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Speaker 1: The Rise and Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of

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Speaker 1: the land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen

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Speaker 1: Bear region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their

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Speaker 1: connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect

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Speaker 1: to their elders past and present and extend that respect

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Speaker 1: to all Aboriginal and Terrestride Islander peoples today. Hello and

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Speaker 1: welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This is

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Speaker 1: the podcast for ordinary people who want to do extraordinary things.

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Speaker 2: Being in charge of another human yet to be so present,

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Speaker 2: It's exhausting. It's fucking exhausting.

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Speaker 1: You can managing that many people's like all my little children.

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Speaker 2: It's like I'd rather manage twenty people.

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Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Potty.

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Speaker 1: It is your host, Georgie Stevenson, lawyer turned entrepreneur, business owner,

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Speaker 1: new Mum or the Things. Today. We have a very

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Speaker 1: special guess, Timothy, my husband, Believe it or not, I

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Speaker 1: the girl actually turned one yesterday. So we thought we'd

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Speaker 1: bring you a bit of a fun sentimental episode. And

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Speaker 1: basically what we did is we popped a thread in

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Speaker 1: a Facebook group and we asked you guys, like what

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Speaker 1: cues you have for me and Tim about parenthood, relationship, everything.

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Speaker 1: There were so many good ones. We actually spoke so

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Speaker 1: much that we recorded another episode, so look out for

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Speaker 1: that sometime in December. Today we are chatting all about

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Speaker 1: our transition into parenthood, what it's been like having Tim

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Speaker 1: take the stay at home dad role and me going

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Speaker 1: back to work, how it's affected our relationship, how navigating

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Speaker 1: you know, our first year of parenthood, how we still

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Speaker 1: prioritize each other, and literally everything in between. Now, I

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Speaker 1: do want to just give a bit of a warning

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Speaker 1: because I know we go a bit rogue in our episodes,

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Speaker 1: but like Tim is just a whole other level and

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Speaker 1: he does not hold back. He very much. He says

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Speaker 1: what he's thinking and God bless his sweet cotton socks. Ah,

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Speaker 1: So look take everything he says with a grain of us.

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Speaker 1: I just want to say, it's not the opinions of

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Speaker 1: the podcast, it's just the opinions of Tim. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: they're funny, you know, you know what he reminds me

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Speaker 1: of like a typical like Aussie bloke. Yeah, are like

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Speaker 1: alaricin Yeah, guys, he is so honest for you and yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think you're gonna love it, especially if you're just

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Speaker 1: here for a laugh, you're gonna love it. If you

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Speaker 1: have a new baby, you're gonna love it. It's just it's

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Speaker 1: a bit of fun.

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Speaker 3: It is, and I think everyone will enjoy this episode.

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Speaker 1: But before we get into it, very quickly, at TIA

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Speaker 1: Weekly Recommendation, you go first.

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Speaker 3: So mine is it is Netflix, but it is amazing.

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Speaker 3: So it's a show on there called Pepsi Where's My Jet?

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Speaker 3: And it just came out a few days ago and

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Speaker 3: I've watched about one and a half episodes so far.

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Speaker 3: It's only four episodes. It's a little docu series and

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Speaker 3: it's about in the nineties. I think Pepsi did a

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Speaker 3: campaign and they launched something called Pepsi Points where you

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Speaker 3: got a point per Pepsi can you bought and then

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Speaker 3: you could redeem it for Pepsi merch And in one

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Speaker 3: of their ads, as a joke, they said seven million

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Speaker 3: Pepsi points and you get a free Fighter jet, but

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Speaker 3: they didn't write that. It was a joke on there,

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Speaker 3: and someone tried to get the jet from them because

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Speaker 3: you could buy Pepsi points.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: And this guy obviously was a dreamer had a millionaire

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Speaker 3: friend and said, will you pay seven hundred k to

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Speaker 3: get me a Fighter jet to buy these Pepsi points

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Speaker 3: And the millionaire friend said yes. And it's about like

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Speaker 3: the court case and their process and everything they had

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Speaker 3: to go through with Pepsi trying to get this jet

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Speaker 3: because of their advertising, and it's just amazing.

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Speaker 1: What a fucking shit show. I know that sounds like

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Speaker 1: my worst nightmare, but I loved it and I will

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Speaker 1: not be watching it.

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Speaker 3: It's I got the lawyers and the marketing team, the

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Speaker 3: Pepsi execs and just like the process of they were

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Speaker 3: like this is clearly a joke, Like what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: And this guy was like, you didn't say that? And

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Speaker 1: it's just amazing. Yeah, so highly recommend. I loved a

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Speaker 1: good watch. What about you? What's your recommend? Day? Look,

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Speaker 1: she's come in with another book and it's a Colin

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Speaker 1: Hoover book. So there's not much else I'm doing right now.

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Speaker 1: But it's not a romance. It's a thriller. Ah, a

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Speaker 1: bit crazy. It's called Verity, and you guys recommended it

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Speaker 1: when I put my little poll of what shuld I

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Speaker 1: read next? Pretty intense? Wow, I do want to give

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Speaker 1: a trigger warning of child abuse like having a new baby.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I felt like reading it. I felt

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Speaker 1: a bit anxious, and I just I needed to finish

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Speaker 1: it and I finished it in like forty eight hours

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Speaker 1: because I needed to know the ending. But it has

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Speaker 1: an amazing twist. I would just be very conscious of,

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Speaker 1: pretty heavy, pretty full on, but like great twists the whole.

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Speaker 1: Like the book was amazing. It was just very full

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Speaker 1: on and yeah, I'm probably going to go back to

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Speaker 1: romance stuff to that, but it was pretty good. I'll

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Speaker 1: give it that. Okay, with it to my list, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm starting. It starts with us and we'll see where

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Speaker 1: I go. All right in saying that, let's get into

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Speaker 1: the show. Okay.

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Speaker 3: Our first question, how has your life changed since becoming

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Speaker 3: a parent?

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Speaker 2: Pretty stressful stress. No, the biggest change is for me personally.

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Speaker 2: I think I don't have any time to do anything

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Speaker 2: but what I used to do. I've got all my

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Speaker 2: jobs on top of my new job, and I'm just

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Speaker 2: like running around crazy.

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Speaker 1: You do have a lot less you time or any

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Speaker 1: time anytime. It's probably like if you think to any

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Speaker 1: transition in our lives of getting together, getting engaged, getting married,

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Speaker 1: moving houses, or the starting businesses. It's the biggest thing

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Speaker 1: that changes your life, correct, would you agree?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, Like everything changes.

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Speaker 2: I like even going to the shops to get milk

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Speaker 2: and bread. I just want to go to the shops

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Speaker 2: and just get milk and bread.

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Speaker 1: How does that go down?

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Speaker 2: This baby? And then she's crying, and then you got

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Speaker 2: to be and then you got a bag and then

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Speaker 2: you gotta put it in a trolley to walk her around,

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Speaker 2: and then she shipps herself and then you go to

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Speaker 2: go to the parents room and deal with other screaming

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Speaker 2: kids in the parents' room, and then I can get

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Speaker 2: my milk and bread. But like, literally, like a normally

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Speaker 2: a five ten minute thing turns into forty five minutes.

