WEBVTT - Dale Steyn - Ordineroli Speaking

0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:09.280
<v Speaker 1>Ordinarily speaking, you see the monster, but you don't see

0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:09.799
<v Speaker 1>the real meat.

0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:30.280
<v Speaker 2>Takes time. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of

0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:34.400
<v Speaker 2>ordinarily Speaking. Dale Stain is regarded as one of the

0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:38.080
<v Speaker 2>greatest fast bowlers of all time. He retired from the

0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:41.400
<v Speaker 2>game last year with four hundred and thirty nine Test wickets,

0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.279
<v Speaker 2>one hundred and ninety six ODI scalps, as well as

0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:48.239
<v Speaker 2>sixty forty twenty international wickets to his name. But the

0:00:48.240 --> 0:00:51.960
<v Speaker 2>one thing he desperately wanted, a maiden World Cup title

0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:55.720
<v Speaker 2>for South Africa, eluded him. The biggest moment of your

0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:59.560
<v Speaker 2>career what happens when you don't deliver? Dale chares that

0:00:59.720 --> 0:01:03.040
<v Speaker 2>side of the story with brutal honesty and admits it

0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:07.120
<v Speaker 2>gnawed at him for years, maybe even for life. The

0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.440
<v Speaker 2>man who declares he willfully terrified people out on the

0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:13.800
<v Speaker 2>ground is now finding his feet in retirement, navigating the

0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:17.000
<v Speaker 2>anxiety that change brings, and coming to terms with what

0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:20.240
<v Speaker 2>could have been. Knowing he'll never get the chance again.

0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm pleased to say the animal on the pitch is

0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:27.080
<v Speaker 2>replaced by an incredibly caring man off it. He's just

0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:30.039
<v Speaker 2>a country kid at heart and a delightful person to

0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.959
<v Speaker 2>be around. I hope you enjoy getting to know Dale

0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:36.240
<v Speaker 2>Stain in a chat that comes full circle as Dale

0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:50.480
<v Speaker 2>makes a poignant realization at the end. Well, thanks so

0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:52.600
<v Speaker 2>much for joining me, Dar, I appreciate it.

0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:55.720
<v Speaker 1>You are most welcome. We've already had enough laughs before

0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.520
<v Speaker 1>we even started this, so let's see where we go.

0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:00.760
<v Speaker 2>It's the best way to do things, isn't it having

0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:01.440
<v Speaker 2>a laugh first?

0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:02.160
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely?

0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:06.360
<v Speaker 2>I want to start by saying, I've obviously watched you

0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:08.560
<v Speaker 2>for so many years, like so many cricket fans. Have

0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:12.760
<v Speaker 2>you got the bulging eyes, the crazy eyes on the field,

0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:17.040
<v Speaker 2>this intense character. Yeah, working with you, getting to know you,

0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:21.040
<v Speaker 2>it turns out that you are the most chilled, lovely,

0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:25.760
<v Speaker 2>generous guy. And the two just don't align at all.

0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:29.520
<v Speaker 2>What's it like for you being almost two completely different

0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:31.359
<v Speaker 2>people from professional to personal.

0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:35.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Look, I think when you go on to the field,

0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:39.440
<v Speaker 1>you have to kind of be somebody else, you know,

0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:42.480
<v Speaker 1>like to like see like I'm fast bowler, Like I

0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.320
<v Speaker 1>love bowling fast and everything like that. When I was

0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.120
<v Speaker 1>a kid, I love bowling fast, But then I learned

0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.400
<v Speaker 1>all these other things that come with fast bowling, like

0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.400
<v Speaker 1>body language and like the fear factor and all of

0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:54.360
<v Speaker 1>that thing, you know, all those things that kind of

0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.800
<v Speaker 1>come with it. So I created like this kind of

0:02:57.240 --> 0:03:00.640
<v Speaker 1>persona on the field, who I'm not exactly the same

0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.080
<v Speaker 1>off the field too. And then when I got on

0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.640
<v Speaker 1>and I just kind of slipt into that person you know,

0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.200
<v Speaker 1>into that persona, and I do my thing, and then

0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:11.040
<v Speaker 1>off the field, I am who I am?

0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:13.079
<v Speaker 2>So who is this persona that you created?

0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:16.600
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to create somebody that was scary, you know,

0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:19.120
<v Speaker 1>like that's that's what I thought. That's what I was

0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.200
<v Speaker 1>told about fast bowling, you know. And I watched those

0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:23.640
<v Speaker 1>West Indians ball back in the day and watched Shai Bowl.

0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:27.480
<v Speaker 1>I was absolutely petrified as a viewer watching this, and

0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:30.079
<v Speaker 1>I was like this, this scares me, you know, without

0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.720
<v Speaker 1>ever meeting these guys. And then when I started to play,

0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:34.840
<v Speaker 1>I started to realize, maybe this is These are the

0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:37.200
<v Speaker 1>kind of things, these attributes that I needed to include

0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:39.720
<v Speaker 1>into my game. I played against Shane Warne and I

0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:42.720
<v Speaker 1>loved listening to him. I played against him luckily where

0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.160
<v Speaker 1>he sledged guys, not sledged them badly, but like he

0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.400
<v Speaker 1>was very clever with these words. So I picked up

0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:51.440
<v Speaker 1>things like that, especially when he targets people's techniques. He

0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:53.520
<v Speaker 1>makes you feel like you are hitting the ball where

0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:55.840
<v Speaker 1>he wants you to hit the ball, rather than allowing

0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:58.160
<v Speaker 1>you to feel like I've just played the shot that

0:03:58.240 --> 0:03:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to play. He's like, no, no, no, no,

0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:01.760
<v Speaker 1>you played the shot that I wanted you to play.

0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:03.960
<v Speaker 1>So it really makes you think. You know, and then

0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.200
<v Speaker 1>watching other guys like the Quicks, like Shaib and Brettley

0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:08.800
<v Speaker 1>and all of that, I just wanted to take all

0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:12.720
<v Speaker 1>of that, package it into something and of bash it

0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.040
<v Speaker 1>all up and then make it who I wanted it

0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.080
<v Speaker 1>to be, and then guard into the field and scare

0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:19.320
<v Speaker 1>people and take wickets.

0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:23.600
<v Speaker 2>When you saw yourself, did you recognize yourself in those

0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:24.360
<v Speaker 2>crazy eyes?

0:04:25.120 --> 0:04:28.480
<v Speaker 1>They it's the yeah, look it's different. Like when I

0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:30.800
<v Speaker 1>watch myself play. Sometimes I sit down and I watch

0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:32.880
<v Speaker 1>and I watch the early early years and I'm like,

0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:36.279
<v Speaker 1>who is that person? What's going through that kid's mind?

0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.880
<v Speaker 1>You become like this thing through the people that you

0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.000
<v Speaker 1>are around. You know. I was lucky enough that I

0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:43.840
<v Speaker 1>spend time with Darryl cullenan who kind of he would

0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:45.839
<v Speaker 1>put the ball into my hand. He'd be like, you

0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:47.760
<v Speaker 1>do what I tell you to do. You know, otherwise

0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:49.840
<v Speaker 1>I'll find somebody else to do it, you know, and

0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:51.719
<v Speaker 1>you get hard and you you start to do that

0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:53.440
<v Speaker 1>and then it becomes part of your game. But it's

0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:55.240
<v Speaker 1>actually what he wanted, you know. He wanted me to

0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:57.719
<v Speaker 1>bounce people and hit people and everything. But then I

0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.720
<v Speaker 1>found success in that. I've got wickets like it, so

0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:01.839
<v Speaker 1>I just I stole it and I'm like, I'm gonna

0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:03.520
<v Speaker 1>put that into my game. That's gonna become part of

0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:05.200
<v Speaker 1>my game. But it was his game plan, you know,

0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.280
<v Speaker 1>and loads of different examples. But yeah, when I watch it,

0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I don't recognize that human because it's not

0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:14.760
<v Speaker 1>who I actually am. But it's good to slip into

0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.560
<v Speaker 1>that and be that because it can be very successful

0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:19.599
<v Speaker 1>on the field, you know, in sport.

0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.599
<v Speaker 2>Is it hard as well? Though completely pretending to be

0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:25.240
<v Speaker 2>someone else it can be.

0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:28.560
<v Speaker 1>As a matter of fact, I think it's like it's

0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:31.760
<v Speaker 1>quite It's a nice release for me because when I

0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.760
<v Speaker 1>go into the field, everything that I have, like normal

0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.120
<v Speaker 1>life issues, like anybody else like kind of just they

0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:38.839
<v Speaker 1>stay off the field, and I'm able to go into

0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.719
<v Speaker 1>this field and just like express not who I am,

0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.719
<v Speaker 1>but express how I want to go about doing something

0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:48.200
<v Speaker 1>without having the worry of someone sitting there going, oh,

0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:49.880
<v Speaker 1>but he's a nice guy. I actually want people to

0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:51.960
<v Speaker 1>walk into the field thinking, oh, he's a nice guy,

0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:54.719
<v Speaker 1>and then walk into the situation where they feel absolute

0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:58.000
<v Speaker 1>terror and fear, because that's what it is. You know,

0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.920
<v Speaker 1>you should be able to if you can't get wickets

0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:04.560
<v Speaker 1>through guys with skill, sometimes fear is the biggest way

0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.240
<v Speaker 1>of getting poles, especially when it comes to fast bowling.

0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.360
<v Speaker 1>There's nothing more scary than facing a fast piling when

0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:11.840
<v Speaker 1>you feel like your life is on the line. It is,

0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:14.719
<v Speaker 1>and that's an incredible power to have as a fast bowler.

0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:17.280
<v Speaker 1>And I experienced that at a young age where I

0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.680
<v Speaker 1>was probably fourteen, and I was a timid little guy

0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:23.200
<v Speaker 1>at fourteen, and I was playing club cricket against men,

0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:25.400
<v Speaker 1>and when I was flooring these guys, I was hitting

0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:27.599
<v Speaker 1>these guys, you know, and seeing grown men lying on

0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:30.320
<v Speaker 1>the floor almost in tears. There was a power that

0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.320
<v Speaker 1>I'd now experienced for the first time that I never

0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:34.320
<v Speaker 1>felt in my life before. And that's what you get

0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:35.320
<v Speaker 1>when you get onto that field.

0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:37.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm looking across from you, when I'm seeing the crazy

0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:38.839
<v Speaker 2>eyes coming out.

0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.680
<v Speaker 1>Of me right now, starting to slip into it. I'm

0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:43.760
<v Speaker 1>going to turn green at some point, like the Hulk

0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:45.440
<v Speaker 1>just burst through things.

0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:51.039
<v Speaker 2>I love that. So you genuinely enjoyed terrifying people.

0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:54.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, absolutely loved it. Like it just you know, I

0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:56.440
<v Speaker 1>didn't get a kick out of it, like I'd stand

0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.960
<v Speaker 1>there and laugh at somebody, you know, But like I,

0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:02.839
<v Speaker 1>you could smell it, not smell it like physically smell it,

0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:04.599
<v Speaker 1>but you can get a sense of it, like in

0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.520
<v Speaker 1>a whiff of it, like would they say, like a

0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:10.040
<v Speaker 1>wolf or a line or can pick up and track

0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:12.400
<v Speaker 1>blood from a mile away, like I could feel when

0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I would look at two batters and I'd be like, no,

0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:18.240
<v Speaker 1>I can see that you are absolutely petrified, and the

0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.560
<v Speaker 1>other guy he's okay. So I'm going to focus everything

0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:23.400
<v Speaker 1>on you. You are going to be the weakest prey

0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:25.640
<v Speaker 1>and going to be simple and easy for me to get.

