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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.

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Speaker 2: Traditions give you a sense of identity. So for people

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Speaker 2: with the faith background, that background becomes part of their identity.

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Speaker 2: But it might just be that your tradition is every

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Speaker 2: Easter you go camping in the rain.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, My mum

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Speaker 1: and dad. Bye.

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Speaker 2: This is doctor Justin Coilson. I'm the author of a

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Speaker 2: bunch of books about making families happy, and I'm here

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Speaker 2: with Kylie, my wife and podcast co host, mum to

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Speaker 2: our six daughters. We're going to talk about Easter in

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Speaker 2: just a second, but I wanted to share something with

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Speaker 2: you that just cracked me up. I was having a

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Speaker 2: chat with our second daughter. She's finished high school, having

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Speaker 2: a gap year, decided to do a trainee ship this

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Speaker 2: year before she goes off to UNI, and she's doing

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Speaker 2: a trainee ship in early childcare. You've been there, you

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Speaker 2: used to work with little kids yourself. She's been telling

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Speaker 2: me some stories about what it's like to be in

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Speaker 2: a room of little kids, like twenty twenty five little

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Speaker 2: kids been so funny.

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Speaker 3: It's definitely giving her some great experience.

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Speaker 2: So last night she said to me, Dad, I got

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Speaker 2: pooed on twice today. So it's got to be such

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Speaker 2: a hard and thankless job. And she's got this wonderful

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Speaker 2: appreciation for looking after kids now and what it is

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Speaker 2: to be out in the real world working. I just

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Speaker 2: love watching it. She also said that the other day

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Speaker 2: a kid kept on sitting on the toilet without pulling

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Speaker 2: their pants down and making a mess through every new

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Speaker 2: item of clothing, and it just reminded me of what

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Speaker 2: it used to be like when we had all these

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Speaker 2: little kids running around. I'm thinking of all of the

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Speaker 2: parents who listen to our podcast right now with under threes,

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Speaker 2: under fours, and just how taxing it is that the

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Speaker 2: whole toilet training thing, and the constantly picking up clothes,

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Speaker 2: that reek of body waste. It's such a hard job

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Speaker 2: and thankless and thankless as well. And then she said

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Speaker 2: to me, Dad, how do you tell the boys to

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Speaker 2: point down when they go to the tour?

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Speaker 3: How do you tell them to point down?

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Speaker 2: I didn't have an answer for it. Supposed to be

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Speaker 2: a parenting expert, how do you tell the boys to

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Speaker 2: point down? And she was like, have you ever had

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Speaker 2: to point it down, and I've got six daughters. I don't.

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Speaker 4: Hey, well, I'm just putting it out there. It could

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Speaker 4: be hard to teach a girl to point down too.

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Speaker 3: We've had a few we've missed the mark.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like it's anyway. I just thought it was

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Speaker 2: a really fun conversation to talk with this eighteen year

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Speaker 2: old who's living life outside of school now and getting

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Speaker 2: a real taste for what it is to be out

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Speaker 2: in the world. And she's doing this trainee ship. She's

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Speaker 2: doing great and looking forward to She loves what she's learning,

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Speaker 2: but it's also given her a taste of what else

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Speaker 2: she could do in life. And she's started to think

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Speaker 2: pretty seriously about what university is going to look like.

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Speaker 2: She thinks that university might be a bit easy than

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Speaker 2: dealing with all of these kids. Great life lesson. I

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Speaker 2: love it. So this weekend, it's the Easter weekend, Good Friday,

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Speaker 2: and we've got Saturday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday, and

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Speaker 2: I thought we'd do a podcast conversation about just the

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Speaker 2: different ways that we can celebrate Easter for people who

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Speaker 2: both do have and don't have a faith. Because it

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Speaker 2: is nowadays, it's quite a religious tradition. But even if

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Speaker 2: you're not religious, you still get the four days off, and.

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Speaker 3: You still eat a lot of chocolate, still need.

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Speaker 2: Way too much chocolate. I thought, wouldn't it be great

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Speaker 2: if we just talked about why traditions matter and some

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Speaker 2: Easter traditions that could work for people regardless of what

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Speaker 2: your faith background is or isn't.

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Speaker 4: Well, you've actually done a lot of research on this

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Speaker 4: and why traditions actually matter.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you want to share some of that.

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Speaker 2: With us, Yeah, and they matter whether you're religious or not.

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Speaker 2: So again, while this is about Easter, this is more

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Speaker 2: of a conversation about traditions generally. And if you are religious,

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Speaker 2: then you'll probably already have Easter traditions. If you're not,

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Speaker 2: the fact that you've got these four days off every

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Speaker 2: single year, it's guaranteed. If you're in one of the

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Speaker 2: Western countries that celebrates Easter, you've got four days off.

