Speaker 1: Did you know that being self compassionate doesn't mean taking
Speaker 1: a bubble bath or awkwardly scheduling aside time to relax
Speaker 1: and try yourself. In fact, there are some simple strategies
Speaker 1: you can use to show yourself self compassion that could
Speaker 1: drastically influence your happiness and productivity. Professor Kristin Neff is
Speaker 1: a pioneer in the study of self compassion, and her
Speaker 1: work in the field and multiple best selling books on
Speaker 1: the topic have seen her become recognized as one of
Speaker 1: the most influential people in the field of psychology. So
Speaker 1: I caught up with her to get some insight on
Speaker 1: how we can all be more self compassionate. Welcome to
Speaker 1: How I Work, a show about habits, rituals, and strategies
Speaker 1: for optimizing your day. I'm your host, doctor Amantha Imber.
Speaker 1: On today's quick Win episode, we go back to any
Speaker 1: to be from the past and I pick out a
Speaker 1: quick win that you can apply today. When I spoke
Speaker 1: to Professor Kristin Neff, she spoke about the power of
Speaker 1: taking a self compassion break to work through problems and
Speaker 1: challenges that we might be struggling with to help us
Speaker 1: better understand it Kristin actually gave us a real time
Speaker 1: walk through of a self compassion break so that we
Speaker 1: can listen and apply it to ourselves.
Speaker 2: All Right, So we might want to close your eyes.
Speaker 2: You don't have to close your eyes in real life,
Speaker 2: but it helps, especially in this context, to go inward. Okay,
Speaker 2: And so I'd invite you to think about something in
Speaker 2: your life that's troubling you or causing you stress. Perhaps
Speaker 2: it is something to work, some stress or you're experiencing,
Speaker 2: or maybe you've made some mistake or feel like a
Speaker 2: failure at something. It also might be in your personal
Speaker 2: life or relationship issue, or even be a health issue.
Speaker 2: I would invite people with this not to think of
Speaker 2: anything that's too stressful or overwhelming, because if you're overwhelmed,
Speaker 2: you're even going to be able to learn the practice.
Speaker 2: So choose something that's mild to moderately distressing. Call the
Speaker 2: situation to mind, what's happening, what's going on? See if
Speaker 2: you can feel the discomfort of what's happening in your body.
Speaker 2: Notice usually those feelings of contraction or unease. Well, bring
Speaker 2: in mindfulness, just to become aware of and be present
Speaker 2: with the fact that it's hard to be feeling this
Speaker 2: or it's hard to be in this situation. I'm hurting.
Speaker 2: We don't want to ignore it. The other hand, we
Speaker 2: don't want to lose ourself with it. We just want
Speaker 2: to see it, be with it as it is. This
Speaker 2: is hard. And also to remember that things like this
Speaker 2: they're part of being human. There are probably literally millions
Speaker 2: of people experiencing something similar. You know, some worse, maybe
Speaker 2: not as bad. But the point is mainly that you
Speaker 2: are a human being. This is part of the shared
Speaker 2: human experience. You are not alone. There's nothing wrong with
Speaker 2: you or whatever it is you're worried about or thinking about.
Speaker 2: And this is part for the course, it's part of
Speaker 2: being a human being. We make mistakes, we struggle, stuff happens.
Speaker 2: You aren't perfect, No one's perfect, no one's life is perfect.
Speaker 2: Knowing about you too, go ahead and put maybe both
Speaker 2: hands on your heart, or full your arms, or maybe
Speaker 2: cradle your face, use some sort of physical gesture. It
Speaker 2: really brings some physical warmth and support to yourself. Express
Speaker 2: our kindness through touch and also any words of support,
Speaker 2: kindness and encouragement that are exactly what you need to
Speaker 2: hear right now, whatever your situation is, you know, perhaps
Speaker 2: it's something like you're doing the best you can, or
Speaker 2: you've got this, I'm here for you, I won't abandon you.
Speaker 2: What do you need? And in fact, you might imagine
Speaker 2: what you would say to a friend who is in
Speaker 2: the exact same situation you were, maybe easier to think
Speaker 2: of the appropriate thing to say. If you think of
Speaker 2: what if you had a good friend it was in
Speaker 2: the exact same situation you were, would you say to
Speaker 2: be supportive and kind and helpful, encouraging, maybe just validating,
Speaker 2: and then see if you can see something similar to yourself. Okay,
Speaker 2: then you can open your eyes. So we did a
Speaker 2: slightly longer one to show the steps, but you can
Speaker 2: do it really quick.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this little quick win with Professor
Speaker 1: Kristen Deff. If you would like to listen to the
Speaker 1: full interview, you can find a link to that in
Speaker 1: the show notes. If you like today's show, make sure
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Speaker 1: when new episodes drop. How I Work was recorded on
Speaker 1: the traditional land of the Warrangery People, part of the
Speaker 1: Cooler Nation