0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:27.080
<v Speaker 1>And that's just how I did it.

0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:30.920
<v Speaker 2>I think I've actually worked it out that the reason

0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:33.360
<v Speaker 2>why you're so nice is because you got all your

0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:34.160
<v Speaker 2>anger around.

0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.800
<v Speaker 1>Get away on the field. Yeah, dirt all on the field,

0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:40.200
<v Speaker 1>and don't tweak me before I go out onto the field,

0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:43.840
<v Speaker 1>because just absolutely come out your barrage.

0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:48.160
<v Speaker 2>I love that. Is there any moments where you had

0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:53.680
<v Speaker 2>to pretend where you were feeling less secure within yourself

0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:56.760
<v Speaker 2>or feeling that sense of fear of failure. I guess

0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.400
<v Speaker 2>that you had to convince yourself to be that guy.

0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:03.400
<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of the time I had. There

0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:06.040
<v Speaker 1>was times when I was prepping for a game when

0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.720
<v Speaker 1>I just felt like things are not going well, you know,

0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:12.720
<v Speaker 1>like I don't feel physically good. I'm saw my hamstringers,

0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:16.200
<v Speaker 1>saw I'm struggling with a quad or my body saw

0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:20.000
<v Speaker 1>it's been a rough test match. And then then, as

0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:21.560
<v Speaker 1>the old saying goes, you fake it. You know, you

0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.120
<v Speaker 1>fake it, so you make it. And I would run

0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:26.560
<v Speaker 1>out onto that field and fake the energy and just

0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:29.720
<v Speaker 1>put a put a show on to again, like show

0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.240
<v Speaker 1>the opposition that I'm, yeah, I'm you know, I'm I'm

0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:35.120
<v Speaker 1>going to be in your face today, and then walk

0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:37.679
<v Speaker 1>back into the dressing room absolutely fall down there and

0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:40.120
<v Speaker 1>lie there and just go all right, I need a

0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:42.600
<v Speaker 1>red bull and a coke and you know, and let's go,

0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:44.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, and then just go out there and try

0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:46.400
<v Speaker 1>and do it again. So that was that was tough,

0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:50.000
<v Speaker 1>but then it was always good. My coaches always saw

0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:53.200
<v Speaker 1>the effort that I put in and the mental side

0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:55.040
<v Speaker 1>of things, because it is difficult to try and slip

0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:57.520
<v Speaker 1>into that thing. That also when you go back into

0:08:57.520 --> 0:08:59.280
<v Speaker 1>the dressing room, and it was always strange because I

0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:01.440
<v Speaker 1>found when you walk in the dressing room, people don't

0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:03.680
<v Speaker 1>want you to scream and shout and lose your shit,

0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:05.679
<v Speaker 1>you know. And I wasn't somebody that did a lot

0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:07.560
<v Speaker 1>of that, but if I did, that's sports, you know.

0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:11.000
<v Speaker 1>People do tend to lose their cool sometimes sometimes something

0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:13.200
<v Speaker 1>doesn't go your way, and then someone would come to

0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:14.320
<v Speaker 1>me in the dressing room and be like, oh, you

0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:15.959
<v Speaker 1>must calm down, and I'm like, you know, what do

0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:17.920
<v Speaker 1>you mind if I curse? It's like, you know, of course,

0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:20.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, fuck you, you know you you want me to

0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:21.640
<v Speaker 1>be this animal on the field. But then when I

0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:23.920
<v Speaker 1>come off the field and I'm in my safe space

0:09:23.960 --> 0:09:25.640
<v Speaker 1>in the dressing room, you come and tell me that

0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:27.120
<v Speaker 1>I need to put a lit on it. No, it's not,

0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.600
<v Speaker 1>that's not gonna happen. Give me my five minutes. And

0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.480
<v Speaker 1>then you get the monster out on the field and

0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:33.040
<v Speaker 1>you might get a little bit of him in the

0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:35.640
<v Speaker 1>dressing room, you know, but not always, you know, it's

0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:37.760
<v Speaker 1>just but it was it's hard work to try and

0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:39.200
<v Speaker 1>like manage that. But as soon as I got off

0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:41.080
<v Speaker 1>the field most of the time have a shower, and

0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:44.040
<v Speaker 1>you get off into public and everything, you just slip

0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.080
<v Speaker 1>into who you are. You know, just leave that at

0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:46.920
<v Speaker 1>the ground, you know.

0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:50.840
<v Speaker 2>Because that always fascinates me with athletes, particularly really physical

0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:53.520
<v Speaker 2>sports or like you're saying, a sport where you, you know,

0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:57.480
<v Speaker 2>you're essentially trying to terrify somebody, How you get in

0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:01.400
<v Speaker 2>and out of that mindset because you are still human

0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:03.320
<v Speaker 2>at the end of the day. It's not, I imagine,

0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:05.200
<v Speaker 2>not just a switch you can flick.

0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:09.599
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So I started to like work this out that

0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:11.559
<v Speaker 1>the moment I put on my uniform is when I

0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:14.880
<v Speaker 1>slipped into the monster I wanted to be, you know,

0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:16.840
<v Speaker 1>all this villain or whatever it was. I grew up

0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:19.920
<v Speaker 1>watching like anybody like watching cartoons, and I didn't watch

0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:21.679
<v Speaker 1>a lot of it, but I love Batman. Batman was

0:10:21.679 --> 0:10:24.160
<v Speaker 1>a big one for me. She still quite enjoy watching.

0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:26.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, they're dark and they you know, they're very

0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.439
<v Speaker 1>They're good like Christian Bale are great. But I found

0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:32.839
<v Speaker 1>like Batman is probably the most relatable of all your

0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:35.640
<v Speaker 1>superheroes because he's actually just human, you know, who puts

0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:38.040
<v Speaker 1>this cape on and hides his face and he goes

0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:40.200
<v Speaker 1>out there. He's got no superhuman powers, Like if you

0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:42.600
<v Speaker 1>shoot him, you can die. You know. Where's all the

0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.920
<v Speaker 1>other super humans are like that, you shoot them, they

0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.079
<v Speaker 1>recover and all that kind of crap, you know. But

0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:49.320
<v Speaker 1>like Batman for me was like very relatable, and I

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:50.960
<v Speaker 1>was like cool, I want to do that when it

0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:52.400
<v Speaker 1>comes to cricket. So as soon as I put my

0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:55.960
<v Speaker 1>uniform on, whether it be playing for Franchise Crickets, Melbourne

0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.800
<v Speaker 1>Stars or RCB or Sunrises whoever it was or South Africa,

0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:05.560
<v Speaker 1>I become this superhuman, you know, and nothing's gonna fucking

0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:08.480
<v Speaker 1>stop me. Nothing will stop me, not even a broken shoulder.

0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:11.280
<v Speaker 1>I am gonna go. And then when I come off,

0:11:11.679 --> 0:11:15.079
<v Speaker 1>then I can slip back into who who I want,

0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:18.160
<v Speaker 1>who I am. You know, Batman still kind of fakes

0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:21.679
<v Speaker 1>it like he's this billionaire, but I not that. Then

0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:23.520
<v Speaker 1>I can be who who I want people to believe,

0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:25.480
<v Speaker 1>who I am, who I feel I am. You know.

0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:29.400
<v Speaker 1>I enjoy surfing and nature and outdoors and dogs and

0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:31.560
<v Speaker 1>laughing and crying and all that kind of crap. But

0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.679
<v Speaker 1>then on the field, I want to be that, you know, because.

0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:37.960
<v Speaker 2>You are a big softer. You cry Reality TV terrible.

0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:40.840
<v Speaker 1>Don't watch me sit here and I've been. I've told you,

0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:44.080
<v Speaker 1>I've been. Get into this dark hole, black hole of

0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:48.280
<v Speaker 1>YouTube with American idols and watching like nine year olds

0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:51.400
<v Speaker 1>come there with I don't know you know, and they sing.

0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:55.720
<v Speaker 1>I just I start crying alone in my room in

0:11:55.760 --> 0:12:01.240
<v Speaker 1>a bubble, Terrible. Who have I.

0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:06.559
<v Speaker 2>Become the monster crying in a bubble at a little

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:08.840
<v Speaker 2>girl who won a contest? I love it.

0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.559
<v Speaker 1>It's good, it's inspirational. Everyone should have a tier every

0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:12.080
<v Speaker 1>now and then.

0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:17.480
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely real men cry. Tell me about before we get

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:19.760
<v Speaker 2>stuck in because you mentioned the shoulder just there, and

0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:22.480
<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about the injuries that you've overcome.

0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:24.680
<v Speaker 2>But I just want to go backwards a little bit

0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:28.280
<v Speaker 2>because you grew up in a real little town. Tell

0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:29.800
<v Speaker 2>me about it.

0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.280
<v Speaker 1>So it's like this tiny little town that's connected to

0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:36.439
<v Speaker 1>the Kruger National Park, Like there's nothing that happens there.

0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.520
<v Speaker 1>It's like a tourist town, but there's a big mine.

0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:42.240
<v Speaker 1>My whole family actually comes from Zimbabwe, so I think

0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:45.200
<v Speaker 1>they went down for a funeral my grandfather went down

0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:48.760
<v Speaker 1>for a funeral and there was like job application going

0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:51.560
<v Speaker 1>around or they needed somebody to do a specific job.

0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.079
<v Speaker 1>And his name was popped up because he was there,

0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:55.600
<v Speaker 1>and he said, I'll come, but I'm bringing all my

0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:59.400
<v Speaker 1>sons and son in laws. So my dad joined the party.

0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:01.600
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, I was the only one that was born

0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:05.120
<v Speaker 1>in South Africa in Pallabora. My whole family was born

0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:07.280
<v Speaker 1>in Zimbabwe, and I feel like I'm an outcast just

0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:12.920
<v Speaker 1>from that, you know, alone but tiny little town, no

0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.120
<v Speaker 1>fences around the place. So we had loads of animals

0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:18.720
<v Speaker 1>cruising through all the time. Like when I went to school,

0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:22.400
<v Speaker 1>ride our bicycles or cycle or walk through the bush

0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.480
<v Speaker 1>and there, I mean we would see tons of animals, elephants, lines,

0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:27.920
<v Speaker 1>you name it, like daily basis, you know.

0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.080
<v Speaker 2>Literally just walking this school, you'd come across these sort.

0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:33.640
<v Speaker 1>Of animals, Yeah, cruising through going on the way to school.

0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:35.400
<v Speaker 1>And then sometimes the police would be there and they

0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:37.360
<v Speaker 1>would tell us you're not allowed to walk this way

0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:39.440
<v Speaker 1>today because it's a little dirt track that goes through

0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.079
<v Speaker 1>to the school. And they're like, you're not allowed to

0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:42.800
<v Speaker 1>go this way because there's two male lines. And we're

0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:44.559
<v Speaker 1>like shit, Now we've got to go the long way around,

0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:48.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, the bicycles. It was not that far, but

0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.760
<v Speaker 1>still like you can't go the shortcut, you know, you.

0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:52.080
<v Speaker 2>Weren't willing to take on the lines.

0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I didn't mind. I mean like I don't. I genuinely

0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.840
<v Speaker 1>wish people can go, like google the place, you know,

0:13:57.880 --> 0:13:59.720
<v Speaker 1>and just google images of it. My dad is a

0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.360
<v Speaker 1>green keep on the golf course there, and I mean

0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.280
<v Speaker 1>as a kid, I learned how to drive on that

0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.840
<v Speaker 1>golf course. And we saw everything we've seen, lion kills,

0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.360
<v Speaker 1>leopard kills, cheetah kills, wild dog kills. We saw twenty

0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:14.840
<v Speaker 1>one wild dog eat impola like race through number seventeen.

