Speaker 1: Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
Speaker 1: lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
Speaker 1: elders past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 1: on Cut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is us Gun Cut
Speaker 2: where we answer you're.
Speaker 1: Dark and burning and deep down and dirty questions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Therapy Thursday, we call it, we do us.
Speaker 2: I mean, we've been calling it that for five years.
Speaker 2: And you know why we've been calling.
Speaker 1: It that for five years, because that's the name. Because
Speaker 1: it's our five year birthday. Bitches today, No, it was
Speaker 1: last week and we didn't celebrate. Why do we miss
Speaker 1: every milestone ever? July seventeen was actually our birthday. It's
Speaker 1: now what July twenty five when we're recording this, twenty
Speaker 1: July twenty four, one week exactly delayed. So we recorded
Speaker 1: on our anniversary.
Speaker 2: We did, and we completely forgot. And so I'm here
Speaker 2: to tell you that we have been.
Speaker 1: A happy family. Ben and I celebrated our six month
Speaker 1: anniversary and I can't even remember the podcast five year anniversary.
Speaker 1: Look in our defense, though, I mean I've had Tony
Speaker 1: May for almost sixteen years now, and not once have
Speaker 1: I celebrated a birthday. To me, you're like five years old,
Speaker 1: sixteen or fifteen, maybe it's fifteen. I've not celebrated a birthday,
Speaker 1: so I can't remember. But I started when I was
Speaker 1: in my early twenties. So ya, I'm fucking old.
Speaker 3: Go's how old you are? Do the match shocks me?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Five years her, Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Bridge.
Speaker 3: I would just like to say, oh something.
Speaker 1: If it's not going to be super emotional and made
Speaker 1: me cry, I don't want to hear it. I think
Speaker 1: I'm your longest relationship, most successful thus far. What do
Speaker 1: you mean? Think you are one hundred percent and you
Speaker 1: always will be too unless life Uncut finishes. If we continue,
Speaker 1: and then Ben and I continue, you will always I
Speaker 1: will always love me. I loved more by you. When
Speaker 1: I think about my professional goals, it's to outlove Ben
Speaker 1: with you. But am I yours? No?
Speaker 2: No, No. Matt is a longer relationship. I met him first,
Speaker 2: and then that is technically how.
Speaker 3: I met you.
Speaker 1: So I always unrequited love. Everyone stided, Yeah, but it is,
Speaker 1: but it's not as the same. It is a little
Speaker 1: bit triangulated, but it's returned.
Speaker 3: Britt.
Speaker 1: You know you came into my life and you are
Speaker 1: right up there as number one. I did have a
Speaker 1: five year I mean an eight year relationship. You remember,
Speaker 1: so long ago. Your life didn't work evidently, but I
Speaker 1: still had it. So I still feel like you've got
Speaker 1: a trumpet, do you know what?
Speaker 3: Not the same?
Speaker 1: But I always forget Delilah's birthday too. That's so harsh,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that matters as much. She doesn't
Speaker 1: know she's a dog. Okay, can I say one more thing?
Speaker 1: Oh God, do you remember?
Speaker 3: Okay, God, I can't even remember my own birthday. There
Speaker 3: must be so.
Speaker 1: Many people that listen to this when I make these
Speaker 1: analogies and be like, fucking shut up. Okay, But I'm
Speaker 1: always going to make these analogies because I don't have kids.
Speaker 1: I always say this thing. I can only imagine what
Speaker 1: a parent feels like. Because remember when last year I
Speaker 1: think it was, there was one of the dogs from
Speaker 1: the dog park. It was its birthday. And remember, because
Speaker 1: we live in the eastern Beaches of Sydney, the dogs
Speaker 1: had a birthday party. They hired the owner hired a
Speaker 1: mini van and went around and picked up all the
Speaker 1: dogs for the birthday party. Took it to somewhere that
Speaker 1: they hired out. All the dogs had a party, They
Speaker 1: had cake, they had hats. Then the minibus dropped all
Speaker 1: the dogs back.
Speaker 3: I remember this.
Speaker 1: Delilah was not invited to the dog park birthday. I
Speaker 1: was like, I imagine this is what it's like when
Speaker 1: you're a parent and your kid doesn't get invited to
Speaker 1: a party. Because I was up in arms, I was like,
Speaker 1: why would you exclude Delilah? Why is she the only
Speaker 1: dog from the dog park. There was one other Australian
Speaker 1: shepherd that also didn't get any fish. Delilah's best friend.
Speaker 1: It was Blue, Delilah's best friend. They're the mean girls,
Speaker 1: that's why. No, they're not the mean girls.
Speaker 3: Blues a boy.
Speaker 1: Anyway, that took a segway. But going back to the
Speaker 1: life on cut birthday, we laugh. But it's such an achievement,
Speaker 1: the fact that we've had this podcast for five years
Speaker 1: and it's almost I think we're around like seventy seven
Speaker 1: million downloads, yeah, nearly eighty million. That is one we
Speaker 1: will celebrate five years over five one hundred and something episodes.
Speaker 3: We are not six hundred.
Speaker 2: We are not people who I think, you know, a
Speaker 2: lot of other brands out there, and this is not
Speaker 2: I think it's actually an amazing thing. I think people
Speaker 2: should celebrate their achievements, and I think we should celebrate
Speaker 2: them loudly, but we haven't necessarily done that over the years,
Speaker 2: and it's because often the achievements kind of come and
Speaker 2: pass us by. And I really was going, like Matt
Speaker 2: and I were talking about it the other night when
Speaker 2: we were talking about the fact that we've had this
Speaker 2: business for five years now.
Speaker 1: Hate hobby that you had.
Speaker 2: That's a cute hobby that Matt told me, You know,
Speaker 2: no one listens to podcasts, Like, why would I want to?
Speaker 2: I was, you know, at the time, as you guys know,
Speaker 2: I was pregnant. Matt was kind of like, why are
Speaker 2: you taking on more things to do as hobbies?
Speaker 1: As hobbies? He was like, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: But he's obviously so proud of everything that we've achieved Britain,
Speaker 2: and he's also a podcaster now.
Speaker 3: Has a podcasts. It's a shame that no one listens to.
Speaker 2: Podcasts, but we are so incredibly grateful for everything that
Speaker 2: you guys as listeners, have allowed us to be able
Speaker 2: to create and achieve, because if it wasn't for you
Speaker 2: coming on and some of you are OJ listeners, you've
Speaker 2: been there from the very very start, some of your
Speaker 2: recent some of you been there at all different parts
Speaker 2: of your journey. But if there's ever been an episode
Speaker 2: that we've done that has meant something to you or
Speaker 2: it's helped you in some way, even if that's anything
Speaker 2: from just giving you a laugh all the way to
Speaker 2: helping you through a really challenging part of your relationship,
Speaker 2: it means everything to us. And that's been like the
Speaker 2: absolute kind of juice that's kept this thing going.
