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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers.

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Speaker 2: Now, the biggest impediment to being present is exhaustion, burnout, overwhelmed.

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Speaker 2: There's just so much to do, and my head is

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Speaker 2: in those fourteen other places.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 2: Hello, this is stopped Justin Coilson from Happy Families dot com

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Speaker 2: dot au and Channel.

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Speaker 3: Nine's Parental Guidance.

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Speaker 2: I'm here with Kylie mum to our six kids and

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Speaker 2: Kylie school holidays.

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Speaker 3: We're only a couple of weeks away. How fast has.

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Speaker 2: Termed two gone? We're nearly halfway through the year. It's unbelievable.

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Speaker 4: It feels like it's gone really fast, and it feels

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Speaker 4: like it's been the longest six months of our life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the days are slow, but it's still times it

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Speaker 2: flies by. We're excited to share something with you though,

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Speaker 2: for today's podcast, about how we can make the most

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Speaker 2: of most moments. Every now and again, we get so

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Speaker 2: caught up in the thick of thin things that the

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Speaker 2: things that matter most end up being at the mercy

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Speaker 2: of the things that matter least. And so we thought

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Speaker 2: that today we'd help you to keep the main thing

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Speaker 2: the main thing, because that's the main thing, by talking

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Speaker 2: about how we can be present, how it can be

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Speaker 2: in the moment, and to do so. I want to

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Speaker 2: start off with this quote that I found from Leo Tolstoy.

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Speaker 2: It's a quote that really emphasizes what we're trying to

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Speaker 2: do if we want to make the most of our moments.

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Speaker 2: Tolstoy said, remember, then, there is only one time that

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Speaker 2: is important now. It is the most important time because

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Speaker 2: it is the only time when we have any power.

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Speaker 4: That is probably one of the most profound things I've

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Speaker 4: heard in quite some time, because we spend most of

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Speaker 4: our time either regretting what we didn't do or what

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Speaker 4: we have just.

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Speaker 2: Done yeah, think about the past, yeah, or we're.

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Speaker 4: Worried about what needs to happen in the future. Right

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Speaker 4: in any given moment, I will be sitting at the

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Speaker 4: table and I'm eating breakfast, but I'm actually thinking about

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Speaker 4: the big to do list I have for the day. Sure,

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Speaker 4: or I'm driving the kids to school, but I'm not

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Speaker 4: actually with them in that moment, because I know that

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Speaker 4: in order to maximize the hours I have without them,

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Speaker 4: I need to do X Y and Z before I

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Speaker 4: pick them up again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be in the car. Well, actually, do you

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Speaker 2: know sometimes it's this bad. I can't believe I'm confessing

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Speaker 2: to this, But sometimes I've got the option of going

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Speaker 2: and doing something with either you or the kids, Like

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Speaker 2: I've got to go and run an errand and I'd

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Speaker 2: be like, Hey, does anyone want to come with me?

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Speaker 2: But then before I ask the question, I think no,

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Speaker 2: because if I don't take anyone with me, I get

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Speaker 2: to listen to a podcast. It's in the car and

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Speaker 2: listen to a podcast. And so there's all this, and

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Speaker 2: what a what a waste? Like, what a what a

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Speaker 2: wasted opportunity to be in the moment and make a

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Speaker 2: connection with somebody. So Tolstoy's quote, the moment that matters

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Speaker 2: is now.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: Obviously, we can focus on the future, and we can

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Speaker 2: plan for the future and help the future to be better,

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Speaker 2: and we can consider the past and learn from it

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Speaker 2: and make the present and the future better as a result.

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Speaker 3: But the general idea here is, if you.

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Speaker 2: Want to make the most of most moments, be where

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Speaker 2: your feet are, make sure your head is in the

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Speaker 2: same place as your feed. Make sure your head is

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Speaker 2: not three chores down the list, are halfway across the

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Speaker 2: city or the suburb in which you live, because you

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Speaker 2: know you have to go there soon. Just be here,

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Speaker 2: Just be now. That seems to be what I think

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Speaker 2: might be the most universal and helpful way that we

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Speaker 2: can make the most of every moment.

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Speaker 4: Well, I love that, And I think the second thing

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Speaker 4: that I would suggest is sometimes we just need to

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Speaker 4: let go of the agenda. We get really caught up

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Speaker 4: in what we should be doing, when at times it

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Speaker 4: may actually just be of benefit to everyone to just

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Speaker 4: slow things down.

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Speaker 2: So the other night, it's a.

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Speaker 3: Really hard thing.

