WEBVTT - The Difference Between Ick, Irk & Red Flags 🚩

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<v Speaker 1>The flexen Rooms Daily Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, sweet Angels and little tiny gremlins living under a bridge.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the Flexing Froom's podcast. When I say little

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<v Speaker 2>gremlins hanging out under the bridge, can I just tell

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<v Speaker 2>you who I see down there? Brook, our producer, oh farting, burping,

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<v Speaker 2>eating liquids because she has a saw.

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<v Speaker 3>Hummy Brook can't get a break, not on this podcast.

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<v Speaker 4>You are bridge adjacent.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, you're on top of the bridge making deals, but

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<v Speaker 2>your pure self is under the bridge like a gremlin,

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<v Speaker 2>split split gremlin personality.

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<v Speaker 4>That's the other one. Sweety pie, sweet Angel.

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<v Speaker 3>Sweety pie, sweet angels, gremlins, goblins.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a sweety pie angel. I don't need to explain

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<v Speaker 2>why with.

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<v Speaker 3>A goblin cusp for sure. Grinch rising.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, this is extremely irrelevant because it's completely relevant.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think people would recognize the greens rising in you.

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<v Speaker 3>They don't know you're a hater, babe, really no, don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, this is why we have the sement called life

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<v Speaker 2>of a Karen, trying to just put it into the open.

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<v Speaker 2>So when a big public blow up comes out and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm shown as a gremlin, it's like I told you

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<v Speaker 2>the whole way along.

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<v Speaker 3>Anyway, we've got citations.

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<v Speaker 2>Today we are talking about a method that you can

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<v Speaker 2>use to become less judgmental of people. It's a two

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<v Speaker 2>word method, so it's quite applicable to your life straight away.

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<v Speaker 4>Three as do I.

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<v Speaker 2>I won't give it away. I won't give it away.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's just get into it.

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<v Speaker 4>You're inflexing rooms, flex and frooms.

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<v Speaker 2>The other day we were talking about ix erks and

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<v Speaker 2>red flags. These are terms that have come to prominence,

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<v Speaker 2>i'd say in the last three years.

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<v Speaker 4>Definitely. I think we've had a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>Of time inside and I think we're getting to the

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<v Speaker 2>point people, especially at our age, they have clocked the apps.

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<v Speaker 2>They was on the final level of the apps, and

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<v Speaker 2>if they're still single, they're freaking out a little bit,

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<v Speaker 2>and they're trying to code what it's like when people

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<v Speaker 2>don't really hit. No longer to someone just not hit

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<v Speaker 2>because they're not the person for you. They don't hit

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<v Speaker 2>because they're irking you. Yes, they're eching you. Yeah, they're

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<v Speaker 2>giving you the IK the young or a red flag.

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<v Speaker 2>Something about them is wrong because you can't face the

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<v Speaker 2>fact that something about you is wrong. Oh, I love

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<v Speaker 2>you have had some feelings today, I came ready to fight.

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<v Speaker 2>So what I've done is I've gone onto the Internet

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<v Speaker 2>and tried to find a definitive definition for each of

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<v Speaker 2>these terms.

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<v Speaker 3>Because we need it at this point. I think we

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<v Speaker 3>people society have been talking in circles about what should

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<v Speaker 3>be quite a simple topic to understand, and I think

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<v Speaker 3>using like this ambiguous language is making it sound more

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<v Speaker 3>complicated than it needs to.

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<v Speaker 2>I have gone onto Merriam Webster. Okay, And for erk

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<v Speaker 2>is a word that's been around prior to dating. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>whereas eke and red flag have kind of been co

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<v Speaker 2>opted by the dating movement, but this one has always

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<v Speaker 2>been around.

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<v Speaker 3>The dating agenda.

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<v Speaker 2>Erk definition of erk to make wary, irritated, or bored.

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<v Speaker 2>And then erk as a noun.

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<v Speaker 3>That's all a lot wherey, irritated or bored. Those are

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<v Speaker 3>three very distinct feelings.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, true, where he is you're getting torn down, you're

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<v Speaker 2>getting chipped away, irritated is it's like itchy, like you're

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<v Speaker 2>getting angry, and bored is general malays empathetic. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 2>then that's as a verb and then as a noun,

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<v Speaker 2>which I honestly don't know the difference. You lost to

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<v Speaker 2>me it annoys me because I'm a writer. I've never

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<v Speaker 2>understood it. Yeah, I don't know how to where to

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<v Speaker 2>put commas anyway, I'm just getting treated you.

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<v Speaker 3>I can talk a lot in one sentence. I don't

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<v Speaker 3>need a comma.

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<v Speaker 2>Bab Erk as a noun, is the fact of being

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<v Speaker 2>annoying or a source of annoyance?

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<v Speaker 3>I get it, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Then what is the ick?

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<v Speaker 2>This is uni s q e U dot au, so

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<v Speaker 2>it's some sort of university.

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<v Speaker 4>It's not in the in the dition, but official.

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<v Speaker 2>The ick much discussed on TikTok and Instagram. Mainely, is

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<v Speaker 2>there attraction to a current or potential partner suddenly flipped

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<v Speaker 2>and as feeling of disgust. Then I went to Urban

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<v Speaker 2>Dictionary to back it up its references. You could be

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<v Speaker 2>on the Chirpsy with a guy or girl. Everything seems

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<v Speaker 2>to be going fine on the chirpsy Chirpsy. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know that I like that, Oh like chatting? Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that's cool. You think you like them, but then you

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<v Speaker 2>suddenly catch the eck. From then on you just can't

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<v Speaker 2>look at the person in the same way. You just

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<v Speaker 2>progressively get more and more turned off. By them weirdly

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<v Speaker 2>and maybe for no reason in particular grossed out by them.

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<v Speaker 4>You'll cringe at the.

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<v Speaker 2>Thought of you and them together. Nothing will be the same,

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<v Speaker 2>you won't be able to do any longer, and eventually

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<v Speaker 2>you'll have to.

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<v Speaker 4>Cut it off. Yeah, that seems realistic.

