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Speaker 1: Jum Mission with Jones and Amanda.

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Speaker 2: I had lunch at a friend's place yesterday to it.

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Speaker 2: I've known Alicia.

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Speaker 3: I know Aliicia.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we flatted together when I first left home,

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Speaker 2: when I come home from Union bathist.

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Speaker 4: This is where you used to play split End songs

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Speaker 4: really loudly out the window on the off chance that

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Speaker 4: Tim Finn or Neil Finn would be walking past your

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Speaker 4: house and they would hear the music and they say

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Speaker 4: that sounds like a fan.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to go in and have a cup of tea.

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Speaker 5: That's exactly what I imagine.

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Speaker 3: Mean anything else other than a cup of.

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Speaker 2: Tea, exactly exactly. So we were working together at Simon

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Speaker 2: Townsend's Wonder World. We've been friends for many years.

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Speaker 4: And what did you research on stories like the paddle

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Speaker 4: Pop factory.

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Speaker 3: Behind the scenes, very.

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Speaker 4: Important to expose a on the paddle Pop And when

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Speaker 4: Jonathan Coleman fell into the vat of paddle Pop factory stuff,

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Speaker 4: I put.

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Speaker 5: The stick in.

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Speaker 2: So we're having lunch at Alisha's and with our other

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Speaker 2: friend Charlie, who we've known from the same period of

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Speaker 2: time in our lives. And there was a beautiful white

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Speaker 2: tablecloth on the table, white carpet on the floor, and

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Speaker 2: sort of a beautiful antique rug let.

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Speaker 3: Me guess you weren't drinking soda water that day, you know.

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Speaker 2: As I walked in, I said, you don't want to

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Speaker 2: do a spill here, do you. Half an hour later,

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Speaker 2: glass of red wine in front of me. I pick

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Speaker 2: up a salad to move it around the table. It

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Speaker 2: all happened in slow motion. First of all, I knocked

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Speaker 2: over a water and I thought, oh no, And then

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Speaker 2: before I could make sense of what was happening, it

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Speaker 2: hit a red wine glass all over the tablecloth and

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Speaker 2: just poured down all over the carpet, winging as well

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Speaker 2: the antique mat and I oh, and Alicia very graciously

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Speaker 2: said that's fine, that's fine, but we had to get

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Speaker 2: bicarb of soda put it on.

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Speaker 5: It looked like someone had been murdered.

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Speaker 2: Because the floor to actually it looked like I chucked

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Speaker 2: because there were lumps of this bicarb of soda on

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Speaker 2: the floor and it all went green. And we had

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Speaker 2: to take every item of cutlery, glassware, salads, food because

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Speaker 2: we just were eating, Take it all off the table,

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Speaker 2: take the excuse me, tablecloth off, soak it you know, terrible, terrible.

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Speaker 3: We are hoping that maybe I'll put some split ends

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Speaker 3: on Tim Finn. Neil Finn might come in.

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Speaker 2: Well, look over there, it's a Finn brother. A number

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Speaker 2: of years ago, when the kids were really small, we

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Speaker 2: went to a friend's auntie's place for New Year's Eve.

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Speaker 2: The auntie wasn't there, but she'd given permission for this

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Speaker 2: flat to be used to see the fireworks. And I

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Speaker 2: lectured the kids so hard because she had beautiful things

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Speaker 2: in this house. I said, don't touch anything, don't touch anything,

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Speaker 2: don't split anywhere. Out of course it was me brook

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Speaker 2: wine all over the couch.

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Speaker 5: I thought, I'm going to.

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Speaker 2: Have to take the pay to have the roof removed

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Speaker 2: from this apartment, get the couch craned out, have it cleaned,

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Speaker 2: and craned back in.

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Speaker 5: But there's always grown ups around who know what to

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Speaker 5: do in a situation like that. I'm hopeless.

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Speaker 2: But there were people who had napkins and chemicals and

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Speaker 2: knew what to do with it, luckily, And I just

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Speaker 2: stand back saying.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, this is why you couldn't be an assassin. Why

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Speaker 4: is that, Well, you can't get rid of the body.

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Speaker 4: That's the most important part of it.

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Speaker 5: I have done my bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, look, put a chalk outline around it and be

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Speaker 2: done with you.

