Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today.
Speaker 2: This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.
Speaker 2: Hi guys andam welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and I'm really fucking sad. I
Speaker 2: just absolutely axed because I was rushing because I'm so
Speaker 2: late with this record.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was trying to park in that little side street
Speaker 2: around the corner from your house, and I my tire
Speaker 2: literally eat into the gutter like.
Speaker 1: It was gonna reverse me.
Speaker 2: And then I had to drive up the gutter to
Speaker 2: get and I got out and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: let's inspect the damage.
Speaker 3: I'm good.
Speaker 1: It's also that weird thing when you're doing that reverse
Speaker 1: park parallel and you're behind no, but when you start
Speaker 1: to scratch it for some reason, you just really slowly
Speaker 1: keep going. No one stops.
Speaker 3: You're always like You're like it'll stop.
Speaker 1: In a minute. You keep doing it. Why don't we
Speaker 1: stop and go forward? Why don't we continue to.
Speaker 2: Scratch, because look, when you're already that far deep, you
Speaker 2: just got to keep going.
Speaker 1: Did getting your car the other day? The window was
Speaker 1: smashed as well. It is a bit of a smash window.
Speaker 3: Wasn't me that I know my poor car.
Speaker 2: Honestly, some people just shouldn't have nice things or anything
Speaker 2: that's damage.
Speaker 3: It's just I don't know. We'll inspect it when we
Speaker 3: get out.
Speaker 2: But the whole hub cap is like, speaking of cars,
Speaker 2: what we are doing.
Speaker 1: So I had told you guys a little while ago
Speaker 1: that I had this really slow leak in my car
Speaker 1: tire like I had a nail in my time. I
Speaker 1: think it was my suck from weeks and weeks and
Speaker 1: weeks ago, one of those life had been things that
Speaker 1: you just don't want to fix, like you can't be
Speaker 1: bothered because it's not enough that I couldn't drive it.
Speaker 1: But every two days or three days, my tire went
Speaker 1: down enough that the alarm came on and I had
Speaker 1: to go in and pull into a servo and blow
Speaker 1: it up.
Speaker 2: I do remember this, and I do remember distinctly telling
Speaker 2: you at the time that it's super dangerous to drive
Speaker 2: around with a nail just sticking in, even if it's
Speaker 2: plugging the hole.
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't know if it was a nail. I
Speaker 1: didn't eve look at it. I couldn't bothered. I was
Speaker 1: just like I never even looked at what was in there.
Speaker 1: I just knew it was a slow leak. So every
Speaker 1: couple of days for literally I reckon five or six weeks,
Speaker 1: I just pulled into a surface station and pump it
Speaker 1: up anyway, lost not.
Speaker 2: Once in five or six weeks. You do you think
Speaker 2: I might just look at that tire and see what
Speaker 2: was like going.
Speaker 1: I could look at it, doesn't change the fact I
Speaker 1: wasn't going to go take it anywhere I was. It
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna happen, right. I was putting my life on
Speaker 1: hold for a little while because.
Speaker 3: I was just all your life on the line if
Speaker 3: the thing exploded. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Eventually, while someone on radio at the moment, I've
Speaker 1: asked Keisha, I'm paying Keisha to be like a bit
Speaker 1: of a pa the job set, because you know, an
Speaker 1: extra five hours out of my day's gone. So I'm
Speaker 1: getting Keisha produce a Keisha to do some stuff. So
Speaker 1: we swapped cars. One day, I was like, can you
Speaker 1: please take this down the road to the tire place
Speaker 1: for me? Because I'm never going to do it. It
Speaker 1: has to happen and change it. So she took it
Speaker 1: down the road to the tire place and as her
Speaker 1: producer key, so she gets chatting because she could talk
Speaker 1: to a sidewalk. She the girl loves a chat. So
Speaker 1: she's having a chat and the guy's like, you know
Speaker 1: what you do blah blah blah blah, and she's like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm in podcasting. And he goes, oh, this is a man.
Speaker 1: Because I don't know much about podcasting. The only person
Speaker 1: I know all the podcast I know is Britt and
Speaker 1: Laura from Life on Cut. This is a male mechanic.
Speaker 3: And she's like, that's what I do.
Speaker 1: She's like, I work for those guys.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking like a middle age like, you know, forty
Speaker 2: five year old man.
Speaker 3: How are theyish he would have been? Maybe?
Speaker 1: I don't want to aide him up.
Speaker 2: Like I think he owns listening, so I think he
Speaker 2: owned the business.
Speaker 3: Think he would have been like in his forties. Maybe,
Speaker 3: But he.
Speaker 1: Said that his girlfriend listens to the podcast and absolutely
Speaker 1: loved it.
Speaker 2: Do you know what this is her shout out to
Speaker 2: all the boyfriend friends of girlfriends who listened to this podcast.
Speaker 2: And there were also a lot of ex boyfriends as
Speaker 2: in the girlfriend got them onto it, and now they've
Speaker 2: broken up and they still listen.
Speaker 1: Well we call them the boyfriends of life on Cut
Speaker 1: Life of Boyfeuds. Anyway, I said, Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 3: He loves it.
Speaker 1: Did he give it to me for free? She's like, nah,
Speaker 1: he charged. We're still shouting him out.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, do you know I have something I want
Speaker 2: to ask you before we get into answering all your
Speaker 2: deep dark and you're burning questions. This is the dumbest
Speaker 2: thing I think I'll ever ask you. But it came
Speaker 2: up as a debate between Matt and I actually wasn't
Speaker 2: even a debate. So Mac gets out of the shower
Speaker 2: last night, and I thought that this was a parody.
Speaker 2: I thought that this is just something like that was
Speaker 2: like satirically said that men do. He gets out of
Speaker 2: the shower, he gets his towel and he slings it
Speaker 2: between his legs and like rubs between his legs, like
Speaker 2: almost like he's flossing his ball sack.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like when you try and pretend to a sexy dance. No,
Speaker 1: but this was like what.
Speaker 2: This was just a dry dance. This was literally just
Speaker 2: to dry himself. Is this something that men actually do?
Speaker 2: Because I don't think what's a joke. No, I don't
Speaker 2: think any I think people just put the towel. I
Speaker 2: don't think you're sling it between there and go back
Speaker 2: and forth like a shimmy. Yeah, like you're literally I
Speaker 2: think you just use the towel in your hand like
Speaker 2: you normally wouldn't try you all.
Speaker 3: But maybe men do that. Maybe that's the thing that
Speaker 3: guys do.
