Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island
Speaker 1: peoples today.
Speaker 2: This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, and a welcome back to another episode of
Speaker 2: Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Ruth, and we have
Speaker 2: some news.
Speaker 3: I we're going to say that this Thursday, and oh
Speaker 3: I fuck all right.
Speaker 2: Firstly, before I tell you what the news is, let's yeah,
Speaker 2: let's build the suspense.
Speaker 3: Yea, guys, we've got something that we want to tell you.
Speaker 3: It's Thursday, so we won't.
Speaker 2: It's an ask on Cut episode and that means that you, guys,
Speaker 2: why are you talking like that?
Speaker 3: I've written in questions because I'm building suspense. Brittany okay,
Speaker 3: Borno the truth? Are you around? No? No? No, I'm okay.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: Well, asking card that is where you are. You send
Speaker 2: in your questions and we do our best to answer them.
Speaker 2: It's solicited unqualified advice where we answer you deep you
Speaker 2: duck and your burning questions.
Speaker 3: And Laura's obviously far too excited.
Speaker 1: She's jumping out on the seat because we do have
Speaker 1: I guess two big things that we are announcing. One's
Speaker 1: bigger than the other, but they're both. They're both big,
Speaker 1: they're both equals exciting. I mean, I'm excited for both
Speaker 1: of them. Maybe they could go together, Like what if
Speaker 1: people put them on to go to the other one.
Speaker 3: Are you gonna wear the thing to go to the thing?
Speaker 3: Could we thing? Inception? That's I mean, you could wear
Speaker 3: the thing and bring the thing at the thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, so the news is you'll asked for it.
Speaker 2: Actually all of you didn't, but some of you did.
Speaker 2: And we are doing a live show. We are, but
Speaker 2: we're just testing the waters because if it sucks, we
Speaker 2: won't do more than one.
Speaker 3: So we're just doing one to start with. We think
Speaker 3: it's gonna be fucking awesome.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna suck, but like well finger scrossier scrush.
Speaker 2: We we never know if you've never done it, so
Speaker 2: like we're just putting it out there.
Speaker 3: It's the first time.
Speaker 1: If it does, don't come at us, yep, Maybe don't
Speaker 1: share it on social media. It is something that has
Speaker 1: been asked for, you know, since we started. It was
Speaker 1: something that was asked of us. But we never were
Speaker 1: in a real position too. I mean, Laura had two
Speaker 1: little kids all the time, we had full time jobs.
Speaker 1: We were trying to do that.
Speaker 3: I do have them all the time.
Speaker 2: I keep trying to say, like go away, and then
Speaker 2: they just come back and go go away.
Speaker 3: But they're always there.
Speaker 1: But the need and the ask and the one has
Speaker 1: become more prevalent over time. And I just I guess
Speaker 1: two weeks ago, now, maybe I put a pole up.
Speaker 1: I put it one final poll there was I was
Speaker 1: doing a question right, a Q and A, and there
Speaker 1: are a few that came through saying you and Laura
Speaker 1: are ever going to do a live show.
Speaker 3: So I thought, you know what, this is.
Speaker 1: A current theme. I'm going to put the pole out
Speaker 1: guys if we do a live show, is anyone gonna come?
Speaker 1: Does anyone want to actually see us in here? And well,
Speaker 1: the poll spoke for itself. Three percent of people said yes, no, No.
Speaker 3: It was overwhelmingly yes.
Speaker 1: So you are so we're delivering. We are going to
Speaker 1: We're going to attempt our first live show.
Speaker 2: But also this is also in conjunction because obviously we
Speaker 2: have the book coming out at the end of the year.
Speaker 2: Once again, if you haven't pre ordered that, it is
Speaker 2: called We Love Love.
Speaker 1: Links are in our bio.
Speaker 2: Links are in our bio links are also on the website.
Speaker 2: But this is just to coincide with that launch we're
Speaker 2: going to be it's going to be in October. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: we are doing it to start with in Sydney. We
Speaker 2: just we have one planned. It may turn into two
Speaker 2: depending on how ticket sales go for the first one.
Speaker 2: But we really wanted to try it. We really wanted
Speaker 2: to get it dialed. We have really exciting plans for
Speaker 2: what this live show is going to look like, but
Speaker 2: we also wanted to like make sure that we had
Speaker 2: it right so that way, once that's done, we can
Speaker 2: then roll it out to other places.
Speaker 3: So we are really.
Speaker 2: Sorry if you're in Brisbane, if you're in Perth, wherever
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 3: We want you to be there.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, that would also mean buying a ticket to come
Speaker 2: to Sydney. But yeah, like one day we'll be coming
Speaker 2: to you as well, so don't feel excluded.
Speaker 3: We love you all, Okay. If it's it's just like
Speaker 3: just let us dip our toe in.