Speaker 1: We had no direction whatsoever when we started. I remember
Speaker 1: we were like, let's just do it a couple of episodes,
Speaker 1: see what happens, and here we are.
Speaker 2: See it's funny. I think we had so much direction.
Speaker 2: I think we knew exactly what we wanted to do
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: We didn't might be the wrong word, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: like we didn't know how long it was going to last.
Speaker 1: We were like, let's just put a couple episodes out
Speaker 1: and see what happened.
Speaker 2: But we always knew what the core values of life
Speaker 2: on Cut Work.
Speaker 1: We always knew what we wanted to do with it.
Speaker 1: We always knew the conversations we wanted to have. Pinkies
Speaker 1: and stinkies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I know that we're.
Speaker 1: Making it out like we've got some sort of deep
Speaker 1: political podcast that's moved mountains. No, but we wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about relationships and that's where this whole thing started,
Speaker 1: and I think at its very core, even though we
Speaker 1: talk about lots of things these days, we always come
Speaker 1: back to things that matter when it comes to relationships,
Speaker 1: and whether that relationship is with your partner, whether that's
Speaker 1: a relationship with your job, whether that's your relationship with money,
Speaker 1: or whether that's your relationship with yourself. They're the episodes
Speaker 1: that I think mean the most to me. And this
Speaker 1: is just taking a second to say, I'm so fucking
Speaker 1: grateful that we get to do this for a job,
Speaker 1: So thank.
Speaker 3: You, guys.
Speaker 4: Do you know what one thing that I don't know
Speaker 4: if I've ever told you guys this, I hope I have,
Speaker 4: because I was a listener before I worked for you,
Speaker 4: and I it was twenty twenty that I started listening
Speaker 4: to the podcast.
Speaker 1: I was living in Victoria.
Speaker 4: Anyone who was down there at that time, need I
Speaker 4: say more. We really lacked connection because we were in
Speaker 4: lockdown for the whole fucking year, and the podcast was
Speaker 4: this form of connection for me. It made me feel
Speaker 4: less lonely, and I think that I just felt like
Speaker 4: I had like.
Speaker 1: A sense of what was going on. But also it
Speaker 1: was like an easy entry and I think that still
Speaker 1: exists now for a lot of people.
Speaker 4: Like sometimes if you're not feeling that great, you can
Speaker 4: check a podcast on and feel better. Sometimes if you
Speaker 4: just want to go for a walk by yourself and
Speaker 4: listen to something, but you don't have to give much
Speaker 4: mental input. The give amount of people who have message
Speaker 4: and be like, I know, oh you don't know me,
Speaker 4: but I feel like we're best friends. That is like
Speaker 4: such a privilege. It's I you know, guys, I'm going
Speaker 4: to get emotional. I'm just very grateful and I'm so
Speaker 4: happy that we get to do this for a job
Speaker 4: and happy birthday life on cut because five years is
Speaker 4: a fucking huge achievement in this world, and I'm really
Speaker 4: proud of us.
Speaker 1: The funniest thing just happened actually, just before we're coming
Speaker 1: in here. I was lining up to get our coffees
Speaker 1: at the coffee shop, and so I was ordering and
Speaker 1: talking to the women behind the counter and we're having
Speaker 1: a laugh because we all know each other at work,
Speaker 1: having a big laugh. And then I turned around and
Speaker 1: the girl that was directly behind me was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god. She's like, it makes so much sense, and
Speaker 1: she turned her phone around. She's like, I'm listening to
Speaker 1: you right now. But then I was like, why does
Speaker 1: it sound like surround sound? Because I because I was
Speaker 1: in front of her also laughing and talking. So she
Speaker 1: was looking at her phone being like, is it skippy?
Speaker 3: Is it doc?
Speaker 1: Yeah? She was like, what's happening? It was literally surround sound?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I love that, Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for listening. But it was a very funny moment.
Speaker 1: But there the moments we froth, like when you actually
Speaker 1: see someone in.
Speaker 4: The wild and we get to meet you guys, can
Speaker 4: I say really quickly I know we're going on. I
Speaker 4: had that happen. It was only a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 4: I was in Tony May.
Speaker 1: I had Delilah, a beautiful listener walked in.
Speaker 4: She looked at me, She looked at Delilah and she
Speaker 4: kind of was just like, what.
Speaker 3: The She's like, you were phone and she showed me.
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm listening to you, guys.
Speaker 4: I'm in Low's store, You're like, and.
Speaker 1: She was shopping for earrings for her wedding.
Speaker 4: It was so lovely and I thought, this is actually
Speaker 4: such a funny, like full circle moment. Doesn't get more
Speaker 4: life on three components of this, And yeah, it was
Speaker 4: very it was a really nice moment.
Speaker 1: All of that said, I think it's probably time for
Speaker 1: vibes and unsubscribed. Yeah, okay, I will start then. My
Speaker 1: vibe this week is a Netflix documentary, very timely because
Speaker 1: of the Olympics. It's Simone Biles. The documentary story is
Speaker 1: called Simone Biles Rising. It's only two episodes I think
Speaker 1: of two hours each, so probably for four and a
Speaker 1: half fish. I don't know exactly, but it's not too long.
Speaker 1: And if you don't know someone Biles, she's the most
Speaker 1: decorated gymnast of all time and she's absolutely incredible. She's
Speaker 1: American and you may or may not remember, but back
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty at Tokyo Olympics, everyone was like, cool,
Speaker 1: She's gonna wipe the floor. With gold medals because she's
Speaker 1: so incredible, Like she has gymnastic moves named after her
Speaker 1: because she's the only one that can do them. She's
Speaker 1: just so good that she makes up new moves with
Speaker 1: new spins and twists, and no one else can do them.
Speaker 1: So what happened in the twenty twenty Olympics was she
Speaker 1: actually pulled out. She's something started happening to her that
Speaker 1: has never happened. She wasn't landing, she was going up
Speaker 1: and like you know, hitting the springboard, doing nothing like
Speaker 1: what she was supposed to be doing. And she ended
Speaker 1: up talking a lot in this documentary about what happened then.
Speaker 1: And it's something called like the twisties or something that
Speaker 1: happens inside a gymnast's head where the brain no longer
Speaker 1: can connect to the body, almost like a vertigo type thing. Yes,
Speaker 1: and it's something that happens in the gymnastic world with
Speaker 1: how many spins and they do. It's like the thing
Speaker 1: that they all fear. So she would be going and
Speaker 1: doing the jumps in the air and the flips and
Speaker 1: her brain's like triple flip whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, but
Speaker 1: it's just not connecting and a body can't do it.