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Speaker 1: It makes everything hard having a child, and then even

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Speaker 1: stuff of me And the other day, what did we

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Speaker 1: do where we were really excited, Oh, when we went

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Speaker 1: to car races and we're all like so excited about it,

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Speaker 1: and we're like, oh, who's gonna look after I Like

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Speaker 1: we just didn't think about it. And then we're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we're going to cast the babysitter.

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Speaker 2: Babysitter. But it's nice getting a babysitter and having but

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Speaker 2: a time every now and then?

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Speaker 1: Did that answer your question?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? What has it been like being the stay at

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Speaker 3: home dad and Georgie going back to work?

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Speaker 2: I love it now. I do love it because I

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Speaker 2: used to it. So I used to like when you

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Speaker 2: I would be at work and like you'd be like

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Speaker 2: someone would be You'd like know another stadium, Dad, You'd

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Speaker 2: be like, oh man, I wish I had that life.

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Speaker 2: But like now I have that life. So it's like

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Speaker 2: I don't want to take it for granted. So I

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Speaker 2: do love it, but it definitely has its like moment.

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Speaker 2: It's a big life change for me.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Was there any backlash when you guys first sort of

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Speaker 3: made that decision?

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Speaker 1: And how did you handle it?

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Speaker 2: I sort of put me in for it, really, I'll

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 1: Well. Yeah, I don't think anyone has really said anything

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Speaker 1: to us, not even like I think from the start

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Speaker 1: it was always kind of what we even said before

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Speaker 1: we got pregnant, Yeah, that you wanted to be the

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Speaker 1: stay at home dad.

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Speaker 2: Always, even I reckon it was even going to happen,

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Speaker 2: like way back when when you're going to be like

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Speaker 2: a lawyer. Yeah, and then I'm like, I would just

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Speaker 2: be the sad dad because you probably make more money

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Speaker 2: than me. That's it.

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Speaker 1: It is, what it is, is what it is.

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Speaker 3: Our third question, what are the hard parts of being

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Speaker 3: a stay at.

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Speaker 2: Home dad, everything, the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: What sort of shocked you the most that you didn't

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Speaker 3: expect would be as difficult as it is?

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Speaker 2: Like a simple tasks like having breakfast. I just can't

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Speaker 2: have breakfast. I can't have breakfast. But it's like it's

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Speaker 2: the mission just to like cook my own breakfast and

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Speaker 2: stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: Would you say that, like, from at the start compared

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Speaker 1: to now, do you feel like you've kind of like

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Speaker 1: hacked it a little bit where you're like, you know

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Speaker 1: what to do, everything's in routine. But that initial shock

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Speaker 1: was like ye, to change everything to suit her rather

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Speaker 1: than just doing things that you wanted to do, which

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Speaker 1: is what you would do previously.

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Speaker 2: That's right, but it's always like changing. So it's like

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Speaker 2: you get a routine.

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Speaker 1: Her routine change like yeah.

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Speaker 2: You know, a couple of weeks you're like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: this is I'm good now, but then it's like morment changes.

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Speaker 1: Run us through. What's your morning routine with Ivy?

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Speaker 2: Morning routine. She gets up, we have a little bit

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Speaker 2: of a play What time? What times she get up?

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Speaker 2: Six thirty, six thirty six forty, have a little play,

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Speaker 2: a little play bottle. At seven she watches a bit

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Speaker 2: of a bit of cartoons and then she generally loses

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Speaker 2: her shit by seven thirty and then wants to be fed.

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Speaker 3: Define losing shit, she'll just don't.

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Speaker 2: Have kids, okay, so people let them have kids, So

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Speaker 2: losing their shit, she would just be throwing tantrums. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And it's like Mum said, hey, she's like probably a

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Speaker 2: bit early to be throwing tantrums. But I wouldn't say

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Speaker 2: he's throwing tentions. It's more just like just sitting there

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Speaker 2: and crying, like a baby's cry is just like ear piercing,

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Speaker 2: isn't it. It's just like someone else.

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Speaker 1: You're not giving her attention though, or she's.

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Speaker 2: Just no, Well I don't know, because I'll literally give

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Speaker 2: her attention and I'll walk away to make a coffee

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Speaker 2: for about a minute, and then she'll just start crying,

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Speaker 2: just like, just give me a minute to make me

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Speaker 2: coffee because I need this coffee to keep going.

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Speaker 1: And then when do you make your breakfast? What time?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'll give her while she's eating her breakfast, like

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Speaker 2: her finger food breakfast. I'll make my.

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Speaker 1: Abbotised what's her finger food breakfast?

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Speaker 2: I did the wee bixing yesterday actually, and she was

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Speaker 2: everywhere everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it was so you wouldn't like that, but she

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Speaker 1: liked it.

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Speaker 2: She loved it. Yeah, that all she has like a

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Speaker 2: little bit of sour dough with a bit of peanut butter.

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Speaker 2: She loves that and she just jump on it. And

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Speaker 2: then some I'll cut up some grapes and she has

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Speaker 2: some grapes because she loves like the juicy coldness. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then yeah, so then I'll eat and then clean

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Speaker 2: it up, clean everything else, clean the dishes, clean the kitchen,

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Speaker 2: and then we'll play and do something for like maybe

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Speaker 2: like forty five minutes. And then she goes to bed

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Speaker 2: at nine o'clock that's the morning.

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Speaker 1: And then what do you do while she's in bed?

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Speaker 2: Housework? Like what like, what do you mean we've got

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Speaker 2: an eight hundred square meter house that needs to be cleaned.

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Speaker 2: I'll vacuum all like, slow down everything, literally vacuum. You

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Speaker 2: wouldn't you don't even know. I vacuum every fucking day,

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Speaker 2: because there's just stuff to vacuum, Like there's just stuff everywhere,

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Speaker 2: especially cleaning up after you I'm pretty icy, but it's

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Speaker 2: just nice having a nice clean house, you know that,

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Speaker 2: Or they'll be washing I'll got to tidy up outside

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Speaker 2: something at the minute we're doing hep rho. So there's

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Speaker 2: always something to do.

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Speaker 3: And then what time does Ivy wake up from her

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Speaker 3: first nap?

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Speaker 2: Probably like eleven, and then what do you do?

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Speaker 1: The whole thing starts again? Who in the morning? What

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Speaker 1: are the best parts of being stay at.

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Speaker 2: Home dad watching Ivy girl every day? And then like

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Speaker 2: the good parts when she like laughs and stuff, it's

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Speaker 2: just like hilarious, Like we muck around, like she'll like

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Speaker 2: have a winge. But like when I'm she's very clingy

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Speaker 2: baby like, so when I'm work with her, she just

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Speaker 2: like loves it and we'll like laugh and just do

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Speaker 2: heaps of like just funny stuff.

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Speaker 1: Well that's generally when she loses her shi it's because

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Speaker 1: you're not giving her attention. That's right, your attention on

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Speaker 1: her all the time, Like I feel like any child,

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Speaker 1: it's quite normal. And so Tim's like I just want

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Speaker 1: to make my coffee. Yeah, I just want to go journal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, pretty much.

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Speaker 3: That Our next question, how do you deal with any

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Speaker 3: resentment about the other person in parenthood, so the stay

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Speaker 3: at home parent versus the working parent.

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Speaker 1: So like you know how you'll make comments and be like, well,

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Speaker 1: I didn't get to go and work all day without Ivy,

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Speaker 1: Like clearly there's a bit of resentment there that I

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Speaker 1: go to work without a child or not that work

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Speaker 1: with a child.

