WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Peg him like a Queen 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:01.920 Do you know what I'm crazy? Lewis couch what I'm 0:00:02.040 --> 0:00:05.080 calling your dog? Yeah, it wasn't intentionally, but it just 0:00:05.240 --> 0:00:07.400 started and now it's on a repeat. You don't know 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:15.080 your worth? What song is that? You don't know your worth? 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:39.960 I literally have no idea what song this year? Hey guys, 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:42.800 and welcome back to another episode of Life. I'm Card, 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.199 I'm Brittany, and I'm Laura, and this is our Thursday episode. 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:49.120 It is out, down and dirty, little ask uncut episode 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:54.120 where we answer we're deep, dark and burning questions and Brittany, okay, 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:57.280 we spoke about the whole Tuesday beginning intro chat on 0:00:57.320 --> 0:01:00.880 Tuesday's episode was around moving house. Now, britt has just 0:01:00.920 --> 0:01:04.080 spent her entire day today moving house. So this is 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:06.880 nine pm. We are recording at nine pm. I have 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:09.560 been moving since seven am this morning. It has been 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:14.400 a very very very big day. But also we committed 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:16.320 to the course, like we're never going to I shouldn't 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:17.800 say we're never going to miss an episode because we're 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:21.440 literally going to miss an episode next week. No, we 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:24.039 haven't missed an episode in a year. We really try 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:27.440 not to miss anything. So I am absolutely exhausted Laura's 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:29.360 been moving all week, but we wanted to get it done. 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:32.240 So I've left my house. It is still not unpacked whatsoever. 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.880 I've left my cute little Delilah at home manning the fort. 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:38.120 But we did speak about the fact that I was moving. Wait, 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.080 when you say you left your house, are we going 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.360 to tell the people whose house you actually did leave? Well, yes, 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:49.920 I I have moved into Laura's house. Funnily enough, so 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:52.240 when we record a Tuesday's episode, britt was like, I 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.360 don't want everyone to know that I'm now living in 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:56.360 your old apartment. She was like, I just I don't 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:58.520 want the paps to know. Like, can we just not 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:00.440 address it on the podcast? Can we just say that 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:02.680 we're both moving at the same time? And I was like, yeah, sure, 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:05.080 we can lie to the people whatever whatever makes you happy. 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.960 Daily Mail just outed Brittany about ten minutes ago, saying, 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:12.440 Brittany Hockley moving in to best friend and co host 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.639 Laura Burn's old house. So yeah, we just literally did. 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:18.760 They're like house swap best friend house swap, which essentially 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:20.960 it is. I just didn't settle apartments. I didn't even 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.480 see them there. I wasn't looking my best was like 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:26.280 Brittie's all she was carrying was a plant, like a 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.880 tiny little pop plan. Every there was these two burly 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:31.560 like removalists moving everything else, and there's like, oh, it's 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:34.200 so hard moving with my pop plan. That's so funny. 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:36.200 I've got one, literally you have to look it up. 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.120 I've got the Tinese pop plant ever. But that plant, 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:41.520 have a look, it's driving. It's really it's like one 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:43.040 of those long vine plants, you know, the ones that 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:45.480 like it's because they're a weed. It's a poison ivy. 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:47.959 They're a weed, and they literally you can keep them alive. 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:49.919 You could never water them. They could be in the 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:51.400 middle of the Hara desert and then you give them 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:53.440 one drop of water and they're like, ha ha, why 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:55.480 don't you knocking down when I'm on a high? Laura. 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:58.080 I also really loved that you were like, I have 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:01.560 been moving all day. I am so exhausted. And then 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:04.160 the true like the photo evidence came out, which is 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:05.840 you carrying a plan. You know that. I mean it 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:10.760 looks really and then one blanket it looks really funny, 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:13.160 but you have to remember that you see what the 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:15.320 perhaps want you to see. There were a lot of 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:17.680 heavy lifting. There's a lot of box carrying. It was 0:03:17.800 --> 0:03:20.919 a very big day. But anyway, they've added me. I 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:23.240 moved into Laura's house. But it was just a really 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.640 really perfect swap. Laura obviously had a big house than mine. 