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<v Speaker 2>The ick is interesting to me. When you can't quite

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<v Speaker 2>put your finger on it, it means a subconscious nose.

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<v Speaker 3>The ick is trusting your most honest response to something,

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<v Speaker 3>even if it's juvenile, unfounded, it's there. And the further

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<v Speaker 3>you get away from the eck is when you try

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<v Speaker 3>and like conceptualize what cannot be explained.

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<v Speaker 2>Then red flag, the definition on the Dictionary Oxford Languages

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<v Speaker 2>is a red flag is the symbol of the Socialist revolution.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, red flag is used as a warning of danger,

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<v Speaker 4>which feels a.

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<v Speaker 3>Bit oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And then red flag as a transistive verb is to

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<v Speaker 2>identify or draw attention to a problem or an issue

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<v Speaker 2>to be dealt with. And then they actually have a

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<v Speaker 2>definition the Merriam Webster relating to dating, they say, we met,

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<v Speaker 2>we got along great, and I Spike Lee told her,

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<v Speaker 2>not only do I want to work with the actors,

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<v Speaker 2>but I want you to look at this script. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a man, and I know there's going to be stuff

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<v Speaker 2>in there that's strictly from a male viewpoint. I want

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<v Speaker 2>to red flag that stuff. I want you to red

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<v Speaker 2>flag that stuff.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, So what we can understand is that not all

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<v Speaker 3>x are red.

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<v Speaker 2>Flags, and not all erks are ix and ix erks.

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<v Speaker 3>But most red flags can also be ix as well.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't agree with that. I think red flags and

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<v Speaker 3>nicks are completely different.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no overlap, no wow, because to me, a red

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<v Speaker 2>flag is something that is rooted in morals and logic.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah. Can I give you an example? Yeah? Please?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, they smell all the time. They don't wear deodorant.

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<v Speaker 2>I think the vast majority of people would find that

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<v Speaker 2>gross and not acceptable to smell.

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<v Speaker 4>So what is that for you? That's a red flag?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, it's a red flag.

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<v Speaker 2>Whereas an equality, they use a deodorant that I don't like.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you have one that you don't like, natural diodor.

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<v Speaker 2>We've spoken about this at length. Actually, rather just smell

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<v Speaker 2>your pits and natural deodorant.

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<v Speaker 4>Anyway, Flex and frooms.

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<v Speaker 3>FLEXI, how are you feeling feeling good? Feeling great? I

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<v Speaker 3>am trying to suppress a coughing fit so badly. I

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<v Speaker 3>really don't want to do it. It's like, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>it's tickling the tonsils.

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<v Speaker 4>It's there, it's waiting ill.

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<v Speaker 3>I have some bad news though, and I hate to

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<v Speaker 3>start on a somber note, but I want to know

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<v Speaker 3>if you knew about this. Iceland hates Justin Bieber. What

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<v Speaker 3>broad stokes. I want to say that's maybe like an

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<v Speaker 3>over exaggeration, but I don't think it is. So basically,

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<v Speaker 3>Justin Bieber has this track called I'll Show You. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>not sure if you know it, but it's a very

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<v Speaker 3>like Ballady end of high school musical triumph scene.

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<v Speaker 4>What year did he release it? I want to say

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<v Speaker 4>like twenty eighteen.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, recent enough, very triumph fent type of vibe.

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<v Speaker 3>But he filmed that music video in Iceland in this

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<v Speaker 3>really beautiful remote location. Imagine like a lot of canyons,

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<v Speaker 3>moss waterfalls, think like tropical vibes, but wintery cool, very

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<v Speaker 3>beautiful and very lush. But the thing about this location,

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<v Speaker 3>it was quite a deep cut. It wasn't your grand canyon,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, it wasn't your your what's the other one?

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<v Speaker 3>Give me another one Niagara Falls exactly.

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<v Speaker 4>It was one of those.

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<v Speaker 3>It was a deep cut because it was meant to be,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, kept safe. So basically he films his video

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<v Speaker 3>clip there and he's like swimming in the waterfalls and

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<v Speaker 3>he's enjoying the nature, and he's like walking on the

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<v Speaker 3>moss and essentially like I wouldn't say, ruining the environment,

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<v Speaker 3>but not treating it nice and not really giving viewers

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<v Speaker 3>the proper understanding of how sacred that land was. So

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<v Speaker 3>naturally everyone's like, I want to go there. That seems amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>So it was in twenty twenty nineteen, two point three

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<v Speaker 3>million tourists visited at that location, as opposed to six

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<v Speaker 3>hundred thousand a couple of years beforehand, so just too many,

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<v Speaker 3>which led to not only the degradation of that land area,

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<v Speaker 3>but the closure of it. Now nobody can go and

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<v Speaker 3>visit it anymore because too much damage happened. And you

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<v Speaker 3>know when they say, like one bad apple spoils the rest,

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<v Speaker 3>it was kind of like that scenario. We can't totally

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<v Speaker 3>blame Justin Bieber, but if someone needs to be responsible,

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<v Speaker 3>it would be him in this instance.

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<v Speaker 4>And it's the fact.

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<v Speaker 3>That maybe because there wasn't a duty of care with

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<v Speaker 3>how he was using or interacting with the environment. That

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<v Speaker 3>gave everyone else the impression that it was a free

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<v Speaker 3>for all and now no one can use it.

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<v Speaker 4>The believers were following suit. It's such a bleating though.

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<v Speaker 3>Imagine a whole country being like it's done.

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<v Speaker 4>It's well. It seems that.

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<v Speaker 2>They're taking quite a bit of initiative, which I appreciate

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<v Speaker 2>their setting some boundaries. Maybe yeah, one day, give it

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<v Speaker 2>ten years and they'll open it up again, hopefully videos.

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<v Speaker 2>Hopefully by then, our attention span has been circumcised, so

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<v Speaker 2>hardly circumcised.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's a word circumcised in this context.

