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Speaker 1: Get a. I'm Lala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,

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Speaker 1: and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure

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Speaker 1: because I believe it's a chance for us to learn,

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Speaker 1: grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview

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Speaker 1: a different guest about their highs as well as their lows,

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Speaker 1: all in a bid to inspire us to feiously fail.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to fearlessly failing. Today's guest is an Aussie that

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Speaker 1: I now having read his books and now interviewed, I

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Speaker 1: really look up to. He is just himself and I

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Speaker 1: think that's kind of a rare quality, but a really

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Speaker 1: engaging and almost like you just want to be around

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Speaker 1: people who are just the real deal. I better say

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Speaker 1: what is right. Hugh Van kylen Berg. So he's written

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Speaker 1: two best selling books, The Resilience Project and more recently

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Speaker 1: Let Go. Now when you read his books, because I've

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Speaker 1: binged both of them, it literally feels like you're just

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Speaker 1: having an old chin wag with him. And that's the

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Speaker 1: way he's in real life. Like this guy has no

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Speaker 1: filter and he does this thing that I love that

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Speaker 1: is so iconically ozsy. He laughs at his own expense

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Speaker 1: all the time and he's very, very, very funny even

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Speaker 1: I think it's just done his first stand up gig

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Speaker 1: at the Melbourne Comedy Festival too, which makes perfect sense

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Speaker 1: to me. He describes himself as a teacher and storyteller,

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Speaker 1: but I think he's definitely got to add comedian to

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Speaker 1: that list now, really really cool human His whole philosophy

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Speaker 1: and value system is called GEM so it's all about

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Speaker 1: practicing gratitude, empathy and mindfulness. He shares personal stories and

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Speaker 1: everything he's about is so approachable and easy to grasp

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Speaker 1: and get your head around. If you haven't read his books,

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Speaker 1: do there's such easy reads and that, like I said earlier,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like a combo, it's like you're kind

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Speaker 1: of just it's really easy to get your mind around,

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Speaker 1: and he's just really cool human being. I'm totally waffling now,

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Speaker 1: So without further ado, how about we listen to Hugh

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Speaker 1: van kylen Berg. Okay, we've practiced your name about five

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Speaker 1: times now.

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Speaker 2: I'm not confident, but.

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Speaker 1: Hugh Van kylen Berg perfect. No, that's the first time

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Speaker 1: I got it right.

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Speaker 2: Literally four seconds ago. You got it very wrong. So

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Speaker 2: I'm very ambresed.

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Speaker 1: I am so excited to have you on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'll explain how I discovered you in a second, but

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Speaker 1: just for everyone new to you, although I'm sure they're

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Speaker 1: not new to you because your book, your first book

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Speaker 1: is a bestseller and over two hundred thousand copies. You

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Speaker 1: know that.

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Speaker 2: I was like, whoa, yeah, it's I think I accidentally

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Speaker 2: chose was a really good time to write a book

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Speaker 2: on how you cope well in a challenging time, like

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Speaker 2: it came out just before the pandemic, right, and so

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Speaker 2: I think it was an accident.

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Speaker 1: Such a great book. So I love thank you. I

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Speaker 1: love that your book publishert said when you were like,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to write a second one, didn't your publicist go, well,

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Speaker 1: they shouldn't really need another book if the first one's working.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well that that was my Yeah, I incorrectly said

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Speaker 2: my publicist in an interview I did the other day,

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Speaker 2: which you obviously heard, and of my publicists called me

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Speaker 2: and said, I don't remember saying that. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: I didn't. I feel terrible And I said, no, not

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Speaker 2: you I'm talking about. And it was my agent, was

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Speaker 2: my agent, it was my book agent. It was like, well,

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Speaker 2: why are you so yeah, you know We're assuming everyone's

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Speaker 2: happy now they read your book, you don't need to

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Speaker 2: do another one, so.

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Speaker 1: It makes sense. But I like the I'm really excited

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Speaker 1: to dive into the second book because and I'm so

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Speaker 1: pumped to read it myself. You've just given me a coffee.

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Speaker 1: It's out tomorrow. But this is where I discovered you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So actually, first of all, you're an educator, a speaker,

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Speaker 1: and author. You have a you can swear on this podcast,

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Speaker 1: by the way, just so you know, you have a

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Speaker 1: fucking hilarious podcast that I was just like, like, I

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Speaker 1: went back and listened to it, so I love the

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Speaker 1: the vulnerability tea house epsides with the music and like,

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Speaker 1: oh so good.

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Speaker 2: I did just to do two things. First of all,

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Speaker 2: to swear and agree with you. I fucking love doing

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Speaker 2: it too.

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Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with the podcast. Obsessed, isn't it great?

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Speaker 2: And often I feel like I don't know if anyone'

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Speaker 2: gonna listen to this, but I feel like this conversation

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Speaker 2: has been really good for me and I've learned heats

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Speaker 2: from it, so you know, if it helps someone else,

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Speaker 2: that's nice, But it's something I don't know. You don't

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Speaker 2: really make money from podcasts. So it's like it just

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Speaker 2: feels good to be having good conversations and if people listen, they.

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Speaker 1: Listen super relatable too, Like I was relating when you

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Speaker 1: were sharing about like there you pulled the card which

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Speaker 1: is like what do you look at in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and check out? And you're like, my stomach and you're

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Speaker 1: a really letan guy, Like I'm sitting opposite you here

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my goodness, I forget that.

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Speaker 1: It affects everybody, like and we are so self critical.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, can I'll give you an example of that. So

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Speaker 2: so for those you who haven't heard our podcasts, as

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Speaker 2: that we draw cards and you've got to answer a question.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to, but it'd be a pretty bad

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Speaker 2: episode if you didn't answer a question. But there are

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Speaker 2: three questions to choose one to answer. And my question

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Speaker 2: was what do you look at most in the mirror?

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Speaker 2: What do you look at the mirror when you look

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Speaker 2: at yourself? And this has never been the case, but

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Speaker 2: at age forty, it was my abs, Like I just

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Speaker 2: become because I got right into sprinting and athletics. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and the first time in my life I had like abs.

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Speaker 2: But then I became. I was like, why don't I

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Speaker 2: have like an eight pack? Other sprinters have eight packs,

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Speaker 2: not like and it was just and then today, so

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Speaker 2: this morning I went did a session up at Melbourne University.

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Speaker 2: This is big, like a mirror wall along the side

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Speaker 2: of the track and it's hot, and I'd read this

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Speaker 2: thing about how whenever you can, you're training with your

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Speaker 2: top off, because that's and I've always been I'm never

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Speaker 2: taking my top off a training never. I'm not doing that.

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Speaker 2: I see people do it. That's not me. But then

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Speaker 2: I saw this thing that said some leads to vitamin

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Speaker 2: D environment D's what gives you, don't mean. And for

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Speaker 2: sprinters you get great arrange of movement. You move and

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Speaker 2: you have reckless confidence. That was the words.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, sign me.

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Speaker 2: I want this, like I'm doing podcast later. I want

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Speaker 2: to feel recklessly confident. And so I took my top off.

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Speaker 2: So I was lovely. I was like in the sun,

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Speaker 2: it's warm, first warm day Melbourne. Ten minutes in and

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Speaker 2: I sort of saw myself in the reflection. I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, what are you doing, Like you're not

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Speaker 2: completely put your top back on. So I'll put my

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Speaker 2: top back on. So I thought I was free of it,

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Speaker 2: and I've just read a book about how I am.

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Speaker 2: But this morning I was like, put your top back on.

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Speaker 2: It's not an ET pack. Just calm down.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that you said that, though, because I think

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Speaker 1: it's something I'm very pro mental health as well, and

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Speaker 1: I've had a therapist consistently now for four years or

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Speaker 1: so maybe five. Yeah, and it's constant work. You can't

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Speaker 1: like I always said, well, you don't go and get

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Speaker 1: help because you feel broken. When you're feeling good is

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Speaker 1: when you get to work on yourself and process. And

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Speaker 1: I think it's a constant We're human beings. We're changing

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Speaker 1: every single day and we're processing different things. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: my same COVID mechanisms will crop up when I'm stressed down.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I keep it there that I can

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Speaker 1: process stuff fast. But at the same time, I feel

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Speaker 1: like the way you were talking about your top, even

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Speaker 1: though you've kind of like already shared it with your

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Speaker 1: mates on the pod, Yeah, it never goes like there's

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Speaker 1: always something that there's always some little bit of self

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Speaker 1: doubt that you kind of got a face or understand

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Speaker 1: or hang on that sad thing I do, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to choose.

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Speaker 2: Not to listen to that. Yeah, I mean we're all

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Speaker 2: we're all insecure. We all have these things we don't

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Speaker 2: like about ourselves, but we never really talk about them

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Speaker 2: because there are things that we fear disconnect us from

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Speaker 2: people or people like we don't people to know about them.

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Speaker 2: But the iron e is I've felt that the more

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Speaker 2: I share them, the more I talk about my insecurities,

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Speaker 2: all it does is just connect me to people more.

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Speaker 2: And so I've been doing I did a show in

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Speaker 2: Newcastle on Saturday, first one back in.

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Speaker 1: So lucky to have locked into this pod. I saw

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Speaker 1: your talking speaking schedule and I was like, shit, am

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Speaker 1: I going to get in?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, yeah, great this is happening because it was

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Speaker 2: like and I started off telling the audience how I'd

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Speaker 2: forgotten how terrifying it was and how nervous I was. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, I was like, oh, cool,

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Speaker 2: that's out there that I'm nervous, and then like I

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Speaker 2: think it, people are like, yeah, I would be nervous

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Speaker 2: to doing this, and then they relate to it in

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Speaker 2: your human It's not like everybody. It's not like a

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Speaker 2: Tony Robbins like, fuck yeah, like me like the.

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Speaker 1: Fucking king on fire.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, like I think I think the more imperfect,

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Speaker 2: Like we're in perfect, we should celebrate it more.

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Speaker 1: Hence the podcast name, right, that what it's called.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the Imperfect.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, this is how I feel out about. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: So recently I've been I've just moved to LA and

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Speaker 1: I live half in LA and my brother is a

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Speaker 1: clearance diver in the Navy, so he literally has to

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Speaker 1: go to the bottom of the ocean and disarm bombs

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Speaker 1: and stuff like super high pressure. Wow, right, cool job.

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Speaker 2: Have you got an episode with him on your podcast?

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Speaker 1: I have to, don't I I would love to hear

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Speaker 1: that I have. I haven't yet. His poor bugger's been

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Speaker 1: trapped in Perth the whole time, so I haven't been

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Speaker 1: able to I'm.

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Speaker 2: A big I thought, I'm so trapped underwater.