Speaker 1: But if it goes well, we want to I mean
Speaker 1: like two ways, a big word and just.
Speaker 2: Yeah because like like I mean, we've been recording this
Speaker 2: in a loungdry and still do that for three years.
Speaker 3: We forget you guys are there.
Speaker 1: We just talk to ourselves and to getting friend of
Speaker 1: all of you will be like we're naked, yeah, and.
Speaker 2: Like talking about let me put it this way, I
Speaker 2: feel fine talking about a finger in the bum on
Speaker 2: a podcast. Would I feel fine doing that in front
Speaker 2: of a completely sold out room of people. Maybe not
Speaker 2: quite so much, but I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 3: You're gonna give it? Well, yeah, wave it around.
Speaker 1: But no.
Speaker 2: We also have something else we want to tell you, guys,
Speaker 2: and that is that we have new jumper merch coming as.
Speaker 3: Well, and they're so good.
Speaker 2: They're actually I mean, if you guys like last year's
Speaker 2: and we think you're gonna love this year's ones. And
Speaker 2: also we have because like last year, the big problem
Speaker 2: with our merch was that it's sold out very quickly
Speaker 2: and so many people missed out, and we understand that,
Speaker 2: like the site crash and it was just a whole
Speaker 2: fucking mess to be perfectly honest, So we really put
Speaker 2: some time in. We appreciate it's taken us a bit
Speaker 2: longer this year, but we have a lot more of
Speaker 2: it to make sure that we can, you know, get
Speaker 2: one out two everyone who wants one, keep your eyes
Speaker 2: and ears on Instagram. Like we said, all of the
Speaker 2: details are up in our website, but if you jump
Speaker 2: onto Life Uncut podcast that's our Instagram, go follow it.
Speaker 2: We will have all those details coming up very shortly
Speaker 2: for all the super exciting like this. The end of
Speaker 2: this year for this podcast has just blown out book
Speaker 2: live show jumpers.
Speaker 1: By the book and wear the jumper and bring them
Speaker 1: both to the live show.
Speaker 3: Would love it. Let's get into answering some questions.
Speaker 2: I mean, then that makes you a real diehard laugh
Speaker 2: I doesn't it like came to the show, bought the book,
Speaker 2: wll the jumper.
Speaker 3: Games or conquered.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get into the questions question Num.
Speaker 2: One.
Speaker 3: I'll kick start.
Speaker 1: So my boyfriend has a group text with about six
Speaker 1: of his guy friends. Three of them are single and
Speaker 1: the other three are in relationships. I recently found out
Speaker 1: that it's really common for them to share pictures or
Speaker 1: screenshots of the girls that the single guys are hooking
Speaker 1: up with, which I think is fine. But an extra
Speaker 1: part that I just found out is that the single
Speaker 1: guys are sharing pretty much any nudes or sexualized picks
Speaker 1: of these girls that they are sent. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of topless picks, and I just said, that is disgusting.
Speaker 1: I told my boyfriend this. He told me that I'm overreacting.
Speaker 1: I said, it is very disrespectful. He said he wasn't
Speaker 1: doing anything wrong, and if he was, he wouldn't be
Speaker 1: so honest with me about it. I want him off
Speaker 1: this group text, but he refuses.
Speaker 3: So am I wrong?
Speaker 1: Or is this gross and disrespectful? Yes, this is gross
Speaker 1: and disrespectful.
Speaker 2: Also, this is the fact that he the fact that
Speaker 2: he turns around and says, I told you this because
Speaker 2: I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Just because
Speaker 2: you don't think you're doing something wrong doesn't mean you're
Speaker 2: not actually doing something wrong. Actually, what you're doing is something.
Speaker 3: That's fucking illegal.
Speaker 2: Because when somebody sends a nude photo of themself to
Speaker 2: one person, they are giving consent for that one person
Speaker 2: to see the photo. So every single one of those
Speaker 2: boys who feel the need to then send those photos.
Speaker 2: Internally it's revenge porn. Now that feels like it like
Speaker 2: that as a word, like that's such a weighty thing
Speaker 2: to tell someone and be like, dude, that's fucking revenge porn.
Speaker 3: Oh that sound dropped a law bomb.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that that sounds I mean, obviously it feels
Speaker 2: so defaming, but like, that's exactly what this is. And
Speaker 2: the fact that he doesn't see this as a problem,
Speaker 2: I think really just goes to show that there is
Speaker 2: still this huge gap between.
Speaker 3: Like lads being lads. It's just the boys being.
