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Speaker 1: If you're one of the sixteen million people who follow

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Speaker 1: Kayla its cenus on Instagram, you probably see her as

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Speaker 1: a beacon of glowing health and positivity. But not only

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Speaker 1: is she a super fit influencer, she is the co

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Speaker 1: founder of one of the world's most successful fitness apps, Sweat,

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Speaker 1: which she co founded in twenty fifteen and has since

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Speaker 1: sold for several hundred million dollars. So what is life

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Speaker 1: like when so many people follow your every move on

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Speaker 1: social media? How do you stay grounded but also mentally

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Speaker 1: tough in the face of trolls and grumpy customers? And

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Speaker 1: what are Kayla's personal health and fitness routines As someone

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Speaker 1: who has a very busy schedule and is also the

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Speaker 1: mum to two little people. My name is doctor Amantha Imber.

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Speaker 1: I'm an organizational psychologist and founder of behavior change consultancy

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Speaker 1: in Ventium, And this is how I work a show

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Speaker 1: about how to help you get so much more out

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Speaker 1: of the hours in your day. In Kayla's most recent book, Reboot,

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Speaker 1: she talks about rituals and routines to improve well being.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to know what rituals does Kayla personally

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Speaker 1: use in her own life.

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Speaker 2: With rituals and habits and all of those things. To

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Speaker 2: make yourself feel happy and confident, you need some non

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Speaker 2: negotiables in your life. So one of those is working

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Speaker 2: out for me. And when I say working out, it's

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Speaker 2: not having to go to the gym and do a

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Speaker 2: strength training session. That might be something as simple as

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Speaker 2: a walk. It makes peopel so much better once I've done,

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Speaker 2: I like, I'm so glad I did that.

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Speaker 1: What else are your non negotiables when it comes to

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Speaker 1: movement during the.

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Speaker 2: Week, One seeing my family, whether that is on FaceTime,

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Speaker 2: I speaking to my family FaceTime or in person. But

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Speaker 2: I have to do that every single day. I have

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Speaker 2: to speak to my grandparents. I have to work out

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Speaker 2: or exercise in some ways, I just need to move

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Speaker 2: my body otherwise my mind feels really messy. I also

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Speaker 2: don't like mess so I will clean a space. That's

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Speaker 2: something so small, but I just need, like to clean

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Speaker 2: a space. And then like other things like just like

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Speaker 2: generally having a shower in the morning, having a shower

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Speaker 2: and I as a mom, that's a luxury. And then

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Speaker 2: my non negotiables also a coffee, Like I need a

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Speaker 2: coffee every day.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I clearly agree with the coffee. Now, I've heard

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Speaker 1: that when it comes to sleep, you're someone that's got

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Speaker 1: a brain that's going a million miles an hour. How

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Speaker 1: do you shut down your brain to get a good

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Speaker 1: night sleep?

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Speaker 2: Do you have a ritual around that? As a young kid,

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Speaker 2: I would dream up situations about what I would do

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Speaker 2: if I want a million dollars, and that would put

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Speaker 2: me to sleep. And I was like, think about all

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Speaker 2: these happy things. That's because I needed to think in

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Speaker 2: order to put my brain to sleep. Then there was

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Speaker 2: a period of my life where obviously I grew up

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Speaker 2: and I stopped doing the what would I do for

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Speaker 2: one a million dollars thing? And I was in my

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Speaker 2: teens and in my twenties, and I struggled so badly

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Speaker 2: with sleep because I forgot basically what I used to

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Speaker 2: do to put myself to sleep, and I did all

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Speaker 2: the wrong things. Like I would eat very late. I

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Speaker 2: would have like something like a sugary drink or like

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Speaker 2: a tea with lots of honey. I think he was

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Speaker 2: going to put me to sleep, but really woke me up.