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Speaker 1: No, he's living his best life. But I'm a big

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Speaker 1: stickler for real life interviews because I just love to

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Speaker 1: connect to people. And anyway, I was in LA and

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Speaker 1: I get this message from him pings up on my Facebook,

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Speaker 1: you know, instant message ut, and he's like, hey, I

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Speaker 1: think he does it. He is a man of not

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Speaker 1: many words, but he's like, I think you really love this.

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Speaker 1: It's part of my training program in the Navy. And

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Speaker 1: it was a video of you, Oh really yeah. And

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Speaker 1: I started watching and all of a sudden, I was

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Speaker 1: taking notes and I was like, oh my god. And

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Speaker 1: I was writing my manuscript at the same time, and

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Speaker 1: I've quoted you in my book because after watching really yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you're in the resources and everything. After watching this

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Speaker 1: one video my brother sent me six months ago.

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Speaker 2: See, I didn't even know we were doing stuff in

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Speaker 2: the navy. That's amazing. It's incredible.

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Speaker 1: And he told me it was part of his He wrote,

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Speaker 1: watch this. We watched this bed as part of our

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Speaker 1: personal development at work. Good watch You'll like it. How's

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Speaker 1: la That's what my brother wrote, but how right? And

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Speaker 1: he's like obviously like super very like stoic, very masculine

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Speaker 1: and all that. He was just like, this is awesome.

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Speaker 1: You need to see it. That's how I And then

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Speaker 1: fast forward to two days ago, I was at my

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Speaker 1: mom's place and I was like, am I going to

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Speaker 1: s this why I'm interviewing on the podcast this week?

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited And she's like, you know, you guys

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Speaker 1: have already crossed paths. And I was like, pardon, we've

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Speaker 1: never met before. You and I've never met before as

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Speaker 1: far as I'm away, yep, and she goes, I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I went to a nurse's conference. My mam is a nurse,

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Speaker 1: and she said you were both on the speaker's bill.

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Speaker 1: I spoke an hour.

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Speaker 2: Before you at the Melbourne convention.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, in twenty seventeen.

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Speaker 2: You're kidding me.

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Speaker 1: But I was shooting my cookbook at the time, so

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Speaker 1: I had to run in. Usually i'd stay and listen

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Speaker 1: to all the speakers and spend the day there, but

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Speaker 1: I was literally in the middle of shooting like recipes.

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Speaker 1: So I ran in, did the gig, ran back to set,

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Speaker 1: and so I never got to me.

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Speaker 2: Unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: How funny is that?

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Speaker 2: Oh? World, Well, I remember that conference really well because

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Speaker 2: it's just a wonderful audience, like, right, nurses, incredible people, caretakers. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I'm talking about empathy. And I was two minutes in, going,

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Speaker 2: hang on, why am I talking to you about empathy?

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Speaker 2: You wrote the book on it, Like, right, you're the

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Speaker 2: most I think the teacher's most empathetic people in the world.

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Speaker 2: So I might just leave this bit out of my

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Speaker 2: my door. You guys could talk to me about empathy.

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Speaker 1: Well. She then said hang on, wait there and brought

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Speaker 1: out all the notes she'd made from that session on you, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and all her like notes that she'd taken.

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Speaker 2: What a small world, right anyway, So.

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Speaker 1: That is how I feel like. I've got to meet

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Speaker 1: you officially today, obviously, but I've had some different getferrings,

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Speaker 1: and your managers are amazing. They've been phenomenal work with.

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Speaker 1: I always have to I always like to say when

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Speaker 1: your team's amazing. So you've got a good gang around you,

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Speaker 1: my friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been very lucky. I've got really great people

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Speaker 2: and I love them. I just love them. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: very lucky.

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Speaker 1: You're already top of your game. You're doing amazing things,

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Speaker 1: and you might not just see it as that, because

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Speaker 1: you're just kind of being true and living on what's

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Speaker 1: real for you, and you're touring and sharing are really

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Speaker 1: what I would say, quite a simple philosophy that is

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Speaker 1: super digestible, definitely, and it's people are really resonating with it,

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Speaker 1: and I just I kind of want to go back

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Speaker 1: to that trip to India that you did. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what year that two thousand and eight.

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Speaker 2: That's why it will begun really right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then how that impacted your what your sister

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Speaker 1: was going through. Can you share a little bit about

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Speaker 1: that totally?

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Speaker 2: And what I might do is I might because I

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Speaker 2: know some people have heard this story. What I might

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Speaker 2: put into this chat just to be in the theme

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Speaker 2: of what we're talking about is is the mistakes I

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Speaker 2: made along the way, and the stuff ups and the

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Speaker 2: insecurities and all that kind of stuff, go for it

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Speaker 2: because I think people get like a very like like

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Speaker 2: a lot of people say to me. I had a

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Speaker 2: message this morning from someone saying I was so inspired

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Speaker 2: by the journey and this, and I'm thinking, I'm not inspirational.

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Speaker 2: I like the amount of times I'll give an example,

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Speaker 2: So in fact, I'll say that example, I'll get to that.

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Speaker 2: So the reason the Resilience Project exists is because of

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Speaker 2: my sister, really, who actually lives in Los Angeles. She's

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Speaker 2: in LA So when my sister was We're a very

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Speaker 2: happy childhood, unbelievable childhood. It was just it was just

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Speaker 2: up until the age of sixteen, I felt like my

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Speaker 2: life was perfect, right, most amazing memories of childhood. When

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Speaker 2: my sister's fourteen years old and I'm sixteen years old,

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Speaker 2: she stopped eating anorexin avis and it really ravaged it.

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Speaker 2: Fast forward a few years, she's in hospital for the

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Speaker 2: first time. She's dropped below crisis weight or she's around

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Speaker 2: thirty kilograms, and.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people don't know it's the death rate

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Speaker 1: of anrexia is super high.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I didn't know that at the time until

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Speaker 2: I got into the hospital the first time. And that's

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Speaker 2: the first time in four years where it really hit me.

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Speaker 2: I used to get quite annoyed at her for annoyds

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Speaker 2: are up there, be very frustrated that, like, just eat food,

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Speaker 2: Mom and dad will be happy. Yeah, your brothers will

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Speaker 2: be happy.

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Speaker 1: You don't realize it's so psychological. You think it's just

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Speaker 1: physical and eating food.

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Speaker 2: Especially especially in the nineties, Like we weren't talking about

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Speaker 2: mental health in the nineties, So as far as I

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Speaker 2: was concerned, like this can't be that serious. When I

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Speaker 2: visited her in the hospital for the first time and

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Speaker 2: I'm sitting there with her and I was looking at

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Speaker 2: the other girls in the in the ward, I remember thinking,

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Speaker 2: I know this is really bad. I remember the doctor

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Speaker 2: toynt to us about the death rate of and it

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Speaker 2: was awful. And I think everyone listening will remember the

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Speaker 2: first time, or a lot of us can remember when

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Speaker 2: we saw our parents cry, like it's just you just

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Speaker 2: remember it. And I remember the sad figure of my

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Speaker 2: dad hunched over the kitchen sink the night we got

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Speaker 2: home from the hospital doing the dishes and he's in tears,

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Speaker 2: and it was like the second time I've sent him cry,

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Speaker 2: and he was Yes, I want to be nineteen, maybe twenty,

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Speaker 2: and I just remember thinking, oh, we're not a happy

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Speaker 2: family anymore. That's gone. And I became fascinated at that age,

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Speaker 2: like what is it that makes people happy? Like I'd

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Speaker 2: love to know what I could do to make mom

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Speaker 2: and dad feel happy. I had no idea. It wasn't

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Speaker 2: another fastward ten years untill I was literally living in

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Speaker 2: the desert in India, sleeping on the floor. When I

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Speaker 2: was just in this community of people that I remember

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Speaker 2: thinking there's no running water, no electricity, no beds. Everyone

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Speaker 2: wore the same clothes every day because's pretty much all.

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Speaker 2: I had just one set of clothes, and I remember

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Speaker 2: just thinking I've never seen joy like it. I never

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Speaker 2: ever seen happiness like it meant to be a two

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Speaker 2: week trip turned into three months, and I just did

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Speaker 2: everything these people did. And that's when I saw these

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Speaker 2: people practicing gratitude, the practiced him practice mindfulness every day.

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Speaker 2: I joined in massive impact on me, and that's kind

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Speaker 2: of where the journey started. But then so much happened

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Speaker 2: to go from like you know there to where it

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Speaker 2: is now, so much like I went back and taught

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Speaker 2: for two years, and I had many times as a

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Speaker 2: teacher thinking feeling quite unhappy, just going I want to

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Speaker 2: do something really big. I don't know what though, and

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Speaker 2: then I started It's a long story, but I obviously

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Speaker 2: it's a ten year story, but I did a couple

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Speaker 2: of combe. People said, why don't you come and talk

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Speaker 2: at our school about your experience in India. The first

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Speaker 2: time I did it, I couldn't believe look on the kids'

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Speaker 2: faces and the laughter, but then the tears, and it

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Speaker 2: was the first time I've ever done it. Just told

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Speaker 2: the stories of what happened, and I thought, gosh, there's

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Speaker 2: something in that. And then I thought, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I want to go and e speak to schools about

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Speaker 2: this stuff. To be great, I start my own business

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Speaker 2: In fact, I never even said I start my own business.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even know how to do that. I just

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Speaker 2: remember thinking, I'm going to talk. My job is going

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Speaker 2: to be to talk at schools. And I didn't even

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Speaker 2: know what I was doing. And in the first year

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Speaker 2: I had like, I think I did four talks for

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Speaker 2: like no one. I went to so many schools and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, sorry, who are you, what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: We'll be right, we're doing our own World Bank stuff.

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Speaker 2: We don't need it. I just got no after no,

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Speaker 2: after no, after no. And the thing that a lot

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Speaker 2: of people don't I've put in this book here, but

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Speaker 2: I didn't put in the first book because I felt

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Speaker 2: not not bad doing it, but I felt like it

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Speaker 2: was just not something I should share. But there were

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Speaker 2: three occasions I tried to In the second year of that,

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Speaker 2: I tried to get out of it. I applied for

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Speaker 2: other jobs because I was just getting nowhere with it,

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Speaker 2: no one to hear me speak. So I actually did

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Speaker 2: try and get out. Everyone's like, oh, You're so amazing

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Speaker 2: for sticking at it, but I didn't. I was like

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Speaker 2: three times and I failed at the three interviews, so

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Speaker 2: I didn't get a job. So I was like, how

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Speaker 2: bad am I can't even do this own I'm good

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Speaker 2: at I thought I was good at public speaking. Turns

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Speaker 2: out I'm not. I'll get a job in education doing

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Speaker 2: something I know I couldn't get jobs there. But then

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Speaker 2: I look back on it and like one of the

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Speaker 2: jobs was with Headspace, the mental health head of school programs.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'd be good at that, and I went,

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Speaker 2: you love this. I went to do the interview and

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Speaker 2: I was going okay, and the lady said, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 2: good a news but it's a fake newspaper article and

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Speaker 2: it's about an issue that's happened in Headspace, and I

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Speaker 2: want you to read it. And when I come back in,

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Speaker 2: i'd like you to tell me how you'd respond to

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Speaker 2: the media if they called about this. And I went,

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Speaker 2: no worries and she walked out of the room. And

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Speaker 2: I remember looking at the first few words and I

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Speaker 2: don't know if you've done this when you're reading before,

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Speaker 2: but I just wasn't paying attention. Yeah, yeah, I remember thinking,

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Speaker 2: I think the interviews going okay. As my eyes are

398
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Speaker 2: going over the words, I'm like, she's just a nice

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Speaker 2: office here. Yeah, I wonder where i'd be if I

400
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Speaker 2: get the job, well, might well I have an office?

