Speaker 1: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional owners on which this
Speaker 1: episode is being recorded, the combo marry people. We pay
Speaker 1: our respects to elders past, present and emerging and extend
Speaker 1: that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.
Speaker 1: Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, and this is the
Speaker 1: Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is the podcast where which
Speaker 1: have mindset, self development and becoming your higher self mix
Speaker 1: soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the scenes
Speaker 1: of my life running two businesses and being among Think
Speaker 1: of us as the perfect combo of brunch with your
Speaker 1: besties mixed with self development. No matter where you are
Speaker 1: in your journey, We're here to help you be curious,
Speaker 1: pull yourself out, and embrace radical self awareness.
Speaker 2: If you're ready to get into.
Speaker 1: The driver's seat of your own life and stop letting
Speaker 1: life past you by, then you're in the right place.
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the ron C Potty. On
Speaker 1: today's episode, we are unpacking the concept of being too much,
Speaker 1: what it actually means about you, about the person saying it,
Speaker 1: and how you can move forward. We also chat about
Speaker 1: do you actually need to change your behavior or is
Speaker 1: this something you can brush off. So if you've ever
Speaker 1: been told that you're too much of anything, too much,
Speaker 1: too excited, too loud, too dramatic, too selfish, then you're
Speaker 1: gonna love this episode. I also, I do a bit
Speaker 1: of a spin because I think the people who click
Speaker 1: on this episode and then listen, you're probably not going
Speaker 1: to expect what I say. So true, but it's a goodie.
Speaker 1: Keep listening. But before we get into the episode of tea,
Speaker 1: I just want to remind the ron C community. Our
Speaker 1: limited edition Life Happens for Me journaling boxes launch tomorrow
Speaker 1: at five pm. Set your alarms if you're listening in
Speaker 1: real time? Yeah, which is the nineteenth?
Speaker 2: Is it nineteenth?
Speaker 1: The nineteenth of April? Tomorrow, the nineteenth of April, five pm.
Speaker 1: They are limited edition. They include our beautiful journal, our
Speaker 1: beautiful Life Happens for Me glass that's secure little pink
Speaker 1: bubble mug that you've seen around I've been showing you guys.
Speaker 1: It includes a beautiful butterfly diffuser, a signature RNC sent
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's incredible. It's grounding but also activating.
Speaker 2: So guys, set your alarm.
Speaker 1: It's limited edition, and ten dollars from every single box
Speaker 1: does go to Pink Elephants Support Network, who support women
Speaker 1: going through early miscarriages. Such a beautiful charity to partner
Speaker 1: with on this and we are so proud and yeah,
Speaker 1: so we're so excited. Georgie, what's your weekly recommendation? Well, okay,
Speaker 1: so how do I explain this? Well, I'm dabbling with
Speaker 1: the idea. I'm not fully there, but I was telling
Speaker 1: the girls. We had a team lunch a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago, and I was telling the girls that I've
Speaker 1: really been playing with this idea to fully stop consuming
Speaker 1: content that scares me.
Speaker 2: So just in the way of I just.
Speaker 1: Noticed how much, you know, social media, Netflix was consuming
Speaker 1: my time.
Speaker 2: And I don't think I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1: Cold turkey, but I'm just, I guess taking it up
Speaker 1: a notch with how intentional I'm being. No Netflix during
Speaker 1: the week. I can watch Netflix on the weekend with
Speaker 1: Tim as like a me and him thing, But no
Speaker 1: Netflix during the week unless it's a documentary.
Speaker 2: That's the rule. You would to shut your mouth.
Speaker 1: You guys can see my face. His mouth's open so wide.
