Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.
Speaker 3: Hi guys, and.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 3: I'm Laura and I'm hungover. What is with that? You're
Speaker 3: on Struggle Street?
Speaker 2: Laura, I had a midweek drink. No, we went out
Speaker 2: last night. We had a thinging on last night. We
Speaker 2: were on a boat in the Overseas Passenger Terminal.
Speaker 3: Richard Branson brought his.
Speaker 2: Big ass cruise ship in it, parked.
Speaker 3: It in Sydney for the night and we got to go.
Speaker 2: And I mean it wasn't we Literally three quarters of
Speaker 2: Sydney was on this thing. Every single person who was
Speaker 2: into the public, anyone who had a pulse was on
Speaker 2: this thing last night.
Speaker 3: It was amazing.
Speaker 2: And I ank a lot for a week night. It's
Speaker 2: very rare that I get a night out, and when
Speaker 2: I do, I like to celebrate.
Speaker 3: It's just a shame that this one was on a
Speaker 3: Wednesday night. You love a Margie, You do love a Margie.
Speaker 3: And I detest a margie.
Speaker 1: So I will never ever to the day I die
Speaker 1: drink a margarite with you, no offense.
Speaker 3: That's all right, We're gonna have other things. There's other
Speaker 3: things for us to celebrate. Din't you tell at what
Speaker 3: you did last night? You cheated on Matt. You tried
Speaker 3: to cheat on math. That needs some context.
Speaker 2: Okay, So we're standing there, there's like this big group
Speaker 2: of people. Just so you can really understand what happened,
Speaker 2: we're sending this big group of people. Matt was wearing
Speaker 2: a gray suit. He looked sharp, he looked handsome. He
Speaker 2: did he did, and it was like this.
Speaker 3: Silky material, not silky, but like had a bit of
Speaker 3: a sheen to it.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, so when you touched it, it felt like
Speaker 2: a little bit saturnat One might say, can I realize
Speaker 2: it's like.
Speaker 3: A tiny bit of a shine cotton night it felt?
Speaker 3: I mean, I didn't rub him, so I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I'm one of those people that are quite
Speaker 2: tact her like I quite what's the right word for it.
Speaker 2: There's like a specific word if you're someone who's sents
Speaker 2: free from touch, tact that's tactor.
Speaker 1: No. I think that there's another word for it, you're
Speaker 1: just hyper sensitive to feelings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I really enjoy the touch of things. Right,
Speaker 2: So I was in chatting and I was in the
Speaker 2: middle of a conversation with someone, and I reached out
Speaker 2: and there was mad and I was like rubbing Matt's back.
Speaker 2: And I was just rubbing Matt's back for a while anyway.
Speaker 2: Then I could feel the mat was looking at me,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, like and like but looking
Speaker 2: at me in a way that didn't feel from my
Speaker 2: periphery like it was normal. And I turned around and
Speaker 2: it wasn't mad at all. I was rubbing Tim Robart's
Speaker 2: back like just coincidentally, the wrong bachelor was standing next
Speaker 2: to me, and I was just rubbing him. And now, look,
Speaker 2: contrary to popular belief, we don't know each other very well.
Speaker 3: I've only met him twice and I was just rubbing.
Speaker 2: How long is like more than a minute, like more
Speaker 2: than a full minute of me rubbing my hand in
Speaker 2: the circle on his back, just round.
Speaker 3: Him, rubbing him for a minute. Well, I think he
Speaker 3: was just confused.
Speaker 2: I think he might have thought that I was like
Speaker 2: getting his attention to then say something to him, But
Speaker 2: I just didn't turn to him at all.
Speaker 3: I just kept rubbing.
Speaker 2: Anyway, It's a pretty long time he's done a plank.
Speaker 2: It was an uncomfortably long time. Hence why when he
Speaker 2: turned to look at me, because I was full in
Speaker 2: conversation with someone else, so he didn't want to interrupt me.
Speaker 2: I think he thought I was doing it on purpose.
Speaker 2: And then he kind of looked at me, like are
Speaker 2: you right?
Speaker 3: What did he say? He just looked at me really odd,
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh my god. When I looked
Speaker 3: at him, and I was like, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I thought you were mat And then at this point
Speaker 2: I dragged him through the crowd so that I could
Speaker 2: show him that him and Matt were wearing the exact
Speaker 2: same suit, which is awkward for them, but more awkward
Speaker 2: for me. Apparently suppose that, oh yeah, I'm gonna put
Speaker 2: this on the socials guys right now.
Speaker 3: Actually that's allow, I'll do it tomorrow because we're talking there.
Speaker 2: I took a photo of them back to back because
Speaker 2: I was like, no one will believe how much they
Speaker 2: look the same.
Speaker 3: No one will believe that they are carbon coffee Bachelor's.
Speaker 4: Is this just you saying this? So that Anna Tim's
Speaker 4: wife hears it and goes, hmm, someone told me that
Speaker 4: you were rubbing my husband's back, and now you're trying
Speaker 4: to explain yourself.
Speaker 3: Nah, ignorant. She'd be like, take him. I fucking don't
Speaker 3: want to serve with him anymore. I don't reckon, I
Speaker 3: don't reckon. She wants you to have him. She's like,
Speaker 3: fuck off.
Speaker 4: She's like got fight to us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she's tired now, she's vulnerable. Poor woman is prepared.
Speaker 3: So that's what you thought you'd get a while she's down.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Guys, something that we wanted to share with you,
Speaker 2: which you might have seen if you've been following along
Speaker 2: on the instagrams Our life on.
Speaker 3: Cut hats are finally here. Baby.
Speaker 1: It took us a while, and they're actually so good.
Speaker 1: We need to trial them, you know, we need to
Speaker 1: wear them around. I can confirm they keep the sun
Speaker 1: off the face, they do all the things that a
Speaker 1: hat would do.
Speaker 2: And also they come in three beautiful colors to fit
Speaker 2: your summer wardrobe. We've got lilac, we've got forest green,
Speaker 2: we've got beige. Depends on what kind of girl you're
Speaker 2: feeling or giry are you're feeling.
Speaker 1: Well what I can say is Ben actually stole all
Speaker 1: of them. He stole them when he came here and
Speaker 1: he loves them. Can recommend, but were actually your cute
Speaker 1: hot girl walks.
Speaker 2: The qualities are amazing and just so you know, like
Speaker 2: for pricing and stuff, the hats are forty two dollars.
Speaker 2: There is a shipping fee on them. The shipping fee
Speaker 2: is ten bucks. But we can't teache that shipping is expensive.
Speaker 2: That only covers the bag of the shipping.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what that covers.
Speaker 2: It's nine dollars seventy for a five hundred gram Australia
Speaker 2: post bag and so like it doesn't even cover the
Speaker 2: cost of you know, the warehousing and people packing it.
Speaker 2: Which I just wanted to make people aware of that
Speaker 2: because they know that shipping can always be a charge
Speaker 2: that people hate paying.
Speaker 1: And we are giving five percent from every hat to
Speaker 1: a charity of our choice. We always give something from
Speaker 1: our merch so this year for the hats, we have
Speaker 1: decided to give it to Mission Australia to help combat homelessness,
Speaker 1: which is also something we feel really passionate about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially at this time of year as well, coming
Speaker 3: into Christmas and the economical crier it. So it's hard.
Speaker 2: But guys, the hats, they are beautiful. They're available online
Speaker 2: and we put a link in our buyer if you
Speaker 2: want to get yourself up.
Speaker 1: And they also have a ponytail section, like you know
Speaker 1: how they've got the cut out of the back o.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we thought about it all Yeah, you put your
Speaker 3: pony in there. You can tighten it.
Speaker 1: If you have a tiny little pea head like me,
Speaker 1: tighten it. If you have a bigger head like Laura
Speaker 1: and Keisha, you can.
Speaker 3: Loosen it full of brain.
Speaker 2: But also it's got like a little brass adjustable class
Speaker 2: with the back like the detailing on these are amazing.
Speaker 2: They are the logos. I'm embroidered. They've just made really
Speaker 2: really well. So this is a summer accessory that you're
Speaker 2: going to very much enjoy. All right, Well, before we
Speaker 2: get into answering all your questions, there was something else
Speaker 2: that I wanted to talk about, and that was have
Speaker 2: any of you seen the new promo video for Ricky
Speaker 2: Gervase's new special which is coming out on Netflix, Because
Speaker 2: there has been some uproar, and everybody in this room
Speaker 2: right here has some feelings about it.
Speaker 3: Well, I feel like it's.
Speaker 1: Gone pretty viral, right, It's just this one short promo
Speaker 1: clip that's been doing the rounds because his Netflix specially
Speaker 1: is coming out sometime over Christmas, and this clip that
Speaker 1: he's going viral is a joke that he has made
Speaker 1: specifically about terminally ill children, and it's enables joke simultaneously,
Speaker 1: so he's managed to hit two very sensitive topics in
Speaker 1: one joke.
Speaker 3: I'm going to play it for you just so you
Speaker 3: guys can hear it.
Speaker 5: I've been doing a lot of video messages recently for
Speaker 5: terminally ill children, and only if they request it.
Speaker 3: Obviously I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't burst into hospitals and go wake up Baldy.
Speaker 5: He's working on TikTok. Look, no, I did a lot
Speaker 5: through the pandemic, presumably because they couldn't even see their
Speaker 5: own family. And it's through Make a Wish Foundation. Do
Speaker 5: you know the charity Make a Wish Foundation. They're great
Speaker 5: and they give these dying kids. They're like one wish
Speaker 5: And if it's me, I always say yes, and I
Speaker 5: always start the video the same way.
Speaker 3: I go, why didn't you wish to get better?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 5: You fucking retarded as well, So.
