Speaker 1: The flexen Rooms Daily Podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, sweet Angels and little tiny gremlins living under a bridge.
Speaker 2: This is the Flexing Froom's podcast. When I say little
Speaker 2: gremlins hanging out under the bridge, can I just tell
Speaker 2: you who I see down there? Brook, our producer, oh farting, burping,
Speaker 2: eating liquids because she has a saw.
Speaker 3: Hummy Brook can't get a break, not on this podcast.
Speaker 4: You are bridge adjacent.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're on top of the bridge making deals, but
Speaker 2: your pure self is under the bridge like a gremlin,
Speaker 2: split split gremlin personality.
Speaker 4: That's the other one. Sweety pie, sweet Angel.
Speaker 3: Sweety pie, sweet angels, gremlins, goblins.
Speaker 2: I'm a sweety pie angel. I don't need to explain
Speaker 2: why with.
Speaker 3: A goblin cusp for sure. Grinch rising.
Speaker 2: Anyway, this is extremely irrelevant because it's completely relevant.
Speaker 3: I don't think people would recognize the greens rising in you.
Speaker 3: They don't know you're a hater, babe, really no, don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, this is why we have the sement called life
Speaker 2: of a Karen, trying to just put it into the open.
Speaker 2: So when a big public blow up comes out and
Speaker 2: I'm shown as a gremlin, it's like I told you
Speaker 2: the whole way along.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we've got citations.
Speaker 2: Today we are talking about a method that you can
Speaker 2: use to become less judgmental of people. It's a two
Speaker 2: word method, so it's quite applicable to your life straight away.
Speaker 4: Three as do I.
Speaker 2: I won't give it away. I won't give it away.
Speaker 2: Let's just get into it.
Speaker 4: You're inflexing rooms, flex and frooms.
Speaker 2: The other day we were talking about ix erks and
Speaker 2: red flags. These are terms that have come to prominence,
Speaker 2: i'd say in the last three years.
Speaker 4: Definitely. I think we've had a lot.
Speaker 2: Of time inside and I think we're getting to the
Speaker 2: point people, especially at our age, they have clocked the apps.
Speaker 2: They was on the final level of the apps, and
Speaker 2: if they're still single, they're freaking out a little bit,
Speaker 2: and they're trying to code what it's like when people
Speaker 2: don't really hit. No longer to someone just not hit
Speaker 2: because they're not the person for you. They don't hit
Speaker 2: because they're irking you. Yes, they're eching you. Yeah, they're
Speaker 2: giving you the IK the young or a red flag.
Speaker 2: Something about them is wrong because you can't face the
Speaker 2: fact that something about you is wrong. Oh, I love
Speaker 2: you have had some feelings today, I came ready to fight.
Speaker 2: So what I've done is I've gone onto the Internet
Speaker 2: and tried to find a definitive definition for each of
Speaker 2: these terms.
Speaker 3: Because we need it at this point. I think we
Speaker 3: people society have been talking in circles about what should
Speaker 3: be quite a simple topic to understand, and I think
Speaker 3: using like this ambiguous language is making it sound more
Speaker 3: complicated than it needs to.
Speaker 2: I have gone onto Merriam Webster. Okay, And for erk
Speaker 2: is a word that's been around prior to dating. Yes,
Speaker 2: whereas eke and red flag have kind of been co
Speaker 2: opted by the dating movement, but this one has always
Speaker 2: been around.
Speaker 3: The dating agenda.
Speaker 2: Erk definition of erk to make wary, irritated, or bored.
Speaker 2: And then erk as a noun.
Speaker 3: That's all a lot wherey, irritated or bored. Those are
Speaker 3: three very distinct feelings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, true, where he is you're getting torn down, you're
Speaker 2: getting chipped away, irritated is it's like itchy, like you're
Speaker 2: getting angry, and bored is general malays empathetic. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: then that's as a verb and then as a noun,
Speaker 2: which I honestly don't know the difference. You lost to
Speaker 2: me it annoys me because I'm a writer. I've never
Speaker 2: understood it. Yeah, I don't know how to where to
Speaker 2: put commas anyway, I'm just getting treated you.
Speaker 3: I can talk a lot in one sentence. I don't
Speaker 3: need a comma.
Speaker 2: Bab Erk as a noun, is the fact of being
Speaker 2: annoying or a source of annoyance?
Speaker 3: I get it, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: Then what is the ick?