Speaker 1: He shocked Wow and off social media media by seven
Speaker 1: seven point thirty, even though that's more because Ivy goes
Speaker 1: to bed at six. We have dinner and then I
Speaker 1: check my social media. But then once I get in bed,
Speaker 1: it's like off social media. Tim's actually deleted all his
Speaker 1: social media apps. I know he's currently going through a
Speaker 1: bit of a self development journey, and he's like, I
Speaker 1: love that, I just need to delete them because he
Speaker 1: just finds he wastes so much shine on them. So
Speaker 1: just more this idea of being so intentionable. And as
Speaker 1: you guys know, I do have a coach at the moment,
Speaker 1: and it's it's a one on one vibe. But also
Speaker 1: as a byproductor of that, I get a lot of
Speaker 1: you know, her course content. And so what I'm doing
Speaker 1: is like just like immersing myself completely in when I'm
Speaker 1: not working, It's like I'm doing self development, or I'm
Speaker 1: reading a book, or I'm in the sauna. I'm not scrolling,
Speaker 1: I'm not just watching random things to like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm just being very intentional. Yeah, and so I will
Speaker 1: update this is a new thing. But I'm also just
Speaker 1: like I'm speaking it because it also gives me a
Speaker 1: bit of an accountability of And I said to the girls,
Speaker 1: I wonder what could shift and change if I stuck
Speaker 1: to this. So that's all I'm saying. Who knows, I
Speaker 1: love that. I'm just being very honest with you. So
Speaker 1: my weekly recommendation is, can you check in maybe do
Speaker 1: a bit of an audit of where you're currently not
Speaker 1: being intentional with what you consume? I love that. What's
Speaker 1: your weekly good solid watch?
Speaker 2: Your Netflix recommendation? A tear? I have two.
Speaker 1: One recommendation is Netflix. One is not because I felt
Speaker 1: like I needed to bring something else to the table.
Speaker 1: So my first recommendation, which is Netflix, is the Night
Speaker 1: Agent series.
Speaker 2: I started watching this.
Speaker 1: You didn't like it, no, when it first came out
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, I just thought it
Speaker 1: was really bored.
Speaker 2: Oh I loved it.
Speaker 1: I'm in polar opposite. It's like the first TV series
Speaker 1: I've watched in such a long time that I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch this an episode at a time over
Speaker 1: a few days because I needed to give my attention
Speaker 1: to it, Like I couldn't cook and watch.
Speaker 2: Yeah kind of thing.
Speaker 1: I just I'm not vibe in the whole like White House.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I love them. I love those. If you've
Speaker 1: like if you like White House, down or like Olympus's Fallen,
Speaker 1: those kind of movies.
Speaker 2: I like scandals. I didn't like Scandal.
Speaker 1: Okay, what'll she next? My second recommendation is an episode
Speaker 1: of the Life on Cut podcast that I listened to.
Speaker 1: It's called Matthew Hussey does Not Give a F Word
Speaker 1: about Your Relationship, and it's an interview with a man
Speaker 1: named Matthew Hussey, and he's like a very very well
Speaker 1: known relationship expert, and I just loved hearing his perspective
Speaker 1: on stuff. I'd seen videos of him for years, like
Speaker 1: he's been on YouTube for years. If you look at
Speaker 1: his face, you'll probably know him. And what I really
Speaker 1: loved that they spoke about was the concept of needing
Speaker 1: to be your whole self fixed and ready for a
Speaker 1: relationship before you get into one, and how he doesn't.
Speaker 2: Agree with that.
Speaker 1: So it's a really, really great interview and I'd highly
Speaker 1: recommend that to pretty much everyone. I love that.
Speaker 2: That's actually so interesting.
Speaker 1: I was reading a quote.
Speaker 2: I will literally take.
Speaker 1: A photo it because Kay I thought of this exact thing,
Speaker 1: and it was kind of this quote about yeah, not
Speaker 1: agreeing that you know how it's like to love some
Speaker 1: I've got it. It's like to love someone how to
Speaker 1: love yourself first before someone can love you. Yes, and
Speaker 1: it was saying, we don't agree with that quote because
Speaker 1: you need someone to show like you need to be
Speaker 1: shown how to love first. Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is that him? And we think about that.