Speaker 2: Boys and what actually is is acceptable and how women
Speaker 2: should be treated. It makes me so fucking angry. And
Speaker 2: I have definitely dated guys in the past who had
Speaker 2: these sorts of group chats who thought this sort of
Speaker 2: behavior is okay. But to objectify a woman, or to
Speaker 2: think that that it's okay to share nudes even with
Speaker 2: that around friends without that person's consent is problematic on
Speaker 2: so many fucking levels.
Speaker 1: And there's probably a part of them and this is
Speaker 1: this is so so wrong, But the word revenge porn,
Speaker 1: there's probably part of them this like, what.
Speaker 3: This is a revenge porn?
Speaker 1: We're telling them how hot we're talking about how hot
Speaker 1: they are. This is all positive, like they probably don't
Speaker 1: associate it with We're not going out trying to ruin
Speaker 1: someone's life. It doesn't matter. It is illegal. You cannot
Speaker 1: share somebody else's nuds without their consent. I would be
Speaker 1: if I would be rapable and mortified if I knew
Speaker 1: that someone obviously someone you trusted, because if you're sending
Speaker 1: a nude to someone, there's a level of trust and
Speaker 1: respect there. This is usually the understanding between two people.
Speaker 1: If I knew they were going and just sharing that
Speaker 1: my personal photos around it, I would be You'd be off,
Speaker 1: You'd you'd beg BUYE, see you later.
Speaker 2: But also, GEN know what, I think it's really important
Speaker 2: for us to have this conversation because it's so easy
Speaker 2: for this to be one sided and for this conversation
Speaker 2: to be gendered. It's so easy to say, like male
Speaker 2: group chats do this to the girls that they're dating.
Speaker 2: But I also know that a lot of women do
Speaker 2: this as well. A lot of women will send around
Speaker 2: dig pics or they'll send around photos that they have
Speaker 2: of their partners, not necessarily their boyfriends, but of guys
Speaker 2: that they're dating. A lot of us have done this
Speaker 2: in different ways, and I think it's something to be
Speaker 2: really really conscious of, Like do you want to be
Speaker 2: part of that archaic mentality that is like, oh, it's
Speaker 2: okay to share this dick pic with my friend because
Speaker 2: it's funny, you know? Or do you want to be
Speaker 2: part of the movement that says you know, actually, do
Speaker 2: you know what? I want better for our digital footprint?
Speaker 2: I want better for the way we treat each other online.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sure, I might find something funny or I might find
Speaker 2: something amusing that I want to share with my friends,
Speaker 2: But I'm going to be the bigger person that doesn't
Speaker 2: subscribe into this gossip and really like objectifying to fame someone,
Speaker 2: because I do think that it isn't just guys who
Speaker 2: do this like we do this sending around dig picks
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 3: Mate. I have seen this, Mate, I'm getting fired up now.
Speaker 3: M eight, M eight.
Speaker 2: I have seen this in our Facebook group. And obviously
Speaker 2: these are posts that we have very quickly deleted, but
Speaker 2: people sharing photos that someone has sent to them a
Speaker 2: dick pic or something that maybe I mean normally it
Speaker 2: has been a dick pic with the sort of sentiment
Speaker 2: of like ha ha ha, I cannot believe I was
Speaker 2: sent this like that's never okay in any situation, doesn't
Speaker 2: matter if it's a guy sending it to his group
Speaker 2: of guy friends of a girl, or a girl sending
Speaker 2: it and putting that there to their group of friends
Speaker 2: who are girls. This whole situation is monumentally fucked and
Speaker 2: I think it all comes down to this conversation around values.
Speaker 2: You guys might be aligned on a lot of things,
Speaker 2: but he is showing you who he is and where
Speaker 2: his values lie by saying that he doesn't think that
Speaker 2: there is a problem with this. So I would say
Speaker 2: the next way of for you to approach this situation
Speaker 2: is to sit down to have a really genuine conversation
Speaker 2: around why this is so problematic. If he doesn't understand,
Speaker 2: to educate him on why this is problematic, and if
Speaker 2: he still thinks that this isn't an issue and that
Speaker 2: you're overreacting about this, I would really question whether he
Speaker 2: is someone whose values line up with what you want
Speaker 2: and expect and need in a partner, because this, to me,
Speaker 2: reeks of immaturity, it reeks of toxic masculinity, it reeks
Speaker 2: of just this really archaic. Lads will be lads, and
Speaker 2: I think that we need to be better and ask
Speaker 2: for better in our relationships.
Speaker 3: And let's let's give him the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 1: Let's just say he's not educated on the topic, he
Speaker 1: doesn't know it's illegal.
Speaker 3: Let's start from there.
Speaker 1: Taking all that information, sit down on the internet, pull
Speaker 1: it up, show him cases of people that have gone
Speaker 1: to prison for this kind of thing, like this is
Speaker 1: a real thing.
