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Speaker 1: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional owners on which this

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Speaker 1: episode is being recorded, the combo marry people. We pay

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Speaker 1: our respects to elders past, present and emerging and extend

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Speaker 1: that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

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Speaker 1: Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, and this is the

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Speaker 1: Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is the podcast where which

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Speaker 1: have mindset, self development and becoming your higher self mix

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Speaker 1: soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the scenes

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Speaker 1: of my life running two businesses and being among Think

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Speaker 1: of us as the perfect combo of brunch with your

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Speaker 1: besties mixed with self development. No matter where you are

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Speaker 1: in your journey, We're here to help you be curious,

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Speaker 1: pull yourself out, and embrace radical self awareness.

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Speaker 2: If you're ready to get into.

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Speaker 1: The driver's seat of your own life and stop letting

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Speaker 1: life past you by, then you're in the right place.

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Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the ron C Potty. On

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Speaker 1: today's episode, we are unpacking the concept of being too much,

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Speaker 1: what it actually means about you, about the person saying it,

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Speaker 1: and how you can move forward. We also chat about

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Speaker 1: do you actually need to change your behavior or is

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Speaker 1: this something you can brush off. So if you've ever

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Speaker 1: been told that you're too much of anything, too much,

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Speaker 1: too excited, too loud, too dramatic, too selfish, then you're

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Speaker 1: gonna love this episode. I also, I do a bit

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Speaker 1: of a spin because I think the people who click

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Speaker 1: on this episode and then listen, you're probably not going

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Speaker 1: to expect what I say. So true, but it's a goodie.

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Speaker 1: Keep listening. But before we get into the episode of tea,

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Speaker 1: I just want to remind the ron C community. Our

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Speaker 1: limited edition Life Happens for Me journaling boxes launch tomorrow

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Speaker 1: at five pm. Set your alarms if you're listening in

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Speaker 1: real time? Yeah, which is the nineteenth?

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Speaker 2: Is it nineteenth?

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Speaker 1: The nineteenth of April? Tomorrow, the nineteenth of April, five pm.

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Speaker 1: They are limited edition. They include our beautiful journal, our

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Speaker 1: beautiful Life Happens for Me glass that's secure little pink

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Speaker 1: bubble mug that you've seen around I've been showing you guys.

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Speaker 1: It includes a beautiful butterfly diffuser, a signature RNC sent

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's incredible. It's grounding but also activating.

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Speaker 2: So guys, set your alarm.

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Speaker 1: It's limited edition, and ten dollars from every single box

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Speaker 1: does go to Pink Elephants Support Network, who support women

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Speaker 1: going through early miscarriages. Such a beautiful charity to partner

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Speaker 1: with on this and we are so proud and yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we're so excited. Georgie, what's your weekly recommendation? Well, okay,

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Speaker 1: so how do I explain this? Well, I'm dabbling with

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Speaker 1: the idea. I'm not fully there, but I was telling

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Speaker 1: the girls. We had a team lunch a couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks ago, and I was telling the girls that I've

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Speaker 1: really been playing with this idea to fully stop consuming

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Speaker 1: content that scares me.

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Speaker 2: So just in the way of I just.

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Speaker 1: Noticed how much, you know, social media, Netflix was consuming

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Speaker 1: my time.

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Speaker 2: And I don't think I'm gonna go.

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Speaker 1: Cold turkey, but I'm just, I guess taking it up

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Speaker 1: a notch with how intentional I'm being. No Netflix during

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Speaker 1: the week. I can watch Netflix on the weekend with

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Speaker 1: Tim as like a me and him thing, But no

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Speaker 1: Netflix during the week unless it's a documentary.

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Speaker 2: That's the rule. You would to shut your mouth.

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Speaker 1: You guys can see my face. His mouth's open so wide.

