Speaker 1: Hi, guys and all, welcome back to another episode of
Speaker 1: Life on Cut. Now. It might be a bit confusing
Speaker 1: to some of you because it's a Wednesday and not
Speaker 1: a Tuesday, but we have a very very very special
Speaker 1: bonus episode for you all today and we are so
Speaker 1: excited to bring you this. But before we get into it,
Speaker 1: I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and god, we do love
Speaker 1: a bonus episode, don't we, Laura, We've been thrown about left,
Speaker 1: right and center lately. But the reason why we're bringing
Speaker 1: you this bonus episode is because a few weeks ago
Speaker 1: now you might remember, before we went on to Break,
Speaker 1: britt and I did an Ask Uncut episode and we
Speaker 1: spoke about a woman who was asking about labiaplasty. After
Speaker 1: that episode, we had hundreds of you message arson slide
Speaker 1: on into our DMS to tell us that we needed
Speaker 1: to interview Ellie from Comfortable in My Skin Now. Ellie
Speaker 1: is a photographer. She is a wonderful, warm woman who
Speaker 1: spends her days photographing volvers. The reason why she photographs
Speaker 1: a whole variety of different women's volvers is because she
Speaker 1: is working to destigmatize conversations around body acceptance. Conversations around
Speaker 1: LaBier acceptance, and also conversations around menstruation and just all
Speaker 1: things that we as women experience but maybe feel too
Speaker 1: self conscious to talk about. Before we do jump into that,
Speaker 1: we do want to just thank our sponsor, which is
Speaker 1: Bond's Bloody Comfy period Undiase. I think it's just the
Speaker 1: absolute perfect time because periods can be uncomfortable. We do
Speaker 1: want to make sure we are at the most comfortable
Speaker 1: that we could possibly be, and Bonds Bloody Comfy Undies
Speaker 1: do that. They're environmentally friendly, they're easy to watch and reuse,
Speaker 1: and they hold up to four tampons worth. As women,
Speaker 1: a lot of us use non reusable sanitary items, whether
Speaker 1: it be tampons or pads, and the statistics around the
Speaker 1: number of those in landfill every year are just absolutely
Speaker 1: mind blowing. So three hundred million tampons are sold in
Speaker 1: Australia every single year and five hundred million pads are
Speaker 1: sold every single year and every single one of those
Speaker 1: ends up in landfill, which is just crazy. Now, Brett,
Speaker 1: before we get into speaking to Ellie, I have a
Speaker 1: question for you. What is your opinion? And we have Okay,
Speaker 1: we speak about so much in this podcast. We have
Speaker 1: shared so much and I actually can't believe that we
Speaker 1: haven't covered this yet. So I'm going to throw you
Speaker 1: straight in. They want to know your personal views on this.
Speaker 1: What is your opinion on sex during your period? We
Speaker 1: actually haven't talked about this, now that you say it,
Speaker 1: my ideas around sex with my period, I think it
Speaker 1: is absolutely fine. I actually and I mean it depends
Speaker 1: what your period is like for yourself. Some people's periods
Speaker 1: are so painful and so heavy that the last thing
Speaker 1: they want to do is have a penis come anywhere
Speaker 1: near them. For me, I love it. You're like, bring
Speaker 1: that penis that made my period. I'm very lucky. I
Speaker 1: don't get it heavy enough to be in a lot
Speaker 1: of pain, and I get like one day where I'm
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and that's it. I've been very lucky with my
Speaker 1: periods in that sense. So I love sex on my period.
Speaker 1: I probably get HORNI or on sex my period, and
Speaker 1: I've heard a lot of women say that, and I
Speaker 1: think it's just up to your partner. I think you
Speaker 1: just have to throw it out there and say, hey,
Speaker 1: like I'm horny, you want to do this? And I
Speaker 1: can guarantee ninety nine point nine percent of men are
Speaker 1: probably gonna be like hells, yeah, yeah. I mean I've
Speaker 1: definitely dated some guys who are not into it, who
Speaker 1: aren't interested in having sex during like when I'm on
Speaker 1: my period, when I have my period. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, it almost makes me mad at them, Like
Speaker 1: and I know that that's not fair. I know that
Speaker 1: everybody has a choice and it's completely up to them,
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm like, this is something
Speaker 1: that is so incredibly normal. It happens to me every
Speaker 1: fucking month. Why not. I mean, there's a ways around it,
Speaker 1: of course, Like there's some tips and techniques that you
Speaker 1: could probably implement if you don't want to ruin your sheets.
Speaker 1: If you do the math, I'm just gonna quickly do
Speaker 1: it here right now. If you're doing one week a month,
Speaker 1: so that is three months worth of you not having
Speaker 1: sex or not being able to have sex a year,
Speaker 1: and that is too much. That is too long for me.
Speaker 1: I'm all for it. I don't think it's a problem,
Speaker 1: but obviously your partner has to be on board. You
Speaker 1: are absolutely robbing yourself if you don't have sex during
Speaker 1: your period. And I know that a lot of girls
Speaker 1: will maybe have sex at the very beginning or at
Speaker 1: the end where their flow is lighter. But for me,
Speaker 1: I don't think that that really makes a difference because
Speaker 1: usually if I'm having sex at the end of my period,
Speaker 1: when my flow is lighter, it just brings that bad
Speaker 1: boy back on. I mean, you can also just have
Speaker 1: sex in a shower if you like, which I think
Speaker 1: is great anyway. But the fact of the matter is this,
Speaker 1: I know this is what it is for me, and
Speaker 1: I know this is for a lot of people because
Speaker 1: we've done the research. It can actually relieve symptoms. It
Speaker 1: can make you feel better, It can help with cramps,
Speaker 1: it can help with headaches, and there are a lot
Speaker 1: of articles on that. And I personally know that when
Speaker 1: I have had cramps for whatever reason, sex has made
Speaker 1: me feel better. And don't I don't know why. I
Speaker 1: don't know what kind of witchcraft and wizardary that is,
Speaker 1: but that's what's been happening to me. Don't let anyone
Speaker 1: here think that we don't do our thorough research before
Speaker 1: doing these episodes. But there are actually some differ Oh,
Speaker 1: I had a lot of sex to do this research.
Speaker 1: I put the research in. No worry, Okay, so there
Speaker 1: are actually a few health benefits or benefits of having
Speaker 1: sex during your period, which if your partner or whoever
Speaker 1: you're dating or seeing or whatever doesn't want to have
Speaker 1: sex during your period, you can now whip these out
Speaker 1: and be like I think we should. It's actually better
Speaker 1: for me. Just linked in this episode, having sex in
Speaker 1: your period, it can actually make your period shorter. So
Speaker 1: having sex may make your period shorter because the muscles
Speaker 1: contract during an orgasm and actually pushes out the uterine
Speaker 1: contents faster. Which is kind of the same and this
Speaker 1: is going to be a bit too much information for
Speaker 1: some people, but when you breastfeed after having a baby,
Speaker 1: it actually makes your uterus contract and that's what makes
Speaker 1: your uterus gow back down to size faster. So every
Speaker 1: time you breastfeed often you'll have these they're quite painful.
Speaker 1: You'll have these painful contractions that happen at the very
Speaker 1: first couple of weeks after having a baby, and that's
Speaker 1: actually your uterus going back down to the original size.
Speaker 1: It helps to release hormones which contracts your uterus. Now
Speaker 1: a similar things happened during orgasm as well, which is
Speaker 1: why some people can have a little bit of pain
Speaker 1: after having an orgasm in their uterus. So it also
Speaker 1: increases your sex drive. Your libido can change during menstruation,
Speaker 1: which is because of hormone of fluctuations. It's a natural lubricant,
Speaker 1: so like, don't be scared, ladies. And also it can
Speaker 1: help to relieve headaches because of releasing endorphins. So if
Speaker 1: you've been sitting on the fence, you've been scared, or
Speaker 1: you've been embarrassed, gon't give it a crack. Do you
Speaker 1: ever find it embarrassing, brit Like, is that something that
Speaker 1: ever worries you? Or is it just doesn't even come
Speaker 1: onto your radar, not at all. It doesn't. It literally
Speaker 1: doesn't even cross my mind because it's such a natural thing.
Speaker 1: And I wonder if this is something maybe that has
Speaker 1: come with age, because we didn't speak about it a
Speaker 1: lot when we were younger, these sort of conversations they
Speaker 1: weren't being had, so nobody really went and spoke to
Speaker 1: each other about their periods, and we didn't have other
Speaker 1: women that we look up to that we're talking about
Speaker 1: the fact that they go and have sex on the period,
Speaker 1: or that this has happened, or that they've walked through
Speaker 1: the park and they've had blood on their pants. You know,
Speaker 1: these sorts of conversations weren't being had, and periods were
Speaker 1: essentially tied to embarrassing moments. I just don't feel like
Speaker 1: that's the case anymore. So for me, I'm super open
Speaker 1: about it. I would just be like, I'm on my period.