401
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Speaker 2: Or am I at a desk? Or what's the I

402
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Speaker 2: do like it here? This is pretty cool. And then

403
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Speaker 2: she just walked in and goes, okay, you're ready, and

404
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,280
Speaker 2: I realized I've been five minutes. I haven't read a

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Speaker 2: word a bit, and then stupidly I tried to talk

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Speaker 2: about an article. Oh no, in the headline it said

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Speaker 2: minister that's all it said, And so I just talked

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Speaker 2: about No. I was like saying, yeah, I think the

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Speaker 2: minister's really key you here, like just yes, what about

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Speaker 2: the minister? Which it's just the key, Like that's the key, really,

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Speaker 2: isn't it. And she goes, yeah, well, what specifically would

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Speaker 2: you say to them? No, no, there's a lot. I

413
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Speaker 2: mean we're talking about mental health, so I don't. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: just it's about getting a minister on board. And she's like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I didn't read it together the job, no, hell not.

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Speaker 2: But then so I did two other trouble job interviews

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Speaker 2: and then I'm like, oh, I better do this resilience

418
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Speaker 2: project thing. It's not working. But so like I did

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Speaker 2: try and get out along the way.

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Speaker 1: Really ah, how interesting though?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, and then even and then even when was

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Speaker 2: it probably about four or five years in its kicking

423
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 2: off and it's going so well, and then all of

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Speaker 2: a sudden, the lead I love sport, and the lead

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00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 2: sported I'm going speaking to football club's NRL class. I

426
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,639
Speaker 2: saw this and then the NRL offered me something pretty

427
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 2: incredible and I was like, oh, I should do that,

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00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 2: Yeah I should. Okay, I'll go and I'll stop in

429
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Speaker 2: a resilience project. I'll do this with the NRL. And

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Speaker 2: it was with the club and then I can remember

431
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,119
Speaker 2: what it didn't happen. So it was like I need

432
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,719
Speaker 2: to go and live in another sea, but I couldn't

433
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,040
Speaker 2: because of something and just but I would have done it,

434
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,400
Speaker 2: and that was in twenty fifteen. But I'm so glad

435
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 2: I didn't because my dream I think I love more

436
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 2: than anything is being on stage talking to people, and

437
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 2: now that's pretty much what I do and I just

438
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 2: love it so much.

439
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 1: So that's so I could just see you talk. I

440
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,159
Speaker 1: feel like I do an m Andy to ask questions.

441
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,119
Speaker 1: You can just see here. And but it's in over

442
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 1: a thousand Australian schools now right.

443
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 2: Well, so we've presented to over. I think it's over

444
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 2: fifteen hundred schools now we've worked with. But what we

445
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,880
Speaker 2: do is we do this partnership program. And I won't

446
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 2: bore your listeners with this, but it's a it's not

447
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,240
Speaker 2: just a presentation now, it's curriculum, it's assessments for students

448
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,120
Speaker 2: along the way, teacher training, parent training. It's an online program.

449
00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 2: It's a digital program, so any school can do it

450
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 2: anywhere around the world and they just log in and

451
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 2: they and it's it's evidence based. So Melbourne University did

452
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:51,199
Speaker 2: evaluation of it. It's working, which is beautiful, and so

453
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 2: we have doing the full partnership program, which is everything

454
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 2: is I think it's I think it's I was tooined

455
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 2: to the school Partnership manager in the front office and

456
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 2: I think it's about eight hundred schools for next year

457
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 2: doing it around Australia and New Zealand.

458
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, and it's now in corporate too as well,

459
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 1: right Like so adults like, yeah, I didn't.

460
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 2: Know that, they know it's pretty cool, cool, amazing. I

461
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,719
Speaker 2: remember had a day a few years ago before the pandemic.

462
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 2: We're in the same day when spoke at A and

463
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:26,719
Speaker 2: Z Mecca at jail and oh and a kindergarten all

464
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:32,399
Speaker 2: the same, uh jail, Mecca's I love the Mecca people.

465
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 2: I love my Mecca people. We I don't know if

466
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 2: I don't know if you had much to do with them.

467
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 1: But it's all Australian from the ground up, isn't it.

468
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

469
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 1: And well I'm a used X makeup, so I get

470
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,920
Speaker 1: all my goodies at Mecca.

471
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just love the girls and the boys there

472
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 2: that there's a lot of girls out there. But we

473
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 2: the first time ever did a talk there. It's still

474
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 2: maybe the most memorable one, maybe the most memorable corporate.

475
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 2: I've never had a more receptive audience. And I told

476
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 2: this story which is in the book, about when I

477
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 2: met Hamish Blake and how I got so nervous I

478
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 2: can play this stuffed it up and we went to

479
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 2: he said you want to do it a high five.

480
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 2: That's a long story. He said you want to do

481
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 2: a high five? And I was like, I'll do a

482
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 2: fist pump. That'll be so cool. And I just punched

483
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,440
Speaker 2: him in the hand and then no, no, sorry, that's

484
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: what happened. I saw him like approaching the high five,

485
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,200
Speaker 2: so I swapped the he shop at the same time.

486
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 2: So he like punched me in the hand and I

487
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,119
Speaker 2: just shook his hand. I got so nervous. So anyway,

488
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,239
Speaker 2: I told him that story. And they had these they

489
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 2: had these little clappers, like these plastic cuppers, and they

490
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 2: were like going berserk with them. And then my foot

491
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 2: got stuck on the stage, but I ripped up tape

492
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,239
Speaker 2: and I couldn't move, So I did the whole thing,

493
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,360
Speaker 2: and I was like, by the way, if you think

494
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,199
Speaker 2: i'm I know, there's a weird I haven't moved. I'm

495
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 2: stuck to the floor. Someone to come and help me

496
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 2: get off to the stage. So it was just one

497
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 2: and then I've worked with them ever since, and I

498
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 2: visited them two or three times a year and spoke

499
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,639
Speaker 2: to the whole staff, and I just love them. But

500
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 2: the jail was one I'll never forget. Some pretty upsetting stuff,

501
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,120
Speaker 2: but it was still you know, I remember walking out

502
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 2: of there and going, well, I've engaged them for sixty minutes.

503
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 2: If I can do that, I can. I can work

504
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 2: with anyone. I can get anyone. But it was hard.

505
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 2: That was a tough cell.

506
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, people there there's probably in different stages or

507
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 1: a different kind of like experience of life versus the

508
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: Mecca staff that are totally heavy and you know, like

509
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 1: there's a really you know, there'd be a lot of

510
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 1: other variables. Imagine.

511
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 2: Well, I think all I ever do is tell stories, right,

512
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 2: that's all a story.

513
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 1: But you're almost comedic sometimes, do you know? Do do

514
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 1: you ever get that feedback?

515
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 2: Yeah? I had something, someone said something something to the

516
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,479
Speaker 2: other day that made me. I think it really shocked him,

517
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 2: but I started crying. It was I was in Hobart.

518
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 2: It's the last talk I did before the lockdowns. And

519
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,679
Speaker 2: just for just for context, when we're growing up, as

520
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 2: kids were obsessed with Billy Connolly, Mum and dad would

521
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 2: watch Billy Collin.

522
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, really, yeah, just.

523
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:49,120
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, just and when my sister was really sick,

524
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,640
Speaker 2: we'd watch them. And I remember I would watch because

525
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,439
Speaker 2: we've watched them ae hundred times before. I'd watch him,

526
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 2: but I'd also watch Mum and Dad because I've been crying,

527
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 2: like in sadness half an hour before and all of

528
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:04,679
Speaker 2: Suddy crying from laugh time, and I'd watched going, that's unbelievable.

529
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: I want to I want to do that, Like that's

530
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 2: what I want to do, and deep down I was like,

531
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 2: I'd love to be a stand up comedian. Probably that's

532
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,439
Speaker 2: too scary. And now I'm sort of, oh.

533
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: You've totally got it in your bones.

534
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 2: Well, I kind of lives the thing. After the Hobart

535
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 2: show I did, I was meeting people in the four

536
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: and afterwards, and this guy came up to me, and

537
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 2: he would have been in his fifties, and he said, Oh,

538
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 2: this will mean nothing to you. Bon't even know how

539
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 2: I'm talking about you a bit young, but I want

540
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 2: you to know it's not really special. I felt like

541
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: I was watching a young Billy Conde went tonight and

542
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,679
Speaker 2: I just yeah, I had tears just straight. And he

543
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,400
Speaker 2: looked very confused. He's like and I said, no, I said,

544
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 2: that's a long story. That means a lot to me.

545
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 2: Thank you. He's kind of my hero. And my managers

546
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 2: at me to write him a letter at the moment

547
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 2: because I just want to let him know that. I mean,

548
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 2: he's what I always wanted to be, you know, And I, Oh.

549
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: My god, this is I feel like we're brainstorming your

550
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: next career movie. Here. I'm laughing that I just had

551
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 1: Who's a stable made of yours? With your management team

552
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: Ursla Carson on their part, unbelievable, what an epic human being.

553
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: But didn't plan on being a stand up.

554
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 2: Comic, so I didn't. I don't know her story. I

555
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 2: just know that she's hilarious.

556
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: It came out this morning on my pod. I'm gonna

557
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: send it to you. It blew me. But coming from

558
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: a very adverse like was held at somepoint with those

559
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,120
Speaker 1: like what are they called AK forty seven's in South Africa,

560
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: I'd heard.

561
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 2: That my Yeah, we share a roady and I don't

562
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: know if you call him already, but he's told me

563
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 2: that story. Intense.