Speaker 1: Maybe that is from him because he he was sort
Speaker 1: of along this a similar line. But he also like
Speaker 1: brought up that sometimes you'll have insecurities, but that'll be
Speaker 1: someone's favorite thing. Their favorite thing about you is the
Speaker 1: thing you're insecure about, and they will show you like
Speaker 1: a different way to love yourself almost. Yeah, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so cool.
Speaker 1: Also about how in relationships it's not necessarily about doing
Speaker 1: everything together, but it's about supporting your partner in whatever
Speaker 1: they want to do. And he spoke about how he
Speaker 1: has some ritual he does in the morning that his
Speaker 1: partner would never do, but he does it like in
Speaker 1: a different room in the house and one time he
Speaker 1: woke up and she'd set up the room perfectly for
Speaker 1: him to do it, and it just meant so much
Speaker 1: to him that even though she didn't do it, she
Speaker 1: respected that he did. But yeah, really get an interviews.
Speaker 1: I'm pulling the most random bits from it. It probably not
Speaker 1: being too convinced.
Speaker 2: No, we love it. Yeah, but I loved it.
Speaker 1: I highly recommend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into the episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, let's bloody get straight into it.
Speaker 1: So today we're talking of the concept of being too much.
Speaker 2: I love this so much.
Speaker 1: Why because I've had this said to me so many
Speaker 1: times throughout my life, and I feel like most listeners
Speaker 1: would too, one hundred percent. If you're an R and
Speaker 1: C listener, you've probably been told you too much. I like,
Speaker 1: and you know this can be you have been told
Speaker 1: you're too much like in regards to you're too energetically,
Speaker 1: you're too like hyped up, you're too emotional, you're too loud,
Speaker 1: you're too unpredictable, you're too difficult.
Speaker 2: I was the difficult one.
Speaker 1: I was, And I also like, you're too spicy or
Speaker 1: too direct, too dramatic, Oh, so dramatic. It was like,
Speaker 1: my whole childhood is mean getting called dramatic and difficult,
Speaker 1: and also me getting called like selfish. You know, I
Speaker 1: felt like as a child, I held my boundaries really strong,
Speaker 1: and so like I was called like, oh, you're being selfish,
Speaker 1: you're not thinking about the others, but I'm like, no, no.
Speaker 2: I just know my boundaries. Wow, yeah, don't you think
Speaker 2: I was?
Speaker 1: No? I agree in like that definition, but I was
Speaker 1: like a doormat as a kid and through high school. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no boundaries none, a tr I know, But I know
Speaker 1: better now. Yeah, good, I do know better now. And
Speaker 1: like one thing that someone said to me that stuck
Speaker 1: with me. They're like people are dormats and dinosaurs, and
Speaker 1: then then it's like a good in between when it
Speaker 1: comes to like holding your boundaries. But some people who
Speaker 1: are dormats all the time, you'll come out and be
Speaker 1: a dinosaur about the most random thing. And that would
Speaker 1: happen to me, Like I'd have little random almost explosions,
Speaker 1: super super silly things. Yeah, And I couldn't understand why
Speaker 1: until I actually learned that, like, oh, it's because I'm
Speaker 1: letting people push me over for so long and then
Speaker 1: I explode and it balances, but I could just maintain
Speaker 1: balance instead. That self awareness is amazing that you can
Speaker 1: even register that of like I'm not strong enough my boundaries.
Speaker 1: That it's like I let it get to a limit
Speaker 1: and then there's this limit and then I explode rather
Speaker 1: than bringing the boundary back here and it's like this
Speaker 1: actually just gets to be it and.
Speaker 2: Then it doesn't have to come out in a toxic way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I used to do that too, like it
Speaker 1: would like build and build and build, and then it
Speaker 1: would come out in this like toxic way because they
Speaker 1: didn't know how to express myself.