Speaker 3: So wow, that's so petrifying.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So she had to pull out because you can die. Yeah, yea, yes,
Speaker 1: And she wasn't being able to compete anyway, so she
Speaker 1: pulled out, and then it just follows she never thought
Speaker 1: she would compete again. She talks a lot about her
Speaker 1: mental health and finding her husband, who's a football player
Speaker 1: over there. She never thought she'd make her way back,
Speaker 1: but she's at the Olympics now, so this is her comeback.
Speaker 1: And the documentaries followed her the last couple of years.
Speaker 3: Netflix.
Speaker 1: Netflix.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, did it.
Speaker 1: Cover the controversy that happened with the coaches, Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: It also she also touches on a lot of you
Speaker 1: might remember to a lot of the sexual assault accusations
Speaker 1: that happened within the gymnastics team in America and all
Speaker 1: of the young girls came well they're not young girls now,
Speaker 1: they're women, but they were young girls when it happened.
Speaker 1: It covers that as well. So that also leads into
Speaker 1: her having to admit that she's having some mental health
Speaker 1: issues and that was a really big thing for her
Speaker 1: to say, I actually do need to go and get help,
Speaker 1: especially in that athlete world where everyone puts you on
Speaker 1: the pedestal and you don't have these shoes. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I found it fascinating, educational, inspiring, really great, unreal. I
Speaker 1: have a bit of a different vibe for this week.
Speaker 4: My book club have started I say reading, but I
Speaker 4: am an audiobook girl.
Speaker 1: The club I've started reading.
Speaker 3: Until then we just drink wine.
Speaker 1: Well, I was in it for the social aspect, to
Speaker 1: be honest, I've started reading. That's the best line they read.
Speaker 1: I listen to the audio books you can get.
Speaker 4: If you pay for Spotify Premium, you can get fifteen
Speaker 4: hours of free audio books per month. So this one
Speaker 4: I just found out. It was only released twenty days ago.
Speaker 4: It is by Shari Lapina. Now she might be familiar
Speaker 4: to you because she has written thrillers called The Couple.
Speaker 1: Next Door, which I think they turned into a TV series.
Speaker 4: I just watched that with Sam Hugh and my celebrity
Speaker 4: crup It's Changer in the House and unwod Guest. She
Speaker 4: is a New York Times wstling author over and over
Speaker 4: and over again. This is her new one called Everyone
Speaker 4: Here Is Lying. I'll just read out the plotline for you.
Speaker 4: William Willer is a family man on the show, but
Speaker 4: he's been having an affair and that affair ended horribly
Speaker 4: this afternoon at a motel up the road. So when
Speaker 4: he returns to his house, devastated and angry to find
Speaker 4: his difficult nine year old daughter Avery unexpectedly home from school,
Speaker 4: William loses his temper. Hours later, Avery's family declare her missing. Suddenly,
Speaker 4: Stanhope doesn't feel so safe and William isn't the only
Speaker 4: one on the street who's hiding a lie. As witnesses
Speaker 4: come forward with information that may or may not be true,
Speaker 4: Avery's neighbors become increasingly unhinged. Well, initially I was like,
Speaker 4: I'm not really into thrillers. I have inhaled this book.
Speaker 4: I've had my speaker on it around with me in
Speaker 4: the house. Why don't you put last Night carrying boombox
Speaker 4: because like I can shower and stuff because it's waterproof.
Speaker 1: So She's also like, Toba needs to listen to this
Speaker 1: as well. Everyone needs to enjoy this book. He should
Speaker 1: with a boom box on his shoulder. Audio book The
Speaker 1: Tiny Wonder boom Ones.
Speaker 4: My book club have inhaled this book in literally a day.
Speaker 3: I love that I needed a new book.
Speaker 2: Recommendation It's also hard when you haven't gotten a good
Speaker 2: book in a while, you haven't sat down and read
Speaker 2: for like a while, it's hard to know where to start.
Speaker 3: You kind of feel like you're a bit out of
Speaker 3: the book.
Speaker 2: Well, page one usually, yeah, it's always a good spot anyway.
Speaker 4: But if you are wanting a book that like just
Speaker 4: such easy entry that you can just consume.
Speaker 1: That's gripping.
Speaker 4: Highly recommend It is called Everyone Here Is Lying by
Speaker 4: Shari Lapina. It is brand new, just came out on
Speaker 4: the fourth of July.
Speaker 1: Perfect.
Speaker 2: I'm excited about that recommendation, and also get excited about
Speaker 2: this one because this is one of the best sound.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm excited about this one.
Speaker 2: This is one of the best movies I have seen
Speaker 2: in such a long time.
Speaker 3: It's a biographical drama.
Speaker 2: It's a true story and it came out last year,
Speaker 2: but I had not heard of it, and my lovely
Speaker 2: mother in law was like, we need to watch this.
Speaker 2: So she watched it recently when she was in France
Speaker 2: and it was in French, but she was like, I
Speaker 2: think I missed parts of the storyline. I really want
Speaker 2: to watch it again in English. Anthony Hopkins in it
Speaker 2: the way in which the biography is told is it's
Speaker 2: him telling his story from when he was twenty nine
Speaker 2: years old. Now this story is based around the life
Speaker 2: of a man named Nicholas Winton. He was a British
Speaker 2: Man who went to Prague during the middle of World
Speaker 2: War II when Hitler invaded Czechoslovakia. There was thousands of
Speaker 2: displaced Jewish refugees in Czechoslovakia at the time, and so
Speaker 2: he went over there.
Speaker 3: He was a young banker and when he got.
Speaker 2: There, he discovered that there were thousands of children who
Speaker 2: were living in refugee camps at the precipice of winter
Speaker 2: coming and he realized that they were all going to die,
Speaker 2: They're all going to perish in winter, and so he
Speaker 2: came back to England and with his mum they started
Speaker 2: a ground roots charity. And what that charity did is
Speaker 2: it put out a call out for as many British
Speaker 2: families who would home and foster any Czechoslovakian children that
Speaker 2: they could, or any of these refugee children that they could,
Speaker 2: and they ended up homing six hundred and sixty nine children.
Speaker 2: They got visas for them, they brought them over and
Speaker 2: as some of you may or may not know, but
Speaker 2: basically every single person in those refugee camps ended up
Speaker 2: dying and being taken to concentration camp.
Speaker 1: So he saved so many children. It's an incredible story.