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Speaker 2: So why not create some traditions? And here's what the

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Speaker 2: research tells us. It says that traditions give you a

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Speaker 2: sense of identity. So for people with the faith background,

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Speaker 2: that faith background becomes part of their identity. But it

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Speaker 2: might just be that your tradition is every Easter you

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Speaker 2: go camping in the rain because it rains, it rains east,

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Speaker 2: at least on the East coast of Australia. You're pretty

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Speaker 2: much guaranteed to get work. But that's the tradition.

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Speaker 3: That's why we do not camp every star.

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Speaker 2: But that's who we are. It's kind of it becomes

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Speaker 2: your identity. They provide comfort and security. They give you

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Speaker 2: something to look forward to. They help you to navigate change,

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Speaker 2: because when everything else is going on, it's the one

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Speaker 2: steady constant that's always there. They help you to teach values.

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Speaker 2: You can pass on your ethnic or religious heritage. You

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Speaker 2: get taught skills around those traditions. Very often. They help

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Speaker 2: you to solve problems or make meaning in life. They

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Speaker 2: help you to heal from loss or trauma. And traditions

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Speaker 2: generate wonderful memories. That's just some of the stuff that

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Speaker 2: the science tells us.

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Speaker 4: When I think of the traditions that we have in

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Speaker 4: our family, they're gatherers. You know, our traditions gather us together,

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Speaker 4: bring they bring our extended family and grandparents, and you

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Speaker 4: know that's the joy that comes out at those traditions.

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Speaker 4: For me is the fact that we're all together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and they don't have to be complicated. So whenever

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Speaker 2: I think of a tradition, I'm like, oh, that means

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Speaker 2: we've got to get everyone together and we've got to

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Speaker 2: do all the work. But I was just thinking, as

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Speaker 2: you said, that one of my favorite traditions, and it's

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Speaker 2: passed from one generation to the next. When I was

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Speaker 2: a kid, we'd go and visit my nan and pop

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Speaker 2: in Auburn in Sydney's western suburbs, and as we would

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Speaker 2: leave their house in Cardigan Street, we'd drive down the

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Speaker 2: road with our heads out the window and we'd all

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Speaker 2: be screaming bye, and we'd be yelling by for as

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Speaker 2: long as we could hold our breath, which was all

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Speaker 2: the way to the other end of the street.

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Speaker 3: Did anyone ever faint, No.

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Speaker 2: No, But we must have upset some neighbors. Bet you did.

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Speaker 2: But it became just what we were. It was part

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Speaker 2: of our identity. It gave us that comfort and security,

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Speaker 2: and it was just part of who we were and

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Speaker 2: what we did. And now when we live, when we

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Speaker 2: leave a visit from any grandparent that we've been visiting,

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Speaker 2: it's the same thing. Our kids are out the window

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Speaker 2: screaming bye. It's a tradition and it can be literally

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Speaker 2: that simple. So after the break, we want to share

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Speaker 2: with you now that we know why traditions matter, regardless

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Speaker 2: of whether they are religious or not, we want to

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Speaker 2: talk to you about a handful of traditions that you

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Speaker 2: might try to make Easter more meaningful for your family.

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Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 5: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 5: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts

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Speaker 5: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 5: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at happy

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Speaker 5: families dot com, dot au slash shop.

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Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers now, And today we're

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Speaker 3: talking about Easter traditions and the ways in which we

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Speaker 3: can bring our families together.

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Speaker 2: One Easter tradition that I don't understand and you might

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Speaker 2: be able to help me with this is the whole

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Speaker 2: dying eggs. What's the deal with the dying of the eggs?

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Speaker 2: And I'm not trying to look for any kind of

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Speaker 2: symbolic or religious meaning. I just mean, doesn't that ruin

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Speaker 2: the egg.

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Speaker 3: Well, it depends how you define ruin. If you're asking

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Speaker 3: whether or not.

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Speaker 2: You're going to be able to eat the eggs, well, you.

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Speaker 3: Can eat it because it's just food dye that you

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Speaker 3: you know, and.

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Speaker 2: It's only on the shell, isn't it. I mean you

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Speaker 2: just it's a crafty.

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Speaker 3: You're going to end up with a red.

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Speaker 2: Egg or a blue egg or it goes through the

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Speaker 2: shell and into the egg. Yeah, and it's still edible.

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Speaker 4: It's the same die. Well, it's the same die that

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Speaker 4: you would dye your icing, your cake icing.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm happy to eat cake icing, so of course

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Speaker 2: you are. I can't imagine eating a green green eggs

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Speaker 2: and ham. We've just created a new Easter tradition. Let's

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Speaker 2: do it. We should do it this weekend and make.

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Speaker 3: That I don't know if I could eat green eggs.

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Speaker 2: Really, don't you do not like them? Sam Ie?

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Speaker 3: So I don't think I do you need to try them?