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Speaker 2: Being in charge of another human you have to be

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Speaker 2: so present exhausting, it's fucking exhausting, Like you can you.

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Speaker 1: Can managing that many people. It's like all my little children,

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Speaker 1: but it's like that.

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Speaker 2: It's like, you know, I'd rather manage twenty people. That's

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Speaker 2: a lot like it.

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Speaker 1: So like draining, it's so how do we deal with

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Speaker 1: that side of things of me doing something different and

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Speaker 1: you know obviously those feelings would come up. How do

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Speaker 1: you deal with that?

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Speaker 2: Well, I my go to thing is to clear my

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Speaker 2: head is go and play golf, and that's how I

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Speaker 2: deal with it.

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Speaker 1: And then you kind of fill your cut back up

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm look good again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I just I definitely need that, Like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: probably even like one day a week really, or even

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Speaker 2: like half a day a week.

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Speaker 1: Well, is that something that you recommend? You know, if

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Speaker 1: there is stay at home mums and they're feeling a

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Speaker 1: bit resentful to their partner, what would you.

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Speaker 2: Say, absolutely, like, you just need to just go listen,

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Speaker 2: you need to take our child for like six hours

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Speaker 2: and then give me some time and then go do

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Speaker 2: wherever you wanted to go for a walk on the beach,

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Speaker 2: just out, get a babysitter, and then recharge, because then

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Speaker 2: you can just keep you on. Otherwise you'll just burn

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Speaker 2: yourself out and it just dig yourself a whole.

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Speaker 1: I think another thing too, because often that will be

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't say it's a fight with that, but if

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Speaker 1: Tim makes a comment like that to me, it can

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Speaker 1: sometimes make me feel undervalued because I'm like, well, I

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Speaker 1: get it, but I also work all day and then

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Speaker 1: I look after Ivan. I'm also very exhausted. Yeah. But

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Speaker 1: then what I do is I put myself in Tim's position,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I do understand where the frustration is

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Speaker 1: coming from. But then I hope he would do the

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Speaker 1: same to me.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think I do.

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Speaker 3: That was the other question I had, Georgie, or do

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Speaker 3: you often feel resentment for Tim getting to stay at

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Speaker 3: home all day.

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Speaker 2: It's you coming to work.

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Speaker 1: I don't go the other way. Sometimes I literally think

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Speaker 1: to myself, like when I'm having stress from work and

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Speaker 1: then coming home, like it happened the other day because

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Speaker 1: I was having a really stressful day around managing people

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Speaker 1: and kind of stresses with financial stuff and business, and

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Speaker 1: then I came home and Tim had had a bad day,

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Speaker 1: so then he was in a mood, and like it,

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Speaker 1: we were both clashing, and you know, I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I'd love to just not have the stress

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Speaker 1: about this and to just spend my whole day with Ivy.

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Speaker 1: But it's your typical thing of what you don't experience.

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Speaker 1: You think that other thing is easier, but it never is. Like,

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Speaker 1: I know how hard it is to look after Ivy

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Speaker 1: for a whole day, and so I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: the easy way out, being like, oh, but you get

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Speaker 1: it so good, so you can have I think it's

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Speaker 1: very normal to have those split second thoughts and you know,

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Speaker 1: that sort of thing. But I've just got to like

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Speaker 1: I've just retrained my brain and being like, no, I'm

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Speaker 1: so passionate about my job and I've just had a

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Speaker 1: bad day, and you know, usually Tim's had a good

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Speaker 1: day too, and we come home, we have family time.

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Speaker 1: Like sometimes it's just like one thing after the other.

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Speaker 1: And during those times, I just have to kind of

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Speaker 1: be like it's all good, like it's it's just a

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Speaker 1: bad day. It's you know the quote, it's just a

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Speaker 1: bad day, it's not a bad life, yeah, sort of thing.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes they get a bit spicy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like if I have a bad day at work

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Speaker 1: and then Tim's and Tim's I can't do this anymore

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, you had no idea what stress is.

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Speaker 1: It's like we clash so much, but then like we

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Speaker 1: just get over it.

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Speaker 2: I think because I've had such a big life change

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Speaker 2: from what I normally do and then I'm taking this

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Speaker 2: role and then because I know, I'm like, oh, well

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Speaker 2: you just you're just still doing what you've always done,

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Speaker 2: so like you've you've got a pretty good handle on it.

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Speaker 2: I'm just learning every day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's a bit hard for me, Yeah, my best Well,

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Speaker 1: that's I think about that too. Like it is like,

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Speaker 1: as a family, to the transition is so big that

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Speaker 1: often you feel these feelings that just feel so big.

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Speaker 1: But you've got to learn to like self regulate them.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise they just like control you and you explode. And

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Speaker 1: that's I think. I remember in that situation where I

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Speaker 1: could tell we were both like had enough the day,

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Speaker 1: I kind of just decide not to engage with Tim

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Speaker 1: very much. Yeah, because I kind of knew what my

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Speaker 1: you know, what would happen if we did. So I

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Speaker 1: just was like and I we just don't speak a

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Speaker 1: little bit, and I just do Ivy and I just

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Speaker 1: take her upstairs and he just goes outside. And then

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Speaker 1: we usually have a shower and we're able to you know,

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Speaker 1: get it together. And then as soon as Ivy's in

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Speaker 1: bed and me and Tim can have some time in bed,

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Speaker 1: usually like it's I go to sleep.

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Speaker 2: Literally my head, I'm just like five minutes.

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Speaker 1: Me and Tim have this joke because I'll be reading

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Speaker 1: my book and he'll be like, Babe, I want to

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Speaker 1: go to sleep. Turn off the light and it's like

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Speaker 1: seven thirty or like, and I'm like, no, I want

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Speaker 1: to read my book. And he's like, I can't get

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Speaker 1: to sleep with the lights on. I'm like, that's the

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Speaker 1: biggest lie you've ever told. You can sleep through anything,

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Speaker 1: and you can get to sleep and then no joke,

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Speaker 1: He'll turn on his side and two seconds later he's

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Speaker 1: like snoring. And then in the morning we have like

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Speaker 1: a laugh.

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Speaker 2: No, what's I'll go, I bet you I can stay

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Speaker 2: awake for five minutes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, I bet you'll keep me await for

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Speaker 1: five minutes. And he's always a sweep and I'm just

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Speaker 1: like gone, and I'm like, shut up. He reckons. He

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Speaker 1: like can't get to sleep with certain things. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: it's like the same vibe.

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Speaker 3: We have our next question, how has your mental health

381
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Speaker 3: been since taking on your new roles as parents.

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Speaker 2: That's a great question.

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Speaker 1: Actually not good. You'll see the video footage. Jim looks

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Speaker 1: a bit frazzled.

385
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Speaker 2: Drink of mine. I'm sweet, Jim, it's not. I am.

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Speaker 2: I've converted to alcohol every day, guys, I have that. Hey,

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Speaker 2: not every day, but just like a beer a day,

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Speaker 2: a beer. Yeah, at the end of the day. It

389
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Speaker 2: definitely helped. Yeah, I mean it's been pretty test for

390
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Speaker 2: me mentally, so I feel don't used to have a

391
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Speaker 2: physical job, but I'm more drained looking after Ivy and

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Speaker 2: not doing much physical stuff. And I would have been

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Speaker 2: after a full days.

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Speaker 1: Of work because of the mental drain it takes.