Speaker 2: Matt was trying to convince me that, like, yeah, girls
Speaker 2: don't do it because it would be uncomfortable, but it's
Speaker 2: something that men do.
Speaker 1: And I was like, really, I've never seen a man
Speaker 1: do that in my life. And you have seen a
Speaker 1: lot of men single ten years. Yeah, I've seen a
Speaker 1: lot of men. I have never seen anyone do that.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a thing. I think that's just
Speaker 1: a maddy ja thing.
Speaker 2: Do you know what else is not a thing? Men
Speaker 2: who stand up to wipe their butts, but they do it.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of men again.
Speaker 1: Made Jay, there's a common denominator Okay, I have This.
Speaker 2: Is a bit of research for you all. If you're
Speaker 2: in a relationship or if you're a man, you can
Speaker 2: just take note of yourself. Do you because girls don't
Speaker 2: do it, we don't need to. But do you stand
Speaker 2: up as a man to wipe your backs? Why does
Speaker 2: he have to see it up to wise? He told
Speaker 2: me that men do.
Speaker 1: But why when you say girls don't have to, but
Speaker 1: men do? What's the difference? It's in the same position.
Speaker 3: A bit junk in the front makes it a bit more.
Speaker 1: We have our own junk, dooye?
Speaker 3: But I don't know. He just said that men stand
Speaker 3: up to wipe their bumbs.
Speaker 1: But if you stand up, your butt cheeks actually close.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you're not standing up right, like completely
Speaker 2: in a full, full vertical position.
Speaker 3: You're like you're crouched. You just crouched up over the toe.
Speaker 1: He hunts up and leans forward. Yeah, he's in a
Speaker 1: forty five degree angole.
Speaker 2: He's like squatting over the toilet.
Speaker 1: Reach around.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, something else I wanted to talk to you about,
Speaker 2: which is a little bit more important and also interesting,
Speaker 2: thank fuck, is it's an article that was written we
Speaker 2: had Jana Hawking on the podcast on Tuesday to talk
Speaker 2: about Childless by Toys, which was the topic that we
Speaker 2: kind of did a deep dive on, but Jane did
Speaker 2: she did an article. She wrote an article recently and
Speaker 2: this was in news dot com, and I wanted to
Speaker 2: get your opinion on this brick because I kind of
Speaker 2: find this concept interesting. The title of the article is
Speaker 2: the real reason women are never happy with a nice
Speaker 2: guy and it's got nothing to do with being nice. Now,
Speaker 2: the sentiment is that, you know, there's this old trope
Speaker 2: that like, women don't like nice guys and that the
Speaker 2: poor nice guys always finished last. However, Janet in this
Speaker 2: article is presenting the idea that it's not so much
Speaker 2: that we don't like nice guys, but we don't like
Speaker 2: guys who are constantly available, like who are there?
Speaker 3: And who are you know?
Speaker 2: Which is kind of shit right, Like guys who are
Speaker 2: eager guys, who are you know? Hey, what do you
Speaker 2: want to do on Saturday night? Sunday night? Well, I'm
Speaker 2: free on Monday night. It's like we are conditioned to
Speaker 2: want the chase, and the chase is what makes the
Speaker 2: relationship desirable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think that's just us I think
Speaker 1: that that works in reverse. I think that's in nature.
Speaker 1: So you think men are the same. Men don't want
Speaker 1: women to be available, but they want to think that
Speaker 1: they've got to chase. They want to think that they've
Speaker 1: got to work for it. It's exactly the same. And
Speaker 1: I know this because I've had friends tell me.
Speaker 2: But I think that that's gendered though, right, Like, I
Speaker 2: definitely think that it's kind of known that men like
Speaker 2: the chase. That's the argument that's been as old as
Speaker 2: an old chase time. But that's what I'm saying. It's
Speaker 2: well known that men like the ch that's what we
Speaker 2: have been like socially conditioned to believe. But I actually
Speaker 2: think women, a lot of women like the chase equally
Speaker 2: as much.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I wouldn't argue that point. I think absolutely
Speaker 1: human nature, this is what we want, we want what
Speaker 1: we can't have, we want what we think is a
Speaker 1: challenge and when we have to work for I one
Speaker 1: hundred percent I'm on board with that. I think every
Speaker 1: time you think something's not available to you, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: but I really wanted that, and then you're like, but
Speaker 1: did you.
Speaker 2: It's almost like with a job opportunity or something like
Speaker 2: even if you don't really want it, but then you
Speaker 2: don't get it, it makes you be like, well, but
Speaker 2: why don't you give it to me?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And you're like did you want it? And you're like,
Speaker 1: well no, no, but I want to want me But
Speaker 1: now I want it. I know exactly. I was listening
Speaker 1: to Matthew Hussey literally talk about this yesterday in bed.
Speaker 1: I roll over sometimes if I'm in the mood, I
Speaker 1: put a bit of Matthew Ussy on. I'm a big fan.
Speaker 1: If you guys don't know who Matthew Hussy is, give
Speaker 1: him a little Google. But he's a relationship specialist.
Speaker 2: Hey, we've been trying to get him on this podcast
Speaker 2: for three years now. The guy wants doesn't want to
Speaker 2: bar R.
Speaker 1: I was with my friend two days ago who's brought
Speaker 1: him up in conversation, was like, I've just got a
Speaker 1: message Matt. I was like who, and he's like, you know,
Speaker 1: Matthew Ussey, And I was like, what, I want him
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Let's make this happen anyway. I'm working
Speaker 1: on it there with me washed his space twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: Here we come, Matthew Hussey. Yeah, I'm going to manifest it.
Speaker 1: But he was saying exactly that, right. He's like, the
Speaker 1: second that somebody pulls away from you, whether you like
Speaker 1: them or not, is when you want them. And he
Speaker 1: goes into it's almost like a whole ted talk, but
Speaker 1: he makes a lot of sense and he speaks very
Speaker 1: very clearly about it. But it is like that, it's food,
Speaker 1: it's jobs, it's opportunities, it's people.
Speaker 3: It's love.
Speaker 1: When we think we're not allowed to have it anymore,
Speaker 1: we want it more. I am so bad to that.
Speaker 1: You look at everything in my life, right, I am
Speaker 1: a classic example of when I can't have something, I
Speaker 1: want it more. That's why I always date people that
Speaker 1: aren't here, because I want them so much more.
Speaker 3: Because I'm like physically in the country.
Speaker 1: If you're not physically available emotionally available, like my panties
Speaker 1: are off, I'm like, dangn that is so fucking not good.
Speaker 1: But it's true.
Speaker 3: It's very bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but what am I supposed to be about it?
