think I'm being stingy? Does she

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Speaker 4: think I didn't spend enough? Like you get all of

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Speaker 4: these additional layers of doubt, which keeps you in debt,

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Speaker 4: which keeps you in a position where you're not putting

438
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,679
Speaker 4: your financial future first. And it's an interesting reflection because

439
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 4: I don't feel that about gifts now. I'm genuinely and

440
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 4: this is a privilege, and please don't get me wrong,

441
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 4: I'm speaking from immense privilege of having financial freedom. But

442
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 4: don't get me wrong, I also know I created that myself. Yeah,

443
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,880
Speaker 4: but it's an interesting conundrum, right, like where you don't

444
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,479
Speaker 4: have enough and you feel like you don't have enough,

445
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 4: and then you feel like you're being stingy because you're

446
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,360
Speaker 4: restricting your budget because you should be doing that. Yeah,

447
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 4: And to dive a little bit deeper into not me,

448
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 4: but more into this concept like you actually have no

449
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 4: clue what your partner's mama's into, maybe lack and this

450
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 4: is just an example. Maybe like you've METO twice and

451
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 4: you're it's kind of a new you know, you're meeting

452
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 4: Jess's parents for the first time. You're like stress seeing

453
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 4: and all you know is that she's like a bit fancy,

454
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:57,399
Speaker 4: she likes nice things. The pressure so you play it

455
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,400
Speaker 4: safe and you grab what is maybe the fan fansiest

456
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 4: bottle of perfume or the fanciest bottle of champagne that

457
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 4: you can afford, because you just go, oh, she likes

458
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 4: nice things, because at least no one can say it

459
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 4: looks cheap yeap.

460
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 3: You don't want to look cheap, do you know exactly?

461
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 4: And this is stupid, I know, but you know what

462
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 4: it's called. It's called self presentation anxiety. Okay, So, because

463
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 4: gifts feel like they're a reflection of you, right, and

464
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 4: you know what, the more you care about gifting, the

465
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 4: worse this is for you, Like, the more you deeply

466
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 4: care about other people, the more you're going to suffer

467
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 4: from this. When you're not sure what to buy, you

468
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 4: actually just default the pricey option so that you don't

469
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 4: feel like you look thoughtless.

470
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's basically you overspending to safe face.

471
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's so like yeah, attackable, that's literally me.

472
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 2: And then you end up being like, well, I can't

473
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 2: hold food for us a week.

474
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,719
Speaker 3: But that's because at least this random person that I'm

475
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 3: not a gift for doesn't think that I'm cheap. Yeah,

476
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 3: it's crazy.

477
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 4: They didn't even think about it to begin with. They

478
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,040
Speaker 4: were just like, oh, that's so nice. Come empty handed.

479
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 4: You could have brought a piece of paper with a

480
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 4: drawing of a cat on it. She probably would have

481
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,160
Speaker 4: been impressed, like, my god, it's great day. You were annoying, right,

482
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 4: And then going back to research, studies find the givers

483
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 4: assume people want to be wold, but recipients consistently report

484
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 4: feeling closer to someone who nails like the small practical

485
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 4: things they actually wanted. Yes, like, maybe you did go

486
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 4: to Jess's mum's house one time and you noticed she

487
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 4: didn't have a bottle opener.

488
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, and you.

489
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 4: Remembered and wrote it down in your notes app and

490
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 4: then that's what you got her for Christmas and it

491
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 4: cost you like eight bucks at Dan Murphy's.

492
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she's like, oh my god, you remembered that.

493
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 3: That's so funny.

494
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 4: I've been thinking about getting a bottle opener, but I

495
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 4: always forget totally.

496
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 3: That's the world factor. One of my favorite gifts to

497
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,960
Speaker 3: see you for my birthday was a microwave, really cheap

498
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 3: one from Kmart. There was just like.

499
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 2: Smimmick all love a practical and it's just like somebody

500
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 2: I had. I kept banging on about. I was like,

501
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 2: I need to get a microwave, but I didn't realize

502
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 2: anyone was like paying attention. I was just like constantly

503
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 2: complaining And then I got.

504
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 3: A microwave for my birthday and I was like, this

505
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 3: is the best. It makes you feel. So scene. So yeah, I.

506
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: Actually agree, not that that's like any small feet, like

507
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 2: it's quite expensive, but it's like no, but.

