WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Feeling DICKappointed? 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.280 Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.080 Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:11.920 pay our respect to their elders past and present and 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.360 extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:16.120 peoples today. 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.560 This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:42.519 Hi guys andam welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:45.879 I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and I'm really fucking sad. I 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:49.559 just absolutely axed because I was rushing because I'm so 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:50.879 late with this record. 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:53.880 Yeah. 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:55.840 I was trying to park in that little side street 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:58.400 around the corner from your house, and I my tire 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:01.480 literally eat into the gutter like. 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:02.560 It was gonna reverse me. 0:01:05.120 --> 0:01:06.600 And then I had to drive up the gutter to 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:07.640 get and I got out and I was like, oh, 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:08.720 let's inspect the damage. 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:09.520 I'm good. 0:01:09.640 --> 0:01:11.800 It's also that weird thing when you're doing that reverse 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:15.000 park parallel and you're behind no, but when you start 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:17.880 to scratch it for some reason, you just really slowly 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:19.080 keep going. No one stops. 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:21.840 You're always like You're like it'll stop. 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:23.160 In a minute. You keep doing it. Why don't we 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:25.200 stop and go forward? Why don't we continue to. 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:27.560 Scratch, because look, when you're already that far deep, you 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:28.520 just got to keep going. 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:30.360 Did getting your car the other day? The window was 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:32.800 smashed as well. It is a bit of a smash window. 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:35.080 Wasn't me that I know my poor car. 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:38.680 Honestly, some people just shouldn't have nice things or anything 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:39.959 that's damage. 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:41.960 It's just I don't know. We'll inspect it when we 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:42.319 get out. 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.759 But the whole hub cap is like, speaking of cars, 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:46.000 what we are doing. 0:01:46.080 --> 0:01:48.240 So I had told you guys a little while ago 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.720 that I had this really slow leak in my car 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:52.280 tire like I had a nail in my time. I 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:53.960 think it was my suck from weeks and weeks and 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.280 weeks ago, one of those life had been things that 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:59.360 you just don't want to fix, like you can't be 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:01.720 bothered because it's not enough that I couldn't drive it. 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:04.920 But every two days or three days, my tire went 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:06.680 down enough that the alarm came on and I had 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:08.239 to go in and pull into a servo and blow 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:08.560 it up. 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:11.160 I do remember this, and I do remember distinctly telling 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.119 you at the time that it's super dangerous to drive 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.760 around with a nail just sticking in, even if it's 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:16.680 plugging the hole. 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:17.919 Well, I didn't know if it was a nail. I 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:19.280 didn't eve look at it. I couldn't bothered. I was 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:22.720 just like I never even looked at what was in there. 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.480 I just knew it was a slow leak. So every 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:28.440 couple of days for literally I reckon five or six weeks, 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:30.800 I just pulled into a surface station and pump it 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:33.000 up anyway, lost not. 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:34.560 Once in five or six weeks. You do you think 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:36.200 I might just look at that tire and see what 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:36.799 was like going. 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:38.240 I could look at it, doesn't change the fact I 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:39.840 wasn't going to go take it anywhere I was. It 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:41.600 wasn't gonna happen, right. I was putting my life on 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:42.880 hold for a little while because. 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:44.720 I was just all your life on the line if 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:46.519 the thing exploded. Yeah. 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:50.880 Anyway, Eventually, while someone on radio at the moment, I've 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.160 asked Keisha, I'm paying Keisha to be like a bit 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:54.760 of a pa the job set, because you know, an 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:56.440 extra five hours out of my day's gone. So I'm 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.480 getting Keisha produce a Keisha to do some stuff. So 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:00.720 we swapped cars. One day, I was like, can you 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.440 please take this down the road to the tire place 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:04.720 for me? Because I'm never going to do it. It 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:06.440 has to happen and change it. So she took it 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:10.480 down the road to the tire place and as her 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.160 producer key, so she gets chatting because she could talk 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.280 to a sidewalk. She the girl loves a chat. So 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.120 she's having a chat and the guy's like, you know 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.280 what you do blah blah blah blah, and she's like, Oh, 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:24.280 I'm in podcasting. And he goes, oh, this is a man. 