564
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, but she's the funniest, driest and you've got the

565
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: dry Aussie humor, and then you've got your pod, which

566
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: is I was just laughing so hard listening to your podcast, obviously,

567
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: and I wasn't eating to talk about this, but I

568
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: love the way that you talked about like fanboying over

569
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 1: Ryan Shelton before you guys became friends, and you were like, oh,

570
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 1: Larry is there, and then one day just decided to

571
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 1: sit too close to him at a cafe. Is that right?

572
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 2: I was? I couldn't have sat closer without touching you

573
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 2: he was like, because I'd see him all the.

574
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 1: Time, it's so funny. I would be nervous if I

575
00:24:58,440 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 1: met him, for sure.

576
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 2: This that's the thing, Like, I have very funny friends.

577
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: I've always thought very funny, and people might say to me, oh, yes,

578
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 2: you're very funny, and his stories are so funny. When

579
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 2: you meet someone like Ryan Shelton, it's a whole new

580
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 2: level of like, that's quick wit, that's like unbelievable. You

581
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 2: hear people like Cambridge Blake on his on Amershondy and Yeah,

582
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: and just talking to Ryan, my brother and I when

583
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 2: we catch up, we're in stitches the whole time because

584
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 2: he's never not even his text messages like I can't.

585
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 2: There's something about like if I send him just a

586
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 2: normal text message, something absolutely hilarious will come back and

587
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 2: it's just without fail. So, yeah, it's funny. I now,

588
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,120
Speaker 2: knowing those people, I think, No, I'm not a stand

589
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 2: up comedian, they're comedians. I I'm very comfortable in this space. Well,

590
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 2: I'm actually doing now, I'm doing the it's funny. I

591
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 2: did Will Anderson's podcast.

592
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 1: Oh that's a great part.

593
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 2: And he actually just in to be very topical. This

594
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 2: he said to me, what what would you do if

595
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 2: you couldn't fail? And I said, without him thinking, I

596
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 2: just blew it out. I said, I'll do a show

597
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 2: at the Comedy Festival. And I said it in like

598
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 2: cover in my mouth. I was like, oh my god,

599
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 2: I said it to Will Anderson, I'm a freaking idiot.

600
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 2: He's to say, you're not funny mate it, but he said,

601
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 2: you must do it.

602
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: You know you have to. That's what I want to say.

603
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 2: Beut, I'm doing it now. We've got to show one

604
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 2: night at Hama Hall in my April next year. Yeah,

605
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 2: it's happening, like my managers like, we're doing it.

606
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 1: So, oh, You've got the perfect managers for this too.

607
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 1: You're all set, You're ready to I cannot wait. Like

608
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 1: I'm pumped for your book, your next book, but I

609
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: am even more parvac to stand up I do.

610
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 2: I do love my books and I love my writing team,

611
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: but I feel like I'm better at talking than writing.

612
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,960
Speaker 1: You're so what I love about the way you speak

613
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 1: and what took me when my bro sent that video

614
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 1: of you was I was like, I just felt like

615
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 1: and I mean this in the best way. And his

616
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: term is used derogatory. But I was like, oh, he's

617
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 1: a normy. He's just a normal vie.

618
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,640
Speaker 2: I'm so average.

619
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: No, but I was like I was able to relate

620
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 1: to you straight away. I wasn't holding you on a pedestal.

621
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,880
Speaker 1: And again I should because you've sold over two hundred

622
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: thousand books. I've written eleven books and I've sold one

623
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,719
Speaker 1: hundred and eighty thousand all together over ten years.

624
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 2: No, but that's like, well, that makes you feel silly

625
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: because your stuff is phenomenal.

626
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 1: But my point is that's insanely incredible what you've achieved.

627
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,360
Speaker 1: Like you're amazing.

628
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 2: I was writing eleven books, Like, that's insane.

629
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: But I thought I'd never write a book. I thought

630
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 1: I was never smart enough. This part isn't about me, though,

631
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: this part.

632
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 2: Is about but I'm very interested in you.

633
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: So this is like, Okay, what I want to talk

634
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 1: about is I've so like I mentioned before he started recording,

635
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 1: I've kind of taken all these little notes from my

636
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 1: mum's notes that she took her nurse's conference to like

637
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 1: things I've heard you talk about in little short TV

638
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: segments because there's so much amazing content out there of you,

639
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: and I've just I think with coming out of COVID

640
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: and coming into like the new normal and whatnot. And

641
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 1: even I noticed, like in America, as much as I

642
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 1: love America, I was falling asleep listening to sirens and

643
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, is that a gun short or

644
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,439
Speaker 1: is that fireworks? Like you're in a different climate, And

645
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: I was noticing that I was holding someone stress and

646
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,360
Speaker 1: tension and probably my version of anxiety. And I think

647
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 1: that we're all realizing that to say level like COVID

648
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: maybe with there being the trigger, but we do get anxiety.

649
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: It's a coping mechanism or it's a way that our

650
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: body and our minds manifest when there's stresses in our lives.

651
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 1: And I've heard you talk about worry, panic, anxiety and

652
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 1: link it to when we're stuck either thinking about future

653
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 1: stuff or past stuff. Yeah, and you've got I've written

654
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: the percentages like is it forty nine percent in the

655
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: future thirty percent in the past? Is that?

656
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 2: That's what I've been saying for four years? And then

657
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: I heard another statistic which by a different researcher, which

658
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 2: was not was pretty similar. Yeah, who wasn't forgotten his name.

659
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 2: He said, we spend forty nine percent of our day

660
00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 2: thinking about the future or the past, and fifty percent

661
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 2: of our day thinking about the present moment. And then

662
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 2: I've heard someone else say something which is like fifteen

663
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 2: percent is the present moment, the rest is future. So

664
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 2: either way, let's still lay best case scenario for us

665
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 2: as human beings. We spend half our day thinking about

666
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 2: the future or the present. And there's nothing wrong with

667
00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 2: thinking what are we to do with my life in

668
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: the future or what did I do wrong that I

669
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 2: could learn from? That's fine. I don't think half the

670
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 2: days help.

671
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: No, It's like you'll overthink a conversation like why didn't

672
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: I say that thing to that person? And they'll be like, oh,

673
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: I'll get in my head on the hamps feel and

674
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: I'll be like, I should have said that thing to

675
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 1: that person. Now they're going to think I'm a dickhead.

676
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god, And don't really.

677
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: Just tell ourselves the most ridiculous stories about interactions with people.

678
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: And sometimes I'll like correct myself and go back like

679
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to ask you that thing, and they'll

680
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: be like, what are you talking about? It's fully in

681
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 1: your only in your own reality that it exists. It

682
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: doesn't exist in the real world. So I am definitely

683
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: one of those people that get stuck on they're like, oh,

684
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: what if this doesn't go right, or what if this

685
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: is right? Or oh I should have done that differently.

686
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 1: Hives fucked off that person, And I think also, like

687
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is a female thing, but

688
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: like the people pleasing like want not wanting to upset

689
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: people is like a definitely I feel that.

690
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 2: I feel that, Yeah, your.

691
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: Choices kind of go through these filters. But what is

692
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 1: your advice for becoming more present? Is it the gem stuff?

693
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 1: Is it?

694
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean the best way I think and a

695
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 2: lot of people would agree is to be present is mindfulness.

696
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 2: But I think the issue with that is there's like

697
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 2: a as soon as you say the word mindfulness, there's

698
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 2: a barrier that goes up with a lot of people,

699
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 2: including myself for a long time of like, yeah, I'm

700
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 2: not doing meditation, mate, Like I'm not doing that, so

701
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do that. And also then there's

702
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 2: another barrier that pops up when you try it for

703
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 2: the first time, and it's so hard to just think

704
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 2: about nothing, so you go, I'm shit at it. I'm

705
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 2: not going to do something I'm shit at and you

706
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: hate it and it's just annoying. I think what I've

707
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 2: learned recently that we are Jeff Warren on our podcast,

708
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 2: so you must chat to it at some point. He's

709
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 2: from Calm Ca'm yeah, Canadian guy who contributes to that

710
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 2: and an amazing guy like you'd love him. He's just terrific.

711
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 2: He said. Mindfulness isn't being president all the time. It's

712
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 2: just coming back. It's like it's just coming back to being.

713
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 2: So it's so if you're trying to do meditation, for example,

714
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 2: and then you go, oh, I think about what I'm

715
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: having for dinner tonight, Just think about my breathing that

716
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 2: point there, that's being mindful. So you could your mind

717
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 2: wonder a hundred times in thirty minutes, but every time

718
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: you notice it and bring it back, you're being mindful.

719
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 2: So we're all good at it, then we can all

720
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: do it. And the more times you practice that, the

721
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: better you become at it. But the other thing that

722
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: I love so much, he says, mindfulness is four key components.

723
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: Because I've been criticized a fair bit for what I

724
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 2: say mindfulness is because myndfulness experts are very attached to

725
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 2: their idea of what it is, and that's fine.

726
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: There's lots of schools of thoughts totally.

727
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 2: You know, my father in law just got back yesterday

728
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 2: from a ten day he does for PASNA, which is

729
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: ten Have you done it before?

730
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: I know exact I'm a yoga teacher. I know exactly

731
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. But you've never done for a

732
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,719
Speaker 1: passion I've done as part of teacher trainings. They'll make

733
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: you do like twenty four hours silent, which is so

734
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: much harder than you'd think. Twenty four hours.

735
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: I feel like you and I would probably struggle with that.

736
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: Twenty four hours. I cheated, I will lie. I was

737
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: like that person laughing uncontrollably down the corridors and getting

738
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: the layers at other people. It's like, I'm totally getting

739
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: in trouble.

740
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah. So my father in law just did

741
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 2: ten days ten days silent retreat. So for him, that's

742
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: how he practices mindfulness really intense. But when I talk

743
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: about it, some people go, that's not mindfulness, mate, that's

744
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: actually this, or no, you're actually wrong, that's not what

745
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: isn't I ran that by Jefflauren and he said here's what.

746
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 2: Here are the components of being mindful. It's clarity of thought,

747
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 2: ability to concentrate, equanimity, which I just I didn't know.

748
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 2: I didn't know what it was when he said it,

749
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 2: but I went, yeah, but I didn't know what he meant.

750
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 2: But it's this, it's the ability I'm pointing the book

751
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 2: for people who can't see, which is everyone. The ability

752
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 2: to let go, Like it's when you let something go?

753
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 1: Is it? When I at yogues, we always got taught.

754
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: It was also being okay with the like peaks and

755
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: trough Yes.