Speaker 2: But I mean, like, fuck, it's twenty twenty two. You
Speaker 2: shouldn't have to Like people shouldn't have to be hand
Speaker 2: held through this conversation. You know, I kind of hate them.
Speaker 1: I disagree, Yeah, only to a point that I'm not
Speaker 1: saying we need to handhold, but I disagree there would
Speaker 1: be some very very naive, completely removed people still in society.
Speaker 1: And like, this is why I say, let's give him
Speaker 1: the benefit of a doubt. If if he doesn't know
Speaker 1: this is actually illegal, Like he might know deep down
Speaker 1: that it's like, oh, probably shouldn't be sharing these, but
Speaker 1: he might not know it's actually people go to prison
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 3: Educate him, show him.
Speaker 1: If he still has the same sentiment and belief that
Speaker 1: it's okay, well, then that's something you need to decide
Speaker 1: to decide if you want to stay in that relationship,
Speaker 1: because I wouldn't. Like for me, I'd be like, well,
Speaker 1: that's you're disgusting, Like, yeah, it's not for me.
Speaker 2: And I guess like the big thing for me is,
Speaker 2: like I know that we keep coming back to this
Speaker 2: whole concept of revenge porn and like something being illegal
Speaker 2: or criminalized or whatever. But I don't think it always
Speaker 2: has to be around like where the law lies, like
Speaker 2: what feels morally right, Like what feels good to you
Speaker 2: as a person, What is the right way to treat someone.
Speaker 2: They're the qualities I want in my partner. Like you know,
Speaker 2: I don't kind of date someone based on are they
Speaker 2: doing something criminal or not? Like I date someone based
Speaker 2: on do their values? Is who they are as a
Speaker 2: person aligned with who I am as a person? And
Speaker 2: can I be confident and proud in the way that
Speaker 2: they represent women, in the way that they fight for minorities,
Speaker 2: in the way that they share their political views. And
Speaker 2: I really think that this is all very intertwined. Question
Speaker 2: number two, Oh there we go, all right, Question number two.
Speaker 2: About three weeks ago, I had the best sex of
Speaker 2: my life. Get your yeah, good on yetting happy for you,
Speaker 2: and it was a one night stand. I didn't realize
Speaker 2: sex could be this good, or that it was even
Speaker 2: possible when you pick up at a nightclub. I knew
Speaker 2: he was from out of town, so there was no expectations.
Speaker 2: We had an amazing night and morning, and then also
Speaker 2: had an amazing afternoon. He didn't leave until two pm,
Speaker 2: so there was lots of sexy times when he left.
Speaker 2: I didn't ask for his number because in my head
Speaker 2: I was kind of telling myself, well, he'll probably ask
Speaker 2: you if he wants your number, which is dumb.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I should also mention we really vibed, but didn't really
Speaker 2: talk much about ourselves because it's, you know, a one
Speaker 2: night stand, so why bother. So, using the minimal details
Speaker 2: I had, I typed them into Google. Who would have
Speaker 2: fucking known? His LinkedIn came up? So my question is
Speaker 2: who could have guessed?
Speaker 3: He could have guessed it.
Speaker 2: Can I now go and add him on Facebook and
Speaker 2: say if you're ever back in town, I'd love to
Speaker 2: catch up? Or do I bury this and ruin the fantasy?
Speaker 3: I remember, yes, you.
Speaker 1: Can message him on Facebook?
Speaker 3: Fucking yes?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So I okay, a little story.
Speaker 2: I don't even can message him on LinkedIn, but brit says, no,
Speaker 2: we've had this conversation not on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1: Yes, Psycho, going to Facebook's way better. I years news.
Speaker 1: I think I was twenty five. I'd just moved to Sydney.
Speaker 1: I've told this probably on the podcast in our very
Speaker 1: first year, like two or three years ago. I was
Speaker 1: online dating then and I didn't I wasn't big on
Speaker 1: social media.
Speaker 3: But there was this guy that I wasn't big on
Speaker 3: social media. I didn't even know how to do the interweb.
Speaker 3: But I didn't know how to do anything well when
Speaker 3: I wasn't big on social That's a great way of
Speaker 3: describing it. No, I mean I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't have I mean I wasn't didn't have social
Speaker 1: when you were, didn't have a big following. Oh, I
Speaker 1: don't know how to use it the interweb at all.
Speaker 1: Like I think I said, a hotmail or a big
Speaker 1: pond or something. Nothing against anyone, big pond, just kind.
Speaker 1: But I was not good on social media. So I
Speaker 1: had seen this guy and I just didn't happen often,
Speaker 1: but his online dating profile he was so hot, like
Speaker 1: it was, he was so good looking.