Speaker 4: Backlash that Ricky Gervaise has received from This includes some
Speaker 4: public profiles as well, people like Ashley Kine. He's a
Speaker 4: British soccer player and he had a daughter. She was
Speaker 4: eight months old when she died from lakemia back in
Speaker 4: twenty twenty one, so he's been quite outspoken about this
Speaker 4: on his social media and he said I was actually
Speaker 4: a fan of Ricky Gervais, but after watching his stand
Speaker 4: up with My Family and hearing multiple jokes about terminally
Speaker 4: ill children and especially kids with cancer, I had to
Speaker 4: turn it off. Some things are not funny, especially to
Speaker 4: the parents that are left by. You can get canceled
Speaker 4: in this world for so much, yet making a mockery
Speaker 4: of dying children is okay. I'm so mad at this.
Speaker 4: Kelly Finlay said she's one of our favorite people. She's
Speaker 4: joined the Girls on the podcast. She was also at
Speaker 4: the Adelaide Live show. Kelly has been diagnosed with terminal
Speaker 4: cancer herself. She shared some images and videos to Instagram
Speaker 4: and one of them said what the actual fuck? A
Speaker 4: message for Ricky Gervase in response to his Netflix special
Speaker 4: calling make a Wish Cancer Kids Baldy and asking why
Speaker 4: don't they just wish to be cured. I don't even
Speaker 4: know why I'm giving this men airtime, but if you're
Speaker 4: unsure what my last post was about this man and
Speaker 4: tagged Ricky Gervase is using terminally ill children as the
Speaker 4: subject of his jokes. Disgusting. How this is even still
Speaker 4: on Instagram for people to see makes me feel sick.
Speaker 2: It's really interesting to me because I think the thing
Speaker 2: that triggered me the most in that joke wasn't the
Speaker 2: make a wish joke. It was the really ablest term,
Speaker 2: which we obviously just heard. And I think that part
Speaker 2: of it hasn't even been mentioned in so much of
Speaker 2: the outrage. It's almost like the disability part isn't the
Speaker 2: part that have made people the most angry. Where we
Speaker 2: seem to draw the line in comedy is when it's
Speaker 2: at the expense of kids. But I think that we
Speaker 2: have a much greater allowance so when it's at the
Speaker 2: expense of so many other people. And I guess my
Speaker 2: feeling about this is Ricky Jervas is controversial and he
Speaker 2: punches down on so many different groups. He has made
Speaker 2: trans jokes, he has made religious jokes, he makes fat jokes,
Speaker 2: he makes ablest jokes, but The way in which Ricky
Speaker 2: Gervaise often does his jokes is that he retrofits them.
Speaker 3: He kind of re engineers them.
Speaker 2: So what he does is he makes a joke, but
Speaker 2: then he goes on to explain that it's a joke.
Speaker 2: This is what he also has to say off the
Speaker 2: back of that.
Speaker 5: I don't do that either.
Speaker 3: Okay, these are all jokes.
Speaker 5: I don't even use that word in real life. The
Speaker 5: R word. You just used it, Rick Yeah, in a
Speaker 5: joke that's not real life. Is I'm playing a role?
Speaker 5: You sounded pretty convincing. Yeah, because I'm good. You wouldn't
Speaker 5: level the accusation of other art forms. You wouldn't got
Speaker 5: up to Sir Anthony Hopkins and go I saw you
Speaker 5: in silence the lambs? What's a you? A cannibal?
Speaker 1: Iya?
Speaker 5: No, I was playing a role. Seem pretty convincing. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's good and I'm good, and that's why I do
Speaker 5: things well. Imagine if I came I ownly did things
Speaker 5: not very well so you knew I was joking, that'd
Speaker 5: be fucking retarded.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: And we've discussed this between us, and it's been We've
Speaker 1: had heated conversations.
Speaker 3: We've had calm conversations.
Speaker 1: We had educational conversations because we all do have different opinions,
Speaker 1: and this is what the world comes down to, right,
Speaker 1: Like some people will be offended by something that others
Speaker 1: will laugh at. It's just going to come down to
Speaker 1: human opinion, individual opinion. For me, it is never okay
Speaker 1: and it will never be okay to laugh and make
Speaker 1: fun of dying children. It doesn't matter that you tack
Speaker 1: on to the end of that. Just so you guys
Speaker 1: know that this is a joke. We get it's a joke.
Speaker 1: You're a comedian, we get it. But I just think
Speaker 1: there are some things in life that you don't touch.
Speaker 2: I think it's really interesting exploring where people's line sits,
Speaker 2: really because there has been so many debates recently around comedy,
Speaker 2: around what is acceptable comedy. We saw recently if you
Speaker 2: guys have been across at Matt Rife, he's a big
Speaker 2: American comedian. He had his very first Netflix special and
Speaker 2: recently it has been wildly and widely reported on around
Speaker 2: his domestic violence joke that he made at the start
Speaker 2: of it. And to be fair, I watched the whole
Speaker 2: of that Netflix special and I was like, this is
Speaker 2: just baseless, It is not funny, and it is the
Speaker 2: lowest form. It's like the lowest hanging fruit in terms
Speaker 2: of humor and in terms of the person to mock.
Speaker 2: I think his delivery was very bad. And I don't
Speaker 2: want to labor on Matt Rife because I feel like
Speaker 2: we've spoken so much about him. But I think comedians
Speaker 2: overall have a little bit more of a green card
Speaker 2: to play in the controversial. I think that they have
Speaker 2: a little bit more allowances to say things that make
Speaker 2: us feel uncomfortable because they play within the absurd. Do
Speaker 2: I think that it's okay? Do I think that the
Speaker 2: jokes are then therefore allowable. Do I think it is
Speaker 2: helpful to public discourse. No, I don't think that it's
Speaker 2: any of those things. But I also don't think it
Speaker 2: is a comedian's responsibility to provide a positive impact on
Speaker 2: the world. I don't think that that's the service they're providing.
Speaker 2: So I do think sometimes it's interesting how we say, oh,
Speaker 2: this joke wasn't funny, and we try and cancel them.
Speaker 2: And this was the big thing around Ricky Gervais. A
Speaker 2: lot of people like, you know, he's being canceled off
Speaker 2: the back of his last Netflix special, and this has
Speaker 2: been the similar conversation off this one. The guy is
Speaker 2: not going to be canceled. He's making millions and millions
Speaker 2: and millions and millions of dollars of these Netflix specials.
Speaker 3: No, he's not being canceled. He's going anywhere. He's not
Speaker 3: going anywhere.
Speaker 2: And I think it is very interesting to explore what
Speaker 2: makes us feel uncomfortable when it comes to stand up comedy.
Speaker 2: Where is our own personal lines, what is our own
Speaker 2: personal bias? And why are we okay with some jokes
Speaker 2: that target some minorities rather than others? Why do we
Speaker 2: say okay terminally ill children is where the line stops,
Speaker 2: but his other jokes prior are okay.
Speaker 4: I think that that is actually the most interesting question
Speaker 4: that you post to me, Laura, because Ricky Gervase was
Speaker 4: and I would even go to say he is still
Speaker 4: my favorite comedian. I am a huge fan of Ricky Gervase.
Speaker 4: I find him so witty and very clever about how
Speaker 4: he dances the line of controversy. I was really disappointed
Speaker 4: when I heard this, because I truly did actually think
Speaker 4: that Ricky was a little bit more self aware than this.
Speaker 4: I thought that he was, you know, the topics of
Speaker 4: his jokes, Yes, they are controversial topics, but they have
Speaker 4: not thought of him as a problematic person. He makes
Speaker 4: jokes about a lot of religious content. He's quite a
Speaker 4: staunch atheist. And it was actually me unpacking why I
Speaker 4: was okay with certain jokes, but why I felt so
Speaker 4: disappointed about this particular one. And there are a couple
Speaker 4: of different reasons. One of them is that I think
Speaker 4: children in general are the most vulnerable of groups. They
Speaker 4: have no right of replied wild the whole like terminally
Speaker 4: ill thing. To me, I was just a bit like, Ricky,
Speaker 4: why do you need to go to these depths? Like
Speaker 4: your comedy about political issues is very interesting to me
Speaker 4: because I think it shows you a side of things
Speaker 4: that you either haven't thought about before, a viewpoint of
Speaker 4: something that you haven't been exposed to. But this is
Speaker 4: something that I'm like, there is no point to these jokes.
Speaker 4: There's nothing that we're gaining from this other than the
Speaker 4: fact that like you are involved with make a Wish, which, yeah,
Speaker 4: I think that's why I felt disappointed.
Speaker 2: I guess the only thing and I agree with you,
Speaker 2: and I don't want anyone to interpret this is me
Speaker 2: saying that I think the jokes are funny, or that
Speaker 2: I think the jokes are okay. But I do think
Speaker 2: that his context that he provided afterwards is important. And
Speaker 2: the reason why I say that is not because it's
Speaker 2: about I don't actually think it's about the joke. I
Speaker 2: think he's making a statement about comedy and saying you
Speaker 2: can say whatever you want, but you need to know
Speaker 2: the people on stage here are providing a service, creating comedy,
Speaker 2: and so if that makes you feel uncomfortable, that makes
Speaker 2: you laugh, if that gives you a reaction, we all
Speaker 2: need to appreciate that comedians who are on stage are
Speaker 2: doing a job. Because when I first read those jokes
Speaker 2: about calling you know, and I don't want to repeat
Speaker 2: the word, but like calling a terminally ill child something
Speaker 2: that is incredibly abless, and I read it written down,
Speaker 2: I was like, that is fucked.
Speaker 3: That is so sick. And then when I.