756
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally where you'd like, you don't let it, you go,

757
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 2: this is happening to me right now, and that's cool. Yeah,

758
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 2: and then you consider let it go, it's hit. The

759
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 2: word he used, which was beautiful, was frictionless. You move

760
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 2: through life being frictionless, you know, like and he said,

761
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 2: and I was imagining when he said it. I was like, oh, yes, So,

762
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 2: like someone says something that hurts me, I just go,

763
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 2: I'll let that go. I was like, that's cool. But

764
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,719
Speaker 2: then he explained that there's more versions of it, like

765
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 2: if you're having a discussion with someone and in your

766
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 2: head you're like, I just want to say this thing

767
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 2: to them, but I just can't because it might upset

768
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 2: them a bit. And you don't. He said, that's not

769
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 2: It's good for them, but that's not good for you.

770
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 2: He said, let it go. You just say the thing

771
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 2: you need to say. You just say it. Friction. It does,

772
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 2: it totally does. So that's the equanimity. So clarity of thought, concentrate.

773
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 2: Anything that helps you with clarity of thought, concentration, equanimity.

774
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 2: And the last one was care, like care for people

775
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 2: in the world around you, which I love as well.

776
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 2: So anything you're doing the contribute to that. You can

777
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 2: say that you are building your skills for mindfulness.

778
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: I love it.

779
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I said to him, but people would say

780
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 2: to me, that's not mindfulnus And he goes, okay, call

781
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 2: it doctor Pepper. Then I don't give a fuck what

782
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 2: you call it. Like, so you love him. He's so cool.

783
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 2: So practicing mindfulness is the best way to do all

784
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 2: that stuff, to delimit it. But this is the way

785
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 2: I do it is so I do athletics, So I

786
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 2: run four hundred meters and I and I'm obsessed with it.

787
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 2: And it's like sprint training and the training takes me

788
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 2: an hour, and I do it four or five times

789
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 2: a week, and when I'm doing it, nothing comes into

790
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 2: my head except like nothing, Like if someone stopped me, yes,

791
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 2: I'm a genuine flow state. And to me, that's the

792
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 2: absolute epitome of minedfulness. Like if someone stopped me during

793
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,439
Speaker 2: it and said, what are you thinking about? I'd go, oh,

794
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 2: I'm actually not thinking.

795
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: This is just happening.

796
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 2: Well, how long you been doing this for? I don't know,

797
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 2: ten minutes. I should have spent fifty five minutes already.

798
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 2: That's yeah. So that to mean some people go, no,

799
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 2: that's not meditation, But I feel like for me, it

800
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 2: gives me incredible clarity of thought because when you're in

801
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 2: flow state, the other thing that happens. And I've round

802
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 2: about this, I've wroten, I've written a bit, I've written

803
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 2: a book. There's a bit right I talk about flow,

804
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 2: And the best thing I think is that, well, it's

805
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,720
Speaker 2: two the really cool things happen. It's the only time

806
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 2: when all four feel good hormones are released at the

807
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: same time when you're in flow. I know it's the

808
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 2: only time. And the other thing that's really cool about

809
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 2: flow is that the the pre funded cortex, so there's

810
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 2: no judgmental thinking. You have no judgment, so you don't

811
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 2: judge yourself. That's the corest thing. Yeah, we don't have

812
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 2: any negative self talk whatsoever. We're just full of We're

813
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 2: just and for me and I also do. I also

814
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: experiment with like mindfulness apps and I try them and

815
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 2: they're good, Like I like them. I mean, we've got

816
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 2: our own, so I'm not dissing them obviously, but for me,

817
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 2: being in flow is everything.

818
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: Oh, I totally agree. And I always say to people

819
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: when they're like, I don't know what my passion is,

820
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 1: I'm like, find when time stops, and if that thing

821
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: feels good, get more of that in your life because

822
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 1: you will feel clearer, even if that's not the thing

823
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 1: that you're going to do all the time. Totally in la.

824
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 1: I've just turned thirty six and I've just gone into

825
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: full time acting study.

826
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

827
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: And my dream is to be Steve Colbert, Like I

828
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: want to be a late night talk so that's dream.

829
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: But I also really want to act. But like Sitcom's

830
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: funny stuff like Rosiodonald style, And in Australia a lot

831
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 1: of people are like, well, no, you're too old, and

832
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 1: in America everyone's like, go for it, like just run

833
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: at it. And it's the one time when I'm on

834
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 1: stage I can be really petrified if I'm putting a

835
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: scene up or something, and you've got to be full

836
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:15,720
Speaker 1: American dialect, you can't be Australian, and I'll feel scared,

837
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 1: but I'll feel so clear and it's that flow thing,

838
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 1: and I don't I never know how long my scene

839
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 1: is because time completely is gone. And it's that I

840
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: think it's the best compass for like your little check in.

841
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: And when you talk about my moment I was, I

842
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 1: would say that I'd be like, whend is when do

843
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: you find that?

844
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 2: It's an incredible example.

845
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: An incredible example you with your running would be the

846
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: exactly well and on stage, I imagine.

847
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's I get that, not every single show I do,

848
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 2: but when I do get it, it is the most

849
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 2: intensely out of body experience. It's and I think I

850
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 2: wrote I did write in the book. We thought about

851
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 2: taking out because we thought it made me look a

852
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 2: little bit weird. But this is honestly what happens. Obviously,

853
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 2: what happens to me when it happens on stage. I feel.

854
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: I've explained to my and she said that is weird

855
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,399
Speaker 2: but pretty cool. That's when I asked Penny, my wife,

856
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,479
Speaker 2: She's like my gauge of what I should like, what's

857
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 2: good or not? And I said, should I put this

858
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,280
Speaker 2: in the book? And I said, this is what happens.

859
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: I feel like I sort of float backwards out of

860
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 2: my body and I sort of and I just walk

861
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 2: off the side of stage where I came on, and

862
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,919
Speaker 2: I watched myself. I'm not joking, No, that's what I feel.

863
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 2: I know, I sound like a real weirdo was saying that.

864
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: No, that's all.

865
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 2: I didn't quite get it in Newcastle on the web,

866
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 2: but the last time I got it was the last

867
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 2: Melbourne show I did, which was in May, and I'm

868
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 2: two minutes in. It just felt so good and I

869
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 2: literally was like, okay, I can leave me to this.

870
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 2: And I watched it. It was bizarre.

871
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 1: There's a word in Yoga Sanskrit called shuck sin, and

872
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 1: it means to be witness and it means you can

873
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: stand in any situation, whether it be fire, whether it

874
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: be flow, whether it be anything, but you are witnessing

875
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 1: it as opposed to reacting to anything. So it's more

876
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: about like scariest like for I know that for you,

877
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 1: public speaking feels quite normal naturally, but for a lot

878
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 1: of people, even a lot of sound up comedians, there's

879
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 1: a lot of fear, a lot of stage fright, there's

880
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety. There's a lot of other things

881
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: that can come along because the brain, you would know

882
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 1: that the brain sometimes thinks of excitement is anxiety and

883
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 1: it kind of goes, you know, I'm gonna swear, I'm

884
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: going to freak out right, but yeah, shock sheen is

885
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 1: mean is the ability to stand witness and just bear

886
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:18,839
Speaker 1: witness and just kind of let things on.

887
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 2: I did not know that, but that is really cool, guys,

888
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:22,439
Speaker 2: really good.

889
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, tell your father in law be like, hey, yeah,

890
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 1: I know you've just done for Passiona, but.

891
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 2: Sho, it's a I think basketball is called like unconscious,

892
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 2: being unconscious when they're in the zones, like and sports

893
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 2: polls saying the zone. Yeah, jazz musicians called in the pocket.

894
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 2: I was in the pocket. So there's like a lot

895
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 2: of sayings for because it is a common experience and

896
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: I'm just lucky I get to get in that into

897
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 2: that world every now and again. But for people are thinking,

898
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 2: I still don't know what mine is. It's an activity

899
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 2: that you are good like that you find it's it's

900
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,800
Speaker 2: something you really skillful at that other people find difficult.

901
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 2: But it's also quite a challenge. It's a really challenging

902
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: task for most people. For you, it seems to be

903
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 2: a bit easier. It's often the thing we're naturally quite

904
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 2: good at that we do a lot as kids. We

905
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 2: do a lot of it as kids, like yeah, you know,

906
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 2: I'd run all the time as a kid, loved it,

907
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 2: and then we stopped when I got to my twenties

908
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 2: or whatever, thinking well, you don't that's yeah exactly.

909
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So in my mum's notes, so this will

910
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 1: take you right back.

911
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 2: What's your name?

912
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 1: Wendy, Wendy Avery. She's a legend. She's really cool. She

913
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,800
Speaker 1: was a psych nurse for many years.

914
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:29,280
Speaker 2: Stories.

915
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 1: Oh, phenomenal.

916
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 2: You need to have a family like family podcast I have.

917
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: I've done my dad. Yeah, and only just in viewed

918
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: mum and I was She's like, well, who else is

919
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: it you interviewing on this trip? And I was like wow,

920
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 1: And this is where she was like, stay here, I'm

921
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 1: going to bring all my notes out. But it was

922
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: really cool because I hadn't heard this recently, so sorry

923
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 1: if I'm about three. In her notes, she talked about

924
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: controlling emotions and she said music takes seven seconds, exercise

925
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: takes thirty, and laughter is instant.

926
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's a It was two thousand and thirteen

927
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 2: and I was watching a Ted talk and I'm so disappointed, souse.

928
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: I can't remember who said it or where they got

929
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 2: the information from because I didn't put it in my

930
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 2: first book because I couldn't find the reference for it.

931
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 2: I want to say something without it. Yeah, of course,

932
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 2: but I used to say that a lot, and I've

933
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 2: stopedicus I can't find the reference. But you know, like

934
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 2: the like they're the three things that have the power

935
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:28,240
Speaker 2: to shift your emotions so quick and I and whether

936
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 2: the time is exactly spot or not, but you know,

937
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 2: the feeling of like you're not in a good mood,

938
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 2: you're feeling stressed about something. You get in the car

939
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 2: running late to something, and a song comes on you

940
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 2: like or that.

941
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,359
Speaker 1: You love, and all of a sudden changes everything changes

942
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 1: everything great, but even brainways like on a much more

943
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: scientific level, music is like I don't know about you,

944
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: but did you listen to certain music when you write.

945
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, I listened to classical music.

946
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: Same really kidding yeaheah. I was in a like Han

947
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: Zimmer movie scores Wow one hundred er says the only

948
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: way to write because you're in delta, you're in a

949
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 1: different brain. I could talk about music all. I used

950
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,839
Speaker 1: to be DJ. So I when I saw this note,

951
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to just what haven't you done?

952
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: I know I'm all about just chasing the feeling in

953
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 1: your heart. You've got to run at that thing. But

954
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: I love it because in my acting training, we always

955
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,280
Speaker 1: get taught not to rely, so in there's two schools

956
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: of thought with acting. I adn't think i'd be talking

957
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: about this, but I think you'll find interesting. So a

958
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 1: lot of the American way is to rely on what

959
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,760
Speaker 1: they call trauma work. So you dig up past stuff,

960
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 1: and you're digging up past feelings of uncomfortable pain that

961
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 1: you've probably been through the past, which I'm super anti

962
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: being someone that's come out of five years of therapy.

