Speaker 1: Have I ever told you about my mate? I got
Speaker 1: to take my bush turkey? Please continue.
Speaker 2: I don't know why he went after a bush turkey,
Speaker 2: but he did, and it tore him to shreds.
Speaker 3: Yeah you're overpowered by a bush turkey. Yeah, it turned
Speaker 3: on him and just pecked the shit out of him.
Speaker 3: He added up in hospital and everything. Just boot it
Speaker 3: and think you try it?
Speaker 1: Is he scared of bush turkeys? Now I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm not friends with him after that.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to two notting dads. I am Mattie Jay
Speaker 1: and I am This is a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 1: It is the good, it is.
Speaker 2: The bad and the relatable.
Speaker 1: And if you have come wanting any type of advice,
Speaker 1: stop right now, press pause, stop. Thank you very much.
Speaker 1: I need some but I need some buddy with a
Speaker 1: human touch. Cracking song spice girls. Yeah, absolutely nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with him, but I have to apologize just quickly. You've
Speaker 1: come into a construction site.
Speaker 2: I noticed I jumped the neighbors fence to get in.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of a lot of men here, a
Speaker 1: lot of men. I'll explain why they are all here. Why. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's have a drink first.
Speaker 2: Yes, and today is something very different, something both of
Speaker 2: us haven't had before from Stone and Wood. So it's
Speaker 2: called the Northern Rivers be or NRB.
Speaker 1: This is a cute little can.
Speaker 2: It is cute. Yeah, I haven't had this one before either,
Speaker 2: so will quickly crack this, have a little taste and
Speaker 2: just let everyone know why it's so special.
Speaker 1: So this is it's a limited limited in location as well,
Speaker 1: so you can actually only get this in bottle shops
Speaker 1: between Tweed and Yamber or online or online. I feel
Speaker 1: that were one of the only people right now in
Speaker 1: Sydney drinking.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's delightful, multi.
Speaker 1: Ooh, here's a hint of malt there.
Speaker 2: It's multier than the other beers that they have. There's
Speaker 2: a little floral do.
Speaker 1: You say, there's a subtle malt flavor, low bitterness. But
Speaker 1: but that is bloody delish.
Speaker 2: And it's apparently the greenest beer not in color the environment.
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick's Day. No, that do you mean?
Speaker 3: Ash seventy percent certified sustainable molt and one hundred cent
Speaker 3: certified sustainable hops.
Speaker 2: Now, I don't wonder what you're thinking. What do you
Speaker 2: mean by certified sustainable? All it means really is they
Speaker 2: use less energy overall when brewing this beer. It's also
Speaker 2: brewed in carbon neutral berries, making it the greenest beer.
Speaker 1: Oh, you mean like they're using less water. Yes, Matt.
Speaker 2: Anything that uses less energy and is better for the environment.
Speaker 2: That is what this beer is all about. Cheers to
Speaker 2: that is to that And good news for the listeners,
Speaker 2: Matt is we are giving away a case of this
Speaker 2: NRB this week.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is what you have to
Speaker 1: post a story of you listening to the podcast at
Speaker 1: two doting dads tag Us tag Stone and would follow
Speaker 1: both accounts, and we'll pick someone each week to have
Speaker 1: this case of NIB sent directly to your front door.
Speaker 2: It will be missing a couple because we thank you
Speaker 2: Stony Wood.
Speaker 1: For making this episode possible. How are you, Matt, it's
Speaker 1: been it's been stressful. Have you recovered from you're sick?
Speaker 2: Oh? I am?
Speaker 1: I am. I'm holding on to the end my life
Speaker 1: cycle ash of a flu. I would say it almost
Speaker 1: always starts with the tingle, a sore throat. That sore
Speaker 1: throat turns flemy. I have phlegm for four days and
Speaker 1: then I come good. You're very routined, man. I find
Speaker 1: I am like every single time, I'm like, come on,
Speaker 1: sore throat, just and and I'm in the Flemy stage.
Speaker 2: It's such a relief when you're in the Flemy stone age,
Speaker 2: and like the feeling of getting a good bit of phlem.
Speaker 1: Oh mate. This morning, I coughed up some phlegm and
Speaker 1: I spat it out and it was like it had
Speaker 1: it had the flem had veins in, it had like red.
Speaker 1: It was like it was part of a brain.
Speaker 2: There's any doctors listening, what's happening.
Speaker 1: I'm just coughing up part of my lung. But I
Speaker 1: felt great. I felt better afterwards. But in addition to
Speaker 1: being a little bit sick at the moment, we do
Speaker 1: have a number of tradesmen currently at my house, and
Speaker 1: you may recall that they will probably start drilling soon,
Speaker 1: so if they do apologize, I sometimes like to make
Speaker 1: myself sound a bit more masculine when I talk to
Speaker 1: the tradesman.
Speaker 2: Is that why tools are out down?
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. He was explaining to
Speaker 1: me what's wrong with the air of the house of
Speaker 1: trying to fix It's a front window. You may recall
Speaker 1: ash there was a little leak, a tiny little leak,
Speaker 1: and every time it rained. We'll just be doing a
Speaker 1: lot of lately in Sydney.
Speaker 2: This is the same bedroom that you stuffed me into
Speaker 2: when I came and stay.
Speaker 1: This is this is that the guest room slash ash,
Speaker 1: and my mum's room and the mold room. And so
Speaker 1: he came along. He looked at it and goes, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just going to patch this little thing up here
Speaker 1: under the windows sill and you'll be good to go.
Speaker 1: There's no window. So so as he started patching up,
Speaker 1: he goes, oh, there's something wrong here. So he starts
Speaker 1: taking away a bit of the Oh no, it's the word,
Speaker 1: not the.
Speaker 2: Jip rock is the house.
Speaker 1: And then the more he took away, the more he
Speaker 1: realized we have a big problem.
Speaker 2: Tradies will do that once they get them in a
Speaker 2: we're going to have a thing against trades.
Speaker 1: Now. I'm not one to question, you know. The he
Speaker 1: could say anything to me. He could say the wall
Speaker 1: was about to fall down and we need to rebuild
Speaker 1: the whole thing, and I would reply and say, gosh,
Speaker 1: thank goodness, you spotted it. Better get to it. So
Speaker 1: the window apparently wasn't wasn't drilled in. It was just
Speaker 1: it was like it was like sitting there with some
Speaker 1: type of adhesive. Anyway, they removed the entire window. So
Speaker 1: what was meant to be a three hour job has
Speaker 1: turned into a three day job and I'm now missing
Speaker 1: the entire front window of my house.
Speaker 2: I turned up and I was like, how am I
Speaker 2: going to get in? Had to jump my neighbors fence.
Speaker 1: But also I then had to explain to the three
Speaker 1: boys and say, I do a podcast and would you
Speaker 1: mind putting your tools down? And they were like, what's
Speaker 1: a podcast? So yeah, so if they start drilling, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to tell them to stop. You're going to
Speaker 1: have to go out there because you're more masculine than
Speaker 1: I am. Some have said that, and you also you're
Speaker 1: part much.