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:27.600 Because I don't know much about podcasting. The only person 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.720 I know all the podcast I know is Britt and 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:33.320 Laura from Life on Cut. This is a male mechanic. 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.120 And she's like, that's what I do. 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:36.680 She's like, I work for those guys. 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:40.080 I'm thinking like a middle age like, you know, forty 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:41.200 five year old man. 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:44.240 How are theyish he would have been? Maybe? 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:45.840 I don't want to aide him up. 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:49.360 Like I think he owns listening, so I think he 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:50.320 owned the business. 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:52.640 Think he would have been like in his forties. Maybe, 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:53.000 But he. 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:56.960 Said that his girlfriend listens to the podcast and absolutely 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:57.400 loved it. 0:03:57.520 --> 0:03:59.200 Do you know what this is her shout out to 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.640 all the boyfriend friends of girlfriends who listened to this podcast. 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:04.880 And there were also a lot of ex boyfriends as 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:07.160 in the girlfriend got them onto it, and now they've 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:09.200 broken up and they still listen. 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.440 Well we call them the boyfriends of life on Cut 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.000 Life of Boyfeuds. Anyway, I said, Oh, that's awesome. 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:14.400 He loves it. 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:15.760 Did he give it to me for free? She's like, nah, 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:19.320 he charged. We're still shouting him out. 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:21.000 Okay, Well, do you know I have something I want 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:22.840 to ask you before we get into answering all your 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:25.719 deep dark and you're burning questions. This is the dumbest 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:27.640 thing I think I'll ever ask you. But it came 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:29.960 up as a debate between Matt and I actually wasn't 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:32.320 even a debate. So Mac gets out of the shower 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:35.279 last night, and I thought that this was a parody. 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:37.200 I thought that this is just something like that was 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:39.920 like satirically said that men do. He gets out of 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:42.800 the shower, he gets his towel and he slings it 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:46.880 between his legs and like rubs between his legs, like 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:49.000 almost like he's flossing his ball sack. 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:51.760 Yeah, like when you try and pretend to a sexy dance. No, 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:52.799 but this was like what. 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:56.479 This was just a dry dance. This was literally just 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:58.920 to dry himself. Is this something that men actually do? 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:01.440 Because I don't think what's a joke. No, I don't 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.120 think any I think people just put the towel. I 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:04.960 don't think you're sling it between there and go back 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:08.440 and forth like a shimmy. Yeah, like you're literally I 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:09.960 think you just use the towel in your hand like 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:11.240 you normally wouldn't try you all. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:13.320 But maybe men do that. Maybe that's the thing that 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:13.680 guys do. 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:15.440 Matt was trying to convince me that, like, yeah, girls 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:17.040 don't do it because it would be uncomfortable, but it's 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:17.840 something that men do. 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.600 And I was like, really, I've never seen a man 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:22.279 do that in my life. And you have seen a 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:24.880 lot of men single ten years. Yeah, I've seen a 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.960 lot of men. I have never seen anyone do that. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:29.359 I don't think that's a thing. I think that's just 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:30.040 a maddy ja thing. 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:31.839 Do you know what else is not a thing? Men 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.240 who stand up to wipe their butts, but they do it. 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:35.880 There's a lot of men again. 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:40.640 Made Jay, there's a common denominator Okay, I have This. 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:42.200 Is a bit of research for you all. If you're 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:44.000 in a relationship or if you're a man, you can 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:46.760 just take note of yourself. Do you because girls don't 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:49.120 do it, we don't need to. But do you stand 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.320 up as a man to wipe your backs? Why does 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.440 he have to see it up to wise? He told 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:54.120 me that men do. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:56.640 But why when you say girls don't have to, but 0:05:56.760 --> 0:05:59.120 men do? What's the difference? It's in the same position. 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:01.599 A bit junk in the front makes it a bit more. 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:03.200 We have our own junk, dooye? 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:04.800 But I don't know. He just said that men stand 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:05.680 up to wipe their bumbs. 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.960 But if you stand up, your butt cheeks actually close. 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:12.440 No, no, no, you're not standing up right, like completely 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.839 in a full, full vertical position. 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.680 You're like you're crouched. You just crouched up over the toe. 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.159 He hunts up and leans forward. Yeah, he's in a 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:21.200 forty five degree angole. 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:24.400 He's like squatting over the toilet. 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:26.800 Reach around. 