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Speaker 1: He shocked Wow and off social media media by seven

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Speaker 1: seven point thirty, even though that's more because Ivy goes

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Speaker 1: to bed at six. We have dinner and then I

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Speaker 1: check my social media. But then once I get in bed,

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Speaker 1: it's like off social media. Tim's actually deleted all his

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Speaker 1: social media apps. I know he's currently going through a

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Speaker 1: bit of a self development journey, and he's like, I

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Speaker 1: love that, I just need to delete them because he

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Speaker 1: just finds he wastes so much shine on them. So

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Speaker 1: just more this idea of being so intentionable. And as

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Speaker 1: you guys know, I do have a coach at the moment,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's a one on one vibe. But also

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Speaker 1: as a byproductor of that, I get a lot of

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Speaker 1: you know, her course content. And so what I'm doing

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Speaker 1: is like just like immersing myself completely in when I'm

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Speaker 1: not working, It's like I'm doing self development, or I'm

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Speaker 1: reading a book, or I'm in the sauna. I'm not scrolling,

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Speaker 1: I'm not just watching random things to like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm just being very intentional. Yeah, and so I will

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Speaker 1: update this is a new thing. But I'm also just

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Speaker 1: like I'm speaking it because it also gives me a

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Speaker 1: bit of an accountability of And I said to the girls,

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Speaker 1: I wonder what could shift and change if I stuck

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Speaker 1: to this. So that's all I'm saying. Who knows, I

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Speaker 1: love that. I'm just being very honest with you. So

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Speaker 1: my weekly recommendation is, can you check in maybe do

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Speaker 1: a bit of an audit of where you're currently not

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Speaker 1: being intentional with what you consume? I love that. What's

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Speaker 1: your weekly good solid watch?

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Speaker 2: Your Netflix recommendation? A tear? I have two.

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Speaker 1: One recommendation is Netflix. One is not because I felt

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Speaker 1: like I needed to bring something else to the table.

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Speaker 1: So my first recommendation, which is Netflix, is the Night

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Speaker 1: Agent series.

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Speaker 2: I started watching this.

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Speaker 1: You didn't like it, no, when it first came out

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, I just thought it

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Speaker 1: was really bored.

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Speaker 2: Oh I loved it.

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Speaker 1: I'm in polar opposite. It's like the first TV series

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Speaker 1: I've watched in such a long time that I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch this an episode at a time over

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Speaker 1: a few days because I needed to give my attention

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Speaker 1: to it, Like I couldn't cook and watch.

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Speaker 2: Yeah kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: I just I'm not vibe in the whole like White House.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, I love them. I love those. If you've

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Speaker 1: like if you like White House, down or like Olympus's Fallen,

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Speaker 1: those kind of movies.

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Speaker 2: I like scandals. I didn't like Scandal.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what'll she next? My second recommendation is an episode

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Speaker 1: of the Life on Cut podcast that I listened to.

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Speaker 1: It's called Matthew Hussey does Not Give a F Word

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Speaker 1: about Your Relationship, and it's an interview with a man

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Speaker 1: named Matthew Hussey, and he's like a very very well

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Speaker 1: known relationship expert, and I just loved hearing his perspective

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Speaker 1: on stuff. I'd seen videos of him for years, like

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Speaker 1: he's been on YouTube for years. If you look at

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Speaker 1: his face, you'll probably know him. And what I really

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Speaker 1: loved that they spoke about was the concept of needing

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Speaker 1: to be your whole self fixed and ready for a

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Speaker 1: relationship before you get into one, and how he doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Agree with that.

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Speaker 1: So it's a really, really great interview and I'd highly

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Speaker 1: recommend that to pretty much everyone. I love that.

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Speaker 2: That's actually so interesting.

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Speaker 1: I was reading a quote.

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Speaker 2: I will literally take.

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Speaker 1: A photo it because Kay I thought of this exact thing,

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Speaker 1: and it was kind of this quote about yeah, not

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Speaker 1: agreeing that you know how it's like to love some

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Speaker 1: I've got it. It's like to love someone how to

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Speaker 1: love yourself first before someone can love you. Yes, and

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Speaker 1: it was saying, we don't agree with that quote because

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Speaker 1: you need someone to show like you need to be

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Speaker 1: shown how to love first. Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Is that him? And we think about that.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that is from him because he he was sort

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Speaker 1: of along this a similar line. But he also like

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Speaker 1: brought up that sometimes you'll have insecurities, but that'll be

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Speaker 1: someone's favorite thing. Their favorite thing about you is the

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Speaker 1: thing you're insecure about, and they will show you like

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Speaker 1: a different way to love yourself almost. Yeah, if that

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Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so cool.