395
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Speaker 2: Because of the mental drain. Like I'm just like but

396
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Speaker 2: thinks I'm not wide like that.

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Speaker 1: But I think mental health wise, I think we have

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Speaker 1: both gone through. I think anytime you have a big

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Speaker 1: transition in your life, you've got to, you know, I guess,

400
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Speaker 1: be able to understand what's happening. And I guess I can.

401
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Speaker 1: We could both understand while why people get postnatal depression,

402
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Speaker 1: would you agree? Yeah, absolutely, Like the mental health is

403
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Speaker 1: having a child.

404
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Speaker 2: Like especially like we're pretty lucky in our.

405
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Speaker 1: Situation because we've got each other.

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Speaker 2: Well that's right, yeah, but yeah, like for people that

407
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Speaker 2: just literally just have to look after maybe all the time,

408
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Speaker 2: or like you know, like single parents, like be so

409
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Speaker 2: I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: Your mental health being though since having Ivy? Do you

411
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Speaker 1: feel like it's been fine or do you feel like

412
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Speaker 1: you've had days.

413
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Speaker 2: Where yeah, up and down days, but generally it's it's

414
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Speaker 2: all good because it's like it's like, yeah, Ivy's worth

415
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Speaker 2: it because it's you know, yeah, but it's a it's

416
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Speaker 2: a constant. You just got going to keep working on

417
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Speaker 2: my mental health, I guess.

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Speaker 1: And what do you do to work on your mental health, lots.

419
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Speaker 2: Of meditation in the mornings. Otherwise I've actually been a

420
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 2: bit slight lately, was I to say, But like that

421
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Speaker 2: generally does help, and like a bit of breath work,

422
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Speaker 2: just like calm, calm, mind.

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Speaker 3: When were you doing it the most? Like what period

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Speaker 3: of time are you super consistent with it?

425
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Speaker 1: Don't don't you think we really introduced it when we

426
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Speaker 1: were kind of going through those stages where like Ivy

427
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 1: would just cry all the time and me and you

428
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: were both like, I'm literally like patient wise, I'm like

429
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Speaker 1: I'm about to lose my ash hit.

430
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Speaker 2: I told we haven't really done it for I've done

431
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Speaker 2: it like here and there, but like for like three

432
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Speaker 2: months really like because that's when obviously I being really good,

433
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Speaker 2: and it was like, oh, like.

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Speaker 1: It's honestly with babies. I feel like our experience was

435
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Speaker 1: the newborn stage was fucked. Yeah, But then six from

436
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Speaker 1: six months on you kind of are like I can

437
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Speaker 1: do this. Before six months, I was like I can't

438
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 1: do this, And then up six months and then eight

439
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 1: months you're.

440
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 2: Like, this is easy, especially for the first I reckon

441
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 2: when we have a second, we're like, no, what to do?

442
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 2: What walk in the park?

443
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 1: With my mental health. I think I've definitely struggled with

444
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: my big thing that I've spoken a lot about on

445
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 1: the potty is just like I used to use my

446
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 1: me time as my creative zone to then like in work,

447
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,840
Speaker 1: so like work hours, I actually just do the things

448
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 1: and work, and then I would use like my weekends

449
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 1: and my me time to think of create of ideas

450
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 1: for work, which I obviously then lost when I had Ivy.

451
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 1: So I really struggled with that side of things. And

452
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: I think also just like the hormones and everything happening

453
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 1: in a woman's body like when they have a baby,

454
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 1: is just there's a lot like I have often this

455
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: whole year felt like quite foggy. That's the only way

456
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,199
Speaker 1: I can explain it, which I know is very normal.

457
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,120
Speaker 1: And I actually said too my acura punctures. Last night,

458
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 1: I said, for the first time since having Ivy, I

459
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 1: feel clear and like I can do this. And you know,

460
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: she's a year and two months, so it's taken me

461
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,199
Speaker 1: the whole year to get to the point where like

462
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: mentally I feel like, Okay, I get what's happening, I

463
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 1: can do this, and I guess like a lot more myself,

464
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: but it's taken the whole year.

465
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 2: Do you think if we didn't, like move house, like

466
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: have so much on this year, that it would have

467
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 2: taken a short time to reach out because we've had

468
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: a pretty big year. Yeah, like moving house.

469
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 1: I don't know, like you know, I don't know.

470
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I made it better.

471
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's but that's the thing. I don't think

472
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: it will logically make sense when you feel yourself after

473
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: a baby. I think, to be completely honest, it's when

474
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 1: I've been prioritizing my morning routine, how I'm getting up

475
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 1: earlier and I'm going to gym, and I'm like, prioritizing

476
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: time for myself has been really huge. And also a

477
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 1: big thing is I struggled a lot with like the

478
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,360
Speaker 1: mum guilt of oh I should be at home, Oh

479
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 1: I'm choosing work over Ivy. But then lately I've just

480
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: been like fuck that I'm not doing mum gilt. Like

481
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,199
Speaker 1: I know we're doing what's best for Ivy and I

482
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,439
Speaker 1: know it's different, but I think I'm so okay with

483
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: it that I'm like, I think that's a big thing too,

484
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: Like I had to give myself permission to then go,

485
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 1: actually I am going to step up and just you know,

486
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: be myself and you know, let's get things sorted.

487
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 3: Next question, this one's a bit more quick fire. But

488
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 3: what is the best thing that you do to fill

489
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 3: up your cup?

490
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 1: Mentally?

491
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 2: Golf? Golf, golf all day long? And you know what else?

492
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 2: Family time with Georgie and Ivy when we are just

493
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: like hang out and just like cuddle.

494
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 4: Huddle when I was in the room, but when we're

495
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 4: just like a little A couple of times she.

496
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: Doesn't understand.

497
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 2: Know what she's looking at.

498
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, mine would be beach time by myself journaling my

499
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 1: morning routine and then yeah, I definitely fail. Only time

500
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: it's just us and we can like.

501
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 2: Like all our jobs are done, and then it's like relation.

502
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: During the week, we you know, we spend time together

503
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: a bit often it.

504
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: Feels because we're doing it doesn't feel like like we're

505
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 2: spending time. It's not like quality time.

506
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, you miss the freedom of not having a child.

507
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 1: No comment.

508
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 2: Does you have a large detector on me? No? Yes

509
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 2: and no, Like yes, when it comes to like things,

510
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 2: I just want to smash out. But then no, when

511
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 2: it's like like.

512
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 1: I think in the moment, you can like to be

513
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: like very honest, like there's times where you're like, oh

514
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: my god, life is so much easier, and I just

515
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 1: could you know, go and have fun and not have

516
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 1: any responsibilities, Like you'd be lying if you're like, no,

517
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 1: not at all.

518
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly.

519
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: But then me and Tim always have the conversation where

520
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 1: we're like, before we had a child, imagine just doing

521
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: that for the rest of your life. And for us,

522
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: that didn't fulfill us.

523
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 2: Because I wanted to yeah esp Actually, because we.

524
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,360
Speaker 1: Had a long trying to conceive journey. We remember before

525
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 1: Ivy and we remember all we wanted was a child,

526
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: So in times we were like, oh my god, it's

527
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 1: so draining. You remember those times, and you're like, all

528
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 1: we wanted was her, even though she's crazy.

529
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 3: Our next question, what are your parenting styles and have

530
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 3: you had any big differences?