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Speaker 2: I used to exercise late at night. I would sleep

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Speaker 2: in a room with absolutely no noise, so dead silence

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Speaker 2: and just my thoughts. And over the past three years

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Speaker 2: I have really developed this routine which has helped put

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Speaker 2: me to sleep, and it feels so advanced, but it's

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Speaker 2: very simple. Guys, like anyone listening to this is the

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Speaker 2: most simple routine. So a warm shower basic, everyone can

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Speaker 2: do that. The next one is a noise machine in

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Speaker 2: my room. So it's something like as simple as like

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Speaker 2: a brown noise which plays like plane sounds like equivalent

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Speaker 2: to what you would hear at a plane on the TV.

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Speaker 2: I go onto YouTube and I type in deep sleep hypnosis,

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Speaker 2: and I've said a timer on my TV for one hour,

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Speaker 2: and I hear this man's voice come on and he

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Speaker 2: talks to me about how he's going to hypnotize me

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Speaker 2: to sleep, and I've never heard the end of the hypnosis,

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Speaker 2: so it obviously works every single night. Keep in mind,

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Speaker 2: I do have two kids, one which does not like sleeping,

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Speaker 2: so I am up frequently. But the hypnosis does assure

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Speaker 2: me that I will be able to wake up if

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Speaker 2: I have kids, which I love. I think it's just

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Speaker 2: like that really nice dark room and my phone has

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Speaker 2: to be on like a nightmode. I can't be rolling

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Speaker 2: on a bride screen.

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Speaker 1: I love that sleep routine. That's so cool.

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Speaker 2: It's fine.

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Speaker 1: My mum's a clinical psychologist and one of the things

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Speaker 1: that she does with a lot of her clients is hypnosis,

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Speaker 1: and so it's something I've grown up with and I too,

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Speaker 1: have used hypnosis as a strategy to get to sleep,

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Speaker 1: and it is pretty amazing. Now, you mentioned your phone,

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Speaker 1: and when we spoke a few weeks ago for your podcast,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about your mobile phone usage, and yes, I

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Speaker 1: want to know what's happening with your relationship with your

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Speaker 1: phone since we last spoke.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so we spoke about me getting the hell off

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Speaker 2: my phone because I literally need it on me, like

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Speaker 2: to me. And we have heard so many, so many

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Speaker 2: stories over the years about how this is not good

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Speaker 2: for you, and I choose to ignore every single one. However,

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Speaker 2: since we spoke, I have made an active choice to

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Speaker 2: put my phone aside. I have even let Jay literally

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Speaker 2: just take my phone, just take it with you to

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Speaker 2: the gym, take it with you in the car, like,

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Speaker 2: just get it away from me. Anytime that my calendar

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Speaker 2: is like clear and I don't have something scheduled, I

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Speaker 2: try and put it aside as much as I can.

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Speaker 2: I do still use it as a baby monitor every night.

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Speaker 2: Somebody else said, you need to look at the world

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Speaker 2: like a kid, looks at the world like you've never

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Speaker 2: seen it before, Like look at the trees, look at

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Speaker 2: the leaves, look at the sky. I think, where what

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Speaker 2: is that? But I was like, I put my phone

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Speaker 2: away and I was like, I'll go for a walk

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Speaker 2: and I'll just look and like appreciate the world. And

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Speaker 2: it really helped. It was beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I can totally relate to that. I remember a few

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Speaker 1: years ago I read this book called Digital Minimalism by

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Speaker 1: cal Newport, and I did this experiment where I was

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Speaker 1: thinking about one of the main times where I'm consuming

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Speaker 1: things like into my ears, and it was generally on

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Speaker 1: the commute to work, so that was about six or

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Speaker 1: seven hours of the week, and it was also at

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Speaker 1: the gym, so another five hours during the week. And

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Speaker 1: I thought, I'm going to cut the time in half

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Speaker 1: that I'm consuming stimulus and the rest of that time

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to observe what's happening. And I remember

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Speaker 1: catching the train into the city at the time and

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Speaker 1: feeling so smart sitting on the train with nothing going

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Speaker 1: into my brain and just watching everyone else on their phone.

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Speaker 1: So I'm really curious about the idea of just observing

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Speaker 1: when you're out. What does that look like? Is that

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Speaker 1: a deliberate thing that you now try to do every day?