Speaker 2: Seeks in help Speak to Matthew Us if he came
Speaker 2: on the podcast Seek Some Soul Searching, Self Development Help
Speaker 2: Speak to a psychiatrists.
Speaker 1: I don't know no, and guys, we do joke about this.
Speaker 1: I do actually like the people that I date that
Speaker 1: are that are not here like I'm joking and physically
Speaker 1: won't be with me. No, I'm very I am obviously
Speaker 1: seriously interested in them. But it is something I think
Speaker 1: that we need to consider a lot more. Okay, as
Speaker 1: an example of reverse, So I was seeing this guy
Speaker 1: like six months ago, you know who I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I really liked him, and he at the time really
Speaker 1: liked me. But because I liked him more like, I
Speaker 1: was giving him a lot of my time, because I
Speaker 1: was like, I would date this person I think like
Speaker 1: I think I like this person. I gave him so
Speaker 1: much of my time that he started to pull away.
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, I'm just not ready. Then I
Speaker 1: was like, don't have the energy for it. I'm done,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm looking for relationships. So I pulled away.
Speaker 1: Then all of a sudden, he came back. The second
Speaker 1: I left. He was like, You're everything to me, And
Speaker 1: I was like.
Speaker 3: What the chase is so exhausting though, isn't it.
Speaker 1: But because I could see it, because I'm so emotion
Speaker 1: and immature and we've researched so much, I was like,
Speaker 1: you don't like me actually, and he's like, no, I
Speaker 1: do I really can we make this work? And I
Speaker 1: just called him on his bluff. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: doing you a favor. I'm doing me a favor. You
Speaker 1: are not interested in me. We know this because we
Speaker 1: tried it. You just want me because now I don't
Speaker 1: want you. And I don't know if that's true. Maybe
Speaker 1: he does really like me, but that's what I think.
Speaker 1: That's how I genuinely feel.
Speaker 2: I find it's a really interesting one because I hate
Speaker 2: that this is how we're socially conditioned, because all we're
Speaker 2: doing is robbing ourselves of potentially really great partners who
Speaker 2: are not only available and interested, but also reliable and
Speaker 2: stable and constant. And I know that that's like not
Speaker 2: the sexiest thing, because we all want like the fireworks
Speaker 2: and the drama at the start. But there's something to
Speaker 2: be said about someone who is genuinely interested in you
Speaker 2: and is making you aware that they want to be
Speaker 2: with you, like valuing your time, and it's it's so
Speaker 2: shit that we often discard that person and will pursue
Speaker 2: someone who makes our life so hard just because there's
Speaker 2: more reward in the chase.
Speaker 3: The one thing I do want to say.
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting for me though in terms of
Speaker 2: like my relationship with Matt, Matt is I mean, he's
Speaker 2: got a bit of sas to I wouldn't say he's
Speaker 2: like such a nice guy that he's got no personality,
Speaker 2: But when it comes down to being a nice guy,
Speaker 2: like he is a nice person, like he treats me well,
Speaker 2: he is a very very nice person.
Speaker 1: I would agree.
Speaker 3: I would never have dated him had I not met
Speaker 3: him on The Bachelor.
Speaker 2: No, because he was too nice to you, and I
Speaker 2: would have been like, oh my god, this guy likes
Speaker 2: me too much.
Speaker 3: He's boring.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't have fought with you or anything. He wouldn't
Speaker 1: have argued, he wouldn't have debated. He would have been like, yes,
Speaker 1: my beautiful angel, and you would have been like, ew yeah.
Speaker 1: But also because he would have been so available to me.
Speaker 1: But the thing about The Bachelor is that even though
Speaker 1: we didn't have the drama in terms of like his personality,
Speaker 1: like there was no drama in his affection for me
Speaker 1: or in the time that we spent.
Speaker 3: Together, but there was a hell of a lot of
Speaker 3: fucking drama at.
Speaker 2: The start of our relationship, Like the drama was all
Speaker 2: in the fact that I didn't know whether he wanted
Speaker 2: to be with me and I had to compete against
Speaker 2: twenty four other women, Like, yes, why you were hooked?
Speaker 3: It's one hundred percent, Like obviously it's wasn't the.
Speaker 1: Good looks, the abs in a really nice guy, but.
Speaker 3: Obviously I love the guy.
Speaker 2: But like on the flip side to that, I can
Speaker 2: fully look back on that time and go, oh, it
Speaker 2: was loaded with a lot of drama.
Speaker 1: Well, there's a reason. There's a book called Why Men
Speaker 1: Love Bitches and it is a best selling book, right,
Speaker 1: But it's not about women being bitches. But there's a difference.
Speaker 1: It's about women being able to call bullshit, knowing their
Speaker 1: self worth, knowing when to walk away from something or
Speaker 1: they've had enough for you, knowing their boundaries. So it's
Speaker 1: this idea of saying you know what you're not for me,
Speaker 1: I don't like the way you're acting and walking away.
Speaker 1: That's when men are attracted to them because they're like,
Speaker 1: think they're going to lose someone. So it's not the
Speaker 1: idea of being a horrible and a bad boy or
Speaker 1: a bad woman or a bitch or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: But it's I guess it's just knowing what you want
Speaker 1: in your worth. But it's interesting that we still do it.
Speaker 1: We still even you and I. We've done so much
Speaker 1: research on this, like four years we've been talking about
Speaker 1: these things. We know, we know it, We've spoken to
Speaker 1: the experts, but I can still see sometimes slipping into
Speaker 1: my own life. I am aware, but it's funny because
Speaker 1: you have to really check yourself on it, because we
Speaker 1: do want the nice guy at the end of the day, Like,
Speaker 1: we do want someone that treats as well. We want
Speaker 1: someone available. We want someone nice, emotionally mature.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you want someone who like I don't know,
Speaker 2: I mean like it's obviously everyone wants someone who's nice to.
Speaker 1: Them, but like then pulls your hair in the bedroom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But also but like who is genuinely available? Like
Speaker 2: who is available with their time, with their priorities, with
Speaker 2: their love, with their effects, Like all that stuff is
Speaker 2: so fucking important.
Speaker 3: The other thing, I think, don't do this.