508
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 3: It's not the point you felt heard and you felt seen.

509
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 2: Totally felt seen, and so I think that absolutely makes sense.

510
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 2: Like if you realize that someone needs something, even if

511
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 2: it's like a spatula.

512
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 4: Like whatever, it is that my creepy notes section. That's

513
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 4: so cute, so important. There was one study where recipients

514
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 4: actually rated the gift of a pair of socks that

515
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 4: they'd asked for as more thoughtful than surprise jewelry.

516
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally scene. So much to this, that's crazy, Like

517
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 3: you relate the pay attention to what people say pay attention,

518
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 3: keep a creepy note, sat, Yes, I completely agree. So

519
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 3: what are we going to do instead?

520
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 4: Huh, We're going to swap expensive practical with a personal twist.

521
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 4: So choose something that they'll actually use and add a note.

522
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 4: So this is where your card comes in handy that

523
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 4: shows you thought about them. Oh my gosh, I I

524
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 4: just noticed that, Xyz. Because even if it's not a

525
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 4: incredible gift that they're like, oh my god, like Beck

526
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 4: thought I didn't have this, but I actually did.

527
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 3: It's the thought.

528
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, a gift card for their favorite cafe plus a

529
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 4: little handwritten note is going to beat any random luxury buy.

530
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 4: I promise, absolutely completely agree. What else we have on

531
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 4: the list? All right, so the whole fact at tas Okay,

532
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 4: I told you these we're going to be lame, I

533
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,120
Speaker 4: told you, but hopefully you remember them. So that's when

534
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 4: the gift costs more than it's worth to the recipient. Yeah, okay,

535
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 4: so what does that actually mean? So maybe you've splashed

536
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 4: out one hundred and twenty bucks on like a gadget

537
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 4: or like a novelty, thinking this is going to land

538
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 4: as like a whole gift on the day, but instead

539
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 4: they didn't even open the box and it's like the

540
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 4: end of January and money has gone down the drain.

541
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that is shit, I know. So why does

542
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 3: this happen?

543
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 4: This one happens literally when there's a misalignment between what

544
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 4: you think they'll value and what they actually do value,

545
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 4: and givers often chase surprise or like spectacle, and the

546
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 4: misfire then happens because you're shopping from your perspective, not

547
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:10,360
Speaker 4: their perspective.

548
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 3: You didn't actually put yourself in their shoes. And that's

549
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 3: why we say pay attention and keep a creepy notes list.

550
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 2: Yees.

551
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 3: So there was actually an economist.

552
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 4: So his name's Joel Wold fugle Oh yep, I wanted

553
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 4: to call him Joel Wold frugal, but oh, how.

554
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 3: You say it? They is so clearly good that it

555
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 3: wasn't anyway.

556
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 4: He studied holiday gifting and found recipients typically value gifts

557
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 4: at ten to thirty percent less than.

558
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 3: What the giver actually paid.

559
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,479
Speaker 4: Ah, so goal, you better be getting your Christmas presents

560
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 4: on sale because your friends are assuming they were discounted.

561
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 4: And this gap is just pure waste and honestly proof

562
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,360
Speaker 4: that the whole factor spending often completely misses the mark

563
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 4: because the giver and the recipient aren't aligned on what

564
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 4: is actually meaningful, on what these things actually mean?

565
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 3: So what are we going to do instead? But you're

566
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 3: going to close the gap? So stick to wish lists?

567
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, stick to practical upgrades, maybe consumables or shared experiences,

568
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 4: which are one of my favorite things to gift people. These,

569
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 4: I would say, align better with what people actually want

570
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 4: so that your money isn't ending up in the regift pile. Yeah, yeah, honestly, Like,

571
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, but also I believe in regifting.

572
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I totally agree. If you've got it, you know

573
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 2: someone else will value it, Why the hell not? Okay,

574
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 2: what's next on the list?

575
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 3: All right?

576
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 4: So the done but not done twitch? Okay, Okay, you've

577
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 4: had it before. I know you've had it before. Your becksied.