Speaker 1: You want to have sex? Jordan will be like, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: I don't get yeah. And Matt, Actually though, I think
Speaker 1: when Matt and I first started dating, I don't think
Speaker 1: that it was something that he not that he cared
Speaker 1: and not that he was like, you know, no, we're
Speaker 1: not going to do it, but it was definitely not
Speaker 1: I think he would have a little bit more of
Speaker 1: an adversion to it. I think he would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I prefer not I could wait. But I really hate
Speaker 1: that mentality. And it's not like a pressurey meant having
Speaker 1: sex with me or anything, but like, we have had
Speaker 1: conversations about it, and he has become way more open
Speaker 1: to it and way more understanding. I think that for
Speaker 1: some guys, it is a conversation that hasn't been had
Speaker 1: because maybe they're ex girlfriends or other people that they've
Speaker 1: had sex with in the past have been too scared
Speaker 1: to have that conversation, too embarrassed, and so therefore they
Speaker 1: have this idea that like, oh, I'm not supposed to,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't. Then there's a little bit of fear factor there.
Speaker 1: But you're so right, like having a period is not
Speaker 1: something that you should be embarrassed about having to, you know,
Speaker 1: have a conversation about having your periods is not something
Speaker 1: that you should be embarrassed about. So I do think
Speaker 1: that like maybe it's an age thing as well, and
Speaker 1: as you become more comfortable in your own body, that
Speaker 1: having those conversations with your partner may become easier as well.
Speaker 1: If anything, Jordan's probably distoked because he knows I can't
Speaker 1: get pregnant at that time. Hey, so no, that is
Speaker 1: a complete misconception. You clearly didn't do her research. I know,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that it's not your one omulation day,
Speaker 1: So I'm confused. Actually, do you know what you can?
Speaker 1: But look, I mean it's meant to be incredibly unlikely
Speaker 1: that you can get pregnant during a period, But I think,
Speaker 1: like with all things, or on the side of caution,
Speaker 1: you also can get pregnant from the pull out method.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you that ladies, gentlemen, and everybody, Okay,
Speaker 1: while it's also extremely unlikely, I did do my research
Speaker 1: on this. The simple answer is, yes, you can still
Speaker 1: get pregnant when you have your period. Women are not
Speaker 1: able to conceive whilst they have the period, but sperm
Speaker 1: can survive with this is I'm reading this, guys. Sperm
Speaker 1: can survive within the female reproductive system for up to
Speaker 1: five days, which means that there is a tiny, minuscule
Speaker 1: fraction of a chance that women who do have a
Speaker 1: small chance of becoming pregnant from unprotected sex during this time.
Speaker 1: So I would just say, maybe it's not worth risking
Speaker 1: it for the biscuit in this instance, Like if your
Speaker 1: pint has got some sperm, it's like a real hanger
Speaker 1: on her own is sitting in there for like ten days,
Speaker 1: God help him. That's Maths, You're a risk, Matts. This
Speaker 1: is just like gone for goal, hangs around. Mats just
Speaker 1: hangs around for a month. I have been I have
Speaker 1: been pregnant more in our relationship than I have not
Speaker 1: been pregnant. That's literally where I'm at right now. That's
Speaker 1: insane anyway, guys. So we absolutely loved this chat with
Speaker 1: Ellie and thank you to every single person who recommended her,
Speaker 1: and I mean, I honestly cannot tell you it was
Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds of you. This is a conversation all
Speaker 1: around just having more acceptance of your own vulva. And
Speaker 1: when we say vulva, we do actually get Ellie to
Speaker 1: unpack what that means, because I know that there is
Speaker 1: probably going to be some people who probably may have
Speaker 1: not even heard of that term before. A lot of
Speaker 1: people would refer to it as a vagina. We're calling
Speaker 1: it a vulver because that is what is anatomically correct
Speaker 1: in this conversation. The reason why we wanted to have
Speaker 1: this conversation is because there's still so much stigma around
Speaker 1: what your vulgar should look like or could look like.
Speaker 1: And I think that there's a comparison that happens even
Speaker 1: though we probably don't have a very good idea about
Speaker 1: what our friend's vulva looks like or what is normal
Speaker 1: on that spectrum. So I think in order for us
Speaker 1: to be more accepting and to be able to love
Speaker 1: ourselves a little bit more, this conversation is really going
Speaker 1: to help a lot of people. If you've ever thought
Speaker 1: about having Laby aplasty. If you've ever ever had a
Speaker 1: moment where you've thought like, ah, fuck, you know I
Speaker 1: don't like my vagina the way it is, or I
Speaker 1: don't like my vulva the way it is, then this
Speaker 1: is one hundred percent a conversation for you, and I
Speaker 1: really hope that you walk away from it feeling incredibly empowered.
Speaker 1: Today we have the woman from behind the camera and
Speaker 1: the vulver and the creator flipped through my flaps and
Speaker 1: comfortable in my skin. Ellie, Welcome to Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: Thanks girls, I'm so happy to be here and be
Speaker 2: a part of your podcast.
Speaker 3: It's an absolute on us.
Speaker 1: We're so so excited to have you. And I know
Speaker 1: I mentioned this earlier, but when we did an ask
Speaker 1: Guncut section, this is going back quite a few weeks now,
Speaker 1: and it was from somebody who had written in in
Speaker 1: regards to Lavia plasty. And I cannot tell you how
Speaker 1: many of our listeners sent me your Instagram, sent me
Speaker 1: your details and said you have to get Ellie onto
Speaker 1: the podcast. So it is truly just like such a
Speaker 1: joy that you have joined us to do this today,
Speaker 1: and we have so many questions for you. But before
Speaker 1: we get into that, We do a section on every
Speaker 1: single podcast episode with every single guest, and it's called
Speaker 1: Accidentally Unfiltered, and that is where you tell us your
Speaker 1: most embarrassing story, and it's very relatable, it's very humanizing,
Speaker 1: and we all laugh at you together with you're at you,
Speaker 1: no with and at it's both with and at Well.
Speaker 2: I have a story, but I was thinking, it's not
Speaker 2: totally embarrassing for me, but this just happened last night,
Speaker 2: and so I was thinking.
Speaker 3: It's pretty beautiful what actually happened.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't know, I just want
Speaker 2: to tell this story because it's just happened. About two
Speaker 2: weeks ago, ended up hooking up with an Israelian guy
Speaker 2: and they're so hot.
Speaker 3: They're so hot.
Speaker 2: We decided to meet up again, and so we went
Speaker 2: out to a bar in Byron Bay, and while I
Speaker 2: was there with him and a few other friends, I
Speaker 2: actually met a girl there playing pool and her and
Speaker 2: I hit it off straight away. Then my roommate invited
Speaker 2: both of them back with a few other people. So
Speaker 2: I was just in all sorts because I was like.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, how am I going to do with this?
Speaker 1: What am I going to do?
Speaker 2: Because I connected a lot more with her. But anyway,
Speaker 2: I was kind of on a date with this Israelian guy,
Speaker 2: and so we get back to our house and she's
Speaker 2: telling me that she had never been with a girl
Speaker 2: before and that she was really nervous.
Speaker 3: And anyway, so we ended up going to this.
Speaker 2: Room and mak him out and kissing, and then I
Speaker 2: said to her, you know what, this is probably not
Speaker 2: the best time for you to have your first experience
Speaker 2: with a girl, because I absolutely wasted and I've Israelian
Speaker 2: guy waiting there for me, so it's a bit sneaky, weird.
Speaker 2: And then anyway, she was super, super embarrassed about the
Speaker 2: whole situation, and I think she maybe felt like I'd
Speaker 2: sent her home, but I was like, no, I just
Speaker 2: don't want your first experience with a girl to be
Speaker 2: like this, That's all it is. And then last night
Speaker 2: I'm sitting there at dinner at this restaurant and I
Speaker 2: see her walk in with a friend and she sits
Speaker 2: at the table behind me. And as this happened, I
Speaker 2: was showing my friend her Instagram on my page, like oh,
Speaker 2: when she walked in, I was going like, she's so beautiful,
Speaker 2: and we were looking at her eyes, zooming in on
Speaker 2: her eyes and anyway, suddenly I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: she's right behind you. She's right behind you.
Speaker 3: She's just walked in.
Speaker 2: And my friend Lulie's going, well, say hi, say hi,
Speaker 2: don't be so awkward, and I was like, okay, just
Speaker 2: give me a minute. I need to calm down because
Speaker 2: I was feeling weird that I was showing her page.
Speaker 2: And then she sits down, and as soon as her
Speaker 2: friend sits down, she goes.
Speaker 3: So friend says to her, so show me this girl
Speaker 3: that you hook up on. Yes.
Speaker 2: At this exact same time, Lily still has my phone
Speaker 2: with her profile up. She pulls up, well, actually she
Speaker 2: was taking screen grabs, so she'd screen grabbed from my Instagram.
Speaker 2: She was just in her photos, not on my Insta,
Speaker 2: and she's going through all these photos talking about me.