Speaker 2: You watch my accent change completely. I will go from
Speaker 2: being like this to be like listening, turn it down?
Speaker 1: Will Can you check what kind of wood they're using
Speaker 1: for the window frame? What type was it?
Speaker 2: I need to get a closer inspection, but I would
Speaker 2: say it's probably some sort of hard wood considering unless
Speaker 2: I'm it's something a bit more lightweight, like cedar because
Speaker 2: it can be outside.
Speaker 1: I do think they might use the seedar for anyone
Speaker 1: who doesn't know ashwork in a timber yard, so he
Speaker 1: knows wood.
Speaker 2: And it's not a gay club.
Speaker 1: What woods? This table?
Speaker 2: By the way, is it oak?
Speaker 1: Thank you? It's Tasmania. I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2: Is it something either that or American oak something like that.
Speaker 2: Don't leave this in the rain anyway.
Speaker 1: When are they going to be done? Maybe tomorrow?
Speaker 2: Okay, your mum's back this week, isn't she? No?
Speaker 1: Or she is back in the country. But she's back
Speaker 1: in Brisbane right And when she comes back to Sydney.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to get her back on the podcast.
Speaker 3: She's going to come on the podcast. She's going to
Speaker 3: update us. She just did a Kentucky to her, she's
Speaker 3: essentially on a Kentigy tour and I would get these
Speaker 3: updates from her. I should have I should have spoken
Speaker 3: to her more frequently, but maybe every three days we'd
Speaker 3: touch base, and every time i'd speak to her, she'd
Speaker 3: been scammed again. She's been scammed more times than anyone
Speaker 3: that I know who's gone on an overseas tree.
Speaker 2: I love that. I can imagine her too. She's so
Speaker 2: easily startled, so she was just seen like.
Speaker 1: Any bit of transit. She was going to a couple
Speaker 1: of places in France. Anytime she had to move to
Speaker 1: another hotel, they were just like, this woman is easy prey.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. The taxi drivers are scamming her, people on
Speaker 1: the street are scamming her. Even other tourists are like,
Speaker 1: she's so easily scammed. I'm going to scam her.
Speaker 2: Oh that's great. I love that. I hope she's having
Speaker 2: a great time. She's listening, which she will be.
Speaker 1: She will be always listens. But how are you? How
Speaker 1: are good? Good? Good good?
Speaker 2: Macy has been sick.
Speaker 3: Everyone's sick, mate, It's getting around.
Speaker 2: So we had a bit of a couch rot day yesterday.
Speaker 2: Were just sorry, couch rot. Macey just sat on the
Speaker 2: couch all day because she's poor things sick.
Speaker 1: Who's coin phrase? Couch rot?
Speaker 2: I think the next generation has which not our generation.
Speaker 2: It's a new generation thing on social media. I love it,
Speaker 2: bed roight couch rot. I've just pretty much said anyone
Speaker 2: that is lazy and now essentially just rotten away.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: I love that, I love it. I love to bed rot.
Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite things. What were you guys
Speaker 1: watching on the couch rot? A mixture but a pepper Pig.
Speaker 1: Yesterday we watched sing cracking film. It is a good one,
Speaker 1: one of the best.
Speaker 2: We watched a bit of YouTube which Macy does. This
Speaker 2: thing with YouTube now is because you know how the
Speaker 2: ads in the middle. She'll just yell out ad until
Speaker 2: I eventually hit skip. Like but all of the painkillers
Speaker 2: has made Paul Macy very constipated. So she found her
Speaker 2: in the cupboard again. Remember ages ago she was stealing
Speaker 2: the mints. No like eight months ago. I said, I
Speaker 2: lost Macy and I found her because she could smell
Speaker 2: poo coming from the wardrobe. She just hides in the
Speaker 2: wardrobe two hours. She was in the wardrobe this afternoon
Speaker 2: and every time I go.
Speaker 1: Do there not yet she was trying to do a
Speaker 1: little pool. She was trying to I say, little poo,
Speaker 1: but talk about it. If there's one thing that little
Speaker 1: girl can do, it's big poos. She is she I've
Speaker 1: never seen anything like it, something so small and delicate
Speaker 1: and beautiful can produce something.
Speaker 2: And this morning she was like a hit its peek
Speaker 2: this morning where I've come downstairs and she's screaming and
Speaker 2: April's like to help, trying to help her push it out.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've ever heard a scream of
Speaker 2: a young girl who's constipated but a wretchet man?
Speaker 1: Do you give them? Like I saw it on your
Speaker 1: cupboard recently, you have a big container of metamucile. I
Speaker 1: told her that in confident. Could you kind of sneak
Speaker 1: in a couple of drink? I've never tried it. That's great,
Speaker 1: she gets please not sponsored. Can you give her anything
Speaker 1: to help the food come out?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's like mover cole and stuff like that, but
Speaker 2: she just needs to stop eating ship not like actual shit,
Speaker 2: but like she needs more fruit, like good fibrous fruit.
Speaker 1: But yeah, dealing with that.
Speaker 2: I was away over the weekend, so I missed the union,
Speaker 2: the kids union.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you, I was how is
Speaker 1: that investment going?
Speaker 2: The investment's going great. They're playing really well.
Speaker 1: What's the team called the game?
Speaker 2: They call the Under six of Lambie Jets. Now, I
Speaker 2: did miss this weekend's game, but I got to update
Speaker 2: where we are. There was a drama, okay, within the
Speaker 2: first ten minutes. As you know, it's been really wet Hasten,
Speaker 2: Sydney for the last month, let's call it a month, yeap.
Speaker 1: But the fields are open, but they were quite muddy.
Speaker 2: So there was a lot of slips and falls, and
Speaker 2: it just so happened that Oscar happened to be the
Speaker 2: first slip in fall I heard in the mud?
Speaker 1: Is he a child that? I feel like? Some kids
Speaker 1: really enjoy the wet others hate it. Marley is one.
Speaker 1: She doesn't like getting dirty, doesn't like getting wet in
Speaker 1: any capacity. Is Oscar? Where's he on that scale?
Speaker 2: He slipped in the among the first ten minutes and
Speaker 2: they had to go home, and now it doesn't want
Speaker 2: to go back.
Speaker 1: Ah, he's blaming rugby union. That's the one thing they
Speaker 1: can like, one little bad experience, and that that activity
Speaker 1: is entirely tarnished.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So there was a few slips, a few falls,
Speaker 2: there's a couple of sore heads. All in all, played
Speaker 2: really well. We don't keep score, of course, because they're
Speaker 2: so young. I would say we want player of the
Speaker 2: match Mac. I'm going this week Oscar will be attending.
Speaker 1: How are you going to get it back on the field.
Speaker 2: Just got to pick yourself up, boy, Just drag him
Speaker 2: on a pep talk, Give the team a pep talk.
Speaker 2: There's the footage of some of the some of the kids.
Speaker 2: One kid in particular who's very good, Hugo, Young Hugo,
Speaker 2: which is the son of Zach Beer.
Speaker 1: Hugo is a strong name. I show you this footage afterwards,
Speaker 1: but he's just I've actually already seen it. Oh, I've
Speaker 1: seen it online. You're checking it on where it got.