578
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 4: You just care too much? Oh so like you when

579
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,239
Speaker 4: you go shopping for jess A's presence, Yes, and then

580
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 4: they're all in front of you and you're like, I'm

581
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 4: not done though, Oh my god, totally I need to

582
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 4: get something else, yes, like tell yourself you're finished. And

583
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,919
Speaker 4: then you're like, oh, just twitching for one more thing,

584
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 4: Like I just want to add another thing to the

585
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 4: other to the Christmas tree, or I just want to

586
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 4: make sure that you know just has another thing under

587
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 4: the tree, or like you know the twitch. Oh yeah,

588
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 4: you just have an overwhelming kill feeling that it's not

589
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,639
Speaker 4: enough even the bloody is. Yes, you've wrapped like your

590
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 4: last present, you ticked the list, you even bragged to

591
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 4: all your friends.

592
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 3: I'm done make Christmas shopping early.

593
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 4: Sit down, But then you see a perfect little extra

594
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 4: or oh you worry that the pile once it's all

595
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 4: wrap doesn't look as good under the tree You're like,

596
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 4: that looks a little bit thin. And suddenly you're topping

597
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 4: up right until Christmas Eve, which is so dumb because.

598
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,920
Speaker 3: That wasn't part of the plan. And if top of

599
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 3: one person, you got top of everyone.

600
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 4: Joy and psychologists you literally call it the shopping momentum effect.

601
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,400
Speaker 4: Like you made one purchase, you're more likely to make another,

602
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 4: even if it's completely unrelated. Yep, So that first yes,

603
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 4: and this is again something that I teach my small

604
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 4: business friends.

605
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 3: We're just trying to get that first yes.

606
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 4: You're trying to get over the first hurdle, right, but

607
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 4: that first yes flips your brain into buying mode and

608
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 4: then each check out gives you a little bit of

609
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 4: a dopamine hit, especially if you're like Beck and I.

610
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 3: Spendy. We love a little bit of a dobamin here. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

611
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 3: but it reinforces that loop. Right.

612
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 4: Weeks of gift hunting have trained your little brain into

613
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 4: a habit see buy, reward repeat. Even when the list

614
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 4: is finished, the urge to keep buying lingers. It's a

615
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 4: bit like a fantomic. Yes, I get it, but we

616
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 4: want to keep spending. It was fun, it's fun.

617
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 3: It's so fun.

618
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 4: It's so fun. And then let's add in like decision fatigue.

619
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 4: And then all of the social pressure that you're finding

620
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 4: exists during Christmas time, which is why you should delete

621
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 4: socials over Christmas. What if the pile looks too small

622
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 4: by that? What if someone gives me more than I

623
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,959
Speaker 4: gave them? Yeah, And then the constant cues from all

624
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 4: your ads on social media and the like twitch to

625
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 4: overspend almost becomes automatic.

626
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just go, oh, I have to in your head,

627
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 3: you have to, and it's so yeah, it just stays

628
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 3: in there. It just grows and grows.

629
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 4: And researchers once run an experiment where people bought a

630
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:03,239
Speaker 4: tiny item like a key chain, and found that they

631
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 4: were far more likely to buy another unrelated product straight after.

632
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 3: That makes sense.

633
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 4: That makes sense, yep, And there's like brain imaging studies

634
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 4: that back this up. Making a purchase triggers a real

635
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,719
Speaker 4: quick burst of dopamine. So we're not just saying, oh,

636
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 4: it feels good because we've made it up in our heads. No, no, no,

637
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 4: we literally release dopamine yep, Like it's the feel good

638
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 4: hormone in our body, but it gives us this quick

639
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 4: burst of dopamine in your brain's reward center and the hive. Sorry,

640
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 4: it doesn't last very long, which is why you like

641
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 4: a little bit twitchy for another buy, even.

642
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: When your list is completely done. Back, Oh my god,

643
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 3: how do we avoid this? I don't know. We've got

644
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 3: to be less impulsive, but like, it just feels so good,

645
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 3: feel good. What are we going to do instead?

646
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 4: Tell me when the list is done, move leftover budget

647
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 4: to savings, or invest it because like when it's invested,

648
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 4: as you know, it feels even worse to pull it

649
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 4: out of that. Yeah, and that's going to add some

650
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 4: friction to other purchase because you've removed your card or

651
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 4: you've deleted the apps, or like sorry, we're actually all done,

652
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 4: Like there's another hurdle in the way for me to

653
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 4: actually add another present to this pile because I actually

654
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 4: don't have any cash. I'm gonna have to transfer it back.