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Speaker 2: Yes? And do you notice how much of the world

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Speaker 2: you're missing? And you feel more powerful when you're off

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Speaker 2: your phone when you're just observing and you appreciate things more,

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Speaker 2: especially when you see people on their phones. You're like,

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Speaker 2: you're missing our life. You really are.

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Speaker 1: So have you almost thought about almost setting rules for

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Speaker 1: yourself just to deliberately make sure that you are having

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Speaker 1: that time that is phone free? Given I think the

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Speaker 1: default for all of us is that we just have

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Speaker 1: our phone in our pockets or on us at all times.

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Speaker 2: I'm a person who needs to set rules myself. However,

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Speaker 2: I'm the first person to break those rules. So if

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Speaker 2: you're listening to this, I am not perfect. I'm just

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Speaker 2: at this point like I'm very good at certain things

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Speaker 2: like get me in a gym, get me in front

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Speaker 2: of clients, Like I will train you, i will be

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Speaker 2: the best. I'll be all when I wake up early,

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Speaker 2: I'll go for a walk, I'll do everything with you,

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Speaker 2: try and get me off my phone. I'm literally the

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Speaker 2: beginner in the gym that's never worked up for just

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Speaker 2: trying trying.

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Speaker 1: At this point, I want to ask about social media

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Speaker 1: because I've got about three thousand followers on Instagram. You've

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Speaker 1: got about sixteen million, and I imagine you've probably got

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Speaker 1: a whole team that look after social media for you.

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Speaker 1: But you know, it's just got this way of pulling

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Speaker 1: us in, and particularly we the amount of people that

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Speaker 1: follow you and care about your life and your movements,

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Speaker 1: it's over half of Australia. Like, if you look at

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Speaker 1: it comparatively, how do you get your head around, firstly,

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Speaker 1: around that many people like watching you and wanting to

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Speaker 1: interact with you. How does that change your relationship with

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Speaker 1: your phone and specifically around social media.

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Speaker 2: Look, if I was trying to be an everything person,

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Speaker 2: I think I would find this very difficult. So, for example,

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Speaker 2: an influencer whose job is to research, study, accept products

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Speaker 2: and then try and allow others to purchase that would

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Speaker 2: be hard. However, I am a personal trainer and I've

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Speaker 2: always said that it's been the easiest job for me

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Speaker 2: on social media because I've literally just one I have

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Speaker 2: to talk to people about my lifestyle which I live

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Speaker 2: a breed health of business, and I get to showcase

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Speaker 2: the success of the community, which I absolutely love as well.

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Speaker 2: So social media for me is positive. It allows me

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Speaker 2: to reach so many women all over the world. You

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Speaker 2: do feel this responsibility to respond quickly, especially if someone

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Speaker 2: has like a very very hectic problem that you think

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Speaker 2: you can solve. A lady just messaged me today. She's like,

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Speaker 2: I'm X amount of weeks pregnant and I want to

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Speaker 2: be able to do this. Would you recommend doing that?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, like, I want to respond quickly, being like, hey,

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Speaker 2: just ask your doctor. So there's like this responsibility that

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Speaker 2: I feel. But for me, it's just my life and

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Speaker 2: I absolutely love a live and breathe It's my passion

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Speaker 2: turned into a career.

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Speaker 1: Something else, I feel like comes with the territory and

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Speaker 1: how do you decide and navigate how much to share

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Speaker 1: about your life and what to keep private? Because I

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Speaker 1: imagine like every conversation that you're having like this, decisions

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Speaker 1: need to be made in your head. Do you have

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Speaker 1: hard and fast rules or how does that work?

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Speaker 2: I have a flexwitch is I have a very clean record,

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Speaker 2: and so I'm pretty open with my entire life because

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Speaker 2: I have not done what most people at thirty years

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Speaker 2: old have done in their lifetime, things being like alcohol,

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Speaker 2: don't drink like I've never had a cigarette in my life,

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Speaker 2: don't take drugs obviously. So when it comes to sharing information,

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Speaker 2: I pretty much share anything and everything and all my experiences.