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Speaker 1: Also about how in relationships it's not necessarily about doing

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Speaker 1: everything together, but it's about supporting your partner in whatever

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Speaker 1: they want to do. And he spoke about how he

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Speaker 1: has some ritual he does in the morning that his

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Speaker 1: partner would never do, but he does it like in

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Speaker 1: a different room in the house and one time he

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Speaker 1: woke up and she'd set up the room perfectly for

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Speaker 1: him to do it, and it just meant so much

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Speaker 1: to him that even though she didn't do it, she

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Speaker 1: respected that he did. But yeah, really get an interviews.

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Speaker 1: I'm pulling the most random bits from it. It probably not

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Speaker 1: being too convinced.

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Speaker 2: No, we love it. Yeah, but I loved it.

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Speaker 1: I highly recommend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, awesome.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, let's bloody get straight into it.

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Speaker 1: So today we're talking of the concept of being too much.

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Speaker 2: I love this so much.

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Speaker 1: Why because I've had this said to me so many

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Speaker 1: times throughout my life, and I feel like most listeners

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Speaker 1: would too, one hundred percent. If you're an R and

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Speaker 1: C listener, you've probably been told you too much. I like,

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Speaker 1: and you know this can be you have been told

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Speaker 1: you're too much like in regards to you're too energetically,

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Speaker 1: you're too like hyped up, you're too emotional, you're too loud,

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Speaker 1: you're too unpredictable, you're too difficult.

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Speaker 2: I was the difficult one.

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Speaker 1: I was, And I also like, you're too spicy or

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Speaker 1: too direct, too dramatic, Oh, so dramatic. It was like,

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Speaker 1: my whole childhood is mean getting called dramatic and difficult,

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Speaker 1: and also me getting called like selfish. You know, I

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Speaker 1: felt like as a child, I held my boundaries really strong,

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Speaker 1: and so like I was called like, oh, you're being selfish,

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Speaker 1: you're not thinking about the others, but I'm like, no, no.

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Speaker 2: I just know my boundaries. Wow, yeah, don't you think

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Speaker 2: I was?

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Speaker 1: No? I agree in like that definition, but I was

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Speaker 1: like a doormat as a kid and through high school. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: no boundaries none, a tr I know, But I know

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Speaker 1: better now. Yeah, good, I do know better now. And

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Speaker 1: like one thing that someone said to me that stuck

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Speaker 1: with me. They're like people are dormats and dinosaurs, and

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Speaker 1: then then it's like a good in between when it

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Speaker 1: comes to like holding your boundaries. But some people who

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Speaker 1: are dormats all the time, you'll come out and be

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Speaker 1: a dinosaur about the most random thing. And that would

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Speaker 1: happen to me, Like I'd have little random almost explosions,

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Speaker 1: super super silly things. Yeah, And I couldn't understand why

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Speaker 1: until I actually learned that, like, oh, it's because I'm

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Speaker 1: letting people push me over for so long and then

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Speaker 1: I explode and it balances, but I could just maintain

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Speaker 1: balance instead. That self awareness is amazing that you can

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Speaker 1: even register that of like I'm not strong enough my boundaries.

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Speaker 1: That it's like I let it get to a limit

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Speaker 1: and then there's this limit and then I explode rather

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Speaker 1: than bringing the boundary back here and it's like this

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Speaker 1: actually just gets to be it and.

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Speaker 2: Then it doesn't have to come out in a toxic way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I used to do that too, like it

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Speaker 1: would like build and build and build, and then it

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Speaker 1: would come out in this like toxic way because they

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Speaker 1: didn't know how to express myself.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but going back to it, so I have an

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Speaker 2: interesting take on this.