Speaker 1: I didn't go hunting for the footage. I found the
Speaker 1: footage and I was to Laura. I was like, look,
Speaker 1: that's the that's the team we sponsored. And she was like,
Speaker 1: there are a bunch of kids, and I was like,
Speaker 1: how dare you? How dare you?
Speaker 2: You got to start somewhere.
Speaker 1: Disrespect the athletes like that.
Speaker 2: And athletes is correct, I think, And we maybe invest
Speaker 2: a little bit more money into Hugo.
Speaker 1: What do you how much are we talking our sky's
Speaker 1: limits for this? Okay, we want to lock him down.
Speaker 1: He's like a future Nathan Cleary. I was thinking about
Speaker 1: locking him down for the next thirty five years. Okay,
Speaker 1: sure's let's talk budgets.
Speaker 3: After the podcast treats, we'll should get us to the
Speaker 3: first couple a pack of snakes.
Speaker 2: But anyway, they're going, well, I'll keep you updated with
Speaker 2: anything that happens this week.
Speaker 1: When would you like me to come and help out
Speaker 1: as water boy? Very good question. We'll organize the time.
Speaker 1: Maybe not this week, maybe not next because I'm away.
Speaker 2: It's a long let me know, go twenty six rounds,
Speaker 2: it's a long season.
Speaker 1: I had something happened to me, Ash, which I can
Speaker 1: only assume that this has never happened to you before.
Speaker 1: And I promise you this is a truthful story. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not embellishing it in any capacity.
Speaker 2: I'm strapped in.
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you exactly what happened. It was
Speaker 1: a very unique situation that I found myself in fire
Speaker 1: Away on Sunday. Laura was up at the crack of
Speaker 1: dawn standard and I was also awake. You know, sometimes
Speaker 1: I like to give Laura, not to make myself sound
Speaker 1: like an absolute hero. I like to give Laura a
Speaker 1: little lieon. And Lola was like, what are we doing, daddy?
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, Let's go get
Speaker 1: Let's go get some croissants. How you say croissant, baby Chino?
Speaker 1: And I can get my morning coffee because that's my
Speaker 1: favorite time of the day. Ash.
Speaker 2: How do you order the croissant? Do you say croissant
Speaker 2: or croissant.
Speaker 1: I say, I say, and then I say, and then
Speaker 1: I say MESSI oh, it's.
Speaker 2: Such an ick when like behind someone to line, I
Speaker 2: just get a plan quassan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you hate it when I try and talk in
Speaker 1: the dialect of the country where the food comes from.
Speaker 2: We're not in the country where the food comes from.
Speaker 1: No, I know, but the crosshind is friends. You attacked
Speaker 1: me like this on the podcast. I ordered my coffee
Speaker 1: and I have a keep cup. They prefer the keep
Speaker 1: cup without the lid on it. Right. See, when I
Speaker 1: order it, I hand over the keep cup with no lid.
Speaker 1: You keep the lid. I keep the lid. I put
Speaker 1: the lid back on once the coffee is made. That's
Speaker 1: just how they operate, and I'm happy. That's pretty standard.
Speaker 1: I think I think it's pretty standard. I put the
Speaker 1: lid back into the pram because that's where Lola is, yep,
Speaker 1: and we wait for the coffee to be made. The
Speaker 1: coffe it gets made. I then get the lid from
Speaker 1: the pram and I put it back on the keep
Speaker 1: cup and I start to screw it tight. Something strange
Speaker 1: has happened. I look, and I'm just going to give
Speaker 1: you a visual reference here so you understand. Okay, so
Speaker 1: that's got a Keep cup. This is the key. It's
Speaker 1: not like the brand Keep cup. I screw it on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I look at the cup and I have half a
Speaker 1: caterpillar hanging out. What. Yeah, there's half a caterpillar. It's
Speaker 1: been severed by the Keep cup as I screwed it on.
Speaker 1: So obviously the caterpillar was in the pram.
Speaker 2: You've screwed a caterpillar into your coffee. What a way
Speaker 2: to go the thing?
Speaker 1: So then I'm like, shit, what do I do here?
Speaker 1: What's a man to do? I've never found myself in
Speaker 1: this situation before. Did you blame the caf caterpillars in
Speaker 1: your milk? No? I couldn't because I was holding onto
Speaker 1: the lid, right, So the responsibility now was entirely on
Speaker 1: me the cafe. They have no involvement in the lid.
Speaker 1: The lid is my responsibility. Okay. It's like when someone's
Speaker 1: been crushed and you know you can't, like you don't
Speaker 1: want to, you know that once like you move them
Speaker 1: away from the car or like what they're being crushed by,
Speaker 1: they're going to die. And the caterpillars looking at me,
Speaker 1: going like wooz, don't don't touch anything, leave me be,
Speaker 1: And I was like, caterpillar, I'm sorry, dude, I've got to.
Speaker 2: You've already screwed around around, and he's probably the death
Speaker 2: is imminent.
Speaker 3: So I unscrew it. One half fall to the floor,
Speaker 3: the other half into the coffee, into the coffee.
Speaker 1: Did you drink it? Well? Then I was like, the
Speaker 1: line for the cafe now is massive. I've beaten the rush.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I don't want to order a new coffee.
Speaker 1: I don't want to pull this coffee out. Also, this
Speaker 1: is it's metal. It keeps things really hot. This coffee
Speaker 1: is molten lava. So I go and I get a
Speaker 1: spoon and I start fishing out the second half of
Speaker 1: the caterpillar in the coffee cup, trying to find it.
Speaker 1: And every time I bring the spoon up to the
Speaker 1: surface and I try and like drizzle out the coffee
Speaker 1: to see if I can spot the second half of
Speaker 1: this caterpillar, there's nothing there that's it melted. Well, then
Speaker 1: I think to myself, I'm going to just drink the coffee.
Speaker 1: And when I get to that body, you know, obviously
Speaker 1: I'll I'll notice it in my mouth and I'll spit
Speaker 1: it out. Ooh ooh. So I start drinking this coffee.
Speaker 1: It could have easily been like you know that kid
Speaker 1: that ate the.
Speaker 2: Slug and he died.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so there was there was a boy who ate
Speaker 1: a slug and there's a parasite in the slug killed
Speaker 1: him and it killed him. That's what I was thinking about.
Speaker 1: That was at the forefront of my mind. Ash. But
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so tired, I'm so desperate for coffee.
Speaker 1: I'll risk my life. I'm just going to drag to
Speaker 1: drink it. And Lola was also very confused. She's like, well,
Speaker 1: I could kill a caterpillar because we love caterpillars. Hungry Caterpillar.
Speaker 2: Great book that. I don't know if there was a
Speaker 2: hungry caterpillar ate a coffee in that, but did you
Speaker 2: find it?
Speaker 1: Well I started drinking the coffee. Yeah, And I'm also like,
Speaker 1: does this coffee taste weird?
Speaker 2: Yes, it's got normal people last for sugar. You ended
Speaker 2: up with a caterpillar.
