WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Boys will be boys 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.280 Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.120 Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:11.920 pay our respect to their elders past and present and 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.280 extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:16.120 peoples today. 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.560 This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:41.640 Hi guys, and a welcome back to another episode of 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:46.479 Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Ruth, and we have 0:00:47.159 --> 0:00:47.800 some news. 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:49.639 I we're going to say that this Thursday, and oh 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:50.600 I fuck all right. 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:53.279 Firstly, before I tell you what the news is, let's yeah, 0:00:53.360 --> 0:00:54.240 let's build the suspense. 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:57.400 Yea, guys, we've got something that we want to tell you. 0:00:58.280 --> 0:00:59.680 It's Thursday, so we won't. 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:05.120 It's an ask on Cut episode and that means that you, guys, 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:06.240 why are you talking like that? 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:09.880 I've written in questions because I'm building suspense. Brittany okay, 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:15.280 Borno the truth? Are you around? No? No? No, I'm okay. 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:15.600 All right. 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.000 Well, asking card that is where you are. You send 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:20.000 in your questions and we do our best to answer them. 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:23.440 It's solicited unqualified advice where we answer you deep you 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:24.600 duck and your burning questions. 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:26.960 And Laura's obviously far too excited. 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:29.160 She's jumping out on the seat because we do have 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.440 I guess two big things that we are announcing. One's 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:35.040 bigger than the other, but they're both. They're both big, 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:38.200 they're both equals exciting. I mean, I'm excited for both 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.160 of them. Maybe they could go together, Like what if 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.639 people put them on to go to the other one. 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:44.880 Are you gonna wear the thing to go to the thing? 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:49.160 Could we thing? Inception? That's I mean, you could wear 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:52.200 the thing and bring the thing at the thing. 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:57.720 Okay, guys, so the news is you'll asked for it. 0:01:57.720 --> 0:01:59.280 Actually all of you didn't, but some of you did. 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:05.120 And we are doing a live show. We are, but 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.360 we're just testing the waters because if it sucks, we 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:08.400 won't do more than one. 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.880 So we're just doing one to start with. We think 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:12.200 it's gonna be fucking awesome. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:15.000 It's not gonna suck, but like well finger scrossier scrush. 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:17.040 We we never know if you've never done it, so 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:18.120 like we're just putting it out there. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:18.760 It's the first time. 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:21.440 If it does, don't come at us, yep, Maybe don't 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:23.480 share it on social media. It is something that has 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:25.760 been asked for, you know, since we started. It was 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:28.160 something that was asked of us. But we never were 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:30.080 in a real position too. I mean, Laura had two 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:31.800 little kids all the time, we had full time jobs. 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:32.440 We were trying to do that. 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:33.639 I do have them all the time. 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:35.400 I keep trying to say, like go away, and then 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:36.800 they just come back and go go away. 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:37.959 But they're always there. 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:40.560 But the need and the ask and the one has 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:43.680 become more prevalent over time. And I just I guess 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:45.640 two weeks ago, now, maybe I put a pole up. 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:47.360 I put it one final poll there was I was 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:49.600 doing a question right, a Q and A, and there 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:51.239 are a few that came through saying you and Laura 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:52.520 are ever going to do a live show. 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:54.000 So I thought, you know what, this is. 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:55.880 A current theme. I'm going to put the pole out 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:58.080 guys if we do a live show, is anyone gonna come? 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:01.200 Does anyone want to actually see us in here? And well, 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:07.600 the poll spoke for itself. Three percent of people said yes, no, No. 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:09.400 It was overwhelmingly yes. 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:11.840 So you are so we're delivering. We are going to 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.040 We're going to attempt our first live show. 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.680 But also this is also in conjunction because obviously we 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:18.280 have the book coming out at the end of the year. 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:20.640 Once again, if you haven't pre ordered that, it is 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:21.880 called We Love Love. 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:23.160 Links are in our bio. 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.359 Links are in our bio links are also on the website. 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:28.000 But this is just to coincide with that launch we're 0:03:28.000 --> 0:03:30.400 going to be it's going to be in October. Unfortunately, 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.920 we are doing it to start with in Sydney. We 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:36.200 just we have one planned. It may turn into two 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.880 depending on how ticket sales go for the first one. 