Speaker 2: This is not what I'm suggesting, But I'm like, curious,
Speaker 2: do you think it could be used as a tactic
Speaker 2: to get someone to like you more? Like, for example,
Speaker 2: if you're in the early stages of dating and you're
Speaker 2: like caught up in the buzz of like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I want to spend every second in my day, like
Speaker 2: you know, talking to this person and being with this
Speaker 2: person because I'm just like so infatuated. Is it a
Speaker 2: tactic to kind of go, hey, do you know what,
Speaker 2: like let's just see each other once this week instead
Speaker 2: of like you know, three times this week or whatever
Speaker 2: it is that you would want to do because you
Speaker 2: want to see them whenever they're available. Is that a
Speaker 2: way of, like, you know, one, pacing the relationship a
Speaker 2: little bit better so that way you can't be love bombed,
Speaker 2: but also kind of like creating this chase in a
Speaker 2: healthy way with at it becoming like this big, dramatic, unavailable,
Speaker 2: toxic bullshit.
Speaker 1: I mean yes, I think people do one hundred percent
Speaker 1: use that as a tactic.
Speaker 3: Hats off to you.
Speaker 1: No, if you've got self control, you've got to self control.
Speaker 1: You better woman than I A.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get into answering or you're deep, you're dark,
Speaker 2: and you're burning questions.
Speaker 1: Question one is withholding a pregnancy deceitful?
Speaker 3: From who?
Speaker 1: This is where I put in music, like from your partner?
Speaker 1: That's your question? No, there's more. Okay, I've been working
Speaker 1: pretty hard, going above and beyond in my current role,
Speaker 1: as there is a promotion coming up with my name
Speaker 1: all over it. I work in a team of twenty
Speaker 1: guys and I am constantly taking on their work. Then
Speaker 1: a new job will be a lot of work. But
Speaker 1: I am passionate about my project and it's only two years.
Speaker 1: Then I'd go back to my current job. The letter
Speaker 1: of offer has been held up for months, but is
Speaker 1: likely to be here before Christmas to start in January. However,
Speaker 1: I have just found out I am pregnant and I
Speaker 1: am due in July. Do I owe it to my
Speaker 1: boss to tell him before I sign my contract? Can
Speaker 1: I withhold this as it is so early in the pregnancy.
Speaker 1: Do I just take it and just do six months
Speaker 1: of the contract, possibly to return for a bit after
Speaker 1: maternity leave. I'm worried if I let the opportunity go
Speaker 1: and stay in my current job, which I do also love,
Speaker 1: I will just be handing a very rare senior opportunity
Speaker 1: to one of the guys in my team who have
Speaker 1: all been just cruising all year. Do I need the
Speaker 1: stress of a new job whilst navigating pregnancy. Do I
Speaker 1: really want to tell my boss about an early pregnancy
Speaker 1: in case it falls through? I don't want to be deceitful,
Speaker 1: but this role was created for me, and I certainly
Speaker 1: bloody deserve it.
Speaker 3: Help.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is so yeah. To summarize, she's early pregnancy.
Speaker 1: The promotion is coming up. She knows she deserves it,
Speaker 1: she knows she wants it. If she takes it, she'll
Speaker 1: only get six months. Then you have to go on
Speaker 1: matt leave because it's a two year position.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I think the only issue with this, and
Speaker 2: like my very first reaction as somebody who has had
Speaker 2: kids and who has also been in a situation where
Speaker 2: my manager like, Okay, I'll just tell you the backstory
Speaker 2: for it. When I used to work in graphic design
Speaker 2: and I used to work for in Farmer. This is
Speaker 2: long before the batch days. Basically, I sat just below
Speaker 2: the marketing manager, and I got hired into this pharmaceutical company.
Speaker 2: And I had done my trial period three month trial period,
Speaker 2: and then as soon as my three month trial period
Speaker 2: was over, my boss told me that she was pregnant.
Speaker 2: She was going on maternity le so she'd known pretty
Speaker 2: much the whole time that she was pregnant.
Speaker 3: They had hired me so that I could.
Speaker 2: Cover for her, but they basically did it so that
Speaker 2: I could take over the marketing manager's position without being
Speaker 2: paid to be a marketing manager. So there was someone
Speaker 2: to pick up the work. And I felt really deceived
Speaker 2: by it. But also I was like, well, she doesn't
Speaker 2: have to tell me anything, right, they she doesn't have
Speaker 2: to tell me that she's pregnant before she's ready and
Speaker 2: willing to tell me that she's pregnant.
Speaker 1: But also it should be paid because you're doing any
Speaker 1: new job.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's a whole other kettle of fish.
Speaker 2: But just coming back to the whole pregnancy conversation, like,
Speaker 2: you can't be annoyed as an employer that your employee
Speaker 2: didn't tell you about their early pregnancy, especially because a
Speaker 2: lot of women want to get to that three month
Speaker 2: mark before they feel comfortable even talking about pregnancy.
Speaker 3: That's a very personal thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also, who's to say that you know you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: yet a lot of people take them a bit of
Speaker 1: time to conc think she knows she's pregnant, that's the
Speaker 1: question exists. No, the boss, you could get the promotion
Speaker 1: and then a month later be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I've just found out and pregnant. They don't know when
Speaker 1: you found out. And yes, there is a level of
Speaker 1: deceitfulness because you know when you're choosing to withhold it.
Speaker 1: But I don't think anyone should be forced to talk
Speaker 1: about something personal when they don't want to or they're
Speaker 1: not ready for whatever reason. And on top of that,
Speaker 1: unfortunately it's the way of life. Women carry the baby,
Speaker 1: So in your relationship, you're carrying the baby. That shouldn't
Speaker 1: stop you from going for a promotion, because that's when
Speaker 1: the times cross. Even if you do, unless you're planning
Speaker 1: on taking two years maternity leave, which is the entire
Speaker 1: promotional contract, I'd probably say don't go for it. Well,
Speaker 1: you're not physically going to be here, you're not going
Speaker 1: to do the job, so there's no point. But if
Speaker 1: you're just going to take a normal maternity leave, you
Speaker 1: can still do six months at the start, take your leave,
Speaker 1: you can still come back. I would probably still go
Speaker 1: for the promotion because you know you deserve it. You
Speaker 1: work hard, and it's not fair for you to not
Speaker 1: go for a job you want. But it does put
Speaker 1: the employee in a tricky position too, because in six
Speaker 1: months time they still have to hire someone else. Someone
Speaker 1: still is going to have to cover your position.
Speaker 3: That's a fact. Yeah, And I think that that's like,
Speaker 3: this is the big one for me.
Speaker 2: The reason why this has got a gray area for
Speaker 2: me is because it's not a full time, long term
Speaker 2: employment opportunity.
Speaker 1: It's not ten years.