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Speaker 2: A lot of the stuff that people ask me to

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Speaker 2: share is not actually my stories, but the stories of

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Speaker 2: my clients. So they know me quite well. They know

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Speaker 2: that I'm in the nicest way boring. It's hard only

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Speaker 2: when people, for example, twist what I say to make

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Speaker 2: it more click baity for them, and I did not

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Speaker 2: say in context, Like I might say a sentence like

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Speaker 2: I really miss my sister and I hate that I

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Speaker 2: live at a different day and someone go I hate

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Speaker 2: cut my sister and I'm like, no, I didn't say that,

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Speaker 2: And then people ask why don't you open up, and

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Speaker 2: you're like, because you just said, you said what you said.

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Speaker 1: I can imagine that that must be so frustrating. Where

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Speaker 1: you want to give as much as you can of

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Speaker 1: yourself to an interview or what you're participating in and

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Speaker 1: it's almost being used against you. How do you then

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Speaker 1: go into the next interview or the next thing that

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Speaker 1: you're doing, and be able to trust in that after

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Speaker 1: you have been burned.

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Speaker 2: That's a really good question. I love that question. I

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Speaker 2: have no idea. I assume everyone has really good intentions,

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Speaker 2: and so when I get into those situations, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I just been let down. It is quite hard. I

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Speaker 2: don't know how I deal with it. I think I

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Speaker 2: just like get really angry and frustrated. But then I think,

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Speaker 2: what's the pot of be being angry and frustrated And

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Speaker 2: they'll just talk about it twenty four hours and then

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Speaker 2: I'll be gone. And I don't hate my sister, you know.

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Speaker 1: Like and she knows that ultimately that's all that matters.

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Speaker 1: When I've heard you talk in other interviews around just

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Speaker 1: how much you care so deeply for Sweat and what

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Speaker 1: you've created, and that's absolutely no surprise, like it is you.

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Speaker 1: You put everything into it. And I was hearing you

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Speaker 1: talk about how in the early days where you started

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Speaker 1: charging a subscription fee, which of course now is really normal,

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Speaker 1: that's a really common business model. When you did it,

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Speaker 1: it was really uncommon, and you've got some backlash, and

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Speaker 1: I was wondering, as a business owner. How do you

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Speaker 1: decide which schattels to fight and which ones not to

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Speaker 1: when business is really personal for you, It is really personal.

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Speaker 2: What I've learned is stop catering to the minority of

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Speaker 2: people that are complaining about something that they're never going

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Speaker 2: to download, they're never going to research, they're never going

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Speaker 2: to understand. However, you are reacting to these one percent

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Speaker 2: of people instead of appreciating the ninety nine percent of

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Speaker 2: people who have got some positive to say about this situation.

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Speaker 2: So in the early days when you first start business,

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Speaker 2: you see a thousand amazing comments, You're amazing, you're the best,

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Speaker 2: and I love you, and then you see one comment

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Speaker 2: thing like I heard you're a liar and you're like,

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Speaker 2: wait what, I'm not a liar of my life. Then

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Speaker 2: you freak out and you're like what did that? Why

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Speaker 2: did that one person say that? Like I'm definitely not.

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Speaker 2: And it's like you're ignoring the amazing people that support you,

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Speaker 2: and you're catering to that one person, and you feel

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Speaker 2: the need to argue, You feel the need to justify,

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Speaker 2: you feel the need and that's what I did, That's

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Speaker 2: all I felt like I was doing. So when the

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Speaker 2: subscription came out and everyone lost their minds. It wasn't everyone,

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Speaker 2: it was maybe one hundred people. The rest of were like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, sweat is an app incredible A hundred

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Speaker 2: people like that's too expensive. I don't want to do that.

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Speaker 2: It's not worth it. I've never paid that much in

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Speaker 2: my life. And I'm like everyone, I blank that everyone

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Speaker 2: is freaking out. They weren't. So if you're listening to

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Speaker 2: this and you run a business, do not cater to

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Speaker 2: the minority. Listen to the majority of people and what

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Speaker 2: they want and what they appreciate, because you'll make you

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Speaker 2: feel so much better. And journal gratitude. Journal right down,

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Speaker 2: you're grateful for those people. Write down the things that

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Speaker 2: they say, because it really matters. When you read it

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Speaker 2: in front of me, you're like, that's actually beautiful.

