1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,720 Speaker 1: We know that there is certainly a huge focus at 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: the moment on domestic violence here in the Northern Territory, 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 1: and so there should be after the coronial inquest was 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: those recommendations handed down last week. But we also know 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: that the No More crew, Charlie King, as you know, 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: founded No More and he and his team do a 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 1: phenomenal job but really saying no more to domestic violence 8 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: and joining us here in the studio right now as 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 1: Catholic NTS No More team leader Rob Cross, Good morning 10 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: to you're old okaty. 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: Good to be there. 12 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, great to have you in the studio now. You 13 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: guys have had quite a bit going on over the 14 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: last week or so. I understand. Last night there was 15 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,639 Speaker 1: actually an event held. It was a keynote address. Tell 16 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: us a little bit about it. 17 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, So it was a couple from New Zealand. The 18 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 2: male Matt Brown is some on background and back in 19 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 2: about sort of mid year sometime we were on a 20 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 2: webinar with them. They dialed in from New Zealand to 21 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 2: talk about the organization they set up about a decade 22 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,319 Speaker 2: ago and we reached out to the part of an 23 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 2: Australian tour which they're just about to wrap up and 24 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 2: they said, look, we really got everything locked away for 25 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 2: the month of November in Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria. 26 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 2: We wrote back with the domestic violence statistics for the 27 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: MT and within the day they had arranged to slip 28 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 2: it into the Northern Territory, which is absolutely fantastic. Matt's background, 29 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:32,039 Speaker 2: sadly is one of sexual abuse, domestic violence in his 30 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 2: family and his stories to tell, but he tells them publicly. 31 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 2: So his first memory of Christmas is his father beating 32 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 2: his mother with a Christmas tree. My vintage you might 33 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 2: remember this film as well, being quite a bit younger 34 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 2: than me, but that horrible New Zealand film Once Were Warriors, 35 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 2: which was set in the Mari culture of gangs and 36 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 2: the domestic violence we saw in that film, which I 37 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 2: still can't watch to this day. It pops up on 38 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 2: one of the digital channels, so Matt and his siblings 39 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 2: at the age of ten, would line the floor of 40 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 2: their house. Had nothing on his father and what he'd 41 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 2: done to his family, so they have. Once Matt had 42 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 2: got through his teenage years, he set up a barbershop 43 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,639 Speaker 2: and through that barbershop he spoke to a lot of gangsters, 44 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 2: a lot of really tough mary Man and all walks 45 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 2: of life really in New Zealand, and his message to 46 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 2: them was you've got to try and heal. So he 47 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 2: could provide a support. But the idea of the she 48 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 2: is not your rehab, which he's done a Ted talk on, 49 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 2: he's written a book, is that you might have a 50 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 2: partner in life and they might be a great support 51 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 2: to you, but you can't rely on that. You've got 52 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 2: to do your own healing find the support to do that. 53 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 2: And he talks about when you're in the barber chair 54 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 2: about dropping the mask, expressing yourself, look back on your 55 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 2: life and try and work through what's happened to you. 56 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,639 Speaker 2: Seek that support to rebuild, make different decisions and try 57 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 2: and do your own healings. So it was really powerful. 58 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,120 Speaker 2: We had a workshop yesterday for about forty people in 59 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 2: the domestic violence sector which has went for about four 60 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 2: hours and that was quite emotional. They've got us to 61 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 2: do some activities like standing half a meter from a 62 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 2: mirror and saying what you liked about yourself. There was 63 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 2: a little bit of a card game with some really 64 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 2: probing questions that your setups at one of your other 65 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,399 Speaker 2: members from the workshop and asked, and there are quite 66 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 2: a few tears in that workshop, but it's really emotional. 67 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 2: And then last night's keynote went for about an hour 68 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 2: and a half and some of the stories he tells 69 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 2: about rehabilitating New Zealand men, and in fact, the government 70 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 2: has reached out to him and said, what do you 71 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 2: do Like We've got all these programs, which is not 72 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 2: any cut through at all. What you're doing is working. 73 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: It's working. Do you reckon it's because it's it is 74 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: also sort of blokes having a discussion with each other 75 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: about it. 76 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 2: Definitely, it's very much that we need more men in 77 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 2: the space to come and support men and to call 78 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 2: out poor behavior. But lots of these people, it's certainly 79 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: not excusing it, but a lot of these people have 80 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 2: had tremendous trauma. I come from a very fortunate background 81 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 2: of love parents, so I guess I yeah, sometimes I 82 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 2: feel a bit of a fraud in the work. But 83 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 2: we need more people with compassion, with empathy who do 84 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 2: have the ability to reach out and find those supports. 