Speaker 2: Watched it within the context of him trying to make
Speaker 2: a statement about humor, I was like, oh, yeah, the
Speaker 2: joke still doesn't land, but it is an interesting unpack
Speaker 2: around how we all feel about comedy as a whole.
Speaker 1: But it's like when somebody says I mean, what you're
Speaker 1: saying is, and what you're saying he's saying is. It's
Speaker 1: like when someone says no offense and then says something
Speaker 1: really offensive, it doesn't make it okay because they prefaced
Speaker 1: it with no offense. I don't think his jokes are
Speaker 1: okay because he ends them with but it's a joke.
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, And I don't think he's saying
Speaker 2: but it's a joke. And I don't think he's saying, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, no offense but which we had a very
Speaker 2: funny conversation about that on Tuesday. I actually think he
Speaker 2: is making a political statement. I think he is making
Speaker 2: a statement about comedy as a whole. So he has
Speaker 2: almost purposely chosen the most controversial thing to make that
Speaker 2: statement from.
Speaker 3: See.
Speaker 4: I don't think I agree with his statement. I don't
Speaker 4: like the comparison between an actor and a comedian, because
Speaker 4: a committean actually formulates their own productions, so they're the
Speaker 4: ones who are the creative behind it, Whereas an actor
Speaker 4: is following a script and it's make believe, it's not real,
Speaker 4: Whereas comedy plays off of that line between things that
Speaker 4: are very real in our society, and that's why I've
Speaker 4: enjoyed his comedy so much up until this one thing
Speaker 4: that to me, it doesn't seem to fit the mold
Speaker 4: of what I had created. Who Ricky was in my brain,
Speaker 4: and I understand that that's my own fault, but I
Speaker 4: also put him on a pedestal.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 4: Unpacking why I felt so differently about this made me
Speaker 4: realize that we all have such a line in the
Speaker 4: sand that we draw from. We all have biases that
Speaker 4: contribute to that. I've spoken a lot about on the
Speaker 4: podcast how I grew up very religious organization and I
Speaker 4: am not a part of that organization. Now I find
Speaker 4: his comedy surrounding atheism hilarious. I am realizing that that's
Speaker 4: because my views align with his, Like I align with
Speaker 4: the way that he sees the world, and that's why
Speaker 4: I find the stuff that he says so funny. There
Speaker 4: are so many people that would be like, that's not funny.
Speaker 4: That's highly offensive to me, and I completely disagree with
Speaker 4: what you're saying and therefore the jokes that you're making
Speaker 4: about it. And so I think I'm realizing that the
Speaker 4: line in the sand for me.
Speaker 3: Is sick kids.
Speaker 2: It's sick kids totally and I think it is for
Speaker 2: ninety nine point nine percent of people in the world
Speaker 2: like this, there is absolutely there is a line.
Speaker 4: But I think I'm also realizing that I have to
Speaker 4: acknowledge why that's the case, and I have to acknowledge
Speaker 4: the reason I don't feel fired up about, you know,
Speaker 4: the jokes he made about Caitlin Jenner at the Golden
Speaker 4: Globes and that kind of thing is potentially because I
Speaker 4: don't have lived experience in that area. Like so, there
Speaker 4: are people who are going to draw the line in
Speaker 4: the sand in different places, and I guess I'm having
Speaker 4: a little bit more compassion potentially for the people where
Speaker 4: I've kind of disregarded the fact that that might be
Speaker 4: highly offensive to them. And I mean, it's weird that
Speaker 4: this is where I draw the line because I'm not
Speaker 4: a parent, I don't have a terminally ill child in
Speaker 4: my life.
Speaker 1: Because it's an unspoken rule, and it should be the
Speaker 1: unspoken rule generally for most of the population. It is
Speaker 1: you do not attack the most vulnerable of our society,
Speaker 1: which is a child. And it's not only a child,
Speaker 1: it is a dying child. On top of that, it
Speaker 1: is not just a dying child, but you've linked that
Speaker 1: to a disability as well, Like for me, there is
Speaker 1: nothing lower, and I let a lot of humor go.
Speaker 1: Like I think a lot of things are funny that
Speaker 1: people won't. I laugh at a lot of stuff in
Speaker 1: life that I shouldn't laugh at. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: my god, I hope no one ever seen me.
Speaker 3: Laugh at that.
Speaker 1: Because comedians do what comedians do best, and they walk
Speaker 1: the line and that is what makes people want to
Speaker 1: go and see them because they're like, I can't believe
Speaker 1: they said that, Like it's funny, but I know I
Speaker 1: shouldn't be laughing. I'm all for that, but this, for
Speaker 1: me is something that you just don't touch. And I
Speaker 1: think back a lot when we had Ursula Carlson on.
Speaker 1: She's an amazing comedian that's living in New Zealand. She's
Speaker 1: on a lot of our TV here in Australia. We
Speaker 1: had a great episode with her, but anyone wants to
Speaker 1: listen to it. But she made a really good point
Speaker 1: of like you are in control exactly like you said, Kisha,
Speaker 1: like they're writing their room material. There is so much
Speaker 1: in the world you can laugh at. You do not
Speaker 1: have to shit all over and hit down to people
Speaker 1: like that, those extreme minorities and the vulnerable.
Speaker 3: I do agree totally.
Speaker 2: And there's a couple of things I took from that
Speaker 2: chat that we do with Ursula Carlson, which go back
Speaker 2: and like Britz said, listen to the episode because she's
Speaker 2: absolutely brilliant. But Ricky Jervaise, he is a white, very successful,
Speaker 2: privileged man who is in his like well he's sixty
Speaker 2: now right in the six Days in his comedy that
Speaker 2: he is a straight white man who is a millionaire.
Speaker 4: No no, he says multi multi millionaires.
Speaker 2: So we have this conversation that comes up all the
Speaker 2: time around comedy, which is the punch down. You can't
Speaker 2: punch down, you can only punch up no one for
Speaker 2: him to punch up on. He's the top of the
Speaker 2: food chain. But like, what does comedy look like for
Speaker 2: a And I'm not saying this because I think.
Speaker 3: Sorry for them.
Speaker 2: I could not give a flying fuck to be totally honest,
Speaker 2: I'm not like, think of the middle aged white man.
Speaker 3: That's not where I'm getting to.
Speaker 2: So what I mean is is where do these people?
Speaker 2: Where do they make comedy? What do they make comedy about?
Speaker 2: Because they're only ever going to punch down people who
Speaker 2: are from minorities. So, for example, I also think of
Speaker 2: Michael Hing, who is brilliant. We had him in our
Speaker 2: live show. I love him. He is funny and witty
Speaker 2: and his humor is highly intelligent. But he also talks
Speaker 2: about being Chinese, and he talks about what that experience
Speaker 2: is like for him living in a world that is,
Speaker 2: you know, in Australia that is very, very racist. He
Speaker 2: can punch up on so many different conversations because he
Speaker 2: comes from a minority. If you are gay. Within comedy,
Speaker 2: there's so much material. I just think there's interesting rules
Speaker 2: that seem to surround how comedy can play out. And
Speaker 2: I think that at this point in time, the only
Speaker 2: thing that Ricky Gervais as a specific comedian plays with
Speaker 2: is controversy. It gets him so much pr It is
Speaker 2: such a machine that feeds the machine. His last Netflix special, Supernatural,
Speaker 2: garnered so much publicity off the back of his most
Speaker 2: controversial jokes, and he's obviously seen that this is a
Speaker 2: technique and a tool to make sure that this new
Speaker 2: Netflix series which is coming out soon, gets just as
Speaker 2: much attention.
Speaker 3: It's not a new thing he's discovered.
Speaker 1: We know that outrage culture is what gets the most clicks,
Speaker 1: totally hids, and the most shares, and the most people
Speaker 1: speaking about it, the most eyes, the most voices like
Speaker 1: this is not news.
Speaker 4: Can I just go back to what you were saying
Speaker 4: about the whole like punching up, punching down, punching across thing.
Speaker 4: Though Ricky doesn't have many choices in terms of punching up,
Speaker 4: like he openly states, he's a very privileged person.
Speaker 3: But I think it's really interesting.
Speaker 4: To see how he almost safeguards himself by self identifying
Speaker 4: as privileged. And I think he's done the exact same
Speaker 4: thing with this joke. He's trying to safeguard himself from
Speaker 4: criticism because he's like, guys, I don't actually feel this
Speaker 4: way totally. I make a wish like when you identify
Speaker 4: as something, someone can't use it as a weapon to
Speaker 4: use against you. And I don't like the fact that
Speaker 4: he's using this to me. It just seems like a
Speaker 4: little bit of a weak lack of accountability. I can
Speaker 4: make jokes about sick kids, I can make really ablest
Speaker 4: jokes and use words that shouldn't be used anymore. You
Speaker 4: can't tell me that you actually don't feel this way,
Speaker 4: and therefore it's okay to make jokes about it because
Speaker 4: you don't actually feel that way, because there are people
Speaker 4: who do feel that way, and there are people who
Speaker 4: are going to hear it and go, oh, this is
Speaker 4: now a safe space for me to repeat those jokes.
Speaker 4: It's funny. He got a funny response from it, so
Speaker 4: I can say in my life and I can be
Speaker 4: funny too. And like you said, Lois, it's not his
Speaker 4: job to be the fucking moral highlight of everyone's life.
Speaker 4: It's not his job to make us all more virtuous
Speaker 4: and understand political things to a deeper level. But you
Speaker 4: can't just user get out of jail free card.