Speaker 2: The way in which the story's told is it's him retrospectively,
Speaker 2: and he's such a humble man. Nobody knew at the
Speaker 2: time the impact that he had made during the Holocaust
Speaker 2: and the stories like a tearjerk. Holy shit, I was
Speaker 2: a blubbering mess sitting on my couch. But I don't
Speaker 2: want to tell you the end of it because the
Speaker 2: end of it's really really remarkable, and you have to
Speaker 2: watch it because it was one of those movies that
Speaker 2: leaves you and it makes you think for days about it.
Speaker 1: Please go watch it. It's called One Life.
Speaker 2: I watched it on Apple TV, but I had to
Speaker 2: pay for it to watch it on Apple TV. But
Speaker 2: it is also an Amazon Prime, so there's a couple
Speaker 2: of places where you can watch it.
Speaker 3: It's phenomenal.
Speaker 1: We have some exciting news.
Speaker 4: Usually at this point we say that the vibes go
Speaker 4: in our show notes. But because every week, every week
Speaker 4: we get lots of messages, we get Facebook posts in
Speaker 4: the discussion group, saying, a couple of weeks ago someone
Speaker 4: mentioned this and I can't remember it. I don't know
Speaker 4: which episode it was in. I'm not going to go
Speaker 4: back and try and find it. We now have a
Speaker 4: place that the vibes will live.
Speaker 1: It is on the website.
Speaker 4: If you go onto Life uncutpodcast dot com dot AU.
Speaker 4: Along the top it says episodes about us merch and
Speaker 4: then there is a whole page that says vibes and
Speaker 4: it will have each person's vibe. You can click on it,
Speaker 4: it will have a link to it, and it will
Speaker 4: live there for probably about two months. I think.
Speaker 1: I think we'll do like eight weeks worth. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: not going to be there forever, so you've got to
Speaker 1: get in quick.
Speaker 3: Kids in kiss you did a very good job making
Speaker 3: this happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, speaking of the website, Lifeuncut Podcast dot com dot
Speaker 2: are you if you need yourself a jumper? There's some
Speaker 2: really amazing, beautiful ah we love love.
Speaker 3: Life on cut.
Speaker 1: They are jump It's so comfy. I'm not even just
Speaker 1: saying this because they're ours and everyone that has ever
Speaker 1: worn them is like, holy shit, They're such good quality.
Speaker 1: The inside is so warm and soft. I wear mine
Speaker 1: to death. So there's seventy nine bucks. You can go
Speaker 1: and purchase them straight from the website, so you can
Speaker 1: check out your vibe and get some merch on the
Speaker 1: way out. Question number one, I'm getting married at the
Speaker 1: end of this year. We sent the save the dates
Speaker 1: February this year. Actually, that's not a lot of time.
Speaker 3: That's very recent.
Speaker 1: Is a very short period of time between a save
Speaker 1: the date and a wedding right as someone that's now
Speaker 1: I'm coached, someone that's now thinking about these things. Guys,
Speaker 1: that's a short amount of time.
Speaker 2: How much time would you leave in between the save
Speaker 2: the date and the actual wedding date?
Speaker 1: Well, to be honest, I want to get married this
Speaker 1: time next year. You are fast tracking stuff like you.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think a year is fine. I think
Speaker 1: a year is fine. But we just couldn't get the
Speaker 1: save the dates out, so it's probably not gonna happen anyway.
Speaker 1: Now that's a whole other story. Let's get back to
Speaker 1: the listeners problem. Not fine getting married later this year.
Speaker 1: Since then, we have lost touch with a friend. We
Speaker 1: never see them, we never talked to them over social media, nada.
Speaker 1: They're still close friends with other mutual friends of ours. Though,
Speaker 1: question is if you send someone a save the date,
Speaker 1: do you then have to follow up with the actual
Speaker 1: invitation or can you just ghost them? There's no other
Speaker 1: aspect of money being an issue or anything like that.
Speaker 1: It's purely just that we're not friends with them now,
Speaker 1: we don't foresee a friendship with them in the future.
Speaker 1: So with only like an eight month in between a
Speaker 1: save the date and an invitation, can you cut it?
Speaker 1: It's not even been that it's been five months, like no,
Speaker 1: but between the wedding, Like, can you just not actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: because when they send the invite it would have been
Speaker 1: like two three months.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean we're only we're only July now
Speaker 2: and this was February, so it's been five months.
Speaker 3: Have you not sent the invitations?
Speaker 1: But since what do you mean? She only sent the
Speaker 1: save the date, she hasn't sent the invitation and it's
Speaker 1: at the end of the year.
Speaker 2: Girl, you're cutting it fine now because she sent the
Speaker 2: save the date, So it's fine. Invitations only go out
Speaker 2: like two months before the wedding.
Speaker 1: No for your wedding, they did it. I don't think
Speaker 1: that's normal. I don't think that standard practice. So I
Speaker 1: it's so awkward.
Speaker 3: It's so awkward because I feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: It's awkward because there's just not enough time between you
Speaker 2: save the date and your actual wedding invitation and your wedding.
Speaker 2: So that is probably why I feel differently about it
Speaker 2: because I did this. So this happened from like Matt
Speaker 2: and I. But the problem is I still turned up.
Speaker 2: I know, I sent her to text and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh God, finally she keeps nagging me.
Speaker 3: No, Matt and I sent up to save the dates.
Speaker 2: But then because of COVID, our wedding date changed multiple times.
Speaker 3: So did I just add one thing in before we continue?
Speaker 1: Laura says she sent Save the Dates and then she
Speaker 1: says she sent her invitations and we kept saying to her, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're not invited because she hasn't actually sent them. And
Speaker 1: I kept saying, oh have you haven't sent them. You're
Speaker 1: like no, no, no, no, no, swhere I have. After like eight months,
Speaker 1: we realized that she had this random website and everything
Speaker 1: was going to spam, so no one ever got the
Speaker 1: Save the dates and no one ever got the invitation.
Speaker 2: Every single person except for you guys, managed to receive it.
Speaker 3: Which is so hilarious.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Look, it was good for me because at least
Speaker 2: then I could pick and choose who I actually wanted
Speaker 2: to the wedding. No, so we sent up Save the Dates.
Speaker 2: Then our wedding date changed twice, so it got pushed
Speaker 2: back by two years longer than when we were actually
Speaker 2: supposed to get married because of COVID. And there was
Speaker 2: one friend who I had sent well, actually was a couple,
Speaker 2: but i'd sent Save the Dates to and then in
Speaker 2: that two years, I had never heard from them, not
Speaker 2: a text, not a phone call, hadn't seen them, not
Speaker 2: a like congratulations that you had another baby, like nothing,
Speaker 2: absolutely zilch, radio silence. So then when it came to
Speaker 2: sending out the actual wedding invitations, Matt and we went
Speaker 2: through the guest list. Matt was like, I've never met
Speaker 2: this couple, and I was like, yeah, I know, because
Speaker 2: you've never met them, you've never spoken to them. I
Speaker 2: haven't spoken to them, and so I just didn't send
Speaker 2: a wedding invitation to them.