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Speaker 1: When things do come up in business, and I experience

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Speaker 1: this all the time as a business owner, where shit

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Speaker 1: will go wrong, or will have a client give us

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Speaker 1: odd feedback, or something will happen with a member of

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Speaker 1: my team and I'll be like, why do they do that?

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Speaker 1: Which are the things we're fighting for and which are

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Speaker 1: the things that I just need to let go?

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Speaker 2: Look, this is why I'm going to be really honest.

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Speaker 2: This is why I have a really good team around me,

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Speaker 2: because I am a person who likes to justify it.

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Speaker 2: I'm a person who will get frustrated. I'm the person

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Speaker 2: that will get angry. I love helping people, but when

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Speaker 2: people take advantage of that or they're worried about it,

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Speaker 2: I'm the one that will lose it. And I'm great, okay,

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Speaker 2: And I have an amazing team around me that are

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Speaker 2: very logical, that're like, hello, stop, here's why this happened,

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Speaker 2: here's the ways that we can fix it, and this

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Speaker 2: is like how we're going to execute this whole thing,

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Speaker 2: and oh, thank you so much. So you need a

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Speaker 2: really good team.

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Speaker 1: We will be back soon with Kayla talking about how

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Speaker 1: she manages to show up so positively as a leader

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Speaker 1: even when she's dealing with big personal challenges like endometriosis,

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Speaker 1: which can not only be physically debilitating but also hugely

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Speaker 1: mentally challenging. If you're looking for more tips to improve

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Speaker 1: the way you work and live, I write a weekly

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Speaker 1: newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips

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Speaker 1: to improve your life. You can sign up for that

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Speaker 1: at Amantha dot substack dot com. That's Amantha dot substack

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Speaker 1: dot com. I see you as a leader and the

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Speaker 1: kind of vibe that you put out, and you're so

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Speaker 1: positive and you're so upbeat. But you've always had various

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Speaker 1: struggles over the last few years, and I know you

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Speaker 1: have a come more public in talking about endometriosis and

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Speaker 1: just even being in physical pain, let alonely emotional or

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Speaker 1: mental pain that you've had to go through over the

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Speaker 1: last few years. Yet I feel like when I think

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Speaker 1: about you and hear about you as your style as

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Speaker 1: a leader, you really bring that positivity no matter what

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Speaker 1: is going on underneath the surface. And I would love

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Speaker 1: to know what are the choices that you're making to

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Speaker 1: be able to be that person as a leader in

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Speaker 1: your business, regardless of all the other stuff that's going on.

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Speaker 2: So I think one of the big things is you

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Speaker 2: can't be good at just one thing, be good at

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Speaker 2: a few things, and also don't like just one thing,

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Speaker 2: like lots of things. And the reason I say this

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Speaker 2: is because when I have, for example, endometriosis flare up,

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Speaker 2: I know there are other things that I can turn

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Speaker 2: to that I'm good at that made me feel good.

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Speaker 2: So I might not show up to a shoot because

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Speaker 2: I'm not feeling well, but I might be able to

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Speaker 2: be really good in a brainstorm session. I think that

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Speaker 2: having endometriosis is very hard. Like you said, it's not

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Speaker 2: only physically hard, but it's mentally hard. It is so

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Speaker 2: easy to just give up, Like it is so easy

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Speaker 2: when you're in that much pain, you just want to

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Speaker 2: be in bed. But I think that what I've learned

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Speaker 2: is if you have dmitrious is if you have any

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Speaker 2: sort of injury, if you've never worked out before with

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Speaker 2: find other things that you love that you can do

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Speaker 2: whilst you're trying to build your way back up, like

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Speaker 2: you will get back up, but find things that you

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Speaker 2: love that you can do, because yeah, and it sucks,

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Speaker 2: there's no cure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, on those days where it is really tough. How

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Speaker 1: do you think about showing up as a leader for

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Speaker 1: your team? And where's the line between too much honesty

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Speaker 1: and authenticity and almost like dragging people down with you

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Speaker 1: if you are just not feeling it versus going I

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Speaker 1: just need to push through and fake it till I

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Speaker 1: make it. In terms of positivity even when I'm not

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Speaker 1: feeling it, how do you navigate that?