Speaker 2: And it was such a weird situation because this is
Speaker 2: something you do with your girlfriends all the time. But
Speaker 2: I was watching it happen to me in front of me,
Speaker 2: and I could hear everything she was saying and she
Speaker 2: was zooming in on everything, and I was.
Speaker 3: Like, it was such a weird, weird experience.
Speaker 2: She was like zooming in on my breast because I
Speaker 2: have really lost tits, and she's going, you.
Speaker 3: Know, they're just so big.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know what to do with them and all
Speaker 2: this stuff because she's never been with a girl.
Speaker 1: Is that what she said, Ellie? Did she say? I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with that?
Speaker 3: She zoomed in on my breast. I was in a
Speaker 3: bikini in the date.
Speaker 2: She forest this photo that she'd taken and she's zoomed
Speaker 2: in on my breast and she goes, they're just so big.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't know what to do with them.
Speaker 1: This is outrageous. So hang on, I need to know
Speaker 1: what happened with this girl. You're crushing on her. She's
Speaker 1: a table away crushing on you. Neither of you know
Speaker 1: what's happening. Did you speak to the girl? Are you
Speaker 1: getting married and doing it happily ever after? Because I
Speaker 1: feel like the universe has just thrown you two together.
Speaker 3: That's exactly what That's.
Speaker 2: How I felt. I'm so such a big believer of
Speaker 2: letting the universe. Guy, do you like I have total
Speaker 2: faith that the universe knows.
Speaker 3: What's up for me?
Speaker 1: I absolutely do too.
Speaker 2: I was saying, my friend, Okay, I've kind of let
Speaker 2: this go on for too long that now when I
Speaker 2: say something, she's going.
Speaker 3: To be like, why didn't you say high earlier? Because
Speaker 3: I was listening and I was loving it.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is the dream, Like you get
Speaker 2: to hear everything that someone has to say about you.
Speaker 1: But imagine if it wasn't good. Imagine if it was
Speaker 1: just like you were listening to someone say something awful.
Speaker 1: How awkward would that be?
Speaker 3: I know?
Speaker 1: Or even like when you use show your friends like
Speaker 1: a photo of guy and you're like, oh, oh, he's
Speaker 1: much better looking than that, that's not his best photo,
Speaker 1: and then you're like ten like you're like ten years
Speaker 1: deep in their profile trying to find the best photo
Speaker 1: of them. He's really hot in person. I swear so
Speaker 1: hot in person, and you.
Speaker 2: Know where they all are, you know where the best
Speaker 2: photos are on their whole grid.
Speaker 1: So what happened, Well, I was quite like you said.
Speaker 2: Then I ended up saying her name and she died.
Speaker 2: She was mortified, She was horrified. She was so embarrassed.
Speaker 2: She was like fanning her face nonstuff, and I just
Speaker 2: said it's fun.
Speaker 3: I joined her. I said, why don't we all just.
Speaker 2: Join tables like we may as well, this is just
Speaker 2: two walker, we're sitting too close to each other, just
Speaker 2: not join. And then we ended up going out to
Speaker 2: a bar and yeah, we ended up going home together
Speaker 2: at the end of the night.
Speaker 1: That's what we want to hear. Success story. Yes, girl,
Speaker 1: that's what.
Speaker 3: You want to hear.
Speaker 2: I won't go into too much detail, but yeah, it
Speaker 2: was just a very strange experience. And if we ended
Speaker 2: up getting married together, I'm just like so excited that
Speaker 2: that's our love story.
Speaker 1: Ellie, tell us a little bit about who you are
Speaker 1: and how comfortable in my skin started.
Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm an Australian girl.
Speaker 2: I guess my story starts in high school in a
Speaker 2: maths classroom when a boy in my class tapped me
Speaker 2: on the shoulders and he said to me, he gave
Speaker 2: me a note and I opened it and it said
Speaker 2: do you have an Innie or an AUTI?
Speaker 1: And hang on? How old were you?
Speaker 3: I was about fourteen and he.
Speaker 1: Asked you if you had an inny or an OUDI. Okay,
Speaker 1: first of all, I would have been like, are you
Speaker 1: talking about my belly button or what? Because that's what
Speaker 1: my mind at fourteen would have been, like an Innie,
Speaker 1: drop me to show you.
Speaker 2: Definitely, That's exactly where my mind went until I was
Speaker 2: like talking with all the boys and they were laughing
Speaker 2: and they were like, no, they called them vaginas back then.
Speaker 2: They were like, vaginas can be innies or audi's. And
Speaker 2: that's when I learned that, yes, some inner labia can
Speaker 2: protrude below the outer labia, or you know, I'd learned
Speaker 2: that there was a different all different kinds, according to
Speaker 2: some people, somewhat more beautiful than others, which is just
Speaker 2: absolute bullshit. But anyway, I surfed a lot in high school,
Speaker 2: and I was always really self conscious of my laby
Speaker 2: are showing in my bikini.
Speaker 3: It was like bulge.
Speaker 2: And I had guys say things over the years, like
Speaker 2: one guy said, oh, it always looks like you have
Speaker 2: sand stuck in your bikini, and just all these.
Speaker 3: Really rude comments.
Speaker 2: And I can laugh now because I have done a lot,
Speaker 2: a lot, a lot of work, but as a high
Speaker 2: school you know, fifteen sixteen, seventeen year old girl, you
Speaker 2: take things to your heart, and I just built up
Speaker 2: this insane insecurity of my volva. Every time I slept
Speaker 2: with someone, I would cry the next day. And it
Speaker 2: happened all the time, I just couldn't talk to anybody
Speaker 2: else about it, because there's this weird insecurity with talking
Speaker 2: about these parts of your bodies that it's like, it's
Speaker 2: really taboo.
Speaker 1: So why were you if you don't mind me asking
Speaker 1: when you say you cried the next day? Is that
Speaker 1: because you were in yourself thinking about what he would
Speaker 1: be thinking, or would he be talking about you, or
Speaker 1: did he say anything to make you feel uncomfortable, or like,
Speaker 1: where did this sadness come from? The day later?
Speaker 3: It was a few things.
Speaker 2: So I did have some guys say something to me
Speaker 2: after I slept with them, and then that created from
Speaker 2: then on paranoia that the guys would say something to
Speaker 2: their friends. Also, when I was hanging out with all
Speaker 2: the guys I did spend a lot of time with,
Speaker 2: they would often talk about other girls that they had
Speaker 2: slept with in great detail.
Speaker 3: That's where the sadness came from.
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't want to be one of
Speaker 2: those girls that they talk about. And it just got
Speaker 2: worse and worse and worse as I got older. And
Speaker 2: then when I went traveling really young, and I came
Speaker 2: back from traveling and I had been sitting in a
Speaker 2: park with my sister and I'd slept with someone and
Speaker 2: I was crying again to my sister and I was like,
Speaker 2: what if they tell what I look like? And I
Speaker 2: was so upset, and my sister said to me like, Ellie,
Speaker 2: come on, you are in your twenties now, like you
Speaker 2: surely are over this, and I was like I'm not.
Speaker 3: I just it still took over my whole life.
Speaker 2: And so that's when my sister introduced me to laby
Speaker 2: plasty and was like, maybe this could be really good
Speaker 2: for you. It might help you because she'd seen how
Speaker 2: many years I'd lack traumatized myself for and so she
Speaker 2: was like, I think this could be good for you
Speaker 2: to look into. So that's when I started this journey
Speaker 2: of like looking into labia plasty.
Speaker 1: And how long did you look into that before? Like,
Speaker 1: so we know and you can tell the story. We
Speaker 1: know that you went for your consult and you were
Speaker 1: you know Dad said, on going through with this procedure,
Speaker 1: how long and how in depth did you do your
Speaker 1: research before you went to this doctor?
Speaker 2: The first time, I went quite quickly to a doctor
Speaker 2: in Sydney, And the thing that scares me so much is, yeah,
Speaker 2: how quickly they just booked me in. They didn't even
Speaker 2: look at my body. They were just like, it costs
Speaker 2: this much, you can come in straight away. They were
Speaker 2: even because I was so young, helping me try and
Speaker 2: get it on medicare. They were like, oh, if you
Speaker 2: say you have reoccurring thrush or like, they were giving
Speaker 2: me options of ways I could maybe try and get
Speaker 2: it cheaper, but there wasn't really anything for me to
Speaker 2: claim it under medicare. I think if you're in a
Speaker 2: labia protrudes down eight centimeters, I think you can claim
Speaker 2: it back.
Speaker 3: But there was nothing for me. And so then I.
Speaker 2: Had another appointment, and that was maybe a year later.
Speaker 2: And then when I had the money, I was living
Speaker 2: in India, and that's when I went to the doctor,
Speaker 2: like with the money, to the cosmetic surgeon, and I
Speaker 2: was just like, give me the baby of blasting, but
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 3: I was calling it the wrong name. This is the thing.