Speaker 3: So I went for the ghosting route. I did that road.
Speaker 1: I blocked in ghost it.
Speaker 2: I didn't send them a message to say, hey, you're
Speaker 2: not invited, But I don't think that they were surprised
Speaker 2: that they weren't invited, because we've very much like gone
Speaker 2: separate ways since you know, nothing bad happened, we just
Speaker 2: kind of fell out of our friendship. I do think
Speaker 2: that this situation is a little bit more awkward than
Speaker 2: what mine was. But and I might be in the
Speaker 2: wrong for this. It's your wedding, and you're entitled to
Speaker 2: invite whoever you want to to your wedding, and you
Speaker 2: are also entitled to change your mind if you want
Speaker 2: to change your mind. It may mean that they hold
Speaker 2: a grudge against you, but you have said here just purely,
Speaker 2: we're not close with them now, and I don't foresee
Speaker 2: us being close with them in the future. So I
Speaker 2: take that last line as though you don't care if
Speaker 2: you're not friends with them in the future. So for
Speaker 2: the sake of a bit of awkwardness, you're gonna save
Speaker 2: yourself five hundred bucks by not having them at the wedding.
Speaker 3: And I would just ghost. I would just not send
Speaker 3: them an invitation.
Speaker 1: I am going down a different route.
Speaker 3: I would just not send them an invitation.
Speaker 1: Whilst I agree with what you said, like it's at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it is your wedding. You
Speaker 1: absolutely do not have to invite anyone you don't want
Speaker 1: to invite. But what I will say is I think
Speaker 1: that you should invite them. I know, listen, hear me out.
Speaker 1: You've said it's got nothing at all to do with money,
Speaker 1: Like you've got the space of them, You've booked your
Speaker 1: wedding right, you've already got their seat done, You've paid
Speaker 1: for it. If you're a couple months out, the wedding's
Speaker 1: paid for, you've sent invitations. You're not not friends. You
Speaker 1: just haven't been in a lot of contact. You don't
Speaker 1: see yourself friends with them in the future. I can
Speaker 1: guarantee you're not gonna be friends with probably a lot
Speaker 1: of people that go to your wedding. Seasons change, friendships change.
Speaker 1: You have also said that you've got like a big
Speaker 1: group of mutual friends. I don't think it's worth it
Speaker 1: in this situation, when it's only a couple of months away,
Speaker 1: you only just sent the save the dates. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's worth it for the future awkwardness when you
Speaker 1: are all in the same group to not invite them,
Speaker 1: purely because in the future you don't think it's going
Speaker 1: to work out if they had done something, or had
Speaker 1: they been a huge falling out or there was you know,
Speaker 1: a big clashing of hands or something. I totally get that,
Speaker 1: but I think this is going to cause you so
Speaker 1: much more hassle in the future because of how tight
Speaker 1: your friendship group is. If it was a random that
Speaker 1: lived in Perth. I say that coming Sydney that lived
Speaker 1: five hours away, and everyone who listens in Perth is like,
Speaker 1: we're not all random, Renee, I love you, My best
Speaker 1: friendly is in Perth.
Speaker 3: Renee, you will be invited to the wedding.
Speaker 1: You are invited to wedding yet, But like what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to say is if they don't live close and
Speaker 1: they're not intertwined in your life, your family or your friends,
Speaker 1: I think that's an easy decision. But like, you're gonna
Speaker 1: see these guys all the time, everyone's going to talk
Speaker 1: about the wedding. You're making it awkward as fuck for
Speaker 1: you for the next however many years.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna see them all the time because it's
Speaker 2: been five months and you haven't seen them or spoken
Speaker 2: to them, so you'll see that. Okay, I have changed
Speaker 2: my mind slightly okay, when that's only a little bit.
Speaker 2: I don't think you have to have them at your
Speaker 2: wedding if you're so convinced that you're not going to
Speaker 2: be friends with them in the future and you have
Speaker 2: had no contact with them. I don't think that you
Speaker 2: have to invite people out of politeness.
Speaker 3: To your wedding.
Speaker 2: But maybe ghosting is not the right course of action.
Speaker 2: I think another, probably much more palatable way of doing
Speaker 2: it would be to send them a message saying I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. I know that we've sent out save the dates,
Speaker 2: but financially we've had to downscale the wedding a little bit,
Speaker 2: and I you know, we love you.
Speaker 3: We want to see you, babe. We can go out
Speaker 3: for dinner or something pre.
Speaker 2: Wedding, but unfortunately, because of having to downscale the size
Speaker 2: and cost some things, we aren't able to have you
Speaker 2: at the wedding. And I know that that means that
Speaker 2: they're on the bottom rung of friends. But at the
Speaker 2: same time, they probably know they're already there anyway, if
Speaker 2: they haven't spoken to you for five months.
Speaker 1: I don't think not talking over social media and not
Speaker 1: seeing them a lot is indicative of not having a friendship.
Speaker 1: And I say that because that it's like a huge
Speaker 1: part of my life. Most of my friends I don't
Speaker 1: see very often. They don't live here like you know.
Speaker 1: I've got a small group of friends in Sydney, but
Speaker 1: most of my friends who will absolutely be coming to
Speaker 1: my wedding I probably haven't seen in ages and our
Speaker 1: Instagram social media chat involves sporadically sending a meme to
Speaker 1: the DMS or forwarding a funny thing. And that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean I value their friendship any less, but it means
Speaker 1: the old you get when you get to different places
Speaker 1: in life. Sometimes that is how friendships are managed. This
Speaker 1: is our summary. I think absolutely no one has to
Speaker 1: go to your wedding that you don't want. But in
Speaker 1: this particular situation, your question is I've just sent to
Speaker 1: save the date. It's a few months to the wedding.
Speaker 1: They're in my friendship group. Do I do it? It's
Speaker 1: not a money thing. Yeah, I'm going to say, do it.
Speaker 1: This is for me in pecular situation. So so do
Speaker 1: you know what I'd love to know from you is,
Speaker 1: because Laura and I have given you very different answers,
Speaker 1: I'd love to know what you decide to do. Can
Speaker 1: you please write in and tell us if you keep
Speaker 1: them coming or if you cut the cord? If you
Speaker 1: cut the cord? Are you ghosting them? Are you texting
Speaker 1: them and being honest? What are you doing?
Speaker 3: Also?
Speaker 2: Oh no, you can't fucking ghost the No, don't go
Speaker 2: for them, don't ghost them, but do send them message
Speaker 2: saying you're downscaling the wedding.