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Speaker 2: I reckon, We've got to do it. So, so, the

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Speaker 2: decorating of the eggs is probably one of the most

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Speaker 2: well known Easter traditions.

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Speaker 3: Look, and I don't really know you know how it started.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to assume that you know, it was something

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Speaker 4: that was readily available, and it's cheap and allows families

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Speaker 4: to kind of decorate something without you know, kind of

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Speaker 4: spinning a lot of money.

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Speaker 2: So it's just a fun tradition. Yeah, get a bit

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Speaker 2: of a bit of dye on your hands and create

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Speaker 2: a bit of color on some eggs.

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Speaker 4: Well, lots of families have done totally different things, and

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Speaker 4: you know, using leaves and you know, kind of tying

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Speaker 4: the leaves around and then putting them in. They kind

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Speaker 4: of create these wonderful patterns with nature. That's a really

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Speaker 4: cool thing to do. What ended up with a green egg?

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Speaker 2: What other the traditions do we have?

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Speaker 4: Well, you can't go past the hot Cross barns. They've

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Speaker 4: been in our store since about I don't know.

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Speaker 2: December, how I reckon December. As soon as Christmas was gone,

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Speaker 2: the Cross plans and by the.

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Speaker 3: Time Easter comes along, we've all had enough of them.

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Speaker 4: But they're there, and I do I do appreciate that

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Speaker 4: they've kind of expanded the palette a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so there's chocolate in some of them now, Yes,

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Speaker 2: it's the way to be. And you're also we bought

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Speaker 2: a Thermo mix years ago you said, this is going

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Speaker 2: to revolutionize our kitchen. It's going to change everything. We

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Speaker 2: use the Thermo mix for two things, making milkshakes, oh

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Speaker 2: my goodness, and then at Easter you make some cinnamon

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Speaker 2: scrolly kind of things. They are They're actually really good.

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Speaker 2: I don't think they were worth the price of a Thermo.

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Speaker 2: They're really good. We have a faith background, and so

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Speaker 2: we have a faith related tradition where every Easter you

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Speaker 2: write a letter to our children about your feelings about faith.

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Speaker 4: So a few years ago I realized that, in spite

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Speaker 4: of the fact that obviously, with that faith background, we

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Speaker 4: have daily conversations with our children about our beliefs, that

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Speaker 4: I wasn't necessarily intentional and very specific about how it

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Speaker 4: made me feel. And a handful of years ago I

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Speaker 4: realized that there was so much chocolate. There was just

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Speaker 4: so much chocolate, with grandparents giving them chocolate and us

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Speaker 4: giving them chocolate, there was just so much chocolate.

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Speaker 2: We need to talk about the chocolate traditions in a sector,

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Speaker 2: by the way.

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Speaker 4: And so I realized that I kind of wanted to

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Speaker 4: change the emphasis of our Easter celebration. And so I

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Speaker 4: determined two things and two traditions have come out of

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Speaker 4: it as a result. Firstly, I wanted to explain to

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Speaker 4: each of our children in words that were understandable to them,

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Speaker 4: how I felt about Easter and what it meant to me.

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Speaker 4: And so the Easter Letter was born. And that's given

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Speaker 4: me an opportunity to write six different letters at different

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Speaker 4: levels of understanding and explanation of what Easter actually means

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Speaker 4: to me.

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Speaker 2: And you've been doing this every Easter for several years now,

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Speaker 2: and six letters takes some time, it does. Have you

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Speaker 2: got them all done for.

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Speaker 3: This year yet I haven't started.

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Speaker 2: You've got a lot to do over the next few days. Wow.

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Speaker 2: But what's the other tradition that's been born.

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Speaker 3: It's not that I don't want to give them chocolate.

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Speaker 2: But I don't want, yeah, from minimize the focus on chocolate.

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Speaker 3: The Easter stocking or it's an Easter bag.

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Speaker 2: It's not a stocking.

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Speaker 4: It's in the shape of a stocking, but a little

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Speaker 4: Easter bag came and so the letter goes inside the

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Speaker 4: bag and then they have a very very small bag

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Speaker 4: of Easter treats.

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Speaker 3: It's about ten little mini eggs in it, and that's

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Speaker 3: all they get from us for Easter.

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Speaker 4: So I fill it with things that are bunny related,

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Speaker 4: or egg related or chicken related, like an Easter bag. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: so it might be some new pajamas, it might be

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Speaker 4: some bonny slippers. But it also might just be a

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Speaker 4: little book that has a bunny on it with somebody

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Speaker 4: loves You or.

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Speaker 2: Some Bunny loves You. I think that's cute. A couple

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Speaker 2: of other Easter traditions, We've got to talk about the

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Speaker 2: chocolate because it's become it's become Easter for so many families,

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Speaker 2: and it's also become the bane of Easter for so

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Speaker 2: many families.