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Speaker 4: Maybe just to make you feel good because you are

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Speaker 4: a bit of a clutch when it comes to this stuff.

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Speaker 3: Maybe the tribal drum will beat for tales of the spill.

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Speaker 5: Wow, that's tales of the sales of the spill? What

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Speaker 5: was it?

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Speaker 3: Lisa has joined us. Hello Lisa, Good morning guys. How

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Speaker 3: are you very well?

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Speaker 5: What spilled? Lisa? Make me feel better?

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Speaker 1: I think I should be being to vodka and soda

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Speaker 1: water as well. My daughter was three Christmas morning, back

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Speaker 1: in the day when you had an old video cam

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Speaker 1: was only ten years ago. Plugged into the PowerPoint videoing

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Speaker 1: her opening her presence brand new, relatively new Beije recline

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Speaker 1: a lounge. I play my full mug of coffee on

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Speaker 1: the lounge, videoing her turned around for a sip of coffee.

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Speaker 1: The whole thing because the power chord knocked over, my

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Speaker 1: mug up ended on the lounge. My hubby, pride and

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Speaker 1: joy room that happened in went off.

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Speaker 6: The DP end.

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Speaker 1: My poor three year old daughters now watching my grown

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Speaker 1: up husband carrying on her age, jumping up and down.

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Speaker 1: She led the F bomb pretty soon that day. Oh unpleasant?

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Speaker 5: Did you capture it all on video?

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Speaker 1: I wish, I wish the years. Every time something goes

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Speaker 1: wrong on the lounge. Now that that daughter of mine's thirteen,

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Speaker 1: we've got a six year old, we say to the kids,

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Speaker 1: you can't eat in the lounge room. No, no, who's

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Speaker 1: the one that spills it?

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Speaker 7: Me?

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Speaker 3: H terrible, that's what happens.

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Speaker 5: No one ever lets you forget it, No, no, no one.

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Speaker 3: I've done it a few times.

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Speaker 4: One time on my first radio station, they had this

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Speaker 4: new fangled device in the studio called a CD player,

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Speaker 4: and we were told, big memo on the noticeboard. Anyone

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Speaker 4: caught with coffee or anything in the studio that will

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Speaker 4: be an official warning. So I've got a giant Garfield

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Speaker 4: novelty mug at the time, which was the trend, full

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Speaker 4: of coffee.

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Speaker 3: And I'm walking down the corridor.

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Speaker 4: I'm not even going into the studio, opened the door

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Speaker 4: to talk to the guy on air.

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Speaker 3: As I've walked in, standing in the studio, I've tripped

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Speaker 3: on the.

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Speaker 4: Loose carpet and I've actually a coffee has gone onto

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Speaker 4: the CD players like a wall.

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Speaker 3: Over the two brand new CD.

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Speaker 5: What do you do?

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Speaker 3: And he was the boss, so I've done it in

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Speaker 3: front of him.

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Speaker 5: What happened?

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Speaker 3: So we I sponged like I've never sponged in.

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Speaker 4: My life, and he said to me, he said, he said,

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Speaker 4: if they are broken, you're gone.

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Speaker 3: You're out of here.

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Speaker 4: So that night on my shift, I got the CD players,

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Speaker 4: took them all apart, and I had paper towers just gidding.

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Speaker 4: So I managed to repair them and I thought, if

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Speaker 4: I do get the sack, I'll get a job at

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Speaker 4: Dick Smith.

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Speaker 5: How's that working out for you? Rob's with us?

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Speaker 8: Hello?

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Speaker 2: Rob?

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Speaker 6: Lordy man the going don't he.

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Speaker 5: Rub tails of the spill? What happened?

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Speaker 9: Ah?

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Speaker 6: I went out to dinner with my wife's work.

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Speaker 7: This is down in North Sydney in the early eighties,

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Speaker 7: you know, when Asian food had only just first come in.