Speaker 2: This is uni s q e U dot au, so
Speaker 2: it's some sort of university.
Speaker 4: It's not in the in the dition, but official.
Speaker 2: The ick much discussed on TikTok and Instagram. Mainely, is
Speaker 2: there attraction to a current or potential partner suddenly flipped
Speaker 2: and as feeling of disgust. Then I went to Urban
Speaker 2: Dictionary to back it up its references. You could be
Speaker 2: on the Chirpsy with a guy or girl. Everything seems
Speaker 2: to be going fine on the chirpsy Chirpsy. I don't
Speaker 2: know that I like that, Oh like chatting? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's cool. You think you like them, but then you
Speaker 2: suddenly catch the eck. From then on you just can't
Speaker 2: look at the person in the same way. You just
Speaker 2: progressively get more and more turned off. By them weirdly
Speaker 2: and maybe for no reason in particular grossed out by them.
Speaker 4: You'll cringe at the.
Speaker 2: Thought of you and them together. Nothing will be the same,
Speaker 2: you won't be able to do any longer, and eventually
Speaker 2: you'll have to.
Speaker 4: Cut it off. Yeah, that seems realistic.
Speaker 2: The ick is interesting to me. When you can't quite
Speaker 2: put your finger on it, it means a subconscious nose.
Speaker 3: The ick is trusting your most honest response to something,
Speaker 3: even if it's juvenile, unfounded, it's there. And the further
Speaker 3: you get away from the eck is when you try
Speaker 3: and like conceptualize what cannot be explained.
Speaker 2: Then red flag, the definition on the Dictionary Oxford Languages
Speaker 2: is a red flag is the symbol of the Socialist revolution.
Speaker 4: Okay, red flag is used as a warning of danger,
Speaker 4: which feels a.
Speaker 3: Bit oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And then red flag as a transistive verb is to
Speaker 2: identify or draw attention to a problem or an issue
Speaker 2: to be dealt with. And then they actually have a
Speaker 2: definition the Merriam Webster relating to dating, they say, we met,
Speaker 2: we got along great, and I Spike Lee told her,
Speaker 2: not only do I want to work with the actors,
Speaker 2: but I want you to look at this script. I'm
Speaker 2: a man, and I know there's going to be stuff
Speaker 2: in there that's strictly from a male viewpoint. I want
Speaker 2: to red flag that stuff. I want you to red
Speaker 2: flag that stuff.
Speaker 3: Okay, So what we can understand is that not all
Speaker 3: x are red.
Speaker 2: Flags, and not all erks are ix and ix erks.
Speaker 3: But most red flags can also be ix as well.
Speaker 3: I don't agree with that. I think red flags and
Speaker 3: nicks are completely different.
Speaker 2: There's no overlap, no wow, because to me, a red
Speaker 2: flag is something that is rooted in morals and logic.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Can I give you an example? Yeah? Please?
Speaker 2: Okay, they smell all the time. They don't wear deodorant.
Speaker 2: I think the vast majority of people would find that
Speaker 2: gross and not acceptable to smell.
Speaker 4: So what is that for you? That's a red flag?
Speaker 3: Oh, it's a red flag.
Speaker 2: Whereas an equality, they use a deodorant that I don't like.
Speaker 2: Do you have one that you don't like, natural diodor.
Speaker 2: We've spoken about this at length. Actually, rather just smell
Speaker 2: your pits and natural deodorant.
Speaker 4: Anyway, Flex and frooms.
Speaker 3: FLEXI, how are you feeling feeling good? Feeling great? I
Speaker 3: am trying to suppress a coughing fit so badly. I
Speaker 3: really don't want to do it. It's like, you know,
Speaker 3: it's tickling the tonsils.
Speaker 4: It's there, it's waiting ill.
Speaker 3: I have some bad news though, and I hate to
Speaker 3: start on a somber note, but I want to know
Speaker 3: if you knew about this. Iceland hates Justin Bieber. What
Speaker 3: broad stokes. I want to say that's maybe like an
Speaker 3: over exaggeration, but I don't think it is. So basically,
Speaker 3: Justin Bieber has this track called I'll Show You. I'm
Speaker 3: not sure if you know it, but it's a very
Speaker 3: like Ballady end of high school musical triumph scene.
Speaker 4: What year did he release it? I want to say
Speaker 4: like twenty eighteen.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, recent enough, very triumph fent type of vibe.