Speaker 2: Yes, but going back to it, so I have an
Speaker 2: interesting take on this.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is a conversation we probably had
Speaker 1: on this podcast of being called too much, too much
Speaker 1: of whatever, and I feel like so many people can
Speaker 1: resonate with it, and I think there's two parts to this,
Speaker 1: so I want to speak to both. Yeah, so the
Speaker 1: first part is very much what you probably thought this
Speaker 1: episode was going to be about, where when someone's calling
Speaker 1: you too much, it's very much their responsibility of what
Speaker 1: they define and what's a thing for them, rather than like, actually,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you kind of thing. There is, though,
Speaker 1: a second part to this conversation where I feel like
Speaker 1: we haven't had this on the podcast, and I want
Speaker 1: to unpack this a little bit today of realizing that
Speaker 1: you also have a responsibility of if you're getting if
Speaker 1: you're feeling the feelings of shame because you feel too much,
Speaker 1: or guilt because you feel too much in whatever angle,
Speaker 1: or getting the feelings of your upset that someone called
Speaker 1: you too much, of taking some responsibility in regards to
Speaker 1: not letting outside opinions sway you.
Speaker 2: Yes, so true, don't you think?
Speaker 1: It's kind of a two part And I think sometimes
Speaker 1: usually the conversation, especially I've been guilty of this of
Speaker 1: like we're like, oh, well, the other person's just they
Speaker 1: can't handle you know, even the quotes of like you know,
Speaker 1: if you think I'm too much, you don't get me
Speaker 1: at my or if you can't handle me at my worst,
Speaker 1: you don't deserve me at my bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But the other one I was thinking of where it was.
Speaker 1: I saw it on TikTok and it was if you
Speaker 1: say I'm too much, go and find less. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: like I think, like like I like, I do agree
Speaker 1: with it, but it's like also, I think a big
Speaker 1: part of self development too is realizing where the other
Speaker 1: person has responsibility. But also we're realizing you can have
Speaker 1: responsibility and clean some stuff up. Because, for example, if
Speaker 1: you clicked into this episode that I'm you know, a
Speaker 1: tea is probably gonna call it something about being too much.
Speaker 1: It's because that provokes you, It upsets you, it triggers you.
Speaker 1: So you need to look into that trigger. Because truly,
Speaker 1: if if you were so clear on who you are,
Speaker 1: and you were so clear on like who you are
Speaker 1: at your heart and what you bring to the table,
Speaker 1: and that wasn't rocked, you wouldn't even be.
Speaker 2: Worried about this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you wouldn't be clicking into an episode like this
Speaker 1: because you're like, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's why I just I.
Speaker 1: Think we need to speak on kind of the both
Speaker 1: sides of like, you know, taking responsibility for yourself and
Speaker 1: then also realizing how much this is a representation of
Speaker 1: what the other person is going through. Yeah, so true.
Speaker 1: I actually have a cool quote that I wrote when
Speaker 1: I was getting my brows done.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I loved that.
Speaker 1: I was not that I wrote, but it's like I
Speaker 1: had this thought on my head and I was like,
Speaker 1: I've got to write this down before I forget. So
Speaker 1: what I want to bring to this episode is like
Speaker 1: realizing that it doesn't matter externally what is seen, but
Speaker 1: it matters internally how you feel.
Speaker 2: Let that simmer, Let that sink in.
Speaker 1: So, for example, if someone telling you you're too much
Speaker 1: upsets you, dysregulates you, triggers you. It's because your identity
Speaker 1: of yourself you half believe them. Otherwise, why would it
Speaker 1: upset you?
Speaker 2: Usually because you know who you are. Yeah, so that's
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I think there's two parts to this conversation, which is
Speaker 1: really cool because it's not just people like, of course
Speaker 1: there are just like jerks out there, there's people who
Speaker 1: are just like they're just their asshole, stupid assets. But
Speaker 1: also realizing when you know people are adding you and
Speaker 1: it's triggering you of like, oh, whereas actually my identity
Speaker 1: of self not solid here, I have a question.
Speaker 2: Talk to me.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you've worked through the too much wound?