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Speaker 1: I feel like this is a conversation we probably had

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Speaker 1: on this podcast of being called too much, too much

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Speaker 1: of whatever, and I feel like so many people can

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Speaker 1: resonate with it, and I think there's two parts to this,

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Speaker 1: so I want to speak to both. Yeah, so the

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Speaker 1: first part is very much what you probably thought this

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Speaker 1: episode was going to be about, where when someone's calling

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Speaker 1: you too much, it's very much their responsibility of what

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Speaker 1: they define and what's a thing for them, rather than like, actually,

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with you kind of thing. There is, though,

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Speaker 1: a second part to this conversation where I feel like

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Speaker 1: we haven't had this on the podcast, and I want

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Speaker 1: to unpack this a little bit today of realizing that

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Speaker 1: you also have a responsibility of if you're getting if

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Speaker 1: you're feeling the feelings of shame because you feel too much,

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Speaker 1: or guilt because you feel too much in whatever angle,

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Speaker 1: or getting the feelings of your upset that someone called

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Speaker 1: you too much, of taking some responsibility in regards to

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Speaker 1: not letting outside opinions sway you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so true, don't you think?

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Speaker 1: It's kind of a two part And I think sometimes

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Speaker 1: usually the conversation, especially I've been guilty of this of

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Speaker 1: like we're like, oh, well, the other person's just they

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Speaker 1: can't handle you know, even the quotes of like you know,

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Speaker 1: if you think I'm too much, you don't get me

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Speaker 1: at my or if you can't handle me at my worst,

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Speaker 1: you don't deserve me at my bed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But the other one I was thinking of where it was.

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Speaker 1: I saw it on TikTok and it was if you

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Speaker 1: say I'm too much, go and find less. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: like I think, like like I like, I do agree

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Speaker 1: with it, but it's like also, I think a big

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Speaker 1: part of self development too is realizing where the other

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Speaker 1: person has responsibility. But also we're realizing you can have

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Speaker 1: responsibility and clean some stuff up. Because, for example, if

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Speaker 1: you clicked into this episode that I'm you know, a

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Speaker 1: tea is probably gonna call it something about being too much.

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Speaker 1: It's because that provokes you, It upsets you, it triggers you.

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Speaker 1: So you need to look into that trigger. Because truly,

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Speaker 1: if if you were so clear on who you are,

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Speaker 1: and you were so clear on like who you are

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Speaker 1: at your heart and what you bring to the table,

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Speaker 1: and that wasn't rocked, you wouldn't even be.

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Speaker 2: Worried about this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you wouldn't be clicking into an episode like this

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Speaker 1: because you're like, I don't give a fuck.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's why I just I.

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Speaker 1: Think we need to speak on kind of the both

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Speaker 1: sides of like, you know, taking responsibility for yourself and

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Speaker 1: then also realizing how much this is a representation of

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Speaker 1: what the other person is going through. Yeah, so true.

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Speaker 1: I actually have a cool quote that I wrote when

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Speaker 1: I was getting my brows done.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I loved that.

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Speaker 1: I was not that I wrote, but it's like I

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Speaker 1: had this thought on my head and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I've got to write this down before I forget. So

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Speaker 1: what I want to bring to this episode is like

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Speaker 1: realizing that it doesn't matter externally what is seen, but

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Speaker 1: it matters internally how you feel.

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Speaker 2: Let that simmer, Let that sink in.

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Speaker 1: So, for example, if someone telling you you're too much

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Speaker 1: upsets you, dysregulates you, triggers you. It's because your identity

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Speaker 1: of yourself you half believe them. Otherwise, why would it

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Speaker 1: upset you?

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Speaker 2: Usually because you know who you are. Yeah, so that's

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: I think there's two parts to this conversation, which is

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Speaker 1: really cool because it's not just people like, of course

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Speaker 1: there are just like jerks out there, there's people who

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Speaker 1: are just like they're just their asshole, stupid assets. But

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Speaker 1: also realizing when you know people are adding you and

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Speaker 1: it's triggering you of like, oh, whereas actually my identity

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Speaker 1: of self not solid here, I have a question.

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Speaker 2: Talk to me.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like you've worked through the too much wound?