Speaker 3: But he filmed that music video in Iceland in this
Speaker 3: really beautiful remote location. Imagine like a lot of canyons,
Speaker 3: moss waterfalls, think like tropical vibes, but wintery cool, very
Speaker 3: beautiful and very lush. But the thing about this location,
Speaker 3: it was quite a deep cut. It wasn't your grand canyon,
Speaker 3: you know, it wasn't your your what's the other one?
Speaker 3: Give me another one Niagara Falls exactly.
Speaker 4: It was one of those.
Speaker 3: It was a deep cut because it was meant to be,
Speaker 3: you know, kept safe. So basically he films his video
Speaker 3: clip there and he's like swimming in the waterfalls and
Speaker 3: he's enjoying the nature, and he's like walking on the
Speaker 3: moss and essentially like I wouldn't say, ruining the environment,
Speaker 3: but not treating it nice and not really giving viewers
Speaker 3: the proper understanding of how sacred that land was. So
Speaker 3: naturally everyone's like, I want to go there. That seems amazing.
Speaker 3: So it was in twenty twenty nineteen, two point three
Speaker 3: million tourists visited at that location, as opposed to six
Speaker 3: hundred thousand a couple of years beforehand, so just too many,
Speaker 3: which led to not only the degradation of that land area,
Speaker 3: but the closure of it. Now nobody can go and
Speaker 3: visit it anymore because too much damage happened. And you
Speaker 3: know when they say, like one bad apple spoils the rest,
Speaker 3: it was kind of like that scenario. We can't totally
Speaker 3: blame Justin Bieber, but if someone needs to be responsible,
Speaker 3: it would be him in this instance.
Speaker 4: And it's the fact.
Speaker 3: That maybe because there wasn't a duty of care with
Speaker 3: how he was using or interacting with the environment. That
Speaker 3: gave everyone else the impression that it was a free
Speaker 3: for all and now no one can use it.
Speaker 4: The believers were following suit. It's such a bleating though.
Speaker 3: Imagine a whole country being like it's done.
Speaker 4: It's well. It seems that.
Speaker 2: They're taking quite a bit of initiative, which I appreciate
Speaker 2: their setting some boundaries. Maybe yeah, one day, give it
Speaker 2: ten years and they'll open it up again, hopefully videos.
Speaker 2: Hopefully by then, our attention span has been circumcised, so
Speaker 2: hardly circumcised.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a word circumcised in this context.
Speaker 2: You can be used in any context if you believe
Speaker 2: in yourself. Hopevery by then no reason to be watching
Speaker 2: the video clip because it goes so too long and
Speaker 2: therefore nobody comes and.
Speaker 4: It's a circle of vibe.
Speaker 3: I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, genius.
Speaker 4: This is flex and frooms. I listened to music on Spotify.
Speaker 2: Originally I was an Apple user, back in the days
Speaker 2: where there was iPods.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, of course, and back when you would like.
Speaker 2: Sync your iPhone to your computer, when iCloud didn't we
Speaker 2: didn't have a choice. Yeah, and it worked, Okay, it
Speaker 2: was fine. Obviously I made the jump to Spotify. I
Speaker 2: like the Spotify branding. I have a friend that works
Speaker 2: for Spotify. It's a general good vibe. Yeah, I'm on
Speaker 2: it all the time when I'm playing on my computer.
Speaker 2: I'm on my computer for most of the day. That's
Speaker 2: my job, and I'll always be listening to something at
Speaker 2: the moment.
Speaker 4: What am I listening to?
Speaker 2: A lot of Our Silverchair and Daniel Jones, which is
Speaker 2: the most random thing on earth.
Speaker 4: Who like, It's not me.
Speaker 2: It's teenage, angsty, nineties music, all the things that I
Speaker 2: find quite revolting.
Speaker 3: But I would say that New Daniel John's does have
Speaker 3: like an R and B song or two.
Speaker 4: So it's got a song or two of everything.
Speaker 2: It's got ballads, it's got I saw it. One of
Speaker 2: the songs described as like the start of a thriller, ooh,
Speaker 2: thriller movie. It's called Reclaim Your Heart. I highly recommend. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I'm on Spotify and I have two people who I
Speaker 2: have in the little sidebar that's like what they're listening
Speaker 2: to right now? Do you ever use that function?
Speaker 4: Not once ever? So these two people that I have.