Speaker 2: No, it's not just an ongoing employment opportunity, which in
Speaker 2: which case I would say, no, get your raise, get
Speaker 2: your new positioning, and then take your time off. If
Speaker 2: you know you want to go back to work after
Speaker 2: having babies, then like that shouldn't be the thing that
Speaker 2: prohibits you from advancing your career. But the fact that
Speaker 2: this is only a contract job and you are physically
Speaker 2: unable to do the contract, and you know you're unable
Speaker 2: to do the contract, there is a part of me
Speaker 2: that's like, for your own sake, for your own sense
Speaker 2: of self, is it worth it? And I'm not thinking
Speaker 2: about it from a company perspective. I'm thinking about it
Speaker 2: from what does your maternity leave look like to you? Like,
Speaker 2: do you want to take six months? Do you want
Speaker 2: to take three months? Do you want to take a year?
Speaker 2: If you want to take a full year maternity leave
Speaker 2: and you're only able to do really eight months of
Speaker 2: the whole contract, then is it worth it to do that?
Speaker 2: Like I would probably say in that case, like, don't
Speaker 2: bother with it, because it's an added amount of stress
Speaker 2: and there may be pressure on you to come back
Speaker 2: earlier from your maternity leave if you're not ready to
Speaker 2: because it is a senior position and you know, of
Speaker 2: course it's not meant to be like that, but a
Speaker 2: lot of work and employeers put pressure on people to
Speaker 2: come back earlier from maternity leave, especially in high senior roles.
Speaker 2: So that would be my own consideration. I'm like, is
Speaker 2: it worth you taking on this job? But if you
Speaker 2: really really want it and you think that it's something
Speaker 2: that you can still add value to the company and
Speaker 2: it can add value to you, then go for it.
Speaker 1: This is what I would do. I would.
Speaker 2: Keep it a fucking secret until people are like, yeah, Sarah,
Speaker 2: what's going.
Speaker 1: On we're from home for nine months. No, I would
Speaker 1: go for the promotion, not say anything. I would just
Speaker 1: go for the promotion based on just you and your
Speaker 1: skill and what you want. Hopefully you get it, which
Speaker 1: you feel like you will. Then when you feel comfortable
Speaker 1: one month, two months, however long in you can notify
Speaker 1: everyone that you're pregnant. You have to tell the truth.
Speaker 1: Then that's when you can have a discussion with your employer.
Speaker 1: At least that way minimum, even if you decide to
Speaker 1: pass the job over someone else, like you know, because
Speaker 1: you don't have an option, right, at least you get
Speaker 1: six months of the promotion. No one's ever gonna hold
Speaker 1: that against you that you felt pregnant in that time.
Speaker 1: So for you, for a CV, even if it's just
Speaker 1: the six months, it's gonna look good. You're gonna feel good.
Speaker 1: You'll be able to prove a lot in the six
Speaker 1: months time, and it's just unfortunate timing that you did
Speaker 1: a pregnant within the promotion. The only thing that they
Speaker 1: might hold against you though, is I mean, you're already
Speaker 1: it's apparently like eight weeks or so, like you're eight
Speaker 1: weeks pregnant. So if you tell them, like just say,
Speaker 1: this contract doesn't come through until right at the end
Speaker 1: of the year and you are literally at the three
Speaker 1: month mark, they're gonna know or they're going to be
Speaker 1: very very suspicious that you weren't transparent with them.
Speaker 3: And I think there how pregnant she is.
Speaker 2: I think she said that she's like the mass there
Speaker 2: sounds about eight weeks ish. Yeah, so I guess like
Speaker 2: that's the only thing, like if you think that, and
Speaker 2: I know it shouldn't be the case, but it's more
Speaker 2: so just from like how you sit with your employer.
Speaker 2: If your employer feels like you kept that a secret
Speaker 2: in order to get a promotion, but then you weren't
Speaker 2: able to do the job, like physically can't do the
Speaker 2: job because you're not going to be there for the
Speaker 2: contract term, that might leave a really bad taste in
Speaker 2: their mouth.
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying that that's the right thing.
Speaker 2: All I'm saying is is that if it was a
Speaker 2: different position, as in like a long term position, I
Speaker 2: think I would feel a bit different about it because
Speaker 2: it's a contract.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but really I'm still going to tell her to
Speaker 1: go for it.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm going yesterday.
Speaker 1: Well that is me. I'm a big opportunity taker. I
Speaker 1: think if the opportunity is there, you've worked hard for it,
Speaker 1: you want it, I would go for it and deal
Speaker 1: with it after. You can have a conversation with your
Speaker 1: boss in six months time. If you think you can
Speaker 1: just hand it over to one of these other guys anyway,
Speaker 1: they'll do that in six months, Like in a six
Speaker 1: months time, that same guy is going to get the job.
Speaker 1: At least you proved yourself for six months.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know what, it is such a shit
Speaker 2: thing that, like it's obviously part and parcel of wanting
Speaker 2: to have kids, but like as women we cop the
Speaker 2: brunt of it. As women, we're the ones who have
Speaker 2: our careers delayed. Like there is a sense of and
Speaker 2: I guess this is something that I experienced. There is
Speaker 2: this feeling when you first have children of like, oh,
Speaker 2: I can just I'll just do it all, you know,
Speaker 2: like it's fine, I'll juggle it all, I'll do it all.
Speaker 3: But you physically can't do it all at the same time.
Speaker 2: So it is really challenging to keep on progressing your
Speaker 2: career and also have kids simultaneously.
Speaker 3: And that's a big conversation to have with your.
Speaker 2: Partner around like how do you guys navigate what work
Speaker 2: looks like for you in the few and who's going
Speaker 2: to do the line's share of the parenting so that
Speaker 2: the other person can progress their career And then when
Speaker 2: do you swap like who what does that look like
Speaker 2: then in five years time?
Speaker 3: But that's all kind of like down the road and
Speaker 3: bigger picture stuff.
Speaker 1: Question number two.
Speaker 3: Rock and roll lever all right?
Speaker 2: Question number two. I met someone very special this year. However,
Speaker 2: it has been a roller coaster since we met. My
Speaker 2: dad died, I then had an abortion, and I moved overseas. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we have remained through each other's lives throughout this as
Speaker 2: he's also overseas now too, but he has recently gone
Speaker 2: off to figure out his life and do his own
Speaker 2: thing because he said that he needs space. He said
Speaker 2: he loves me very much and wants me in his life,
Speaker 2: but he doesn't know to what extent right now. I
Speaker 2: love him so much and I keep coming back to
Speaker 2: this thought that he is the one and we're meant
Speaker 2: to be together.
Speaker 3: Is this naive? How do you know if someone is
Speaker 3: the one?