963
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, this feels super unsustainable and very unsafe. And

964
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 1: then I found this teacher that I loved, and he said,

965
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 1: your emotions are like an unruly teenager, like a teenager

966
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 1: that you can't always control, right, So if you're always

967
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: calling on this negative experience to come up and make

968
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 1: you cry on skew every time, they've got a live

969
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: of their like a mind of their own. And so

970
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,879
Speaker 1: when I saw these three things and how they can

971
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,839
Speaker 1: impact your emotions, I now, if I've got a really

972
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: a scene that I've got to get into a mood for,

973
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: I'll listen to music. I won't do it through dredging

974
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,839
Speaker 1: up some shitty thing happened when I was thirteen. I'm

975
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: going to do it by like affecting my emotions through music.

976
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 1: Or i've got a really amped up scene, I'll like

977
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: sprint on the spot and I'll give me energy and

978
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 1: it won't cost me, like won't be a psychological cost.

979
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 2: Gosh, we're very similar people.

980
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,320
Speaker 1: How interesting?

981
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 2: So I before my show, I have a playlist that

982
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 2: I listened to and a playlist that the audience listens to.

983
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 1: They're the same, no different, different.

984
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 2: But the music builds into like anyway. There's a song

985
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 2: that I just love called All We Do by I Wonder,

986
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 2: Oh my God, I.

987
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 1: Know, I wander up beautiful And there's.

988
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: A video clip that goes with it, and it's about people.

989
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 2: It's about they're a famous I don't know if they're famous,

990
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 2: but their movie directors, I think, talking about what they

991
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 2: think the purpose of life is. And there's little snippets

992
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 2: of them. You got to look it up. And I

993
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 2: play that before. That's how my show starts, and I

994
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 2: sit start a side of stage and I watch it

995
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,359
Speaker 2: every single time. Gives me tears every time. So it's

996
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 2: just so and it's just because I think it gets

997
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 2: the audience into a very It makes me feel vulnerable,

998
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 2: it makes me feel like love and just like how

999
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 2: special is to be alive and to be human. And

1000
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 2: I want people to feel that. So I have that

1001
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 2: song going and it's like we all experience that song

1002
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 2: before I start speaking.

1003
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 1: I love that.

1004
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's a and then yeah and then I

1005
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 2: also there is the other thing I do backstage, which

1006
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 2: is weird. I've never admitted this, so I hope people

1007
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 2: are going to be at my shows now. Is he

1008
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 2: doing this now? But I do the same warm up

1009
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 2: that I do for my.

1010
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 1: Sprinting, of course, but it makes sense.

1011
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 2: I just feel like when I do it before, I

1012
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,399
Speaker 2: can't do a whole lap of a venue and I've

1013
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 2: just got a smallest room or a corridor to work with.

1014
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,320
Speaker 2: But I do the same exercise as the A skips,

1015
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 2: the be skips ankling, and then some strides and a

1016
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 2: bit of like sort of dynamic stretching, because it just

1017
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 2: when I and I listened to the same music listen

1018
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 2: to do before I race, like every Saturday race the

1019
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 2: two or four hundred, and there's a half an hour

1020
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 2: preparation that goes into it. And I'm in this state

1021
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 2: of like so alert and so ready. And one day

1022
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 2: I was cold at Geelong doing I was about the change.

1023
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 2: I was freezing cold, and I was like, I'll just

1024
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: do a warm up, just sucking warm up. Yeah, and

1025
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 2: I just it's one of the best I've ever done.

1026
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 2: And I went, oh my god, I need to do

1027
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 2: a physical warm up to do this mental talk.

1028
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: But my acting, my voice coach, my dialect coach would say,

1029
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,959
Speaker 1: you cannot public speak without doing a like a body

1030
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: warm up.

1031
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 2: Wow, it's the instrument.

1032
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 1: Your voice is your instrument.

1033
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: And yeah, that's amazing.

1034
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,359
Speaker 1: So you're already intuitively doing the right thing.

1035
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,879
Speaker 2: See this is why I love podcasts. You learn a lot,

1036
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 2: Like I've learned so much from you, Like I've learned.

1037
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 2: I felt instinctively like it was a good thing to do,

1038
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 2: but your coach is like confirmed it.

1039
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 1: No, I've been wanting to get you on this pod

1040
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: for so so long. I quickly want to talk to you.

1041
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: I could talk to you all day long. But I

1042
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,319
Speaker 1: really want to talk about vulnerability because I love the

1043
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 1: way obviously you've got that awesome like the Vulnerability t.

1044
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 2: Tea House, Vulnerability Tea House.

1045
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I just I want to get like the

1046
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:15,240
Speaker 1: Chimy music as well, and Ryan's voices like really calm

1047
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: and like said, I'll put a link to it in

1048
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:23,399
Speaker 1: the show notes so people can enjoy. But I've heard

1049
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: you talk about the power of vulnerability, and I know

1050
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 1: it's not a new concept, like we've heard the brain

1051
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,719
Speaker 1: brown stuff as well, but you talk about it being

1052
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: so important for connection and for strength.

1053
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's a fascinating thing. So vulnerability is

1054
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 2: that it's vulnerability is emotional risk. That's how we're talking about.

1055
00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 2: That's when you're taking an emotional risk, and it's it

1056
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 2: could be all types of things, you know, It's it's

1057
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 2: asking for feedback from your boss, it could be doing

1058
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 2: a relationship, checking with your partner, how are you going,

1059
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: how are you feeling. It could be a friend of

1060
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 2: mine who's forty, so she's forty one, single going through

1061
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 2: IVF for the third year in a row, unsuccessful and

1062
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 2: trying again. You know, that's vulnerability and emotional risk when

1063
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 2: it may not go well, for it could really hurt.

1064
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 2: But so often that vulnerability leads to something really beautiful,

1065
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 2: like an incredible connection. And I think it's really important

1066
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,359
Speaker 2: to say because we talk about it all the time,

1067
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 2: and we only did one episode where we talked about

1068
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 2: some of the key rules of vulnerability. And one of

1069
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 2: the things is that when I go to football clubs,

1070
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 2: we not all the time. If I think it's a

1071
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 2: safe space, we'll do a session where I get the

1072
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 2: players to share a story from their life. I did

1073
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 2: it with the Port Adelaide guys, and I'm one of

1074
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 2: the most amazing things I've ever been a part of.

1075
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 2: It was stunning, like it was just beautiful. But it

1076
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 2: doesn't always There's no such thing as force vulnerability, So

1077
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 2: you can't say to someone you have to get up

1078
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 2: and share your story. Like vulnerability isn't always good for

1079
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 2: people all the time. You know, there could be someone

1080
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 2: who's processing something extremely traumatic and just even talking about

1081
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 2: it will be very triggering. And so it's got to

1082
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 2: be a place where you feel very safe and you've

1083
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 2: got to feel like it's it's vulnerable but not dangerous.

1084
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 2: And I guess that if you think, no, this feels

1085
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,720
Speaker 2: dangerous or or I don't trust the people I'm sharing

1086
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 2: this with, because I told a group was a corporate group,

1087
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 2: the story about port Alaide Football club, how he shared

1088
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 2: stories now connecting it was and he went, I'm going

1089
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 2: to do it my team and he got he just

1090
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 2: said to his team he doesn't have a good relationship

1091
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 2: with him, and he said, right, we're all sharing something

1092
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 2: difficult from our past, and it was he'sparently. Someone got

1093
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:29,800
Speaker 2: in touch and said, I just it was so bad

1094
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:31,800
Speaker 2: and I'm really upset about it. And I was like, oh,

1095
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 2: every time I talk about vulnerability, I need to say

1096
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 2: it can't be forced, it's a choice, and yeah, that

1097
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. So that's why I just bring that

1098
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 2: up now. But yeah, it's a The.

1099
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 1: Port Adelaide story is beautiful though, like story even Yeah.

1100
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 2: So I mean that's the third chapter in the book.

1101
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, chapter three in the book is that

1102
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 2: I was doing a session with the port. I've been

1103
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 2: working with him for three years, so I knew him

1104
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 2: extremely well. Beautiful group of young man, humble, so kind,

1105
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 2: all the things you would hope that they would be,

1106
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 2: they are, and I just felt like I knew so

1107
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 2: quite a lot of them talk to me about stuff

1108
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 2: they're going through, but they wouldn't talk to each other

1109
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 2: about it. And I knew that they could trust each other,

1110
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 2: but they felt like, you know, I think typically with

1111
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 2: in Australia a lot it's like leave your shit at

1112
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 2: the door, don't bring other people down with your stuff,

1113
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 2: and just get on with it. Just tough on up

1114
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,479
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff, and a lot of them raised

1115
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,560
Speaker 2: that way, so they didn't want to share with their teammates.

1116
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: But I just felt like there was an opportunity to

1117
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 2: maybe open up it more and I said to them

1118
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 2: one preseason camp, I'm going to share some stories. So

1119
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 2: so yeah, that's basically the format. Will we night too,

1120
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 2: I'll be there and I'll facilitate it. When I got

1121
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,280
Speaker 2: when it got to that point, I was so burnt

1122
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 2: out from there. It was the end of the year

1123
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 2: twenty nineteen and I actually didn't want to be there.

1124
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,359
Speaker 2: I was homesick. It had been such a big year.

1125
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 2: The first book could just come out and done. I

1126
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 2: think it was four hundred and eighty six talks for

1127
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 2: the year Wow. And I was just done. And on

1128
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 2: the way I was driving in the middle. I was

1129
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 2: driving in a high car along the freeway, specific car

1130
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 2: rap in Queensland, and I was like, oh my gosh,

1131
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 2: I can't do this. I actually I don't have any

1132
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 2: I'm too burnt out. And so I was going to

1133
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 2: write a message saying my flight span cancel. I was

1134
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 2: actually going to lie and so my flight span canceled.

1135
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 2: And as I was about to pull over and write

1136
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,760
Speaker 2: a message, the minibus drop parts of all players waving

1137
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 2: at me, and I was like, oh fuck, it is me.

1138
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 2: And so I turned on and this is where this

1139
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 2: is where the book comes from. I turned on the

1140
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 2: radio like I think it needs some music, and my

1141
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,719
Speaker 2: favorite song of my early twenties came on. It's a

1142
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 2: song called let go By Through Through or for Our Fur.