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.120 Okay, Well, something else I wanted to talk to you about, 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.760 which is a little bit more important and also interesting, 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:37.479 thank fuck, is it's an article that was written we 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.279 had Jana Hawking on the podcast on Tuesday to talk 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:42.520 about Childless by Toys, which was the topic that we 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:44.919 kind of did a deep dive on, but Jane did 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:47.800 she did an article. She wrote an article recently and 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:50.320 this was in news dot com, and I wanted to 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:52.000 get your opinion on this brick because I kind of 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:55.680 find this concept interesting. The title of the article is 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.440 the real reason women are never happy with a nice 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:01.840 guy and it's got nothing to do with being nice. Now, 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:04.440 the sentiment is that, you know, there's this old trope 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:07.280 that like, women don't like nice guys and that the 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:11.840 poor nice guys always finished last. However, Janet in this 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.520 article is presenting the idea that it's not so much 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.520 that we don't like nice guys, but we don't like 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:19.680 guys who are constantly available, like who are there? 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:20.760 And who are you know? 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:23.360 Which is kind of shit right, Like guys who are 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:25.560 eager guys, who are you know? Hey, what do you 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:27.720 want to do on Saturday night? Sunday night? Well, I'm 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:31.360 free on Monday night. It's like we are conditioned to 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:33.480 want the chase, and the chase is what makes the 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:34.520 relationship desirable. 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:36.800 Yeah, but I don't think that's just us I think 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:39.240 that that works in reverse. I think that's in nature. 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.960 So you think men are the same. Men don't want 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:43.760 women to be available, but they want to think that 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:45.200 they've got to chase. They want to think that they've 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:47.200 got to work for it. It's exactly the same. And 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:49.520 I know this because I've had friends tell me. 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:51.640 But I think that that's gendered though, right, Like, I 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.920 definitely think that it's kind of known that men like 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:56.400 the chase. That's the argument that's been as old as 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:58.520 an old chase time. But that's what I'm saying. It's 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:00.760 well known that men like the ch that's what we 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:04.120 have been like socially conditioned to believe. But I actually 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.760 think women, a lot of women like the chase equally 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:07.360 as much. 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:09.720 Oh yeah, I wouldn't argue that point. I think absolutely 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:12.160 human nature, this is what we want, we want what 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:14.440 we can't have, we want what we think is a 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:16.920 challenge and when we have to work for I one 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.000 hundred percent I'm on board with that. I think every 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:22.280 time you think something's not available to you, you're like, oh, 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.040 but I really wanted that, and then you're like, but 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:24.480 did you. 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.000 It's almost like with a job opportunity or something like 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:28.640 even if you don't really want it, but then you 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:30.600 don't get it, it makes you be like, well, but 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:31.560 why don't you give it to me? 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:33.360 Yeah? And you're like did you want it? And you're like, 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:35.520 well no, no, but I want to want me But 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.199 now I want it. I know exactly. I was listening 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:41.720 to Matthew Hussey literally talk about this yesterday in bed. 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:44.720 I roll over sometimes if I'm in the mood, I 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:46.560 put a bit of Matthew Ussy on. I'm a big fan. 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:48.440 If you guys don't know who Matthew Hussy is, give 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:50.520 him a little Google. But he's a relationship specialist. 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:52.240 Hey, we've been trying to get him on this podcast 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:54.080 for three years now. The guy wants doesn't want to 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:54.319 bar R. 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.840 I was with my friend two days ago who's brought 0:08:57.880 --> 0:08:59.400 him up in conversation, was like, I've just got a 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:01.960 message Matt. I was like who, and he's like, you know, 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.640 Matthew Ussey, And I was like, what, I want him 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:06.840 on the podcast. Let's make this happen anyway. I'm working 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:08.800 on it there with me washed his space twenty twenty three. 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:12.240 Here we come, Matthew Hussey. Yeah, I'm going to manifest it. 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:15.120 But he was saying exactly that, right. He's like, the 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:19.040 second that somebody pulls away from you, whether you like 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:21.080 them or not, is when you want them. And he 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.040 goes into it's almost like a whole ted talk, but 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.080 he makes a lot of sense and he speaks very 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.960 very clearly about it. But it is like that, it's food, 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:30.280 it's jobs, it's opportunities, it's people. 