Speaker 2: It's like I was so self conscious and awkward and
Speaker 2: I couldn't talk properly.
Speaker 3: And I said to this doctor like I.
Speaker 2: Want liposuction, and I was just pointing down at my legs.
Speaker 2: So I got myself in a really uncomfortable situation where
Speaker 2: I had this doctor drawing the highlight on my legs
Speaker 2: and I was standing there just being like, what is
Speaker 2: going on?
Speaker 1: So he was ready to do lifeosuction on your legs?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, and then and then he asked
Speaker 2: me to show him my vulva, and I was really
Speaker 2: lucky that he talked me out of getting labiaplasty.
Speaker 3: And he was like, this is just your vulva.
Speaker 1: So what did he say? What was his reaction to
Speaker 1: you asking for that surgery?
Speaker 2: First he said you poor girl, because he could tell
Speaker 2: how uncomfortable I was. And then he ended up saying
Speaker 2: like madam, like this is someone who sees you down here,
Speaker 2: should love you. And he's like, may I recommend that
Speaker 2: you get a surgery on your chin? Like he told
Speaker 2: me to get a chin extension because he said it
Speaker 2: was the same price and that a lot more people
Speaker 2: are going to see my face and my chin then
Speaker 2: my pussy.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, don't know about that.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: I'm jas like, my chin's fine.
Speaker 1: You're like, thank you for another insecure that I can
Speaker 1: take it into my other life. That's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, me and my girlfriends we always like tuck
Speaker 2: our chins in and do double chins and send selfies
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 3: So I was like blown away.
Speaker 2: I was like, what that's like my best quality is
Speaker 2: my lack of a jawline.
Speaker 3: So then anyway, I ended up.
Speaker 2: He went and got a side mirror and held it
Speaker 2: next to my face and I put my jawline forward,
Speaker 2: and I was like, having this moment with this surgeon
Speaker 2: how I could extend my jawline. And I was like,
Speaker 2: this is fucking crazy, Like this is insane.
Speaker 3: Why would I do this?
Speaker 2: And then I started thinking like, well, if I wouldn't
Speaker 2: change my face and people love me for my face,
Speaker 2: and I can love myself for how.
Speaker 3: I am, then why would I change that part of me?
Speaker 2: And he said, the doctor said to me, you know,
Speaker 2: I think you should go and see what others look
Speaker 2: like before you change yours, because it's just your labor.
Speaker 2: And so I've taken it a whole lot further than
Speaker 2: what he probably ever imagined. But I've photographed a lot
Speaker 2: of people.
Speaker 1: Crazy that, Like, it blows my mind in the fact
Speaker 1: that when I was reading about your story, I was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: this is so incredible that you a young, impressionable girl
Speaker 1: that obviously had low self esteem has gone to a surgeon.
Speaker 1: You're like, take my money, cut my vagina open, do
Speaker 1: what you need to do, and he's talked you out
Speaker 1: of it, and I thought, wow, that's really incredible that
Speaker 1: he has done that when he could have just booked
Speaker 1: you in. But then he threw a spanner in the
Speaker 1: works and you're like, but then he tried to change
Speaker 1: your chin and I was like, well, he's like contradicted himself.
Speaker 2: Well, he's still wanted the money. I mean, he lives
Speaker 2: on he's a cosmetic surgeon. He has to do something.
Speaker 2: But I think I was really lucky that it was
Speaker 2: happened in India and the culture over there is maybe
Speaker 2: I don't know that this is a lot more of
Speaker 2: a sacred part of your body and he I don't know,
Speaker 2: maybe he just thought that it was better I changed
Speaker 2: my face. I just can't work it out. But I
Speaker 2: still would have spent the money.
Speaker 1: So also I think as well, Like I mean, and
Speaker 1: this is one of the things that we touched on,
Speaker 1: Like there's such a huge spectrum of what is normal,
Speaker 1: and we have been kind of conditioned to think that
Speaker 1: having an inevolver is more cosmetically pleasing, but that really
Speaker 1: equates for what like twenty five percent of the population.
Speaker 1: You know, the majority of people don't have that and
Speaker 1: so and I read as well that labia plasti is
Speaker 1: one of the fastest increasing cosmetic surgeries in the country.
Speaker 1: You know, more women are coming forward and asking for
Speaker 1: it in the world. Crazy, isn't it? And it's like,
Speaker 1: how is it that something that the spectrum of what
Speaker 1: constitutes normally is so varied? But as women when not one,
Speaker 1: we don't even really talk to our friends about it.
Speaker 1: We don't really say, like, what does yours look like?
Speaker 1: What does mine look like? You know, how do you
Speaker 1: know what and where you sit in that and whether
Speaker 1: it's like you're wanting to get something changed for a
Speaker 1: functional reason or whether it's just completely cosmetic purposes. And
Speaker 1: we're going to go into a little bit further down
Speaker 1: the track, but I know that there are so many
Speaker 1: complications that can arise that people don't even necessarily know
Speaker 1: when it comes to labia plasti as well. But before
Speaker 1: we get into that, can you explain to anyone who
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily know the terminology or the difference, what is
Speaker 1: the difference between a vagina and a volver.
Speaker 2: So it's the vagina is the canal inside of view,
Speaker 2: and then the volver is everything on the outside of
Speaker 2: the body, So like the cletorus, the labia, the vaginal opening.
Speaker 3: So it's just the names of the body terms.
Speaker 2: Everyone uses the word vagina to describe the volver, which
Speaker 2: just shows the lack of education on this part of
Speaker 2: our body in high schools and in just in general.
Speaker 1: How did you start photographing? Because I feel like this
Speaker 1: went from zero to one hundred real.
Speaker 3: Quick, real quick, super quick.
Speaker 2: I went onto Facebook and I put up a post
Speaker 2: saying I want to photograph.
Speaker 3: I was doing what.
Speaker 2: The doctor said and I should see others. So I said,
Speaker 2: I want to photograph ten and make a coffee table book.
Speaker 3: And I guess I've always been.
Speaker 2: A very approachable person, maybe like I'm super open, naturally
Speaker 2: just kind, and people often do come to me with
Speaker 2: pro and so I just got this influx of messages
Speaker 2: being like, I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it,
Speaker 2: And then I started doing it and I the first
Speaker 2: person I ever photographed was a midwife that I went
Speaker 2: to primary school with.
Speaker 3: I was so nervous.
Speaker 2: I was photographing her standing up and she was like,
Speaker 2: surely you want me laying down with my legs open,
Speaker 2: And I was like just being instructed by everything that
Speaker 2: she said. Then she taught me all these things that
Speaker 2: I didn't know about my own volver because she was
Speaker 2: a midwife and she was like.
Speaker 3: My own anatomy.
Speaker 2: She was teaching me different names, like exactly what we
Speaker 2: just talked about. And I just learnt so much from her,
Speaker 2: and I was like, Oh, I want to teach the
Speaker 2: next person. I photographed this stuff, and so then it
Speaker 2: just was the next person that came, she had a story.
Speaker 2: The next person that came, she had a story. I
Speaker 2: started learning about vaginismus, I started learning about bacteria vaginisis
Speaker 2: all natural remedies for thrush. It was like every single
Speaker 2: person I spoke to, I was just learning, learning, learning, and.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to share it.
Speaker 2: And that's when I started creating the Instagram page because
Speaker 2: I was like, people need to hear these stories, and
Speaker 2: people need to realize that they're not alone.
Speaker 3: You know, we're all going through the same thing.
Speaker 2: And two of my best friends had had labiaplasty that
Speaker 2: I went to high school with, and they came forward
Speaker 2: and I had no idea. I was like suddenly realized
Speaker 2: that there's this huge shame that comes with labya plasty.
Speaker 2: Like you might go to your friendship circle after getting
Speaker 2: your breast done and be like, look how great they look.
Speaker 3: But if you get lavier PLASTI, it's this big secret
Speaker 3: that you don't tell anybody.
Speaker 2: And it's true because I never told anyone except for
Speaker 2: my sister, and I'm very comfortable socially talking about anything.
Speaker 2: So then all I wanted was to create a place
Speaker 2: where people could come forward and talk about anything and
Speaker 2: nothing was off limits and they could share the I mean,
Speaker 2: I created the herpes support groups and I've got twenty
Speaker 2: six of them now, and it's incredible because it's so common,
Speaker 2: and that's like all these things that we suffer as
Speaker 2: volver owners and we just don't talk about. So it's
Speaker 2: really just like a place, and that's what a photoshoot
Speaker 2: is as well. It's a place where someone can come
Speaker 2: forward and feel safe to tell me anything, which is
Speaker 2: really good for your mental health, getting it off your
Speaker 2: chest and not bottling it up.
Speaker 1: Why do you think there is so much shame surrounding this?