Speaker 1: So I I'm nearing the end and I'm thinking at
Speaker 1: any point now, I've got the lid off the coffee,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I sip and I look, and I sip,
Speaker 1: and I look, and I sip and I look, and
Speaker 1: I get to, like my last sip, there's nobody. The
Speaker 1: caterpillar is nowhere to be found. Well, what do you mean?
Speaker 1: I don't fucking know, dude, And you're here to tell
Speaker 1: the tale. I don't know. So then I finished the coffee.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, I can only assume that the heat of
Speaker 1: the coffee, oh, has almost melted away the body of
Speaker 1: the caterpillar.
Speaker 2: And now you have super huge strength.
Speaker 1: I was walking back home and I thought, you're a
Speaker 1: bit sick. I was like, is this the sickness or
Speaker 1: is this the caterpillar getting vengeance on me for eating
Speaker 1: its body? I was like, I got this lump in
Speaker 1: my throat, got's are feeling weird? That's disgusting. Has it
Speaker 1: ever happened to you?
Speaker 2: No, there's a few things I would have done differently,
Speaker 2: so just bear with me. Well, just pick the main one.
Speaker 2: I would have just ordered another coffee.
Speaker 1: No, dude, you cannot tell me that you would have
Speaker 1: lined up for another five ten minutes, waited another five
Speaker 1: ten minutes. We're talking. We're on the cusp now thirty
Speaker 1: minutes for another cup of coffee. I've got a screaming
Speaker 1: three year old ash.
Speaker 2: There's a caterpillar half alive in your coffee. Doesn't matter,
Speaker 2: todde I once ordered a coffee and I went, I
Speaker 2: walked out of the coffee shop. I was doing something
Speaker 2: with the pram. I just put it onto rest on
Speaker 2: the side of like a pole. It fell off immediately,
Speaker 2: hadn't even had ai. I just walked away. I'd much
Speaker 2: rather not drink the coffee than have to go through
Speaker 2: the embarrassment of picking that up, take another ten minutes
Speaker 2: to get a coffee without being poisoned by a caterpillar.
Speaker 1: You just you're ignoring what I just said. There was
Speaker 1: a queue. We were looking at minimum twenty minute wait time.
Speaker 1: I don't have to. I've you gotta push on, you
Speaker 1: gotta push on, push onto the next cafe. But I'm
Speaker 1: also if it's going to wake me up, I'll drink
Speaker 1: It's fair. Regardless of what's inside that coffee cup.
Speaker 2: That's fair. And yeah, I probably still wouldn't have drank it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's why you and Mere different, my
Speaker 1: friend different, very different. Tenny environmentalists out there also don't
Speaker 1: come for me. I will put it out there that
Speaker 1: I love animals of all shapes and sizes.
Speaker 2: Do the rest of the body start dragging itself away?
Speaker 1: I ran it over in the prem accidentally. Wow.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a series of unfortunate events, and I'm glad
Speaker 2: you're here to tell the tale.
Speaker 1: So far, I will say, I'm feeling okay. I'm not
Speaker 1: out of the woods just yet. Matt.
Speaker 2: It is that time of year again when the New
Speaker 2: South Wales Blues take on the Queensland Maroons.
Speaker 1: Yes, state against state, mate against mate. Ash at the
Speaker 1: time when you and I we put the relationship on pause,
Speaker 1: we do. Yes, we will dislike each other for the
Speaker 1: next couple of weeks until Game three is over and
Speaker 1: Queensland have retained the shield once again, we will see,
Speaker 1: my friend. But one thing is for sure.
Speaker 2: We are partnering with Puma to give away four you
Speaker 2: heard it right, four jerseys that are signed two New
Speaker 2: South Wales and two Queensland. As Matt, how do people
Speaker 2: get their hands on these bad boys?
Speaker 1: As? All you have to do is head to our pages,
Speaker 1: personal pages, or it'll also be on two doting dads.
Speaker 1: There is a photo of yourself and me dressed beautifully
Speaker 1: in moron. You are wearing the disgusting light blue of
Speaker 1: New South Wales, looking delicious, revolting, and all you have
Speaker 1: to do is tag a mate that you would like
Speaker 1: to share the prize with. So we have in total
Speaker 1: four signed jerseys thanks to Puma.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so tag you mate. Who else is your fellow
Speaker 2: state supporter? Who would you watch the game with?
Speaker 1: We'll pick two people, one from Queensland, one from New
Speaker 1: South Wales And just a reminder, you have to also
Speaker 1: be following at Puma Footy on Instagram to be eligible
Speaker 1: to win. Come on, Queensland.
Speaker 2: Good best of luck to you and best of luck
Speaker 2: to Queensland.
Speaker 1: You're going to need it.
Speaker 2: Good luck, Matt. I recently put on our Facebook group
Speaker 2: two Don't Dad Facebook group.
Speaker 1: That is, I saw your post. I want to say,
Speaker 1: considering how many followers we have, the post went viral.
Speaker 1: All one hundred people are right. Normally there's like one
Speaker 1: or two people will comment and I, you know you,
Speaker 1: and I will say something and then like I think,
Speaker 1: a name of Donna is normally the one person who replies, Donna,
Speaker 1: thanks for messaging us. You've got like fourteen comments. My
Speaker 1: friend whoa, that's it? And everyone was on the money,
Speaker 1: the bang on the money.
Speaker 2: So the update, it's not just an update, it's a
Speaker 2: complete change to my parenting style.
Speaker 1: What was your post for those of you, My.
Speaker 2: Post said something along the lines of I just got
Speaker 2: a text message from it were saying, can I have
Speaker 2: the leftover tie? Please?
Speaker 1: At least she's asking can you call her and say no?
Speaker 1: Just calling April? Hey, what do you mean the tie?
Speaker 2: What do you want?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: That's mine?
Speaker 1: A bit late?
Speaker 2: You ate it?
Speaker 1: I literally just.
Speaker 2: Well put it back in the fridge immediately.
Speaker 1: You're not even high. You wouldn't need it, And I'm
Speaker 1: just messing with you. Hi, April, Hi, how you going?
Speaker 1: Don't pretend like it's not been eaten already. When I
Speaker 1: texted you, I was actually eating it because I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I better just do very good.
Speaker 2: I was just letting our listeners know about our big
Speaker 2: update and announcement that we've got the.
Speaker 1: Big party, April. I'll be there black.
Speaker 2: April's really self conscious that she's not done enough or
Speaker 2: not going to have done enough, which I think is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Will there be a petting zoo there? Not quite? It's
Speaker 1: budget friendly. All right, Thank you, and enjoy your lunch April.
Speaker 1: Thanks for saving me. So I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Welcome bye, back to it. Okay, so I said it
Speaker 2: says it reads, I wrote, Am I a politician?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: After five years of avoiding this one aspect of parenting,
Speaker 2: they say all good things must come to an end.
Speaker 2: Can you guess what it is? If not, you'll find
Speaker 2: out in the coming weeks that time has come. After
Speaker 2: five years, I've decided to change my whole outlook on
Speaker 2: parenting and throw one of my children a birthday party.