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:41.240 But we really wanted to try it. We really wanted 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:44.320 to get it dialed. We have really exciting plans for 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:46.080 what this live show is going to look like, but 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:47.960 we also wanted to like make sure that we had 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:49.840 it right so that way, once that's done, we can 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:51.160 then roll it out to other places. 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:52.360 So we are really. 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.640 Sorry if you're in Brisbane, if you're in Perth, wherever 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:55.280 you are. 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:56.720 We want you to be there. 0:03:56.920 --> 0:03:58.840 Unfortunately, that would also mean buying a ticket to come 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:01.080 to Sydney. But yeah, like one day we'll be coming 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:02.520 to you as well, so don't feel excluded. 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:04.600 We love you all, Okay. If it's it's just like 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:05.800 just let us dip our toe in. 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:08.480 But if it goes well, we want to I mean 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:10.480 like two ways, a big word and just. 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:14.400 Yeah because like like I mean, we've been recording this 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:17.200 in a loungdry and still do that for three years. 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:18.520 We forget you guys are there. 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:21.360 We just talk to ourselves and to getting friend of 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:23.520 all of you will be like we're naked, yeah, and. 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:26.719 Like talking about let me put it this way, I 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.320 feel fine talking about a finger in the bum on 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:31.800 a podcast. Would I feel fine doing that in front 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.520 of a completely sold out room of people. Maybe not 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:37.880 quite so much, but I'm gonna do it. 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:40.560 You're gonna give it? Well, yeah, wave it around. 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:41.359 But no. 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:43.320 We also have something else we want to tell you, guys, 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:46.000 and that is that we have new jumper merch coming as. 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:48.120 Well, and they're so good. 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:50.840 They're actually I mean, if you guys like last year's 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.040 and we think you're gonna love this year's ones. And 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:56.320 also we have because like last year, the big problem 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.840 with our merch was that it's sold out very quickly 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.440 and so many people missed out, and we understand that, 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:03.600 like the site crash and it was just a whole 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:06.640 fucking mess to be perfectly honest, So we really put 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.360 some time in. We appreciate it's taken us a bit 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:10.800 longer this year, but we have a lot more of 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:12.920 it to make sure that we can, you know, get 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:16.000 one out two everyone who wants one, keep your eyes 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:18.240 and ears on Instagram. Like we said, all of the 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.360 details are up in our website, but if you jump 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:24.040 onto Life Uncut podcast that's our Instagram, go follow it. 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.840 We will have all those details coming up very shortly 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:29.400 for all the super exciting like this. The end of 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:32.359 this year for this podcast has just blown out book 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:34.200 live show jumpers. 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.039 By the book and wear the jumper and bring them 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:38.880 both to the live show. 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.000 Would love it. Let's get into answering some questions. 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:44.080 I mean, then that makes you a real diehard laugh 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:46.720 I doesn't it like came to the show, bought the book, 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:47.440 wll the jumper. 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:48.000 Games or conquered. 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:50.000 All right, let's get into the questions question Num. 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:50.200 One. 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:50.840 I'll kick start. 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:53.560 So my boyfriend has a group text with about six 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:55.920 of his guy friends. Three of them are single and 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.599 the other three are in relationships. I recently found out 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:02.120 that it's really common for them to share pictures or 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:05.200 screenshots of the girls that the single guys are hooking 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:08.120 up with, which I think is fine. But an extra 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:10.360 part that I just found out is that the single 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:14.440 guys are sharing pretty much any nudes or sexualized picks 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:17.120 of these girls that they are sent. There's a lot 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:19.680 of topless picks, and I just said, that is disgusting. 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:22.919 I told my boyfriend this. He told me that I'm overreacting. 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:25.960 I said, it is very disrespectful. He said he wasn't 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.520 doing anything wrong, and if he was, he wouldn't be 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.600 so honest with me about it. I want him off 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:33.280 this group text, but he refuses. 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:34.279 So am I wrong? 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:36.760 Or is this gross and disrespectful? Yes, this is gross 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:37.520 and disrespectful. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:40.719 Also, this is the fact that he the fact that 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:44.360 he turns around and says, I told you this because 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:47.680 I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Just because 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.800 you don't think you're doing something wrong doesn't mean you're 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:52.279 not actually doing something wrong. Actually, what you're doing is something. 