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:29.160 She had room for her dog Buster. It was really 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:31.040 really I needed an office for the life on Cut, 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:33.840 we needed space for Delilah. And I'm also a creature 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:36.000 to have it and I hate change. So now anytime 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:37.480 that I'm feeling like a little bit of a ditch 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:39.640 in back, back bridges comes out of the lounge and 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:41.960 I'm just there on the couch like it doesn't feel 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:44.240 the same. But yeah, basically I'll be spending all my 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:47.160 free time at BRIT's house now. So fine, so fine. 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.600 Something funny did happen to be moving actually, and it's 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:53.080 not on par anywhere You're on par with your vibrator story, Laura, 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:56.280 But can we just make sure that that's crystal clear 0:03:56.320 --> 0:04:00.480 it's a theragun story. It wasn't a vibrator story. But 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:02.600 I was like busy doing my own stuff in other 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:04.880 rooms while these two big burly men were moving around 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:09.120 doing their own stuff. And once they moved the last 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.160 thing they moved was the washing machine out. They moved 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.920 it out, so the whole house was empty. I go 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.360 in just to do one more sweep, and I can 0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:21.360 see three pairs of like the laciest laciest, sexiest white 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:26.640 underwear that have obviously at some stage fallen behind the 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:29.040 back of the washing machine in the throes of passion. 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:31.960 Now they weren't clean underwear. They were like, Oh, I 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:33.480 don't know, they've probably been there for a year. I 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:34.880 don't know how long they've been there. I think they've 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:36.960 fallen out of washing basket. So these men of one 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:39.039 hundred percent looked at them. I hope they didn't touch them, 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.520 and I hope they just walk back at your crunchy 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:45.200 yellow lundies. No, they were white. They were sexy, lazy ones. 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:46.400 But I don't know it was worse. I don't know 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:48.040 if I should have had my bridge at Jones's there 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:51.240 or my sexy ones. What would I prefer. I think 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:54.800 I'd prefer removalst to see like my bones undies that like, Okay, 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.359 I have sexy undies anyway. Thank you to every single 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:59.599 person who has written in a question for this week's 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:03.240 We've picked out three goodies today but before we get 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:06.000 into answering your questions, we wanted to talk about something 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:09.680 that's pretty remarkable and special and just gives you all 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:12.160 the feels that has gone down in the Facebook group 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:15.680 over the last couple of days and also across social media. Now, 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:17.840 if you are a member of the Facebook group, you 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.600 might be familiar with a post from Jamie Warnett which 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:22.720 was in regards to you. So, Jamie is a she's 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.440 a property manager. She is a real estate agent, and 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.919 she works on rentals in the Gold Coast, and she 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.599 posted about one of her eighty year old tenants who'd 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:33.599 been living in a property for a really long time, 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:37.640 and unfortunately the owners of that property were wanting him 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:40.760 to move out. Apparently he'd been paying like far below 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.640 what is the standard rental rate for that place because 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:46.120 he'd been there for so long. Yeah, I don't think 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.200 it was a matter of them kicking him out. It 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.280 actually sounds like the owners of the property've been doing 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:52.160 him a solid favor for a long time, and I 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.320 guess it got to the point where at the end 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.560 of the day, I guess people have mortgages to pay. 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:58.479 And that's the impression I get of what went down 0:05:58.640 --> 0:06:00.960 totally and there was no pain like the owners of 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:03.800 this place, as like the villains in the story. But 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:05.520 at the end of the day, there was an eighty 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:08.320 year old man named Dennis who had nowhere to move to. 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:11.839 He had no help, no support, no one to pack boxes, 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:15.520 no one to move maybe week by week on the pension. Yeah, 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:18.640 literally no money to be able to support himself, not 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:20.560 only just into a move, but to be able to 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.560 pay rent. Following up and Jamie, out of the absolute 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:25.479 goodness of her own heart, she put out the post 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:27.280 on the Life on Cut community and she was like, 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:29.719 I feel like I need to do something for this man. 