Speaker 1: Don't all claim it once? Wow, I know, I never
Speaker 1: thought the day would come. The day has come, my friend.
Speaker 2: Some of the party planners, no, we can't afford them.
Speaker 1: So what was the catalyst for deciding that this year
Speaker 1: was the year that you were going to throw your
Speaker 1: first birthday party?
Speaker 2: I was shamed online for being a bad dad.
Speaker 1: Actually, can I ask was it? What was it? When
Speaker 1: we jumped on She's on the Money podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was my money saving tip, and people were like.
Speaker 1: You're a muster. Think of the children, because anyone who
Speaker 1: doesn't know we jumped on. We were guest hosts of
Speaker 1: that podcast. And it's not a serious money saving it's
Speaker 1: kind of a half serious, half joke. Yeah, there were
Speaker 1: a few outrage people.
Speaker 2: They were outrage.
Speaker 1: They didn't know us. They don't know the context. I
Speaker 1: don't know the context. They don't know that.
Speaker 2: I like to tell jokes and that's a joke ish.
Speaker 1: Kind of real laugh. But I think it's funny. So
Speaker 1: I've continued with it.
Speaker 2: And someone was like, hey, dare you take the birthday
Speaker 2: away from a child? And it's like, hang in a
Speaker 2: fucking minute, I don't. I've never done that. We do
Speaker 2: celebrate their birthdays. I'm not a gypsy.
Speaker 1: We let Oscar out of his cage. I'm not a
Speaker 1: gypsy shackle him.
Speaker 2: We let him watch us eat cake. If that's how
Speaker 2: they portrayed me, like there was some sort of monster.
Speaker 2: And then they were like when I because I took
Speaker 2: Macy's birthdays the same day as a friends a friend's
Speaker 2: son's birthday, and the joke is so embedded in our
Speaker 2: friend group that they threw Macy into the birthday song
Speaker 2: at the same time. Well I did, and then I
Speaker 2: tagged them in it, saying I've got you next year,
Speaker 2: like it's my turn. Well, well that's a joke too,
Speaker 2: and someone was like, those poor parents.
Speaker 1: I would defriend you like.
Speaker 2: Relax, all right, fucking relax.
Speaker 1: It's a joke, have I said?
Speaker 2: My response to this person's outrage comment was maybe you
Speaker 2: should have a laugh every now and then just left
Speaker 2: it at that, harmless. This is where we've ended up.
Speaker 2: April's gilted me into having a party. Okay, it doesn't
Speaker 2: mean I'm not going to sabotage it. No, we're in
Speaker 2: We're in time. So we are having a party. I
Speaker 2: wonder if you could guess.
Speaker 1: What the theme is now, well, I got my invite.
Speaker 1: Oh you did, I got my invite. That was an accident.
Speaker 1: It's manly themed.
Speaker 2: It's Manly seagulls theme. Yes, so we're having a Manly
Speaker 2: seagulls cake.
Speaker 1: Oh surely, surely you can get the mascot from Manly
Speaker 1: Seagles down to the birthday party. We don't want to
Speaker 1: say where it's being held, but is it in a
Speaker 1: park because that's one of the big questions. Is it indoor,
Speaker 1: outdoor venue, public space?
Speaker 2: There's so many questions when you're like, you know, where
Speaker 2: do you have it?
Speaker 1: What do you do?
Speaker 2: Are we doing too much?
Speaker 1: What's not enough? No?
Speaker 2: We opted for pub love that, so it's a pub
Speaker 2: with a big kids playground, like a big one outside
Speaker 2: and then all like the area that we've booked is
Speaker 2: like up against the park so the kids can all
Speaker 2: play in the park.
Speaker 1: We get a table with shit there? Can I ask?
Speaker 1: What is the mascot? Is a big eagle? It's a
Speaker 1: big eagle. He's at the eagle.
Speaker 2: I was with the manly ceo over the weekend, actually
Speaker 2: got a flight with him on the.
Speaker 1: All right legend. I didn't must be nice, it was
Speaker 1: nice to Can you drop something mainly seagles? Name you?
Speaker 2: Just?
Speaker 1: Oh not the ceo? Already I already dropped with the seals.
Speaker 1: Look how the tables have turned, my friend, I already
Speaker 1: dropped it.
Speaker 2: You didn't need to pick it up, so anyway, could I? Tony?
Speaker 2: I didn't drop. I didn't say I didn't say anything. Okay,
Speaker 2: I haven't said anything. But if they're listening, I will
Speaker 2: would like the mascot for the afternoon. I think maybe
Speaker 2: we could get that done.
Speaker 1: Who is in the mascot? Does it change depending on what.
Speaker 2: I used to have a friend that was the mascot
Speaker 2: years ago. Hundred bucks a game used to get paid.
Speaker 2: That's quite good.
Speaker 1: That's quite good. I could I could I'd gladly invest
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars to see just a smile on Oscar's
Speaker 1: face for the first time.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a low blow, my friend, are they very
Speaker 2: low blow? So my job was to organize the pub,
Speaker 2: organize the booking.
Speaker 1: April's got me dming people. Who are you dming the pub?
Speaker 2: We want to make sure we get that spot at
Speaker 2: the front. I'm like, I'll just call on like the
Speaker 2: week out, Like it's not a huge deal.
Speaker 1: Also another question, did she want you to DM? Because
Speaker 1: they may yes, they know they're talking to Does he
Speaker 1: want to only this guy Ash Wicks you might get
Speaker 1: the VIP space? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So yeah. I was like, I'm a number one manly
Speaker 2: member okay, And I'm not that's Hugh Jackman. I'm New Jackman.
Speaker 2: And all I did was DM. They'll just say, hey, look,
Speaker 2: I just want the and they're like, yeah, no worries,
Speaker 2: which is great, just perfect. What else am I in
Speaker 2: charge in charge of? I'm in charge of organizing my
Speaker 2: friends that there, dad's and the kids. And that's the
Speaker 2: thing when you're when you're having a party, it's like,
Speaker 2: how do do you go on the guest list?
Speaker 1: It's hard what's what's the capacity? What are we looking at?
Speaker 2: What's a pop? How many people can get in there?
Speaker 2: I'm just how many? So the invite will be on
Speaker 2: my Facebook based.
Speaker 1: If people would like to buy a present for Oscar,
Speaker 1: where can they send them? I think this is great.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited. I'm excited, and I can tell that
Speaker 1: while your exterior is showing a little bit of discomfort frustration,
Speaker 1: I can tell deep down there is a part of
Speaker 1: you that's very excited to create this.
Speaker 2: I am for Oscar. I am excited for a Saturday afternoon.
Speaker 1: Can I help it anyway? Is anything you want to
Speaker 1: help with? Can you leave me the responsibility of the mascot?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Do you have a child entertainer? No? Okay, great, we
Speaker 1: have an adult entertainment. Leave it with me. Leave it
Speaker 1: with me, my friend. I don't want to promise anything, April,
Speaker 1: you heard it. I don't want to promise anything, but
Speaker 1: leave it with me. Leave it with me. I'm going
Speaker 1: to see what I can wrangle where April.