Speaker 2: And how can I get over this heartbreak I currently
Speaker 2: feel and the fear that we won't end up together.
Speaker 2: I know I can be okay on my own, but
Speaker 2: I want him in my life and I feel helpless. Please,
Speaker 2: this is interesting. I was talking about this. I mean
Speaker 2: we went to esther Perel last week.
Speaker 1: And this was one of the questions from the audience
Speaker 1: members to esther onstage and with how do you know
Speaker 1: you're the one? How do you know someone's the one?
Speaker 1: And then we had a conversation off And now I've
Speaker 1: been speaking to a lot of people about it. But
Speaker 1: my parents been married for forty five years. They're in love,
Speaker 1: and I remember I've asked them multiple times. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what was it? Like there has to have been something
Speaker 1: because they met and got engaged and married very quickly, Right,
Speaker 1: what is it? And it was always just you just know,
Speaker 1: like there's no magic recipe, there's no formula. It's just
Speaker 1: a feeling. But the thing is, it's a reciprocal feeling.
Speaker 1: If somebody doesn't feel it back for you, they're not
Speaker 1: the one. They're physically not the one. They don't want
Speaker 1: to be in the relationship. That's always a really bitter,
Speaker 1: hard pill to swallow when there is a love that
Speaker 1: is not reciprocated. In this situation, it's tricky because you're
Speaker 1: saying that he's saying the right things. He's telling you
Speaker 1: you're very important, he wants you in his life, but
Speaker 1: not yet, and he doesn't know how and he needs
Speaker 1: to go and do his thing and have his space.
Speaker 1: There is not a lot you can do other than
Speaker 1: let him go and have his space. It's what he wants.
Speaker 1: He's right now choosing not to have you in his
Speaker 1: life for whatever reason that is. We don't know what
Speaker 1: he's going through, but right now he's making a conscious
Speaker 1: choice of wanting to do life on his own. The
Speaker 1: really important thing here is that you don't put your
Speaker 1: life on hold for this. You can still have these
Speaker 1: feelings and think about him, but don't let these little
Speaker 1: breadcrumbs be enough to stop you from living. And that
Speaker 1: is something that a lot of people do. I have
Speaker 1: done it very much. So it's very easy to hold
Speaker 1: onto something when you think someone is the one. If
Speaker 1: you are, he will come back to you and if
Speaker 1: it's right, you will be available, ready, free. But don't
Speaker 1: don't wait and waste, not waste, but don't put your
Speaker 1: life on hold. That's the really big drive home here.
Speaker 2: I think, just on what you said, Britt, the whole
Speaker 2: idea of like I just knew that they were the one.
Speaker 2: It's just a very simplified way of describing your relationship, right, Like,
Speaker 2: because I'm sure your dad and your mom weren't just like, hey,
Speaker 2: I just thought that they were the one, and so
Speaker 2: therefore they were the one. I reckon. Your dad and
Speaker 2: your mom both consistently showed up to that relationship. They
Speaker 2: were loving to each other, they were kind to each other,
Speaker 2: they complimented each other, they proved that each other were
Speaker 2: the support person.
Speaker 3: Like, there's so many.
Speaker 2: Other factors there that are the indicators of the reason
Speaker 2: why you felt that that person was the one, and
Speaker 2: purely going off feelings alone, you can be wrong. I
Speaker 2: thought other people were the one and they weren't the one,
Speaker 2: of course.
Speaker 1: But that's because you weren't the one for them.
Speaker 2: But they also weren't the one for me because they
Speaker 2: treated me like shit. But I still thought that they
Speaker 2: were the one. I don't think that that feelings are
Speaker 2: a good indication or a relationship. I think the way
Speaker 2: people show up in the relationship are a good indication
Speaker 2: of a relationship.
Speaker 1: Of course. But let me just add in. My parents
Speaker 1: met one day, then broke up with their partners and
Speaker 1: knew they were the one. After one meeting, that was it,
Speaker 1: and it was busy. My mum just said, I do
Speaker 1: not know what it was five hours they knew each other.
Speaker 1: That's beautifully romantic, but I think it's not realistic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it gives people this unrealistic because it could have not
Speaker 1: worked out, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It could have not been the case. And there's also
Speaker 2: a lot of luck that goes into that. That's when
Speaker 2: chemistry meets luck and it's just two really good people
Speaker 2: who got together. But I think totally when we oversimplify it,
Speaker 2: we then lean into this idea of soulmates, and then
Speaker 2: by doing that, it means that people hold onto things thinking, well,
Speaker 2: it has to be this person, and we can.
Speaker 3: Be very, very wrong, is all I'm trying to say.
Speaker 2: And you know, I feel like Matt and I have
Speaker 2: this beautiful meet cute and I feel like we're soulmates.
Speaker 2: But then I think back on past relationships and I'm like, man,
Speaker 2: I was convinced, convinced.
Speaker 3: That my ex boyfriend was the man I was going
Speaker 3: to marry.
Speaker 2: You know, I was with him for six years and
Speaker 2: I told everyone like, he's the person I was going
Speaker 2: to spend my life with. And I was wrong, and
Speaker 2: I'm so glad I was wrong. But it takes a
Speaker 2: lot of time from that relationship, and it takes a
Speaker 2: lot of distance to actually get to a point in
Speaker 2: your life when you have the amazing things that happen
Speaker 2: where you go. God, it's so good being wrong sometimes.
Speaker 1: Well, this is why I'm saying, you have to accept
Speaker 1: what he's telling you. At the moment, he's telling you
Speaker 1: he's choosing not to have you in his life, and
Speaker 1: you can't do anything other than respect that and know
Speaker 1: that if it is right, you're both still put in
Speaker 1: the work. You can still stay in contact. I don't know.
Speaker 1: If he said I don't want any contact with you,
Speaker 1: maybe you still want to chat. The only drive home
Speaker 1: for me is if you want to do that and
Speaker 1: have that contact, that's so fine, But don't put every
Speaker 1: other opportunity and option and person you could meet. Don't
Speaker 1: put that aside because you've got tunnel vision for this
Speaker 1: one person that you've convinced yourself is the one for you.
Speaker 1: He could beat you. Guys could get together and have
Speaker 1: the best life, but he also might worst case, he
Speaker 1: might never come back. He might go away. He could
Speaker 1: meet someone. I know that's horrible, but all I'm saying
Speaker 1: is when two things are supposed to happen, I do
Speaker 1: think that will happen. Obviously you put the work in,
Speaker 1: you still keep the communication, but you both got to
Speaker 1: want it the same amount, because it's really really hard
Speaker 1: to make relationships work.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's easy though, in terms of like
Speaker 2: when you say, like, if you still want to talk
Speaker 2: to them, you can keep in communication, keep a contact.