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:31.680 As the property manager, She's like, I feel like I 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:34.440 need to help him. And the Life on Cut group 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:37.200 was like, why don't you start a GoFundMe. So Jamie 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:39.719 went and created a GoFundMe page and she put it 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.400 out to the Life on Cut group. We shared it 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:44.200 throughout socials as well, and at the time of recording this, 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:48.760 that GoFundMe page had amassed thirty five thousand dollars. Now 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:52.080 the year pension is only twenty five thousand. So I 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:54.120 wanted to share that with you all because I just 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:57.360 am so fucking proud of the life on cut community. 0:06:57.440 --> 0:07:00.359 It's so amazing to see social media be used for good, 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:03.160 to help somebody out. And yeah, thank you to every 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.760 single person who jumped on board, who donated and who 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:10.200 knows the story. Well, it's actually nearly at forty thousand dollars, Laura, Yeah, 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:14.400 there's one point six thousand people have donated, which is incredible. 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:17.400 And Celeste Barber, somehow this made it to Celeste Barber. 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.040 Celeste Barber throw in a few grand It's been absolutely 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:22.760 incredible And at the end of the day, I am 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.000 just so proud, like Laura just said, the community. And 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:26.640 I don't want to say that we've created because we 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.200 haven't created the community that you guys have created yourself. 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:31.360 Just on the back of the podcast the fa like 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:33.720 we've literally done nothing. We just gave you guys a 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:36.000 space to do it, and you are all, every single 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.280 one of you. Every day I say to Laura, I 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:40.040 just can't believe how positive this group is. I can't 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:42.600 believe how supportive this group is. It is so amazing, 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:44.240 and I know there are so many other groups out 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.440 there that haven't been as lucky or haven't had as 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.000 much of a supportive group. But you guys just fucking 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:52.560 the best people, and we're so stoked and you should 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:54.920 all be so stoked what you've done this time and 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:56.600 in the past, and I'm sure we're going to do 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:59.000 in the future again. I'm just I'm so grateful for 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:00.920 you guys. And that's like, I go on forever. I'm 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:04.200 gonna stop. But I was crying. I was really upset, 0:08:04.240 --> 0:08:05.800 I was really happy. There are a lot of emotions, 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:09.119 and I'm just super proud of everything. You're gonna cry again. 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:11.200 I just want to say one more thing. I'm also 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:15.320 so tired. I'm probably like and I got my period. 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:18.680 And I did speak to Jamie today and she said 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:20.840 that Dennis was at home. He was packing and he 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.640 was supposed to move out on Monday, but because he 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:25.960 didn't have any help or any support, Like he's eighty, 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.160 the guy can't pack boxes and move him down the stairs. 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.920 I know how hard. I'll just called you, bro, Well, 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:33.640 who am I I'm so tired. I'm like bro, I 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:36.720 today like I'm a young, healthy woman and it is 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:40.600 really hard. It is exhausting. Dennis cannot pack a house 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:43.240 up on his own. He's eighty, totally and trying to 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:45.440 do that on your own without any support is just 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:49.480 such an insurmountable task. And so I spoke to Jamie 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:51.559 today and she said she called Dennis and was like, 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:54.480 whatever you're doing, stop doing it. He was like, I'm packing. 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.800 She was like, stop packing and come down to the agency. 0:08:57.200 --> 0:08:59.000 And she told him at that point in time how 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:01.319 much money they had raised, and like, like we said, 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:03.880 this is truly life changing stuff and we're just so 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:06.800 proud of the community of you guys. You guys aren't 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:08.320 a part of the discussion group. This is the stuff 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.400 you're missing out on. But go on there and join it. 