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Speaker 2: I'm very honest I'm very honest so that I'm not

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Speaker 2: feeling it. I'll shop in a different way so I'll

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Speaker 2: be like, guys, we're not doing this, but I will

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Speaker 2: do this instead. It's hard when you can't practice what

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Speaker 2: you preach. I think that's the biggest thing for me.

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Speaker 2: I'm in front of people and they see me as

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Speaker 2: this picture of health. They exercise every single day, and

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Speaker 2: I drink water, I don't drink a go, don't take drugs,

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Speaker 2: I don't smoke, and that contributes to my healthy lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: But like, there are days where I am in bed

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Speaker 2: and I'm crying, but I don't show that on social media.

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Speaker 2: That is not what I want to show. That is

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Speaker 2: not what I want to portray, because then if I

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Speaker 2: only portray that, people think I only sit a bed

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Speaker 2: and cry and I don't. That's not the life that

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Speaker 2: I want. Like, it's just, yeah, just being honest with yourself,

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Speaker 2: honest with your body, honest with your team, and people understand.

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Speaker 1: I've heard you talk about mental toughness and how you

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Speaker 1: feel like that is a quality or an attribute that

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Speaker 1: you've grown a lot over the last few years. What

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Speaker 1: did that look like in terms of what strategies worked

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Speaker 1: for you, What did you go through to improve that?

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Speaker 1: As being mentally tough is a pretty good life skill,

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Speaker 1: how did you make that improvement?

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Speaker 2: I think I started in this journey mentally weak. And

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Speaker 2: the reason I say this is because I was very lucky.

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Speaker 2: I grew up in the most beautiful Greek family, and

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Speaker 2: I went through school with really good friends, and so

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Speaker 2: I did grow up with money, but I grew up

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Speaker 2: with love and like, that's worth way more than money.

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Speaker 2: So I start this business and I'm excited because I'm

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Speaker 2: young and I have this like bubble around me of happiness.

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Speaker 2: And then I go on social media and it was

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Speaker 2: like they weren't saying anything nice. It was like they

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Speaker 2: were just highlighting like negative or click baitings, And I

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Speaker 2: was thinking, what is going on? And I felt mentally weak.

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Speaker 2: I would cry, I'd be upset. I was thinking, why

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Speaker 2: did I bother putting myself out there, putting myself online.

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Speaker 2: I'm just trying to help women, and I'm getting all

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Speaker 2: this backlash about either the name of the program or

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Speaker 2: the before and after progress photos that we were uploading,

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Speaker 2: or if it wasn't that, then it was someone. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: how do I deal with this? And then now I

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Speaker 2: look back, I remember thinking I spoke to my family

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Speaker 2: a lot, so I reached out to people. I was like,

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Speaker 2: what do I do? And they're like, that is not you,

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Speaker 2: that you know who you are, that is a reflection

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Speaker 2: of them and how they feel about their life, like

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Speaker 2: you should feel sorry for them. And so it was

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Speaker 2: one day that someone said something super negative and I

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Speaker 2: wrote back to them are you okay? And I said

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Speaker 2: it in a way like are you okay? Like why

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Speaker 2: would you write something like that? Like it was something

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Speaker 2: so negative? And she wrote back, no, actually I'm not.

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Speaker 2: And she explained to me how she has anxiety, she

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Speaker 2: has depression, and she feels jealous of my lifestyle. She thinks,

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Speaker 2: and I'm portraying a lifestyle that is not real because

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Speaker 2: I have this close family and I have this amazing job.