Speaker 2: Do you think it's really hard when you're physically so
Speaker 2: in love with someone and they don't want to be
Speaker 2: with you. I think it's really quite challenging to stay
Speaker 2: in contact and then still be open to other opportunities,
Speaker 2: because how do you get over something when you still
Speaker 2: hold onto hope.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what's a question. I guess the thing
Speaker 1: is here. He's not saying I don't want to be
Speaker 1: with you, let's be friends. That's not what it is.
Speaker 1: So it's really hard, I imagine I for you to
Speaker 1: move on because he said I want to be with you,
Speaker 1: but not now.
Speaker 3: So that even worse.
Speaker 2: That's like I want to be with you, but like
Speaker 2: I'm going to fuck you around for a couple of years.
Speaker 3: I think that that is like the worst option.
Speaker 2: A kind of thing to do would be, Hey, I
Speaker 2: don't know what I want right now, but I know
Speaker 2: it's not you so I need.
Speaker 3: To go and find myself.
Speaker 2: And then, like, I think it's really cruel when people
Speaker 2: leave an open ended opportunity for themselves in someone else's life.
Speaker 1: Very selfish, and that's why people are still they keep
Speaker 1: you there as a backup. Oh if things don't work out,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I can go back there because I've
Speaker 1: left those few little breadcrumbs and I know she was
Speaker 1: pretty great. I know they were pretty great, so they
Speaker 1: wouldn't be the worst backup. And I'm not saying that's
Speaker 1: what this is, but people consciously and subconsciously do do this.
Speaker 2: And also they're like, well, I'm going to go out
Speaker 2: there and see what else is better, and if I
Speaker 2: can't find anything better, I'll be back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. Remember that guy from New York
Speaker 1: and I've told you guys about him over the years, Right,
Speaker 1: any of these OJ listeners, there was this thing to
Speaker 1: that guy.
Speaker 2: Didn't he come back in the scenes for a little
Speaker 2: wi Yeah he came back, So again he's lit.
Speaker 3: This guy, he's literally like the ghost of Christmas past.
Speaker 3: He was always like that.
Speaker 1: I always sort of said to him, you know, the
Speaker 1: one that got away kind of thing. That's how I
Speaker 1: felt right, because at the time this has gone on
Speaker 1: over a decade. I'm not kidding ten years. This has
Speaker 1: been on and off, on and off. He was like,
Speaker 1: you're everything. Want to marry you. Then he's like, na, psych,
Speaker 1: don't really want to change my mind. We were flying
Speaker 1: all over the world to see each other. It was
Speaker 1: like all this on and off, on and off. This guy,
Speaker 1: Brittany flew to New York. This is many years ago.
Speaker 1: She flewd to New York to be with him. After
Speaker 1: he was like, only from England, though, you're my soulmate.
Speaker 1: And then she got there and he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think I made a mistake. Well you only said
Speaker 1: He was crying and he said on paper, he said
Speaker 1: this on behavior, you're everything. He's like, but I just
Speaker 1: feel like something's missing and I can't work it out
Speaker 1: and then I pay for your everything.
Speaker 2: But in real life it's just yes, so just tell
Speaker 2: me I'm not it just like you don't like burn
Speaker 2: the paper in my face.
Speaker 1: Anyway, he was crying when he was saying it. He
Speaker 1: definitely had feelings for me, right, This has a point,
Speaker 1: this story. So then I was not upset anymore because
Speaker 1: by this point it had been going on for six
Speaker 1: or seven years. So I left him that day and
Speaker 1: I said it is done, we are done, leave me alone,
Speaker 1: move on. I was like, move on because he was
Speaker 1: the one that kept coming back to me, not me.
Speaker 3: Move on.
Speaker 1: He has come back again now as in like the
Speaker 1: last few months. This is ten years on and he
Speaker 1: was like yet, yes, no, I'm not kidding. He said,
Speaker 1: it's always been you like and but I called him
Speaker 1: on it and I said that do you know what
Speaker 1: I said? I said, it's not me, Ben, that's not
Speaker 1: his name. I was just couldn't I am. I was like, Frank.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not me. Frank. I was like,
Speaker 1: what has happened? It is I've had used to think
Speaker 1: about it. I said, no, you had used to find
Speaker 1: someone else. You haven't and you realize that I'm probably
Speaker 1: good enough, so you've come back. And he's like, that's
Speaker 1: not true. We had an argument, but now again, because
Speaker 1: I'm so emotionally mature, I could see right through it.
Speaker 1: And that's what people do. So that's what I want
Speaker 1: this girl to be careful of.
Speaker 2: Or is it because he's making himself so available to
Speaker 2: you now that you're like, nah, not interesting?
Speaker 1: Because he still lives overseas Question number three. Question number
Speaker 1: three is wild?
Speaker 2: Oh God, strap yourselves in. Put it on your undies, literally, no,
Speaker 2: take them off.
Speaker 1: I got out of a two year relationship a few
Speaker 1: months ago where we had amazing sex every day. That's nice,
Speaker 1: amazing sex every day. He had a really big girthy
Speaker 1: fat dick. I had a dating again now, and every
Speaker 1: time I sleep with someone, I can't help her feel
Speaker 1: a bit disappointed in their size. I know this sounds
Speaker 1: really superficial, but my ex has just ruined me. Is
Speaker 1: this a thing? I've recently connected with someone and left
Speaker 1: it a couple of dates to sleep with him, and
Speaker 1: the exact same thing happened that always happens. The sex
Speaker 1: was actually really great, he was a very generous lover,
Speaker 1: and I came multiple times, but I couldn't help thinking
Speaker 1: about my ex's dick. She's been digmatized.
Speaker 2: Wait would you say that she was dick appointed?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and digmatized combined. Sorry to write you this question.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it's too much, it's not, but
Speaker 1: I want to know if you've ever experienced this kind
Speaker 1: of a thing, and if I would just end up
Speaker 1: moving past this eventually for an extra bit of background.
Speaker 1: We ended on mutual terms. We just had different life paths.
Speaker 1: I genuinely knew that we were not good for each other,
Speaker 1: But I can't stop thinking about his dick. That's ah,
Speaker 1: you have been digmatized. It's a real thing. But you
Speaker 1: can't take that into your future.
Speaker 3: Oh look, I mean I think it's fun. Do you
Speaker 3: know why?