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:14.080 There is a photo of Dennis when Jamie told him 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.360 how much money was raised and that he was going 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:20.080 to be okay. And if that photo doesn't bring tears 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:22.160 to your eyes and make you want to burst with happiness, 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:25.240 I don't know what will. He is just ecstatic. He 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:28.719 bless his soul. When Jamie said to him, look, I'm 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:30.199 gonna try and get some money together for you. We're 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:31.880 gonna you know, we're gonna sort you out. I'm gonna 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:33.959 raise some money. He thought it was just gonna be 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:37.120 a local sausage sizzle. He had no idea. He thought 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:38.480 he was gonna make like a hundred bucks from a 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.880 sash dicissors, so he did know that power of life 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:44.600 that my whole body. I'm just like, fuck, yes, you 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:46.800 guys are such legends. Anyway, I can talk about this 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:48.959 for a long time, So let's move it along. Let's 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:52.800 get into question number one. Hi, ladies, my boyfriend and 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:55.360 I are in our mid twenties and we have been 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:58.880 dating for eighteen months. Recently, we've been experimenting with toys 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:01.120 in the bedroom and he has been using things like 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:04.880 butt plugs and stimulators. Yesterday, he asked me if we 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.080 could get a dildo and if we could use it 0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:10.800 on him. He plans to also use this by himself. 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:14.120 My anxiety has taken over my brain and I'm worried 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:16.720 that if he wants to use these things, then maybe 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:19.559 he might be gay. What if he enjoys them more 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:22.640 than he enjoys sex with me. I know I'm being silly, 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:24.960 but I don't know how to get that thought out 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.679 of my mind. I told him I was nervous about 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:30.080 the new ones, but I didn't say why I was nervous. 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:32.440 I just said that new things make me nervous, and 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:35.840 he took it relatively well, then reminded me that introducing 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.040 toys was my idea in the first place. Am I 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:44.040 being completely unreasonable and worrying for nothing? Help? Yes? Yes 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:48.240 you are, Yes you are. And also like I read 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.000 this and I was a bit in shock. Just because 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:55.480 a guy enjoys some sort of penetration, whether it is 0:10:55.679 --> 0:11:00.560 a finger, a dildo, whatever else, has nothing thing to 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:02.880 do with his sexuality. No men have a g spot 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:04.959 up there. Some men just like it does not mean 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:08.160 that they are gay. If they form deep connections for 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:12.439 a male and identify as gay, that makes them gay. 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.240 But just because your boyfriend enjoys a deal to up 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:18.240 his butthole, the thought that that is all that it 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:21.840 constitutes to make someone gay is not only wildly inaccurate, 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:24.640 it's also pretty offensive. Having said that, also, you just 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:26.760 need to have a conversation with him if you actually, 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:29.560 I mean you introduce these toys so he's reminded you 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.840 of that. That is absolutely fine. I think it's brilliant. 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:34.760 If you feel uncomfortable with it, tell him say I 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.400 would want to use it on you first, Like, let's 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:38.520 do this as a couple instead of him going away 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.400 and using it on his own. I probably wouldn't want 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.800 my partner to do that either. I want to say, well, 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:44.760 I just think at the start, if you've introduced a 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:47.440 new toy because you were trying to spice up your 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.240 sex life together, then you do it together. It's not 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:52.360 spicing up her sex life to know that he's going 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:54.480 to do it on his own. But also, like I mean, 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:56.440 he can do whatever the fuck he wants to on 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:57.960 his own. If he wants to stick a dildo on 0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.840 his ass, go for it. He doesn't need her permission 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:01.680 to do that. Of course he doesn't, But that's not 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:05.160 the question here. The question is, she says, I feel uncomfortable. 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:07.520 What do I do? So first of all, you say, hey, 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.040 let's use this together. You can't tell him not to 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.319 use it. He's a man that can do whatever he wants. 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:15.000 But I think you could introduce it into your sex 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:19.120 life together, have a conversation, have a playful play and 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:20.520 if he wants to go and use on his own, 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.120 because that is how he masturbates and that is how 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:27.760 he seeks pleasure, that's so okay totally. I just guess 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:29.600 I think it's a hard one because I don't I 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:33.200 almost think Normally we say, go communicate, talk about your feelings. 