Speaker 4: They're not my best friends.
Speaker 2: It's an old house housemaid of mine and a friend's boyfriend.
Speaker 2: So random. So my housemates, I'm constantly looking just when.
Speaker 4: Did they last? Little think what are they doing?
Speaker 2: My friend's boyfriend lives in New York, so I'm always wondering, oh,
Speaker 2: when did he last listen to that?
Speaker 4: And I think, Oh, what's what's he thinking about right now? Wow?
Speaker 4: How's he feeling right now?
Speaker 3: What time in the day do you have for this?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: It's like a split a split thought, just split thought.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then my old housemate is a like director and producer,
Speaker 2: so I check what she's She loves a bit of
Speaker 2: R and B. But if she's like, I know, she's
Speaker 2: working really hard when she's got the low fire Beats
Speaker 2: style playlists popping, and it just to me, I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm invading their privacy.
Speaker 4: Because they probably don't know that, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm worried that I've like inadvertently got it
Speaker 2: on and people are like, what the fugees this chick
Speaker 2: listening to?
Speaker 4: Would you? So you don't have that on?
Speaker 3: The only people that I have it on for is
Speaker 3: when I used to download music from SoundCloud for DJ sets.
Speaker 3: Usually they would make you tick a bunch of these permissions,
Speaker 3: like all in exchange with getting this song for free,
Speaker 3: you agree to follow us on Facebook, follow us on Spotify,
Speaker 3: follow us on this And so I have a lot
Speaker 3: of those people in the side tap, but nobody I
Speaker 3: know that's cool.
Speaker 4: Are they hard and fast rules or just you ought
Speaker 4: to do this?
Speaker 3: If you, I think it's like a it's an optional option,
Speaker 3: but the way they phrase it, you think it's mandatory.
Speaker 4: Smart.
Speaker 2: And I was thinking to our producer Brook about this,
Speaker 2: and she spoke to her friend and he sent us
Speaker 2: a voice note about his experience with listening to Let's
Speaker 2: take a listen.
Speaker 1: Hey, Flexen Frooms. I was just thinking about Spotify and
Speaker 1: one of my mates he has his Spotify list so
Speaker 1: you can see what songs he's listening to, and generally
Speaker 1: he listens to kind of energetic, upbeat music, and I
Speaker 1: noticed that his taste had changed into a lot more
Speaker 1: saddow style of music. So I reached out to him
Speaker 1: and I was like, hey, man, how's everything going. Is
Speaker 1: everything all right? And it turned out he was going
Speaker 1: through a bit of a tough time and I was
Speaker 1: able to kind of figure that out, just because I
Speaker 1: knew him really well and I knew his music taste
Speaker 1: had kind of changed, so that was really interesting. So
Speaker 1: I tried it a few more times, and there was
Speaker 1: kind of like a fifty fifty success rate because sometimes
Speaker 1: some people would just suddenly start liking Bonivu and that's
Speaker 1: cool too, but sometimes they would be going through a
Speaker 1: tough time, so I was able to kind of kind of,
Speaker 1: I don't know, help them a little bit, I think maybe.
Speaker 1: But other times they were just listening to Sadow music
Speaker 1: for no particular reason other than they kind of liked it.
Speaker 4: I love that. It's like a mental health check, but lyrical.
Speaker 3: See I'm the opposite. Oh, I'm like, you're being presumptuous.
Speaker 3: Are you sticking your neck in something about like because
Speaker 3: my song of choice is oh, my listening of choice
Speaker 3: at home will either be like sad music just because
Speaker 3: I find it. To me, it can feel more neutral
Speaker 3: than an upbeat song, like sometimes really high upbeat songs
Speaker 3: like Noise to me, where I'm like I just need
Speaker 3: to vibe. But if for some reason, someone that I
Speaker 3: wasn't that close with who just had access to my
Speaker 3: listening was like, hey, just checking in, like go away
Speaker 3: or is this stop leave me alone?
Speaker 2: I think if you have the feature on on purpose,
Speaker 2: it's like a cry for help.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we didn't even know it, Like, we didn't
Speaker 3: even know how we got access to these things.
Speaker 4: Well, you may as well ask.
Speaker 2: It's better to ask if you're worried about somebody's mental
Speaker 2: health and just let us.
