Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frimes. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 2: Tell Me when it's okay to end a relationship over text.
Speaker 2: I've had a lot of complex thoughts about this one
Speaker 2: because for some reason not for some reason, dating and
Speaker 2: conversation is always relevant. But what we're seeing and hearing
Speaker 2: more of than usual is almost like the demise of relationships.
Speaker 2: We rarely hear positive relationship content. We got engaged and
Speaker 2: when we love and it's a fairy tale and it's amazing.
Speaker 2: It's like we are experiencing the worst situations ever. Let's
Speaker 2: talk about it, and so we will. Vice recently published
Speaker 2: an article trying to discern when it's okay and when
Speaker 2: it's not okay, and I don't think it's binary, but
Speaker 2: I feel like there would be scenarios where it's more
Speaker 2: appropriate than not. My main point of it is that
Speaker 2: texting is so vital when starting and maintaining a relationship,
Speaker 2: Like a lot of relationships can only function or can
Speaker 2: only grow consistent intimacy because of texting. So to end
Speaker 2: a relationship with one, it seems like it would make sense,
Speaker 2: that would be fair and reasonable. However, it's not really
Speaker 2: the case. And I'm not sure why. For example, a
Speaker 2: lot of people measure the success of their relationship by
Speaker 2: how frequently someone's texting them. Like, we recognize it's an
Speaker 2: important medium of communication. We put a lot of value
Speaker 2: on that medium. Yet when it comes to breaking up
Speaker 2: and ending the relationship that's not working, we're like, it's
Speaker 2: not valuable enough. Suddenly we need words odd. The article
Speaker 2: is titled is it ever okay to call off a
Speaker 2: relationship over message? They've crowdsourced and this is what we
Speaker 2: found out. If you've hit boyfriend girlfriend status, then no.
Speaker 2: Generally no, but it depends on the circumstances and the
Speaker 2: length of the relationship. Do no, it's not show a
Speaker 2: little backbone and at the very least call the person
Speaker 2: general rule of thumb, everyone deserves at least a phone call.
Speaker 2: And then there's a minority that argue that it's totally
Speaker 2: in your own rights to end it. However suits you,
Speaker 2: you have complete control over the notification. And then there
Speaker 2: are some people who are like, Okay, there are exceptions
Speaker 2: to the rules, So let's talk about those exceptions. Number One,
Speaker 2: if it's just a fling, so if you've seen them
Speaker 2: for less than two months, or less than three months,
Speaker 2: or it's just casual a situationship, then you're well within
Speaker 2: your rights to end it via texts. Somebody also says
Speaker 2: if there's been manipulation at play, So if you feel
Speaker 2: as though it's kind of like an abusive situation, a
Speaker 2: manipulative situation, a physically abusive situation, just get out there
Speaker 2: by any means necessary. People have also mentioned that if
Speaker 2: you just struggle with inneral life communication and you feel
Speaker 2: as though you can't get your words out and you
Speaker 2: need to you process better when you're typing, or you
Speaker 2: need time to sit with an emotion, it's fair to
Speaker 2: just do it in a way that suits you. Also,
Speaker 2: if you're a bit concerned that someone's going to misinterpret
Speaker 2: what you're saying and how you're saying it, then just
Speaker 2: get it in writing and have the paper trail. And
Speaker 2: then the last person said, if you feel as though
Speaker 2: time wasting has happened, like they're wasting your time, you're
Speaker 2: wasting their time, don't wait till the next day in
Speaker 2: eighteen days to break it off. Just do it now,
Speaker 2: get it over quickly. What do you feel about breakup text?
Speaker 1: For me, I would say phone call is important I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you've entered boyfriend girlfriend territory, definitely give them like
Speaker 1: a little bit of a heads up if things aren't right.
Speaker 1: But it's in person conversation. I think the common social
Speaker 1: norm is that it should be in person, so in
Speaker 1: order for them to not demonize you as annoying it
Speaker 1: assease like you probably should do it in person because
Speaker 1: it's easier for optic. Because I actually think it's worse
Speaker 1: getting dumped in person or dumping someone in person, like
Speaker 1: it's just horrible, horrible stuff. However, I would say you
Speaker 1: should text them and say, hey, we got to talk.
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling things. I want to talk to you
Speaker 1: on the phone, but if you need a little bit
Speaker 1: of time, like I want to do this, how you
Speaker 1: want to do it? Beautiful because if you give a
Speaker 1: phone call like, hey, are you going like listen listen
Speaker 1: and buddy listen, who's impropriate?
Speaker 2: What do you think? FLEXI Yeah, I like the warning
Speaker 2: text because I feel as though a lot of people
Speaker 2: think they're they're like brolic enough to handle the unsolicited
Speaker 2: pick up the phone or organize a date. Hey, just
Speaker 2: like let's hang out, and then you spring open a
Speaker 2: spring on a breakup. I definitely feel like texting is
Speaker 2: not a medium that we should look at poorly. We
Speaker 2: just need to figure out how to text better. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: text text like you talk. It's a really good habit
Speaker 2: to get into. Yeah, Freeman is really good at that,
Speaker 2: great at it. Pity you can't get into the freebie files.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, unfortunately every master class at one point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but who's going to take the master class with
Speaker 2: no evidence? But she's really good.
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