Speaker 1: I would I.
Speaker 2: Would love to know if someone else has done this, like,
Speaker 2: if you have done this with your wedding.
Speaker 1: This is not an uncommon things. I think it is
Speaker 1: uncommon when it's this close.
Speaker 3: Do you think it's uncommon?
Speaker 1: The only aspect here that throws me is is how
Speaker 1: crammed together the timeframe is here between the sending the
Speaker 1: date to now where you have to cancel them and
Speaker 1: send the actual limitation and the actual wedding. It's like,
Speaker 1: I think you're setting yourself up for a shit fight.
Speaker 3: Question number two. My partner and I can't agree.
Speaker 2: He collected our grocery order tonight for one hundred and
Speaker 2: forty dollars worth, but the company had an IT issue,
Speaker 2: so we never got the message to say that our
Speaker 2: direct to boot order don't even know what that is.
Speaker 1: That's where you pick it up and they put in
Speaker 1: your boot.
Speaker 2: Oh, our direct to boot order is ready, so he
Speaker 2: went inside the store to grab it. Two hours later,
Speaker 2: we got a message to say our order had been
Speaker 2: canceled and that we would be refunded due to an
Speaker 2: IT issue. The thing is, we got our food and
Speaker 2: now it looks like we don't have to pay for it, as.
Speaker 3: The refund is going to come through now.
Speaker 2: I think because they are a huge company and we
Speaker 2: spend at least three hundred dollars a week from them.
Speaker 2: I'm talking with a family of three kids, and we
Speaker 2: buy nappies, et cetera. And we are also farmers in drought,
Speaker 2: so we have been struggling to make ends meet. So
Speaker 2: I think that this is a little treat. It's almost
Speaker 2: like winning the lottery. He thinks we should ring them
Speaker 2: to let them know that we got the food and
Speaker 2: that we don't need a refund. I know he is
Speaker 2: morally right, but surely sometimes you just have to take
Speaker 2: a little win in life.
Speaker 3: Interested to know your thoughts.
Speaker 1: Oh, I think everyone listening right now is going to
Speaker 1: feel probably the same way. Morally, Yes, your husband is right,
Speaker 1: your husband's a good man. Morally, you have received your food.
Speaker 1: You do not need you receive them and theoretically, metaphorically
Speaker 1: and literally, you received your food. So morally, yes, you've
Speaker 1: received your food, and the money is coming back in
Speaker 1: and that means that they are out of pocket. So
Speaker 1: should you turn it?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna return it? No, Let's be real. Let's
Speaker 1: be real. I think most people in this situation would
Speaker 1: probably want to take it like a treat. There'll be
Speaker 1: people out there that wouldn't, that wouldn't be able to
Speaker 1: live with themselves. That's fine. What I feel like saying
Speaker 1: for you is, I feel like this is maybe a
Speaker 1: little win that you need. You said, you're a farmer
Speaker 1: that's really struggling in drought with three kids. I think
Speaker 1: you're going to keep it, and I think that's probably okay.
Speaker 1: I know people will probably come for me for that.
Speaker 1: But if you're struggling that much and it means that
Speaker 1: your kids get fed that week and you put nappis on,
Speaker 1: we know how much the big supermarkets can absolutely annihilate
Speaker 1: us sometimes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's so wrong.
Speaker 1: I feel guilty even saying it. If I ever accidentally
Speaker 1: take something, I take it back because morally, that's what
Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel really guilty, but I feel like
Speaker 1: maybe this is a little lot of win for you.
Speaker 2: I think you are trying to be politically correct for
Speaker 2: fear off people getting angry at you.
Speaker 1: I don't steal, I take stuff back.
Speaker 3: No, of course, of course you don't.
Speaker 2: You don't intention steal, Like I don't think anyone intentionally steals.
Speaker 3: Well, actually it's a lot. A lot of people intentionally
Speaker 3: steal a lot of people.
Speaker 2: But I think in this instance, and this comes to
Speaker 2: someone who is a business owner, like I feel as
Speaker 2: though there is and I don't want to say that
Speaker 2: there's differences in terms of the people that you steal from.
Speaker 2: There absolutely isn't, but like some from the big guy.
Speaker 2: But some people are going to be more affected by
Speaker 2: it than others. They absolutely are. That doesn't mean any
Speaker 2: of it is okay. I don't want anyone listening to
Speaker 2: this being like, oh, Laura thinks it's okay to steal from.
Speaker 3: The big guys. But I'm not endorsing for anyone to
Speaker 3: steal anything.
Speaker 2: But I just think, you know, as someone who owns
Speaker 2: a business like Tony May for example, you know, I
Speaker 2: would say ninety percent of people are super honest, ninety
Speaker 2: percent of people do send back or do make the
Speaker 2: right choice when it comes to, you know, returning money
Speaker 2: to a business. But I think the reason why people
Speaker 2: feel a little bit differently about it when it comes
Speaker 2: to something like a big grocery store. I'm not talking
Speaker 2: about your little local IgA. I'm talking about one of
Speaker 2: your big you know, your coals, your Woollies or whatever,
Speaker 2: is because of the markups that are existing across all
Speaker 2: groceries and the billion dollar profit that companies are making
Speaker 2: on food and necessities that people are needing to buy.
Speaker 2: So I think when you see in cross media that
Speaker 2: so many of these grocery stores have recorded billion dollar profits,
Speaker 2: it makes me feel a little bit less judgmental of
Speaker 2: someone who wants to keep one hundred and forty dollars
Speaker 2: worth of groceries because of a quote unquote it error.
Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, if all of
Speaker 2: these things are true, if you are struggling financially in
Speaker 2: the way that you say you are, then I'm kind
Speaker 2: of like, look, you have to sometimes prioritize.
Speaker 1: Yourself morallly, yeah, morally, the answer is obviously gas light
Speaker 1: light to your husband, say you took it back to cols,
Speaker 1: but keep the money in your own bank.
Speaker 2: And the story, I don't know so, And I think
Speaker 2: the reason why we're dancing around this is because we're
Speaker 2: not dancing well a little bit. Is because it is
Speaker 2: one where the right and absolute just answer is to say,
Speaker 2: don't ever steal. There's no situation where stealing is okay.
Speaker 2: Return what isn't yours and be an honest person. And
Speaker 2: I do do you think that that is definitely the
Speaker 2: right way to be in all situations in life? But
Speaker 2: I think sometimes there is like things that are horrifically
Speaker 2: bad when it comes to stealing, it comes to theft,
Speaker 2: and it comes to how it's going to affect a person,
Speaker 2: and then there are ways in which we allow ourselves
Speaker 2: to justify it because there's no little guy who's getting
Speaker 2: hurt at the bottom of it. There's massive, massive corporations,
Speaker 2: and I'm like those I feel a little bit differently about.