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Speaker 7: And I've got my wife sitting one side, I got

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Speaker 7: a boss sit on the other side, and we got

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Speaker 7: the peanut stewer, you know, and I didn't know whether

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Speaker 7: you drag it straight off of your mouth and not,

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Speaker 7: so everyone held it up vertically and I went, yeah,

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Speaker 7: I'll do this, and they started to pull the meat off,

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Speaker 7: except muggins here flicks it with his finger, a perfect

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Speaker 7: semi circle of peanut sauce right into the boss's lap,

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Speaker 7: who happened to be a female and was wearing a

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Speaker 7: white dress that they're being in me.

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Speaker 6: I dragged up the Sovietna. I'm gone, Oh, I can't

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Speaker 6: touch her in the crutch. Oh my god. And then

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Speaker 6: that settled down, and then I went to pick up

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Speaker 6: one of those big meatball things that had sauce with

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Speaker 6: the chopsticks and I'm not real good, and then straight

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Speaker 6: across the table. Now I was never invited back.

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Speaker 3: Maybe if you felt, if you felt your bosses crutching

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Speaker 3: brown stain on the front.

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Speaker 2: Of a white dress, Actually front's better than that.

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Speaker 5: No, none of it's good. James is with us, Hi James.

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Speaker 9: Good morning, and man the good morning Jeronesy.

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Speaker 5: Tales of the spill. What happened?

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Speaker 9: So it was about four years ago. I was doing

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Speaker 9: my HC timber project and I decided to finish off

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Speaker 9: the top of my coffee table in the house, and

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Speaker 9: I was doing a glass finish epoxy top on it,

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Speaker 9: and so I had just a cloth drop cloths down

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Speaker 9: on the floor and some of the epoxy spilt over

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Speaker 9: the edge, so threw the drop cloth and destroyed the carpet.

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Speaker 9: It dried solid, so if you knocked on it it

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Speaker 9: was like knocking on wood. And it was so that

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Speaker 9: a few years later my parents decided, oh, let's just

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Speaker 9: knock down the house and rebuild.

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Speaker 3: Well that's a spill.

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Speaker 5: Wow, that's a reaction. Oh and how'd you do when

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Speaker 5: your hsc with you would work?

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Speaker 3: Was it worth it?

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Speaker 9: I got a band six for it, which was the highest.

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Speaker 3: In your face, Mum and daddy.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, half a million to knock down the house.

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Speaker 3: But look good.

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Speaker 4: Idea you wouldn't get a carpet court or something and

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Speaker 4: get a new You know.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes that's the impetus for you know what, Let's start again.

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Speaker 3: It's not down. Thanks James. Amber's with us as well.

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Speaker 3: Hello Amber, Hi.

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Speaker 8: James and Amanda. How are you today?

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Speaker 3: Very well?

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Speaker 5: What's spilled? Amber?

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Speaker 8: First of all, Amanda, I'm left handed too, and I

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Speaker 8: can vouch for yes, we are more clums clumsy. I

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Speaker 8: think surely there.

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Speaker 3: Must be a dexterous left hander out there like a

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Speaker 3: brain surgeon.

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Speaker 6: Aura.

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Speaker 5: Oh, I'm sure.

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Speaker 2: Surely, But you know, you try being left handed for

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Speaker 2: a day and see if you don't knock over red

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Speaker 2: wine or over a white.

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Speaker 6: Tablecloth, exactly.

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Speaker 8: My tail of the spill. I was house set and

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Speaker 8: dogs sitting for my girlfriend for ten days while they're

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Speaker 8: in Byron, and everything was going great with my two kids.

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Speaker 8: On the very last day, my five year old son

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Speaker 8: best friend came over for a play and it was

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Speaker 8: all going nicely. I was making lunch. They made their

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Speaker 8: way up to the toy room. I went up to

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Speaker 8: call them for lunch. I walked in and somehow they

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Speaker 8: had found and make your own market kit in the

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Speaker 8: back of the toy coveroard and they were covered head

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Speaker 8: to toe in ink of all different colors, all splattered

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Speaker 8: all over the room, all over the carpet, the beige carpet,

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Speaker 8: all over the walls, all over like designer bean bags.

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Speaker 8: I just wanted to die. And they were standing there,

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Speaker 8: proud as punch, covered head to toe in ink, and

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Speaker 8: my girlfriend was coming home the next day.

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Speaker 5: What did you do?

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Speaker 8: I called my daughter and be her girlfriend went come upstairs.