Speaker 2: I do? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel like I wasn't like really bad for you
Speaker 1: at any point huge in my early twenties, and I
Speaker 1: it was a I'm too much, I need to conform
Speaker 1: or I'm too much. Let me have a song and
Speaker 1: dance about it, like let me fucking tell you how
Speaker 1: you thinking I'm too much is all about you, and
Speaker 1: like let's make it dramatic. Oh my god, because truly
Speaker 1: it triggered me. Yeah, and I think like I think
Speaker 1: that's also fine. I think it's so normal.
Speaker 2: We're all on our journey.
Speaker 1: But that's I do feel like I have kind of
Speaker 1: transcended this wound, and that's kind of what I want
Speaker 1: to bring into it. If it does trigger you, I
Speaker 1: think you need to do some identity work around how
Speaker 1: you see yourself and getting solid in how you see yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think the biggest part here is realizing that
Speaker 1: you know someone's too much is another person's Holy shit,
Speaker 1: she's magnetic, you know, Like so many people would see
Speaker 1: my content and think, fuck, she is way too much,
Speaker 1: and then the exact same piece of content someone else
Speaker 1: is like, fuck, she's inspiring.
Speaker 2: She just expanded me.
Speaker 1: So do you see how like I can be Like
Speaker 1: if someone thinks I'm too much, or I'm too emotional,
Speaker 1: I'm too dramatic, or a big thing I'm actually.
Speaker 2: Leaning into right now, I can be why I am.
Speaker 1: I'm so direct, and I think some people can really
Speaker 1: see that as I'm not a heartfelt person, or I'm
Speaker 1: not a caring person, or I'm a mean person or whatever,
Speaker 1: And sometimes that can upset me or just regulate me
Speaker 1: because I am like, oh, but I am a caring person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's something I haven't fully like worked.
Speaker 1: Through and I can fully see that, but it's like
Speaker 1: just kind of figuring out where you feel solid in
Speaker 1: who you are and where it's like, oh, I actually
Speaker 1: i'd want to feel solid in this aspect because I
Speaker 1: truly love how direct I am.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's how I get points across.
Speaker 1: That's how i am quickly, easily and quickly.
Speaker 2: Because I've got no time.
Speaker 1: And also that's what I love. And if someone's talking
Speaker 1: to me and they've just taken fucking twenty minutes to
Speaker 1: get to one point, I'm like, dude, I don't have
Speaker 1: dime in this. And also like stop with the context,
Speaker 1: stop with like the fluff. Yeah, tell me exactly how
Speaker 1: you feel, tell me your deepest, darkest secrets right now.
Speaker 2: And let's just go straight in.
Speaker 1: Do you mean like that's my vibe? Yeah, So that's
Speaker 1: the vibe I give out.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because also I'm trying to attract people. Yeah, like that,
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm like, you know, you can battle
Speaker 1: with those sorts of things. So I think a big
Speaker 1: thing of like if you're told you're too much, and
Speaker 1: it does just regulate you a little bit of being like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's so interesting because I I, you know, my concept
Speaker 1: of self is I'm a confident person. But am I
Speaker 1: actually that confident if that comment upsets me? So true?
Speaker 1: And then figuring out and it's all about reframing, so
Speaker 1: first of all, you know, like going straight into it
Speaker 1: of like not going into shame and guilt that that's
Speaker 1: still upset you or you know, I think also like
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna randomly bring this in. A big thing
Speaker 1: that has helped me is like just not taking things personally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how much does like one comment and you just fucking
Speaker 1: take it to heart and it's like the only thing
Speaker 1: you think of for years, for years, it can be
Speaker 1: for years, and it's like some on set of fleeting comment,
Speaker 1: like the amount of shit that comes out of my
Speaker 1: mouth that probably is just like me talking shit, And it's.
Speaker 2: Not in a like no, I know what you mean.
Speaker 1: It's like I would never want someone told onto that
Speaker 1: hold onto something. And I think that's also a big
Speaker 1: thing too, is like stepping back a little bit and
Speaker 1: being like, oh am I taking this too personally because
Speaker 1: also like how are you gonna get through life? Hard?