531
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 1: She's kind of so young, Like me and Tim have

532
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 1: had this conversation of we personally not that we don't

533
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: like how we were parented, but both of our parents

534
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: parented in like, you know, the Boomer's typical parenting way

535
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: of more like you know, children are seen, not heard,

536
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: and very discipline. You know, we both I got the belt,

537
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 1: Tim got the Wooden Spoon physical punishment. Punishment was such

538
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,199
Speaker 1: a huge thing of how you control your children, and

539
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, we both turned out fine, But

540
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: I think I would love to explore more like conscious

541
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 1: parenting ways and just kind of have all the information

542
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: and then decide, because you know, with our parents, they

543
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,479
Speaker 1: didn't have Instagram, they didn't have all the information. They

544
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: just had what their parents did to them, yeah, and

545
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: how they felt. And I feel like we're a bit

546
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: more evolved, we have more resources at the tips of

547
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 1: our fingers. If we'd be quite ignorant to just be like, no,

548
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna parent how my parent parented. I think

549
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: if you want to kind of break that generational t

550
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: you know, like we're not talking big ta trauma. But

551
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would love to explore more parenting

552
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 1: styles together and then decide together. But I just I don't.

553
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: Know, Yeah, how are we going to do it yet

554
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 2: or what?

555
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: Yeah?

556
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, at the moment, I think we're just I'm

557
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 2: pretty easy gone, so just like not like I let

558
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 2: her do whatever she wants, but I'm just always actually

559
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 2: I was all right.

560
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: Anything to keep her happy, we do.

561
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, But then at the same time, it's like because

562
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 2: I don't think she doesn't really get it. She just

563
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: doesn't get it yet. You know.

564
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: She's also like a year old.

565
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's not even year old. So I'll be like, like,

566
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 2: she say this this morning for instance, tell us she

567
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: had like her grapes and I was like, cut them

568
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 2: up and then I put them on and things. She

569
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 2: was just like and then she would just throwing them

570
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 2: all whatever. And I was just like, ivy, no, and

571
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 2: if you're like this, I was like, I'm just like,

572
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 2: there's not even any like there's no point in even

573
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 2: me doing anything other pick the grapes up and put

574
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: them in a bed. I was like, well, that's it.

575
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're going to do a smacker smack.

576
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 2: That's like the best thing to do is to be

577
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 2: like obviously like a hand and then say no. So

578
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 2: she sort of knows like that's going to be like

579
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 2: she needs to learn, like that's going to be obviously

580
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 2: not to do something you can't yell them. But I

581
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 2: don't even know what's going on.

582
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:36,239
Speaker 1: I also don't know how I feel about smacking. I

583
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: don't like, yeah, I don't think so, I don't know,

584
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: like I.

585
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 2: Just do you feel question do you feel like there's

586
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 2: some kids that need to be smacked and there's some

587
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 2: kids that just don't need to be smacked.

588
00:30:47,480 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: So controversial, it's so controversial. I don't know, tim, I

589
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: think some well, that's it's a good conversation starter of

590
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: I don't want to necessarily talk about if some people

591
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 1: need physical punishment. But I think you would be silly

592
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 1: to think every child should be discipline the same way.

593
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: Like I often talk about my parents were so strict

594
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: on me that I just rebelled. So I probably needed

595
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: a different sort of parenting compared to my brothers where

596
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: they were so strict and so my brothers didn't rebel,

597
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 1: whereas I was the opposite.

598
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 2: Like reverse psychology. Like some of they said not to

599
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: do it, you'd be like, I'm doing it.

600
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, me. So I agree that different children need different things.

601
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 2: You need to work out what you need. You need

602
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 2: to work out if you need to be flogged or not.

603
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 2: I wouldn't never. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

604
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: You could not do that.

605
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. There's no way.

606
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also I don't like you can't flog one. Also,

607
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: I don't want to.

608
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 2: Use the word flog get a floggin.

609
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 1: Even though me and Tim both used to get a floggin'.

610
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 1: I remember my dad would just get the belt out

611
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: and I'd I'd run screaming. I don't I don't actually

612
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: remember getting the belt. I just remember it used to

613
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: be the threat.

614
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 2: Of Yeah, because the reason like why they did why

615
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 2: they did that is because like they would get like

616
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 2: stuff even worse than what we got. Like remember like

617
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 2: they like my dad said, he used to get the

618
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 2: cane at school for like if they swore at school

619
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 2: or did something audi at school, like they used to

620
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 2: go to principle and like get like the teachers used

621
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 2: to hit their hands or the back of their legs

622
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: with a cane stick and like they have full, well

623
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: marked bleeding.

624
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: But this is what I mean of. I know our

625
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 1: parents still used not as hard physical punishment, but I

626
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: guarantee you, I generation they will look at that and

627
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: be like that is disgusting, Like I cannot believe a

628
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: parent did that. So we're moving that way. So that's

629
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I think it would be very I

630
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: don't want to use the word ignorant, because I very

631
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: much believe parent. However, you want it's not my decision

632
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: to judge how anyone else's parents. It's me and Tim's

633
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,719
Speaker 1: and we don't care what other people are doing. But

634
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: that's why I think it's so important, Like we will

635
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: explore conscious parenting in different ways. And also I just think, like,

636
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: for example, my only thing with the whole physical punishment

637
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: is you know, you're saying if you hit your child,

638
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: to be like, no, don't do that, and then the

639
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: child goes to school and hits someone like and then

640
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 1: you're like, no, don't hit people. You hit the child, Like,

641
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's just I'm like, how do you

642
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: not get how the child would then think that that's

643
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: what you do to people when you don't want to live. Yeah,

644
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: So I'm like, there's just there's not a lot of

645
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: thinking going on here. So it's just a little bit

646
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,479
Speaker 1: like when I think of stuff like that, I'm like, yeah,

647
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: we've got to figure this out. So, yeah, we're not

648
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: smacking Ivy. We agreed. It looks like we're agreeing, but yeah,

649
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm excited. Me and him are going to do a

650
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 1: little parenting course. We'll let you know what we do.

651
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 3: The next question, how have you planned with a baby?

652
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 3: So that you both get your own social time as

653
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 3: well as time with each.

654
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 2: Other, communication, book things in. We had a little bit

655
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 2: of a miss out for a couple months ago when

656
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 2: I just did something very spontaneously. They didn't go down well.

657
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 2: But yes, you've got to. So it's just communication and

658
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 2: booking things in. So then like you.

659
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: Can when you have a kid, you can't be like

660
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: rock up and be like, oh, hey, I'm going out

661
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: to the pub tonight.

662
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 2: You.

663
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: So what I do is on a Friday, when me

664
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: and Ellie plan my calendar, I actually text him and

665
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: I say, do you and Ivy have anything on? Do

666
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: you have any appointment? Do you have anything on? And

667
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 1: that's when he'll be like, oh, I'm going to golf Monday,

668
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: but I've booked in our babysitter or you know, I'm

669
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 1: doing something on Saturday with my friends or you know

670
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: this and that, and we'll put it on our calendars

671
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: and yeah, just communication.

672
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 2: But generally because I know, like if I'm doing something,

673
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 2: I feel bad sometimes for like giving Ivy to you,

674
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: But if you, like are busy as well, I'll just

675
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: be like, I'll get the babysitter. So then you have

676
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:25,720
Speaker 2: time to yourself.

677
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 3: As well, so you both sort of have your alone

678
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 3: time at the same time.