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Speaker 8: They had to pick the boys is up, carry them downsters,

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Speaker 8: and the footprints everywhere in the room. Not that that mattered,

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Speaker 8: because I ended up having to replace the carpet but

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Speaker 8: that was after calling an emergency carpet cleaner that day,

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Speaker 8: which cost me six hundred dollars, and then I had

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Speaker 8: to replace the carpet, which cost me another eight hundred dollars.

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Speaker 3: You know who invents and make your own markt kids?

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Speaker 3: What idiot?

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Speaker 7: You know?

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Speaker 2: It's someone who buys it kids for Christmas or birthday.

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Speaker 5: A parent would never buy that.

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Speaker 4: There should be a tribunal against stuff like that. That's

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Speaker 4: an acy a story. Gareth is Hello.

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Speaker 9: Gareth, Hi Jonesy, how are you going?

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Speaker 7: Hi?

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Speaker 3: Amanda, Hello Gareth?

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Speaker 5: What happened?

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Speaker 10: It was a long time ago.

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Speaker 11: But we went to got home cook up food was

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Speaker 11: known good and there was a big spill red wine

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Speaker 11: food everywhere.

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Speaker 6: Everyone went home.

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Speaker 10: Because I threw it out of a party, went up

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Speaker 10: to and I went to sleep in the shower.

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Speaker 9: I woke up.

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Speaker 12: Hours later because I could hear waterfalls and anyway, I'd

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Speaker 12: gone to sleep over the floorways.

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Speaker 9: We had two sunken bedrooms on either.

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Speaker 12: Side of the either side of the the bathroom bathroom.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and they were both four inches deep of water.

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Speaker 10: Yeah. Anyway, I knocked.

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Speaker 12: Over the balcony where the stairs go down, and I

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Speaker 12: flooded the kitchen.

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Speaker 9: Then there was a step down lounge.

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Speaker 12: I flooded the lounge, and then there was a step

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Speaker 12: down dining area and I flooded that.

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Speaker 6: And the only.

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Speaker 7: Reason at the courtyard was and flooded was because it

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Speaker 7: was going down the drain in the courtyard.

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Speaker 5: Was this so because you fell asleep on top of

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Speaker 5: the plug hole?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Wow?

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Speaker 3: What part of you was on the plug hole?

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Speaker 5: How asleep would you have to?

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Speaker 3: That is pretty asleep. That's like heroin addict to something.

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Speaker 8: Wow.

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Speaker 5: So a bad dinner party. Food was bad. Everyone went

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Speaker 5: home and then that.

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Speaker 3: Dug dinner party. It wasn't even a good party.

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Speaker 4: Gareth's got a swimming pool now, Thanks Gareth.

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Speaker 3: Lisa's with us as well.

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Speaker 5: Hi Lisa, good morning.

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Speaker 10: How are you both very well?

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Speaker 3: What's bilt?

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Speaker 10: I was baby sitting my son and daughter in Laud's dog,

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Speaker 10: and the night before thought it was constipated, So looked

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Speaker 10: up all these natural remedies, stir fried some olive oil,

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Speaker 10: pumpkin turmeric. I think you meant Tony just used one ingredient,

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Speaker 10: but I thought I'll use all three. Next morning woke up,

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Speaker 10: opened the door downstairs just this absolute stench, and noticed

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Speaker 10: that she had pooped gas strick all over my son

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Speaker 10: and daughter in Lord's cream woolen carpet.

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Speaker 8: This massive dug and it was just because of.

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Speaker 10: The tumeric and the pumpkins. Everything looked really rusty, yellowy

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Speaker 10: color and just it was waked and took me a

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Speaker 10: couple of hours to try and clean it out. And

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Speaker 10: the poor dog, I think she was electrolyte and balanced

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Speaker 10: because she could barely stand.

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Speaker 3: Chilled the door? Do you chucky? You just live a

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Speaker 3: consttervated dog? Go, wouldn't you dear me?

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Speaker 5: Hello Helen? How are you?

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Speaker 11: I'm well, Amanda, good morning.

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Speaker 3: J And hello Helen. What have you spilled?

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Speaker 2: Helen?