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<v Speaker 2>You can be used in any context if you believe

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<v Speaker 2>in yourself. Hopevery by then no reason to be watching

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<v Speaker 2>the video clip because it goes so too long and

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<v Speaker 2>therefore nobody comes and.

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<v Speaker 4>It's a circle of vibe.

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<v Speaker 3>I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, genius.

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<v Speaker 4>This is flex and frooms. I listened to music on Spotify.

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<v Speaker 2>Originally I was an Apple user, back in the days

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<v Speaker 2>where there was iPods.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, yeah, of course, and back when you would like.

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<v Speaker 2>Sync your iPhone to your computer, when iCloud didn't we

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<v Speaker 2>didn't have a choice. Yeah, and it worked, Okay, it

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<v Speaker 2>was fine. Obviously I made the jump to Spotify. I

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<v Speaker 2>like the Spotify branding. I have a friend that works

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<v Speaker 2>for Spotify. It's a general good vibe. Yeah, I'm on

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<v Speaker 2>it all the time when I'm playing on my computer.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm on my computer for most of the day. That's

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<v Speaker 2>my job, and I'll always be listening to something at

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<v Speaker 2>the moment.

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<v Speaker 4>What am I listening to?

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of Our Silverchair and Daniel Jones, which is

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<v Speaker 2>the most random thing on earth.

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<v Speaker 4>Who like, It's not me.

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<v Speaker 2>It's teenage, angsty, nineties music, all the things that I

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<v Speaker 2>find quite revolting.

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<v Speaker 3>But I would say that New Daniel John's does have

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<v Speaker 3>like an R and B song or two.

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<v Speaker 4>So it's got a song or two of everything.

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<v Speaker 2>It's got ballads, it's got I saw it. One of

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<v Speaker 2>the songs described as like the start of a thriller, ooh,

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<v Speaker 2>thriller movie. It's called Reclaim Your Heart. I highly recommend. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm on Spotify and I have two people who I

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<v Speaker 2>have in the little sidebar that's like what they're listening

0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:49.760
<v Speaker 2>to right now? Do you ever use that function?

0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.840
<v Speaker 4>Not once ever? So these two people that I have.

0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:53.800
<v Speaker 4>They're not my best friends.

0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:57.760
<v Speaker 2>It's an old house housemaid of mine and a friend's boyfriend.

0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:02.680
<v Speaker 2>So random. So my housemates, I'm constantly looking just when.

0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:04.199
<v Speaker 4>Did they last? Little think what are they doing?

0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:07.640
<v Speaker 2>My friend's boyfriend lives in New York, so I'm always wondering, oh,

0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:08.920
<v Speaker 2>when did he last listen to that?

0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:12.080
<v Speaker 4>And I think, Oh, what's what's he thinking about right now? Wow?

0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:13.280
<v Speaker 4>How's he feeling right now?

0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:14.880
<v Speaker 3>What time in the day do you have for this?

0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:15.040
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.120
<v Speaker 3>It's like a split a split thought, just split thought.

0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:17.400
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:21.760
<v Speaker 2>And then my old housemate is a like director and producer,

0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:23.640
<v Speaker 2>so I check what she's She loves a bit of

0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:25.840
<v Speaker 2>R and B. But if she's like, I know, she's

0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:27.960
<v Speaker 2>working really hard when she's got the low fire Beats

0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:31.760
<v Speaker 2>style playlists popping, and it just to me, I feel

0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:33.719
<v Speaker 2>like I'm invading their privacy.

0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:35.200
<v Speaker 4>Because they probably don't know that, you know.

0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I'm worried that I've like inadvertently got it

0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:41.839
<v Speaker 2>on and people are like, what the fugees this chick

0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:42.319
<v Speaker 2>listening to?

0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:44.520
<v Speaker 4>Would you? So you don't have that on?

0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:47.400
<v Speaker 3>The only people that I have it on for is

0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:52.400
<v Speaker 3>when I used to download music from SoundCloud for DJ sets.

0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:55.840
<v Speaker 3>Usually they would make you tick a bunch of these permissions,

0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:58.720
<v Speaker 3>like all in exchange with getting this song for free,

0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:02.040
<v Speaker 3>you agree to follow us on Facebook, follow us on Spotify,

0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:03.600
<v Speaker 3>follow us on this And so I have a lot

0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:06.760
<v Speaker 3>of those people in the side tap, but nobody I

0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:08.040
<v Speaker 3>know that's cool.

0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.640
<v Speaker 4>Are they hard and fast rules or just you ought

0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:11.080
<v Speaker 4>to do this?

0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:14.000
<v Speaker 3>If you, I think it's like a it's an optional option,

0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.560
<v Speaker 3>but the way they phrase it, you think it's mandatory.

0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:17.400
<v Speaker 4>Smart.

0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 2>And I was thinking to our producer Brook about this,

0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:22.720
<v Speaker 2>and she spoke to her friend and he sent us

0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:25.640
<v Speaker 2>a voice note about his experience with listening to Let's

0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:27.280
<v Speaker 2>take a listen.

0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:30.959
<v Speaker 1>Hey, Flexen Frooms. I was just thinking about Spotify and

0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.840
<v Speaker 1>one of my mates he has his Spotify list so

0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.200
<v Speaker 1>you can see what songs he's listening to, and generally

0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:38.839
<v Speaker 1>he listens to kind of energetic, upbeat music, and I

0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:42.160
<v Speaker 1>noticed that his taste had changed into a lot more

0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.960
<v Speaker 1>saddow style of music. So I reached out to him

0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:46.880
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, hey, man, how's everything going. Is

0:12:46.880 --> 0:12:48.720
<v Speaker 1>everything all right? And it turned out he was going

0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.160
<v Speaker 1>through a bit of a tough time and I was

0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.120
<v Speaker 1>able to kind of figure that out, just because I

0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.319
<v Speaker 1>knew him really well and I knew his music taste

0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.040
<v Speaker 1>had kind of changed, so that was really interesting. So

0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:58.920
<v Speaker 1>I tried it a few more times, and there was

0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:01.520
<v Speaker 1>kind of like a fifty fifty success rate because sometimes

0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:05.880
<v Speaker 1>some people would just suddenly start liking Bonivu and that's

0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:07.760
<v Speaker 1>cool too, but sometimes they would be going through a

0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:09.840
<v Speaker 1>tough time, so I was able to kind of kind of,

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, help them a little bit, I think maybe.