Speaker 3: It was ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was. He had this dog
Speaker 1: that I loved. I loved his dog, I love his
Speaker 1: vibe of photos. I loved everything about him, and he
Speaker 1: had his whole this was I don't know if he
Speaker 1: put it in I don't remember, or if that's what
Speaker 1: it used to be online dating them, but his whole
Speaker 1: entire name was in the profile.
Speaker 3: I think back in the day it was a whole name.
Speaker 1: Until people started to get stalked and stuff. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: swiped right and it wasn't a match. But I remembered
Speaker 1: his name and we didn't match, so I could have
Speaker 1: part of me could have been like, well, he has
Speaker 1: doesn't like you because he's probably seen you not matched.
Speaker 1: But I went and found him on Facebook, so I
Speaker 1: typed the name in quite a few people came up,
Speaker 1: so I.
Speaker 3: Dug onto page sixteen and found him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but one of his photos that I saw was
Speaker 1: the I matched it with a photo that I had
Speaker 1: seen of him and this dog, so I knew it
Speaker 1: was the right guy.
Speaker 2: There are so many layers of you being a crazy
Speaker 2: bitch in this totally, and I fucking love it, loved it.
Speaker 1: So I messaged him I was like, hey, I remember
Speaker 1: what I wrote. I remember saying I mean that is
Speaker 1: five ten years ago.
Speaker 3: I saw you on it. This is a sentence.
Speaker 1: I hoped I would never.
Speaker 3: Say, that's what I said. This is a sentence. I
Speaker 3: hoped I would never say.
Speaker 1: I saw you on the dating app and we didn't match,
Speaker 1: so I found you on Facebook. I just wanted to
Speaker 1: say hey, And in my head I just thought I
Speaker 1: will regret will because I waited up. I was like,
Speaker 1: will I regret never knowing? And the answer was yes,
Speaker 1: I would regret not knowing more than I would regret
Speaker 1: him rejecting me. So I went for it, took a risk.
Speaker 1: He wrote back almost immediately or like within an hour,
Speaker 1: and he said, hey, I'm so glad you reached out.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you online dating. He was from New Zealand.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen you on that.
Speaker 1: And then we start he hadn't gotten to you yet basically,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't that he said, no, It's like it was,
Speaker 1: havn't come across you. You're like, well, I'm out of
Speaker 1: matches because I've literally gotten to the place where there's
Speaker 1: no one left in Sydney. Well, he was in New Zealand.
Speaker 3: He was from New Zealand, but here's yeah.
Speaker 1: We started to talk and I was like, this guy's amazing,
Speaker 1: and he said, I leave in America. I'm actually unfortunately
Speaker 1: going back in three days time, but do you want
Speaker 1: to get dinner?
Speaker 3: And I said yes.
Speaker 1: So we met up that night and we did not
Speaker 1: leave each other side for three days, and the best
Speaker 1: three days together, like, had great sex.
Speaker 3: We're obsessed.
Speaker 1: I was like one of those people that was like,
Speaker 1: I've met a soulmate, like I was like, and he
Speaker 1: felt the same. Anyway, that was ten years ago and
Speaker 1: to this day we are still probably he's probably one
Speaker 1: of my closest friends. Like he's in another relationship long term.
Speaker 1: We just adore each other as people the unit. For
Speaker 1: whatever reason, the universe was supposed to put us together.
Speaker 1: And he's still someone that I would call to tell
Speaker 1: every secret to when I'm upset. When I Jordan and
Speaker 1: I ended, I called him first. He's one of those people.
Speaker 1: And we've only probably we've caught up over the years.
Speaker 1: I've seen him in America, he's been here a few times.
Speaker 1: Nothing's ever happened. We've just gotten to this point where
Speaker 1: we're just obsessed with each other. As two humans. But
Speaker 1: that was all from going out on this one little
Speaker 1: limb and chasing someone down. So I'm a really big
Speaker 1: advocate for this. Well.
Speaker 2: I think this is a funny one because I think, like,
Speaker 2: it's always fine if they want you to do it, Like,
Speaker 2: it's always fine if it's reciprocated, right, Like, so if
Speaker 2: a guy who you don't match with on Tinder then
Speaker 2: and stalks you down, finds you on Facebook and messages
Speaker 2: you if you think he's hot and you hadn't seen him,
Speaker 2: of course you're gonna be like, yeah, let's go for it.
Speaker 2: But if you did see him and you swipe no,
Speaker 2: you're gonna be like, oh, that fucking creep he found me.
Speaker 2: Like this can go one of two ways. But I
Speaker 2: think the rule is it's one message. It is one message.
Speaker 2: If there is no reply, that is the rejection. Leave
Speaker 2: that person alone.
Speaker 3: Do not be the person that multiply like like is like,
Speaker 3: come on with me again. You get one shot, you
Speaker 3: don't triple text, you didn't catch it on LinkedIn, you
Speaker 3: don't triple LinkedIn? Did you get my message? I think
Speaker 3: it's fine.