0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:17.360
<v Speaker 1>It's the water, it's a bit. It's a hole that's

0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:21.280
<v Speaker 1>got a big water crossover. They chased an impola through

0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:24.640
<v Speaker 1>and they ripped that impoller to nothing. In about three minutes.

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.760
<v Speaker 1>Twenty one wild Dog's gone, im Pola disappeared. We watched

0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:31.240
<v Speaker 1>that and yeah, I ate it on the green you know,

0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:34.280
<v Speaker 1>like you can google this. It's real. It's right there.

0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:36.080
<v Speaker 1>And for a long time my dad used to make

0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 1>videos and then send them into There was a show

0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:41.440
<v Speaker 1>in South Africa. It was called Felt focus. It's Afrikaans

0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:45.440
<v Speaker 1>that means bush focus, or it was called fifty to

0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.560
<v Speaker 1>fifty bush focus, felt focus. And you could send your

0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:50.480
<v Speaker 1>home videos in of what you've seen, and my dad

0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 1>was a regular. He used to send videos in of

0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.240
<v Speaker 1>like pythons that crossed the whole road. We used to

0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.720
<v Speaker 1>get out and try and move them, and lions and

0:14:58.080 --> 0:14:59.480
<v Speaker 1>all of this kind of stuff on the golf course

0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:01.400
<v Speaker 1>because people were just amazed that this was happening on

0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:02.880
<v Speaker 1>the golf course and this was on my doorstep.

0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:04.920
<v Speaker 2>You didn't have to go far from motivation to be

0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:05.440
<v Speaker 2>the monster.

0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:07.920
<v Speaker 1>No no, And I think a lot of that is

0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:09.960
<v Speaker 1>like where I grew up is why is who I

0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.120
<v Speaker 1>am on the field? You know, I watched animals in

0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:14.480
<v Speaker 1>the way that they behaved, and like I knew that

0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:17.280
<v Speaker 1>they target the weakest link. It's quite simple. You know,

0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:18.680
<v Speaker 1>if you're gonna take if a line's going to take

0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:20.000
<v Speaker 1>down a buffalo, he's not going to take it down

0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:22.240
<v Speaker 1>the biggest bull. He isn't to take down the cough

0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.200
<v Speaker 1>or the one that's struggling or something like that. And

0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.400
<v Speaker 1>in cricket, I just found like that was what I

0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:29.480
<v Speaker 1>wanted to do. I wanted to get the big wickets,

0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.400
<v Speaker 1>you know. So if David Warner is there, he's batting

0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:33.520
<v Speaker 1>on one hundred and eighty or ninety or whatever it is,

0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.360
<v Speaker 1>I want to get him out. But if the other

0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:38.560
<v Speaker 1>bloke that's batting with him is more likely to get out,

0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:40.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to break it open. I'm going to get

0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:42.640
<v Speaker 1>that guy out. And that's what happens in nature. I

0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:44.360
<v Speaker 1>just kind of took it from there and just went

0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:46.880
<v Speaker 1>to the creep field. I used everything that I experienced

0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:48.200
<v Speaker 1>in life and took it onto the field.

0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Did you ever have any close calls with any of.

0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.680
<v Speaker 1>Those, well, life, Yeah, we went fishing, me my best mate.

0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:57.200
<v Speaker 1>We walked into a female line once. I don't know

0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:59.160
<v Speaker 1>who got a bigger fright, whether she got the bigger

0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:01.600
<v Speaker 1>fright than what we did. We'd parked at this point.

0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:05.160
<v Speaker 1>We used to fish at this dam and then became privatized,

0:16:05.200 --> 0:16:07.480
<v Speaker 1>so we would still sneak on and park our cord

0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:10.640
<v Speaker 1>the bush and then walk and yeah, we came within

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:13.480
<v Speaker 1>about twenty meters of her and so about a pitch length,

0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.320
<v Speaker 1>and yeah, she got a bigger fright than what we did.

0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.720
<v Speaker 1>I reckon, I could see her eyes and then we

0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.640
<v Speaker 1>just back pedaled. And she cruised off and that was that.

0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.040
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I've been chased by hippo many times.

0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it must be terrifying. They there deadliest animal in

0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:30.160
<v Speaker 2>the world.

0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.920
<v Speaker 1>Don't Yeah, yeah, yeah they are. But you time it,

0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:34.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, you just you know, like when they like

0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:36.880
<v Speaker 1>you can see they're coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, and

0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:39.160
<v Speaker 1>then when they get like within five meters or ten

0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:41.560
<v Speaker 1>meters of the water, I kind of work it out,

0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:44.040
<v Speaker 1>like can they get out quicker than I can get away?

0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:47.680
<v Speaker 1>And when they do get out, you fucking go, you know,

0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.800
<v Speaker 1>you get up that tree as quickly as you can.

0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:56.240
<v Speaker 1>That happened many, many times. Yeah, a couple of times

0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.080
<v Speaker 1>that we were fishing when we would be young and

0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.000
<v Speaker 1>want to cross over because we don't walk around the wole.

0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.160
<v Speaker 1>So we walked through but way deep and then get

0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 1>to the other side and see there's a big croc,

0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:06.200
<v Speaker 1>like a three meter crock, and you just think, why

0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:11.160
<v Speaker 1>do we do that? You know, Like, yeah, Discovery Channel

0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:13.199
<v Speaker 1>ruined everything for me because now I sit back and

0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:15.280
<v Speaker 1>I think, how did I not die?

0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:20.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm also very very happy that I've managed to get

0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:24.840
<v Speaker 2>a park the car from your it's a freaking accent.

0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:31.600
<v Speaker 2>Now that you're retired, do you fully appreciate how incredible

0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:35.840
<v Speaker 2>it is that a guy from that town ended up

0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:39.040
<v Speaker 2>being the number one fast bowler in the world for

0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 2>a significant amount of time.

0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:43.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I still don't know how that happened. I mean,

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:45.680
<v Speaker 1>I've told you my story, which is a very funny one,

0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.240
<v Speaker 1>and we'll keep that one private, but it's as good.

0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:51.000
<v Speaker 1>But you know, there was something in the water in

0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:53.119
<v Speaker 1>my street that I grew up in because like one

0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:54.720
<v Speaker 1>of my best mates went on to become a really

0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:58.119
<v Speaker 1>good photographer and he's on Instagram. Who who got you

0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:00.639
<v Speaker 1>to follow? Now? He's been on Jimmy Fallon and we've

0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:03.080
<v Speaker 1>spoken about this and I'm just giving him heads up.

0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Marlon da Toy. And then there was like two other

0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:06.800
<v Speaker 1>people that were that were in my street. They were

0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:09.040
<v Speaker 1>the same age as me. They went onto one his

0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:11.000
<v Speaker 1>name is Logan Crobola. He went on to be the

0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:13.280
<v Speaker 1>lead singer of a band in South Africa called Cutting

0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:17.040
<v Speaker 1>Jade and they were massive in South Africa. And then

0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:21.879
<v Speaker 1>Warren his brother. Logan's brother, Warren was an Olympic swimmer

0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.560
<v Speaker 1>for South Africa and I think he won bronze at

0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.560
<v Speaker 1>one of the Olympics and we all lived in the

0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:30.040
<v Speaker 1>same street growing up out of this one town. So yeah,

0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:32.560
<v Speaker 1>we got good. We got the good water. You know,

0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:34.200
<v Speaker 1>everybody else got the shitty water.

0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:38.919
<v Speaker 2>Like I don't know, they brewedomed off there. So this

0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:42.320
<v Speaker 2>podcast is all about resilience, and obviously you've shown a

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:45.239
<v Speaker 2>heap just coming from such a small town to end

0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 2>up where you are. But we were talking about the

0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:51.439
<v Speaker 2>pressures of being an elite athlete and also you know

0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:55.200
<v Speaker 2>the Indian team for example, and a billion people watching

0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.040
<v Speaker 2>them in those big pressure moments, and you told me

0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:00.680
<v Speaker 2>the hardest moment of your cricketing career was the twenty

0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:05.399
<v Speaker 2>fifteen World Cup and the semifinal. For context for people,

0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.760
<v Speaker 2>can you give people an idea of the pressure that

0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:14.240
<v Speaker 2>exists on South African cricketers in World Cups and the

0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:15.640
<v Speaker 2>history that exists there.

0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:19.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think we've just come with us. We've been

0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:22.080
<v Speaker 1>such a good team. You know, we came from a

0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:26.119
<v Speaker 1>pretty difficult We had a bad start, you know in

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.639
<v Speaker 1>the world. You know, we had a Party eight and

0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:33.639
<v Speaker 1>we we weren't great, you know, and we've tried to

0:19:33.680 --> 0:19:36.640
<v Speaker 1>rectify that stuff since and we've come onto the map

0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:40.240
<v Speaker 1>and we've done really well. We've created some great cricketers

0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:41.960
<v Speaker 1>and we've beaten the best teams in the world. But

0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:44.320
<v Speaker 1>then when it goes to World Cups, we haven't managed

0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:46.919
<v Speaker 1>to win one yet. And they're tough because they happened

0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:49.600
<v Speaker 1>once every four years and we haven't been around for

0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:51.280
<v Speaker 1>a very long time. I think since ninety two we

0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:53.359
<v Speaker 1>were kind of reintroduced, but we were a really good

0:19:53.440 --> 0:19:56.640
<v Speaker 1>cricket team back then. The disappointing thing is that we've

0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:59.439
<v Speaker 1>had so many fantastic cricketers come out of South Africa

0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:02.159
<v Speaker 1>and at some point in time we've all also played

0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:06.560
<v Speaker 1>in one team. So you would expect something, you know,

0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:10.080
<v Speaker 1>something from us, but it just hasn't happened. And I'm

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:12.879
<v Speaker 1>hoping now coming into the future. Now, like with the

0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:14.959
<v Speaker 1>amount of World Cups they are, they happen kind of

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:17.800
<v Speaker 1>like regularly now twenty twenty World Cups, the World Cup

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:20.840
<v Speaker 1>happens every four years. With them happening so regularly, now

0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:23.560
<v Speaker 1>there might be a chance that South Africa might sneak one,

0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:26.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, in the in the next five to ten years,

0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:27.359
<v Speaker 1>we might be able to win one or two and

0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:30.520
<v Speaker 1>that would be fantastic because we've produced some great cricketers.

0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:35.720
<v Speaker 1>But it does come with a lot of pressure, especially

0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:38.840
<v Speaker 1>because our other favorite team in South Africa is the

0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.640
<v Speaker 1>Springbok Rugany team who've won a couple of World Cups already,

0:20:42.240 --> 0:20:44.080
<v Speaker 1>and we're good mates of them, and they're not scry

0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:47.520
<v Speaker 1>to tell us that either. So yeah, it's been rough,

0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:51.080
<v Speaker 1>and I think in twenty fifteen we felt like that

0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:54.199
<v Speaker 1>was the one. Maybe twenty and eleven we felt like

0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:57.680
<v Speaker 1>we stood a good chance and we really messed it

0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:00.919
<v Speaker 1>up against New Zealand. We were walking game essentially, and

0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:04.280
<v Speaker 1>we messed it up, knocked out of that one. And

0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:07.800
<v Speaker 1>then in twenty fifteen we felt like things were things

0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:11.280
<v Speaker 1>were happening, and yeah, Brandon McCollums team came out and

0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:15.359
<v Speaker 1>just blew us away with the bat, and unfortunately I

0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:18.119
<v Speaker 1>was the I was on the receiving end of the

0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:21.479
<v Speaker 1>runs being scored off my bowling, and that I'll just

0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:22.720
<v Speaker 1>have to live with for the rest of my love.