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:30.480 It's love. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.360 When we think we're not allowed to have it anymore, 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:34.960 we want it more. I am so bad to that. 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:37.720 You look at everything in my life, right, I am 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:41.640 a classic example of when I can't have something, I 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:43.440 want it more. That's why I always date people that 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:45.640 aren't here, because I want them so much more. 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:48.040 Because I'm like physically in the country. 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:51.840 If you're not physically available emotionally available, like my panties 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:55.520 are off, I'm like, dangn that is so fucking not good. 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:56.360 But it's true. 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:57.280 It's very bad. 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.160 Yeah, yeah, but what am I supposed to be about it? 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:03.840 Seeks in help Speak to Matthew Us if he came 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.720 on the podcast Seek Some Soul Searching, Self Development Help 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:08.880 Speak to a psychiatrists. 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:10.960 I don't know no, and guys, we do joke about this. 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:13.040 I do actually like the people that I date that 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:15.880 are that are not here like I'm joking and physically 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:18.120 won't be with me. No, I'm very I am obviously 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:20.440 seriously interested in them. But it is something I think 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:24.880 that we need to consider a lot more. Okay, as 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:26.800 an example of reverse, So I was seeing this guy 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:28.880 like six months ago, you know who I'm talking about. 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:33.280 I really liked him, and he at the time really 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.480 liked me. But because I liked him more like, I 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:37.920 was giving him a lot of my time, because I 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:39.600 was like, I would date this person I think like 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:41.360 I think I like this person. I gave him so 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:43.880 much of my time that he started to pull away. 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:47.120 He was like, oh, I'm just not ready. Then I 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:49.360 was like, don't have the energy for it. I'm done, 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:51.240 you know, I'm looking for relationships. So I pulled away. 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:52.959 Then all of a sudden, he came back. The second 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:54.840 I left. He was like, You're everything to me, And 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:55.240 I was like. 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.920 What the chase is so exhausting though, isn't it. 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:00.439 But because I could see it, because I'm so emotion 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:04.360 and immature and we've researched so much, I was like, 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:06.360 you don't like me actually, and he's like, no, I 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.280 do I really can we make this work? And I 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:09.800 just called him on his bluff. I was like, I'm 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:12.240 doing you a favor. I'm doing me a favor. You 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:14.920 are not interested in me. We know this because we 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.720 tried it. You just want me because now I don't 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:21.000 want you. And I don't know if that's true. Maybe 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:23.439 he does really like me, but that's what I think. 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:24.840 That's how I genuinely feel. 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:27.160 I find it's a really interesting one because I hate 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.400 that this is how we're socially conditioned, because all we're 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:32.719 doing is robbing ourselves of potentially really great partners who 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:36.400 are not only available and interested, but also reliable and 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:38.680 stable and constant. And I know that that's like not 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:41.520 the sexiest thing, because we all want like the fireworks 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:44.000 and the drama at the start. But there's something to 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.640 be said about someone who is genuinely interested in you 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.040 and is making you aware that they want to be 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:52.400 with you, like valuing your time, and it's it's so 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:56.680 shit that we often discard that person and will pursue 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:59.560 someone who makes our life so hard just because there's 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:01.080 more reward in the chase. 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:02.760 The one thing I do want to say. 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:04.800 You know, it's interesting for me though in terms of 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:08.600 like my relationship with Matt, Matt is I mean, he's 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.520 got a bit of sas to I wouldn't say he's 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.560 like such a nice guy that he's got no personality, 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:14.480 But when it comes down to being a nice guy, 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.800 like he is a nice person, like he treats me well, 0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:19.480 he is a very very nice person. 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:20.480 I would agree. 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:22.839 I would never have dated him had I not met 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:23.559 him on The Bachelor. 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:25.520 No, because he was too nice to you, and I 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:27.400 would have been like, oh my god, this guy likes 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:27.840 me too much. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:28.360 He's boring. 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:30.240 He wouldn't have fought with you or anything. He wouldn't 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.320 have argued, he wouldn't have debated. He would have been like, yes, 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:34.680 my beautiful angel, and you would have been like, ew yeah. 