Speaker 2: I think in this instance, if you had an amazing
Speaker 2: time together, it is probably a little bit weird that
Speaker 2: he didn't ask for your number, but in the same
Speaker 2: way that you didn't.
Speaker 3: Maybe he thought you.
Speaker 2: Were going to ask, you thought he was gonna ask.
Speaker 2: No one asked, so that you're both kind of like, okay,
Speaker 2: well this is what this is, and then you left it.
Speaker 2: I think, go out, shoot your shot. The worst thing
Speaker 2: that's gonna happen is he's not going to write back.
Speaker 3: Well, that's it. He's not gonna write it.
Speaker 1: No, you creep.
Speaker 3: He's not gonna You might think it, but he.
Speaker 1: Won't write it. And that's what you've got to remember.
Speaker 1: You've got to remember he's either going to see it
Speaker 1: and not reply, big deal, move on, or he's going
Speaker 1: to reply and say I had a great time too,
Speaker 1: let's catch up for sure. Maybe you won't catch up,
Speaker 1: maybe he's been polite. Maybe you will catch up. But
Speaker 1: shoot your bloody shot.
Speaker 2: And that is totally the takeaway message from this, like
Speaker 2: more so than like whether you should go and message
Speaker 2: someone on Instagram or like whether you should do it
Speaker 2: on LinkedIn, whatever it is. I think the big thing
Speaker 2: to remember is that like rejection, especially when there is
Speaker 2: not much writing on it, when it's literally just you're
Speaker 2: sending a message and you.
Speaker 3: Didn't get a reply.
Speaker 2: That shouldn't be a big deal, Like, we don't need
Speaker 2: to make that a big deal. It's okay to put
Speaker 2: yourself out there and for someone to be like, you know, nah,
Speaker 2: I wasn't feeling it like that is not a reflection
Speaker 2: on you as a person. It is not a reflection
Speaker 2: on what you provide in a relationship. It's not a
Speaker 2: reflection of your value by any means. What that's a
Speaker 2: reflection of is what that other person's needs and wants are.
Speaker 2: And they may not be at a point where they
Speaker 2: want to date. They may be in a fucking relationship.
Speaker 2: You do not have any idea where somebody else is
Speaker 2: at in life. And the worst thing that you can
Speaker 2: ever do is take a rejection personally in these instances
Speaker 2: because ninety nine point nine per percent of the time,
Speaker 2: they're just simply not question number three. So a few
Speaker 2: weeks back, on a drunken night, I slept with my
Speaker 2: housemate who is also my friend. We had been out
Speaker 2: with a group of mutual friends and one thing led
Speaker 2: to another, and well we did the deed several times
Speaker 2: now in the one night and rooms now since then,
Speaker 2: he has basically just pretended as though nothing happened, Like
Speaker 2: he hasn't ever brought it up and hasn't mentioned a
Speaker 2: single thing. I don't want to date him or anything
Speaker 2: like that, but is it strange that he hasn't said
Speaker 2: a single thing about it? Should I be offended by this?
Speaker 2: Should I bring it up with him? Or should I
Speaker 2: just never acknowledge the huge elephant that I feel is
Speaker 2: in the room.
Speaker 1: I would be put in an advert up on flatmate
Speaker 1: Finder for either you to move out or for him
Speaker 1: to move out.
Speaker 3: No, this is I think this is a funny one.
Speaker 3: I would How many people out there do you reckon it?
Speaker 3: Fuck their house mates? Apes?
Speaker 1: Hey?
Speaker 3: I thon you have no do you know what? Though?
Speaker 2: I once there was three of us, right, like three friends,
Speaker 2: and we were all going to move into a house together,
Speaker 2: and that was the plan. And then I had sex
Speaker 2: with one of them, and then we couldn't all move
Speaker 2: in together because we all.
Speaker 3: Agreed that that would be very bad. Well, I've done it.
Speaker 3: How did that pan out for you?
Speaker 1: So? I was an interesting story. I'm afore I give
Speaker 1: you my opinion. I'll tell you it wasn't intentional.
Speaker 2: I had fell over and he fell into me. It
Speaker 2: slips writing I fell over onto his penis happens to
Speaker 2: the best personal It certainly does.
Speaker 1: Okay, was when I moved to Scotland. I moved to
Speaker 1: Scotland and I had I only knew one person there.
Speaker 1: I was living on my own because she now the
Speaker 1: girl's gotta eat well Shered had fallen in love with Jaye,
Speaker 1: her Scottish fiance, and they left me for daf so
Speaker 1: I had to fend for myself.
Speaker 3: So I had to go fend for myself.