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Speaker 2: I do? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I wasn't like really bad for you

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Speaker 1: at any point huge in my early twenties, and I

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Speaker 1: it was a I'm too much, I need to conform

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Speaker 1: or I'm too much. Let me have a song and

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Speaker 1: dance about it, like let me fucking tell you how

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Speaker 1: you thinking I'm too much is all about you, and

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Speaker 1: like let's make it dramatic. Oh my god, because truly

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Speaker 1: it triggered me. Yeah, and I think like I think

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Speaker 1: that's also fine. I think it's so normal.

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Speaker 2: We're all on our journey.

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Speaker 1: But that's I do feel like I have kind of

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Speaker 1: transcended this wound, and that's kind of what I want

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Speaker 1: to bring into it. If it does trigger you, I

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Speaker 1: think you need to do some identity work around how

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Speaker 1: you see yourself and getting solid in how you see yourself. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I think the biggest part here is realizing that

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Speaker 1: you know someone's too much is another person's Holy shit,

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Speaker 1: she's magnetic, you know, Like so many people would see

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Speaker 1: my content and think, fuck, she is way too much,

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Speaker 1: and then the exact same piece of content someone else

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Speaker 1: is like, fuck, she's inspiring.

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Speaker 2: She just expanded me.

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Speaker 1: So do you see how like I can be Like

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Speaker 1: if someone thinks I'm too much, or I'm too emotional,

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Speaker 1: I'm too dramatic, or a big thing I'm actually.

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Speaker 2: Leaning into right now, I can be why I am.

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Speaker 1: I'm so direct, and I think some people can really

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Speaker 1: see that as I'm not a heartfelt person, or I'm

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Speaker 1: not a caring person, or I'm a mean person or whatever,

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Speaker 1: And sometimes that can upset me or just regulate me

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Speaker 1: because I am like, oh, but I am a caring person.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's something I haven't fully like worked.

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Speaker 1: Through and I can fully see that, but it's like

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Speaker 1: just kind of figuring out where you feel solid in

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Speaker 1: who you are and where it's like, oh, I actually

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Speaker 1: i'd want to feel solid in this aspect because I

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Speaker 1: truly love how direct I am.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's how I get points across.

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Speaker 1: That's how i am quickly, easily and quickly.

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Speaker 2: Because I've got no time.

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Speaker 1: And also that's what I love. And if someone's talking

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Speaker 1: to me and they've just taken fucking twenty minutes to

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Speaker 1: get to one point, I'm like, dude, I don't have

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Speaker 1: dime in this. And also like stop with the context,

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Speaker 1: stop with like the fluff. Yeah, tell me exactly how

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Speaker 1: you feel, tell me your deepest, darkest secrets right now.

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Speaker 2: And let's just go straight in.

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Speaker 1: Do you mean like that's my vibe? Yeah, So that's

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Speaker 1: the vibe I give out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Because also I'm trying to attract people. Yeah, like that,

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Speaker 1: So that's why I'm like, you know, you can battle

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Speaker 1: with those sorts of things. So I think a big

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Speaker 1: thing of like if you're told you're too much, and

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Speaker 1: it does just regulate you a little bit of being like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's so interesting because I I, you know, my concept

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Speaker 1: of self is I'm a confident person. But am I

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Speaker 1: actually that confident if that comment upsets me? So true?

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Speaker 1: And then figuring out and it's all about reframing, so

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Speaker 1: first of all, you know, like going straight into it

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Speaker 1: of like not going into shame and guilt that that's

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Speaker 1: still upset you or you know, I think also like

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna randomly bring this in. A big thing

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Speaker 1: that has helped me is like just not taking things personally. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how much does like one comment and you just fucking

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Speaker 1: take it to heart and it's like the only thing

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Speaker 1: you think of for years, for years, it can be

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Speaker 1: for years, and it's like some on set of fleeting comment,

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Speaker 1: like the amount of shit that comes out of my

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Speaker 1: mouth that probably is just like me talking shit, And it's.

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Speaker 2: Not in a like no, I know what you mean.