679
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: In Ivy's just with the babysitter once. Yeah, generally because

680
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 1: also that sometimes works because then the next day, you know,

681
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 1: it's just family time rather than one person with Ivy

682
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: and then the other person with Ivy the other day.

683
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: That makes sense, So it's kind of good that way,

684
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: and then we both can have family and.

685
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 2: Then we're recharged good together.

686
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: I actually really love when you do your own thing

687
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: during the week and get a babysitter so we can

688
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:57,760
Speaker 1: have the weekend.

689
00:35:58,880 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 2: Other way.

690
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes I've got something on a random day and like

691
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out.

692
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 2: But they worked out perfect for me anyway. I could

693
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,439
Speaker 2: rather do stuff on the week during the week as well.

694
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm just working.

695
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 3: When do you guys schedule your like date nights and stuff.

696
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 5: Ye?

697
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 1: Never, we're pretty slack with date nights.

698
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 2: We've had one so every like, well we do we

699
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 2: try and do our Friday night thing still, don't we?

700
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Ivy's there, she's talking about date nights without Ivy. Yeah,

701
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 1: what do you mean every Friday night we get takeout?

702
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: That's not date night, it's just a Friday night. We

703
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 1: need to get better at our own time because it's

704
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 1: such do you agree to him that? Like sometimes we

705
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,399
Speaker 1: can kind of be a bit like not off each other,

706
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: but you can feel disconnected. But then as soon as

707
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 1: me and you spend some us times together, it's like

708
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: I'm in love with them again.

709
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 2: We're good.

710
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: All right, We're good, but we forget to do that.

711
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 2: We have, we do forget to do that, and we

712
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,399
Speaker 2: probably just like come up with the excuses being like, oh,

713
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 2: so busy or we're tired or you know, because we

714
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 2: have because we have been busy and we have been tired.

715
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: Though, so it's like we've done a couple of things,

716
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: like the other night we had a private chef experience

717
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: which I have to talk about on the body, and

718
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: then Jamie looked after Ivy, and then a couple of

719
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: times we've had a babysitter. She was like Jamie. Jamie

720
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 1: said to us, She's like, that was the most exhausting

721
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: thing I've ever done, And I'm like you, like.

722
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 2: She always fell asleep walking down the stairs on the

723
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 2: way back to her little house.

724
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: She said, she woke up with her headache. I make Jamie,

725
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: I do that every single day. But yeah, we probably

726
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: need to get a little bit better about it.

727
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 2: I think maybe that could be one of our rest

728
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 2: of this year just right, it could be one of

729
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 2: about New Year's resolutions.

730
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 1: So what do you want it to be? Let's say

731
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 1: on the podcast, so we have to lock it in.

732
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 2: I'd be happy with date night. What once a fortnight

733
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 2: or once a month, but realistically, like once a fortnight,

734
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 2: I was pushing it like once a month.

735
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: I would love to try for once a fortnight, try

736
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 1: for once fortnite. Land at once a month. Well, it's

737
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 1: gonna be really good when my parents are coming back

738
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: from their trip up north and they're going to live

739
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: with us for a couple of months in the guest house,

740
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 1: And that's going to be good because so much easier.

741
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: We're not great at Like I get really weird with

742
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 1: but what if it's Thursday night and I've just had

743
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: a shit show at work and I like, the last

744
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: thing I wanted to is like get dressed up and

745
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 1: go out with you. Yeah, so I'm a bit like

746
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 1: temperament all that sort of stuff. So it might we

747
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: may be able to be a bit more spontaneous, to

748
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: be like mom and dad. We want to go see

749
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: a movie or your parents actually did that for us.

750
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: The other day we went and threw a movie. Your

751
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,280
Speaker 1: mom came over. But I think we need to literally

752
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: start booking in it. I'm going to tell Ellie and

753
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 1: she'll book it in for us.

754
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 2: Oh, great idea. I'd love that someone else to plan it. Yeah,

755
00:38:58,920 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 2: you get someone else.

756
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: That's actually another thing.

757
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 2: I'm just like, because you always we just sort of

758
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: just go wherever you want to go anyway, So I'm

759
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 2: just like, I don't really care where we go.

760
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 1: Just get me out of the house, get me away

761
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:11,879
Speaker 1: from this child.

762
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 2: Away.

763
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 1: I hope I never hears this episode, but yes, so

764
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: I think let's you've heard it here. First check in

765
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 1: with us in the new year. We'll fortnightly date nights.

766
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 3: Our next question, thoughts on baby number two.

767
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 2: I'm ready to go.

768
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: My face looked not impressed. Tim nodded, and I was confused.

769
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 1: We're going to just be very honest, I'm not ready

770
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: for baby number two. I actually couldn't think of anything

771
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: worse to happen in our lives. That's a bit drmnic.

772
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 2: Not anything worse, but that's pretty dramatic. Imagine there's something.

773
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 1: Like no, well, obviously, apart from that.

774
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 2: Getting pregnant is a blessing people.

775
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 1: I know, Okay, I take it back. Good for me personally,

776
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 1: I remember, I guess we could just cut it out,

777
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,359
Speaker 1: but we'll believe it. So how I feel, though, is

778
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: I just like it changed our lives so much. I

779
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,280
Speaker 1: barely feel like we're finding our feet and I feel

780
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 1: like I just feel like it would be a bit

781
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: crazy to be like, yeah, let's throw another child in there.

782
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: I definitely want a second child, but at the moment,

783
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 1: I just think I'm going to be very honest too.

784
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 1: I'm just I love Ivy so much, Like I be

785
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: fine with just her to we just have one kid.

786
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: I just I love her so much. She's just perfect.

787
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,280
Speaker 2: No, I need to have another one, But I wouldn't.

788
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 2: Like I'm not like I want to have the Bully next,

789
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 2: Like I'll be happy with another girl hands down, but

790
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: I would. I definitely want to. But yeah, I'm still

791
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 2: trying to figure out Ivy.

792
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,359
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. I just I feel like we're

793
00:40:58,400 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 1: do like.

794
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 2: The three year gap. It's pretty good, like and I

795
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 2: get it because I just try to.

796
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: Work and worried about the gap. Though, I just want

797
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 1: us to be in a place because I just feel

798
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,879
Speaker 1: like there's so many times this year where it's been

799
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: very trying because we're both so stressed out. I'm going

800
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 1: back to work, You're figuring out you know, the second.

801
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 2: Time round is going to be like the first time

802
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 2: for anything is stressful because you don't know what's going

803
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: to happen.

804
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 3: I know.

805
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 2: But then also second time rounds like all right, we can,

806
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 2: we can do it.

807
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're also going to remember then Ivy will

808
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 1: be in like Terrible twos or you know, like she'll

809
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 1: be dealing with her stuff. It's like it's not gonna

810
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: be simple.

811
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 2: But it's like, yeah, I'm not gonna wait until she's

812
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 2: like a teenager. I like, what do you mean, Like

813
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 2: you just gotta pump it out. That's the thing, Like

814
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 2: you just do it and it's like probably gonna be

815
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 2: shipped for a couple of years. But this is like

816
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 2: that's life.

817
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 1: That's actually another thing, Like can we just admit on

818
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 1: this podcast, babe, like when you have a kid, your

819
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: life is just like a little bit ship for a while,

820
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 1: or it's like it's like eighteen years a while, like

821
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 1: five six months, tell us how you really feel.