Speaker 1: So I only knew one other person, and it was
Speaker 1: a guy that was from New Zealand. Originally I said
Speaker 1: to him, hey, you don't happen to know anyone that
Speaker 1: has any accommodation due or is looking for a room
Speaker 1: to rant. Because he was a bit young. He'd lived
Speaker 1: in Scotland for two years. And he was like, hold
Speaker 1: the line. I've got a big group of friends.
Speaker 3: Let me put it out there.
Speaker 1: And I was like fantastic. That afternoon he gets back
Speaker 1: to me, He's like, hey, I've got a whole apartment.
Speaker 1: You can rent the two bedrooms, one bathroom. Great place,
Speaker 1: Like it's pretty nice. The guy my friend that owns
Speaker 1: the apartment is away, he said, any friend of yours
Speaker 1: is a friend of mine. So he's like, he'll give
Speaker 1: it to you for a really cheap price, but you
Speaker 1: can only have it for eight weeks while he's away.
Speaker 1: And then he's coming like he's giving you eight weeks
Speaker 1: to find somewhere, and I'm like, that is amazing, that's great.
Speaker 3: That's a long time.
Speaker 1: So I moved into this house and this guy started
Speaker 1: messaging me, just the owner but being really nice, just
Speaker 1: being like, hey, let me know if you need anything,
Speaker 1: you know, like this is the coffee shop I go to.
Speaker 2: He'd also been sent a photo of what you look like,
Speaker 2: so he knew exactly who was staying in his house.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know if he had, but he It
Speaker 1: turns out he is a rugby player. He played World
Speaker 1: Cup rugby. Yeah for his type, well for Italy too,
Speaker 1: so like, definitely my type. So he The texts started
Speaker 1: to eventuate into facetimes. Once a week he'd FaceTime me
Speaker 1: to check in everything all right with the house. And
Speaker 1: the first time we saw each other, he tells the
Speaker 1: story where he was like, oh, that you're pretty cute.
Speaker 3: He didn't say that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't attracted to him. Initially, I just thought he
Speaker 1: was a really nice guy. He wasn't my actual type.
Speaker 1: After he did his rugby tour, he moved back and
Speaker 1: I was supposed to have left, but he had developed
Speaker 1: this really big crush on me. So he's like, you
Speaker 1: can stay in the house if you want. I've got
Speaker 1: two bedrooms. He's like, just one hundred bucks, like whatever.
Speaker 3: Just he's like, it's nice to.
Speaker 1: Have a company. But it was a ploy and we
Speaker 1: ended up well sort of together. I guess we ended
Speaker 1: up eventually cooking up and we're just it was weird.
Speaker 1: We would like sleep together and then go back to
Speaker 1: your to your own pictureoms and stuff, and we had
Speaker 1: a shared war.
Speaker 2: Sounds like the dream relationship that sounds amazing for months,
Speaker 2: months and months just have sex and then go back
Speaker 2: and get a good night's sleep.
Speaker 3: It was yeah, and that was it.
Speaker 1: So like, yes, I have done it, but we it
Speaker 1: definitely wasn't an elephant in the room.
Speaker 3: We spoke about it. This situation is awkward.
Speaker 1: Because you have literally just hooked up and now he's
Speaker 1: pretending like I didn't, especially.
Speaker 2: If you're friends, like if you guys are housemates and
Speaker 2: your mates like you're good friends who hang out together,
Speaker 2: who like you know that relationship has now changed that
Speaker 2: the fact, and I'm I do not deal with elephants
Speaker 2: in the room.
Speaker 3: Brittany knows this. I don't deal with it. Like you
Speaker 3: have to fucking talk about it.
Speaker 2: You have to talk about things because otherwise it just
Speaker 2: like festus and gets weird. And so if he's just
Speaker 2: there being like, oh, hey, how's your day, Like did
Speaker 2: some shopping, got some milk, and you're like, yeah, remember
Speaker 2: when you were inside me three days now when you
Speaker 2: got my milk?
Speaker 3: Yeah, remember remember when I milked all over you? Like,
Speaker 3: there's it's weird. This is weird. Yes, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not arguing the point, but I don't think would
Speaker 1: you bring it up?
Speaker 3: No, you wouldn't. You would never say anything.
Speaker 1: But do you know what if if I did, it
Speaker 1: would be in a really joking way. I wouldn't be like,
Speaker 1: let's sit down and talk about it. But I think
Speaker 1: no day you think you could be like, hey, remember
Speaker 1: how he fucked, because that's what I would do. That's
Speaker 1: exactly what I do. I'm like, hey, remember the other
Speaker 1: day how we fucked? But I remember how that time,
Speaker 1: how we had sex. I would say it in a
Speaker 1: funny way, but I would also go with the flow,
Speaker 1: probably a little bit, like if he's pretending it doesn't happen,
Speaker 1: and you're happy to pretend it doesn't happen, I think
Speaker 1: that's fine.