Speaker 2: I agree, And I also think that the reason why
Speaker 2: we are continuously unpacking stand up comedy more is because
Speaker 2: for so long it is the medium that has had
Speaker 2: that get out of jail free card. It is the
Speaker 2: medium where we have given so many allowances. But people's
Speaker 2: attitudes are changing so quickly, and people are not finding
Speaker 2: the old tropes, the old stereotypes, the things in which
Speaker 2: people would have laughed at ten years ago, twenty years ago,
Speaker 2: fifteen years ago, whatever the amount of time is. People
Speaker 2: are not finding it funny anymore. And that's why we're
Speaker 2: having these conversations, because he can stand up there and
Speaker 2: he can have all the excuses which we've just unpacked.
Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, the outrage comes
Speaker 2: from people who listened to it but didn't laugh in
Speaker 2: the same way that happened with the Matt Rife special
Speaker 2: and just said, this is actually baseless and not funny,
Speaker 2: even with the explanation, it's just not funny.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like we often, if there's ever something that is
Speaker 4: like maybe a little bit on the nose, the kind
Speaker 4: of rule of thumb that we follow is the juice
Speaker 4: worth the squeeze here, because the reality is is that
Speaker 4: people get offended by a lot of things, and a
Speaker 4: lot of the time things that you don't have the
Speaker 4: intent of offending can offend people. Sometimes that might be
Speaker 4: because they have a particular buy in in that field
Speaker 4: and they are particularly sensitive to it, And other times
Speaker 4: you can miss the mark. Is the comedic effect of
Speaker 4: this joke worth the percentage of people who are going
Speaker 4: to be highly offended by it totally? And I think
Speaker 4: in this particular case, he got the balance so fucking wrong.
Speaker 3: I also think.
Speaker 1: It's interesting and I don't know if I completely agree
Speaker 1: with you, but I know the point you're making and
Speaker 1: I understand it. But when you say it's not his job, right,
Speaker 1: he is a comedian, that's his job.
Speaker 3: He still has a ridiculous amount of influence.
Speaker 1: And I still do think there is a level of
Speaker 1: a responsibility when you have four million people alone on Instagram,
Speaker 1: when God knows how many millions of people are tuning
Speaker 1: into your Netflix special, and the job of a comedian
Speaker 1: is to make people laugh, right, like your whole point
Speaker 1: in life is to make someone feel better.
Speaker 3: A bit of escape is I just don't see the point.
Speaker 1: And I do think there is a bit more of
Speaker 1: a responsibility than going for a dying child and for ableism.
Speaker 3: I just don't think you need to.
Speaker 1: And when you say there's not many people he can
Speaker 1: punch up on because he's at the top of the
Speaker 1: food chain, there is a fucking million things you can
Speaker 1: make a joke about. There a million things yourself included,
Speaker 1: anything about your life. I think there are a lot
Speaker 1: of places you can go to with your comedy. I
Speaker 1: don't think you have to go to this low hanging fruit.
Speaker 3: I mean, this all comes back to you.
Speaker 2: There is a very very famous and very good quote
Speaker 2: from Ricky Gervase, and it says people always say that
Speaker 2: you can't joke about anything anymore. The truth is, you
Speaker 2: can joke about whatever the fuck you want to, and
Speaker 2: people will tell you whether they agree with it or not,
Speaker 2: and you have to decide whether you care. It's a
Speaker 2: very good system.
Speaker 4: Really.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, we and so many
Speaker 2: other people have watched this and thought, there is so
Speaker 2: many layers of it that are not appropriate and are
Speaker 2: just not funny anymore in this climate, and maybe never
Speaker 2: ever work funny, But people have changed it. Expectations around
Speaker 2: comedy is changing. And will that hold a light up
Speaker 2: to Ricky Javase? Will he reconsider some of the job
Speaker 2: in the future. Maybe, maybe not, but he's still going
Speaker 2: to make millions of dollars off the back of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, which one of you wants to kick off the
Speaker 1: vibes for this week?
Speaker 3: I am doing. Oh look, it's someone we love.
Speaker 2: It is it's someone we adore, but also it's someone
Speaker 2: who's created a very fucking good album at the moment,
Speaker 2: and I think you all need to go and stop
Speaker 2: what you're doing, go and listen to it. Sam Fisher
Speaker 2: if you came to our live shows, Sam Fisher, he
Speaker 2: was the artist who became a very good friend, but
Speaker 2: also traveled around with us during that period. He had
Speaker 2: his promo launch night for his new album that was
Speaker 2: being released. It's called I Love You, Please Don't Hate Me.
Speaker 2: Britt myself, Keisha, we all went to the album launch night.
Speaker 2: It was incredible, so much so that there's this one
Speaker 2: song on the album which is called you Don't Call
Speaker 2: Me Anymore. And I was in tears because I thought
Speaker 2: it was so beautiful. And I have listened to that
Speaker 2: song on repeat since the album's come out. So last
Speaker 2: week was his album release day. Go and have a
Speaker 2: listen to the album. It is so beautiful. He is
Speaker 2: a nominal songwriter. He has the voice of an angel,
Speaker 2: and all of us have been playing at NonStop, so like,
Speaker 2: just go and have a listen.
Speaker 1: I am loving I Love You, Please Don't Hate Me.
Speaker 1: That's one of the songs, the main one. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: listened to that on repeat.
Speaker 4: My favorite from the album is the one that he
Speaker 4: did with Demi Lovado, I'll call what other people say.
Speaker 4: He talked about it in the episode that he recorded
Speaker 4: with you Guys about how he moved to la and
Speaker 4: he just realized that he was changing and he didn't
Speaker 4: like the changes that he was seeing.
Speaker 2: He's sang that song a lot at the last show
Speaker 2: as well. That was like that became one of the staples.
Speaker 2: That and this City. Ah, we love him. He's so good.
Speaker 2: Go listen to it now, Spotify, Apple Music, wherever you
Speaker 2: listen to your music.
Speaker 3: It's called I Love You, Please Don't Hate Me.
Speaker 1: Okay Mine, guys, You're going to be shocked horror, but
Speaker 1: Mine is a true crime podcast.
Speaker 2: Why everyone, Welcome to our recommendations for the week. It
Speaker 2: is Britney's true crime podcast series.
Speaker 3: People just think I'm a psychopath, you are, but we
Speaker 3: love it.
Speaker 1: I have been into crime since I was a kid,
Speaker 1: which I think is weird and it probably says something
Speaker 1: about me. But anyway, I also would love you guys
Speaker 1: to recommend me true crime stuff.
Speaker 3: If you've a really good true.
Speaker 1: Crime doc o or show or podcast, please because I'm
Speaker 1: so deep in them that I'm almost running out of
Speaker 1: them and I want to hear new ones.
Speaker 4: And can I ask a little favor, Can you send
Speaker 4: them to Brittany directly?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 3: Because we get lots to the life yeah, and the
Speaker 3: Brits director Instagram. Yeah, No, I definitely want to hear them. Okay.
Speaker 1: So this one is called The Garden of Eden and
Speaker 1: it is an Australian series and it's about a fifteen
Speaker 1: year old girl, Eden Westbrook, who was her and her
Speaker 1: family lived down in Tasmania. And long story short, the
Speaker 1: premise is, unfortunately she had had this argument with her family,
Speaker 1: small argument, she had left without her phone and they
Speaker 1: had found her hanging in a tree.
Speaker 3: The next day. Oh my god. It's just awful. But
Speaker 3: it was a.
Speaker 1: Really poor investigation. And the surrounding story is that this
Speaker 1: was not a suicide. That's the way it is led
Speaker 1: to believe. It's been ruled a suicide. But this investigation
Speaker 1: goes on to try and they talk to the family
Speaker 1: a lot. There is a lawyer that gets involved to
Speaker 1: help the family and they're trying to unpack what went
Speaker 1: wrong and it actually starts to lean into police corruption.
Speaker 1: You think of coruption as bribery and things like that.
Speaker 1: There's definitely this sense of like they protect their own
Speaker 1: in this unpacking of this. I really loved it. It
Speaker 1: might not be for everybody. Again, they are the themes.
Speaker 1: It is around a suicide because we don't know if
Speaker 1: it actually was suicide, but that is what they talk
Speaker 1: about heavily. If that's going to trigger you, definitely don't
Speaker 1: watch it. But I'm really into Australian crime at the
Speaker 1: moment because I listen to a lot of American stories,
Speaker 1: but I'm really back home.
Speaker 2: I don't want to watch Australian crime just makes me
Speaker 2: think it can happen here. I like watching crime in
Speaker 2: other countries since I'm like, God, that place is messed up,
Speaker 2: and then I just want to pretend like it doesn't
Speaker 2: happen in our back door anyway.
Speaker 3: Back in our backyard, not in our back door anyway.
Speaker 3: That's your bumhole.
Speaker 1: Crime has happened there for you, Laura, Your buttthole's are
Speaker 1: crime the garden of Eden.
Speaker 3: That's it for this week for me.
Speaker 4: I have one of my more Woo Woo Live laf
Speaker 4: love recommendations, but it has become my entire personality hyper
Speaker 4: fixated as fuck.
Speaker 3: On ice.
Speaker 4: I bought a tub. It's from the Dope. It's like
Speaker 4: this plastic tub. It can fit three hundred and twenty
Speaker 4: liters in it to give you a bit of a
Speaker 4: size idea, and I have been ice bathing.
Speaker 2: Keisha Wen bought silicone ice cube, so she's been just
Speaker 2: dousing herself in ice baths. But You've been like you've
Speaker 2: been doing it. You've been diligent with the ice baths.
Speaker 2: You're on the health train times.