Speaker 1: Why do you think as women we feel so much
Speaker 1: shame around our volvers and around you know, any sort
Speaker 1: of conversations around what is happening, whether it be through
Speaker 1: about menstruation, whether it be something like bacterial vaginosis, whether
Speaker 1: it be around you know, STIs. We've done a whole
Speaker 1: episode talking about herpes, and like, there is just so
Speaker 1: much shame around anything that's kind of to do with
Speaker 1: sexual health and wellness for women. Why do you think
Speaker 1: that that is so attached to it.
Speaker 2: I guess it's because society doesn't let us talk about it.
Speaker 2: And then the only times we do see or hear about,
Speaker 2: for example, STIs is in the media and in Hollywood
Speaker 2: when they're making fun of it, or if it's school
Speaker 2: we were looking at something, say example, genital herp is,
Speaker 2: they showed you this horrible diagram and it was like,
Speaker 2: this is for life.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: The school's actually taught us.
Speaker 2: That it was dirty and we got that stigma and
Speaker 2: then so we carried that on through. You know, maybe
Speaker 2: people laugh about it in front of their friends, and
Speaker 2: so then if you do you are suffering from anything
Speaker 2: of the sort, you just keep it quiet. And that's
Speaker 2: the worst thing you can possibly do. And I truly
Speaker 2: believe that talking about anything with your friends kills the stigma,
Speaker 2: and that's why I'm always encouraging people even on my
Speaker 2: platform on Instagram, I'm like comment publicly about whatever you
Speaker 2: want to say, because it's adding to.
Speaker 3: Killing the stigma.
Speaker 1: Well, it's highly likely too that the second that you
Speaker 1: finally open up to your friendship circle about a problem
Speaker 1: that you're having, or something you're self conscious about, or
Speaker 1: something that's on your mind, chances are at least one
Speaker 1: other person in that group is experience. It's seen the
Speaker 1: exact same thing, but nobody knows because everybody's keeping quiet.
Speaker 1: But in relation to your friends, Ellie, that you said
Speaker 1: you had two friends came forward that had labiaplasty, did
Speaker 1: you chat to them and did you find out why
Speaker 1: they had it? Like what was there insecurity? And were
Speaker 1: they happy with the procedure at the end, did they
Speaker 1: regret it? Did they have any complications? Was there anything
Speaker 1: that you can tell us about that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're pretty crazy stories. One of them is actually
Speaker 2: up on my blog on www dot come to themiskin
Speaker 2: dot com dot au and you can see the photos
Speaker 2: of before, during, and after of her labiaplasty and her
Speaker 2: story is written up there. She was the same as me,
Speaker 2: it was going to the beach in her bikini and
Speaker 2: seeing the.
Speaker 3: Bulge that made her go to Labiaplasti.
Speaker 2: She dated and one of my friends and they had
Speaker 2: sex for four years and she never took her underwear off.
Speaker 3: She'd just pull it to the side.
Speaker 2: And wow, Yeah, that's how self conscious she was. And
Speaker 2: the second she turned eighteen, her mum wouldn't let her
Speaker 2: have laby plus, even though she asked a lot of times.
Speaker 2: So the second she turned eighteen she went and got
Speaker 2: it done, and my other friend her mother let her
Speaker 2: get it done when she was about sixteen. Your mom
Speaker 2: has to take you if you're under eighteen. So her
Speaker 2: mom took her and they pulled down the inner Lady
Speaker 2: Labia cut off, but then they didn't sort of trim upwards.
Speaker 2: This is the thing, is like to all these doctors
Speaker 2: are just doing it and they're not asking the volve
Speaker 2: owners exactly what they want and how they want done.
Speaker 2: And the Volvo is sixteen, so she has no idea
Speaker 2: what she wanted.
Speaker 1: She probably has never seen any other vagina.
Speaker 2: Either, never and never, And her mum actually said to
Speaker 2: her when she said I want this, blah blah blah,
Speaker 2: her mom said, I felt self conscious my whole life
Speaker 2: about the way mine looks, so I'm happy to take
Speaker 2: you so you don't spend your life worrying like I did.
Speaker 2: So her mum was coming from a good place, but
Speaker 2: she wasn't happy with what the doctors did, so she
Speaker 2: went back a second time when she was eighteen and
Speaker 2: asked them to continue cutting because it was sort of
Speaker 2: she felt it was like still flapping, and she wasn't
Speaker 2: happy with it.
Speaker 3: So the one that got it done.
Speaker 2: When she was eighteen says that she can't orgasm, and
Speaker 2: she doesn't know if it has to do with having
Speaker 2: a surgery. I personally feel like you can get labiaplasty
Speaker 2: and you can still orgasm because I've interviewed people that have,
Speaker 2: so although it is cutting off a lot of nerve
Speaker 2: endings the surgery, you can still find pleasure from save
Speaker 2: vaginal light penetration, and you know, there's all different ways
Speaker 2: that you can have pleasure. But I think it's her
Speaker 2: mental health. She still hasn't built a great connection with
Speaker 2: her volva, and she still hasn't recovered mentally from the surgery,
Speaker 2: so she's you know, you can't orgasm when you are
Speaker 2: feeling self conscious and flight or flight or danger. So
Speaker 2: she needs to work that out through her mental health.
Speaker 1: And I mean, we all know there are a certain
Speaker 1: number of people and I'm off the top of my head,
Speaker 1: I can't say statistic, so I'm not going to, but
Speaker 1: there are a certain number of women that will never, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: have an orgasm, and that is regardless of laby plasty,
Speaker 1: regardless of anything. There are some women that it's a
Speaker 1: smaller number, but they just will never get there. So
Speaker 1: I guess we'll never know in her sense. But of
Speaker 1: course it comes with complications, and of course it comes
Speaker 1: with risks like any surgery, but we are encouraging of
Speaker 1: anyone to do what they want with their body with
Speaker 1: for the right reason, under the right research. And I
Speaker 1: think the platform that you've provided is incredible because you've
Speaker 1: just you've given a safe space for women to know,
Speaker 1: like if you had found your own platform when you
Speaker 1: were young, before you went to a surgeon, it would
Speaker 1: have changed your lives.
Speaker 2: I pretty much created what I felt I needed when
Speaker 2: I was at my worst stage, and that was always
Speaker 2: the plan. I was like, I don't want younger people
Speaker 2: to go through what I went through, and if I
Speaker 2: had have seen how different.
Speaker 3: They all were.
Speaker 2: I would never have been so self conscious. And I'm
Speaker 2: not at a war against labiaplasty. I'm just there to
Speaker 2: help people having more educated decision before they go through
Speaker 2: and cut off part of their body. I just want
Speaker 2: them to go in knowing what labyplasty is. Because now
Speaker 2: I've done so many interviews with people that feel mutilated.
Speaker 2: I can show you guys some videos of people that
Speaker 2: have had the surgery. When Lady was fifty and you
Speaker 2: know she should She's like, she feels that she should
Speaker 2: have known better because she's fifty, But how was she
Speaker 2: supposed to know when there's no resources for us to
Speaker 2: go and find out what normal is.
Speaker 1: I remember when we had this question with ask on
Speaker 1: cut and like we answered this question. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: if you listened to it, Ellie, Like we kind of
Speaker 1: like talked around like what our thoughts were, and then
Speaker 1: it wasn't until right at the end where we were
Speaker 1: both like, ah and fuck it, we've got audies as well.
Speaker 1: But it was like it took us so long to
Speaker 1: be okay with even saying that because like exactly this
Speaker 1: whole conversation, which is that there is so much shame
Speaker 1: around it. Yeah, that like even for us and we
Speaker 1: have this platform and we're all about being in you said,
Speaker 1: when we're all about talking about the full spectrum. We
Speaker 1: even had a moment where we were like, oh, do
Speaker 1: I want to put that out there for you know,
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand people to listen to. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It took me a second to be okay with that,
Speaker 1: and then I realized how crazily hypocritical that is, and
Speaker 1: like the irony of that in and of itself that
Speaker 1: I didn't feel comfortable talking about myself and what I
Speaker 1: look like because I was worried that someone might judge me,
Speaker 1: whereas the whole reason that we've got this platform is
Speaker 1: to try and help to destigmatize it. Like it. It
Speaker 1: made me realize how hypocritical I was being. I guess
Speaker 1: one of the things that I really like. So we've
Speaker 1: talked about all this, the photography that you've been doing,
Speaker 1: and you have photographed how many evolvers have you photographed?
Speaker 1: Do you know?
Speaker 3: Or it's definitely over three hundred for sure.
Speaker 1: There's a lot more Vaina's than in evolvers than I
Speaker 1: think the most people will get to see in their
Speaker 1: lifetime unless maybe you're a doctor or re sarchon or
Speaker 1: in the medical industry. You have also photographed volvers at
Speaker 1: all different stages of a woman's cycles. There are photos
Speaker 1: up on Flip three flaps which are of women when
Speaker 1: they're during their menstrual cycle as well. Why was it
Speaker 1: important to photograph volvers at every stage?
Speaker 2: Well, this is a funny question because I want to
Speaker 2: be like, it's to normalize all everything that we go through.