0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:14.840
<v Speaker 1>But other times they were just listening to Sadow music

0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.080
<v Speaker 1>for no particular reason other than they kind of liked it.

0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.960
<v Speaker 4>I love that. It's like a mental health check, but lyrical.

0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:24.360
<v Speaker 3>See I'm the opposite. Oh, I'm like, you're being presumptuous.

0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:27.520
<v Speaker 3>Are you sticking your neck in something about like because

0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:31.000
<v Speaker 3>my song of choice is oh, my listening of choice

0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:34.440
<v Speaker 3>at home will either be like sad music just because

0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.600
<v Speaker 3>I find it. To me, it can feel more neutral

0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 3>than an upbeat song, like sometimes really high upbeat songs

0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:42.920
<v Speaker 3>like Noise to me, where I'm like I just need

0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.520
<v Speaker 3>to vibe. But if for some reason, someone that I

0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:48.480
<v Speaker 3>wasn't that close with who just had access to my

0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:52.600
<v Speaker 3>listening was like, hey, just checking in, like go away

0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:55.720
<v Speaker 3>or is this stop leave me alone?

0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.400
<v Speaker 2>I think if you have the feature on on purpose,

0:13:58.640 --> 0:13:59.800
<v Speaker 2>it's like a cry for help.

0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but we didn't even know it, Like, we didn't

0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.720
<v Speaker 3>even know how we got access to these things.

0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:06.520
<v Speaker 4>Well, you may as well ask.

0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:09.000
<v Speaker 2>It's better to ask if you're worried about somebody's mental

0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:09.800
<v Speaker 2>health and just let us.

0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:12.480
<v Speaker 3>Of course, definitely better to ask. But as he said,

0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:16.560
<v Speaker 3>fifty percent success, right, you're making me mentally unwell by

0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:17.200
<v Speaker 3>checking in.

0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:20.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're It's a self fulfilling prophecy to your silverchair.

0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:22.320
<v Speaker 3>Don't want to rush you off this topic, but I

0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:24.640
<v Speaker 3>do want to tell you about my favorite Spotify feature.

0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:28.200
<v Speaker 3>It's a new one. It's called Enhance. And so what

0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.360
<v Speaker 3>you do is you go into your like songs, you

0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:32.640
<v Speaker 3>click in hands and what it'll do, it'll serve you

0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:36.440
<v Speaker 3>new music in and between your current music that matches

0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:37.000
<v Speaker 3>the genre.

0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:38.720
<v Speaker 4>Whoa, because if.

0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:41.160
<v Speaker 3>You're like me, I don't get out of my liked music.

0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 3>I just listen to the same songs on repeat, and

0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.480
<v Speaker 3>then every now and then when I'm adding a new song,

0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:48.240
<v Speaker 3>that'll be a bit of flavor. So let's say I have,

0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:53.080
<v Speaker 3>for example, a Drake song followed by a fall Out

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.680
<v Speaker 3>Boys song, and it'll insert a new song in between

0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:58.400
<v Speaker 3>that is a merge of those genres.

0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:02.160
<v Speaker 4>What would that be, pink Panthers? I think it would

0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:08.000
<v Speaker 4>be Juice World. Oh okay, Juice World. Cool. Yeah.

0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:11.800
<v Speaker 2>For me, my music taste is eclectic. The thing that

0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:15.080
<v Speaker 2>binds all of the songs that I like together is the.

0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 4>Melody and the bridge. I love a bridge. I live

0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:18.360
<v Speaker 4>for the bridge.

0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm just kind of like a running up a hill,

0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.080
<v Speaker 2>just getting through the whole start of the song. Then

0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:24.880
<v Speaker 2>you saw with the bridge, and then you fall down

0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:26.160
<v Speaker 2>to earth and you're got to think, what am I

0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:26.960
<v Speaker 2>listen to next?

0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:29.640
<v Speaker 4>I love that this is flex and frooms.

0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:35.520
<v Speaker 3>Whenever I see a interesting TikTok my first point of call.

0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.040
<v Speaker 3>We're usually sharing it on Instagram, but I find that

0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:41.320
<v Speaker 3>it starts a whole kettle of conversation. I don't want

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.600
<v Speaker 3>to facilitate, you know as the back and the fourth

0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:45.600
<v Speaker 3>and like no, no, no, no, I don't want to do it.

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:47.760
<v Speaker 3>And so now this is my new outlet because it's

0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:49.720
<v Speaker 3>just us and we can like shut it down really

0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:52.120
<v Speaker 3>quickly and move on. So I came across this video

0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:55.400
<v Speaker 3>called how to become less critical of others, which very

0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:58.800
<v Speaker 3>interested by because I think it's really avoidable. We're in

0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.480
<v Speaker 3>a society that's in to have opinions about a lot

0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.320
<v Speaker 3>of stuff, and with opinions comes critique often, bro.

0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.800
<v Speaker 4>That's my struggle of taking this job, having.

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:09.800
<v Speaker 3>To have thoughts, yeah, and having to know what you

0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:10.960
<v Speaker 3>think about stuff.

0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:13.920
<v Speaker 4>It's very complicated. I used to say that I wouldn't.

0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:17.120
<v Speaker 3>I didn't have a lot of thoughts before working in

0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:21.520
<v Speaker 3>media because it wasn't a priority. This is a vibe

0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:24.400
<v Speaker 3>now I can't find thoughts every day. Listen to this video.

0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 5>I'm going to teach you how to become less critical

0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:28.600
<v Speaker 5>and judgmental of others.

0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:30.800
<v Speaker 4>No, no, no, you do want to. You think you

0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:31.920
<v Speaker 4>don't want to, You do want to?