85 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 2: So definitely need more men in the space. A very 86 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 2: good question last night was along those lines from the 87 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 2: audience about someone who hadn't lived it, because I think 88 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 2: people do live it can relate a bit more easily. 89 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 2: So that's where Matt really does his work so well, 90 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 2: because he's got that lived experience. But if you can 91 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 2: make a connection with someone, you can still support them. 92 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was having this discussion with you or fair 93 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: And I've said it before on ere. You know, I 94 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: was raised in a family that is quite male dominated. 95 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: You know that it was my dad who predominantly raised us. 96 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 1: One was very busy woman saw any of that kind 97 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 1: of violent behavior in my home. So as I've grown 98 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: older and certainly even in this current job and when 99 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: I worked for the Northern Territory Police, you know, it 100 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 1: was almost a shock to me that women can be 101 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 1: treated in that way, or that even you know, that 102 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 1: even women can be assaulting their partner. You know, it's 103 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: a real shock to me because it's just not something 104 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,359 Speaker 1: that I've ever seen. And now as I report on 105 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: these rates of domestic violence, it's not only shocking, but 106 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 1: like it makes me feel really so heartbroken because I 107 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: think as a child, you know, your children deserve to 108 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: grow up in a home where they feel safe. 109 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 2: That's absolutely right, and the effect on these kids we 110 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 2: see in later life the mental health issues they have, 111 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 2: they may well turn out to be perpetrators themselves just 112 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 2: because what they've been witnessing. So a lot of work 113 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 2: now is being done in a youth space. We've got 114 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 2: to heal the people that are committing these crimes now. 115 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 2: And it was interesting to see off the back of 116 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 2: the thirty five recommendations that the coroner handed down after 117 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,880 Speaker 2: the deaths of those four average of women that there 118 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 2: are programs going to be proposed, more programs proposed for 119 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 2: prisons that the prisoners can work through, but certainly when 120 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 2: need to do a lot more primary prevention as well 121 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 2: to stop it before it starts. 122 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 1: Now, talk me through. I know on Friday, there's going 123 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: to be the No More Annual walk happening at Casharina. 124 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 1: There's always a massive turnout for that, isn't there. 125 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, We've got always really good support from across the 126 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 2: community and people there, so we have it. We walk 127 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 2: from outside Peter Alexander the Christmas Tree there. We'll gather 128 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 2: about quarter to twelve. The walk starts at midday through 129 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 2: the shopping center for about ten or fifteen minutes or so. 130 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 2: We gather in the food court. We've got a stage 131 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 2: set up there, we've got a musician, and we have 132 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 2: a panel of three or four speakers, and again we've 133 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 2: got a couple of people who have had lived experience. 134 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 2: We've got a young man who's got his own program 135 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 2: around helping youth and going through mental health and other 136 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 2: aspects of social emotional well being. And yes, it's always 137 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 2: a really powerful gathering because the other thing we know 138 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 2: that police statistics sadly tell us that domestic violence rates 139 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 2: do spike at Christmas time. So it's another strong message 140 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 2: that while we're trying to solve domestic violence across the year, 141 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 2: the rates do go up over Christmas. 142 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: All yeah, isn't that a sad fact? You know, it's 143 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: a terrible fact that that happens. Rob If people are 144 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 1: keen to come along to that No More walk, where 145 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 1: do they need to be outside, Peter Alexander? What time? 146 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 2: So if they could be there, gather around quarter to 147 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 2: twelve on Friday. The march or the walk starts at midday. 148 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 2: Our No More Facebook page and Instagram has got lots 149 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 2: of details as well around what will be involved. 150 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: Good stuff, well Catholic care, NTEAM No More team leader 151 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: Rob Cross, Thank you so very much for your time 152 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: this morning. Also Women's Premier League coach for Warritas, how 153 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: they going this season? 154 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 2: Look we had our first win on the weekend. Excellent, 155 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 2: good things to come. 156 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: Oh good stuff. Good on you, Rob, Thank you, thanks 157 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: so much for your time this morning.