0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 2>You say that with a half smile on your face,

0:21:26.000 --> 0:21:28.239
<v Speaker 2>but you mean it, don't You have to live with

0:21:28.359 --> 0:21:29.080
<v Speaker 2>that feeling?

0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:32.160
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, I mean I bowled that final ball,

0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, And it wouldn't have made it any different

0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:37.280
<v Speaker 1>if he, like if he nicked it for four. I

0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:40.280
<v Speaker 1>would have felt different, but he smashed me for six,

0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:43.320
<v Speaker 1>like out into the crowd, you know. And it was

0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:45.920
<v Speaker 1>crazy because it was Grant Elliott. I think he had

0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:48.959
<v Speaker 1>he got mad in the match, but he had nicked

0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:54.280
<v Speaker 1>and prodded and dropped and mishit everything up until that

0:21:54.560 --> 0:21:58.720
<v Speaker 1>one shot, you know. So it was like that was

0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.040
<v Speaker 1>even more like a rubbed it in even more for

0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:03.399
<v Speaker 1>me because at that point I just felt like this

0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:05.240
<v Speaker 1>guy couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.

0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:07.520
<v Speaker 1>And then bang he hits me out of the ground,

0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.560
<v Speaker 1>you know. So and credit to him because he just

0:22:10.600 --> 0:22:12.840
<v Speaker 1>stuck in and he got the whole He got New

0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:15.199
<v Speaker 1>Zealand over the line. But yeah, that has to live

0:22:15.280 --> 0:22:16.560
<v Speaker 1>with me. You know. It's not like he nicked me

0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:18.320
<v Speaker 1>for four and I go, oh, you know, we lost

0:22:18.320 --> 0:22:20.680
<v Speaker 1>it because he edged it for four. I went for six.

0:22:20.720 --> 0:22:23.119
<v Speaker 1>That's the That's like the biggest insult for a bowler

0:22:23.160 --> 0:22:24.919
<v Speaker 1>that can happen. As you get hit for six and

0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:26.600
<v Speaker 1>then get knocked out of a WORL Cup. It's like

0:22:26.640 --> 0:22:27.399
<v Speaker 1>a double whammy.

0:22:28.080 --> 0:22:30.720
<v Speaker 2>So for context for people listening, like you said, there

0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:33.000
<v Speaker 2>were so many chances to get him out, miss run out,

0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:35.960
<v Speaker 2>to ab you know, was so upset. Abd Villiers was

0:22:36.000 --> 0:22:39.840
<v Speaker 2>so upset after that, and there were chances it just

0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:42.000
<v Speaker 2>happened to be that you were the bowler in the

0:22:42.040 --> 0:22:44.760
<v Speaker 2>final over. They needed twelve off the final over. Can

0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:48.280
<v Speaker 2>you tell me the mindset of an elite athlete in

0:22:48.320 --> 0:22:51.200
<v Speaker 2>that moment, with the context of the pressure that you've

0:22:51.280 --> 0:22:53.880
<v Speaker 2>just spoken about of a country like South Africa.

0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:56.000
<v Speaker 1>So I wasn't feeling any pressure. That's the crazy thing.

0:22:56.040 --> 0:22:58.680
<v Speaker 1>I was standing at third man that over before I

0:22:58.720 --> 0:23:00.960
<v Speaker 1>can't remember who boldy over may have been more and

0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:04.600
<v Speaker 1>more coal, and I was standing at third man, and

0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:07.760
<v Speaker 1>I was very relaxed, and Gary Kirsten was standing. There

0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:10.840
<v Speaker 1>was Gary Russell Dominger may have been there, and they

0:23:10.840 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 1>were looking at me. I could see the bench and

0:23:12.280 --> 0:23:15.080
<v Speaker 1>I actually turned to them. I said, boys, relax, I've

0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:18.320
<v Speaker 1>got this like I've got it. It's not an issue.

0:23:18.480 --> 0:23:21.960
<v Speaker 1>I've got it. That's how relaxed I felt. But Dan Vittoria,

0:23:21.960 --> 0:23:24.040
<v Speaker 1>I think first ball may have cut me for four

0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:28.800
<v Speaker 1>very short boundary and then ran one to a buy

0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:31.280
<v Speaker 1>or something. You know, there's some small little things. I

0:23:31.280 --> 0:23:33.360
<v Speaker 1>can't remember the whole over. I watched it last year

0:23:33.400 --> 0:23:36.800
<v Speaker 1>for the first time over, and I hadn't wanted to

0:23:36.840 --> 0:23:38.240
<v Speaker 1>watch it because I was just like, I just want

0:23:38.240 --> 0:23:40.240
<v Speaker 1>to get rid of this memory. It's a terrible memory.

0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:42.119
<v Speaker 1>It's bad enough getting knocked out. I don't want to

0:23:42.119 --> 0:23:43.800
<v Speaker 1>watch all six balls. I don't really care what happened.

0:23:43.840 --> 0:23:46.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, we lost. That's all that really, you know, matters.

0:23:47.440 --> 0:23:49.720
<v Speaker 1>But there were little moments in that game that were

0:23:49.800 --> 0:23:52.840
<v Speaker 1>leading up to the last over where we should have won,

0:23:53.040 --> 0:23:56.520
<v Speaker 1>where we could have won, and a lot of focus

0:23:56.600 --> 0:23:59.760
<v Speaker 1>then goes to the ultimate thing, which is the runs

0:23:59.760 --> 0:24:02.399
<v Speaker 1>being it and I have to live with that, like

0:24:02.440 --> 0:24:05.359
<v Speaker 1>I said, but leading up to that, I know in

0:24:05.400 --> 0:24:06.800
<v Speaker 1>my mind that there was a lot of those little

0:24:06.840 --> 0:24:09.119
<v Speaker 1>things that we should have done better. But at the

0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:10.520
<v Speaker 1>end of the day, I take the run for it.

0:24:11.440 --> 0:24:13.520
<v Speaker 2>So when that six is hit, how do you feel?

0:24:14.000 --> 0:24:19.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Shattered? You know, just absolutely like because you feel

0:24:19.200 --> 0:24:22.159
<v Speaker 1>like you've got it. You know. It's not like I

0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:24.600
<v Speaker 1>was not planning on losing that, you know, not even

0:24:24.720 --> 0:24:26.480
<v Speaker 1>as I let go of the ball. It wasn't like

0:24:26.520 --> 0:24:28.280
<v Speaker 1>I was running in thinking to myself, I'm going to

0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:31.239
<v Speaker 1>bowl this ball to prevent him from winning. I'm going

0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:34.200
<v Speaker 1>to bowl this ball to get us over the line.

0:24:34.240 --> 0:24:36.560
<v Speaker 1>That's the mindset. You know, there's two different ways of

0:24:36.600 --> 0:24:39.400
<v Speaker 1>thinking about it. And often if you're thinking the other way,

0:24:39.440 --> 0:24:41.720
<v Speaker 1>where you think I need a bowl of delivery to

0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:44.600
<v Speaker 1>stop him from hitting me for runs, that's when you

0:24:44.600 --> 0:24:46.840
<v Speaker 1>go for runs. Whereas if your mindset is I'm going

0:24:46.880 --> 0:24:48.720
<v Speaker 1>to bowl this ball to get him out or to

0:24:48.800 --> 0:24:52.280
<v Speaker 1>fucking nail this, that's when you get it right. And

0:24:52.280 --> 0:24:54.520
<v Speaker 1>that was my mindset. But yeah, he got it right.

0:24:54.560 --> 0:24:56.479
<v Speaker 1>I mean he was obviously thinking the same way I was,

0:24:59.119 --> 0:25:00.760
<v Speaker 1>and slightly more and bang.

0:25:00.880 --> 0:25:04.119
<v Speaker 2>You know the moments after, how do you feel?

0:25:04.560 --> 0:25:08.199
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, completely shouted and I went down and immediately like

0:25:08.280 --> 0:25:10.840
<v Speaker 1>I went into you get like this fight or flight

0:25:10.960 --> 0:25:15.840
<v Speaker 1>kind of like mode, you know, and I immediately just

0:25:15.880 --> 0:25:17.879
<v Speaker 1>thought about everybody else that was in the team, like

0:25:17.920 --> 0:25:20.399
<v Speaker 1>straight away, like I was like, don't think about yourself,

0:25:20.400 --> 0:25:22.439
<v Speaker 1>don't think about yourself. This is what I'm telling myself.

0:25:22.440 --> 0:25:25.239
<v Speaker 1>So I got up. I may have been lying down.

0:25:25.320 --> 0:25:29.240
<v Speaker 1>I think Grant actually picked me up, ye, image, Yeah,

0:25:29.240 --> 0:25:33.280
<v Speaker 1>it was amazing, and I don't remember I said well done,

0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:35.400
<v Speaker 1>But at the moment I didn't want to like give

0:25:35.480 --> 0:25:37.600
<v Speaker 1>up too much, but I want to show that I'm

0:25:37.600 --> 0:25:40.119
<v Speaker 1>happy for them because they played a fantastic game, you know,

0:25:40.200 --> 0:25:43.280
<v Speaker 1>Like I love the game and I actually don't mind losing,

0:25:43.440 --> 0:25:46.880
<v Speaker 1>like especially if somebody else has played incredibly well. I'm

0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:48.520
<v Speaker 1>a big fan of cricket, you know, I'm a big

0:25:48.560 --> 0:25:50.840
<v Speaker 1>fan of winning and losing. You learn a lot more

0:25:50.840 --> 0:25:52.520
<v Speaker 1>when you lose than when you do when you're winning,

0:25:52.920 --> 0:25:54.440
<v Speaker 1>and that's just part of life. You know. I've actually

0:25:54.440 --> 0:25:57.119
<v Speaker 1>lost a lot in my life than i've won, luckily

0:25:57.160 --> 0:25:59.560
<v Speaker 1>out a good career, and people can argue that, but like,

0:25:59.600 --> 0:26:01.879
<v Speaker 1>I don't mind losing, you know, so quickly you had

0:26:01.960 --> 0:26:03.760
<v Speaker 1>to like slip into that mode that this is not

0:26:03.800 --> 0:26:06.040
<v Speaker 1>about you, this is not about you. Walk into the

0:26:06.119 --> 0:26:07.920
<v Speaker 1>dressing room and there was tears all around. There was

0:26:07.920 --> 0:26:10.080
<v Speaker 1>a lot of young guys that were that were crying

0:26:10.119 --> 0:26:11.960
<v Speaker 1>and they were they were upsets, and I just felt like,

0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:14.720
<v Speaker 1>this is a moment for you. This is the bigger

0:26:14.760 --> 0:26:16.439
<v Speaker 1>moment for you right now. It's to go around and

0:26:16.480 --> 0:26:18.320
<v Speaker 1>tell the boys it's gonna be okay. So I'd like

0:26:18.400 --> 0:26:20.960
<v Speaker 1>went to everybody with a smile on my face, not joyous,

0:26:21.000 --> 0:26:23.400
<v Speaker 1>but with a smile on my face. It's gonna be okay.

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:26.400
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be okay. Don't worry, boys, you got another one.