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Speaker 2: By the way, before you go on with that, let

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Speaker 2: go of the agenda. I'm a very agenda driven person.

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Speaker 2: I love how you're laughing at me for saying that

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Speaker 2: there's stuff to do and we've got to stay on track.

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Speaker 2: I'm totally fine with flexibility, and I'm not hard caught.

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Speaker 2: It's seven oh two and we should have moved from

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Speaker 2: the third thing.

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Speaker 3: This morning to the fourth thing this morning.

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Speaker 2: Not hardcore like that, But there is an agenda, and

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Speaker 2: we need to keep things moving forward momentum. Let's not

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Speaker 2: be late, let's not ruin everyone else's day. We need

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Speaker 2: to be considered of other people's needs. Let's make this

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Speaker 2: stuff happen. You're not quite as what you're saying here

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Speaker 2: is maybe the agenda doesn't need to be adhered to

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Speaker 2: quite so rigidly.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not suggesting all the time, but if bedtime

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Speaker 4: is seven o'clock and at six point fifty, you can

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Speaker 4: see that the kids are all sitting at the dining

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Speaker 4: table with you, and you're playing monopoly or.

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Speaker 2: Whatever whatever, g having a great conversation.

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Speaker 4: Or you might be having a conversation, or it hasn't.

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Speaker 3: Come out of the freezer yet.

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Speaker 4: It's just you. You can feel there's this beautiful bond happening.

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Speaker 4: Then why would you stop that just because the routine

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Speaker 4: says that at seven o'clock everything's got to be done

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Speaker 4: and dusted and we're supposed to be in abajamas in bed.

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Speaker 2: Because you know that the kids are going to be

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Speaker 2: terrible tomorrow if you don't do it.

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Speaker 4: Something suggesting you have to do two hours of it,

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Speaker 4: but just letting it just kind of, you know, end

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Speaker 4: naturally is so much nicer. The kids hate it when

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Speaker 4: you wake them up in the morning, and it's just

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Speaker 4: that instant abrup turn the lights on, everything's done. Those

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Speaker 4: transitions matter, And so for me when I see that,

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Speaker 4: you know we're having this beautiful moment, I just want

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Speaker 4: to I want to live in that moment for just

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Speaker 4: a little bit longer, because they don't last long enough

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Speaker 4: a lot of the time.

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Speaker 2: Which kind of goes back to that first point that

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Speaker 2: I made again, and that is you've got to be

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Speaker 2: sufficiently aware and have the willingness to be flexible on it.

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Speaker 2: But awareness and being present. Awareness and being present is

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Speaker 2: how you really make the most of the moment. You're

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Speaker 2: not being reactive, you're not chasing the agenda, you're not

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Speaker 2: doing this stuff that just has to be done. You're

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Speaker 2: actually saying, I'm committed to hear, I'm committed to now,

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Speaker 2: I'm present, I'm taking it in, I'm focused and intentional.

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Speaker 2: When you do that, you're going to make more of

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Speaker 2: the moment than you would otherwise.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think just a flow on for that

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Speaker 4: is being open to spontaneity. It's one thing that we

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Speaker 4: have at times been brilliant at and other times we've

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Speaker 4: been very very agenda focused. But you wake up on

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Speaker 4: Saturday morning, the sun is just beaming, and you know

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Speaker 4: that a day down at the beach is going to

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Speaker 4: be amazing. But you've got house cleaning planned, and you've

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Speaker 4: got other things that you need to take care of.

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Speaker 4: What are you going to choose?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm choosing the beach.

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Speaker 2: But a few years ago I probably wouldn't have Maybe

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Speaker 2: ten or fifteen years ago, I would have said, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: we can have fun once we've done the important things,

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Speaker 2: because it's so important that the car gets washed, or

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Speaker 2: that the lawns get mowed or the washing gets done.

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Speaker 2: And of course, over time we start to realize that

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Speaker 2: the important stuff is not necessarily the important stuff. After

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Speaker 2: the break, we're going to talk about Kylie's favorite way

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Speaker 2: to be more present, to be more aware, to let

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Speaker 2: go of the agenda and be in the moment, to

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Speaker 2: make the most of the moment. In just a set,

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Speaker 2: just when you think you've got this parenting gignailed, your

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Speaker 2: child hits some new milestone that leaves you figuratively banging

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Speaker 2: your head against the wall. You wonder, where's the instruction manual?

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Speaker 2: Your growth guide? Is that instruction manual a webinar outlining

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Speaker 2: basic milestones so you know where your child's at, where

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Speaker 2: they're going, and what you can expect get insights, reassurance

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Speaker 2: and support from your growth guide, available online at happy

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Speaker 2: families dot com dot au.