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:53.240 That's fucking illegal. 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:57.800 Because when somebody sends a nude photo of themself to 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:02.160 one person, they are giving consent for that one person 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:04.880 to see the photo. So every single one of those 0:07:04.920 --> 0:07:07.960 boys who feel the need to then send those photos. 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:12.480 Internally it's revenge porn. Now that feels like it like 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.720 that as a word, like that's such a weighty thing 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.320 to tell someone and be like, dude, that's fucking revenge porn. 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:19.160 Oh that sound dropped a law bomb. 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.800 Yeah, and that that sounds I mean, obviously it feels 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:24.920 so defaming, but like, that's exactly what this is. And 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.760 the fact that he doesn't see this as a problem, 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:29.960 I think really just goes to show that there is 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:31.800 still this huge gap between. 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:34.800 Like lads being lads. It's just the boys being. 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:38.040 Boys and what actually is is acceptable and how women 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:41.920 should be treated. It makes me so fucking angry. And 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:45.040 I have definitely dated guys in the past who had 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.120 these sorts of group chats who thought this sort of 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:50.320 behavior is okay. But to objectify a woman, or to 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:53.480 think that that it's okay to share nudes even with 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:56.920 that around friends without that person's consent is problematic on 0:07:56.960 --> 0:07:57.920 so many fucking levels. 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.120 And there's probably a part of them and this is 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:05.480 this is so so wrong, But the word revenge porn, 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:07.200 there's probably part of them this like, what. 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:08.120 This is a revenge porn? 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:09.880 We're telling them how hot we're talking about how hot 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.200 they are. This is all positive, like they probably don't 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:14.560 associate it with We're not going out trying to ruin 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:18.360 someone's life. It doesn't matter. It is illegal. You cannot 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:22.960 share somebody else's nuds without their consent. I would be 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:27.080 if I would be rapable and mortified if I knew 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:30.000 that someone obviously someone you trusted, because if you're sending 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:33.040 a nude to someone, there's a level of trust and 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:36.520 respect there. This is usually the understanding between two people. 0:08:36.600 --> 0:08:38.360 If I knew they were going and just sharing that 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:41.480 my personal photos around it, I would be You'd be off, 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:43.800 You'd you'd beg BUYE, see you later. 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:45.800 But also, GEN know what, I think it's really important 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:49.760 for us to have this conversation because it's so easy 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.000 for this to be one sided and for this conversation 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:54.679 to be gendered. It's so easy to say, like male 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:57.400 group chats do this to the girls that they're dating. 0:08:57.800 --> 0:08:59.640 But I also know that a lot of women do 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:01.520 this as well. A lot of women will send around 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:04.040 dig pics or they'll send around photos that they have 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:06.920 of their partners, not necessarily their boyfriends, but of guys 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:10.040 that they're dating. A lot of us have done this 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.880 in different ways, and I think it's something to be 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:16.280 really really conscious of, Like do you want to be 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.480 part of that archaic mentality that is like, oh, it's 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:21.920 okay to share this dick pic with my friend because 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:24.160 it's funny, you know? Or do you want to be 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:26.240 part of the movement that says you know, actually, do 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:28.200 you know what? I want better for our digital footprint? 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.240 I want better for the way we treat each other online. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:31.160 Yeah. 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:34.199 Sure, I might find something funny or I might find 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:36.400 something amusing that I want to share with my friends, 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.559 But I'm going to be the bigger person that doesn't 0:09:38.559 --> 0:09:42.000 subscribe into this gossip and really like objectifying to fame someone, 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:45.520 because I do think that it isn't just guys who 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.520 do this like we do this sending around dig picks 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:47.880 as well. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.800 Mate. I have seen this, Mate, I'm getting fired up now. 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:52.560 M eight, M eight. 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:55.160 I have seen this in our Facebook group. And obviously 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:58.199 these are posts that we have very quickly deleted, but 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:02.400 people sharing photos that someone has sent to them a 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:05.559 dick pic or something that maybe I mean normally it 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:08.400 has been a dick pic with the sort of sentiment 0:10:08.480 --> 0:10:10.520 of like ha ha ha, I cannot believe I was 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:14.640 sent this like that's never okay in any situation, doesn't 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:16.840 matter if it's a guy sending it to his group 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:19.040 of guy friends of a girl, or a girl sending 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:20.960 it and putting that there to their group of friends 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:23.719 who are girls. This whole situation is monumentally fucked and 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:27.280 I think it all comes down to this conversation around values. 