Speaker 2: You know, whether it's bleeding discharge, we all go through it,
Speaker 2: and it's again a taboo topic that we can struggle
Speaker 2: with alone. I remember the first time I saw discharge
Speaker 2: and I thought I was dying.
Speaker 1: You know, it's by discharge, like it's oss how I die.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I want to I really really want younger people. And
Speaker 2: because I'm actually a preschool teacher, so I nanny a
Speaker 2: lot a lot of young volver owners.
Speaker 3: And actually my project.
Speaker 2: Is equally for the boys as well, because I feel
Speaker 2: they play such a big role and they go through
Speaker 2: things themselves anyway. But I just feel like the photos
Speaker 2: showing all the different things that we go through is
Speaker 2: a perfect conversation starter. So someone might open it up
Speaker 2: and see that the girl is quite Oh well, Evolvo
Speaker 2: owner is you know, got the discharge, so then that
Speaker 2: can start a conversation between them. But I want to
Speaker 2: say that this was the reason why I started doing it,
Speaker 2: but it was actually because I was teaching at the
Speaker 2: time and I was struggling to fit in photo shoots
Speaker 2: and people would book in on the day and then
Speaker 2: they would message me and cancel and I would have
Speaker 2: taken a day off work to photograph and they'd be like, Hey,
Speaker 2: I'm just letting you know I'm bleeding, so I'm going
Speaker 2: to cancel my shoot today. And I was like, no,
Speaker 2: you can't, Like you have to come as you are.
Speaker 2: And it was happening quite regularly because people would be like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I've got thrush, so I'm going to cancel. I've got
Speaker 2: ingrown hairs, I've got to cancel. And I started just
Speaker 2: being like, this is actually crazy, like how people don't
Speaker 2: want to come when we're always going through something. And
Speaker 2: so then I started getting my friends and I was like,
Speaker 2: can I photograph you while you're bleeding with a tampon
Speaker 2: string in so that I can put it up and
Speaker 2: then I can say to other look, I've done it already,
Speaker 2: You're not going to be the first.
Speaker 3: Just come as you are.
Speaker 2: And so it originally was so that people would stop
Speaker 2: canceling on me, But then I started realizing how important
Speaker 2: it was to show representations of everything.
Speaker 3: There's like, if you look through there, there's one.
Speaker 2: Girl or a few actually that have scarring from laser
Speaker 2: hair removal. And so I found that in itself is
Speaker 2: really interesting because we all think we're going to remove
Speaker 2: the hair, and then we end up removing the hair,
Speaker 2: which you know, could be a fashion that dies out
Speaker 2: pretty quickly. We might all want bush again soon, and
Speaker 2: now you've made this decision. But also I had no
Speaker 2: idea that there was a possibility that you could have
Speaker 2: such bad scarring. And I was actually speaking to this
Speaker 2: girl yesterday, even though I photographed her quite a long
Speaker 2: time ago, and she was like, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 2: would kill to have.
Speaker 3: My bush back and not have these scars.
Speaker 2: So it's important that we see all the things that
Speaker 2: other people are going through so we can make decisions
Speaker 2: for ourselves whether we want to get laser, you know,
Speaker 2: whether the period photos start conversation around the pill and
Speaker 2: what the pill's doing to our body and why it's
Speaker 2: important to bleed and how to build a better connection
Speaker 2: with your cycle. And oh my gosh, I've learned so
Speaker 2: much about my cycle through doing Comfortable in my Skin.
Speaker 2: And when I photograph people that are bleeding, it's just
Speaker 2: a way to lead into a conversation about you know,
Speaker 2: when you should exercise during a cycle, what you should
Speaker 2: eat during a cycle, and.
Speaker 3: The medio sis.
Speaker 2: Like, there's so many conversations that need to be started
Speaker 2: and they can all lead from these photos.
Speaker 1: So out of curiosity, how busy are you photograph involvers?
Speaker 1: Like do people do you have to advertise now? Or
Speaker 1: do people just line up to get this photograph? Well?
Speaker 2: I actually ended up just getting a PA because my
Speaker 2: Instagram was so active and engaging and I was dying
Speaker 2: in it. I not dying, but I was just drowning
Speaker 2: in how many I mean, you guys probably understand you've
Speaker 2: got a manager because there's so many people that now
Speaker 2: reach out to me. Like sometimes people will ask if
Speaker 2: they can send me a photo of a blister they
Speaker 2: have down there because they're like, I think, can you.
Speaker 3: Tell me what this is?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: People feel really safe with Comfortable in my Skin, which
Speaker 2: I love so much. But I got to a point
Speaker 2: where no, I don't actually at all have to reach out.
Speaker 2: I got to a point where people are just dying
Speaker 2: to be photographed, which is so beautiful and I'm absolutely honored.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I ended up getting a PA. And so
Speaker 3: we have a weight list which you can join.
Speaker 2: Because I travel a lot, well before COVID I did,
Speaker 2: so we have all around Australia, all the different states,
Speaker 2: and you can join the weight list.
Speaker 3: So I do all different kinds of things.
Speaker 2: So if I go to Melbourne, I might advertise for
Speaker 2: Comfortable with my Sexuality workshop, a volver anatomy workshop, a
Speaker 2: photo shoot, a group photoshoot, individual photo shoot, so there's
Speaker 2: all there's a weight list, so you join that and
Speaker 2: then when I come to your town, I can send
Speaker 2: you out an email of everything I'm going to do
Speaker 2: for the week that I'm there, and then you can join.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I am really busy. I just went to Darwin.
Speaker 2: I did loads of photo shoots. No matter where I
Speaker 2: go now there's always people, which is incredible. But the
Speaker 2: thing that I struggle with, which would be great if
Speaker 2: any of your listeners want to be photographed, is cultural diversity.
Speaker 2: If you go through browse through my breasts, you can
Speaker 2: see there's a huge lack of cultural diversity, and age
Speaker 2: diversity and weight diversity. I am seem to be getting
Speaker 2: in a certain type of person, which is absolutely not
Speaker 2: my There's no criteria. I let everybody come that wants
Speaker 2: to be photographed to come and be photographed. But I
Speaker 2: really am struggling with cultural diversity.
Speaker 1: Why do you think that is?
Speaker 2: I guess some cultures maybe this is. You know, even
Speaker 2: when I was in New Zealand, I was hoping to
Speaker 2: get a lot of Mallori people and there's one woman
Speaker 2: that I photographed she said, it's actually really sacred this
Speaker 2: part of your body. So maybe a lot of cultures
Speaker 2: don't approve of the work I do. But also I
Speaker 2: think it's just unfortunate that I did do most of
Speaker 2: my photos on the Northern Beaches totally where maybe there's
Speaker 2: not a lot of cultural diversity.
Speaker 3: I mean, definitely there's not a lot of culture for diversity.
Speaker 3: But I would.
Speaker 2: Love to have Indigenous women, Black African volver owners.
Speaker 3: I'd love to photograph all kinds of body.
Speaker 2: A company for Netflix, they're doing a show on pleasure,
Speaker 2: and they reached out to me and said, can you
Speaker 2: send us eight photos and we'd love diversity. And I
Speaker 2: looked through my photos and I actually felt really sad.
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't send a representation of everyone
Speaker 2: around the world because no one's come forward. So sometimes
Speaker 2: I call out and saying, you know, I'm encouraging it,
Speaker 2: but it's really hard for me to I can't push
Speaker 2: for anyone to come and do this, so I just
Speaker 2: do the best I can. I just say everyone's welcome.
Speaker 1: Obviously everyone is anonymous, Is that right, Ellie.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I photograph a lot of lawyers, teachers, and they'll say
Speaker 2: to me, don't put me on the Instagram page or
Speaker 2: the website, but I want to be in the book.
Speaker 2: So there's a consent page that I send to people
Speaker 2: and they get to choose, like whether they want their
Speaker 2: head to be in the photo or they just want
Speaker 2: purely their volver.
Speaker 3: And anything is fine.
Speaker 2: They also get an option to share their story next
Speaker 2: to their volver. So when the Comfortable Masking Coffee Table
Speaker 2: book does come out, there's going to be feature pages,
Speaker 2: so someone that has a story that they would like
Speaker 2: to share can go next to their photo, might say
Speaker 2: their age, how many babies they've had, how many sexual
Speaker 2: partners they've had, and that's purely just to show that
Speaker 2: your labia doesn't change how many sexual partners you've had,
Speaker 2: so get rid of those myths that say, you know,
Speaker 2: you might be loose or tight because of your having
Speaker 2: so much sex. But I try to debunk all those
Speaker 2: myths during this project.
Speaker 3: So, but if you don't want.
Speaker 2: Anything to do with that, and you honestly want to
Speaker 2: come for when I do a photo shoot, I'm with
Speaker 2: you for four hours usually, and we talk and often
Speaker 2: the people cry, and I teach them to ways of
Speaker 2: how they can build a better connection with their body
Speaker 2: or how they can become more comfortable naked or in
Speaker 2: the bedroom.