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Speaker 11: It wasn't me, It was my husband. At my niece's wedding,

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Speaker 11: the couple made the grand entrance and she my nise,

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Speaker 11: decided to come and do us an ambus us. At

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Speaker 11: that time my husband jumped up. It had a filled

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Speaker 11: glass of red wine and.

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Speaker 9: Then all over the dress on the wedding.

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Speaker 11: On the she had just made the entrance, there was

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Speaker 11: a table at the left of the door, and she thought,

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Speaker 11: I'll come and embraces because there was some family from Scotland.

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Speaker 11: So she just decided to make a day tour.

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Speaker 5: What happened?

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Speaker 11: Oh my god, it was like and my sister is

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Speaker 11: OCD a bit cleaning, but by luck she was OCD.

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Speaker 11: We used to call him missus hyaphen. Okay, yes, So

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Speaker 11: we had to go to the toilet for an hour

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Speaker 11: with gallons of soda water run towels, and we finally

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Speaker 11: got it to a stage where if you went up

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Speaker 11: close you could see you know, like these etchings of it. Yeah,

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Speaker 11: you just couldn't see it.

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Speaker 5: But that took an hour.

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Speaker 2: So the bride just arrived and then she has to

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Speaker 2: pay for an hour.

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Speaker 11: And the cue for the lady's toilet because the day

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Speaker 11: of going the toilet it was It's funny now, but

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Speaker 11: at the time.

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Speaker 5: Terrible, so stressful and tears.

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Speaker 4: What about that story you say, Amanda, about that Scottish.

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Speaker 2: Is what I've heard is a bride sitting down and

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Speaker 2: she had an uncle wearing a kilt and he came up,

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Speaker 2: sat on a lap for a photo as a joke

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Speaker 2: in the kilt, gets up and he's left as skiddy

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Speaker 2: on a dress.

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Speaker 3: What'sman?

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Speaker 5: That's for Tales of the Skids. That's another time.

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Speaker 3: Jeff's with us as well.

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Speaker 2: Hello Jeff, Hi guys, very very well, what's spilt?

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Speaker 12: Jeff, We're I'm a landscaper. And years ago he did

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Speaker 12: a beautiful driveway for a customer and we had to excavate,

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Speaker 12: putting new drainage in the whole bit, and we colored

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Speaker 12: it and then we.

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Speaker 9: Had saw cuts put in diamond shapes is a.

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Speaker 12: Really nice intricate sort of word.

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Speaker 9: And then we actually finished, and I was going home

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Speaker 9: and I said, I can get the young black these.

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Speaker 12: Big drums drums of black emulsion which is like a bitchumen,

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Speaker 12: like a real black pluggie paint yep.

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Speaker 13: And he had to move them up the back.

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Speaker 12: So what he did is I'd left.

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Speaker 9: He got one drum.

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Speaker 13: And he put it out the front and pomped it down.

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Speaker 13: But what happened was the bottom of the drums split open.

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Speaker 13: He put six drums there. A few of the drums

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Speaker 13: split open right above the drain. It ran into the

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Speaker 13: drain over the weekend.

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Speaker 12: I went back on Monday, all the drains were blocked.

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Speaker 12: It had run down over the driveway, wrecked the driveway.

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Speaker 12: I had to cut the driveway up, put in half

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Speaker 12: half a driveway. I had to replace and replace all

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Speaker 12: the pipes and everything, and some embarrassing.

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Speaker 5: How much did that costume?

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Speaker 6: Chep?

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Speaker 12: It probably cost me about ten thousand dollars?

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Speaker 3: And how did that laborer go coming back to work

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Speaker 3: on Monday?

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Speaker 12: He was in trouble?

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Speaker 3: How was your weekend?

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Speaker 12: I'll just let it dry up.

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Speaker 6: I won't play that one night ring BOSSI and tell

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Speaker 6: him I let it dry up, and you'll just prackic.

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Speaker 12: And it'll just break off and pull out. It'll be

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Speaker 12: no probleit at all.

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Speaker 5: That didn't happen.

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Speaker 13: Dug it didn't happen.

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Speaker 5: I've lost the will to live.

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Speaker 4: Still, not as bad as a scotsman sitting on a

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Speaker 4: kilt and a kilt with no unders, but dreadful.

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Speaker 8: With join Z and Amanda