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.040 You guys might be aligned on a lot of things, 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:32.840 but he is showing you who he is and where 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:35.240 his values lie by saying that he doesn't think that 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:38.319 there is a problem with this. So I would say 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.120 the next way of for you to approach this situation 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:43.320 is to sit down to have a really genuine conversation 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:47.440 around why this is so problematic. If he doesn't understand, 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.720 to educate him on why this is problematic, and if 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:53.439 he still thinks that this isn't an issue and that 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:58.280 you're overreacting about this, I would really question whether he 0:10:58.520 --> 0:11:01.439 is someone whose values line up with what you want 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.559 and expect and need in a partner, because this, to me, 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:08.720 reeks of immaturity, it reeks of toxic masculinity, it reeks 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:12.760 of just this really archaic. Lads will be lads, and 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:14.760 I think that we need to be better and ask 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:16.120 for better in our relationships. 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:18.160 And let's let's give him the benefit of the doubt. 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:20.640 Let's just say he's not educated on the topic, he 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:21.520 doesn't know it's illegal. 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:22.679 Let's start from there. 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:25.360 Taking all that information, sit down on the internet, pull 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:27.520 it up, show him cases of people that have gone 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:29.360 to prison for this kind of thing, like this is 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:30.040 a real thing. 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.240 But I mean, like, fuck, it's twenty twenty two. You 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.360 shouldn't have to Like people shouldn't have to be hand 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.080 held through this conversation. You know, I kind of hate them. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.520 I disagree, Yeah, only to a point that I'm not 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:43.320 saying we need to handhold, but I disagree there would 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:49.160 be some very very naive, completely removed people still in society. 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:50.600 And like, this is why I say, let's give him 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.599 the benefit of a doubt. If if he doesn't know 0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:56.760 this is actually illegal, Like he might know deep down 0:11:56.840 --> 0:11:58.520 that it's like, oh, probably shouldn't be sharing these, but 0:11:58.600 --> 0:12:00.400 he might not know it's actually people go to prison 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:00.640 for it. 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:02.200 Educate him, show him. 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.719 If he still has the same sentiment and belief that 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:06.520 it's okay, well, then that's something you need to decide 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:08.240 to decide if you want to stay in that relationship, 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:09.960 because I wouldn't. Like for me, I'd be like, well, 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:11.679 that's you're disgusting, Like, yeah, it's not for me. 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:13.480 And I guess like the big thing for me is, 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:15.199 like I know that we keep coming back to this 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:17.840 whole concept of revenge porn and like something being illegal 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.360 or criminalized or whatever. But I don't think it always 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.319 has to be around like where the law lies, like 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:26.000 what feels morally right, Like what feels good to you 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:28.560 as a person, What is the right way to treat someone. 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:31.559 They're the qualities I want in my partner. Like you know, 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:33.680 I don't kind of date someone based on are they 0:12:33.760 --> 0:12:36.240 doing something criminal or not? Like I date someone based 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.439 on do their values? Is who they are as a 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.000 person aligned with who I am as a person? And 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.439 can I be confident and proud in the way that 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.680 they represent women, in the way that they fight for minorities, 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:50.199 in the way that they share their political views. And 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:54.520 I really think that this is all very intertwined. Question 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:57.719 number two, Oh there we go, all right, Question number two. 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:00.160 About three weeks ago, I had the best sex of 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:03.360 my life. Get your yeah, good on yetting happy for you, 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.079 and it was a one night stand. I didn't realize 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.760 sex could be this good, or that it was even 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.440 possible when you pick up at a nightclub. I knew 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:13.640 he was from out of town, so there was no expectations. 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:16.200 We had an amazing night and morning, and then also 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:19.240 had an amazing afternoon. He didn't leave until two pm, 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.520 so there was lots of sexy times when he left. 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:24.679 I didn't ask for his number because in my head 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:26.520 I was kind of telling myself, well, he'll probably ask 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.640 you if he wants your number, which is dumb. 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:28.959 I know. 