655
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 4: Like create hurdles to yourself. And then also wrap everything

656
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 4: early and put it under the tree to signal to

657
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 4: your brain that the job is done, you're complete, Like

658
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 4: we do not have to do anything else, because I

659
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 4: think so many times for me, it's out of sight,

660
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 4: out of mind, just like in you know, the shopping

661
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 4: bags in my study, and I know I need to

662
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 4: get to wrapping it, but I haven't, and then I

663
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 4: forget what's in the shopping bags in the study, Like

664
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 4: I forgot, and then it doesn't feel like a big

665
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 4: enough pile even there that I think I have to continue. Yes,

666
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 4: And we're also going to switch the ritual, so every

667
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 4: time you feel the little twitch, we're going to do

668
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 4: a little festive tasks. Good idea, you're a bake, We're

669
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 4: gonna put it on a Christmas song. We maybe are

670
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,479
Speaker 4: going to watch a Christmas movie or like write Christmas cards,

671
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 4: because how many of us leave all of those to

672
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 4: Christmas Eve?

673
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 3: As well. Yes, a Christmas card? Okay, what's last on

674
00:31:59,000 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: your list?

675
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 4: Okay, so it's the last minute markup, so rude, spending

676
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 4: more because you left it too late to properly order

677
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 4: it online for the most discounted price dogs. Yeah, Like

678
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 4: I mean we also need to make sure that if

679
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 4: we are doing this, like for example, if we're going

680
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 4: into JB High Fight to pick up something last minute, girl,

681
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 4: they price match, Yes, so you make sure you're doing

682
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 4: your research because the last minute markup is so rude

683
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 4: because you miss the shipping cutoffs, all the early sales,

684
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 4: and suddenly you're paying premium prices just to get something

685
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 4: in time so that you don't look like a terrible

686
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 4: person or a terrible friend, even though that's not the

687
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 4: case at all. That might mean copying like Express post fees,

688
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 4: so you might still be getting it online, be like

689
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 4: I need to pay for Express Post, yeah, or settling

690
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 4: for like the last overpriced option on the shelf, or

691
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 4: panic buying a more expensive gift because the cheaper ones

692
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 4: are all sold out. I meant to get them this

693
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 4: like small gift pack with two items in it, but

694
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 4: the only one left over is like the four pa

695
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 4: I'll just get the four pack, like, oh's exactly that's it,

696
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 4: And you know what happens, yes, tell me.

697
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: So.

698
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 4: As the deadline looms, decision making gets mess cy, we

699
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: get more stressed, and we're stressy. With less time and

700
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 4: fewer good options left, your brain literally prioritizes getting it

701
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 4: done over getting it right. Just buy it, just do

702
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 4: it because I'm stressed. And psychologists call this time pressure

703
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 4: decision making. When we're rushed, we lean on their easiest solution,

704
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 4: and it's often overpriced. How many times and I know

705
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 4: you've done this, if you've been like, I am so stressed.

706
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 4: I just need to get to this appointment. I need

707
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,479
Speaker 4: to get to this location. I'm going to park somewhere.

708
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 4: I might get a fine.

709
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, every day because you're like, I.

710
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 4: Know it's going to be expensive, but I just I

711
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 4: don't have a lot of You feel like your decision

712
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 4: making is taken away from you totally, totally. That's we

713
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 4: don't want that. No layer in gift giving guilt. Yeah,

714
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 4: so you're feeling bad already, like, oh my god, I

715
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 4: can't arrive empty handed. Go You're just gonna grab whatever's

716
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 4: left on the shelf and pay for express shipping just

717
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 4: so that it solves your stress in that moment. It

718
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 4: creates future you problems exactly. Oh and you know what,

719
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 4: this isn't just me going oh, I feel this and

720
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 4: I want to share it. Research on consumer behavior shows

721
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,359
Speaker 4: that when people shop under tight deadlines, they become far

722
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 4: more likely to just choose the easy option rather than

723
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 4: the one that is of best value.

724
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 3: And that's why.

725
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:27,959
Speaker 4: Florist's and delivery apps make an absolute mint on Christmas Eve.

726
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 4: It's not the price, it's the panic.

727
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 3: You're like, I just gotta get it done.

728
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 4: I'm just going to pick up some flowers on Christmas Eve.

729
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 4: Oh my god, how kind is this Flora's to be

730
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 4: open on Christmas Eve?