Speaker 2: And like I want to live in the vibe of
Speaker 2: life happens for me.
Speaker 1: So it's like, oh, nah, I'm just not gonna take
Speaker 1: that personally because also I know it's such a reflection
Speaker 1: of what that person is going through and they're level
Speaker 1: of emotional intelligence and their level of their self development.
Speaker 1: So true. So I'm like, oh, just not, I'm not
Speaker 1: here for this conversation. Yeah. I had to work through
Speaker 1: the wound quite young. Yeah, from like literally as long
Speaker 1: as I can remember, all through school, my friends, teachers, family, everyone.
Speaker 1: Oh she talks so much. Oh she's so intense. Oh
Speaker 1: she's so dramatic. And then into high school a lot
Speaker 1: like often it was like intense, intimidating, just like non
Speaker 1: stop talking, Like if I try to talk to someone
Speaker 1: about a topic, I'm passionate about it, just like my
Speaker 1: speech never ends. Yeah, and and you know what, it's sorry,
Speaker 1: just quickly interect here. Oh she's so political, Like she's
Speaker 1: so opinionated. I always got the opinionating. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like, what would you rather me.
Speaker 2: Not have opinion? Would you rather me not speak? Because
Speaker 2: that's kind of where you're leading with it, literally.
Speaker 1: And that's what I got told. And even when it
Speaker 1: came to things like I think it must have been
Speaker 1: like fifteen, But this was a comment that I really
Speaker 1: had to work through, which is why I still remember.
Speaker 1: It was when my friends are talking about boys and
Speaker 1: all that sort of stuff, and I was like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: I've never had a boyfriend. And then someone made a
Speaker 1: comment about me being a bit of a handful, and
Speaker 1: then someone else was like, oh, just one, and I
Speaker 1: was like oh, and I'm like, but you know what
Speaker 1: that's like, as in, like I'm a lot to handle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I get it, and then someone okay, yeah.
Speaker 2: But like what the like, I know.
Speaker 1: Was such a random thing to happen, I know, And
Speaker 1: then that obviously stung. But obviously when I worked through that,
Speaker 1: I got to the point of if I'm two fucking handfuls,
Speaker 1: someone will love it, yes, And why would you not
Speaker 1: want so much of a person? I actually, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: quickly say something. So it's really funny because that's the
Speaker 1: comment that I get most in like me and Tim's
Speaker 1: relationship of like he's so easy going, he's so nice
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah, and she so spicy and such
Speaker 1: a handful. Yeah, and but I like reflect them. I'm like,
Speaker 1: if he secretly didn't fucking love it. Do you think
Speaker 1: he'd still.
Speaker 2: Be with me?
Speaker 1: Mean, yeah, it's a choice he's made. He's clearly fucking
Speaker 1: getting off on it. Do you mean like he loves
Speaker 1: that energy? Otherwise he wouldn't be with me exactly?
Speaker 2: And it's like there are.
Speaker 1: People out there that, Yeah, he loves how spicy I am?
Speaker 1: Do you mean like that's and I think anyone that's
Speaker 1: a handful of the quote unquote handful.
Speaker 2: Of course, they're like the best people ever so far.
Speaker 2: Why would you not want to be around them? Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like we don't do boring here.
Speaker 1: No, But also that's such a and let's even reframe
Speaker 1: this conversation of if someone kind of says something that
Speaker 1: you almost thought was a strength of yours and.
Speaker 2: They turn it into a negative.
Speaker 1: Is such a reflection that I still take it as
Speaker 1: a compliment because I'm like, oh, I'm actually probably triggering
Speaker 1: them because I express myself so truly to who I am,
Speaker 1: and they probably aren't at the point where they maybe
Speaker 1: can yeah, or they maybe feel like they can be
Speaker 1: so direct, yeah, or they feel like they can, you know,
Speaker 1: because you will only shame or guilt someone if.