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:32.560 I should also mention we really vibed, but didn't really 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:34.880 talk much about ourselves because it's, you know, a one 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:38.160 night stand, so why bother. So, using the minimal details 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:41.000 I had, I typed them into Google. Who would have 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.880 fucking known? His LinkedIn came up? So my question is 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:45.319 who could have guessed? 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:46.520 He could have guessed it. 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.559 Can I now go and add him on Facebook and 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:51.480 say if you're ever back in town, I'd love to 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.160 catch up? Or do I bury this and ruin the fantasy? 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.160 I remember, yes, you. 0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:58.240 Can message him on Facebook? 0:13:58.280 --> 0:13:58.800 Fucking yes? 0:13:58.880 --> 0:13:59.040 Yeah? 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:00.560 So I okay, a little story. 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.640 I don't even can message him on LinkedIn, but brit says, no, 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:04.199 we've had this conversation not on LinkedIn. 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:09.120 Yes, Psycho, going to Facebook's way better. I years news. 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:11.200 I think I was twenty five. I'd just moved to Sydney. 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:13.920 I've told this probably on the podcast in our very 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:16.319 first year, like two or three years ago. I was 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.199 online dating then and I didn't I wasn't big on 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:18.880 social media. 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:20.920 But there was this guy that I wasn't big on 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:22.880 social media. I didn't even know how to do the interweb. 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:24.120 But I didn't know how to do anything well when 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.000 I wasn't big on social That's a great way of 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:27.560 describing it. No, I mean I wasn't. 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:29.800 I didn't have I mean I wasn't didn't have social 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.120 when you were, didn't have a big following. Oh, I 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:33.840 don't know how to use it the interweb at all. 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:35.360 Like I think I said, a hotmail or a big 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:39.120 pond or something. Nothing against anyone, big pond, just kind. 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:43.000 But I was not good on social media. So I 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.920 had seen this guy and I just didn't happen often, 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:49.960 but his online dating profile he was so hot, like 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:51.280 it was, he was so good looking. 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:52.040 It was ridiculous. 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:53.760 I don't know what it was. He had this dog 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.160 that I loved. I loved his dog, I love his 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:58.600 vibe of photos. I loved everything about him, and he 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.560 had his whole this was I don't know if he 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:02.960 put it in I don't remember, or if that's what 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:04.920 it used to be online dating them, but his whole 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:08.840 entire name was in the profile. 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:11.040 I think back in the day it was a whole name. 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.400 Until people started to get stalked and stuff. Anyway, I 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:18.560 swiped right and it wasn't a match. But I remembered 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.400 his name and we didn't match, so I could have 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.440 part of me could have been like, well, he has 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:26.960 doesn't like you because he's probably seen you not matched. 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:29.400 But I went and found him on Facebook, so I 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:31.720 typed the name in quite a few people came up, 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:32.360 so I. 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:34.360 Dug onto page sixteen and found him. 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:37.280 Yeah, but one of his photos that I saw was 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:39.120 the I matched it with a photo that I had 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:40.560 seen of him and this dog, so I knew it 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:41.280 was the right guy. 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:43.600 There are so many layers of you being a crazy 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:45.960 bitch in this totally, and I fucking love it, loved it. 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:49.720 So I messaged him I was like, hey, I remember 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:53.000 what I wrote. I remember saying I mean that is 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:54.200 five ten years ago. 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:57.200 I saw you on it. This is a sentence. 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:58.120 I hoped I would never. 0:15:58.080 --> 0:15:59.960 Say, that's what I said. This is a sentence. I 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:01.000 hoped I would never say. 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.400 I saw you on the dating app and we didn't match, 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:08.240 so I found you on Facebook. I just wanted to 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:10.960 say hey, And in my head I just thought I 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.480 will regret will because I waited up. I was like, 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:17.320 will I regret never knowing? And the answer was yes, 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:19.200 I would regret not knowing more than I would regret 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:21.960 him rejecting me. So I went for it, took a risk. 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:25.960 He wrote back almost immediately or like within an hour, 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.040 and he said, hey, I'm so glad you reached out. 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:31.920 I haven't seen you online dating. He was from New Zealand. 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:32.960 I haven't seen you on that. 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.120 And then we start he hadn't gotten to you yet basically, 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:36.800 so it wasn't that he said, no, It's like it was, 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:39.920 havn't come across you. You're like, well, I'm out of 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.000 matches because I've literally gotten to the place where there's 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:44.280 no one left in Sydney. Well, he was in New Zealand. 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:46.960