0:26:26.440 --> 0:26:28.760
<v Speaker 1>We can have another one, you know, and like really

0:26:28.880 --> 0:26:31.920
<v Speaker 1>hold hold it together. And then I can remember walking

0:26:31.920 --> 0:26:33.879
<v Speaker 1>into my room at the hotel and as I walked in,

0:26:33.960 --> 0:26:37.680
<v Speaker 1>I just fucking screamed, you know, like threw my back

0:26:37.680 --> 0:26:39.880
<v Speaker 1>back on the floor, took my head in my hands,

0:26:39.920 --> 0:26:43.359
<v Speaker 1>and like just like I just fucking screamed NonStop. Like

0:26:44.280 --> 0:26:46.840
<v Speaker 1>it was. You almost want to get upset about it,

0:26:46.880 --> 0:26:48.639
<v Speaker 1>you know, because I feel sorry for that guy. You know,

0:26:48.680 --> 0:26:50.840
<v Speaker 1>he had to have a lot of he had a

0:26:50.840 --> 0:26:57.600
<v Speaker 1>lot on him. Anyway, We've come and gone yeah, and

0:26:57.640 --> 0:26:59.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm yeah, I'm still alive.

0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:02.720
<v Speaker 2>You're getting upset over it, You've got tears in your eyes.

0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:05.919
<v Speaker 2>What is it that gets you upset in this moment?

0:27:08.560 --> 0:27:12.840
<v Speaker 1>I just it's it's a lot to put onto people,

0:27:13.080 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 1>you know. And I think at that time, like there

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:17.359
<v Speaker 1>was a lot of other people that could have like

0:27:17.760 --> 0:27:21.359
<v Speaker 1>held that responsibility, like, but I carried a lot, you know,

0:27:21.680 --> 0:27:23.560
<v Speaker 1>I felt like I carried a lot. I'm sure everybody

0:27:23.560 --> 0:27:25.720
<v Speaker 1>else did. I'm pretty certain Abe felt the same and

0:27:26.320 --> 0:27:28.639
<v Speaker 1>more needed and everything. But I think because it happened

0:27:28.680 --> 0:27:32.440
<v Speaker 1>to me, like I wanted to carry a lot more

0:27:32.480 --> 0:27:34.120
<v Speaker 1>than everybody else, and I wanted to show a lot

0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:36.919
<v Speaker 1>more that everything would be okay. But it was heartbreaking,

0:27:37.080 --> 0:27:37.960
<v Speaker 1>you know. It was.

0:27:39.480 --> 0:27:41.040
<v Speaker 2>You put a lot of pressure on yourself and then

0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:44.160
<v Speaker 2>you feel it externally as well. How did you get

0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:46.840
<v Speaker 2>through that evening and then the coming days?

0:27:47.280 --> 0:27:49.359
<v Speaker 1>So the next day was great, just kind of like

0:27:49.960 --> 0:27:52.280
<v Speaker 1>I can't remember how I fell asleep that night. It

0:27:52.320 --> 0:27:54.720
<v Speaker 1>was just a shit night, you know, you kick and

0:27:54.760 --> 0:27:58.040
<v Speaker 1>toss and turn and everything. But we were we were

0:27:58.119 --> 0:27:59.800
<v Speaker 1>kind of fucked because we couldn't get a flight out

0:27:59.800 --> 0:28:03.480
<v Speaker 1>of out of Auckland, so we had to wait. And

0:28:03.640 --> 0:28:06.240
<v Speaker 1>I think we spent two days in Auckland and it

0:28:06.359 --> 0:28:09.240
<v Speaker 1>was actually really nice because I think Aby's family was.

0:28:09.280 --> 0:28:10.760
<v Speaker 1>There was a couple of different families that have come

0:28:10.800 --> 0:28:12.879
<v Speaker 1>to watch. And the next day we all got together,

0:28:12.920 --> 0:28:15.639
<v Speaker 1>we went for lunch. You could see the boys were hurting,

0:28:15.800 --> 0:28:17.600
<v Speaker 1>Like the guys were hurting, but we try to kick

0:28:17.600 --> 0:28:20.639
<v Speaker 1>into normal life as quickly as possible, just for that time,

0:28:21.160 --> 0:28:23.240
<v Speaker 1>enjoy our company because we're all rushing off to the

0:28:23.240 --> 0:28:27.120
<v Speaker 1>IPL after that. And yeah, it was difficult because then

0:28:27.119 --> 0:28:28.399
<v Speaker 1>when you go when you were at least when you

0:28:28.480 --> 0:28:31.000
<v Speaker 1>got your mates and your teammates and stuff like that.

0:28:31.040 --> 0:28:33.119
<v Speaker 1>You can kind of bounce off each other. You go

0:28:33.200 --> 0:28:35.879
<v Speaker 1>outside and get some fresh air, and someone will come

0:28:35.920 --> 0:28:37.800
<v Speaker 1>out there and they'll they'll put them around you, or

0:28:37.840 --> 0:28:39.920
<v Speaker 1>you put your hom around them and you say you're okay. Yeah,

0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:42.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, you're okay. You're not alone. But then when

0:28:42.360 --> 0:28:44.920
<v Speaker 1>you go to the IPL, often you go to a

0:28:44.960 --> 0:28:47.640
<v Speaker 1>team and there's nobody else that's from your team is

0:28:47.680 --> 0:28:50.560
<v Speaker 1>in that space. Is really difficult. Now now you are

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:53.440
<v Speaker 1>alone again for a long period and you have to

0:28:53.440 --> 0:28:56.080
<v Speaker 1>start to put out performances again, Like how you switch

0:28:56.160 --> 0:28:58.120
<v Speaker 1>over is so tough.

0:28:58.520 --> 0:29:02.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so how you cope in the recovery of that moment?

0:29:02.920 --> 0:29:04.240
<v Speaker 2>How long did it stay with you for?

0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:08.680
<v Speaker 1>I've faked it for a solid year, at least a

0:29:08.800 --> 0:29:12.040
<v Speaker 1>solid solid year of just trying to pretend that I

0:29:12.080 --> 0:29:18.400
<v Speaker 1>had shit together, but like I didn't, and even now,

0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:23.480
<v Speaker 1>like I'm upset because it's just hard. You know, it

0:29:23.480 --> 0:29:25.440
<v Speaker 1>would have been nice to win a work up. I'm not.

0:29:25.520 --> 0:29:27.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm never gonna be able to win one as a

0:29:27.040 --> 0:29:30.120
<v Speaker 1>player anymore. That opportunity's coming gone. Although I feel fine,

0:29:30.200 --> 0:29:32.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm standing there kicking, my arms are good, you know,

0:29:32.320 --> 0:29:34.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, get me back in there. Let's go for it.

0:29:35.320 --> 0:29:38.400
<v Speaker 1>But that opportunity is coming gone, so that's upsetting, you know.

0:29:38.560 --> 0:29:40.360
<v Speaker 1>It's like looking back in your life and going there

0:29:40.360 --> 0:29:43.440
<v Speaker 1>was a window there where, but they don't come often,

0:29:43.680 --> 0:29:45.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, missed it.

0:29:45.520 --> 0:29:48.480
<v Speaker 2>It's a lot to carry, it is it is.

0:29:48.680 --> 0:29:51.800
<v Speaker 1>But that's sport, you know. That's the that's the bargain

0:29:51.840 --> 0:29:53.720
<v Speaker 1>you make with yourself. You know, it's almost like making

0:29:53.800 --> 0:29:55.880
<v Speaker 1>a deal with the devil in a sense, like you know,

0:29:56.120 --> 0:29:58.640
<v Speaker 1>like you sell your soul to the game as well.

0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:00.959
<v Speaker 1>It's not just a skill thing. You really do, you know,

0:30:01.040 --> 0:30:03.120
<v Speaker 1>and you put a lot on the line, and not

0:30:03.160 --> 0:30:05.640
<v Speaker 1>just for yourself but everybody that's around you, like family

0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:08.280
<v Speaker 1>who don't get to see you, and your partners and

0:30:08.320 --> 0:30:11.000
<v Speaker 1>your kids and dogs. And I get home, my dogs

0:30:11.040 --> 0:30:12.920
<v Speaker 1>don't recognize me. They like hide away from me for

0:30:12.960 --> 0:30:15.400
<v Speaker 1>the first few days because they're like this guy he

0:30:15.480 --> 0:30:17.400
<v Speaker 1>comes and gives us love, and then he leaves one month,

0:30:17.480 --> 0:30:20.560
<v Speaker 1>and then we're supposed to love you like what you know,

0:30:20.640 --> 0:30:23.080
<v Speaker 1>And that's the kind of that's how you sell yourself

0:30:23.120 --> 0:30:25.000
<v Speaker 1>to the game a little bit. You you really you

0:30:25.040 --> 0:30:27.720
<v Speaker 1>go all in, you know, and there's a lot of

0:30:27.720 --> 0:30:30.640
<v Speaker 1>other things that kind of like have to bear the

0:30:30.640 --> 0:30:32.239
<v Speaker 1>brunt of that as well as yourself, you know.

0:30:32.880 --> 0:30:35.840
<v Speaker 2>So in that moment, that's everything that you're thinking of,

0:30:35.960 --> 0:30:38.600
<v Speaker 2>everything I've given up, everything I've sacrificed, all the people

0:30:38.640 --> 0:30:41.680
<v Speaker 2>that have sacrificed, and I didn't deliver. In that moment,

0:30:41.800 --> 0:30:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Is that what's going through your head?

0:30:43.480 --> 0:30:45.760
<v Speaker 1>And of all comes flooding in, doesn't it? You know?

0:30:46.160 --> 0:30:48.840
<v Speaker 1>And for everybody else it doesn't. They don't mind, you know,

0:30:48.880 --> 0:30:52.040
<v Speaker 1>They're like, it's okay, don't worry, but it is. You know.

0:30:52.120 --> 0:30:54.600
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I dragged you guys through this. You know,

0:30:54.720 --> 0:30:58.040
<v Speaker 1>I'll let you. I don't see you for two three years,

0:30:58.080 --> 0:31:01.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, like come to the wedding, come to the funeral,

0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:05.200
<v Speaker 1>No cons I'm going to I'm going to fucking this place.

0:31:05.240 --> 0:31:06.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, I've got to go and play. I'm prepping.

0:31:06.680 --> 0:31:08.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm getting ready for a World Cup. You miss so

0:31:09.120 --> 0:31:11.440
<v Speaker 1>much and then when you don't get what you are

0:31:11.480 --> 0:31:14.880
<v Speaker 1>going for, you feel like a dick, you know, like

0:31:15.040 --> 0:31:18.400
<v Speaker 1>how did I wasn't there more important things? Then? Why

0:31:18.400 --> 0:31:20.320
<v Speaker 1>do I have to live with this feeling now? You know,

0:31:20.400 --> 0:31:24.120
<v Speaker 1>of disappointment, you know, But that's that's that's sports, you know,

0:31:24.320 --> 0:31:25.920
<v Speaker 1>that's life actually.

0:31:26.240 --> 0:31:28.720
<v Speaker 2>So when you say it took a year that you

0:31:28.760 --> 0:31:31.560
<v Speaker 2>faked it, how much did it impact you and how

0:31:31.600 --> 0:31:32.400
<v Speaker 2>did it impact you?

0:31:33.720 --> 0:31:36.280
<v Speaker 1>I think it impacted me a lot on the on

0:31:36.320 --> 0:31:39.400
<v Speaker 1>what people perceived to It had like a knock on

0:31:39.400 --> 0:31:41.600
<v Speaker 1>effect into the way that other people looked at the

0:31:41.600 --> 0:31:43.240
<v Speaker 1>way that I went about my business. And I think

0:31:43.240 --> 0:31:46.320
<v Speaker 1>for a year, like I was then not included in

0:31:46.360 --> 0:31:48.760
<v Speaker 1>one or two teams, or I was picked up by teams,

0:31:48.760 --> 0:31:52.360
<v Speaker 1>but like you know, he's not our first choice anymore.

0:31:52.440 --> 0:31:54.720
<v Speaker 1>He's just had a bad woke cup didn't have a

0:31:54.720 --> 0:31:56.520
<v Speaker 1>bad walk up about one ball went out of the ground.