Speaker 3: So sometimes people literally just.
Speaker 2: Want to come for the workshop and they're like, can
Speaker 2: you not do anything with my photos except for.
Speaker 3: Send them to me?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, absolutely, there is no pressure for me
Speaker 2: to share your photos.
Speaker 3: It's completely totally fine.
Speaker 1: But also, I guess, not just if you're someone who's
Speaker 1: listening to this wanting to come forward to have a photo,
Speaker 1: to have your photos taken, but just if you've ever
Speaker 1: and I feel like every woman has felt this at
Speaker 1: some point, if you've ever felt self conscious about the
Speaker 1: way you look, if you've ever been unsure if it's
Speaker 1: something that you know, you would like to just be
Speaker 1: able to feel like there are some reference images, go
Speaker 1: and have a look at flip Through or Flaps, and
Speaker 1: it's just I felt like, I'm pretty okay with my
Speaker 1: body and how it is now, and I've had two babies,
Speaker 1: and it made me just feel so comfortable, and it
Speaker 1: made me feel so supported that there are so many
Speaker 1: other women and that there is so much diversity and
Speaker 1: that everybody is so completely different. And I think that
Speaker 1: a lot of people who have insecurities will get a
Speaker 1: lot of solace by realizing that there is no normal
Speaker 1: in this spectrum. Yeah, I just I think it's really
Speaker 1: really powerful and I really recommend everybody goes and has
Speaker 1: a look.
Speaker 2: When I started the project, I originally wanted to do
Speaker 2: it for teenage people to not go through what I
Speaker 2: went through. And I've actually noticed that a lot more
Speaker 2: the age demographic of people that is coming forward is
Speaker 2: mums that have had babies and they're struggling to connect
Speaker 2: with their new Volver. So I encourage mums all the
Speaker 2: time to go and check Outflip through my Flat Totally.
Speaker 1: It changes so much as well. Like I mean, it's
Speaker 1: one thing that people I mean, people don't talk about
Speaker 1: this stuff enough as it is, but definitely don't talk
Speaker 1: about it enough after pregnancy. I mean I did a
Speaker 1: little bit on the podcast, but like even from when
Speaker 1: you're actually pregnant to after you have babies, like it
Speaker 1: changes at every stage along the way, and that can
Speaker 1: be really isolating because like, at one point you feel
Speaker 1: like you know your body, and then you also feel
Speaker 1: like you've surrendered everything about your body to create children,
Speaker 1: and that I know, like there's parts of me that
Speaker 1: feels a bit insecure about that, because I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: two years ago, everything about me was different to how
Speaker 1: it is now, and I'm really proud that I have
Speaker 1: my babies, but at the same time, you still can
Speaker 1: feel a little bit like like you're not in touch
Speaker 1: with your body anymore. And I think that it's really
Speaker 1: powerful to know that there's other women who feel exactly
Speaker 1: the same and that this isn't You're not isolated, you're
Speaker 1: not on your own. There's every single woman who's had
Speaker 1: a baby probably has had these thoughts and feelings. Definitely, definitely,
Speaker 1: And Ellie also photographs breasts as well, so you can
Speaker 1: go on and have a look at the flick through
Speaker 1: my flaps and there's like every single volver you could
Speaker 1: ever imagine. But there's also so many breasts that I love.
Speaker 1: I love that as well because so many women and
Speaker 1: I have friends too that have always talked like, I
Speaker 1: want to get a boob job. Look at my boobs.
Speaker 1: They're ugly. Look at them, they hang low, look at them.
Speaker 1: They point it aside, like there's always something. And as
Speaker 1: soon as you go on your site and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: no one is unusual. Everyone is unique their own right
Speaker 1: and everyone everyone on the planet is different. So it's
Speaker 1: nothing to feel self conscious about.
Speaker 2: No, And it's funny because the things with the what
Speaker 2: I've noticed from photographing breaths is I photograph quite a
Speaker 2: few people now that are getting there implants taken out.
Speaker 2: And this is the thing that's like our beauty standards
Speaker 2: is always forever changing, so doing these surgeries, like you
Speaker 2: can get your breast implants taken out, but once you
Speaker 2: cut off your LaBier or your clatoral hood, you can
Speaker 2: never get that back. And I had a girl in
Speaker 2: hospital message me. She was in Perth and she was
Speaker 2: absolutely distraught. She'd had the surgery and they took off
Speaker 2: way too much LaBier. She sent me the images there.
Speaker 2: They're just heartbreaking, and they'd cut her raw and she
Speaker 2: was she was messaging me being like, I've had I'm
Speaker 2: up to my third surgery now to get it glued
Speaker 2: back up, and you know you can't, actually you can't
Speaker 2: get that back. Like I said, body standards understands that
Speaker 2: are always changing, so you have no idea what we're
Speaker 2: going to want in the next ten years, and we
Speaker 2: might want our lavy you're back.
Speaker 1: But also it's not just beauty standards in this respect.
Speaker 1: The other thing is like it has a function that
Speaker 1: has a purpose, and like female pleasure is so important,
Speaker 1: and then when you go to the point where you're
Speaker 1: removing so much of your labia that you don't have
Speaker 1: any protection over your glotorus, which we all know is
Speaker 1: like a really really sensitive area for all women and
Speaker 1: it's really fundamental in actually enjoying sex. I just don't
Speaker 1: think that people necessarily who are opting in to have
Speaker 1: labia plasty understand fully or that everybody who goes through
Speaker 1: this process understands fully just what the side effects and
Speaker 1: what the complications can be, and that you know, yes,
Speaker 1: you may have what media and the porn industry and
Speaker 1: men think is that's the perfect looking vagina afterwards, but
Speaker 1: you may also completely compromise your ability to have pleasurable sex.
Speaker 1: I know which one I would prefer for sex any
Speaker 1: day of the way.
Speaker 2: Me too, Like, fuck, it's funny that you said the
Speaker 2: porn industry then, because I got a message, an Instagram
Speaker 2: message from a porn star who I won't say her name,
Speaker 2: but she's a very successful porn star, and she wrote
Speaker 2: me this really really interesting message saying that she's starting
Speaker 2: to feel quite upset that a lot of sexologists and people,
Speaker 2: you know, there's this big movement on Instagram blaming porn
Speaker 2: industry for everyone going and getting labya plastic. And she's like,
Speaker 2: go on to any of my videos and look at
Speaker 2: any of my photos and you'll see I have very
Speaker 2: long laber. And she's like, even after looking through flip
Speaker 2: through my flaps, I can say I have very long
Speaker 2: LaBier and she's like, it is so sexy and people
Speaker 2: love to see me having sex.
Speaker 1: So proof is in the pudding.
Speaker 3: There is this.
Speaker 2: Weird stigma that all of this has come from porn industry,
Speaker 2: and I never watched porn, and I felt heavily like
Speaker 2: this obviously, but yeah, it's funny that the porn industry
Speaker 2: is getting such a blame for this whole laby plaster
Speaker 2: because I also feel like, if you if us so
Speaker 2: we wanted to do a porno right now, all oudis
Speaker 2: we could.
Speaker 1: Easily billow over zoom a zoom porno.
Speaker 2: Yeah, by zoom, we could make a porno. There's so
Speaker 2: much admature porn now.
Speaker 1: Well, we were talking about this before we jumped on
Speaker 1: this call, and like, I don't think it is just
Speaker 1: the porn industry, I think, and I don't know if
Speaker 1: the legislation's changed. We were actually trying to do some
Speaker 1: research into it before we jumped on this Zoom call,
Speaker 1: but we couldn't find the most current details around LaBier censorship.
Speaker 1: So basically I know that going back in Stort of
Speaker 1: twenty fifteen, there was rules around how a vagina in
Speaker 1: a swimsuit could be presented. So with the Laby was showing,
Speaker 1: it had to be photoshopped out.
Speaker 3: It had to be single creasey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it had to be one crease in the photo.
Speaker 1: It couldn't be any more than that, and no bulging,
Speaker 1: no outer Laba, and that was sort of the standardized
Speaker 1: expectation across all media publications. So when you think of like,
Speaker 1: you know, if you were doing a swimsuit shoot for
Speaker 1: Cea Foley, for example, if there was more than just
Speaker 1: the single creep showing that needed to be photoshopped. So
Speaker 1: we have been conditioned our entire I mean I'm thirty five,
Speaker 1: My entire viewing and my entire consumption of media from
Speaker 1: when I was a teenager until recently has been that
Speaker 1: that's what a vagina looks like, not knowing that actually
Speaker 1: a majority of people's vaginas in modern media has been photoshopped,
Speaker 1: which I just think is crazy. And I think that
Speaker 1: that is also what's added to this feeling from people
Speaker 1: who may have longer labiers, or have asymmetry, or that
Speaker 1: makes them feel like, oh, I'm not normal because I
Speaker 1: don't look like that girl in the photo. That girl
Speaker 1: in the photo doesn't even look like that girl in
Speaker 1: the photo.