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Speaker 2: And she's like, is it real. I'm like, yes, it

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Speaker 2: is real. Yes, I genuinely want to help you, and yes,

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Speaker 2: she goes, is it even you writing to me? I

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Speaker 2: remember it? And I said yes, and I said to

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Speaker 2: her a friend, I was like, it's mean. She's like,

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Speaker 2: I literally can't believe you are replying to me. She goes,

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Speaker 2: you have so many millions of people writing to you

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Speaker 2: every single day, and you've chosen to reply to me.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, can I help you with anything? And I

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Speaker 2: spoke to her for hours, like I'm saying, like I

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Speaker 2: think it was twenty four hours of just going back

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Speaker 2: and forth, and she ended up apologizing to me, saying

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Speaker 2: it's a mean problem, like I'm so sorry, I didn't

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Speaker 2: realize you were the person that you were. Blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Long story short. I think I've mentally got stronger by

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Speaker 2: actually like speaking to people, speaking to them about their

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Speaker 2: stories and their life and actually understanding where they're coming

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Speaker 2: from when they're saying those sort of things, rather than

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Speaker 2: taking it so personally because I take it as an attack

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Speaker 2: on me, and w It's really not attack of me.

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Speaker 2: It's a reflection of how they feel about themselves. I

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Speaker 2: think realizing that and understanding that has made me so

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Speaker 2: much mentally tougher. Also made me a friend to these

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Speaker 2: people as well, and they see me as a friend too,

433
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 2: which I love.

434
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 1: It's such a powerful story in terms of leaning in

435
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 1: to the people that are engaging in troll like behavior.

436
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 1: What were the key things that you learned from that

437
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,879
Speaker 1: experience that I guess I've stuck with you now.

438
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 2: When you're personal training, you're like a soundboard but people's problems.

439
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 2: But you're also like a punching bag as well. I

440
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 2: learned so much from people's stories, whether they were negative

441
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 2: or positive. And that's why I love the boot camps

442
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 2: because people came and they're like, I just not like you,

443
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 2: Like I also look at your life. I think you

444
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,919
Speaker 2: weren't being truthful. Now I met you and you're exactly

445
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 2: how you are, Like my friend dragged me here like

446
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 2: it was literally stuff like that, and I'm like, would

447
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 2: you like me now?

448
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 1: They're like, yes, when you are in a situation where

449
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,399
Speaker 1: you're a bit worried about what you're going to be

450
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: on the receiving end of the specific strategies that you'll

451
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 1: still use to this day, yes.

452
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 2: Like I will try and speak to people before they like.

453
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 2: This is media specifically about try and get to know

454
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 2: them before they press record. I spoke to someone the

455
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 2: other day and they did not give me the response

456
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 2: that I was looking for. They gave me something way funnier,

457
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 2: and I literally I didn't know how to respond. I said,

458
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,199
Speaker 2: whenever you don't feel confident, what do you do? And

459
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 2: I was expecting her to say meditate or positive affirmation.

460
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 2: She goes, I think, like a white man. What and

461
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 2: she goes, I think and pretend I am a white man.

462
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,959
Speaker 2: She goes, I went into the gym, and I watched

463
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 2: this man walk around the gym, pose in the mirrors,

464
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 2: do absolutely nothing, walked around with absolute confidence, and then

465
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 2: just left, didn't do anything. I just channeled his energy.

466
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 2: And I went to an event and I was nervous

467
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 2: that I choweled his energy and I and I was like,

468
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 2: that was not the response that I wanted from you, Like,

469
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:10,640
Speaker 2: that's not what I say. My alternative is just fake

470
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 2: some confidence, like fake you two make it literally and

471
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 2: just start asking questions because no one will know, and

472
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 2: then you'll slowly warm up and it slowly becomes just

473
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 2: easy for you to speak to people.

474
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 1: How do you read the situation to know if you

475
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 1: do need to be like a little bit on high alert,

476
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 1: particularly for interviews and media, like what are the cues

477
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: that you're looking for to go, oh, this is going

478
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 1: to be one of those interviews.

479
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 2: So I honestly think I have a very high EQ.

480
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 2: I think I'm very empathetic. So when I go into

481
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 2: a situation, I think I'm able to read the room,

482
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 2: and I think given the history of like ten years

483
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 2: working with like media and just people in general, I

484
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 2: think I'm able to read a room quite quickly. I

485
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,719
Speaker 2: just want to be myself basically, stick to what I know.