Speaker 2: But should I I don't know. Maybe I'm the one
Speaker 2: who's a bit of an asshole here as well. Well.
Speaker 1: I also think it's a different story when if you
Speaker 1: were going through the grocery checkout line and you just
Speaker 1: quickly took the money and ran off knowing that you
Speaker 1: weren't paying for it. It's different, like it's I actually don't
Speaker 1: think it is.
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 1: I think it's an intention Yeah, you set out to
Speaker 1: intentionally steal. It's very different to this being an it
Speaker 1: mistake later at home that you found out a couple
Speaker 1: of days later. Like that is hugely different to having
Speaker 1: the malicious intent to steal from somebody.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, here's my question though, because regardless of whether
Speaker 2: it's an opportunistic theft or an intentional theft, at the
Speaker 2: end of the day, it is still a theft. It
Speaker 2: is still it is still the same amount of money
Speaker 2: that you're taking from a business.
Speaker 3: So if you don't feel comfortable to.
Speaker 1: Walk down the aisle and put one hundred and forty
Speaker 1: dollars worth of groceries in your back pockets and up
Speaker 1: your skirt, then is it morally different to take advantage
Speaker 1: of a situation where you are profiting from something that's
Speaker 1: an incorrect error and that business is being affected in
Speaker 1: the exact same way. Intent is the difference between going
Speaker 1: to prison or not. Intent is a huge thing. Like,
Speaker 1: let's not downplay intent. Look, I'm still on your side, but.
Speaker 2: I think that's like a bigger thing to unpack, Like
Speaker 2: whether something's done maliciously or opportunistically, the outcome is the
Speaker 2: same because it turns into being malicious because you've got
Speaker 2: the opportunity to correct your ways.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look, is it wrong? Yes, it is wrong. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't have to go further than that. Stealing
Speaker 1: is wrong, Stealing is not right. You have taken money
Speaker 1: and you do know about it.
Speaker 3: Kesha's like that I would do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I having said that, I think in this
Speaker 1: economic climate, I genuinely believe and maybe you guys can
Speaker 1: all think in your own head what you would do
Speaker 1: right now, I genuinely believe there'd be a lot of people,
Speaker 1: probably more people than not, that would just keep this
Speaker 1: not mentioned the glitch. That's what I believe.
Speaker 2: I absolutely agree with you, Britt, and I think this
Speaker 2: would be such an interesting one to poll.
Speaker 3: Because I would love to.
Speaker 2: Know whether or not you guys as listeners feel more
Speaker 2: of a moral obligation than what we're saying we would.
Speaker 2: And I would return it because financially, I'm not in
Speaker 2: a situation that this woman is in. But if all
Speaker 2: of these things were my financial situation, if I was
Speaker 2: finding it hard to make ends meet at the end
Speaker 2: of the week.
Speaker 3: Fuck one hundred and forty bucks can go a long way.
Speaker 1: Question number three. I'm twenty eight and have never been
Speaker 1: in a relationship. A couple of years ago, I wrote
Speaker 1: a list of my ideal man ambitious, funny, chatty, reliable,
Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera. So when I was dating, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't entertain anyone that wasn't right for me. I was
Speaker 1: being very intentional, I mean, the early stages of dating someone.
Speaker 1: And he ticks everything off the list. He's really great.
Speaker 1: I feel safe with him, and my friends absolutely love him.
Speaker 1: There's just one small thing that's niggling at me, and
Speaker 1: in the grand scheme of things, it's really not major,
Speaker 1: especially as he ticks everything else off the list. But
Speaker 1: as I haven't been in a relationship before, I'm still
Speaker 1: figuring it all out. I always pictured myself with someone
Speaker 1: being the center of their friend group, someone that can
Speaker 1: dominate a room in a sense I guess a bit cocky.
Speaker 1: But this guy isn't really like that. That's not to
Speaker 1: say he's not confident, but I suppose it looks different
Speaker 1: to how I envisioned it. I realize I'm overthinking and doubting,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't help that we only see each other
Speaker 1: once a month, we live far away from each other.
Speaker 1: But any thoughts or advice, I mean.
Speaker 2: I think it's good to get intentional with what you
Speaker 2: want in a relationship, but not that eat like that's
Speaker 2: way too intentional, Like that's too specific around. I mean
Speaker 2: maybe if that is something that's really important to you,
Speaker 2: I would question how important is it and does it
Speaker 2: sit above things like feeling safe, being treated well being,
Speaker 2: you know, given respect, having someone who's funny and takes
Speaker 2: literally every single other box that you've given It isn't
Speaker 2: dominant in the room, which people can be dominant and
Speaker 2: being incredible people at the same time. But sometimes people
Speaker 2: who are the most dominant or the most like look
Speaker 2: at me person in that friendship group may not have
Speaker 2: all the other qualities that you desire as well. They
Speaker 2: may be someone who you end up finding and encountering
Speaker 2: other problems with because they like to be the center
Speaker 2: of attention.
Speaker 3: They need more XYZ.
Speaker 2: Now, I'm not saying that that means that every single
Speaker 2: person who's like that is a problem, no, But.
Speaker 1: Also sometimes there are people that are the center of
Speaker 1: attention and quite dominant in a room, actually not as
Speaker 1: confident in their private life, like in their selves. Sometimes
Speaker 1: that is a cover and a front. We see that
Speaker 1: a lot totally.
Speaker 2: Or it could be someone who displays all those characteristics
Speaker 2: and actually there's someone who loves external validation and that's
Speaker 2: part of the reason why they're so bravado in all
Speaker 2: these other situations, and then you run into the issue
Speaker 2: of them needing validation from other people beyond your relationship.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think getting down into the granular, nitty gritty of
Speaker 2: your expectations in a partner, there's a fine line. It
Speaker 2: can be really tricky because on one hand, and I
Speaker 2: know we have said it before, set your intention, create
Speaker 2: a list around like what it is that you want
Speaker 2: in a person. But I think that there is a
Speaker 2: point where you become too specific and you become almost
Speaker 2: like you build a human that doesn't exist. And if
Speaker 2: you don't entertain anybody else that sits outside of that
Speaker 2: like very specific criteria, you're never going to meet anyone
Speaker 2: that meets every single thing that you need.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, if that is so
Speaker 1: important to you, then maybe the person's not for you.
Speaker 1: But what I do want to say, is that a
Speaker 1: person that ticks every single box completely doesn't exist.
Speaker 3: There is no human in the world.