Speaker 4: It's not pseudoscience. There's science one hundred percent. So there
Speaker 4: is a guy called Gary Brecker, his biologist, and I've
Speaker 4: really gotten into him lately. He talks a lot about
Speaker 4: two sides of things, cold shop proteins, the whole vasoconstriction
Speaker 4: that happens, and the cleanup of free radicals in the blood,
Speaker 4: which is more the science side of it what I
Speaker 4: have been doing. So I'm the type of person that
Speaker 4: if I had to go and buy ice from the
Speaker 4: servo every day, probably not gonna happen. Firstly, it's a
Speaker 4: bit expensive if you're doing it every day. But secondly,
Speaker 4: I'm also.
Speaker 3: Just not going to do that.
Speaker 4: So I've got the tub on my balcony at the moment,
Speaker 4: and I went to KMA and I bought ten banana
Speaker 4: loaf silicon trays that you're supposed to bake in, but
Speaker 4: I I've just been freezing water in them every day,
Speaker 4: and so I put the ice in the ice bath.
Speaker 4: It's not quite cold enough. He's supposed to get it
Speaker 4: to ten degrees. Mind's at about twelve at the moment,
Speaker 4: so I'm working on getting it colder. But it's been
Speaker 4: fucking great and I've been feeling amazing. And I'm being
Speaker 4: really careful about my caffeine intake now because I can
Speaker 4: get a bit jittery and feel a bit scatty if
Speaker 4: I have too much. So when I've been getting tired
Speaker 4: in the afternoons, instead of having a coffee, I've been
Speaker 4: dunk of myself in my top.
Speaker 2: You guys might have remember when Kisha was going through
Speaker 2: her like hashtag sleep phase and everything with sleep wrecos
Speaker 2: and now it is hashtag ice bath phase, and that's
Speaker 2: where we're in.
Speaker 3: We're deep in it, Team ice Bath. Love them, actually
Speaker 3: love them, so I'm loving them.
Speaker 4: So that is my recommendation, whether it be that you
Speaker 4: actually do an ice bath or that you go and
Speaker 4: purchase one for yourself and have them at home.
Speaker 3: Question number one.
Speaker 1: I am living with my boyfriend's family at the moment
Speaker 1: until our house is ready to move into. I was
Speaker 1: looking after my nephew and niece when I grabbed my
Speaker 1: mother in law's phone to bring up YouTube, which it's
Speaker 1: just something we normally do on the phone. I read
Speaker 1: a message from her boss about the things that he
Speaker 1: wants to do to her sexually and other things that
Speaker 1: I need to erase from my brain. My sister in
Speaker 1: law was with me at the time and also read
Speaker 1: the same messages. She's still married and now we both
Speaker 1: have this information. We haven't confronted her about anything. I
Speaker 1: haven't told my boyfriend either, and I don't feel like
Speaker 1: it's my place to.
Speaker 3: But what do I do? Do I ignore that I ever
Speaker 3: read these messages? Do I take this to the grave?
Speaker 1: Every time I look at her, I think, how could
Speaker 1: you you?
Speaker 2: I what a little pickle dickle? Okay, the big question
Speaker 2: is do you tell your partner because it's his mum, Like,
Speaker 2: more than anything, you're not going to confront your husband's
Speaker 2: mum about it.
Speaker 3: I probably would more than the boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Really, I think, so I actually, fuck, I don't know, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm trying to put myself in this position.
Speaker 2: Okay, Matt's mum is single, so I'm never going to
Speaker 2: be faced with this issue. But if she wasn't single
Speaker 2: and she was still married to Matt's dad and they
Speaker 2: were playing happy households, and then I found messages from
Speaker 2: her boss saying all the things that he wanted to
Speaker 2: do to her. I think I would pretend like I
Speaker 2: hadn't seen it. I don't think I have the emotional
Speaker 2: bandwidth or capacity to insert myself into that drama.
Speaker 3: I don't think I could. I think I would take
Speaker 3: it to the grave.
Speaker 2: The problem is, though he comes out well, the problem is,
Speaker 2: had you just seen it yourself, you could take it
Speaker 2: to the grave. But the sister has seen it as well,
Speaker 2: which means that if you don't say anything, like you
Speaker 2: guys have to get your stories straight right, because if you've.
Speaker 3: Seen it, she's seen it.
Speaker 2: She decides to tell someone in six months time, two
Speaker 2: months time or whatever, your husband's going to be mad
Speaker 2: that you didn't tell him. So now it's this situation
Speaker 2: where you're keeping information when you like you're keeping information
Speaker 2: from the people that you love the most, which is
Speaker 2: your husband.
Speaker 1: Well, I also think there's another layer to it, that
Speaker 1: is just your ability to be around her.
Speaker 3: If you can't look at her, now, how are you
Speaker 3: and you live with that? What are you gonna do it?
Speaker 1: Like, because you immediately dislike someone, right if you know
Speaker 1: that they're betraying their entire family. There is a level
Speaker 1: you could like her as a person and how she
Speaker 1: treats you, but that level of resentment and disgust is
Speaker 1: probably going to be like looming under the surface. So
Speaker 1: then if you're living with her, how do you go
Speaker 1: about if you don't think you can fake that friendship
Speaker 1: shit with her. You can't sit down at dinner with
Speaker 1: the entire family and like laugh at her jokes and
Speaker 1: have that normal relationship. It's going to be an issue
Speaker 1: because then your boyfriend's gonna be like, what the fuck's
Speaker 1: up with my mom?
Speaker 3: Like why why do you get against my mom?
Speaker 2: You know? But this is the thing with cheating, right.
Speaker 2: I know we've spoken about it in different ways before,
Speaker 2: but cheating is so black and white that we instantly
Speaker 2: think someone who could cheat is not the person that
Speaker 2: we thought they were as a person. So, like, you
Speaker 2: find this information out and then in your mind, you're
Speaker 2: like I can't even be around her, Like I feel
Speaker 2: like I can't stand her now because in total, that
Speaker 2: betrayal overshadows everything else about her and who you thought
Speaker 2: she was as a person. I don't know, like honestly
Speaker 2: deeply unpacking this, I think I would probably tell my
Speaker 2: partner that I saw something that seemed inappropriate. I don't
Speaker 2: think I would go into detail around what I saw.
Speaker 2: I think I would just say, look, I might have
Speaker 2: read it wrong, which you know you didn't, but just
Speaker 2: to soften the blow, I might have read it wrong.
Speaker 3: This is something the whole family though. Well.
Speaker 2: Actually, the thing is is, we don't know if this
Speaker 2: is his dad. We don't we know she's still married.
Speaker 2: I think if it was his dad, it would have
Speaker 2: been more explicit, so this could be her second marriage,
Speaker 2: which doesn't necessarily make it any better. The betrayal is
Speaker 2: still there. But it's not like you're going to your
Speaker 2: husband's dad necessarily about it.
Speaker 1: I get that this is probably going to beyond the less
Speaker 1: end of the spectrum or the likelihood of this happening.
Speaker 1: But the reason I'm saying this is because we actually
Speaker 1: had this conversation today with somebody else in real life.
Speaker 1: There could be a chance, like you never know what
Speaker 1: is actually going on in somebody's relationship, there could be
Speaker 1: a chance that this is the real mom and dad.
Speaker 1: They might have been separated for a long time behind
Speaker 1: closed doors, staying together for kids. They might be working
Speaker 1: things out, they might have an agreement. And I say
Speaker 1: that because literally we were just talking to somebody else
Speaker 1: who brought up the fact that her mum and dad
Speaker 1: stayed together for a long time even though they knew
Speaker 1: that her.
Speaker 3: Dad was actually gay.
Speaker 1: He wasn't ready to come out yet and face that
Speaker 1: that were staying together for the kids. There were all
Speaker 1: these other reasons and the kids didn't know that. So
Speaker 1: imagine if that was a similar situation and you saw
Speaker 1: that message, you immediately hate everyone in that you feel
Speaker 1: like you have to keep a secret, but you actually
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on in their relationship. And I
Speaker 1: get that that is again like that is probably less
Speaker 1: likely than the fact that she's just cheating, But you
Speaker 1: just never know what's going on behind closed.
Speaker 2: Door or you don't know if that's like exactly like
Speaker 2: you said, Britt, like that maybe they have an open relationship,
Speaker 2: well they're fine with it all. Maybe their husband knows
Speaker 2: and he just they're not having they've got a sexless marriage.
Speaker 3: There's many many variables, but.
Speaker 2: I think it is important to keep in your head
Speaker 2: that you know just because you've seen this message. And
Speaker 2: just because maybe she is having an affair doesn't mean
Speaker 2: that she's instantly this fucking horrible person that you can't
Speaker 2: even stand to be in the same room with because
Speaker 2: you're feeling a lot of blanks without all the information.
Speaker 2: And I mean, if you don't and you think it's
Speaker 2: going to blow up the family too much by going
Speaker 2: to your husband having the conversation with your husband, if
Speaker 2: you have the confidence too, go and have a conversation
Speaker 2: with her and say, I'm really sorry I saw this.
Speaker 2: It's made me really uncomfortable. I know it's your personal business,
Speaker 2: but I want you to know that I've seen it,
Speaker 2: so I want to be doing She doesn't have to
Speaker 2: respond to you in any positive way, she doesn't have
Speaker 2: to tell you anything.
Speaker 3: She might kick you out.
Speaker 2: She might kick you out, but it also might mean
Speaker 2: that things come to the surface naturally, or she might
Speaker 2: give you the explanation around that it is or isn't okay.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but like maybe that will put your
Speaker 2: mind more at ease, but that will be a really
Speaker 2: challenging conversation to have. And I think personally, and I
Speaker 2: often come back to this with myself whenever there's these
Speaker 2: really tricky situations. Sometimes I just think I can't do it.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's just bliss. I don't think I
Speaker 2: could do it the drama. I think, honestly now at
Speaker 2: this point in my life, if I came across something
Speaker 2: like this, I think I would just ignore it and
Speaker 2: wait for them to all figure it out themselves.