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Speaker 1: It's like I would never want someone told onto that

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Speaker 1: hold onto something. And I think that's also a big

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Speaker 1: thing too, is like stepping back a little bit and

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Speaker 1: being like, oh am I taking this too personally because

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Speaker 1: also like how are you gonna get through life? Hard?

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Speaker 2: And like I want to live in the vibe of

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Speaker 2: life happens for me.

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Speaker 1: So it's like, oh, nah, I'm just not gonna take

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Speaker 1: that personally because also I know it's such a reflection

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Speaker 1: of what that person is going through and they're level

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Speaker 1: of emotional intelligence and their level of their self development.

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Speaker 1: So true. So I'm like, oh, just not, I'm not

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Speaker 1: here for this conversation. Yeah. I had to work through

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Speaker 1: the wound quite young. Yeah, from like literally as long

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Speaker 1: as I can remember, all through school, my friends, teachers, family, everyone.

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Speaker 1: Oh she talks so much. Oh she's so intense. Oh

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Speaker 1: she's so dramatic. And then into high school a lot

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Speaker 1: like often it was like intense, intimidating, just like non

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Speaker 1: stop talking, Like if I try to talk to someone

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Speaker 1: about a topic, I'm passionate about it, just like my

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Speaker 1: speech never ends. Yeah, and and you know what, it's sorry,

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Speaker 1: just quickly interect here. Oh she's so political, Like she's

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Speaker 1: so opinionated. I always got the opinionating. Oh yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was like, what would you rather me.

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Speaker 2: Not have opinion? Would you rather me not speak? Because

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Speaker 2: that's kind of where you're leading with it, literally.

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Speaker 1: And that's what I got told. And even when it

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Speaker 1: came to things like I think it must have been

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Speaker 1: like fifteen, But this was a comment that I really

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Speaker 1: had to work through, which is why I still remember.

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Speaker 1: It was when my friends are talking about boys and

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Speaker 1: all that sort of stuff, and I was like, oh, like,

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Speaker 1: I've never had a boyfriend. And then someone made a

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Speaker 1: comment about me being a bit of a handful, and

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Speaker 1: then someone else was like, oh, just one, and I

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Speaker 1: was like oh, and I'm like, but you know what

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00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 1: that's like, as in, like I'm a lot to handle. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like I get it, and then someone okay, yeah.

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Speaker 2: But like what the like, I know.

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Speaker 1: Was such a random thing to happen, I know, And

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Speaker 1: then that obviously stung. But obviously when I worked through that,

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Speaker 1: I got to the point of if I'm two fucking handfuls,

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Speaker 1: someone will love it, yes, And why would you not

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Speaker 1: want so much of a person? I actually, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: quickly say something. So it's really funny because that's the

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Speaker 1: comment that I get most in like me and Tim's

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Speaker 1: relationship of like he's so easy going, he's so nice

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Speaker 1: and blah blah blah, and she so spicy and such

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Speaker 1: a handful. Yeah, and but I like reflect them. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if he secretly didn't fucking love it. Do you think

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Speaker 1: he'd still.

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Speaker 2: Be with me?

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Speaker 1: Mean, yeah, it's a choice he's made. He's clearly fucking

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Speaker 1: getting off on it. Do you mean like he loves

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Speaker 1: that energy? Otherwise he wouldn't be with me exactly?

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Speaker 2: And it's like there are.

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Speaker 1: People out there that, Yeah, he loves how spicy I am?

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Speaker 1: Do you mean like that's and I think anyone that's

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Speaker 1: a handful of the quote unquote handful.

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Speaker 2: Of course, they're like the best people ever so far.

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Speaker 2: Why would you not want to be around them? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: Like we don't do boring here.

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Speaker 1: No, But also that's such a and let's even reframe

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Speaker 1: this conversation of if someone kind of says something that

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Speaker 1: you almost thought was a strength of yours and.

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Speaker 2: They turn it into a negative.

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Speaker 1: Is such a reflection that I still take it as

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Speaker 1: a compliment because I'm like, oh, I'm actually probably triggering

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Speaker 1: them because I express myself so truly to who I am,

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Speaker 1: and they probably aren't at the point where they maybe

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Speaker 1: can yeah, or they maybe feel like they can be

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Speaker 1: so direct, yeah, or they feel like they can, you know,

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Speaker 1: because you will only shame or guilt someone if.