0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:36.400
<v Speaker 5>Okay, So I learned this on a podcast episode. Basically,

0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:38.640
<v Speaker 5>when you get a critical, judgmental thought.

0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.760
<v Speaker 4>Of someone, you say just like me. So you're like, oh,

0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:42.200
<v Speaker 4>they're so.

0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.040
<v Speaker 3>Annoying, and then you say just like me.

0:16:44.520 --> 0:16:47.920
<v Speaker 5>And this removes our positional thinking because often we are

0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:50.760
<v Speaker 5>most treated by something that we do recognize in ourselves.

0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:53.120
<v Speaker 5>Of course, I'm not talking about bigotry or anything like that,

0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:55.920
<v Speaker 5>but I am talking about Let's say someone is always

0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:58.080
<v Speaker 5>complaining and you're like, oh, this person's always.

0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:00.560
<v Speaker 4>Complaining, what are you doing this? What are you doing.

0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:01.200
<v Speaker 1>Just like me?

0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:02.240
<v Speaker 4>You know what I mean?

0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:05.600
<v Speaker 5>If you learn to see how you are actually similar

0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:08.959
<v Speaker 5>to other beings, I think that removes the idea, the

0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:09.879
<v Speaker 5>notion that you.

0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.440
<v Speaker 4>Live in conflict with others.

0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:13.919
<v Speaker 5>That is the ego. The ego is always looking to

0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:17.040
<v Speaker 5>assert its dominance over other human beings, and so in

0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.960
<v Speaker 5>order to live and live in kindness with others, you

0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:23.400
<v Speaker 5>use just like me to remove the criticism. And if

0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.480
<v Speaker 5>you were on the other end of that criticism, you

0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:28.040
<v Speaker 5>would want someone to understand and to empathize with the

0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.280
<v Speaker 5>fact that you're just a human being and you are flawed.

0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:35.520
<v Speaker 4>Did that hit just like me? Yeah? Very simple?

0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:36.280
<v Speaker 3>Right?

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:42.359
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, who is that person? This person's name is?

0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:48.560
<v Speaker 3>I understood, I understood. It's like a punt aya and

0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:49.800
<v Speaker 3>da stood.

0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:50.639
<v Speaker 4>Cool.

0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:56.120
<v Speaker 3>I love that it really resonated straight away, because I remember,

0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:59.000
<v Speaker 3>I would say, maybe two years ago now, somewhere during

0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:03.840
<v Speaker 3>COVID came across this video that said that the easiest

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:08.240
<v Speaker 3>way to resolve conflict is to expect that fifty percent

0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:09.240
<v Speaker 3>of it is your fault at.

0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:10.879
<v Speaker 4>Any given time, that was revolutionary.

0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:13.120
<v Speaker 3>So you know, when you're like that person so annoying,

0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:15.240
<v Speaker 3>they never do this, never do that. It's okay, cool

0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:17.960
<v Speaker 3>now which bit is your fault? So you can cop

0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.240
<v Speaker 3>that and at least half of that stress is alleviated

0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:22.880
<v Speaker 3>off you. And it really does work because it makes

0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:25.560
<v Speaker 3>you a problem solve or ale and a troubleshooter as

0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:28.920
<v Speaker 3>well to be like, Okay, if this conflict isn't completely avoidable,

0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:31.919
<v Speaker 3>which part can I take ownership for? And then at

0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.600
<v Speaker 3>least in that vein, I feel comfortable with it. What

0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:35.280
<v Speaker 3>do you think about that?

0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:37.520
<v Speaker 2>For me? So things that annoying me, I'm going to

0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:39.320
<v Speaker 2>try and think of things that annoy me straight off

0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:42.120
<v Speaker 2>the bat, just regardless of whether or not I think

0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:45.800
<v Speaker 2>I do them. Not cleaning up the bench after I

0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:49.800
<v Speaker 2>eat something, just like me, I get what that is

0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:52.320
<v Speaker 2>trying to do, because I definitely agree that the things

0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 2>that you find the most annoying things that you do.

0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:56.760
<v Speaker 2>For example, for the longest time, my sister and I

0:18:56.800 --> 0:19:02.240
<v Speaker 2>were butting heads forever, since we were three years old, fighting, fighting, fighting,

0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.879
<v Speaker 2>and it wasn't until I think, like something that I

0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:08.800
<v Speaker 2>went through for the last year is becoming more accepting

0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:11.320
<v Speaker 2>of people because I've started accepting myself.

0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:14.760
<v Speaker 4>So for many years I didn't accept myself. But I didn't.

0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:16.040
<v Speaker 4>I couldn't figure out.

0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:17.639
<v Speaker 2>Why that was because in my mind, I thought I

0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:20.720
<v Speaker 2>was amazing, like I have this enormous ego. I think

0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:25.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing things perfectly and correctly, but actually was being

0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:28.080
<v Speaker 2>very hard on myself. And therefore that's why I was

0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:30.240
<v Speaker 2>hard on my sister, for example, because she would do

0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:33.800
<v Speaker 2>things that I thought were like lazy, or she wasn't

0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.000
<v Speaker 2>doing this, she wasn't doing that, she was messy, so

0:19:36.040 --> 0:19:38.560
<v Speaker 2>I thought, oh, I couldn't relate to her. And it's

0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:41.640
<v Speaker 2>probably because a big part of me was like that

0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.679
<v Speaker 2>nature wise, like I'm actually born to be sort of

0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:50.600
<v Speaker 2>like a careless, carefree social person. But I'd shut that

0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:52.239
<v Speaker 2>part of me off, and I think because I was

0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:54.800
<v Speaker 2>not allowing that part of myself, anyone else that was

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:59.199
<v Speaker 2>doing it would really piss me off. So now that

0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:02.159
<v Speaker 2>I see parts of myself that I saw in my sister,

0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:05.760
<v Speaker 2>it's given me a complete one eighty because I'm like,

0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:08.160
<v Speaker 2>how was I so critical of her this whole time

0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.320
<v Speaker 2>when I'm probably even a worse version of the things

0:20:11.359 --> 0:20:15.120
<v Speaker 2>that she does, And that's not annoying, like, for example,

0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:18.640
<v Speaker 2>her voice would annoy me. And then I can.