Speaker 1: Well, if I reverse engineer this, if this was Ben
Speaker 1: that had seen this with my parents. My parents been
Speaker 1: married for forty five years, right, it's so in love,
Speaker 1: they're amazing. But if Ben had seen that on one
Speaker 1: of my parents, controversially, I would not want to know.
Speaker 1: Don't tell me, let me live in my bubble of
Speaker 1: happy family. That's what I genuinely think. I don't know
Speaker 1: because I've just tried to put myself in both of
Speaker 1: those situations, and the better option for me is not knowing.
Speaker 2: Because, Okay, I put it this way, if Ben then
Speaker 2: came and told you, you then have to do something
Speaker 2: with that information. He is like trauma dumping that feeling
Speaker 2: that he has a situation he has no control over,
Speaker 2: a situation that he can't change the outcome from, and
Speaker 2: he's dumping that trauma on you. And then that means
Speaker 2: that you have to then go and confront your mom
Speaker 2: or tell your dad, like the trauma of ripping apart
Speaker 2: quote unquote, the family then lies on you to be
Speaker 2: the vigil ante. So I think, genuinely, if this was
Speaker 2: me and I know we came full circle, originally I
Speaker 2: was like, maybe go and speak to your partner about it.
Speaker 2: I genuinely think full circle would be speak to the
Speaker 2: mum or just die with the information, because it's probably
Speaker 2: going to come out at some point in the future anyway,
Speaker 2: and if it doesn't, like at least it didn't come
Speaker 2: from you, Oh, that's so awes.
Speaker 1: It is, because then I know we're wrapping this question,
Speaker 1: but I just keep putting myself back in it. I
Speaker 1: want to be so open with my partner that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to keep that secret. I would want to
Speaker 1: know that I have this reciprocal relationship where you can
Speaker 1: be so honest with each other.
Speaker 3: So this you almost have.
Speaker 1: On one hand, there's a responsibility that you feel like
Speaker 1: you need to do the right thing by your partner,
Speaker 1: but on the second hand, it's also just giving you
Speaker 1: responsibility to someone else. So it's a double edged sword.
Speaker 1: Fucking move out just move out.
Speaker 2: Just move out, Just go and live somewhere else, move
Speaker 2: to a hotel, faint as some sort of like I
Speaker 2: don't know whatever it is, but it's gonna be hard
Speaker 2: for you to be in the same room as her
Speaker 2: if you actually feel like you don't respect her anymore.
Speaker 3: Also, this is going to come out itself.
Speaker 1: If she's got these messages popping up on our ipadner
Speaker 1: YouTube and when the like this, this is not going
Speaker 1: to say a secret for very long.
Speaker 3: Totally, she's obviously technology challenged.
Speaker 2: But also it kind of makes me think like maybe
Speaker 2: she's not trying to keep it that much of a secret.
Speaker 2: Like if you've just picked up a phone, open YouTube
Speaker 2: and the messages are.
Speaker 3: All there, she's not trying hard at all. No, it
Speaker 3: popped down, It popped on when they had.
Speaker 1: The It was inconvenient timing right right anyway.
Speaker 2: But if you're cheating, you're not letting people just play
Speaker 2: and watch YouTube on your phone and you don't have
Speaker 2: it under your boss's name either. I am not jealous
Speaker 2: of you with this. I think you just need to
Speaker 2: move out, same move out. I agree, all right. Question
Speaker 2: number two. My partner and I have been dating for
Speaker 2: seven months. We took one month away and came back
Speaker 2: together stronger than ever. We spend five to six days
Speaker 2: a week together. We've introduced entire families together and friends. Basically,
Speaker 2: they've like merged their friendship groups and their families. You know,
Speaker 2: have plans to move in together and travel Europe. In
Speaker 2: February March of twenty twenty four, two weeks ago, he
Speaker 2: dropped on me that he'd be traveling Sri Lanka with
Speaker 2: his sister from Boxing Day until the fourteenth of January.
Speaker 2: I cried when he told me he was going, and
Speaker 2: I blew up when he booked the following day. This
Speaker 2: leaves me a pharmacist working on call at a metro
Speaker 2: hospital alone over Christmas, New Year, and the New Year period.
Speaker 2: He thinks I'm being unreasonable and can't see that I'm
Speaker 2: left feeling abandoned. His sister is in her mid twenties
Speaker 2: and has never been in a relationship. My partner is
Speaker 2: in his early thirties. I'm a single child. Do I
Speaker 2: just not get it? Or should my partner be spending
Speaker 2: time with me over this period since I can't visit
Speaker 2: my friends or family who live interstate due to work.
Speaker 2: He is also traveling Malaysia, a place we both wanted
Speaker 2: to visit solo for four days. I feel like this
Speaker 2: has left a bitter taste, especially around Exmas time in
Speaker 2: New Year. Can you end a relationship over a holiday
Speaker 2: or should I just work through this.
Speaker 3: We haven't discussed this yet, Laura.
Speaker 1: This is the first time I'm hearing it, But I
Speaker 1: feel like we're going to have different opinions. I just
Speaker 1: feel like I know you, so I feel like we're
Speaker 1: going to go down different people.
Speaker 3: No, I think you think I'm going to say something
Speaker 3: that I'm not going to say.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I genuinely think and you might not want
Speaker 1: to hear this to the listener, but you currently don't
Speaker 1: have the ability. I don't think you ever maybe when
Speaker 1: you're married with kids, but at seven months, you don't
Speaker 1: have the ability to tell your partner what he can
Speaker 1: and can't do. And if he wants to go on
Speaker 1: a trip with his sister at Christmas, you one hundred
Speaker 1: percent can feel disappointed and upset by that, and you
Speaker 1: can miss him, but you cannot blow up at him
Speaker 1: and tell him he cannot go. Like total, He's gonna
Speaker 1: push him further and further away, especially when you're going
Speaker 1: away with him for two months in a couple of months,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go and spend that time together. Anyway, it's
Speaker 1: gonna leave. I know you've said it. It's left a
Speaker 1: bad taste in your mouth. It's gonna leave a worse
Speaker 1: taste in his mouth. M That's what I feel like.
Speaker 1: He's made a choice. He's obviously close with his sister.
Speaker 1: He knows he's going away with you in a couple
Speaker 1: of months. You've only been together seven months, you don't
Speaker 1: have kids, You are already working, so you're already on
Speaker 1: call anyway. So there's gonna be big chunks of time
Speaker 1: that he's just going to be at home. Obviously he's
Speaker 1: not gonna be there at nighttime, but you're on call
Speaker 1: for that as well. I think in this case, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: you've gone about it the wrong way and you've bitten
Speaker 1: off way more than you can chew.
Speaker 3: That's the wrong analogy.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: I she has too much to work on her she's over.
Speaker 3: It's a hustile culture. It's a wrongan alogy. I no,
Speaker 3: but I'm yeah.
Speaker 2: Look, I mean often Britain I have disagreements when it
Speaker 2: comes to travel and when it comes to when you're
Speaker 2: in a committed relationship, you make big life decisions together.
Speaker 2: I do believe that you make big life decisions together.
Speaker 2: I do believe that there are times of the year
Speaker 2: that are more important than other times of the year.
Speaker 2: The problem that I have with this is one seven
Speaker 2: months is not you know, haven't been in this relationship
Speaker 2: for a really long time, and I guess I think
Speaker 2: that there's probably more to the story in terms of
Speaker 2: does he have any specific times that he's able to
Speaker 2: travel because of his work. I know you guys have
Speaker 2: taken these two months later on off in the year,
Speaker 2: but does he have like forced leave at this time
Speaker 2: over Christmas? Which he's not on holidays, so therefore he
Speaker 2: is able to go and do something, and he doesn't
Speaker 2: want to just sit around while you're on call as
Speaker 2: a pharmacist, like you said, Britain means that you will
Speaker 2: very much and very likely be called into the hospital
Speaker 2: at any time. So I understand why he wants to
Speaker 2: fill his holiday time with doing something fun with someone
Speaker 2: who he loves.
Speaker 3: His sister.
Speaker 2: Now, I think the thing is is like he probably
Speaker 2: could have approached it in a more tactful way. He
Speaker 2: probably could have had more of a conversation with you
Speaker 2: about it, so you didn't feel so blindsided by it.
Speaker 2: I think that that's probably the thing. You felt blindsided
Speaker 2: because it came out of nowhere when he said he
Speaker 2: wanted to do it, and then you expressed you weren't happy,
Speaker 2: and he went ahead and booked it anyway, which absolutely
Speaker 2: sent you. But I guess ultimately it does come back
Speaker 2: to this idea that like, if you're in a relationship
Speaker 2: with someone and they want to do something and you
Speaker 2: say no, then they have to weigh up the pros
Speaker 2: and cons as to whether their want is justifiable or
Speaker 2: reasonable as well, because it sounds like you guys weren't
Speaker 2: ever going to come to a mutual decision on this.
Speaker 2: It sounds like it was your way or his way,
Speaker 2: and they were the only two ways. And I don't
Speaker 2: think that that's a fair thing either. I do understand, though,
Speaker 2: why you feel upset. I would feel upset too. If
Speaker 2: my partner was going away at Christmas time and I
Speaker 2: wasn't able to join him. Would I break up with him?