Speaker 3: But like, this's for some reason he doesn't want to
Speaker 3: talk about it.
Speaker 1: But maybe he thinks you don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know if you bring it up, funny
Speaker 1: throwaway comment, that's my advice.
Speaker 2: I think the big thing is is like figure out
Speaker 2: why it makes you feel so weird that he doesn't
Speaker 2: want to talk about it, Like is it because you're like,
Speaker 2: there is something that happened. We both know it happened,
Speaker 2: and now our friendship feels disingenuous because we're not at
Speaker 2: least acknowledging it, which I think is a.
Speaker 3: Very real thing.
Speaker 2: Like right, you might be feeling like, well, now we
Speaker 2: are doing this lot, or like living together and lying
Speaker 2: about living in sin Yeah, we're just like it feels inauthentic, right,
Speaker 2: and some people really, you know, and I think most people,
Speaker 2: most people want to live in a way that feels
Speaker 2: authentic to them, especially in their own home.
Speaker 3: So I think it's Okay, Like, if this was me,
Speaker 3: I would probably bring it up. I would definitely bring
Speaker 3: it up, I think, and not.
Speaker 1: Because one hundred percent wood yes, And I would.
Speaker 2: Say like, hey, I just want to bring this up
Speaker 2: because I do feel like there's an elephant in the
Speaker 2: room and I don't want this to change our friendship
Speaker 2: because I think you're great.
Speaker 3: I'm not interested in anything more than that.
Speaker 2: Like that was crazy, but also like I just want
Speaker 2: to clear this energy because it feels weird for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for me, that makes it that that changes the
Speaker 1: dynamic because all of a sudden, it's making it something
Speaker 1: bigger than it is. He's like, cool, we had sex.
Speaker 1: You're like, cool, we had sex. I don't think you
Speaker 1: need to talk about it. He's probably worried about making
Speaker 1: the friendship awkward, changing the friendship dynamic, ruining the friendship.
Speaker 1: But by sitting down and saying I don't want this
Speaker 1: to change anything, but we need to talk about it,
Speaker 1: and addressing on from the.
Speaker 3: Room, it changes it. But the thing is you had sex.
Speaker 3: It changed it anyway. That's the problem.
Speaker 2: The problem is is lex and forget not. It doesn't
Speaker 2: work like that. It's not like doing each other's washing
Speaker 2: like he's been inside you. You have had sex, so
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be a big deal. But like
Speaker 2: I think, if it's becoming a big deal and you
Speaker 2: cannot stop thinking about it, then at least and I mean,
Speaker 2: I okay. And the reason why I'm saying like, talk
Speaker 2: about a little bit is because I do think like
Speaker 2: communication is the foundation for every relationship, whether you're friends,
Speaker 2: whether you're romantic, whatever it is, Like, have a conversation.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be a big, in depth conversation.
Speaker 2: But if I was in this situation, I would feel
Speaker 2: so fucking weird that we'd had sex and he was
Speaker 2: just pretending it didn't happen.
Speaker 1: Well, the benefit of having the conversation, if we're gonna
Speaker 1: go there is maybe you could hook up again.
Speaker 3: Maybe this could be my situation. Maybe yeah, and also
Speaker 3: like maybe a new kid.
Speaker 2: You said it earlier, brit But like often people think,
Speaker 2: I don't want to bring it up because I don't
Speaker 2: want to make the other person feel awkward, and he
Speaker 2: might be doing the same thing.
Speaker 3: Could be so, and you guys might be men for
Speaker 3: each other. Wait can this be an ask on cut aftermath? Please?
Speaker 3: Can you tell us what happened? With this friendship hooking
Speaker 3: up story.
Speaker 2: Absolutely if you guys have an eye Ask Uncut Aftermath.
Speaker 2: That means if we have ever answered one of your
Speaker 2: ask Guncut questions before and you have a resolution to
Speaker 2: the conundrum, we want to know about it. Slide on
Speaker 2: into the DMS at Life Uncut podcast tell us what happened.
Speaker 3: And also, if you haven't.
Speaker 2: Pre ordered the book yet, this is your cheeky little
Speaker 2: reminder to go jump on the links in our bios.
Speaker 3: Get yourself that we love love book, yes, because we
Speaker 3: would love love.
Speaker 1: That well, there won't be an endless amount, so you
Speaker 1: do want to make sure you get your hot little
Speaker 1: hands on one before they hopefully sell out.
Speaker 3: And you know the so your mom too got too?
Speaker 1: Dog toy friends and share the love because we love
Speaker 1: when Bababao takababa ba