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:36.880 But also because he would have been so available to me. 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:39.640 But the thing about The Bachelor is that even though 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.400 we didn't have the drama in terms of like his personality, 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.760 like there was no drama in his affection for me 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:47.280 or in the time that we spent. 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:48.880 Together, but there was a hell of a lot of 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:49.720 fucking drama at. 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:51.880 The start of our relationship, Like the drama was all 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:54.320 in the fact that I didn't know whether he wanted 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.040 to be with me and I had to compete against 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:58.080 twenty four other women, Like, yes, why you were hooked? 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:01.280 It's one hundred percent, Like obviously it's wasn't the. 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:04.719 Good looks, the abs in a really nice guy, but. 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:05.680 Obviously I love the guy. 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.360 But like on the flip side to that, I can 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:11.480 fully look back on that time and go, oh, it 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:13.600 was loaded with a lot of drama. 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:15.800 Well, there's a reason. There's a book called Why Men 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.320 Love Bitches and it is a best selling book, right, 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:22.160 But it's not about women being bitches. But there's a difference. 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:25.800 It's about women being able to call bullshit, knowing their 0:13:25.840 --> 0:13:28.400 self worth, knowing when to walk away from something or 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.880 they've had enough for you, knowing their boundaries. So it's 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.640 this idea of saying you know what you're not for me, 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:35.319 I don't like the way you're acting and walking away. 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.880 That's when men are attracted to them because they're like, 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:40.480 think they're going to lose someone. So it's not the 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:42.559 idea of being a horrible and a bad boy or 0:13:42.600 --> 0:13:44.640 a bad woman or a bitch or whatever it is. 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.000 But it's I guess it's just knowing what you want 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:50.040 in your worth. But it's interesting that we still do it. 0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:53.400 We still even you and I. We've done so much 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:55.600 research on this, like four years we've been talking about 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.760 these things. We know, we know it, We've spoken to 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:01.280 the experts, but I can still see sometimes slipping into 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:05.040 my own life. I am aware, but it's funny because 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:08.400 you have to really check yourself on it, because we 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:10.320 do want the nice guy at the end of the day, Like, 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:12.600 we do want someone that treats as well. We want 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.320 someone available. We want someone nice, emotionally mature. 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.640 Yeah, and you want someone who like I don't know, 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.920 I mean like it's obviously everyone wants someone who's nice to. 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.000 Them, but like then pulls your hair in the bedroom. 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:26.040 Yeah, But also but like who is genuinely available? Like 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:28.680 who is available with their time, with their priorities, with 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:30.520 their love, with their effects, Like all that stuff is 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:31.520 so fucking important. 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:33.600 The other thing, I think, don't do this. 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:36.560 This is not what I'm suggesting, But I'm like, curious, 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:39.840 do you think it could be used as a tactic 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:43.200 to get someone to like you more? Like, for example, 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:46.280 if you're in the early stages of dating and you're 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:48.400 like caught up in the buzz of like, oh my god, 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:49.960 I want to spend every second in my day, like 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:51.480 you know, talking to this person and being with this 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.600 person because I'm just like so infatuated. Is it a 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:56.800 tactic to kind of go, hey, do you know what, 0:14:57.000 --> 0:14:59.600 like let's just see each other once this week instead 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:01.760 of like you know, three times this week or whatever 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:03.480 it is that you would want to do because you 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:05.800 want to see them whenever they're available. Is that a 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.160 way of, like, you know, one, pacing the relationship a 0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:11.640 little bit better so that way you can't be love bombed, 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:15.480 but also kind of like creating this chase in a 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:19.560 healthy way with at it becoming like this big, dramatic, unavailable, 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:20.520 toxic bullshit. 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.120 I mean yes, I think people do one hundred percent 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:24.080 use that as a tactic. 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:25.400 Hats off to you. 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:28.920 No, if you've got self control, you've got to self control. 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:30.080 You better woman than I A. 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:32.680 All right, let's get into answering or you're deep, you're dark, 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.120 and you're burning questions. 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:40.880 Question one is withholding a pregnancy deceitful? 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:42.120 From who? 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:44.880 This is where I put in music, like from your partner? 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.440 That's your question? No, there's more. Okay, I've been working 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.200 pretty hard, going above and beyond in my current role, 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:53.800