Speaker 2: Would I feel so betrayed that I wouldn't want to
Speaker 2: be with him anymore? No, I don't think I would
Speaker 2: feel that level of extreme, especially when you say, like
Speaker 2: the rest of your relationship has been incredible, and you
Speaker 2: know your families love each other, you guys are moving
Speaker 2: in together. I do just think that this is a
Speaker 2: decision he's made which might feel a little bit selfish,
Speaker 2: but he's you know, you guys are young, and he
Speaker 2: wants to experience the world and still do stuff, but
Speaker 2: it looks like and sounds like he wants to do
Speaker 2: it with you as well. Well.
Speaker 1: The other thing is to if you really break this down,
Speaker 1: you have said is really selfish, you know, really upsetting
Speaker 1: to you that he has gone away and left you
Speaker 1: on your own because you can't go to see your
Speaker 1: friends and family because you're working. But what you're saying
Speaker 1: is I also won't be at home with you. I
Speaker 1: will be working, but you don't want to wait there
Speaker 1: for me for those moments that I might not be
Speaker 1: on corner might come home. So you're also asking him
Speaker 1: to give up his family, who's his sister who's traveling
Speaker 1: with so that he can wait at home for you,
Speaker 1: which totally you can't do that. And the other thing
Speaker 1: is you've said, you know his sister. I can't quite
Speaker 1: work out why this piece of information is critical. His
Speaker 1: sister is mid twenties and never been in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I don't get that part, but maybe though I do.
Speaker 2: What she's trying to say is jastan is that she yeah,
Speaker 2: that she doesn't understand why she's so upset. That there's
Speaker 2: like a mismatch in terms of like you know that
Speaker 2: when you're in a relationship, you consider each other at
Speaker 2: most big decisions that are being made, that those decisions
Speaker 2: are made together, not with the sister.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe the brother is actually taking that into consideration.
Speaker 1: My sister doesn't have anyone to travel with, and I'm
Speaker 1: close with my sister, like I have got on so
Speaker 1: many trips with my brother. My sister has gone on
Speaker 1: so many trips with my brother, like as a family,
Speaker 1: we do little independent trips together too. I'm talking overseas trips.
Speaker 1: I feel like this has made worse simply because you don't,
Speaker 1: unfortunately have family around you. If your family were into
Speaker 1: state and you knew you could go to work and
Speaker 1: come home and that'd be there, I think it'd be different. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: you do feel really alone, which I think you just
Speaker 1: need to explain to him.
Speaker 3: You can't get angry.
Speaker 1: I don't think and you can't let him not go,
Speaker 1: and I don't think it's worth breaking up, but just
Speaker 1: make sure he understands that you really are upset and disappointed,
Speaker 1: and maybe just say hey, can you call me every day?
Speaker 1: They still have that connection, but this is unfortunately completely
Speaker 1: his prerogative.
Speaker 3: I understand, and I agree with you.
Speaker 2: I don't want to completely dismiss this, though, because if
Speaker 2: this happened to me, you'd devo.
Speaker 3: I'd be so sad. I would be so sad.
Speaker 2: I would feel probably slightly annoyed that his want to
Speaker 2: go and enjoy himself was more important than us. And
Speaker 2: in terms of like me being alone over that time,
Speaker 2: Like there's a little bit of selfishness there where it's like, well,
Speaker 2: you have two decisions here. One you can spend the
Speaker 2: time that you can with me and we can have
Speaker 2: Christmas together, or two you go and have a great
Speaker 2: time on holidays.
Speaker 3: I know which one is going to be better.
Speaker 2: But that's still a bad pill, Like it's an awful
Speaker 2: pill to swallow when you're not don't feel like the
Speaker 2: priority in your relationship. But I guess the big thing
Speaker 2: is that you are expecting him to sit around while
Speaker 2: you're on call, you're expecting him to kind of like
Speaker 2: make his life available to your work schedule. And I
Speaker 2: do also think like it's kind of nice.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe there's some fear about him traveling with his sister
Speaker 2: who's younger. Maybe there's you know, Chris, it's a girl,
Speaker 2: she's in her young twenties. Maybe there's some like insecurities
Speaker 2: around that. But it also is kind of cool that
Speaker 2: he is travel from like a protection position as well,
Speaker 2: like that they're able to do stuff together, they can
Speaker 2: travel together.
Speaker 3: Maybe she doesn't, like you said, Britt, have people to
Speaker 3: travel with. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just think it's three weeks of your entire potential relationship,
Speaker 2: and I don't think you have to throw it completely
Speaker 2: out the window. If he isn't considerate when he's traveling,
Speaker 2: if he's not calling you, if he's not checking in,
Speaker 2: if he's behaving in a way that makes him appear
Speaker 2: like he's single, they're all way bigger issues. They're all
Speaker 2: completely different things to unpack. But what do you think
Speaker 2: of the one though? There's one part of this question
Speaker 2: where she says, we've been talking about going to Malaysia
Speaker 2: and he's going to go now by himself for four days.
Speaker 1: Again, I don't think that's a big deal at all.
Speaker 1: Four days is you're not even touching the surface. It's
Speaker 1: obviously just he's not doing it so that he never
Speaker 1: has to go back with you. He's doing it because
Speaker 1: obviously it makes sense with his trip what he's doing.
Speaker 1: He's got four extra days. He's making the most of it.
Speaker 1: You guys can still go to Malaysia. I'm sure you've
Speaker 1: been together seven months. I'm sure there's still every country
Speaker 1: in the entire world that you haven't gone to together.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine you've done that much traveling together in
Speaker 1: the last seven months. But the other thing that I've
Speaker 1: just realized is you've said that he's going away on
Speaker 1: Boxing Day, so he is with you for Christmas, He's
Speaker 1: with you for Christmas, and then he's going away the
Speaker 1: next day, and then he's going away for New Years.
Speaker 1: Your final question is can you end a relationship over
Speaker 1: this holiday or should you work through it? If you
Speaker 1: want to end your relationship over this, I think there's
Speaker 1: more issues at hand, because for me, if everything else
Speaker 1: is amazing, this is not a reason to break up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll look, seven months.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be ending my relationship over this one fight.
Speaker 2: And I think it can feel sometimes you can be
Speaker 2: in a fight and you can be in the thick
Speaker 2: of it, and when you don't get your way, it
Speaker 2: feels like, well, I'm going to leave you know. That
Speaker 2: seems like the ultimate ultimatum, right because you didn't get
Speaker 2: what you wanted out of the argument. Sometimes we just
Speaker 2: don't get what we want in disagreements, especially when it
Speaker 2: comes down to taking agency and choice away from the
Speaker 2: other person. Like you know, they have the ability to
Speaker 2: make a decision, and if that's not what we want,
Speaker 2: we either have to accept it and move on from it,
Speaker 2: or we have to decide that we don't want to
Speaker 2: be in the relationship in this instance. I think that
Speaker 2: that's drastic. The only thing I want to add to this, though,
Speaker 2: is that if this becomes a pattern, if he constantly
Speaker 2: books trips away and doesn't consider you, if he often
Speaker 2: leaves you alone, with you feeling abandoned, without you feeling
Speaker 2: like you were considered, without you feeling like you had
Speaker 2: mutual plans together, when you're in a long term relationship,
Speaker 2: I would say that the second time this happens it's
Speaker 2: a bit more of a red flag. What I mean
Speaker 2: by that is that if it's coming into something special,
Speaker 2: If you guys have talked about doing stuff together and
Speaker 2: he's like, oh, I'm going away for three weeks in
Speaker 2: two days. It's not that he's not allowed to do
Speaker 2: that in the future, of course he years. But if
Speaker 2: it becomes a pattern and you feel disrespected and you
Speaker 2: feel like you can't plan things because all of a
Speaker 2: sudden he could be here or not be here, then
Speaker 2: that I would say is a big red flag. And
Speaker 2: then I would be like, cool, you're not caring about
Speaker 2: my feelings. Yeah, absolutely, every time you leave I feel
Speaker 2: abandoned and you're not caring about that.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: Question number three, And this is also an a fairy one,
Speaker 2: because you know, I'm not a.
Speaker 3: Very well affair and afairious. It's a nad I was
Speaker 3: just about to say that an afarious affair. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: well that the same person. It's been too much yet
Speaker 3: out of my brain.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 2: I have a friend who's been having an fair for
Speaker 2: a few years now. The guy is a lot older
Speaker 2: than her, and one of the reasons they aren't together
Speaker 2: is because she wants to have kids. She is now
Speaker 2: engaged to her partner that she has been cheating on
Speaker 2: four years, and I am invited to the wedding next year.
Speaker 2: I don't know how to respond or how to have
Speaker 2: the conversation to see if this marriage is actually even
Speaker 2: something that she really wants. She has said she is
Speaker 2: in love with the other man but also still loves
Speaker 2: her fiance at the same time. Do I say something
Speaker 2: to her or do I just turn up at the
Speaker 2: wedding and have a good time. I feel very mixed,
Speaker 2: as you bloody shout.
Speaker 1: I could not still be friends with somebody that had
Speaker 1: been cheating on their partner that they are marrying four years.
Speaker 1: This isn't a one off. You have created a whole
Speaker 1: nother life with someone I know.
Speaker 2: Yes she is, yes, yes, but that is not We're
Speaker 2: not judging her for her friendship.
Speaker 3: I am so if you. We're not judging her for
Speaker 3: her friendship.
Speaker 1: But the other part of this is, if I can
Speaker 1: only imagine speculating, if you are that good of friends
Speaker 1: with her to go to the wedding and you know
Speaker 1: this much about them, then I'm assuming you're also that
Speaker 1: good of friends with her fiance who she's cheating on.
Speaker 3: That puts you in a bloody tricky situation because so
Speaker 3: carrious predicament.
Speaker 1: Totally do I think I could go to that wedding
Speaker 1: knowing that she had been cheating on him for their
Speaker 1: entire relationship and that she loves someone else. She's declaring
Speaker 1: her love to him and she loves someone else and
Speaker 1: wishes she was someone No, I couldn't go.