822
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 2: To him, No, it's it's all good. But then how

823
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 2: you always like it could be so much it would

824
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 2: literally get a living nanny.

825
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I said, if I was to get pregnant

826
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: right now, we had a second, like, I would need

827
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 1: no pair of course, it's just.

828
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 2: After both of them, and I would just literally pursue

829
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 2: my professional golf career all labor day golf would make them.

830
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 1: Literally what I deal with the tr so watch.

831
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 2: That much money they make. It's unbelievable.

832
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: Can you could give them a run for their money?

833
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 2: Absolutely? I have to do lots of practice, and it

834
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 2: didn't work out. It wouldn't work out, but hey, we

835
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 2: had fun. Sure it's not gonna hap and I want

836
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 2: to be a statement and just relax.

837
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 1: Him, just relaxed. So yeah, definitely baby it on two.

838
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: I person don't feel ready and I feel I feel

839
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,879
Speaker 1: so content with Ivy and I just feel like it's

840
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: all good. I'm not in any rush. Tim's like, let's

841
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: do it.

842
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm tapped out.

843
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, good.

844
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 3: So those are our parenting questions. Next are our love

845
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 3: and intimacy questions.

846
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about sexy times.

847
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:26,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put my lick.

848
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 5: In No, you're literally in front of my employees, my

849
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 5: tears just flushing.

850
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 3: Our first question, have the intimate times dwindled since having

851
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 3: a baby.

852
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 1: It's kind of hard from us because when our trying

853
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,879
Speaker 1: to conceive journey was so long, and when you're trying

854
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 1: to conceive, you're having sex so much exhausted, we were exting.

855
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 1: You get a bit over it almost because you have it.

856
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 2: It's like almost like turns into a jewel. You're all right,

857
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: that's on the alarm goes off.

858
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:16,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not the sexiest relationship.

859
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 2: It's almost like like now it'll be like a bit

860
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 2: more enjoyable.

861
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,800
Speaker 1: Well, so when you're trying to conceive, you have sex

862
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 1: a lot and a lot a lot, And then we

863
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:32,319
Speaker 1: got pregnant and we're almost like, oh, just relax, and

864
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 1: so I feel like we didn't have sex as much.

865
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 1: But then since we had Ivy and I feel like

866
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: it's picked back up because it's.

867
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 3: Just to like pre trying to conceive, or.

868
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: Like all since being pregnant, because.

869
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 2: It was yes, because I.

870
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: Was pregnant and I was like, don't touch me. Tim

871
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 1: was like I'm sick of But then I don't know,

872
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 1: I feel like that's what I'm saying. We went through

873
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 1: previously a season where you three seasons.

874
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 2: But then even when like after birth, it's obviously like

875
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 2: you get away, needs to repair, you need to So

876
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 2: that was like a few months, yeah, but then yeah,

877
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 2: good to go.

878
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: I feel like also when you're both in a place

879
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 1: where you enjoy each other again. So after the six

880
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 1: months period where we weren't, you know, Ivy was sleep like,

881
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 1: things like, you both need to be getting sleep, you

882
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 1: both need to be enjoying your every day. So I

883
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 1: got back to work and I got back to feeling myself.

884
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: And when you're feeling yourself like you want to have sex,

885
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 1: you want to do those things. Tim felt like he

886
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 1: was like getting into a groove with Ivy, and so

887
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: he felt confident in himself.

888
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,879
Speaker 2: Come like feel less mentally drained. It's still mentally drained,

889
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:45,920
Speaker 2: but like at the start it was.

890
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 1: And then also I feel like when you both are

891
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 1: giving yourself you time and filling up your own cup,

892
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 1: you naturally.

893
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 2: It just happens.

894
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just happens. It's awesome. He's like, good tonight,

895
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 1: what do you guys do to keep the relationship fun?

896
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 3: And segsy mean, what were you gonna say.

897
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 1: Me and Tim are like we're both humorous people, like

898
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: we both to keep the relationship fun. I think we

899
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: have a lot of fun together, Like we have a

900
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 1: lot of inside jokes, and we're very humorous, and like

901
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 1: the fun comes out that way, and we both enjoy

902
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 1: spending time to I think it's just whenever you're making

903
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 1: time for each other, you're naturally going to feel more connected.

904
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: So anytime in our relationship when we're not feeling connected,

905
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 1: I will often voice this to Tim, and we just

906
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 1: prioritize us a bit more and you feel more connected.

907
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,879
Speaker 1: So it's just, you know, it is like small thing

908
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:04,399
Speaker 1: like I, you know, had this big thing about what

909
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: was happening as I was working all day, and then

910
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: when I came home, Tim was also almost like not

911
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: being I guess as intentional with his day because when

912
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 1: I came home, he then did his jobs, so we

913
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 1: were kind of like ships passing in the night. I

914
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 1: would then look after Ivy, he'd don't do his jobs,

915
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: and I just had to express that it'd actually be

916
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 1: good if you got those jobs done during her naps,

917
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 1: and then we had some time together in the afternoon.

918
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: Rather it feeling like I'm then with Ivy you then

919
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 1: do your jobs. And then Tim was like, oh okay cool.

920
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: So you know, just like little things I know he does,

921
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: like every time I come home, I don't even know

922
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: if you do. Do you open the garage for me?

923
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 1: Literally every time, I'm like so sweet he's opened the

924
00:47:50,880 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 1: garage for me. Just he never closes at anyway. But

925
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,399
Speaker 1: I feel like you will do small and like I'll

926
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 1: come home sometimes and he's already chopped up all the

927
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 1: hallow fresh so he can sit with us rather than cooking.

928
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 1: So like little things like that to kind of prioritize

929
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 1: us and just communicating with the other person and just

930
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: expressing how you feel and trying to find pockets of

931
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: time with each other. What would you say, Tim? Because

932
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 1: I feel like how do we how do we keep

933
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 1: our relationship fun and sexy?

934
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 2: I think communication really is the biggest thing.

935
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:38,720
Speaker 1: Because off you, you don't know how the person feels.

936
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 2: But talking as well, and we'll just have like us

937
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 2: not us time. But it's like we have a chat

938
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 2: on the land.

939
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: Yet side Yeah, like the other day we.

940
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 2: Can get a bit deep, but like how chat have

941
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 2: a drink and then have a.

942
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 1: Baby and we have a chat, and I feel, honestly,

943
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 1: you just had to have a conversation with me, and

944
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 1: I feel all seen and heard and special.

945
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 2: It doesn't take oh yeah, ten minutes, drags ads, like

946
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 2: two hours, none of that all.

947
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 1: But I think sometimes we forget that, Like I think

948
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:13,759
Speaker 1: I said that the other day. I was like, can

949
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: we just sit outside and have a conversation. I feel

950
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 1: like we haven't had a deep conversation in a while.

951
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 2: I was, yeah, I'd love to Let me get a bit.

952
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 1: Let me get a wine.

953
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 3: How do you both find the right times to fill

954
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: your own cup a time that works for you and

955
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:33,760
Speaker 3: for the family.

956
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: Oh, okay during the Yeah, yeah, Tim just kind of

957
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: books it. We obviously make sure the other person isn't busy. Yeah,

958
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,359
Speaker 1: but I feel like we generally have general things like,

959
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 1: you know, my mourning is very important to me.

960
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 2: That's yeah, I'll just let Tim.

961
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 1: Lets me do my thing. What're you gonna.