0:31:56.560 --> 0:31:59.200
<v Speaker 1>But anyway, that was the year that I felt, especially

0:31:59.200 --> 0:32:01.560
<v Speaker 1>in my mind, like that's how sort going, you know,

0:32:01.720 --> 0:32:03.880
<v Speaker 1>everything I was like shit there against me now, you know.

0:32:04.640 --> 0:32:06.280
<v Speaker 1>And that was also really tough.

0:32:06.640 --> 0:32:09.240
<v Speaker 2>So whether it's real or not, that's real in your head.

0:32:09.360 --> 0:32:11.200
<v Speaker 1>It's really in your head. Yeah, it's one hundred percent

0:32:11.240 --> 0:32:13.560
<v Speaker 1>really in your head. Most coaches would say, no, I'm

0:32:13.560 --> 0:32:16.680
<v Speaker 1>not even thinking that, and I'm like, I swear you're

0:32:16.680 --> 0:32:18.800
<v Speaker 1>thinking that. You start to see these demons and ghosts

0:32:18.840 --> 0:32:19.880
<v Speaker 1>that really don't exist.

0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:22.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, did you talk about it or did you

0:32:22.160 --> 0:32:24.520
<v Speaker 2>hold onto it and keep it private how much you

0:32:24.560 --> 0:32:25.400
<v Speaker 2>were struggling with it.

0:32:25.880 --> 0:32:27.760
<v Speaker 1>I think I hold on to it for a long time,

0:32:28.280 --> 0:32:34.240
<v Speaker 1>and that's tough. I think it still just sticks with

0:32:34.320 --> 0:32:36.120
<v Speaker 1>you. You know, you can't get rid of it. It's happened,

0:32:36.160 --> 0:32:40.040
<v Speaker 1>It's real, it happened. You can work on yourself and

0:32:40.480 --> 0:32:42.200
<v Speaker 1>get rid of those little demons that you see that

0:32:42.240 --> 0:32:44.280
<v Speaker 1>you think other people are thinking and stuff like that.

0:32:44.360 --> 0:32:45.960
<v Speaker 1>You can clear that stuff, but the reality of the

0:32:46.000 --> 0:32:48.280
<v Speaker 1>situation is that it happened and it's there, so that

0:32:48.360 --> 0:32:50.880
<v Speaker 1>I can never get rid of. You can just become

0:32:52.680 --> 0:32:56.680
<v Speaker 1>like you can accept it that it happened and you

0:32:56.720 --> 0:32:59.320
<v Speaker 1>can now move on. And that's the beauty of sport

0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:02.239
<v Speaker 1>is because is what's beautiful about sports that you get

0:33:02.280 --> 0:33:05.880
<v Speaker 1>another opportunity. So come twenty nineteen, we had another opportunity. Bang,

0:33:06.160 --> 0:33:09.719
<v Speaker 1>it's time to go again. But this time around, I

0:33:09.760 --> 0:33:11.680
<v Speaker 1>went in with a little bit of a sore shoulder,

0:33:11.800 --> 0:33:14.640
<v Speaker 1>and unfortunately I had to come home. That replaced me.

0:33:14.680 --> 0:33:16.600
<v Speaker 1>I had to go home. So I think that like

0:33:16.680 --> 0:33:19.360
<v Speaker 1>the year building up to the twenty nineteen World Cup,

0:33:19.640 --> 0:33:22.120
<v Speaker 1>I found o my job was I had two kinds

0:33:22.120 --> 0:33:25.200
<v Speaker 1>of jobs. One was on the field to execute a

0:33:25.320 --> 0:33:28.000
<v Speaker 1>skill and win games. Of the ball in my hand.

0:33:28.280 --> 0:33:31.920
<v Speaker 1>And secondly was the experience of what I've experienced not

0:33:32.040 --> 0:33:37.000
<v Speaker 1>just through cricket, but also winning and losing and trying

0:33:37.000 --> 0:33:39.560
<v Speaker 1>to prep guys it would be amazing to win. I

0:33:39.560 --> 0:33:41.840
<v Speaker 1>haven't won one. I've seen other teams win and it

0:33:41.920 --> 0:33:46.160
<v Speaker 1>looks fucking great, I promise you, but I've lost a

0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:49.160
<v Speaker 1>lot and I want to tell you that that's not nice.

0:33:49.480 --> 0:33:52.560
<v Speaker 1>So if you don't win, this is the things that

0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:55.040
<v Speaker 1>you need to be aware of. And I felt like

0:33:55.080 --> 0:33:57.040
<v Speaker 1>that was kind of my role. Wins the World Cup

0:33:57.040 --> 0:33:59.280
<v Speaker 1>and I left and I haven't really played for South

0:33:59.280 --> 0:34:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Africa since. So my only hope is that there's not

0:34:01.640 --> 0:34:03.280
<v Speaker 1>a lot of guys that are in that setup right

0:34:03.280 --> 0:34:06.040
<v Speaker 1>now that were feeling what I felt and went through

0:34:06.040 --> 0:34:08.160
<v Speaker 1>what I felt for a long time, because it can

0:34:08.280 --> 0:34:10.959
<v Speaker 1>impact you for pretty much. It was a young team

0:34:11.000 --> 0:34:12.440
<v Speaker 1>for the rest of their careers, and you don't want

0:34:12.520 --> 0:34:14.279
<v Speaker 1>you don't want that. You know, you want these guys

0:34:14.280 --> 0:34:16.000
<v Speaker 1>to you want them to win walk Cups, not to

0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:18.600
<v Speaker 1>sit three or four years later with the same fucking

0:34:18.640 --> 0:34:19.160
<v Speaker 1>feeling you.

0:34:19.200 --> 0:34:30.120
<v Speaker 2>Know you're listening to. Ordinarily, speaking with Dale Stain, you

0:34:30.239 --> 0:34:33.840
<v Speaker 2>said that you finally sat down to watch that twenty

0:34:33.920 --> 0:34:39.480
<v Speaker 2>fifteen over last year, was it? Yeah, tell me about that.

0:34:39.920 --> 0:34:44.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, that was terrible because we were in lockdown. I

0:34:44.560 --> 0:34:47.919
<v Speaker 1>think everyone was depressed at that point and probably put

0:34:47.920 --> 0:34:50.560
<v Speaker 1>on about ten kilos more from eating all the shit

0:34:50.680 --> 0:34:53.120
<v Speaker 1>that like is just around the house because there's nothing

0:34:53.200 --> 0:34:56.319
<v Speaker 1>to do. So one, I'm feeling terrible. I actually went

0:34:56.360 --> 0:34:58.160
<v Speaker 1>the other way, to be honest with you, Like a

0:34:58.239 --> 0:35:00.520
<v Speaker 1>lot of people like sat at home and they I

0:35:00.560 --> 0:35:02.080
<v Speaker 1>went the other way. I didn't eat a lot and

0:35:02.080 --> 0:35:04.960
<v Speaker 1>I actually lost a lot of weights. I weighed the

0:35:05.040 --> 0:35:07.279
<v Speaker 1>lowest I think I've ever weighed in my life since

0:35:07.320 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 1>finishing school. I dropped down to like seventy four seventy

0:35:10.640 --> 0:35:13.279
<v Speaker 1>five killers and I'm roughly around eighty eighty one eighty two.

0:35:13.680 --> 0:35:16.520
<v Speaker 1>So I lost quite some some weights. And that's what, like,

0:35:16.719 --> 0:35:18.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying I was depressed, but like that's the

0:35:18.680 --> 0:35:21.840
<v Speaker 1>signs of what depression can do, is weight loss, you know,

0:35:21.920 --> 0:35:23.200
<v Speaker 1>all that kind of stuff.

0:35:24.160 --> 0:35:26.080
<v Speaker 2>Because you were weighing up your future and things like

0:35:26.120 --> 0:35:26.640
<v Speaker 2>that at the time.

0:35:27.080 --> 0:35:29.120
<v Speaker 1>I was looking at it all and like I'm like,

0:35:29.200 --> 0:35:31.680
<v Speaker 1>this is a year out of what I want to do,

0:35:31.920 --> 0:35:34.279
<v Speaker 1>and it's just you know, it was tough and it's like,

0:35:34.400 --> 0:35:37.719
<v Speaker 1>as a fast bowler, you don't. I'm thirty seven, thirty eight.

0:35:37.800 --> 0:35:40.120
<v Speaker 1>Now it's going to be difficult to kind of pick

0:35:40.200 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 1>up from this, you know, not only nor Kio who's

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:47.040
<v Speaker 1>twenty five, fully fit and absolute machine. You know, I

0:35:47.080 --> 0:35:51.759
<v Speaker 1>know I need a little bit longer. So anyway, we

0:35:51.760 --> 0:35:54.000
<v Speaker 1>were sitting in a situation where no one was happy.

0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:56.239
<v Speaker 1>I don't think the world is happy. And then to

0:35:56.400 --> 0:36:00.160
<v Speaker 1>rub salt into the wound, South African Sport tav the

0:36:00.360 --> 0:36:04.600
<v Speaker 1>supersport starts to play like the disappointments of World Cups,

0:36:04.640 --> 0:36:07.400
<v Speaker 1>like fantastic, Thanks guys. I almost wanted to jump on

0:36:07.400 --> 0:36:09.560
<v Speaker 1>the phone to Alan Donald and all other fast bowlers

0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:11.719
<v Speaker 1>and other South Africans and Joina WhatsApp group and like

0:36:13.320 --> 0:36:15.839
<v Speaker 1>send them ice cream, Ben and Jerry's ice cream and

0:36:16.000 --> 0:36:19.000
<v Speaker 1>ship because it's like to see what they're doing to us, guys,

0:36:19.080 --> 0:36:25.000
<v Speaker 1>look at this, What the hell? But it was terrible.

0:36:25.560 --> 0:36:29.240
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I watched the game. It wasn't a highlights

0:36:29.239 --> 0:36:30.720
<v Speaker 1>it was the whole game. So it was on TV

0:36:31.320 --> 0:36:33.880
<v Speaker 1>for the duration of the day, and I didn't watch the

0:36:33.880 --> 0:36:35.840
<v Speaker 1>whole game, and I focused in on like the last

0:36:35.960 --> 0:36:38.319
<v Speaker 1>three hours. So when I went and sat down. I

0:36:38.360 --> 0:36:40.439
<v Speaker 1>was watching it, and like anybody else, it's the first

0:36:40.480 --> 0:36:43.560
<v Speaker 1>time I'm watching it in like four years. So I

0:36:43.719 --> 0:36:45.680
<v Speaker 1>was sitting on the edge of my seat because it

0:36:45.719 --> 0:36:49.279
<v Speaker 1>was it was an exhilarating and exciting game, you know,

0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:51.520
<v Speaker 1>and then when you come on, I know the outcome,

0:36:51.920 --> 0:36:55.200
<v Speaker 1>but I'm still kind of fucking hoping that something's something

0:36:55.239 --> 0:36:58.759
<v Speaker 1>different is gonna happen, you know. And I watched the

0:36:58.800 --> 0:37:01.560
<v Speaker 1>six Balls and I just walked outside and that's absolutely

0:37:01.560 --> 0:37:04.960
<v Speaker 1>burst into tears, and it was it was just sad,

0:37:05.040 --> 0:37:06.600
<v Speaker 1>you know. It was a sad time, and there was

0:37:06.640 --> 0:37:08.879
<v Speaker 1>a sad that was a sad moment and my best

0:37:09.000 --> 0:37:10.520
<v Speaker 1>I was lucky that one of my best friends was

0:37:10.520 --> 0:37:14.080
<v Speaker 1>actually staying with us. My missus was reading or something

0:37:14.120 --> 0:37:15.799
<v Speaker 1>like that, and he just came outside and gave me

0:37:15.800 --> 0:37:17.759
<v Speaker 1>a big hug. And he's a bigger softie than I am.