Speaker 2: I think it's fine. You've only recently broken up, Like
Speaker 2: it's all recent. In a few months time, that dick
Speaker 2: will be long gone in the past, or you'll find
Speaker 2: a new dick that's fantastic. But like, I think that
Speaker 2: this is okay because you not only not only does
Speaker 2: it sound like you had a particularly lovely penis, but
Speaker 2: you also become very fond of how good sex is
Speaker 2: with someone right, Like you become fond of the fact
Speaker 2: that like they know you completely. Like it's not that
Speaker 2: it's your penis, but it's like the penis that you own,
Speaker 2: your pen but you've become very familiar with it, you know.
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden there's someone else's foreign
Speaker 2: genitalia in your face, and it's like, oh God, is
Speaker 2: that one? Well, wherever I'm sure it's all around it.
Speaker 2: I think that this is probably more common than what
Speaker 2: we think. But like in terms of you, for example,
Speaker 2: like the first time you see another penis after having
Speaker 2: one for a very long time.
Speaker 3: How do you feel.
Speaker 2: Are you just like, oh, that's god, what am I
Speaker 2: gonna do with that?
Speaker 1: Well, I remember, this isn't to do with the penis,
Speaker 1: but it's something similar that I remembered. I wasn't with
Speaker 1: anyone for so long after Jordan, as you guys know,
Speaker 1: like almost until the end of the year, Like it
Speaker 1: was a long time, right, I kissed the first time
Speaker 1: I kissed someone this year, I told you, guys, I
Speaker 1: got out of the car and I was like, I
Speaker 1: didn't like it. It was weird. I didn't recognize the lips.
Speaker 3: It's foreign.
Speaker 1: There was no facial hair, obviously, children had a big mustache.
Speaker 1: It was foreign and it was different and I didn't
Speaker 1: like it and I didn't want it because I was
Speaker 1: obviously not over the relationship at the time. And I
Speaker 1: think that's what it is. So maybe what Laura is
Speaker 1: saying is right, it's very soon for you. You said it's something.
Speaker 1: It's just been a couple of months, so maybe you
Speaker 1: haven't actually moved on yet.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, also, now she's just got a foreign
Speaker 2: phallic that she has to do.
Speaker 1: But she I mean, girl, what's the problem? You said
Speaker 1: she came three times?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I understand what she's saying. Okay.
Speaker 2: I also do think that we put a bit too
Speaker 2: much emphasis on the esthetics of penises, right like, coming
Speaker 2: back to this idea that like a guy needs to
Speaker 2: have a really big penis to get you off.
Speaker 3: There does not matter.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter, and we all know that. And obviously,
Speaker 2: like you just said, and obviously, like I said in
Speaker 2: the question, you know he made you come three times.
Speaker 3: I think that at.
Speaker 2: The moment, you don't have an emotional connection, right, Like,
Speaker 2: you've not really met anyone that you've felt that like
Speaker 2: intense spark with, which is why the penis seems to
Speaker 2: be so important. It's such a point of like, oh God,
Speaker 2: is this leveling up. I think once you meet someone
Speaker 2: who you actually have that connection with, who you have
Speaker 2: that spark with, you're gonna fall in love with their
Speaker 2: penis just as much you're gonna love all of them equally.
Speaker 1: You can't underestimate what an emotional connection totally and do
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life, like for your sex life.
Speaker 1: And that's a good point, Laura. Right now, she has
Speaker 1: no I mean, I'm assuming you have no other connection
Speaker 1: to these people other than it being purely physical, So
Speaker 1: you don't have anything else to go off, You don't
Speaker 1: have anything else that's intensifying the sex other than the sex.
Speaker 1: And also right now, if you're going out and having
Speaker 1: one night stands or you're just meeting people, there's no familiarity,
Speaker 1: there's no knowing what people like. But I genuinely believe
Speaker 1: I'm not just saying this. I genuinely believe size doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: and it's different for everyone. Everyone wants and needs different things.
Speaker 1: I think if you're both being generous lovers and you're passionate,
Speaker 1: then the rest will come. And I think when you
Speaker 1: do meet somebody that you have that connection with again,
Speaker 1: your ex will completely fade and you'll move on wholeheartedly
Speaker 1: and embrace the new penis.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it takes time, right.
Speaker 1: Like embrace the penis. I was about to say it,
Speaker 1: embrace the penis. Okay.
Speaker 2: The last thing I want to say on this as well,
Speaker 2: and it's just off what you know you just said,
Speaker 2: brit But like, in terms of this connection and chemistry
Speaker 2: and everything else that grows when you actually have something
Speaker 2: deeper with someone, Right, you can't compare anybody, And I
Speaker 2: don't just mean penis, I mean personality connection penis. You
Speaker 2: can't compare to somebody who you've had a two year
Speaker 2: relation with shit with. It's like, no new person is
Speaker 2: ever going to level up to what you have formed
Speaker 2: over a two year period. And you also you set
Speaker 2: yourself a disservice, like because what happens. And we do
Speaker 2: this for all different reasons, right, Like we have a relationship,
Speaker 2: maybe you've been with someone for five years, two years,
Speaker 2: whatever it is. You then go on a date and
Speaker 2: you compare that person who you've only known for a
Speaker 2: couple of hours to the person who you've had years
Speaker 2: of connection with. Nobody is ever going to level up.
Speaker 2: Their penis isn't going to level up. Their personality isn't
Speaker 2: going to level up. The connection you have with them
Speaker 2: isn't going to level up. And it's like you're never
Speaker 2: gonna get there in terms of like enjoyment or having
Speaker 2: that with a new person if you're always comparing to
Speaker 2: your ex.
Speaker 3: So I think you need a bit of space.
Speaker 1: And also who's to say you're not gonna find better,
Speaker 1: better connection, better, better penis, better sex, better everything, Like
Speaker 1: you don't know that, so leave the comparisons at the doll.
Speaker 1: That's what we say here a life bunk cut as
Speaker 1: of now. All right, that is it. Guys.
Speaker 2: If you loved the episode, jump on and leave us
Speaker 2: a review, Share it with your friends. If you've got
Speaker 2: other pea any if you've got people in your life
Speaker 2: who are dealing with similar predicaments, and you know the.
Speaker 1: Drill, tell you mum, tell you dad, tell you dog,
Speaker 1: tell your friends, tell you penis, and share the love.
Speaker 2: Because imagine if somebody looked down at their penis and
Speaker 2: was like, hey, penis, why don't we listen to this
Speaker 2: episode of Life funk Cut uncut.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're not circumspensive
Speaker 2: Okay, because we love lived wild