Speaker 3: Of course, definitely better to ask. But as he said,
Speaker 3: fifty percent success, right, you're making me mentally unwell by
Speaker 3: checking in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're It's a self fulfilling prophecy to your silverchair.
Speaker 3: Don't want to rush you off this topic, but I
Speaker 3: do want to tell you about my favorite Spotify feature.
Speaker 3: It's a new one. It's called Enhance. And so what
Speaker 3: you do is you go into your like songs, you
Speaker 3: click in hands and what it'll do, it'll serve you
Speaker 3: new music in and between your current music that matches
Speaker 3: the genre.
Speaker 4: Whoa, because if.
Speaker 3: You're like me, I don't get out of my liked music.
Speaker 3: I just listen to the same songs on repeat, and
Speaker 3: then every now and then when I'm adding a new song,
Speaker 3: that'll be a bit of flavor. So let's say I have,
Speaker 3: for example, a Drake song followed by a fall Out
Speaker 3: Boys song, and it'll insert a new song in between
Speaker 3: that is a merge of those genres.
Speaker 4: What would that be, pink Panthers? I think it would
Speaker 4: be Juice World. Oh okay, Juice World. Cool. Yeah.
Speaker 2: For me, my music taste is eclectic. The thing that
Speaker 2: binds all of the songs that I like together is the.
Speaker 4: Melody and the bridge. I love a bridge. I live
Speaker 4: for the bridge.
Speaker 2: I'm just kind of like a running up a hill,
Speaker 2: just getting through the whole start of the song. Then
Speaker 2: you saw with the bridge, and then you fall down
Speaker 2: to earth and you're got to think, what am I
Speaker 2: listen to next?
Speaker 4: I love that this is flex and frooms.
Speaker 3: Whenever I see a interesting TikTok my first point of call.
Speaker 3: We're usually sharing it on Instagram, but I find that
Speaker 3: it starts a whole kettle of conversation. I don't want
Speaker 3: to facilitate, you know as the back and the fourth
Speaker 3: and like no, no, no, no, I don't want to do it.
Speaker 3: And so now this is my new outlet because it's
Speaker 3: just us and we can like shut it down really
Speaker 3: quickly and move on. So I came across this video
Speaker 3: called how to become less critical of others, which very
Speaker 3: interested by because I think it's really avoidable. We're in
Speaker 3: a society that's in to have opinions about a lot
Speaker 3: of stuff, and with opinions comes critique often, bro.
Speaker 4: That's my struggle of taking this job, having.
Speaker 3: To have thoughts, yeah, and having to know what you
Speaker 3: think about stuff.
Speaker 4: It's very complicated. I used to say that I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: I didn't have a lot of thoughts before working in
Speaker 3: media because it wasn't a priority. This is a vibe
Speaker 3: now I can't find thoughts every day. Listen to this video.
Speaker 5: I'm going to teach you how to become less critical
Speaker 5: and judgmental of others.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, you do want to. You think you
Speaker 4: don't want to, You do want to?
Speaker 5: Okay, So I learned this on a podcast episode. Basically,
Speaker 5: when you get a critical, judgmental thought.
Speaker 4: Of someone, you say just like me. So you're like, oh,
Speaker 4: they're so.
Speaker 3: Annoying, and then you say just like me.
Speaker 5: And this removes our positional thinking because often we are
Speaker 5: most treated by something that we do recognize in ourselves.
Speaker 5: Of course, I'm not talking about bigotry or anything like that,
Speaker 5: but I am talking about Let's say someone is always
Speaker 5: complaining and you're like, oh, this person's always.
Speaker 4: Complaining, what are you doing this? What are you doing.
Speaker 1: Just like me?
Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
Speaker 5: If you learn to see how you are actually similar
Speaker 5: to other beings, I think that removes the idea, the
Speaker 5: notion that you.
Speaker 4: Live in conflict with others.
Speaker 5: That is the ego. The ego is always looking to
Speaker 5: assert its dominance over other human beings, and so in
Speaker 5: order to live and live in kindness with others, you
Speaker 5: use just like me to remove the criticism. And if
Speaker 5: you were on the other end of that criticism, you
Speaker 5: would want someone to understand and to empathize with the
Speaker 5: fact that you're just a human being and you are flawed.
Speaker 4: Did that hit just like me? Yeah? Very simple?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, who is that person? This person's name is?
Speaker 3: I understood, I understood. It's like a punt aya and
Speaker 3: da stood.