Speaker 1: That you will one hundred percent absolutely love and not
Speaker 1: disagree with and be completely satisfied with as a whole. Like,
Speaker 1: they don't exist. And I want to say, you don't
Speaker 1: want them to exist? What a boring existence it would
Speaker 1: be to have two humans who worship the ground that
Speaker 1: we walk on. We don't have any disagreements. We you know, like,
Speaker 1: it just doesn't exist. It's not a thing. And I
Speaker 1: don't want you to go and shut out this person
Speaker 1: who you've said is incredible and sounds like he ticks
Speaker 1: all those wonderful foundation building blocks that you need for
Speaker 1: a relationship to just because he's not walking into a
Speaker 1: room being the life of the party, like.
Speaker 2: You also think that like and this is like a
Speaker 2: condition I think some of us experience. Some people are
Speaker 2: chronic overthinkers, and so even when things are good, their
Speaker 2: brain will try and find something that's wrong. Like their
Speaker 2: brain will try and find, well, what's the thing that
Speaker 2: I can do to pick this apart? And it, yeah,
Speaker 2: it turns into it kind of goes into a bit
Speaker 2: of an area of like potential self sabotage. I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't want to give a specific example, but I
Speaker 2: definitely have friends who always look for the negative in
Speaker 2: the situation that they're in, and that can be really exhausting.
Speaker 2: You know, if you're if you're quite happy and everything
Speaker 2: else is great, I think always looking for like, well,
Speaker 2: what's that one thing that hasn't fulfilled me? Is going
Speaker 2: to leave you feeling a place of being ungrateful in life,
Speaker 2: rather than focusing on all the things that he does
Speaker 2: that's amazing and is giving you what you wanted out
Speaker 2: of a relationship.
Speaker 1: I also want to say that sometimes life doesn't pan out.
Speaker 1: Most of the time does out how we envision it.
Speaker 1: Even in my own relationship, I could say the same thing.
Speaker 1: I always thought I would be with somebody that was
Speaker 1: like the life of the party and really funny, and
Speaker 1: Ben is he's really quiet and shy, like he's really reserved.
Speaker 1: Thank fucking hindsight, because he's got me like somebody that
Speaker 1: talks underwater. But it sounds to me like you are
Speaker 1: maybe self sabotaging a little bit, because if somebody treats
Speaker 1: you exactly how you want them to be and everything
Speaker 1: else you want in a relationship. And if that really
Speaker 1: is the only aspect is that cockiness in a group,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be calling it a red flag. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be calling it quits on this relationship yet, and I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be overthinking it. I would just be seeing where
Speaker 1: the relationship goes. You probably do need to try to
Speaker 1: see each other more than once, especially while you're getting
Speaker 1: to know each other. Maybe if it's still early days,
Speaker 1: maybe he's still been a little bit reserved as well
Speaker 1: when you're there. Maybe he's still trying to woo you
Speaker 1: and when you over and doesn't want to be too
Speaker 1: much or whatever that factor is. But he sounds pretty great.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I also think like and tell me what you think, Britt,
Speaker 2: I'm I'm trying to think through every single person I
Speaker 2: know or every relationship I've been in where I've dated
Speaker 2: someone who is overtly and I use the word cocky
Speaker 2: like real bravado and I, you know, like the most
Speaker 2: dominant guy, and you know, they've always ended up being
Speaker 2: a bit of a dick, Like they've always ended up
Speaker 2: being problematic, someone who has like cheated on their girlfriends,
Speaker 2: cheated on me, or just like not treated women one
Speaker 2: hundred percent in a way that's like respectful. There is
Speaker 2: something about that type of bravado that isn't necessarily conducive
Speaker 2: for a great relationship or for someone who is a
Speaker 2: great character in other ways. I want to be really
Speaker 2: careful because I'm not saying that every single person who's
Speaker 2: like confident and an alpha is necessarily a bad person.
Speaker 2: But I think a sense of cockiness, like overt cockiness,
Speaker 2: is definitely not a characteristic that I would write down
Speaker 2: as an admirable or desirable characteristic in my partner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but everyone's different, And I guess that's what you've
Speaker 1: got to think. At the end of the day. You've
Speaker 1: written your list of what you want, which is great,
Speaker 1: we love that.
Speaker 2: Yes, But the big thing about writing a list about
Speaker 2: what you want is why why do you want it?
Speaker 2: Why do you want someone who is cocky? Why do
Speaker 2: you want someone who has bravado or is like the
Speaker 2: center of attention? And I think if you don't have
Speaker 2: a good reason for the why that's important to you,
Speaker 2: then I don't necessarily think the list is working in
Speaker 2: your favor.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Look, I think it's silly. This is what I'll say.
Speaker 1: I think that if you're gonna have doubts about this
Speaker 1: relationship because of only that one factor, and that's all
Speaker 1: that we have to go off right now, because that's
Speaker 1: what you're written in.
Speaker 3: I think that that's silly.
Speaker 1: I think you should embrace the relationship and embrace the
Speaker 1: important qualities of feeling safe, friends love, you have fun together.
Speaker 1: That is far more important. If you date for a
Speaker 1: little while and it doesn't work out, that's okay as well.
Speaker 1: But you're asking us if putting so much weight on
Speaker 1: this one aspect of dominating a room and he's not
Speaker 1: what you thought he would be when he's with his
Speaker 1: friends group, then no, I think that that's silly. I
Speaker 1: think you need to ride this out. Bury that insecurity.
Speaker 1: Maybe think if you're trying to self sabotage, I've been there,
Speaker 1: did it to all my past relationships. Just maybe embrace
Speaker 1: it for what it is. No one is going to
Speaker 1: fit your mold one hundred all right, guys, Well that
Speaker 1: is it and all the questions for today. If you
Speaker 1: have a question for Asking Cut and you want to
Speaker 1: slide on into the DMS, it's at Life Uncut podcast.
Speaker 2: Just righte Askuncut at the top. We love receiving your questions. Also,
Speaker 2: if you have any sort of aftermath, if we've ever
Speaker 2: answered a question for you and the advice was good
Speaker 2: or bad, please.
Speaker 1: Let us go.
Speaker 2: Said with so much confidence, Laura, because we love being
Speaker 2: able to update you guys on whether the advice or
Speaker 2: what happened.
Speaker 1: Basically, it's like never knowing the ending of a problem.
Speaker 1: Don't forget. Vibes are on the website. Merch jumpers are
Speaker 1: on the website. I think there are still some hats
Speaker 1: on the website too, you know what, actually hats ready
Speaker 1: as well. And we'll see you guys next week. Don't forget,
Speaker 1: don't forget. Tell you I like that. See you guys
Speaker 1: next week.
Speaker 3: See you guys next week.
Speaker 1: Talk to your friends and shared a love because we
Speaker 1: love the kabaka, the bay kapapaa