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Speaker 4: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 4: poor parent who just wants answers Now. You know, as

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Speaker 4: a parent can be really hard to take in all

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Speaker 4: of the moments and to really be where your feet are.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's exhausting.

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Speaker 2: In fact, I reckon this is not something that we

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Speaker 2: had written down before, but just as I think about it,

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Speaker 2: the biggest impediment to being present is exhaustion, burnout, overwhelm.

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Speaker 2: There's just so much to do and my head is

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Speaker 2: in those fourteen other places. Another one is social media screens.

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Speaker 2: That's a massive impediment to actually really enjoying the moment.

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Speaker 2: It takes you away from the moment, takes you into

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Speaker 2: this screen and you don't even notice what's going on,

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Speaker 2: which goes back to the awareness thing. But you've got

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Speaker 2: one thing that you mentioned to me before we started

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Speaker 2: to record this podcast, and I thought that that's what

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Speaker 2: we've got to finish on. That's the thing that helps

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Speaker 2: you to bring it all together. What's your favorite idea

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Speaker 2: when it comes to being in the moment.

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Speaker 4: For me, the number one thing that just brings everything

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Speaker 4: back full circle, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything,

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Speaker 4: is just gratitude. Taking opportunities sit around the table with

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Speaker 4: everybody at the end of the day and share and

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Speaker 4: express the things that we're grateful for, because so often

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Speaker 4: you miss the moments and it's through each other's perspectives

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Speaker 4: that you gain you gain them back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that you've said that.

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Speaker 2: I think about those times where we're sitting at the

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Speaker 2: table and we say, so, what was good in your

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Speaker 2: day or what were you great and one of the

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Speaker 2: kids and it doesn't happen all the time, like please don't.

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Speaker 3: Think our kids are deep or insightful or always.

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Speaker 2: Finding the magic moment in the day, But every so

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Speaker 2: often one of them will say, I really appreciate it today.

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Speaker 2: And then they'll say this thing, and you'll be like,

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Speaker 2: I was there and I totally missed that, or I

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Speaker 2: was there and I failed to appreciate it. I saw

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Speaker 2: it happen, I registered, but I didn't consider the magnitude,

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Speaker 2: the meaning, the purpose, the value in that moment. And

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Speaker 2: then you hear that child recite to you how that

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Speaker 2: was the best part of their day, and you kind

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Speaker 2: of go, Oh, I need to be in the moment more.

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Speaker 2: I've got to pay attention to this stuff because this

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Speaker 2: is where life happens.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it.

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Speaker 2: Look, there's probably a handful of other things that we

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Speaker 2: could talk about in terms of being in the moment.

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Speaker 2: We could talk about mindfulness, we can talk about granting techniques,

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Speaker 2: we can talk about all.

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Speaker 3: That sort of stuff. We can talk about self.

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Speaker 2: Care and looking after yourself so that you're well enough emotionally, psychologically,

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Speaker 2: or physically to be in the moment. But most people

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Speaker 2: know that, and even just that quick mention of it

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Speaker 2: is probably enough to give you the memory job. But

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Speaker 2: today we want to encourage you to just be present,

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Speaker 2: be aware, be in the moment, Focus on here and

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Speaker 2: now because here and now is what you've got. Be

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Speaker 2: where your feet are, Let go of the agenda, especially

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Speaker 2: when things are going well so long as it's not going.

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Speaker 3: To totally derail your.

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Speaker 2: Day, and focus on gratitude because gratitude forces you to

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Speaker 2: be present. It forces you to pay attention and recognize

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Speaker 2: what's going on in your life. We hope that this

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Speaker 2: is a helpful handful of hints to help you to

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Speaker 2: be more present in your day to day with your kids.

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Speaker 2: The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rulan from

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Speaker 2: Bridge Media. We appreciate you, Justin, and we also very

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Speaker 2: much appreciate Greate Bruce, our executive producer, for his assistance

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Speaker 2: in making the podcast sound great. If you'd like more

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Speaker 2: information about how you can make your family happier, we've

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Speaker 2: got this awesome thing called a Happy Family's membership. We

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Speaker 2: would love for you to join us be a part

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Speaker 2: of what we do at Happy Families. Make your family

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Speaker 2: happier for as little as the team dollars a month,

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Speaker 2: or eighteen dollars for a Happy Family's Premium membership And

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Speaker 2: if you want more info about the podcast, making a

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Speaker 2: Happy Family or a membership, you can find it at

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Speaker 2: happyfamilies dot com dot a