Speaker 4: Cool.
Speaker 3: I love that it really resonated straight away, because I remember,
Speaker 3: I would say, maybe two years ago now, somewhere during
Speaker 3: COVID came across this video that said that the easiest
Speaker 3: way to resolve conflict is to expect that fifty percent
Speaker 3: of it is your fault at.
Speaker 4: Any given time, that was revolutionary.
Speaker 3: So you know, when you're like that person so annoying,
Speaker 3: they never do this, never do that. It's okay, cool
Speaker 3: now which bit is your fault? So you can cop
Speaker 3: that and at least half of that stress is alleviated
Speaker 3: off you. And it really does work because it makes
Speaker 3: you a problem solve or ale and a troubleshooter as
Speaker 3: well to be like, Okay, if this conflict isn't completely avoidable,
Speaker 3: which part can I take ownership for? And then at
Speaker 3: least in that vein, I feel comfortable with it. What
Speaker 3: do you think about that?
Speaker 2: For me? So things that annoying me, I'm going to
Speaker 2: try and think of things that annoy me straight off
Speaker 2: the bat, just regardless of whether or not I think
Speaker 2: I do them. Not cleaning up the bench after I
Speaker 2: eat something, just like me, I get what that is
Speaker 2: trying to do, because I definitely agree that the things
Speaker 2: that you find the most annoying things that you do.
Speaker 2: For example, for the longest time, my sister and I
Speaker 2: were butting heads forever, since we were three years old, fighting, fighting, fighting,
Speaker 2: and it wasn't until I think, like something that I
Speaker 2: went through for the last year is becoming more accepting
Speaker 2: of people because I've started accepting myself.
Speaker 4: So for many years I didn't accept myself. But I didn't.
Speaker 4: I couldn't figure out.
Speaker 2: Why that was because in my mind, I thought I
Speaker 2: was amazing, like I have this enormous ego. I think
Speaker 2: I'm doing things perfectly and correctly, but actually was being
Speaker 2: very hard on myself. And therefore that's why I was
Speaker 2: hard on my sister, for example, because she would do
Speaker 2: things that I thought were like lazy, or she wasn't
Speaker 2: doing this, she wasn't doing that, she was messy, so
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, I couldn't relate to her. And it's
Speaker 2: probably because a big part of me was like that
Speaker 2: nature wise, like I'm actually born to be sort of
Speaker 2: like a careless, carefree social person. But I'd shut that
Speaker 2: part of me off, and I think because I was
Speaker 2: not allowing that part of myself, anyone else that was
Speaker 2: doing it would really piss me off. So now that
Speaker 2: I see parts of myself that I saw in my sister,
Speaker 2: it's given me a complete one eighty because I'm like,
Speaker 2: how was I so critical of her this whole time
Speaker 2: when I'm probably even a worse version of the things
Speaker 2: that she does, And that's not annoying, like, for example,
Speaker 2: her voice would annoy me. And then I can.
Speaker 3: You play a voice just like you that's exactly like.
Speaker 4: The way that you speak, your cadence, your phrases, Like you.
Speaker 3: Could play that voice saying that must have been wild.
Speaker 2: So it's it's a very revolutionary thing to do to
Speaker 2: be able to see something that someone does it's very annoying.
Speaker 2: It's very hard to accept that you do annoying things too.
Speaker 2: I find that that's like the last fun frontier of evolution.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, it's a tricky thing. I had a
Speaker 3: similar experience, and it's awsome you were able to come
Speaker 3: to that conclusion. That's like self awareness on on one foul.
Speaker 4: Very very very very.