Speaker 3: I could not go because I'd be the person. It's
Speaker 3: like any objections, I'd be like, yes.
Speaker 1: I would feel such a level of betrayal. And I
Speaker 1: feel like when you're celebrating love and a wedding.
Speaker 2: Oh, you'd be like this is such a mockery, Like
Speaker 2: this is such a joke wedding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like why are you marrying? Why you know you
Speaker 1: love somebody else? Your heart is not in this. I
Speaker 1: just I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 2: And also when she's standing up there and she's saying
Speaker 2: her vows, you'll be like, you know, quietly vomitable.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: My big thing here is is though, I think if
Speaker 2: this is your friend, it's someone who you love. And
Speaker 2: like I know we said it earlier about the whole
Speaker 2: like people having an affair doesn't make you black and
Speaker 2: white a bad person. In total, it's a really terrible,
Speaker 2: awful thing to do to someone. It's an incredibly selfish
Speaker 2: thing to do to someone, and I think we often
Speaker 2: can if we're the people who are doing it. You
Speaker 2: can justify the reasons. You can justify the betrayal, and
Speaker 2: it's selfish one hundred percent. My thing and my suggestion
Speaker 2: would be go and speak to your friend, because it
Speaker 2: sounds like you haven't had a good conversation with her
Speaker 2: at all since she's gotten engaged. You know that she's
Speaker 2: been having this affair, but maybe it hasn't been communicated
Speaker 2: for a while. Maybe you haven't had conversations about where
Speaker 2: it's at, what has been happening. It doesn't sound like
Speaker 2: the question is whether or not you should tell the fiance.
Speaker 2: It's not whether you want to insert yourself. It's simply
Speaker 2: whether your friend wants to actually marry this guy or
Speaker 2: you should go to the wedding.
Speaker 3: So I think, do I say something to her? Yeah?
Speaker 2: So I think the thing is you sit down with
Speaker 2: her and have an honest conversation and say, like, it
Speaker 2: is really hard as someone who loves you to support
Speaker 2: you at the moment because of the choices that you're making,
Speaker 2: and it is also going to be and is damaging
Speaker 2: on relationship and my ability to support you as a
Speaker 2: friend to one be at your wedding to pretend like
Speaker 2: I'm happy for you when I know that this is
Speaker 2: not you living your most authentic self, like you are
Speaker 2: lying to yourself about what you want in life. And
Speaker 2: so I think, like you have to have some very
Speaker 2: very honest conversations with your friend because there are obviously
Speaker 2: way bigger things here at play. And like you said, Britt,
Speaker 2: when you say I couldn't be friends with someone who
Speaker 2: would do this, maybe if she sits down and has
Speaker 2: a really, really genuine conversation with her, she might come
Speaker 2: to the realization that she can't be friends with someone
Speaker 2: who is living like this because it's such a burden
Speaker 2: to keep these secrets. And also, not only is it
Speaker 2: a burden on you, but you don't want your friend
Speaker 2: to live a life that's a lie. It's such an
Speaker 2: unhappy life that she's creating for herself. And I know
Speaker 2: she says like, I'm in love with two people, and
Speaker 2: I think it's possible. I think it's very possible to
Speaker 2: be in love with multiple people at one time.
Speaker 3: You don't have to act on that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And also it's a different thing to be in love
Speaker 2: with two people and they both have all the information.
Speaker 2: That's a very different situation where they're both consenting to
Speaker 2: the relationship that they're in. This poor gui, the fiance,
Speaker 2: he has no understanding of the type of relationship that
Speaker 2: he is actually in, of what he is actually prescribing to,
Speaker 2: and he's going to get married and invest all this time,
Speaker 2: all this money, his best years of his life into
Speaker 2: someone who is not committed to him properly. And it's
Speaker 2: just it's a fucking horrible place to be in. And
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it's your responsibility to go and say
Speaker 2: anything to the fiance. You don't have to insert yourself
Speaker 2: in other people's dramas, but I do think you have
Speaker 2: to have a conversation with your girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Well that's the only thing, right.
Speaker 1: And I know people hate when we say this that
Speaker 1: cheating is not black and white, but it's one thing
Speaker 1: in my eyes to cheat on a partner, right, And
Speaker 1: there could be a multitude or reasons. We know that
Speaker 1: you can work it out, we know that could end it,
Speaker 1: we know that, but it's one thing to cheat it's
Speaker 1: another thing to be cheating and knowingly simultaneously get getting married,
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to be taking that step, because
Speaker 1: that is unfair. Cheating's unfair to your partner anyway, but
Speaker 1: marriage is a completely different kettle of fish. You are
Speaker 1: entering an agreement promising to be the best partner off
Speaker 1: for someone and love them unconditionally and always be there
Speaker 1: for them and always do right for them, and you're
Speaker 1: starting the relationship as a lie.
Speaker 2: I agree with you, and I think it adds an
Speaker 2: entirely different element, like another element of deceit onto this
Speaker 2: because when we think about affairs, and I'm not saying
Speaker 2: this is better, like it's also equally as fucked. But
Speaker 2: when you've been in a long term relationship, often a
Speaker 2: long term marriage, and a fair happens, it's because the
Speaker 2: relationship itself has moved so far away from where it
Speaker 2: once was, like and I'm not saying that that's an
Speaker 2: excuse for it, but I'm saying that often it's you know,
Speaker 2: five years, six years, whatever it is.
Speaker 3: But people who.
Speaker 2: Are having affairs while simultaneously trying to progress the relationship,
Speaker 2: it's another layer of deceit because you're deceiving everyone. You're
Speaker 2: deceiving on the affair level, but you're also deceiving on
Speaker 2: the commitment, on the promise of what you want together
Speaker 2: for your future level.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think like it's very, very, very messed up. I
Speaker 2: definitely wouldn't be going to the wedding because I think
Speaker 2: by going to the wedding and by being there by
Speaker 2: being a guest and just having a good time, you're
Speaker 2: also complicit to it. You're saying, I know, unfair, I know,
Speaker 2: and I don't care enough to care about anyone else's feelings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, even if you just have to say you had
Speaker 1: gashtro that day, tell her say I can't come, you know,
Speaker 1: and let's not make a big deal, but I can
Speaker 1: be sick on the day whatever, but I can't go
Speaker 1: and support the both of you will.
Speaker 2: Save the poor guys some money and just like, don't
Speaker 2: don't do that. So he hasn't had paid for another
Speaker 2: person per head. That is messed up, absolutely messed up.
Speaker 2: If you have a question for Ask on Cut, please
Speaker 2: slide into the DMS. It is Life Uncut podcast. You
Speaker 2: can also join us in the discussion group, which is
Speaker 2: Life Uncut Discussion Group.
Speaker 3: And that's where all the juicy, saucy stuff goes.
Speaker 1: Do you and guys, if you haven't listened to yesterday's
Speaker 1: episode yet for whatever reason, it's an episode that I
Speaker 1: really enjoyed bringing you. And when I say enjoyed, it
Speaker 1: is probably the wrong word, but I was really proud
Speaker 1: to bring a topic like this to light. And the
Speaker 1: reason I say that is it's one of the hardest
Speaker 1: episodes I think we've ever done a life bung cart,
Speaker 1: and it's with a wonderful woman named Nina Olk.
Speaker 3: Nina speaks so openly.
Speaker 1: About her story, which is extremely traumatic, and we do
Speaker 1: want to put that out there. We don't want to
Speaker 1: sugarcoat it. This is a truly horrific story. Nina is
Speaker 1: talking about honor killings and how she in fact is
Speaker 1: a survivor of an attempted on a killing. She speaks
Speaker 1: quite heavily about her being born into a cultural environment
Speaker 1: where she was disadvantaged from the very start, purely because
Speaker 1: she was born a female. She speaks a lot about
Speaker 1: domestic violence and what that life looks for her. She
Speaker 1: speaks about unarranged marriage, which also ended in domestic violence.
Speaker 1: It is truly heartbreaking and truly horrific and extremely hard
Speaker 1: to hear in a lot of parts. But I think
Speaker 1: that that's a part of the reason it's so important
Speaker 1: to talk about is because this is still so prolific.
Speaker 1: The fact that this is still happening. This is still
Speaker 1: happening in st this is still happening in the UK.
Speaker 1: This isn't just something that is so far removed from us.
Speaker 1: And this is why I think it's a really important
Speaker 1: topic to talk about, Because she's doing amazing things with
Speaker 1: her charities and the fact that she relives this story
Speaker 1: over and over again herself in order to help other
Speaker 1: people is what was truly touching.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think at a time where there's been
Speaker 2: a lot of conversations around domestic violence, recently there has
Speaker 2: been an increase in the number of deaths of women
Speaker 2: within Australia, specifically in the last twelve months from the
Speaker 2: year and year average. And to think that the conversation
Speaker 2: around domestic violence is getting so much more airtime, but
Speaker 2: yet it is having zero impact on the number of
Speaker 2: women who are affected is harrowing and horrifying. And I
Speaker 2: truly do think that the only way for us to
Speaker 2: all combat this together is to continue to highlight people's stories.
Speaker 2: I wasn't on the episode. Britt had to do this
Speaker 2: one on her own. It is a heartbreaking story to
Speaker 2: listen to, but it is such a message of resilience
Speaker 2: and a message, a powerful message of overcoming. That is
Speaker 2: it from us and we will be back again on
Speaker 2: Sunday with our pick up episode and yeah you know
Speaker 2: the drill.
Speaker 1: Tell you Mum, to you dad, tell you dog, two friends,
Speaker 1: and share the love because we love love,