1143
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,760
Speaker 2: I've never known how to pronounce it, and the lyrics,

1144
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 2: which I couldn't write the book for copyright reasons, just

1145
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:43,759
Speaker 2: so devastating. The lyrics are let go, let go, just

1146
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 2: jump in, there's beauty in the breakdown, and I just

1147
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 2: had this shiver come over me. I was like, like,

1148
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 2: I'm about to ask these guys to do something to vulnerable,

1149
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 2: like just so I got there and I started the session,

1150
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 2: was saying, hey, just a heads up. I'm so burnt

1151
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 2: out and I got no energy and I I would

1152
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 2: just wish I was at home with my family. I

1153
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 2: missed him so much, been away from home for a

1154
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 2: week at that time. But I love you guys so

1155
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 2: much and I'm not going to miss out on today.

1156
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:09,879
Speaker 2: And I usually do this big. I usually try about

1157
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 2: the first time and it's so entertaining and so funny

1158
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 2: and warm everyone up and a few games and I

1159
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,760
Speaker 2: just said who wants to go first? And a nineteen

1160
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:20,320
Speaker 2: year old kid got up, Zach Butter's everyone who follows

1161
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 2: footy w on know Zack incredible player. He got up

1162
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 2: and just said he told us the story about when

1163
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 2: his sister went missing with an addiction she's got and

1164
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 2: two weeks I think she had gone missing for and

1165
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:31,800
Speaker 2: he hadn't told him at the club, no one knew,

1166
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:34,879
Speaker 2: and he's in tears telling everyone and he sat down

1167
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 2: the end of the ten minutes of telling us what

1168
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 2: had happened, and he was just like the collective group

1169
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 2: just wrapped their arms around him, and it was just

1170
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 2: like every single person hugged him in the room. Everyone

1171
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 2: gave him a hug and then it just from then on.

1172
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 2: And I do have permission to share that story just

1173
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 2: so people know, I'm not sharing his story out of

1174
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 2: and I haven't asked for mission for the other players.

1175
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 2: So and it wasn't every player like, it wasn't like

1176
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,960
Speaker 2: we said, it wasn't forced, but we had a lot

1177
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 2: of players get up and share what it's really like

1178
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 2: to be them. Was stuff that people hadn't heard. These

1179
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 2: their best mates, they love each other, like they sit

1180
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 2: next to each other every single day at work. They

1181
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 2: didn't know their stories about it, and it connected them. Yeah,

1182
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 2: it really connected them. So there was a very life

1183
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:14,399
Speaker 2: changing moment for me. It's in the book I've written

1184
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 2: about it because it was just and Zach was so

1185
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 2: generous and saying, yeah, right about it. If it helps people,

1186
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:23,360
Speaker 2: that's a legend. During the finals last year, I've been

1187
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 2: lockdown for Adelaide wasn't in. They weren't in lockdown we

1188
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:26,280
Speaker 2: were in Melbourne.

1189
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: Who do you go for? I have to ask, I'm

1190
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 1: also in Melbourney and so I have to know.

1191
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 2: My entire life. I'm back for Hawthorne. I can't support it,

1192
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 2: but I am so in love with the Port boys.

1193
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,399
Speaker 2: I just I'm so close to them that it's hard

1194
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 2: to not want them to do well.

1195
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:41,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.

1196
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 2: Anyway, who do you back for?

1197
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 1: The Mighty Downs?

1198
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 2: Right?

1199
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,759
Speaker 1: Okay, but the day I was born? My dad still

1200
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 1: reminds me that I'm He missed a pre lim final

1201
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: the day I was and then and then I was

1202
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 1: like two weeks later we won the Grand final. Yeah yeah, yeah,

1203
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 1: he got to go to the Grand Final two weeks later.

1204
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 1: So my mum always says, you're indoctrinated. Yes, yeah, oh wow,

1205
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: well done.

1206
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,080
Speaker 2: Well I'm just going from your age. Yeah yeah, was

1207
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 2: that against Hawthorne?

1208
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 1: Maybe? Does it feel like it was trying to think.

1209
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 2: What happened anyway? No, it would have been anyway else.

1210
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 2: That's differ podcast podcast where you call your favorite football game.

1211
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, so to okay, go now you end. I was

1212
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 1: about to I was about to cut you right off then,

1213
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 1: so you finish your.

1214
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 2: Said, I was actually running out of steam. I don't

1215
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:31,040
Speaker 2: know what.

1216
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about this book, so I'm just going

1217
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 1: to read the title and subtitles. So let go. It's

1218
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 1: time for us to let go of shame, expectation, and

1219
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 1: our addiction to social media. Again. Didn't mean to go

1220
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:46,359
Speaker 1: on about acting, but where I study in La, it's

1221
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 1: twelve You've got to do these twelve steps for the process,

1222
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 1: the acting process, and the step twelve was to let go.

1223
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 2: You're kidding me, Yeah, so.

1224
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: Your actors are going to be eating you up. I reckon,

1225
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:01,160
Speaker 1: So okay, talk to me about the book. I full disclosure,

1226
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:02,799
Speaker 1: I haven't read it yet. It's my first time.

1227
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 2: Be amazing if you holding it.

1228
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 1: But I'm so excited, So give us a rundown. And

1229
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:12,439
Speaker 1: when this pod comes out, it will be absolutely out

1230
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 1: and available to get your hands.

1231
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,319
Speaker 2: As you know when you got here. I just ordered

1232
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 2: Uber Eats for my staff, some of my team, and

1233
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 2: I'm just checking it hasn't arrived and I haven't missed

1234
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 2: because it was meant to come about now let me check.

1235
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 1: No, no, this is I.

1236
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 2: Haven't I don't haven't even looked up. I haven't even

1237
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 2: said the order I order. It's now arriving at three nineteen.

1238
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:28,879
Speaker 2: The poor things.

1239
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:33,359
Speaker 1: Oh shake some fries, you said it thought I thought

1240
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,720
Speaker 1: I heard smoothie shakes and fries. Good choices.

1241
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just gonna tell them it's three nineteen.

1242
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: Hang on, you do it.

1243
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 2: Sorry.

1244
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 1: You and I were nerding out over food right before

1245
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: this podcast, And there's a cafe in Melbourne called Terror

1246
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 1: Twilight that we both You can't go wrong there.

1247
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 2: It is honestly the best. It is just the.

1248
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,320
Speaker 1: Best, even in the Tropics. They put in the coffee

1249
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: like the mushroom. It is some mushrooms of brain function

1250
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 1: in the hang on. What they've got an a tropic

1251
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 1: mushroom sections. So when you order your coffee you can and.

1252
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 2: Mushrooms for so they're not in there already.

1253
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: No. I asked for like brain clarity or calming, and

1254
00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 1: it's got like rashie or Yeah, I've got a coffee.

1255
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 1: I'm new linespane in it. So I as soon as

1256
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 1: I was launched, I was like, I've got to see

1257
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 1: this company.

1258
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 2: Oh this is your coffee.

1259
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:17,839
Speaker 1: This is actually a hot chocolate that's got a dapt

1260
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 1: in it. The same ball game as what we're talking about. Territorilight.

1261
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: So these ones are all for calming you down.

1262
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 2: When's this episode coming out?

1263
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: Jen?

1264
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 2: Jen? Okay, Okay, I'm just I'm just do I say this?

1265
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 1: Say it? Say it?

1266
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, January? What day January?

1267
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 1: So we'll take a two week hiatus. It will come out.

1268
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 1: I can bring it out anytime from the middle of January,

1269
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 1: so it can be late.

1270
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 2: Well. I think by then there will be public knowledge

1271
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 2: that where my wife and I having another paper. But

1272
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 2: I've never told her yet, like we haven't even told

1273
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 2: my friends. So but by the time this comes out

1274
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,240
Speaker 2: of it, and I'm just like.

1275
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: She's that pregnancy safe? Is that what you're going to ask?

1276
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:53,239
Speaker 2: Well, No, it's gonna be great because she can't have

1277
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 2: coffee at the moment and she's looking for other drinks.

1278
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 2: So this is going to be when I get home

1279
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:59,279
Speaker 2: tonight and she's spewing because she's been vomiting all day.

1280
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 1: It's really ummy on oat milk, really yummy. Perfect.

1281
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:06,040
Speaker 2: Would this be weird for the podcast if I yell

1282
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:07,359
Speaker 2: out the door and say it's gonna be here at

1283
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 2: three nineteen, sorry, listen, I just I just know they've

1284
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 2: been packing books for me all day and I've got

1285
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:14,600
Speaker 2: they want their Milkhacks hang away a minute, Wait.

1286
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 1: A minute, No, I love it. Ps. I was going

1287
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 1: to say, this book looks incredible and I cannot wait

1288
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:26,560
Speaker 1: to I cannot wait to read it. So this is

1289
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: his second book. The first book is called The Resilience Project.

1290
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:32,760
Speaker 1: I'm just doing a little run down in your books.

1291
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:33,520
Speaker 1: That was fine.

1292
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 2: I feel so bad doing that, but I just know

1293
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 2: they're going to be definitely waiting for their phone.

1294
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, we were. This was the wrap up.

1295
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,320
Speaker 1: I just wanted to know. The final question was about congratulations.

1296
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:44,320
Speaker 1: By the way, I bambino.

1297
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:45,839
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, number three.

1298
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 1: That's oh wow, full house. Yeah, that's a lot.

1299
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 2: I'm still processing it, be honest. I'm just kind of

1300
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:55,480
Speaker 2: like her wife saying we can try a pro it happens.

1301
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 2: So like I was like, okay, and it happened, so good,

1302
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,440
Speaker 2: so exciting. Yeah, so yeah, I will get to the

1303
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,479
Speaker 2: point where it's like the best thing ever. At the moment,

1304
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, how we can't even handle too? How's this

1305
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 2: going to work?

1306
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 1: So oh so exciting?

1307
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:10,760
Speaker 2: Though, Yeah, yeah it is. It's going to be amazing.

1308
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 2: It's amazing.

1309
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: So talk to me about book two because it's officially

1310
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 1: out now. And is it true that it was like

1311
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 1: inspired by you started seeing a therapist during COVID and

1312
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:25,720
Speaker 1: you started to take notes. I take notes in my therapy.

1313
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 1: When I heard you say that, I was like, oh, yes,

1314
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 1: I'm not the only one that's the goober in the

1315
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 1: therapy thing, taking notes the whole way down. And then

1316
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: at the end of the day when the kids went

1317
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 1: to bed, you kind of like pop out the journal

1318
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 1: and have a squize and then pop it in your

1319
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 1: bedside table and be like, no one will ever see this.

1320
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,040
Speaker 2: I'd hide it because the stuff I was writing was

1321
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 2: just really embarrassing. And I was like, I did my wife.

1322
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,280
Speaker 2: There's nothing I don't tell my wife. She knows everything.