0:37:17.880 --> 0:37:19.520
<v Speaker 1>So he started crying and I was like, can you

0:37:19.520 --> 0:37:21.400
<v Speaker 1>please stop fucking crying because now it's gonna make it

0:37:21.400 --> 0:37:23.520
<v Speaker 1>worse for me, and he's like, it's okay, it's okay.

0:37:23.520 --> 0:37:26.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, just let's you know, let's move on. But yeah,

0:37:26.920 --> 0:37:28.439
<v Speaker 1>it was the first time that I watched the six

0:37:28.520 --> 0:37:32.320
<v Speaker 1>balls that I bowled since, yeah, it had happened. It

0:37:32.360 --> 0:37:33.479
<v Speaker 1>was almost five years later.

0:37:34.320 --> 0:37:36.200
<v Speaker 2>What were the tears about do you think?

0:37:37.040 --> 0:37:38.880
<v Speaker 1>I think just everything. You know. At the time, it

0:37:38.920 --> 0:37:41.359
<v Speaker 1>was really difficult for the world. You know, we're all

0:37:41.400 --> 0:37:46.560
<v Speaker 1>in this lockdown and didn't know where we were going. Yeah,

0:37:46.600 --> 0:37:48.000
<v Speaker 1>it was just it was just tough, you know. And

0:37:48.040 --> 0:37:50.520
<v Speaker 1>then it just brought that that feeling back again. You know,

0:37:50.920 --> 0:37:52.880
<v Speaker 1>this is a sad, sad, sad time. It wasn't a

0:37:52.880 --> 0:37:54.799
<v Speaker 1>great time to watch that. I think if I had

0:37:54.840 --> 0:37:57.239
<v Speaker 1>been happy somewhere, I would have been like, you know,

0:37:58.120 --> 0:38:00.719
<v Speaker 1>that shit happens. It's okay, it's not problem. But I

0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:03.359
<v Speaker 1>think the moment was not a good times a pick.

0:38:05.120 --> 0:38:06.359
<v Speaker 2>Was it healing at all?

0:38:06.640 --> 0:38:09.160
<v Speaker 1>A little bit? A little bit because it happened and

0:38:10.480 --> 0:38:17.719
<v Speaker 1>I was actually seeing somebody. I was seeing a psychologist.

0:38:18.360 --> 0:38:20.160
<v Speaker 1>When you start to decide that you're going to do

0:38:20.280 --> 0:38:22.880
<v Speaker 1>things like retire, and when you're looking at the end

0:38:22.960 --> 0:38:25.200
<v Speaker 1>of you start to question, there's a lot of questions

0:38:25.200 --> 0:38:26.839
<v Speaker 1>that come in is it the right thing to do?

0:38:27.400 --> 0:38:28.800
<v Speaker 1>I got to let go of a lot of things.

0:38:29.040 --> 0:38:31.120
<v Speaker 1>So it was suggested that I just go and speak

0:38:31.160 --> 0:38:34.399
<v Speaker 1>to somebody and just get the stuff off my chest

0:38:34.520 --> 0:38:36.480
<v Speaker 1>rather than just kind of with all these thoughts in

0:38:36.520 --> 0:38:39.400
<v Speaker 1>my head. And I was lucky enough that I had

0:38:39.440 --> 0:38:41.000
<v Speaker 1>a session with him in like two or three days

0:38:41.000 --> 0:38:42.600
<v Speaker 1>after it was on Zoom and I told him and

0:38:42.640 --> 0:38:44.399
<v Speaker 1>he's like, how do you feel? And I'm like, yeah,

0:38:44.400 --> 0:38:46.440
<v Speaker 1>at the moment, I was incredibly sad, but now like

0:38:47.160 --> 0:38:50.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm okay, you know, like it's not too bad, and

0:38:50.640 --> 0:38:52.120
<v Speaker 1>it was good to just be able to talk about

0:38:52.120 --> 0:38:53.759
<v Speaker 1>it and just kind of get that out.

0:38:54.520 --> 0:38:56.160
<v Speaker 2>What other stuff were you talking about? And you don't

0:38:56.200 --> 0:38:57.440
<v Speaker 2>have to share anything you don't want to, but what

0:38:57.480 --> 0:39:00.879
<v Speaker 2>other stuff were you talking about with your psych Just I.

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:04.480
<v Speaker 1>Was coming up to retirement, there was things like contracts

0:39:04.480 --> 0:39:07.239
<v Speaker 1>that weren't happening. I worry. I grew up in a

0:39:07.239 --> 0:39:09.520
<v Speaker 1>small town and like I grew up in a family

0:39:09.560 --> 0:39:12.080
<v Speaker 1>that didn't have a lot of money, and I provide

0:39:12.080 --> 0:39:14.200
<v Speaker 1>a lot for my family. I helped them out where

0:39:14.200 --> 0:39:16.040
<v Speaker 1>I can. And now all of a sudden, you know,

0:39:16.160 --> 0:39:19.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to be earning what I am and

0:39:19.680 --> 0:39:22.040
<v Speaker 1>and I know that I've got to continue to provide

0:39:22.040 --> 0:39:25.400
<v Speaker 1>and help. So like that was a big concern for me.

0:39:25.480 --> 0:39:28.439
<v Speaker 1>I was like, how I'm gonna do this and I'm

0:39:28.520 --> 0:39:30.520
<v Speaker 1>fortunate that I've done well through my life, but I've

0:39:30.520 --> 0:39:33.600
<v Speaker 1>also like saved well. So like I start to worry,

0:39:33.640 --> 0:39:35.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you know, what am I going to do?

0:39:35.440 --> 0:39:37.400
<v Speaker 1>And I'll panic a little bit. And so I had

0:39:37.440 --> 0:39:39.000
<v Speaker 1>to like speak to him and say him, these are

0:39:39.000 --> 0:39:41.040
<v Speaker 1>what I'm feeling, and he's like, okay, cool, you know,

0:39:41.160 --> 0:39:44.239
<v Speaker 1>let's speak to Dave, who's my manager, and he's as well,

0:39:44.280 --> 0:39:47.520
<v Speaker 1>he's also my financial advisor, that's what he does, and like,

0:39:47.640 --> 0:39:49.759
<v Speaker 1>let's just put a lot of this these worries to bed,

0:39:49.840 --> 0:39:52.239
<v Speaker 1>you know. And so a lot of these questions are

0:39:52.280 --> 0:39:55.760
<v Speaker 1>actually that worries that had in my mind were actually

0:39:55.760 --> 0:39:58.279
<v Speaker 1>not worries at all. In other people's opinions, they were

0:39:58.280 --> 0:40:00.200
<v Speaker 1>like we can, we can sort them up. But for me,

0:40:00.239 --> 0:40:04.160
<v Speaker 1>they were just, you know, they were causing massive headaches

0:40:04.160 --> 0:40:06.560
<v Speaker 1>and anxiety and all that kind of stuff. So it

0:40:06.600 --> 0:40:09.000
<v Speaker 1>was good to speak to him and then just understand

0:40:09.040 --> 0:40:11.400
<v Speaker 1>that it's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. He

0:40:11.520 --> 0:40:12.920
<v Speaker 1>was kind of doing the same thing that I was

0:40:12.920 --> 0:40:14.840
<v Speaker 1>doing when I was in twenty fifteen, going to everybody

0:40:14.880 --> 0:40:17.360
<v Speaker 1>and tapping them on the shoulder saying it's gonna be okay.

0:40:17.560 --> 0:40:21.000
<v Speaker 1>So I actually asked my psychiatrists, psychologist, psychiatrist, to somebody

0:40:21.000 --> 0:40:23.880
<v Speaker 1>that can give you medication. He conned. I was like,

0:40:24.080 --> 0:40:26.000
<v Speaker 1>do you speak to somebody because you're going to have

0:40:26.040 --> 0:40:29.000
<v Speaker 1>to deal with my shit. He's like, I do. I'm okay,

0:40:29.040 --> 0:40:31.480
<v Speaker 1>don't worry about me. I'm like, because I'm worried about you.

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:35.600
<v Speaker 1>We have this conversation. He's like, stop, this is about you.

0:40:37.160 --> 0:40:40.279
<v Speaker 2>That once again speaks volumes to you that you're in

0:40:40.320 --> 0:40:44.200
<v Speaker 2>a sack session and you're worried about what the ski

0:40:44.320 --> 0:40:45.479
<v Speaker 2>is going to do with your shit.

0:40:45.640 --> 0:40:47.160
<v Speaker 1>He's a nice guy. I just want to make sure

0:40:47.160 --> 0:40:50.719
<v Speaker 1>that he's okay. You know, everybody needs to have their

0:40:50.719 --> 0:40:51.399
<v Speaker 1>shit in order.

0:40:52.560 --> 0:40:56.839
<v Speaker 2>I love that, but it speaks to the pressure that

0:40:56.880 --> 0:41:01.000
<v Speaker 2>you've clearly felt as a kid growing up and then

0:41:01.040 --> 0:41:04.440
<v Speaker 2>as an elite athlete. You've carried You seem to have

0:41:04.480 --> 0:41:06.880
<v Speaker 2>carried a lot on your shoulders, whether it was because

0:41:06.920 --> 0:41:09.120
<v Speaker 2>other people put it on you, or whether that's just

0:41:09.200 --> 0:41:12.360
<v Speaker 2>your personality type that you go jump on my back.

0:41:12.760 --> 0:41:13.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll take you there.

0:41:14.440 --> 0:41:16.400
<v Speaker 1>I think for a long time I was also sheltered

0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 1>from a lot of stuff. I must be honest with you,

0:41:19.120 --> 0:41:22.480
<v Speaker 1>like you know, there was a lot of things that

0:41:22.520 --> 0:41:27.040
<v Speaker 1>I was like kept away from even my family, like

0:41:27.200 --> 0:41:30.480
<v Speaker 1>you know certain like I don't know whether somebody had

0:41:30.520 --> 0:41:33.440
<v Speaker 1>passed away, or you know, my dog growing up had

0:41:33.520 --> 0:41:36.200
<v Speaker 1>died or whatever it is, and I would be playing

0:41:36.200 --> 0:41:38.760
<v Speaker 1>a test match or you know something, Well, my parents

0:41:38.760 --> 0:41:41.160
<v Speaker 1>got divorced. My parents got divorced. That's not an issue.

0:41:41.920 --> 0:41:44.240
<v Speaker 1>They're fully grown up. They're welcome and they're very happy

0:41:44.280 --> 0:41:46.960
<v Speaker 1>right now. My dad remarried my mom. They stoked, but

0:41:47.440 --> 0:41:49.520
<v Speaker 1>like they didn't like my family would shelter me from

0:41:49.520 --> 0:41:50.960
<v Speaker 1>a lot of this stuff and didn't tell me these

0:41:51.040 --> 0:41:53.239
<v Speaker 1>kinds of things, so that because you were playing, because

0:41:53.239 --> 0:41:55.120
<v Speaker 1>I was playing, they didn't want to, you know, have

0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:57.080
<v Speaker 1>me worry about this kind of stuff. And when I

0:41:57.120 --> 0:41:59.960
<v Speaker 1>was playing for South Africa, this goes even into South Africa.