731
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 2: I know, I know.

732
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 3: Oh, that's so nice of them to be open.

733
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's one of their biggest trading days of the

734
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 4: years because we're all useless. Beck, Oh my god, they

735
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 4: are smart.

736
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:50,760
Speaker 3: So what are you going to do? Instead?

737
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 4: You're going to plan a cut off for yourself that's

738
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 4: earlier than the real one. Yeah, I have to gaslight

739
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 4: myself this year. It turns out Christmas weird. I need

740
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 4: to have everything done by the fifteenth of December. Yes,

741
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 4: we're early we're ten days early. It has to be

742
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 4: done by then, because in my head, I like literally

743
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 4: have it in my calendar Christmas shopping done here, Like

744
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 4: I've put account down, like we are making sure that

745
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 4: everything is done by then. Or if you know you're

746
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 4: a last minute girly, because some of us are, I

747
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 4: would predecide a go to gift category, So like what's

748
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 4: your default? Is it going to be a voucher? Is

749
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 4: it going to be an experience? Is it going to

750
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 4: be some type of consumable so that you're not paying

751
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 4: the desperation tax?

752
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 3: So you know, Okay, well I've left it too late.

753
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 3: This is my default option that still fits within my budget, and.

754
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,720
Speaker 4: I'm going to get back that instead because I can't

755
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 4: get the thing I actually wanted to get her.

756
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we're not paying a premium on that.

757
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 2: This has been extremely helpful and every single thing is

758
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 2: a personal attack, very relatable, and I would try to

759
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 2: go as well.

760
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 4: I get it absolutely, and you know why I knew

761
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 4: all those things. I suffer from all these things.

762
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 2: Well, okay, so that was the last one on the lists,

763
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 2: and I've got to admit I feel a little bit

764
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,720
Speaker 2: better about facing the Christmas chaos.

765
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 3: Start your creepy list in your notes app right now.

766
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,919
Speaker 3: Start it right now, Write down all.

767
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 4: Of the names you need to buy force and then

768
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 4: start brainstorming ideas under it. Doesn't mean you need to

769
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 4: buy every single item under that, but you could be like, oh,

770
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 4: my goodness, like earrings for Jess or oh, I really

771
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 4: want to get her this, like all that, and then

772
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 4: you might pick a couple of those options. Yes, and

773
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 4: then don't delete the note. Keep it for her birthday,

774
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 4: keep it for like future things exactly exactly.

775
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:33,720
Speaker 3: Just because it's on the list.

776
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 4: And you think is a really good gift doesn't mean

777
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 4: it isn't a really good gift for later totally future.

778
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 3: You a winner.

779
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so I think let's leave it here, let's

780
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,399
Speaker 2: put a pin in it, Let's go back our list

781
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 2: and check it twice.

782
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

783
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 4: And I guess that's why I love doing episodes like this,

784
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 4: because once you know what these little spending.

785
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 3: Traps are, you're like, oh, there's so many pillatives.

786
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 4: You get to take some of your power back and

787
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 4: you can still lean into I guess, the fun and

788
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 4: the generosity of the FIRSTIFC and make sure that you're

789
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 4: spending on your own terms. Guys, if this episode gave

790
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 4: you a little bit of a Christmas confidence boost, I

791
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 4: would love it if you sent it to a friend

792
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,720
Speaker 4: who's also really trying hard not to blow the budget

793
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 4: this Christmas, because it might put them in a better position.

794
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,320
Speaker 4: And don't forget to follow or subscribe so that you

795
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 4: don't miss what's coming up next.

796
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 3: We've got plenty more.

797
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 4: Episodes on Christmas, but also to help you kick off

798
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 4: the new year feeling come confident and in control of

799
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 4: your money.

800
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,280
Speaker 3: And we'll see you guys on Friday.

801
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 5: Bye. The ad buy shared on She's on the Money

802
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 5: is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

803
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 5: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and

804
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 5: should not be relied upon to make an investment or

805
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 5: financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,

806
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 5: read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.

807
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 3: Advice tailored towards your needs.

808
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 5: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money, Authorized Representatives of

809
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 5: Money Shopper, p T Y L T D A B

810
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,439
Speaker 5: N three two one six four nine two seven seven

811
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 5: zero eight A F S L four five one two

812
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 5: eight nine