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Speaker 2: That triggers you.

437
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, because if like I said, if you have like

438
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 1: transcended that wound or whatever, then you're like, cool, I'm

439
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: not too worried that she's off expressing herself, Like.

440
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: That's great, yeah for her exactly.

441
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: But it's if you don't express yourself how you would

442
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 1: actually like ll that feels authentic to you, then you're

443
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: gonna have a problem with other people doing it. M

444
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: I love that. It's like almost remembering that whatever they

445
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 1: say to you or call you too much of is

446
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 1: a reflection of their triggers, but taking the responsibility of

447
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 1: if it's triggering you, then there's something you have to

448
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: work through. Because people should be able to say whatever

449
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: they want and it shouldn't affect you. Yeah, because now

450
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: when people tell me I'm intense, I'm like, thanks, thank you,

451
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 1: put the summer remind yeah, put this on my report literally,

452
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 1: And that's even that's such a great point to you.

453
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: Is also there is also a conversation to be had.

454
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: For example, if it is someone I love and care about,

455
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: I will have that conversation with them that like, for example,

456
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: me and Cooper have conversations all the time where I

457
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: express to him, you know when you say this about me,

458
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 1: it reflects to me that you actually mean this or

459
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,200
Speaker 1: you see me as this, and that can be helpful

460
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: to me. And then he can be like, oh, I actually,

461
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't realize I was doing it, or

462
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 1: you know, he brings in his piece and we have

463
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 1: a really clean conversation about it about hey, that's actually

464
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 1: like I actually don't appreciate when you say that to me,

465
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: or I think you can have that conversation, it's actually like,

466
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,679
Speaker 1: oh no, you actually don't get to say that to me.

467
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 1: We don't have to normalize this conversation, especially if it

468
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 1: is with someone that you care about or you want

469
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 1: to see again, because it's like, oh no, that's all

470
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: you want to see, you know, if you have to

471
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: see them, yeah you're cut off.

472
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm actually not seeing you again.

473
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 1: But one hundred percent, like if it is just like

474
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: a fleeting comment or it's like you know, I do

475
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 1: go into the oh, I'm not going to take this personally.

476
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 2: And also I'm going to.

477
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: Use this as awareness, like if someone does call me

478
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: too much or direct, I'm like, oh, I do really

479
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 1: get my point across quite quickly. And then I use

480
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 1: this as self awareness for my identity and my concept

481
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: of self and I'm able to have discernment on not

482
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 1: letting their quote unquote negative like reflection or trigger taint me. Yeah,

483
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 1: but also one hundred percent if it is something that

484
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 1: triggers me, it's like, oh, there's actually something here I

485
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,879
Speaker 1: probably need to just look into a bit more, you know.

486
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: I have a question. Yeah, So, say someone is working

487
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: through this too much wound and someone around them triggers it,

488
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 1: or maybe they've recently worked through it, someone makes the

489
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 1: comment it doesn't trigger them, But say it's their boss

490
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,439
Speaker 1: that makes that comment, would you or would you not

491
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: tone that aspect of yourself down around that person? Because

492
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: for me, I'm sort of in two minds on you

493
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: should never especially if you've worked through the wound, you

494
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,199
Speaker 1: should just let the comments go. But also it's like

495
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 1: a professional environment, does it sort of come into that,

496
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,199
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, that's actually such a

497
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 1: great point. I think it is a little bit different

498
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: around a professional environment because you know, there's having that

499
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 1: self awareness piece of not everyone works the way you do.

500
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 1: And that's even that's a conversation that I have for

501
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: myself constantly because I come from two parents who.

502
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 2: Are really sensitive.

503
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm like not, So we do have to

504
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,880
Speaker 1: sometimes be conscious of the way I speak to them

505
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: or how I bring things up, and it's my delivery. Yeah,

506
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,879
Speaker 1: and I do because I love them and I do

507
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: know they are sensitive and I love that about them. Yeah,

508
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,440
Speaker 1: so I am going to make sure my deliver free

509
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 1: is a certain way because I can be quite direct

510
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,199
Speaker 1: and sometimes a bit hostile and that that is me.