0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:22.840
<v Speaker 3>You play a voice just like you that's exactly like.

0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:26.920
<v Speaker 4>The way that you speak, your cadence, your phrases, Like you.

0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:33.040
<v Speaker 3>Could play that voice saying that must have been wild.

0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:35.800
<v Speaker 2>So it's it's a very revolutionary thing to do to

0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:39.960
<v Speaker 2>be able to see something that someone does it's very annoying.

0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:43.239
<v Speaker 2>It's very hard to accept that you do annoying things too.

0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:50.360
<v Speaker 2>I find that that's like the last fun frontier of evolution.

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, for sure, it's a tricky thing. I had a

0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:55.119
<v Speaker 3>similar experience, and it's awsome you were able to come

0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:59.680
<v Speaker 3>to that conclusion. That's like self awareness on on one foul.

0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:01.000
<v Speaker 4>Very very very very.

0:21:02.960 --> 0:21:05.560
<v Speaker 2>The thing about self awareness that I feel sometimes isn't

0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:08.680
<v Speaker 2>spoken about is that it completely shifts your idea and

0:21:08.720 --> 0:21:10.480
<v Speaker 2>you can get a lot of guilt, Yeah, and self

0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:12.680
<v Speaker 2>awareness because you think back to things and you get

0:21:12.720 --> 0:21:14.439
<v Speaker 2>embarrassed that you didn't do it like that always but

0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:16.480
<v Speaker 2>part of the journey.

0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:20.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I like that though. I've been finding that I'm

0:21:20.880 --> 0:21:23.560
<v Speaker 3>obviously I was like a nonfiction self development girly, but

0:21:23.600 --> 0:21:25.440
<v Speaker 3>I found a lot of it to be quite conceptual

0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:27.120
<v Speaker 3>and im practical for day to day to day to day,

0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:28.640
<v Speaker 3>but I want to know how to be a better

0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:34.880
<v Speaker 3>person for real life, not for academic conversation. And so similarly,

0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:36.080
<v Speaker 3>I used to have this thing where I used to

0:21:36.119 --> 0:21:39.280
<v Speaker 3>get really frustrated at people who wouldn't assert themselves and

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:41.800
<v Speaker 3>speak up for themselves when I used to come to

0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:43.439
<v Speaker 3>find out, I hate that I have to do that

0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:46.679
<v Speaker 3>for myself. I hate that I can't just exist without

0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.960
<v Speaker 3>having to have my backup or like speak on behalf

0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:52.520
<v Speaker 3>of myself on behalf of other people. And so I

0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:55.000
<v Speaker 3>would resent people who just like walk around in the

0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:59.800
<v Speaker 3>world without a care, no judgment with and nobody would

0:21:59.760 --> 0:22:03.840
<v Speaker 3>have have any expectations on them, or who could easily

0:22:03.880 --> 0:22:06.640
<v Speaker 3>take like the damsel route in conflict, or who could

0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:09.200
<v Speaker 3>cry their way out of something, or who people would

0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.080
<v Speaker 3>perceive to be like soft and needing of care and

0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:14.840
<v Speaker 3>comfort as opposed to being like, oh, she's got it,

0:22:14.880 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 3>like she'll handle it. So then I started projecting me like, well,

0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:19.360
<v Speaker 3>everybody else has to handle it, because if I got

0:22:19.359 --> 0:22:21.639
<v Speaker 3>to handle it, you got to handle it. We can't

0:22:21.680 --> 0:22:25.040
<v Speaker 3>both be not handling it and we can't both handle it.

0:22:25.080 --> 0:22:27.840
<v Speaker 2>And you think it's unfair that you have so unfair

0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:31.600
<v Speaker 2>how you are with how are you with that? Now?

0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:34.240
<v Speaker 3>I think it's like an over correction because part of

0:22:34.280 --> 0:22:36.840
<v Speaker 3>me then goes into like extra sympathizing and I'm like, well,

0:22:36.840 --> 0:22:38.680
<v Speaker 3>not everyone can handle it, and everyone can be a

0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:41.880
<v Speaker 3>frontline warrior babe, like it's a gift that you can

0:22:41.920 --> 0:22:43.879
<v Speaker 3>do that. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no no,

0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:47.120
<v Speaker 3>that's like that's the overcorrection again. So I battle between

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:50.800
<v Speaker 3>it because I think that balance is necessary, and I

0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:52.919
<v Speaker 3>don't do really well at balance. So I try and

0:22:52.960 --> 0:22:58.160
<v Speaker 3>find the balance between letting people know that I can

0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:02.280
<v Speaker 3>be frontline warrior, but also so letting people deal with

0:23:02.280 --> 0:23:05.719
<v Speaker 3>their own shit on their own and have no expectation

0:23:05.800 --> 0:23:07.879
<v Speaker 3>that I will be there to help them, because I

0:23:07.920 --> 0:23:10.159
<v Speaker 3>also was finding that I was doing a lot of

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:13.440
<v Speaker 3>helping in a way that was hurting me and not

0:23:13.520 --> 0:23:16.480
<v Speaker 3>receiving like the care I needed once I had helped someone,

0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:18.880
<v Speaker 3>you know what I'm saying. So if someone's like, oh,

0:23:18.920 --> 0:23:20.200
<v Speaker 3>can you defend my honor?

0:23:20.480 --> 0:23:20.800
<v Speaker 4>Whatever?

0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:24.600
<v Speaker 3>That might be like, hey, flexis person's done something really racist,

0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:27.600
<v Speaker 3>can you xyz? So then I'll go fight this battle

0:23:27.640 --> 0:23:32.160
<v Speaker 3>for this person. They'll feel really empowered. Now I'm getting abuse. Yeah, facts,

0:23:32.320 --> 0:23:33.520
<v Speaker 3>like what is the balance?