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.360 I almost think in this one, you don't need to 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:39.280 communicate that this is your reservation because the reservation is 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.600 completely unfounded. Like if your reservation about him using a 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.360 dialdo is that you're worried that he's gay, like that 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:49.080 doesn't need to be communicated. Maybe you may choose to 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:52.240 communicate that he may also be really offended that that's 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.720 where your mind has gone to. Have you ever had 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.720 a guy ask you to peg them? Never? No, once 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:02.560 in my existence. Yeah, I've never done it, but I've 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:06.200 had several guys ask me to wear a strap on 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.320 and peg them. Well, there you go. It's obviously very common. 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.800 I think it's more common than what we give it 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:12.960 credit for. Even guys like a finger in the ask 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:15.800 if he wants to use a dildo, it's not going 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:18.040 to affect you, like it doesn't change, and even if 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.080 he wants to use it on your own, I think 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:21.800 it would be a very different story if you were 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.480 to turn around and you were to say, oh, I've 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:25.439 bought this sex toy for myself, and your partner was 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:26.920 to say, I don't want you to use that when 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:30.160 I'm not around it's kind of like very self limiting, 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.040 like why can't you use a sex toy when your 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.160 partner's not around? Like, you are in charge of your 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.319 own sexuality. You're in charge of your own sexual experiences 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:40.599 as well, so long as it's not affecting your relationships, 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.360 so long as you're still having a sexy health life 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.280 when you're together, you're entitled to masturbate and whatever you 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:48.160 need to do to get off. Fine. Yeah, the only 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:49.760 thing I'm going to disagree with you on, Laura is 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.520 I'm still and always will be an advocate for communication. 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.400 I still think that you are absolutely entitled to have 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:56.520 this conversation with him. And when I say this conversation, 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:00.199 I don't mean you don't conversay to him, Oh you 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:01.880 want to use this on your owner you're gay. I 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.200 just mean if you're uncomfortable with something or you're curious 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:07.560 about something, you just ask your partner. You say, how 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:08.840 come you want to do that on your own? Don't 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:10.160 you want to do that with me? Like that's a 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:13.400 simple question to me. That shouldn't be divisive and that 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:16.120 shouldn't be giving you anxiety to have that conversation. Like 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:17.880 if you are close enough that you're putting butt plugs 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.000 with your partner. You're close enough to say, hey, what 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.360 is it about that that you want to do on 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:24.440 your own and not with me? But just be understanding 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.880 and open to his response, that's all. But I mean 0:14:26.920 --> 0:14:29.359 his response is just going to be it feels good. 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:32.680 The other thing is every relationship and every person is different. 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:35.400 There are plenty of people that don't like their partners 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.960 watching porn, that feel uncomfortable with their partners masturbating without 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:40.800 them because they think, why don't you want to have 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:44.080 sex with me? Everybody's relationship is different. I couldn't care 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.400 less if my partner watch porn for me personally, doesn't 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:49.600 bother me. For other people that I know, they don't 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:51.440 like it when their partner watches porn, they feel like 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:55.120 it's like this borderline in appropriateness. Okay, I feel like 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:57.760 porn is a slightly different thing. I can understand why 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.480 porn is polarizing for some people because it's in reducing 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:04.960 another person into your sexual relationship. How would you feel 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:08.280 if a boyfriend said to you, you're not allowed to 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.440 masturbate without me, Like, what would you do? I would 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.600 not be okay with somebody's face exactly right. I mean, 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:16.960 you can't, and that's not what she's saying. She doesn't 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:18.600 want to say to him you can't do it. She 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:20.440 just wants to say, I feel uncomfortable with it. What 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:23.240 do I do? So all, I just think every situation 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:26.280 in the whole world, you just communicate it. You just 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:28.520 