Speaker 2: I am most worried about April. Mainly she's like, what
Speaker 2: no one turns up? Like that'll be a disaster, And.
Speaker 1: It's like, don't you get a possibility. There's one person
Speaker 1: who's going to be there.
Speaker 2: There you go, and that is Oscar really wants is.
Speaker 1: Maddie j He doesn't like me? Does he come to
Speaker 1: duck me again? So actually, what I do.
Speaker 2: Want to know is I don't know if you've got
Speaker 2: any disaster stories, but I want and whether it's on
Speaker 2: your face on the Facebook group or whether it's on
Speaker 2: I might update. I might update the Facebook group with
Speaker 2: the announcement of this and ask for disaster stories, birthday disasters.
Speaker 1: Also, I'm going to just send that Facebook link to
Speaker 1: all the people who criticized you previously. Ash. I'm going
Speaker 1: to go out there and just make sure those people
Speaker 1: who threw shade on you now. But then I guess
Speaker 1: they'll be like, huh see I want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't give it to them, still be wondering what happened?
Speaker 1: Where is that Ash guy? This is exciting, man, I'm excited.
Speaker 1: I'm excited.
Speaker 2: Send a pub on a Saturay afternoon, and.
Speaker 1: I think it's a great venue. I think a pub
Speaker 1: is a great shot. If it's wet.
Speaker 2: Weather inside, there's outside, You've got food there, there's heaps
Speaker 2: of other people that don't have kids to annoy.
Speaker 1: There's toilets. There's toilets, and then you know, if you
Speaker 1: want to peel out, you can't peel out.
Speaker 2: There's also like a restaurant that does food, not just beer.
Speaker 1: Love that. So yeah, it should be good. And if
Speaker 1: we want to kick on easy, we can stay that.
Speaker 1: We can stay there. There's other places. I'm pumped. I'm pumped.
Speaker 2: Great, Can I bring both kids? No, yeah you can.
Speaker 2: We'll have enough Lolli bags for those kids. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: another thing, trying to organize a Lolli bag that's not
Speaker 2: for the choke hazards.
Speaker 1: Okay, that is I think one of the hardest parts
Speaker 1: of a kid's party is a Lolli bag and a
Speaker 1: Tardi bag.
Speaker 2: If you will try not to put something in there
Speaker 2: that's going to choke a child, because that would fall
Speaker 2: back on if you if your lollly bag choked a child,
Speaker 2: and God for beard that child was to pass away,
Speaker 2: you would be responsible.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I put life saving in your pretty to go
Speaker 1: to jail. We're all thinking it. I put life I've
Speaker 1: seen you hole in your way too, pretty good. I
Speaker 1: would be I would be worth quite a lot in prison.
Speaker 2: You will be. I would be you'd be hanging onto
Speaker 2: someone's pocket. Immediately shut up.
Speaker 1: I put life savers in a party bag. I now
Speaker 1: know the irony in that though three to four year
Speaker 1: olds life savers are no.
Speaker 2: Good, the irony in them called life savers, but they
Speaker 2: could so easily take a chock.
Speaker 1: I did, I did. I went to a party recently.
Speaker 1: In the party bag. It wasn't it was a budget version,
Speaker 1: it wasn't match Box brand. It was like the Kmart version.
Speaker 1: Each party bag had a car, a new car. Just
Speaker 1: why is there a BMW key in my will? It
Speaker 1: went down very well, Yeah, no pressure. Just so is
Speaker 1: not all lollies to have some kind of tangible gift?
Speaker 2: Just going to plant to see you thinking with these kids,
Speaker 2: like a calendar.
Speaker 1: Or a book?
Speaker 2: That's who don't need Dad's book? Question?
Speaker 1: Free time available on pre sale. I love how every
Speaker 1: episode we get it just quickly, ash. I don't want
Speaker 1: to my own horn. I am a hero.
Speaker 2: I've always said that I am a hero. You've saved
Speaker 2: my baking in a lot of situations, so I want
Speaker 2: to hear this one.
Speaker 1: We were at the Entertainment Quarter on Sunday. Yes, More Park.
Speaker 1: More Park is a suburban Sydney. By the way, people
Speaker 1: outside of Sydney would be like, what does he mean?
Speaker 1: Now they know there is a great park there. There
Speaker 1: is great park, pretty new. Is it free? Free? Park?
Speaker 1: Park is free? Parking is not free? The park is free.
Speaker 1: They're confusing. You're with me, it's continuing confused.
Speaker 2: Parked up the slide in my fucking car.
Speaker 1: There was it's like a rocket ship type setup if
Speaker 1: if you're with me, where you have to climb up
Speaker 1: to these little chambers and then I'll show you a
Speaker 1: video so you understand what what I'm talking about. But
Speaker 1: it was quite hard to climb up. There wasn't like
Speaker 1: a set of ladders. You had to climb up a
Speaker 1: rope to get then into these chambers and then to
Speaker 1: get to the top you had to go through little pipes,
Speaker 1: just go up into differently and then once you're at
Speaker 1: the top, then there's the top slide and that's how
Speaker 1: you then go back down.
Speaker 2: Is that the only way back down?
Speaker 1: Or you have to come back on yourself and go
Speaker 1: through the pipes. You have to come on and it's
Speaker 1: but even I found it a little bit hard. You know,
Speaker 1: obviously I'm a big guy because sorry, sorry.
Speaker 2: Okay, big guy, what I meant.
Speaker 1: What I meant is I'm an adult and this was degned.
Speaker 1: But Lola wanted to go on the slide. She was like,
Speaker 1: that looks great. She was like, Dad, come with me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, big guy, don't know if
Speaker 1: you can tell can I go down sideways? But I thought,
Speaker 1: you know, I'll go with it because also the slide
Speaker 1: was pretty pretty steep as well, you know.
Speaker 2: But you're a big guy, so for you as fu.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I start climbing through and I'm just going
Speaker 1: to show you what the final chamber looks like.
Speaker 2: A final chamber, like it's some sort of torture chamber interest.
Speaker 1: Play, my guy, Holy shit, thank you?
Speaker 2: Is that an outdoor of bonfire?
Speaker 1: So that's that's the chambers, right, And also they're fully
Speaker 1: enclosed as well, so you don't know how many people
Speaker 1: are like currently playing inside those chambers. That's a prison
Speaker 1: for children.
Speaker 2: That's what some almost like, great news, We've built a
Speaker 2: prison specifically for children.
Speaker 1: Here's what it looks like, right, So it looks impressive,
Speaker 1: but actually, yeah, it's a child trap. So I climb
Speaker 1: in there, I get to the top chamber. Dude, what
Speaker 1: do I find skeleton. There's like eight kids crying up there.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, they're stuck.
Speaker 1: All the kids are stuck. They're all crying and they're like, Mommy, please.