Speaker 3: She's photoshopped. It happened to my sister.
Speaker 2: She did an ad and for it was a bikini brand,
Speaker 2: a big one, and they photoshopped off her labia. When
Speaker 2: she bought the photos home to me, I was so excited.
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh my gosh, this is so exciting,
Speaker 2: Like maybe they do that to everybody. I remember being
Speaker 2: like so shook and mind blown, and I was like,
Speaker 2: they've like, we'll have these photos. We laughed so much
Speaker 2: because my sister was never self conscious in a bikini.
Speaker 2: She was always just rocking it. She did surfboat rowing
Speaker 2: and surfing. And yes, they completely made her look like
Speaker 2: she had absolutely no LaBier. And I did do an
Speaker 2: interview with a girl who worked for a magazine company
Speaker 2: and she her job was editing, and she said I
Speaker 2: spent like the past ten years editing off people's lavier.
Speaker 1: Imagine if men's dicks got edited out, it would never happen.
Speaker 1: They would never edit a whole penis out of board
Speaker 1: shorts at the beach, So why do you have to
Speaker 1: edit a lavier so like a natural part of women's body.
Speaker 1: They put fucking socks down their swimmers to make their
Speaker 1: dicks look bigger, Like that's the crazy thing. If it's
Speaker 1: a jos ad, they will literally put an insert in
Speaker 1: to make it look like they have a more pronounced
Speaker 1: not like a sexually hard on penis, but like they'll
Speaker 1: make it look like it's a nice round package. Whereas
Speaker 1: for a woman, you have to be a perfectly flat
Speaker 1: box with no identifying factors that you have a vagina
Speaker 1: or revolver or anything going on between your legs. You
Speaker 1: got to look Amy do Bobby Yeah, Bobby barbies, we
Speaker 1: don't that's baby. Yeah, it's wild now, Ellie, let me know.
Speaker 1: I mean, for somebody who has seen so many volvers
Speaker 1: in her time, what do you think women can do
Speaker 1: to be more comfortable, to be more confident, and to
Speaker 1: sort of be able to accept themselves for who they
Speaker 1: are and what they look like.
Speaker 2: I think it's really important to reach out for help.
Speaker 2: So if you are struggling a lot, reach out to honestly,
Speaker 2: go and see a psychiatrist, go and see a sexologist.
Speaker 3: Talk to your sisters, your.
Speaker 2: Friends, your mom's, your dad's, talk to everyone you can, because,
Speaker 2: like I said, people are definitely going through the.
Speaker 3: Same thing and you're not alone.
Speaker 2: And when you realize you're not alone and you have
Speaker 2: people to talk about anything that you're suffering from, it
Speaker 2: makes you realize that we are all different. And I'm
Speaker 2: a big advocate for positive affirmations, mirror work actually being
Speaker 2: normalizing nudity going to neud events, go swim naked at
Speaker 2: the beach, you know, just embracing the body that you
Speaker 2: have and surrounding yourself with positivity towards nudity and pleasure,
Speaker 2: and honestly, reach out to me, because I do do
Speaker 2: phone calls with people, and I have so many groups.
Speaker 2: I have groups for like people self conscious of their labia,
Speaker 2: people self conscious of their breast.
Speaker 3: I have a group for.
Speaker 2: People with any inverted nipples like on my Instagram page.
Speaker 3: I have literally got a group for anything.
Speaker 2: So reach out to me with whatever you're feeling self
Speaker 2: conscious with and I can help you.
Speaker 1: You just mentioned something then which I would love for
Speaker 1: you to explain a little bit more. What is mirror work?
Speaker 2: Okay, So I do mirror work every single day. So
Speaker 2: it's when you look in the mirror. It's looking at
Speaker 2: your body with appreciation and talking to yourself like you
Speaker 2: would talk to your best friends. So every single time
Speaker 2: I apply moisturizer, I do it really slowly, and I
Speaker 2: watch myself do it in the mirror.
Speaker 3: I just instead of.
Speaker 2: Being negative, being like oh, I've got like moles there
Speaker 2: or whatever you would naturally think, you give love to
Speaker 2: that part of your body and the language that you
Speaker 2: use is so important.
Speaker 3: So I might, like, you know.
Speaker 2: Brush my hair and I'll do it really slowly, and
Speaker 2: I'll brush every single little bit and I'll think like, oh, it.
Speaker 3: Feels so nice to touch my hair.
Speaker 2: My head's feeling really soft today, or as if I
Speaker 2: was brushing a friend's hair, and what I would say
Speaker 2: to them, you just do it to yourself, and it's
Speaker 2: kind of like it's just giving yourself love. And I
Speaker 2: had this really really really beautiful moment. I was living
Speaker 2: in Tamarama on the beach not long ago, and I
Speaker 2: was looking in the reflection at myself and I started
Speaker 2: dancing just.
Speaker 1: Where they could, just lifeguards can looking back at you.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it was nighttime. It was nighttime, and so
Speaker 3: I was watching my.
Speaker 2: Reflection and I started dancing like really slowly and just
Speaker 2: really gently touching my body and watching myself do it.
Speaker 3: And it's funny because I used to teach.
Speaker 2: Mirror work in photo shoots, and I feel like I
Speaker 2: hadn't got to the point yet where I was doing
Speaker 2: it naturally. I was sort of like, like I said,
Speaker 2: fake it to make it, like forcing myself to do
Speaker 2: this kind of work and then I just had this
Speaker 2: incredible night where I just did it naturally and I
Speaker 2: was watching myself and I was turning myself on and
Speaker 2: I ended up having pretty much the best orgather I've
Speaker 2: ever had in.
Speaker 3: My whole life. But it was well, yes, it was
Speaker 3: like I.
Speaker 2: Have gotten to such a good place in my body
Speaker 2: and my relationship with my body because I have done insane.
Speaker 3: Amounts of work.
Speaker 2: So I tell people all the time, I'm like, you
Speaker 2: have to actually do the work on yourself. You're not
Speaker 2: just gonna like one day wake up and be like,
Speaker 2: oh I fucking love my body. You have to spend
Speaker 2: time doing these things and eat healthy, masturbate, meditate, you know, exercise,
Speaker 2: All these things go towards this self care that everyone
Speaker 2: needs for themselves. Allow the time to love yourself and
Speaker 2: put the work in, and that's how you get the results.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I've got to go look in the mirror. Yes,
Speaker 1: if you're currently in lockdown, I want meditate and masturbate
Speaker 1: to be on new mail trop Yes, I think it is.
Speaker 1: I think that's literally what everyone's doing.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a gift to get a dildo or
Speaker 2: a wand or a sex toy and to experiment with
Speaker 2: yourself so that you can learn what you want, and
Speaker 2: then you can teach the people that you're sleeping with
Speaker 2: so you're having good sex.
Speaker 3: It's so important.
Speaker 1: Also a gift to your fellow woman, because that guy's
Speaker 1: going to be better off, like you've just set him
Speaker 1: off into the world better than he came to you.
Speaker 1: That's the goal for everyone, right Go forth now and
Speaker 1: do better for all the other women out there. Ellie,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming and being a part
Speaker 1: of the podcast. Thank you for sharing all the work
Speaker 1: that you're doing. Guys. If you haven't heard a flip
Speaker 1: through my flaps, if you haven't seen Comfortably in my Skin,
Speaker 1: go and check Ellie out on Instagram. Ellie, can you
Speaker 1: let us know? So it's at comfortably in my skin?
Speaker 2: It's comfortable in my skin with an underscore at the end.
Speaker 2: And I'm shadow band because of the content I put up.
Speaker 2: Instagram hates me, so you have to type in the
Speaker 2: whole word or else you can't find me.
Speaker 1: Instagram hates volvers, so you need to go and find her.
Speaker 1: Dig deep, guys, keep fighting the good fight. Ellie, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us on Life on Cut. Today,
Speaker 1: we loved you. Everyone, go and check out her page
Speaker 1: and anybody if you are feeling self conscious, if you
Speaker 1: have had those questions which so many of us women do,
Speaker 1: please reach out to Ellie or jump on to Comfortable
Speaker 1: in my Skin. Thanks girls, Well that is it from us. Guys.
Speaker 1: We hope that you have loved and gotten something out
Speaker 1: of this little bonus episode. A massive thank you to
Speaker 1: Bond's Blood, Cumpy AND's for making this episode possible and
Speaker 1: we will be back tomorrow with our Ask Uncut episode. Guys,
Speaker 1: please keep those questions rolling in you can send them
Speaker 1: to our dms on the Instagram Life Uncut podcast. We love, love,
Speaker 1: love answering your questions and please remember it keep your
Speaker 1: embarrassing moments coming in. We love the accidentally unfilters and
Speaker 1: we need to get another fresh bunch for the coming week.
Speaker 1: So guys, if you haven't yet left a review, subscribe
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Speaker 1: you know Vidriel, which is telling your mum, tell your dad,
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