Speaker 2: The thing about self awareness that I feel sometimes isn't
Speaker 2: spoken about is that it completely shifts your idea and
Speaker 2: you can get a lot of guilt, Yeah, and self
Speaker 2: awareness because you think back to things and you get
Speaker 2: embarrassed that you didn't do it like that always but
Speaker 2: part of the journey.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that though. I've been finding that I'm
Speaker 3: obviously I was like a nonfiction self development girly, but
Speaker 3: I found a lot of it to be quite conceptual
Speaker 3: and im practical for day to day to day to day,
Speaker 3: but I want to know how to be a better
Speaker 3: person for real life, not for academic conversation. And so similarly,
Speaker 3: I used to have this thing where I used to
Speaker 3: get really frustrated at people who wouldn't assert themselves and
Speaker 3: speak up for themselves when I used to come to
Speaker 3: find out, I hate that I have to do that
Speaker 3: for myself. I hate that I can't just exist without
Speaker 3: having to have my backup or like speak on behalf
Speaker 3: of myself on behalf of other people. And so I
Speaker 3: would resent people who just like walk around in the
Speaker 3: world without a care, no judgment with and nobody would
Speaker 3: have have any expectations on them, or who could easily
Speaker 3: take like the damsel route in conflict, or who could
Speaker 3: cry their way out of something, or who people would
Speaker 3: perceive to be like soft and needing of care and
Speaker 3: comfort as opposed to being like, oh, she's got it,
Speaker 3: like she'll handle it. So then I started projecting me like, well,
Speaker 3: everybody else has to handle it, because if I got
Speaker 3: to handle it, you got to handle it. We can't
Speaker 3: both be not handling it and we can't both handle it.
Speaker 2: And you think it's unfair that you have so unfair
Speaker 2: how you are with how are you with that? Now?
Speaker 3: I think it's like an over correction because part of
Speaker 3: me then goes into like extra sympathizing and I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: not everyone can handle it, and everyone can be a
Speaker 3: frontline warrior babe, like it's a gift that you can
Speaker 3: do that. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no no,
Speaker 3: that's like that's the overcorrection again. So I battle between
Speaker 3: it because I think that balance is necessary, and I
Speaker 3: don't do really well at balance. So I try and
Speaker 3: find the balance between letting people know that I can
Speaker 3: be frontline warrior, but also so letting people deal with
Speaker 3: their own shit on their own and have no expectation
Speaker 3: that I will be there to help them, because I
Speaker 3: also was finding that I was doing a lot of
Speaker 3: helping in a way that was hurting me and not
Speaker 3: receiving like the care I needed once I had helped someone,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So if someone's like, oh,
Speaker 3: can you defend my honor?
Speaker 4: Whatever?
Speaker 3: That might be like, hey, flexis person's done something really racist,
Speaker 3: can you xyz? So then I'll go fight this battle
Speaker 3: for this person. They'll feel really empowered. Now I'm getting abuse. Yeah, facts,
Speaker 3: like what is the balance?
Speaker 2: It is very hard though, when you are a strong
Speaker 2: person that makes a point of doing things their own,
Speaker 2: Like I think sometimes people look at you and think,
Speaker 2: she's like a woman so inspirational doing her own thing,
Speaker 2: when you're just actually being yourself, and when that kind
Speaker 2: of image is projected onto you, then it is very
Speaker 2: hard for people to feel like they can help you.
Speaker 2: I think as well, because you are happy to kind
Speaker 2: of point things.
Speaker 4: Out that people do.
Speaker 2: Maybe like people worry to help you because they're worried
Speaker 2: about doing the wrong thing.
Speaker 3: Of course, it goes both ways. That's that's the balance though.
Speaker 3: It's like everything and the fifty of all the conflict
Speaker 3: is yours, Like what do you do? What behaviors have
Speaker 3: you expressed that would contribute to this thing that is
Speaker 3: frustrating you so much? I'm like, oh I did this.
Speaker 3: I'm an alchemist baby, Yeah.
Speaker 4: I like that term.
Speaker 2: It reminds me of which making a potion that has
Speaker 2: some not anthetamines parased moolgon alchymists also and the potions
Speaker 2: of different colors and seeing purple, I saw.
Speaker 3: Green but same bye, Like, yeah, we gotta talk about
Speaker 3: the green and purple paradox as well.
Speaker 4: Anyway, we'll talk about it in another podcast. You're listening
Speaker 4: to Flex and Frooms on Ka. So, for me is
Speaker 4: a big fan of be Real.
Speaker 3: It's a new social media app that is meant to
Speaker 3: kind of be the antidote to current social media platforms.
Speaker 3: If what we have now is curated, maybe a bit superficial, exclusive,
Speaker 3: be real is meant to be inclusive, if you know, honest, candid, light,
Speaker 3: fun for everyone.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: I get that in theory makes heaps of sense to me.
Speaker 3: In practice, though, I honestly think that be Real is
Speaker 3: just doing what every other social media was claiming to
Speaker 3: do when Instagram came out. Right, Instagram did not say
Speaker 3: where a curated platform. You know that it is meant
Speaker 3: to be sophisticated and refined and beautiful. It was meant
Speaker 3: to be a place to share images with your friends
Speaker 3: and family about what you're doing. It was meant to
Speaker 3: be honest, it was meant to be candid, similarly to TikTok.