Speaker 1: No other parents noticed because it's so hard. Now other
Speaker 1: parent's gone up there. So I'm found myself with all
Speaker 1: these kids, and I'm like, don't worry everybody. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, who's first. I imagine this is what it
Speaker 1: would have felt like being one of the rescuers from
Speaker 1: the tie cave situation, being face to face with all
Speaker 1: these kids in a life threatening situation, a live threatening situation,
Speaker 1: waiting for the tide to come in. So I'm all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I'm directing these kids down the slide,
Speaker 1: which is very steep, and they're all pretty scared. Don't
Speaker 1: worry I start sedating the kids. I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I was wondering, like, go backwards, if you're scared, go
Speaker 1: back to close your eyes, timmy, and I start. All
Speaker 1: these kids are going down. Then finally it's low. It's myself.
Speaker 1: She goes down first. I go down afterwards, and I'm
Speaker 1: coming down this slide and I'm just wondering to myself,
Speaker 1: what kind of reaction, will I get you know, these
Speaker 1: parents must have been worried, sick. Where the hell's Timmy?
Speaker 1: Where are my kids?
Speaker 2: No one?
Speaker 3: No one knows nothing.
Speaker 2: Parenting is a thankless chore, my friend.
Speaker 1: I don't know how long these kids have been up there, days, weeks.
Speaker 2: Perhaps that story reminds me of have you seen the
Speaker 2: opening of Trolls?
Speaker 1: Yes? No, and he comes down with his daughter. I
Speaker 1: get nothing. I don't do this for the pat on
Speaker 1: the back afterwards. But you're looking for it?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Are you not a single bit of repig you're looking
Speaker 1: for it? Did you come down like, yeah, I got nothing?
Speaker 2: You know what? Well done, sir, Thank you.
Speaker 1: A lesser man would have gone.
Speaker 2: Not my problem.
Speaker 1: That lesser man would have been me. Again, I don't
Speaker 1: do this to hear those words spoken about me.
Speaker 2: Because they're appreciated.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Speaking of praise, let's go into our favorite segment, which
Speaker 2: is heady couple, Welcome down the street, petty couple.
Speaker 1: They kind of like with me, dirty couple. I love you,
Speaker 1: but immiture, no one can push me quite like you.
Speaker 1: Ash first one here is from t J. Spelt Te Space.
Speaker 2: Do not know there's a quicker way to spell that.
Speaker 1: I love words. Marley's learning how to spell right now,
Speaker 1: words like TJ. They're fantastic, very easy, very easy for
Speaker 1: young minds. It's just two letters, well said. TJ says.
Speaker 1: My husband did one of the few loads of washing
Speaker 1: he's ever done and hung it on the line. Well done,
Speaker 1: well done. Round of applause. That's great, bar so low,
Speaker 1: that's so good. Good to see him doing his fair share.
Speaker 1: Not fair share? Is it? He's on the road, it is,
Speaker 1: She says. I noticed it was still in the line
Speaker 1: the next day and reminded him to bring it in.
Speaker 1: The reminders continued over the next couple of days. Those
Speaker 1: clothes and towers remained on the line days, she says. Heah,
Speaker 1: And I don't know if she's embellishing the story, TJ. TJ.
Speaker 1: I don't want to call you a liar, but this
Speaker 1: is this is a bit far fit, she's saying. Cut
Speaker 1: to ten months later. No, ten months. They weren't out
Speaker 1: there for ten months, that's what she's saying. TJ says.
Speaker 1: It must be true. He finally took them off the
Speaker 1: line ten months later. She says, I looked at them
Speaker 1: every single day out of sheer pettiness, I refuse to
Speaker 1: bring them in. TJ. You've done the right thing here,
Speaker 1: You've done the right thing ten months.
Speaker 2: That's more than a pregnancy. Oh that's pretty petty.
Speaker 1: TJ say.
Speaker 2: They're probably his clothes too, Like, that's probably why she's
Speaker 2: left it, if it was anything important of hers.
Speaker 1: I guarantee you TJ's got that off. Also, like the
Speaker 1: one time he finally does the washing, he just does
Speaker 1: his clothes and not hers.
Speaker 2: So who's the pew on air, Matt, I've got one
Speaker 2: from Gemma.
Speaker 1: Jemma says sharing a bathroom.
Speaker 2: With my husband is so annoying. Separate bathrooms.
Speaker 1: I'm with you.
Speaker 2: If he shakes too vigorously and sprays his piss.
Speaker 1: On the floor, I use his towel. No. Oh.
Speaker 2: She also goes under say the same applies if he
Speaker 2: gets water all over the floor because he's incapable of
Speaker 2: using a bath mat properly.
Speaker 1: Oh my, so it still goes.
Speaker 2: She then says, sometimes I watch him drying his face
Speaker 2: and creep, but you've got to kiss that face.
Speaker 1: She don't have to, bro she doesn't have to. I
Speaker 1: hope he's not listening.
Speaker 3: He's got to get his four skin checked and it's
Speaker 3: not his problem. He's got a six skin. That's great
Speaker 3: and I love them. Keep them coming in.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: You can send them to hello at two Doting dads
Speaker 2: dot com, or you can DM two Doting Dad's the
Speaker 2: Instagram page and we.
Speaker 1: Will try and it around to all of them. There
Speaker 1: are lots.
Speaker 2: Because people are out there being petty makes the days
Speaker 2: go by.
Speaker 1: I love how all these men are just completely oblivious
Speaker 1: to what's happening around them, wiping their face, like town
Speaker 1: smells a bit weird. Why does my towel smell pissy? Anyway? Anyway,
Speaker 1: it must be me questions, Ash, Yes, questions. We do
Speaker 1: have a question. Last episode, I think it was we
Speaker 1: told a story about a friend of mine who bit
Speaker 1: their kid as a way to tearing them. You're careful
Speaker 1: not to say that we're advocating for parents to bite
Speaker 1: their own kids. Holy shit. It was an outpouring of
Speaker 1: parents being like, I'm a barter. They're everyone's not. Your
Speaker 1: kids are biting. They're probably just like, that's what we're
Speaker 1: supposed to do. Everyone's biting and it is the most
Speaker 1: effective way, according to the people that have reached out
Speaker 1: to us, to stop the kids from biting other kids.
Speaker 1: And even people were saying I was a bier as
Speaker 1: a kid and I got bit by my parent. I
Speaker 1: no longer bit. So once again, we're not advocating for this.
Speaker 1: We're just saying that there's a lot of people out
Speaker 1: there that say, as parents, it works, as kids getting
Speaker 1: bit by their parents also worked.
Speaker 2: That's crazy for.
Speaker 1: Everyone who reached out. We want to say thank you.
Speaker 1: I have a taste and let us question here is
Speaker 1: from Rhonda. Ronda asks Ash, when you're giving your kids
Speaker 1: a bath at night time, what do you do if
Speaker 1: they we in the bath? Do you change the bathwater
Speaker 1: or do you just push on, push on.
Speaker 2: Nice words there. I definitely depends on how yellow it is,
Speaker 2: because if I can't see it, I don't know it's there.
Speaker 2: But the other day I said to Scar, do we
Speaker 2: get in the bath because I don't need to shares
Speaker 2: a bath with his sister.
Speaker 1: And especially now when it's a bit colder. As soon
Speaker 1: as they hit that warm water floodgates open.