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Speaker 4: I asked our team actually what they do around Easter eggs,

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Speaker 4: and Elizabeth said that one of the things that they've

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Speaker 4: always done is an Easter a hunt, which I think

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Speaker 4: most families.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great tradition. So much have to do.

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Speaker 3: You can't get away get away from the Easter a hunt.

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Speaker 2: I really like it when the kids get all the

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Speaker 2: eggs that they've found on the hunt and they pulled

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Speaker 2: them and then they divide them evenly instead of trying

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Speaker 2: to steal them off everyone. That makes my heart sing.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't happen every year, but we try to encourage that.

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Speaker 2: What Elizabeth Say with her family.

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Speaker 4: She said, in the early days, they were, you know,

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Speaker 4: super organized and awesome, and they would actually we hide

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Speaker 4: the eggs. They would make a really big effort to

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Speaker 4: make this really tricky for them. Over the years, they've

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Speaker 4: become a little bit more slack, and so now I

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Speaker 4: think they just sand on the veranda and they kind

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Speaker 4: of just scatter the eggs on the grass, scramble to

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Speaker 4: just throw the eggs.

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Speaker 3: And the funny thing is the kids are going to

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Speaker 3: enjoy it no matter what. Right, they're just collecting chocolate.

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Speaker 4: But one of the memories that I have for our

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Speaker 4: kids is actually something that your mum has done.

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Speaker 3: And she she just loves.

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Speaker 2: Making, loves giving. She's just generous.

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Speaker 4: And the Easter egg hunt at your mum's house is

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Speaker 4: not a tricky one at all.

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Speaker 3: You can as soon.

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Speaker 4: As you wake up the Easter Bunny's being because you

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Speaker 4: can see all of those beautiful sparkling eggs all scattered

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Speaker 4: over the carpet down They're just everywhere. But what else

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Speaker 4: is there is half eaten carrots.

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Speaker 3: She gets the new carrots with.

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Speaker 2: The carrots with the green stems or whatever, all the

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Speaker 2: greeny stuff coming out of the top. What do you

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Speaker 2: call that?

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Speaker 4: Whatever it is, We happened to be there on Saturday

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Speaker 4: night and we hadn't gone to bed yet, and we

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Speaker 4: watched your mum and she nibbled all the ends of

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Speaker 4: these carrots before she scattered them along the floor because

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Speaker 4: Easter Buddy was eating the whole time.

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Speaker 3: He was scattering eggs around the house. And then there's

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Speaker 3: little footprints that she's put out, and.

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Speaker 2: They eat bunny footprints.

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Speaker 3: The next morning, the kids get up and it's just

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Speaker 3: so exciting because.

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Speaker 2: The bunny's left magical.

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Speaker 3: All these eggs for them to enjoy.

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Speaker 2: So that's pretty much all of them. You've got one

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Speaker 2: more that you want to share.

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Speaker 3: We do a cousin craft day.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes we do.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 4: My sisters and I are all pretty crafty and so

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Speaker 4: we pulled together our ideas and we bring the cousins

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Speaker 4: together and even the boys get involved in this and

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Speaker 4: it's lots of fun. And so last year we made

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Speaker 4: these gorgeous little carrots out of cardboard and we sewed

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Speaker 4: up the seams and then they filled them with Easter

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Speaker 4: eggs and they had little green.

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Speaker 2: Tufts of greenery. We must work out what that's called.

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Speaker 3: They looked so cute, and then they could go and

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Speaker 3: drop them off at their friends places. It was so

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Speaker 3: much fun.

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Speaker 2: Well, we hope that those ideas are helpful for you

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Speaker 2: to make your or Easter more meaningful, more traditional, or

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Speaker 2: to create new traditions for yourself. We'd also love to

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Speaker 2: hear about your Eastern traditions. Maybe you do something that

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Speaker 2: we have no idea, could be a really great idea.

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Speaker 2: If you do, send us an email let us know

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Speaker 2: podcasts that's podcasts with an s at happy families dot

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Speaker 2: com dot au. The Happy Families podcast is produced by

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Speaker 2: Justin Rulon from Bridge Media. Our executive producer is Craig Bruce,

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Speaker 2: and we just love getting your feedback so that other

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Speaker 2: people can find out about the podcast and make their

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Speaker 2: families happier. If you're enjoying what you're hearing, please go

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Speaker 2: to Apple Podcasts and leave a five star rating and

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Speaker 2: review so that everyone else gets to find out the

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Speaker 2: stuff that you're finding out. If you'd like more information,

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Speaker 2: by the way, about making your family happier, we've got books,

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Speaker 2: we've got resources, we've got a Happy Families membership, and

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Speaker 2: a whole lot more. You can get it all at

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Speaker 2: Happy families, dot com, dot au,