ask him, you talk about it. You might not get 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:31.200 the answer you want, he's going to go and still masturbate, 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:34.080 but at least you know you've said your feelings, you've 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:36.880 gotten an answer, maybe you understand more, and maybe his 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.240 explanation is going to make you feel a little bit 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.720 more comfortable. I agree with you that you can communicate 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:45.000 and should communicate about everything in your relationship. But I 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:49.360 just so strongly come back to this thing that, like, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.360 this issue has nothing to do with her partner. It 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.040 has to do with her perception around sexuality and what 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:58.240 constitutes being gay. And I think that there is like, 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:00.920 and I don't want to say it's homer phobic, because 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:02.800 I don't want to like lash out at somebody I 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:05.440 don't know, but I think that there is some homophobia 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:07.760 in the fear that just because a guy wants to 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.760 have something in his butthole, it must make him gay, 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:14.440 and I just don't like that that's where her mind 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:18.200 has gone, because obviously he's in a very committed relationship. 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.320 He just enjoys experimenting in the bedroom and shouldn't feel 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.000 shame or guilt around that either. And that's why I 0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:26.920 feel passionately about, like, be careful how you bring this 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.160 up in your conversation, because it could come out as 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:33.320 an accusation rather than a conversation. All right, moving on, 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.760 all that was like very I feel like that one 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.560 was like, I mean, we agree's divisive that one? Do 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:42.240 we think it's divisive? Though? Device how do you think? Like, 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:43.800 fuck it, do what you want and I take it 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:46.560 in your ass go there and I think, cool, he 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.840 can do that. Have the conversation because you feel anxious 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:51.280 about it, Okay, But what happens, this is my question, 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:54.720 is what happens if she says I don't want you 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:56.960 to do that. I don't want you to pleasure yourself 0:16:57.000 --> 0:17:00.480 without me. What is he supposed to do? I'm always 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:02.600 going to masturbate without you. That's a conversation they need 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:05.040 to have. That's a conversation between them, and then they 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:07.879 might have it out but that's not our that's not 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:14.480 our problem. Tell us how it goes, Tell how it goes. 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:16.680 But I bet you're gonna have some great butt play. Yes, 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:18.679 Oh my god, enjoy I lean into it. Had the 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:23.040 time of your life girlfriend? All right? Question number two. 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:25.040 So this one came in the other week, and I 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:26.720 think this is an interesting one, but I'm going to 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:29.119 paraphrase it. Hi, guys, I've been broken up with my 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:31.879 ex boyfriend now for around six months. It was a 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:35.440 pretty toxic relationship and it really took me a long 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:37.439 time to get over it. I'm not even sure if 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:41.399 I'm completely over it yet, to be honest. Anyway, fast forward, 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:44.120 I just found out that whilst we were dating, he 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:46.119 was cheating on me, and he'd been cheating on me 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:48.399 with a girl for a couple of months. Should I 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:51.040 contact him? Should I tell him that I know? I 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.040 feel so angry that I didn't know about this when 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:55.560 we were dating, because it explains a lot. Should I 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:59.520 reach out to him now? Dan? Dun dun no? No. 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:05.840 I mean that's a funny statement. I feel so angry 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:07.440 that I didn't know when we're dating. If you knew 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.680 when you were dating, you'd probably the relationship would have 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:11.840 ended that anyway, I would hope. Well, I think that's 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:15.120 probably the point, right. It's feeling lied to, and you know, breakups, 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:18.680 that's what chain is. But yeah, but I bet I'm 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.639 coming home and be like, I babe, you no. But 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:24.239 I guess, like when you're going through a breakup, and like, 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:28.000 there's obviously multiple reasons why their relationship breaks down if 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:30.920 someone's not being transparent, and part of the relationship breakdown 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.639 is actually that they're cheated, Like they were cheating, So 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.080 all the other excuses that they maybe had or that 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:38.400