0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 2>It is very hard though, when you are a strong

0:23:37.880 --> 0:23:40.760
<v Speaker 2>person that makes a point of doing things their own,

0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:43.280
<v Speaker 2>Like I think sometimes people look at you and think,

0:23:43.600 --> 0:23:46.239
<v Speaker 2>she's like a woman so inspirational doing her own thing,

0:23:46.240 --> 0:23:49.080
<v Speaker 2>when you're just actually being yourself, and when that kind

0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:51.120
<v Speaker 2>of image is projected onto you, then it is very

0:23:51.119 --> 0:23:53.959
<v Speaker 2>hard for people to feel like they can help you.

0:23:54.560 --> 0:23:57.640
<v Speaker 2>I think as well, because you are happy to kind

0:23:57.640 --> 0:23:59.600
<v Speaker 2>of point things.

0:23:59.359 --> 0:24:00.199
<v Speaker 4>Out that people do.

0:24:01.119 --> 0:24:03.560
<v Speaker 2>Maybe like people worry to help you because they're worried

0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:04.399
<v Speaker 2>about doing the wrong thing.

0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:07.560
<v Speaker 3>Of course, it goes both ways. That's that's the balance though.

0:24:07.600 --> 0:24:10.520
<v Speaker 3>It's like everything and the fifty of all the conflict

0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:13.520
<v Speaker 3>is yours, Like what do you do? What behaviors have

0:24:13.600 --> 0:24:17.040
<v Speaker 3>you expressed that would contribute to this thing that is

0:24:17.080 --> 0:24:19.040
<v Speaker 3>frustrating you so much? I'm like, oh I did this.

0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:21.840
<v Speaker 3>I'm an alchemist baby, Yeah.

0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:22.879
<v Speaker 4>I like that term.

0:24:23.160 --> 0:24:25.880
<v Speaker 2>It reminds me of which making a potion that has

0:24:25.960 --> 0:24:33.119
<v Speaker 2>some not anthetamines parased moolgon alchymists also and the potions

0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:35.280
<v Speaker 2>of different colors and seeing purple, I saw.

0:24:35.119 --> 0:24:37.520
<v Speaker 3>Green but same bye, Like, yeah, we gotta talk about

0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:38.760
<v Speaker 3>the green and purple paradox as well.

0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:42.240
<v Speaker 4>Anyway, we'll talk about it in another podcast. You're listening

0:24:42.359 --> 0:24:45.520
<v Speaker 4>to Flex and Frooms on Ka. So, for me is

0:24:45.520 --> 0:24:46.360
<v Speaker 4>a big fan of be Real.

0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:49.159
<v Speaker 3>It's a new social media app that is meant to

0:24:49.240 --> 0:24:52.360
<v Speaker 3>kind of be the antidote to current social media platforms.

0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:58.280
<v Speaker 3>If what we have now is curated, maybe a bit superficial, exclusive,

0:24:58.520 --> 0:25:02.520
<v Speaker 3>be real is meant to be inclusive, if you know, honest, candid, light,

0:25:02.920 --> 0:25:04.320
<v Speaker 3>fun for everyone.

0:25:04.560 --> 0:25:04.800
<v Speaker 4>Right.

0:25:05.240 --> 0:25:08.199
<v Speaker 3>I get that in theory makes heaps of sense to me.

0:25:08.800 --> 0:25:13.159
<v Speaker 3>In practice, though, I honestly think that be Real is

0:25:13.240 --> 0:25:16.399
<v Speaker 3>just doing what every other social media was claiming to

0:25:16.440 --> 0:25:20.480
<v Speaker 3>do when Instagram came out. Right, Instagram did not say

0:25:20.720 --> 0:25:23.720
<v Speaker 3>where a curated platform. You know that it is meant

0:25:23.760 --> 0:25:28.640
<v Speaker 3>to be sophisticated and refined and beautiful. It was meant

0:25:28.680 --> 0:25:31.040
<v Speaker 3>to be a place to share images with your friends

0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:33.760
<v Speaker 3>and family about what you're doing. It was meant to

0:25:33.760 --> 0:25:36.720
<v Speaker 3>be honest, it was meant to be candid, similarly to TikTok.

0:25:36.960 --> 0:25:39.520
<v Speaker 3>What we love about it, or loved is that it

0:25:39.640 --> 0:25:43.160
<v Speaker 3>was a place where we saw real people doing real things,

0:25:43.960 --> 0:25:49.240
<v Speaker 3>and naturally, as places evolve on the Internet, people develop

0:25:49.400 --> 0:25:52.600
<v Speaker 3>their own system of success for how to use that platform,

0:25:52.880 --> 0:25:55.720
<v Speaker 3>and then it gets competitive. I would say the one

0:25:55.720 --> 0:25:57.840
<v Speaker 3>thing I've noticed with people who use be reals, They're

0:25:57.840 --> 0:26:00.680
<v Speaker 3>constantly saying, I hope I'm somewhere cool and the notification

0:26:00.800 --> 0:26:03.560
<v Speaker 3>comes so I can do my be real. Like, do

0:26:03.560 --> 0:26:06.080
<v Speaker 3>you not see what's happening here? You are taking the

0:26:06.160 --> 0:26:09.879
<v Speaker 3>same behaviors and the same attitudes that you use for

0:26:10.000 --> 0:26:12.879
<v Speaker 3>every other social media platform, and you're bringing it into

0:26:12.960 --> 0:26:17.000
<v Speaker 3>this space just so in a year's time you can say, well,

0:26:17.040 --> 0:26:19.000
<v Speaker 3>this app is toxic and I don't feel like I

0:26:19.000 --> 0:26:20.879
<v Speaker 3>can be myself here and I feel like it's an

0:26:20.880 --> 0:26:23.400
<v Speaker 3>honest representation, And like, do you think be Real's dead?

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:23.680
<v Speaker 4>Now?