Speaker 3: What we love about it, or loved is that it
Speaker 3: was a place where we saw real people doing real things,
Speaker 3: and naturally, as places evolve on the Internet, people develop
Speaker 3: their own system of success for how to use that platform,
Speaker 3: and then it gets competitive. I would say the one
Speaker 3: thing I've noticed with people who use be reals, They're
Speaker 3: constantly saying, I hope I'm somewhere cool and the notification
Speaker 3: comes so I can do my be real. Like, do
Speaker 3: you not see what's happening here? You are taking the
Speaker 3: same behaviors and the same attitudes that you use for
Speaker 3: every other social media platform, and you're bringing it into
Speaker 3: this space just so in a year's time you can say, well,
Speaker 3: this app is toxic and I don't feel like I
Speaker 3: can be myself here and I feel like it's an
Speaker 3: honest representation, And like, do you think be Real's dead?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 3: Do you think everyone's doing this and that it's the
Speaker 3: same thing. Like the fact of the matter is, it's
Speaker 3: not ever just the app's fault. We are the some
Speaker 3: of what the app turns into because the apps don't
Speaker 3: come with rules, they come with guidelines, and then we
Speaker 3: decide how we're going to use them, and then we
Speaker 3: make them an insufferable place.
Speaker 2: I think the issue is always going to arise since
Speaker 2: the moment that we started to consider how people see
Speaker 2: us and be able to put statistics to that. So
Speaker 2: I think despite the fact that a lot of people say, oh,
Speaker 2: social media makes us too aware of how we're perceived,
Speaker 2: it like heightens the idea that we're thinking about how
Speaker 2: people perceive us. I think we always have done that.
Speaker 2: It's like keeping up with the Jones of Style South.
Speaker 2: We're always worried about how people see us, and I
Speaker 2: think there's like a biological reason for that, sure the pack.
Speaker 3: And because we know how social media works, we understand
Speaker 3: that intrinsically, like we're meant to publish and receive feedback
Speaker 3: on what we publish, and whether that's in the form
Speaker 3: of something quantitative that you can measure like a like
Speaker 3: a share, a comment, or qualitative like the way you
Speaker 3: feel after you post. There's always going to be an
Speaker 3: expectation of some kind of return on investment in some
Speaker 3: way that stops it from being really quote unquote genuine
Speaker 3: or honest, like in the sense or if I'm at
Speaker 3: home and I'm going to like journal how I feel.
Speaker 3: That's my way of documenting to myself what I'm going through.
Speaker 3: Because nobody can see it, I'm going to be a
Speaker 3: bit reckless with it. I might not type in full sentences.
Speaker 3: I might not write a cohesive thought because only I'm
Speaker 3: gonna see this, It doesn't really matter. But as soon
Speaker 3: as we know there's an audience, we start to you know,
Speaker 3: look a bit cute, I stand a bit straighter, be
Speaker 3: mindful of where it's going.
Speaker 4: I'm doing this. I'm sticking my neck out and doing
Speaker 4: a little piece.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all something.
Speaker 4: So I'm just waiting.
Speaker 3: I think I will continue to give it a go
Speaker 3: because I like social media. I like the Internet. I
Speaker 3: like the communities that it creates. But I'm putting this
Speaker 3: on record so we can look back on it in
Speaker 3: a couple of months time to be like how did
Speaker 3: it start and what is it devolved into or like,
Speaker 3: you know, progressed into.
Speaker 2: I'm very interested about how this app is going to
Speaker 2: make money. I feel like most endeavors want to make money.
Speaker 2: And imagine, like if I was a tech someon who
Speaker 2: created tech that became really popular, I'd be kicking myself
Speaker 2: if I didn't already put ads in it from.
Speaker 4: The first place, hundred percent, Like when are we going
Speaker 4: to get ads on? Be real?
Speaker 3: But you know what they say, if it's for free,
Speaker 3: you are the product that.
Speaker 2: Changed my life. I want to talk more about be
Speaker 2: Real maybe later in the week. Sure, I want to
Speaker 2: talk about like who you actually accept on your burrial,
Speaker 2: because I think that's red hot.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flegs and Frooms daily podcast.
Speaker 5: Tune need de Kater on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.