962
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:58,240
Speaker 2: Say, just because I'm like flexible with my cup, filling

963
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: my cup, feeling activity, It's like, I just work around

964
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 2: you really pretty easy.

965
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 3: And when you first started like booking things in during

966
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:10,319
Speaker 3: the week, like golf days and stuff, did you ever

967
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 3: feel guilty for leaving Ivy with a babysitter or not really.

968
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 2: No, not really, I would feel more guilty leaving Ivy

969
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:22,200
Speaker 2: with George if I was to go, but with a

970
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 2: Babysitter's she going to do with it?

971
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 1: No?

972
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Like like a little bit, I'm like, you know,

973
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,319
Speaker 2: sweet girl. At the same time, like I need like

974
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 2: the reason I'm doing it in the first place, so

975
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 2: I can.

976
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, because Tim will sometimes be you can just tell

977
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 1: he's very tapped out, and when you're in like when

978
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 1: you're like that, you do tend to have like less patience, yes,

979
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,879
Speaker 1: and less like you know, so it's almost like for

980
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 1: Ivy's sake, he needs to go and do the golf anyway,

981
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: That's why he pictures it to me. I'm the same though,

982
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 1: I explained to Tim. I often feel a bit guilty

983
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,399
Speaker 1: because you know, I work all week, but then if

984
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 1: I plan something on the weekend just for me, I

985
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 1: feel like I should just want to spend all my

986
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 1: time with Ivy. But that's what I spoke about before,

987
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 1: where I'm like, that's ridiculous because Tim is like, you know,

988
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 1: he needs his golf time, he needs his you know,

989
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,280
Speaker 1: time to fill up his cup. It would be silly

990
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:29,800
Speaker 1: to think I don't need time, and it's like also,

991
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: I think the big thing with like the stay at

992
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 1: home dad and me going to work is realizing both

993
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 1: things are as valuable as each other. So no one's

994
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: got like a more valuable role. Like I'm not more

995
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 1: valuable because I own the money and Tim's not more

996
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,839
Speaker 1: valuable because he looks after Ivy. It's equal, and once

997
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 1: you think of it that way, it should be quite

998
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 1: clear on of course you deserve, you know, you time

999
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,280
Speaker 1: each person does. It should be you know, very equal.

1000
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 2: I feel like some sometimes like we sort of forget

1001
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,640
Speaker 2: that day and then we get a bit judgy on

1002
00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:06,919
Speaker 2: each other. Yes, well that's we're pretty.

1003
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,359
Speaker 1: That's when the resentment seeps in. And that's when you've

1004
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:13,359
Speaker 1: got to stand back and remember these I'll just send

1005
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 1: you this podcast.

1006
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 2: It's like true blacket. Put the podcast in.

1007
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 1: Me and Texas go to minute footy nine.

1008
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 3: Our next question, what is your favorite thing about each other?

1009
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 2: You're mean to go first, you get first.

1010
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 1: My favorite thing about Tim is the type of dad

1011
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:45,959
Speaker 1: he is diving oh so sweet, like literally the best

1012
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 1: dad and like the most caring human. Like often he

1013
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 1: doesn't know this, but I'll look at the baby camera

1014
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: of like when Ivy goes to bed and wakes up,

1015
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:58,359
Speaker 1: and so I see Ivy standing there and I see

1016
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 1: him and he's like, hello, little baby.

1017
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 2: I'll open the door and she'd be like she looks

1018
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 2: at she's like standing it up, and she's like, I'll

1019
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 2: be like, where's my little monkey?

1020
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: He says it every time and then and then I

1021
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 1: always hear him and he's like, how did you sleep?

1022
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: And he like talks to her like she's like the

1023
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,720
Speaker 1: most special little human. And it's like so sweet because

1024
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:26,799
Speaker 1: you know, whenever i might be feeling like a bit

1025
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 1: guilty that I'm at work or I miss her or something,

1026
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,799
Speaker 1: I'm just reminded of like what a good dad he

1027
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:36,520
Speaker 1: is and how much like she'll remember this special time

1028
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 1: with him, and it just like makes me feel like

1029
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 1: so woman fuzzy, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm doing

1030
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 1: the right thing, like it's you know, it's all good.

1031
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 1: I think that has been the biggest thing, because you know,

1032
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 1: if I maybe was with a partner who didn't want

1033
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 1: to look after Ivy or didn't want to be a dad,

1034
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,239
Speaker 1: it would be so hard for me. Because I have

1035
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: always decided that you know even before I mean that

1036
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:05,239
Speaker 1: I wanted to continue to work. So that has been

1037
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:07,839
Speaker 1: such a thing. And you know, me and Tim met

1038
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,320
Speaker 1: when we were seventeen, but I literally picked the perfect person.

1039
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:14,799
Speaker 2: It's a pretty good lucky dip.

1040
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really was. And I a and then I

1041
00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:20,239
Speaker 1: think it's it's you as a person, like you're the

1042
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 1: most caring person. And I think also it takes a

1043
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 1: certain sort of man to be a stay at home dad.

1044
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 2: Step Yeah.

1045
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's yeah, it's the hardest job.

1046
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 2: So thanks bab Tim.

1047
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 3: What's your favorite thing about Georgie?

1048
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 2: So my favorite thing about Georgie is has she's the

1049
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,319
Speaker 2: most amazing mum but then balances the work and mum

1050
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 2: wife with running a business and then being an awesome

1051
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 2: mom at the same time.

1052
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 1: Does it all.

1053
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 2: She does it all, And thanks mam. Yeah, it's very impressive.

1054
00:54:52,760 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 2: I'm very impressed because it is it's yeah, like know

1055
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 2: how you do it, but I don't know how you

1056
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 2: do it, and like you don't know how I do it.

1057
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 2: So it's like that's how we work.

1058
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:09,720
Speaker 1: Both a lot of appreciation for each other. YEA amazing, Well,

1059
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 1: my love, thank you so much, and I'm welcome you're welcome.

1060
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 1: I just want to say a huge congratulations to us

1061
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 1: both for surviving our first year of parenting in the trenches.

1062
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 2: But we just dug ourselves out.

1063
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 1: That's what. That's such a good that's such a good thing.

1064
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 1: Like parenting feels like you're in the trenches, in the.

1065
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 2: Trench and you've just got bullets coming at.

1066
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:36,399
Speaker 1: You and you just got to get through it. And

1067
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 1: there's it gets so much better. But also it's that

1068
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: it has hands down being the best year of my life.

1069
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,720
Speaker 1: Would you agree? Absolutely, would not trade it for anything.

1070
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 1: And I just know it's going to get so much

1071
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 1: better and like we're just going to have more challenges,

1072
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 1: like imagine when I be sixteen, I.

1073
00:55:54,280 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 2: Need a shotgun. Start the boys away, four girls, four

1074
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:01,919
Speaker 2: girls way.

1075
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: But yes, couldn't do without you, my love, So proud

1076
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:07,839
Speaker 1: of you and everything you do.

1077
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 2: Love you, Thanks for having me.

1078
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of

1079
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,359
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and

1080
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:24,760
Speaker 1: want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer

1081
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:28,919
Speaker 1: dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a Rise

1082
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we

1083
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:35,839
Speaker 1: have a small team so we do appreciate your time

1084
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,720
Speaker 1: and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow

1085
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 1: or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be

1086
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 1: so amazing. And look, if you're feeling extra kind, a

1087
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,720
Speaker 1: review on Apple Podcasts would be great.