Speaker 2: That triggers you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because if like I said, if you have like
Speaker 1: transcended that wound or whatever, then you're like, cool, I'm
Speaker 1: not too worried that she's off expressing herself, Like.
Speaker 2: That's great, yeah for her exactly.
Speaker 1: But it's if you don't express yourself how you would
Speaker 1: actually like ll that feels authentic to you, then you're
Speaker 1: gonna have a problem with other people doing it. M
Speaker 1: I love that. It's like almost remembering that whatever they
Speaker 1: say to you or call you too much of is
Speaker 1: a reflection of their triggers, but taking the responsibility of
Speaker 1: if it's triggering you, then there's something you have to
Speaker 1: work through. Because people should be able to say whatever
Speaker 1: they want and it shouldn't affect you. Yeah, because now
Speaker 1: when people tell me I'm intense, I'm like, thanks, thank you,
Speaker 1: put the summer remind yeah, put this on my report literally,
Speaker 1: And that's even that's such a great point to you.
Speaker 1: Is also there is also a conversation to be had.
Speaker 1: For example, if it is someone I love and care about,
Speaker 1: I will have that conversation with them that like, for example,
Speaker 1: me and Cooper have conversations all the time where I
Speaker 1: express to him, you know when you say this about me,
Speaker 1: it reflects to me that you actually mean this or
Speaker 1: you see me as this, and that can be helpful
Speaker 1: to me. And then he can be like, oh, I actually,
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't realize I was doing it, or
Speaker 1: you know, he brings in his piece and we have
Speaker 1: a really clean conversation about it about hey, that's actually
Speaker 1: like I actually don't appreciate when you say that to me,
Speaker 1: or I think you can have that conversation, it's actually like,
Speaker 1: oh no, you actually don't get to say that to me.
Speaker 1: We don't have to normalize this conversation, especially if it
Speaker 1: is with someone that you care about or you want
Speaker 1: to see again, because it's like, oh no, that's all
Speaker 1: you want to see, you know, if you have to
Speaker 1: see them, yeah you're cut off.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm actually not seeing you again.
Speaker 1: But one hundred percent, like if it is just like
Speaker 1: a fleeting comment or it's like you know, I do
Speaker 1: go into the oh, I'm not going to take this personally.
Speaker 2: And also I'm going to.
Speaker 1: Use this as awareness, like if someone does call me
Speaker 1: too much or direct, I'm like, oh, I do really
Speaker 1: get my point across quite quickly. And then I use
Speaker 1: this as self awareness for my identity and my concept
Speaker 1: of self and I'm able to have discernment on not
Speaker 1: letting their quote unquote negative like reflection or trigger taint me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but also one hundred percent if it is something that
Speaker 1: triggers me, it's like, oh, there's actually something here I
Speaker 1: probably need to just look into a bit more, you know.
Speaker 1: I have a question. Yeah, So, say someone is working
Speaker 1: through this too much wound and someone around them triggers it,
Speaker 1: or maybe they've recently worked through it, someone makes the
Speaker 1: comment it doesn't trigger them, But say it's their boss
Speaker 1: that makes that comment, would you or would you not
Speaker 1: tone that aspect of yourself down around that person? Because
Speaker 1: for me, I'm sort of in two minds on you
Speaker 1: should never especially if you've worked through the wound, you
Speaker 1: should just let the comments go. But also it's like
Speaker 1: a professional environment, does it sort of come into that,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, that's actually such a
Speaker 1: great point. I think it is a little bit different
Speaker 1: around a professional environment because you know, there's having that
Speaker 1: self awareness piece of not everyone works the way you do.
Speaker 1: And that's even that's a conversation that I have for
Speaker 1: myself constantly because I come from two parents who.
Speaker 2: Are really sensitive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm like not, So we do have to
Speaker 1: sometimes be conscious of the way I speak to them
Speaker 1: or how I bring things up, and it's my delivery. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I do because I love them and I do
Speaker 1: know they are sensitive and I love that about them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I am going to make sure my deliver free
Speaker 1: is a certain way because I can be quite direct
Speaker 1: and sometimes a bit hostile and that that is me.