486
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,679
Speaker 2: Don't ask me questions about things that I don't personally know,

487
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,360
Speaker 2: so I just stay in my lane. And that's why

488
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,880
Speaker 2: I may would be as confident as I am.

489
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 1: What strategy have you used to be at peace that

490
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 1: there are going to be a small percentage of people

491
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: that you're just not going to win over and assume

492
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 1: the worst.

493
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's really hard if you're starting out,

494
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 2: because if you know exactly who you are and you

495
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,439
Speaker 2: have a certain set of morals that you stick to,

496
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: it's very hard when someone questions that because you know

497
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 2: you're not that person. But I think in the same sense,

498
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,679
Speaker 2: if you know who you are and you have a

499
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 2: certain set of morals that you stick to, you know

500
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 2: you're not that person. Therefore, nothing that someone can say

501
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 2: that doesn't know you can affect you because they don't

502
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 2: know you. They don't know who you are. And I

503
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 2: think it's important having things that you love and your

504
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 2: non negotiables that for example, mine and my family and

505
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 2: spending time with my kids and spending time with my husband,

506
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 2: and I know that these people love me. So when

507
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,239
Speaker 2: someone doesn't love me that I don't know, I just

508
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 2: don't care, Like I just don't care. And I think

509
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: it's really hard when you feel so alone and you

510
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 2: don't have things that you love and you don't have hobbies.

511
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: It's very easy to take someone else's opinion of you

512
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,360
Speaker 2: and take that as gospel, and take that offense, take

513
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 2: that you know to heart. Whereas on the flip side,

514
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 2: lots of love. Let's care about what someone else thinks

515
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 2: about you.

516
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 1: I love that, Kayla. That's such great advice. Now for

517
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: people that want to consume more of what you're putting

518
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 1: out and get their hands on Reboot, your latest book.

519
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,720
Speaker 1: What is the best way for people to do that?

520
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 2: Can you just get it in any bookstore or online? Yeah,

521
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 2: it's super easy. Reboot is not a book for someone

522
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 2: who is like an athlete, high intensity, you're going to

523
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,360
Speaker 2: climb a mountain. No, Reboot is a book for if

524
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: you resonate with rebooting your life and starting again and

525
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,119
Speaker 2: taking exercise, not feel like a chore. That's what's in

526
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,479
Speaker 2: this book. So it's for that person who's feeling a

527
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 2: little bit lost that needs to reboot start again. And

528
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 2: that's not just a post pardon mum. That is a

529
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 2: person that's coming back from injury, someone who wants to

530
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 2: change of life, someone who's never been to the gym

531
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 2: before starting again. Like, there's just so many people that

532
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:53,479
Speaker 2: this book resonates with.

533
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for trusting me to interview you today,

534
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: and I promise I'm not going to get any clickbaity

535
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 1: weird edits out of this interview.

536
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 2: You have my word. I appreciate that.

537
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this chat with Kayla. And if

538
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: you know someone who would benefit from the strategies that

539
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: Kaylor and I chatted about, why not share this episode

540
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: with them. If you enjoyed today's episode, I would love

541
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,120
Speaker 1: to ask a favor. Click follow on the podcast app

542
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: that you're listening to this on, and if you're feeling

543
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: really generous, leave a review for the show. Following this

544
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: podcast and leaving reviews helps how I work find new listeners,

545
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: and your support is one of the things that makes

546
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 1: this podcast possible. Thank you for sharing part of your

547
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: day with me by listening to How I Work. If

548
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: you're keen for more tips on how to work better,

549
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: connect with me via LinkedIn or Instagram. I'm very easy

550
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: to find. Just search for Amantha Imba. How I Work

551
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:59,439
Speaker 1: was recorded on the traditional land of the Warrenery people,

552
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 1: part of the cool And Nation. I am so grateful

553
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: for being able to work and live on this beautiful

554
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 1: land and I want to pay my respects to elder's past,

555
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 1: present and emerging. How I Work is produced by me

556
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 1: Amantha Imber. The episode producer was Rowena Murray, and thank

557
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: you to Martin Imba who does the audio mix for

558
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: every episode and makes everything sound better than it would

559
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: have otherwise.