1323
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 2: But I was noticing that I was actually making sure

1324
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 2: she couldn't find my journal because I remember about probably

1325
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 2: six months into therapy, my psychologist said she there comes

1326
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 2: a time in life you need to let go of

1327
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 2: the stories you telling yourself and marinating in for a

1328
00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 2: long time for your entire life. And I there was

1329
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 2: those words again, let go, and I was like, oh

1330
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:09,680
Speaker 2: my god. And I couldn't really talk, like I couldn't

1331
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,360
Speaker 2: say anything. I was like, I wasn't crying. I was

1332
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:13,920
Speaker 2: just like, this is so profound. I don't know what

1333
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:15,719
Speaker 2: to say. And at the second she said let go,

1334
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 2: I just felt this tension come out of my shoulders,

1335
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 2: like I just felt. And then I was like, what

1336
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 2: do I need to let go of? And it took

1337
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,800
Speaker 2: another year of therapy to work out that there were

1338
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 2: seven things undered to let go of and we couldn't

1339
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 2: fit all seven on the front cover. So my publisher

1340
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:32,160
Speaker 2: was like, my publisher, I'm Sophie from me, She's the

1341
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 2: most wonderful person you could ever mate. I just love it.

1342
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 2: She's just brilliant. She's just like become a really close friend,

1343
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 2: which is lovely. And she said, we kin't have seven

1344
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,040
Speaker 2: things on the front cover, which three stand out the most?

1345
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 2: And I said, to things four months ago that was

1346
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 2: stand out the most, they're now probably not the three

1347
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: things stand out the most because I've done so much

1348
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 2: work on them. Yeah, but shame expectations, social media on

1349
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 2: the front cover. The other things had to let go

1350
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:56,800
Speaker 2: of the control, perfection, fear of failure, which is really

1351
00:57:56,800 --> 00:58:01,440
Speaker 2: relevant for you, and the one that I I learned

1352
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 2: I didn't I didn't have any issue with, but I

1353
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,400
Speaker 2: just saw it holding so many people back. So I

1354
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 2: wrote about it was an ego. I think we just

1355
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 2: got like we just it holds us back quite too often.

1356
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 2: So in the book, there are two stories on each

1357
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:16,560
Speaker 2: theme basically, so two chapters on each theme, and it's

1358
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 2: it's instances of me just not being out of like

1359
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 2: when I was younger, when it helped me back, when

1360
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 2: those things help me back, and there's a common threat

1361
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 2: of vulnerability all the way through it.

1362
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 1: I guess, well, yeah, that's your whole Yeah it is.

1363
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 1: That's that's what makes you so relatable. I believe as

1364
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 1: someone that's like consumed a lot of your content over

1365
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 1: the last week. As soon as your manager's like, yes,

1366
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 1: you can do it, I was like, okay, here we go,

1367
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,720
Speaker 1: strappin Lola we are. I'm really excited to read about

1368
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,000
Speaker 1: expectation because that's something that I've had to do heaps

1369
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 1: of work with with my therapist. That was a game

1370
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: changer for my boyfriend and I because when we met,

1371
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 1: I just got my American green card. I just got

1372
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 1: my American green card, which I'd worked three years to get.

1373
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 1: It's permanent residency in America. It's like the golden ticket.

1374
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 1: You know all about it because of your sister. And

1375
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 1: I said to my lawyer, Oh, what happens with your partner?

1376
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 1: Like what? And we'd only been dating three months and

1377
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,880
Speaker 1: my lawyer said, you got five days to marry him

1378
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 1: if you want him on your green card. And I

1379
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 1: said to Matt, what a great opportunity. I was like,

1380
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 1: just just we'll run down the city hall whatever the

1381
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 1: version of that is in Australia. Let's just not tell anyone,

1382
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 1: but then you can be on my you can come

1383
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,919
Speaker 1: with me, and then we don't need to worry about

1384
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 1: this two years down the track because it's a really

1385
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 1: hard process. He had a panic attack in front of

1386
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 1: me straight away, straight away, and he was like, there's

1387
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 1: no way I can marry you, Like this is not

1388
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:37,840
Speaker 1: this is not going to happen. All we've known each

1389
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 1: other three months. And I was like, oh, but this

1390
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 1: is my Like I'm a very business and you kind of.

1391
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 1: I was like, what an opportunity, Like you get to

1392
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:47,280
Speaker 1: be in whatever you can be living in America or

1393
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 1: straight whatever you want. This is this is a ticket.

1394
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 1: This is a lot of ticket. And he was like

1395
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 1: this is paid for me right now. Anyway. So I

1396
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 1: went to my therapist and I was like, oh, I'm mortified,

1397
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 1: Like we're fully in love like this. I know, we're

1398
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 1: like got so that's a great connection. And my therapist

1399
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 1: was like, why are you expecting this other human to

1400
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 1: just take on your dreams. He's like, it's the most

1401
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 1: bizarre thing you're doing right now, and he goes, just

1402
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 1: just enjoy whatever you guys have and drop the expectation.

1403
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,919
Speaker 1: And the second I dropped the expectation, our relationship has changed.

1404
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 2: Over there. Isn't that amazing because we like, I've.

1405
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 1: Just spent five months in America and my boyfriend stayed

1406
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:25,520
Speaker 1: in Byron, and it was like we actually strengthened our relationship.

1407
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:28,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm really pumped read about that because that's

1408
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 1: something that I didn't realize that I did, but I

1409
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 1: did it really extremely.

1410
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:37,160
Speaker 2: Self imposed expectations on ourselves and on others, and we

1411
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 2: never questioned where they came from or what they're about.

1412
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 2: I mean, mom, is nowhere here as call as that.

1413
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 2: That's a really good example.

1414
01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 1: You can use it whenever you want.

1415
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:49,600
Speaker 2: I think it was when was it? It was?

1416
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1417
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 2: I mean I basically told myself, as I said before,

1418
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 2: when my sister got sick, I was like, my job

1419
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 2: is to be entertaining in our family home and bring

1420
01:00:56,880 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 2: so much laughter and joy that we never feel sad.

1421
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 2: So and then my sister goes to LA we don't

1422
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 2: see her as much and she gets better. And I'm

1423
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 2: in my early thirties, I'm single either resultance project, I

1424
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 2: can't get it off the ground. And I'd go to

1425
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 2: mom and Dad's house, I'd have nothing to talk about.

1426
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 2: My friends are all getting married kids. I couldn't even

1427
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 2: like get a girl to like me, And I'm like,

1428
01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 2: what is going on? And I just felt like I couldn't.

1429
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 2: I get so anxious around mom and Dad and I

1430
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 2: just like I had nothing good to tell them, and

1431
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:26,800
Speaker 2: I had no energy to tell them exciting, funny stories.

1432
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 2: And in the car of the way home, I'd be

1433
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:31,680
Speaker 2: so down on myself, and so I'd get anxious. When

1434
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:32,920
Speaker 2: I was there, I was like, it's something good I

1435
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 2: can say. I can't think of anything. I've just lost

1436
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 2: that ability. It's gone. And then I've ever tell my

1437
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:40,440
Speaker 2: therapist and she said, so do you do your parents

1438
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,240
Speaker 2: expect you to do that? Do your parents expect you

1439
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:43,880
Speaker 2: to light them up and just tell them to telling

1440
01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 2: stories all the time? And I said, no, of course

1441
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 2: I don't. She goes, what an extraordinary thing to tell yourself.

1442
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 2: And then now there's nothing I love more than turning

1443
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:54,240
Speaker 2: up to no matter what shape the day finds me in.

1444
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 2: Turn out to Mum and Dad's with no expectations to

1445
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 2: be anything other than myself, and how I'm feeling at

1446
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:00,920
Speaker 2: that moment change everything.

1447
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 1: Do you know what changed something for me about expectation? Recently?

1448
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:06,400
Speaker 1: In America? I said to my mom, I was like, oh,

1449
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:10,120
Speaker 1: I'm chasing this dream, but on Instagram having an Insta profile,

1450
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: Like everyone keeps writing to me about fertility because I'm

1451
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 1: thirty six now, and they're like, you need to freeze

1452
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 1: your eggs and you need to do all the stuff

1453
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,360
Speaker 1: to make sure you've got the option of having kids.

1454
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 1: And my mom said, whoa. My mom's a nurse too,

1455
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,040
Speaker 1: so she gets there. She's like, eas up. She goes

1456
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:27,720
Speaker 1: all that, we don't expect you to do anything other

1457
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:30,439
Speaker 1: than be happy. So like she's like, drop any drop

1458
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 1: any think anything that you think that you need to

1459
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 1: do for us. She's like, you do you And she said,

1460
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 1: I know you need to be there and chasing that dream,

1461
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:39,840
Speaker 1: and that's what you need to be doing. Right now,

1462
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 1: and she's like, also, let's we'll chat at forty. Oh,

1463
01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:44,360
Speaker 1: like chill out for a sec, Like stop putting these

1464
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:47,960
Speaker 1: expectations on yourself that she's like, doesn't even make sense

1465
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:49,240
Speaker 1: for you to be thinking about that, right.

1466
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:50,840
Speaker 2: Wendy sounds amazing.

1467
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 1: Wendy is very, very.

1468
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:53,960
Speaker 2: I can't wait to her episode.

1469
01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:57,320
Speaker 1: Yes, she said to me, my nickname was a sloth.

1470
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 1: She call me a sloth and I was a teen

1471
01:02:58,600 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 1: interested And now I see you would saving up for

1472
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:04,600
Speaker 1: this time of your life. Thanks mom, thank you. I

1473
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 1: have had such a joy chatting with you. I want

1474
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 1: a text message after you've done his first stand up

1475
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:12,840
Speaker 1: gig April.

1476
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 2: Photo from Homer Hall.

1477
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 1: Please. Also, I know you're touring all of twenty twenty

1478
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:19,920
Speaker 1: two as well. Are you doing New Zealand, Australia parts

1479
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 1: of Asia as well?

1480
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:25,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, all the major cities in Australia,

1481
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:29,280
Speaker 2: big regional towns as well. Six places, six shows in

1482
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 2: New Zealand, and I believe I shouldn't say the sex

1483
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,439
Speaker 2: and not confirmed. I think Singapore and Hong Kong as well.

1484
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:36,840
Speaker 1: I'll put your website, I'll have your two dates. I'll

1485
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: put it all in the show. Notes. Thank you so much.

1486
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,640
Speaker 1: You are absolutely wonderful and you've totally lit me up.

1487
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 2: I love today. Thank you so much. Thank you really

1488
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 2: appreciate it.

1489
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,

1490
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 1: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation

1491
01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:03,400
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I'm Att, Hello, lollaberry. This potty my word

1492
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 1: for podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love

1493
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Speaker 1: it if you could subscribe, rape and comment, and of

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Speaker 1: course spread the love.