Speaker 1: But also having the self awareness of I guess that's
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, yeah, of being like, you know, there are
Speaker 1: certain people it's just even like me a tier of
Speaker 1: how I speak to you and the R and C
Speaker 1: team like pretty fucking direct, but also like that's such
Speaker 1: like a mutual I would hope that and if anything ever,
Speaker 1: you know, was not okay, that you would have the
Speaker 1: conversation with me. Yeah, but it's like my conversation does
Speaker 1: change with other employees. And I think that's about me
Speaker 1: having discernment and self awareness of their communications and what
Speaker 1: they need and what, you know, even where they're at
Speaker 1: in their journey. Yeah, And I think that comes with
Speaker 1: mistakes and learning and realizing and also having that like
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, And I don't think it's about toning it down,
Speaker 1: but Also it is a good way to be like,
Speaker 1: oh did I maybe deliver that in a could I
Speaker 1: delivered that in a different way for this person? But again,
Speaker 1: it's having that conversation with yourself and running through and
Speaker 1: having discernmented and being like, you know, you can still
Speaker 1: be true to yourself. And this is actually I'm gonna
Speaker 1: bring my what I wrote down back in because this
Speaker 1: is a good thing of like, I actually went through
Speaker 1: something recently where I had to make a hard decision
Speaker 1: in between two different things and I don't really want
Speaker 1: to go into details, and there was kind of the
Speaker 1: result that making this hard decision, which felt really integral
Speaker 1: to my goals, my priorities and who I want to be,
Speaker 1: would maybe quote unquote look not so great to other people, right,
Speaker 1: and even going into that you know that direct or
Speaker 1: whatever that concept is. But it's like I had to
Speaker 1: lock into the feeling and also like how it feels
Speaker 1: for me? So rather than how do I look to
Speaker 1: the people, it's like, how does this.
Speaker 2: Feel for me? Yeah? Because I think sometimes.
Speaker 1: Like ex certainly it doesn't matter if you think I'm
Speaker 1: too much or I'm to this or I'm to that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as long as I'm okay internally, I can hold that,
Speaker 1: And I think that's what you have to lock into, Yeah,
Speaker 1: of like, am I actually okay with myself? You have
Speaker 1: to have the self trust, yeah, And having that self
Speaker 1: trust of even going through that process that I just did,
Speaker 1: and then also holding if someone does think I'm too
Speaker 1: much or I'm too direct, is that gonna like fuck
Speaker 1: up my whole day?
Speaker 2: Is that gonna just regulate me?
Speaker 1: Is that gonna like you know, And then being like
Speaker 1: I probably can't get through life if that did, because
Speaker 1: it would just happened all the time, do you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? So true, It's also like it's realizing
Speaker 1: but also taking into account obviously I'm not here fucking
Speaker 1: yelling at everyone and being a horrible person. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: but this is I swear, I'm really nice. She literally
Speaker 1: is the nicest person. Everyone speaks like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: pour a tear. But it's like, I'm okay to hold
Speaker 1: how some people might see me externally because I'm okay internally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and prioritizing that, Yeah, And I think I would rather
Speaker 1: be okay internally rather than it look a certain way
Speaker 1: externally to someone but secretly be fucking crumbling inside. Oh.
Speaker 1: So true.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? Did you see that difference?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And that's what you guys need to lock into.
Speaker 2: I love it. And on that note, we're done. Love
Speaker 2: you guys for much.
Speaker 1: With the directed and I swear I'm nice and I
Speaker 1: love you.
Speaker 2: Please please like mere.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conker Podcast. If you enjoyed it and
Speaker 1: want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Horizon
Speaker 1: Conquer dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a
Speaker 1: Rise in Conquer podcast community.
Speaker 2: We're an independent.
Speaker 1: Podcast and we have a small team, so we do
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Speaker 1: a follow or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to
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