511
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 1: But also having the self awareness of I guess that's

512
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, yeah, of being like, you know, there are

513
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 1: certain people it's just even like me a tier of

514
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 1: how I speak to you and the R and C

515
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 1: team like pretty fucking direct, but also like that's such

516
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: like a mutual I would hope that and if anything ever,

517
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: you know, was not okay, that you would have the

518
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,400
Speaker 1: conversation with me. Yeah, but it's like my conversation does

519
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: change with other employees. And I think that's about me

520
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:41,239
Speaker 1: having discernment and self awareness of their communications and what

521
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 1: they need and what, you know, even where they're at

522
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: in their journey. Yeah, And I think that comes with

523
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,199
Speaker 1: mistakes and learning and realizing and also having that like

524
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, And I don't think it's about toning it down,

525
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 1: but Also it is a good way to be like,

526
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: oh did I maybe deliver that in a could I

527
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: delivered that in a different way for this person? But again,

528
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: it's having that conversation with yourself and running through and

529
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: having discernmented and being like, you know, you can still

530
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 1: be true to yourself. And this is actually I'm gonna

531
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: bring my what I wrote down back in because this

532
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: is a good thing of like, I actually went through

533
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 1: something recently where I had to make a hard decision

534
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 1: in between two different things and I don't really want

535
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: to go into details, and there was kind of the

536
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 1: result that making this hard decision, which felt really integral

537
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: to my goals, my priorities and who I want to be,

538
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: would maybe quote unquote look not so great to other people, right,

539
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 1: and even going into that you know that direct or

540
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: whatever that concept is. But it's like I had to

541
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 1: lock into the feeling and also like how it feels

542
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: for me? So rather than how do I look to

543
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 1: the people, it's like, how does this.

544
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 2: Feel for me? Yeah? Because I think sometimes.

545
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 1: Like ex certainly it doesn't matter if you think I'm

546
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: too much or I'm to this or I'm to that. Yeah,

547
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: as long as I'm okay internally, I can hold that,

548
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: And I think that's what you have to lock into, Yeah,

549
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: of like, am I actually okay with myself? You have

550
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: to have the self trust, yeah, And having that self

551
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: trust of even going through that process that I just did,

552
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 1: and then also holding if someone does think I'm too

553
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: much or I'm too direct, is that gonna like fuck

554
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: up my whole day?

555
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 2: Is that gonna just regulate me?

556
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: Is that gonna like you know, And then being like

557
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 1: I probably can't get through life if that did, because

558
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,120
Speaker 1: it would just happened all the time, do you know

559
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: what I mean? So true, It's also like it's realizing

560
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: but also taking into account obviously I'm not here fucking

561
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: yelling at everyone and being a horrible person. Yeah no,

562
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 1: but this is I swear, I'm really nice. She literally

563
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 1: is the nicest person. Everyone speaks like, oh my god,

564
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: pour a tear. But it's like, I'm okay to hold

565
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: how some people might see me externally because I'm okay internally. Yeah,

566
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: and prioritizing that, Yeah, And I think I would rather

567
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 1: be okay internally rather than it look a certain way

568
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 1: externally to someone but secretly be fucking crumbling inside. Oh.

569
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 1: So true.

570
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? Did you see that difference?

571
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: Yeah? And that's what you guys need to lock into.

572
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 2: I love it. And on that note, we're done. Love

573
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 2: you guys for much.

574
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: With the directed and I swear I'm nice and I

575
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: love you.

576
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: Please please like mere.

577
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of

578
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conker Podcast. If you enjoyed it and

579
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Horizon

580
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: Conquer dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a

581
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: Rise in Conquer podcast community.

582
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 2: We're an independent.

583
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: Podcast and we have a small team, so we do

584
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: appreciate your time and support. If you have a spare moment,

585
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: a follow or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to

586
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: would be so amazing. And look, if you're feeling extra kind,

587
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 1: a review on Apple Podcasts would be great.