0:26:23.720 --> 0:26:25.679
<v Speaker 3>Do you think everyone's doing this and that it's the

0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:29.720
<v Speaker 3>same thing. Like the fact of the matter is, it's

0:26:29.760 --> 0:26:33.280
<v Speaker 3>not ever just the app's fault. We are the some

0:26:33.600 --> 0:26:36.160
<v Speaker 3>of what the app turns into because the apps don't

0:26:36.200 --> 0:26:38.720
<v Speaker 3>come with rules, they come with guidelines, and then we

0:26:38.800 --> 0:26:41.080
<v Speaker 3>decide how we're going to use them, and then we

0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:42.600
<v Speaker 3>make them an insufferable place.

0:26:43.840 --> 0:26:46.200
<v Speaker 2>I think the issue is always going to arise since

0:26:46.280 --> 0:26:49.200
<v Speaker 2>the moment that we started to consider how people see

0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:53.000
<v Speaker 2>us and be able to put statistics to that. So

0:26:53.040 --> 0:26:55.840
<v Speaker 2>I think despite the fact that a lot of people say, oh,

0:26:55.880 --> 0:26:58.920
<v Speaker 2>social media makes us too aware of how we're perceived,

0:26:58.960 --> 0:27:01.760
<v Speaker 2>it like heightens the idea that we're thinking about how

0:27:01.760 --> 0:27:03.760
<v Speaker 2>people perceive us. I think we always have done that.

0:27:03.800 --> 0:27:05.640
<v Speaker 2>It's like keeping up with the Jones of Style South.

0:27:05.640 --> 0:27:07.879
<v Speaker 2>We're always worried about how people see us, and I

0:27:07.880 --> 0:27:13.560
<v Speaker 2>think there's like a biological reason for that, sure the pack.

0:27:13.560 --> 0:27:16.000
<v Speaker 3>And because we know how social media works, we understand

0:27:16.040 --> 0:27:19.879
<v Speaker 3>that intrinsically, like we're meant to publish and receive feedback

0:27:19.920 --> 0:27:22.040
<v Speaker 3>on what we publish, and whether that's in the form

0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:25.399
<v Speaker 3>of something quantitative that you can measure like a like

0:27:25.440 --> 0:27:28.320
<v Speaker 3>a share, a comment, or qualitative like the way you

0:27:28.400 --> 0:27:30.800
<v Speaker 3>feel after you post. There's always going to be an

0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:34.399
<v Speaker 3>expectation of some kind of return on investment in some

0:27:34.520 --> 0:27:38.200
<v Speaker 3>way that stops it from being really quote unquote genuine

0:27:38.680 --> 0:27:41.120
<v Speaker 3>or honest, like in the sense or if I'm at

0:27:41.119 --> 0:27:43.119
<v Speaker 3>home and I'm going to like journal how I feel.

0:27:43.160 --> 0:27:45.960
<v Speaker 3>That's my way of documenting to myself what I'm going through.

0:27:46.280 --> 0:27:48.000
<v Speaker 3>Because nobody can see it, I'm going to be a

0:27:48.080 --> 0:27:51.040
<v Speaker 3>bit reckless with it. I might not type in full sentences.

0:27:51.080 --> 0:27:53.840
<v Speaker 3>I might not write a cohesive thought because only I'm

0:27:53.880 --> 0:27:56.280
<v Speaker 3>gonna see this, It doesn't really matter. But as soon

0:27:56.280 --> 0:27:59.479
<v Speaker 3>as we know there's an audience, we start to you know,

0:27:59.560 --> 0:28:01.800
<v Speaker 3>look a bit cute, I stand a bit straighter, be

0:28:01.880 --> 0:28:03.280
<v Speaker 3>mindful of where it's going.

0:28:03.440 --> 0:28:05.199
<v Speaker 4>I'm doing this. I'm sticking my neck out and doing

0:28:05.240 --> 0:28:05.720
<v Speaker 4>a little piece.

0:28:05.920 --> 0:28:07.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's all something.

0:28:08.520 --> 0:28:09.480
<v Speaker 4>So I'm just waiting.

0:28:10.320 --> 0:28:12.159
<v Speaker 3>I think I will continue to give it a go

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:14.800
<v Speaker 3>because I like social media. I like the Internet. I

0:28:14.920 --> 0:28:18.960
<v Speaker 3>like the communities that it creates. But I'm putting this

0:28:19.040 --> 0:28:20.679
<v Speaker 3>on record so we can look back on it in

0:28:20.720 --> 0:28:23.240
<v Speaker 3>a couple of months time to be like how did

0:28:23.240 --> 0:28:26.919
<v Speaker 3>it start and what is it devolved into or like,

0:28:27.080 --> 0:28:28.240
<v Speaker 3>you know, progressed into.

0:28:28.800 --> 0:28:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm very interested about how this app is going to

0:28:31.280 --> 0:28:34.080
<v Speaker 2>make money. I feel like most endeavors want to make money.

0:28:34.119 --> 0:28:36.199
<v Speaker 2>And imagine, like if I was a tech someon who

0:28:36.280 --> 0:28:39.440
<v Speaker 2>created tech that became really popular, I'd be kicking myself

0:28:39.480 --> 0:28:41.200
<v Speaker 2>if I didn't already put ads in it from.

0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:42.840
<v Speaker 4>The first place, hundred percent, Like when are we going

0:28:42.920 --> 0:28:43.840
<v Speaker 4>to get ads on? Be real?

0:28:44.000 --> 0:28:46.080
<v Speaker 3>But you know what they say, if it's for free,

0:28:46.160 --> 0:28:48.320
<v Speaker 3>you are the product that.

0:28:48.400 --> 0:28:50.360
<v Speaker 2>Changed my life. I want to talk more about be

0:28:50.480 --> 0:28:53.120
<v Speaker 2>Real maybe later in the week. Sure, I want to

0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:55.040
<v Speaker 2>talk about like who you actually accept on your burrial,

0:28:55.080 --> 0:28:56.120
<v Speaker 2>because I think that's red hot.

0:28:57.000 --> 0:28:59.560
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to the Flegs and Frooms daily podcast.

0:29:00.320 --> 0:29:03.800
<v Speaker 5>Tune need de Kater on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.