Speaker 2: He and he was so dear high and I was like,
Speaker 2: get over and had to redo the whole bath again. Subsequently,
Speaker 2: we only have a small hot water heater at our house.
Speaker 1: So both April and I ended up with cold showers.
Speaker 1: Oh no, she was not very happy. What is it
Speaker 1: with kids? They like my kids. They've now got a
Speaker 1: taste of pissing in the bath and they prefer that
Speaker 1: than pissing in the toilets. Every time. I'm like, before
Speaker 1: you get in the bath, do are we on the potty?
Speaker 1: And they're like, no, no, are we in there? And
Speaker 1: I'm it's like they will fight. They will fight me
Speaker 1: to not wei on the potty. I'm like trying to
Speaker 1: force them on. So I'm like, hey, fine, But then
Speaker 1: they want to drink the bath water. Yeah, freak, that's
Speaker 1: what they've got, this taste now, the taste for urine.
Speaker 2: What is wrong with you? You see ships in the bath?
Speaker 2: I've set your photos of that ship, which I get
Speaker 2: about immediately. Immediately you change the bath water then or
Speaker 2: baths over. Dad's going to fish out of the drain
Speaker 2: that bath is well and truly, because then I've got
Speaker 2: to like disinfect the bath.
Speaker 1: I didn't think you would. I wouldn't April make it?
Speaker 1: What about you? Do you push on through? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: always always would. It would have to be like acid
Speaker 1: coming out of their body for me to change the
Speaker 1: bath water. I'm like, man, that's wild. That's good to go.
Speaker 1: You guys are fine. You won't notice. That's a lot
Speaker 1: of water, Matt.
Speaker 2: This one's from Sam. What do you tell your kids
Speaker 2: when they ask you how babies get inside mummy's belly?
Speaker 1: Well, that's a good question.
Speaker 2: We want to turn it back on them to see
Speaker 2: how they.
Speaker 1: Think the baby got in the belly. What do your
Speaker 1: kids saying?
Speaker 2: Whatever they say, I just say that that's the answer.
Speaker 1: I've always been pretty upfront, pretty transparent with my kids,
Speaker 1: and it's funny you ask. I've got a tape here.
Speaker 1: I say that you're always babies are in mummy's tummy.
Speaker 1: But when it comes to explaining the intricacies of how
Speaker 1: they got in there, I'm like, go ask your mother.
Speaker 1: I just say, when you love someone very much, you
Speaker 1: cuddle a little. Always the case, though I don't don't.
Speaker 2: Sorry to those single mums out there.
Speaker 1: I don't say I don't say specifically how good in there?
Speaker 1: But I just say that when mum and dad, as
Speaker 1: me and Laura, when we loved each other very much,
Speaker 1: that's how the baby happened. End of good night, and
Speaker 1: let's get out of here.
Speaker 2: Let them figure it out.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I mean, I do think laambled my
Speaker 1: way through it. I do think did she no? Maybe
Speaker 1: not thinking if she said to them they come out
Speaker 1: the vagina. Hmm, that's what they come out of. Know
Speaker 1: how they got in there? No, well, actually that's not true.
Speaker 1: It's both true. I don't think she did. I don't
Speaker 1: quote me on this. I do have this memory of like,
Speaker 1: that's where babies come out from. I think, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is for getting deep and dark. It's a lot for
Speaker 1: the young mind of a four year old to comprehend.
Speaker 1: So I think all that Marley cares about is that
Speaker 1: the baby's inside the tummy. She's not really pushing hard
Speaker 1: for direct answers of like tell me, now, how did
Speaker 1: it get in there? She's looking for a specific anatomy. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just like it's in there, like, eh, fair enough,
Speaker 1: fair enough, it's in there, then it's not. So we'll
Speaker 1: just park that for now, for now, until she's a
Speaker 1: bit older, yes, and until the kids start asking specific questions.
Speaker 1: Then I'll start to lighter them more.
Speaker 2: Perfect. That sounds like a really good plan. That sounds
Speaker 2: that actually is something I would love to do. Just
Speaker 2: laugh at them.
Speaker 1: About it. I have this weird memory sometimes it's just
Speaker 1: strange how one particular moment sticks out in your mind.
Speaker 1: And I remember, I think I was grade five. I'm listening.
Speaker 1: His name was Kieren, and I don't remember how he
Speaker 1: was using it, but he was using the word stiffy,
Speaker 1: and I was like, stiffy. You say, what is it?
Speaker 1: What is a stiffy? And he was like, you don't
Speaker 1: know what a stiffy? He had older brothers, Yeah, he
Speaker 1: was like yeah. And I went to my brother and
Speaker 1: I was like, what's the stiffy? And he was like.
Speaker 1: My brother was like, you don't know what a stiff
Speaker 1: he is. Maybe he didn't know, but he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not telling you, bro. Yeah. So I went to
Speaker 1: mum and I was like, what's a stiffy? She wouldn't
Speaker 1: tell me. That's just wrong, thank you? Do you know?
Speaker 1: I was recapping one.
Speaker 2: Of the worst conversations I ever had with my mum,
Speaker 2: and that was her explained to me what an orgasm is.
Speaker 1: How old were we twelve?
Speaker 2: It makes so much.
Speaker 1: Sense now, doesn't that I did.
Speaker 2: We just have this school near us called Sant Augustine's
Speaker 2: and the nickname for it was Santa orgasms, and I
Speaker 2: was like, we'll say orgasms.
Speaker 1: Like some of the boys again to an orgasms. She
Speaker 1: was like, would you like to know what orgasms?
Speaker 2: I'm like no, and she she went on to try
Speaker 2: and explain it to me, but I was like, like,
Speaker 2: so distraught.
Speaker 1: Good on her, Good on her? Anyway? Did you call
Speaker 1: it orgasms? Following that, never, I never used the word
Speaker 1: ever again, genius missus Wicks. We'll play anyway. That's all
Speaker 1: we got time for. The builders need to get back
Speaker 1: to work. We need to get out of here, get
Speaker 1: back to They're all currently waiting like we had to
Speaker 1: come to the house of a podcaster. Yeah, waiting for
Speaker 1: me to give them the signal extra line back on
Speaker 1: the tools. Boys get who wants some tea and lemonade?
Speaker 1: I have to get them drinks at one thirty No,
Speaker 1: I promised them, Well, they can have big it's the
Speaker 1: biggies some lemonade.
Speaker 2: If you've enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone
Speaker 2: who needs a laugh parent and non parent definitely not
Speaker 2: a pet parent, otherwise we'll find out and leave us
Speaker 2: to review and subscribe as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, subscribe review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify watch us
Speaker 1: some shorts. Yeah whatever, do whatever, and yeah, if you
Speaker 1: have any advice for Ash's party, please send it up
Speaker 1: away because we want to make sure it's the Bash
Speaker 1: of the year. Yes, and don't forget.
Speaker 2: If you want to win this case of Stonewood, follow
Speaker 2: whatever Mat said earlier.
Speaker 1: Go back and listen to it again from the start.
Speaker 1: All right, sir, back two. Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the
Speaker 1: traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land,
Speaker 1: see and community.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Speaker 2: Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land