0:42:00.160 --> 0:42:02.560
<v Speaker 1>We had somebody like Graham Smith who would shelter the

0:42:02.560 --> 0:42:05.200
<v Speaker 1>players from what's happening with the board like CSA like

0:42:05.520 --> 0:42:07.840
<v Speaker 1>we can pressure to do this. We've got you know,

0:42:08.040 --> 0:42:10.000
<v Speaker 1>quota system wants to go up and all of this

0:42:10.120 --> 0:42:12.480
<v Speaker 1>kind of stuff, and he would keep a lit on

0:42:12.560 --> 0:42:14.319
<v Speaker 1>a lot of that kind of stuff, which is don't

0:42:14.320 --> 0:42:16.560
<v Speaker 1>get me wrong, I mean it's very important that you know,

0:42:16.640 --> 0:42:18.840
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of inclusion from South Africa's passing it.

0:42:18.880 --> 0:42:21.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm not against it. I'm just saying that Graham was

0:42:21.120 --> 0:42:24.040
<v Speaker 1>there sheltering us, and for a long period of time,

0:42:24.080 --> 0:42:26.719
<v Speaker 1>I just got to do what I love doing. And

0:42:26.760 --> 0:42:29.799
<v Speaker 1>then when I got to about twenty fifteen, maybe even

0:42:29.840 --> 0:42:33.239
<v Speaker 1>twenty fourteen, I became twenty thirteen, I became more a

0:42:33.280 --> 0:42:35.920
<v Speaker 1>senior player in the side and now has become more

0:42:35.960 --> 0:42:39.160
<v Speaker 1>and more aware of some of this other stuff. Eyes

0:42:39.200 --> 0:42:41.680
<v Speaker 1>wide open, eyes an arson to open up a little bit,

0:42:43.200 --> 0:42:45.600
<v Speaker 1>secrets from back home that are were kept from me

0:42:45.719 --> 0:42:47.839
<v Speaker 1>to make sure that I do well on the cricket field.

0:42:47.960 --> 0:42:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I was starting to come out and bubble out and

0:42:50.560 --> 0:42:52.600
<v Speaker 1>all of this, and all of a sudden, you realize

0:42:52.600 --> 0:42:54.520
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot more crap going on that you than

0:42:54.520 --> 0:42:56.520
<v Speaker 1>you thought. This road is not as smooth as it

0:42:57.120 --> 0:42:59.560
<v Speaker 1>as it was made out to be. The sweeping is

0:42:59.640 --> 0:43:02.080
<v Speaker 1>now staring. There's a lot of speed bumps and and

0:43:02.080 --> 0:43:05.200
<v Speaker 1>that kind of stuff. And I think then once I

0:43:05.239 --> 0:43:06.799
<v Speaker 1>started to become aware of all of this stuff, that's

0:43:06.840 --> 0:43:09.040
<v Speaker 1>when a lot of this, like I'm not going to

0:43:09.080 --> 0:43:11.000
<v Speaker 1>say I'm depressed, but a lot of this anxiety and

0:43:11.000 --> 0:43:13.120
<v Speaker 1>all that kind of stuff sot to kick in, and

0:43:13.200 --> 0:43:19.040
<v Speaker 1>worrying for family and worrying about teammates and their well

0:43:19.080 --> 0:43:21.600
<v Speaker 1>being and other people's well being really kicked into overdrive.

0:43:22.120 --> 0:43:23.439
<v Speaker 1>But for a long time, I just had to worry

0:43:23.440 --> 0:43:25.640
<v Speaker 1>about myself. I was sheltered a lot of the time.

0:43:26.239 --> 0:43:29.640
<v Speaker 2>So it's a fine line between caring about others and

0:43:30.360 --> 0:43:33.720
<v Speaker 2>feeling anxious about others, and you were stepping over that line.

0:43:33.840 --> 0:43:37.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, But now I'm just in full camode like

0:43:37.280 --> 0:43:37.800
<v Speaker 1>that's all.

0:43:37.640 --> 0:43:44.840
<v Speaker 2>I do, full camera.

0:43:45.560 --> 0:43:48.960
<v Speaker 1>I think my family called me ICU, like, can we

0:43:49.000 --> 0:43:52.480
<v Speaker 1>step into the ICU ord? You just you're gonna look

0:43:52.520 --> 0:43:57.200
<v Speaker 1>after you. Oh, you're gonna look after us.

0:43:58.800 --> 0:44:05.319
<v Speaker 2>That is brilliant because that is so you. You really are.

0:44:05.480 --> 0:44:08.799
<v Speaker 2>Like you take drinks to security guards and you genuinely

0:44:09.120 --> 0:44:13.720
<v Speaker 2>they were thirsty. You genuinely. This is the thing about

0:44:13.719 --> 0:44:16.040
<v Speaker 2>you that I've realized is there's lots of people who

0:44:16.120 --> 0:44:21.440
<v Speaker 2>are nice, right, but you genuinely care about how people

0:44:21.560 --> 0:44:25.400
<v Speaker 2>are you do. I've seen it, not just with me,

0:44:25.520 --> 0:44:27.880
<v Speaker 2>but lots of people that you've come across while working

0:44:27.920 --> 0:44:31.200
<v Speaker 2>with you. You don't just ask how they're doing, to ask

0:44:31.200 --> 0:44:34.360
<v Speaker 2>the question and be polite, You genuinely care about the response,

0:44:34.480 --> 0:44:37.480
<v Speaker 2>and if the response is not a nice one, you

0:44:37.560 --> 0:44:40.239
<v Speaker 2>try to do something to change that.

0:44:40.239 --> 0:44:42.960
<v Speaker 1>That's yeah, And I think that's one of the problems

0:44:42.960 --> 0:44:45.040
<v Speaker 1>that I've got in my life is because I'm not

0:44:45.120 --> 0:44:46.840
<v Speaker 1>saying I get involved, but I do take it on,

0:44:47.080 --> 0:44:51.040
<v Speaker 1>you know now especially, and then that's it eats up

0:44:51.040 --> 0:44:52.560
<v Speaker 1>a little bit of me a little bit, you know,

0:44:53.360 --> 0:44:55.920
<v Speaker 1>I do care, but like it means that my worrying

0:44:55.960 --> 0:44:57.919
<v Speaker 1>and my anxiety goes up just a little bit every

0:44:57.920 --> 0:45:01.160
<v Speaker 1>single time. But I'm fine, I don't mind, Like I'm

0:45:01.520 --> 0:45:02.120
<v Speaker 1>all for it.

0:45:02.160 --> 0:45:03.839
<v Speaker 2>Does your anxiety worry you a little bit?

0:45:04.480 --> 0:45:09.400
<v Speaker 1>Uh? It does. And I'm no hippie or anything like that,

0:45:09.480 --> 0:45:11.520
<v Speaker 1>so I'm not against like if someone had to say

0:45:11.560 --> 0:45:14.120
<v Speaker 1>he has some medication or something like that, but I'm

0:45:14.200 --> 0:45:16.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm I don't take anything. I'm pretty much high on

0:45:16.640 --> 0:45:18.640
<v Speaker 1>life really, and.

0:45:18.920 --> 0:45:21.200
<v Speaker 2>The amount of caffeine you drink me the Coca Cola.

0:45:21.040 --> 0:45:23.239
<v Speaker 1>Sitting next, I drink a lot of Coca cola. Just

0:45:23.239 --> 0:45:25.799
<v Speaker 1>to debunk what anybody's heard. I do drink about two

0:45:25.880 --> 0:45:27.000
<v Speaker 1>liters as of coke a day.

0:45:27.960 --> 0:45:28.680
<v Speaker 2>I've seen it.

0:45:28.800 --> 0:45:32.640
<v Speaker 1>And now Lisa, who's the manager, has introduced me to

0:45:33.440 --> 0:45:38.360
<v Speaker 1>a single espresso on top of a cappuccino in the morning,

0:45:38.520 --> 0:45:40.920
<v Speaker 1>and I am bouncing off walls.

0:45:41.080 --> 0:45:44.480
<v Speaker 2>It's bad, just quietly for anyone who's listening who suffers

0:45:44.480 --> 0:45:48.080
<v Speaker 2>from anxiety. That is not a good medical advice from Towns.

0:45:48.680 --> 0:45:52.080
<v Speaker 1>Not a good idea at all. Promise you talk, Foster,

0:45:52.600 --> 0:45:55.359
<v Speaker 1>is you think faster than you You need to slow

0:45:55.400 --> 0:45:58.160
<v Speaker 1>down And I'm not slowing down.

0:45:58.480 --> 0:46:01.920
<v Speaker 2>The injuries, the shoulder injury was the worst one you

0:46:01.960 --> 0:46:04.680
<v Speaker 2>went through, right, how much physical pain were you in?

0:46:04.960 --> 0:46:07.120
<v Speaker 1>That was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.

0:46:07.160 --> 0:46:09.080
<v Speaker 1>Like physical pain is the worst thing I've ever felt

0:46:09.080 --> 0:46:12.560
<v Speaker 1>in my life. It happened broke the It's called the

0:46:12.640 --> 0:46:14.879
<v Speaker 1>corocoid process. It sits in the front over here. It's

0:46:14.880 --> 0:46:19.040
<v Speaker 1>like a little bone and your peck kind of hangs

0:46:19.040 --> 0:46:21.960
<v Speaker 1>off of It's almost like a hangar for that muscle,

0:46:22.239 --> 0:46:26.000
<v Speaker 1>and the shoulder bone kind of popped out and hit

0:46:26.040 --> 0:46:28.520
<v Speaker 1>it and broke it clean in half. And that was

0:46:28.600 --> 0:46:31.319
<v Speaker 1>That was a delivery that I bowled to. I think

0:46:31.360 --> 0:46:34.520
<v Speaker 1>Wada was batting in Perth and as it happened, I

0:46:34.560 --> 0:46:39.600
<v Speaker 1>heard this this crack, and I thought maybe the infraspinatus,

0:46:39.640 --> 0:46:41.879
<v Speaker 1>which is the muscle that sits behind your shoulder kind

0:46:41.920 --> 0:46:44.920
<v Speaker 1>of helps is infraspinasus And I got to remember the

0:46:44.960 --> 0:46:46.960
<v Speaker 1>other one kind of helps the shoulder move. I thought

0:46:47.000 --> 0:46:49.399
<v Speaker 1>that had just snapped. And I was like, cool, that's

0:46:49.400 --> 0:46:51.680
<v Speaker 1>six to eight weeks. That's fine. They'll you know, I'll

0:46:51.719 --> 0:46:54.200
<v Speaker 1>go and probably have surgery and they'll reattach that and

0:46:54.480 --> 0:46:56.919
<v Speaker 1>it's a muscle, it will be fine. But then, yeah,

0:46:56.960 --> 0:46:59.440
<v Speaker 1>when you got to the hospital and they did the

0:46:59.560 --> 0:47:02.120
<v Speaker 1>mrin and they're like, oh, you know, the coracoid's clean

0:47:02.160 --> 0:47:04.600
<v Speaker 1>in half. And the doctors said to me, did you

0:47:04.640 --> 0:47:07.360
<v Speaker 1>fall off a ladder or did you have motorbike accidents?

0:47:07.360 --> 0:47:10.760
<v Speaker 1>How did this happen? I said, I was bowling cricket.

0:47:11.080 --> 0:47:14.399
<v Speaker 1>He's couldn't believe it, but yeah, pain is the worst

0:47:14.400 --> 0:47:16.040
<v Speaker 1>pain I've ever felt. I walked off the field and

0:47:16.160 --> 0:47:19.359
<v Speaker 1>walked straight into the dressing room. The fizzio said, jump

0:47:19.400 --> 0:47:20.920
<v Speaker 1>on the jump of the fizzy bed. That's have a look,

0:47:20.960 --> 0:47:22.920
<v Speaker 1>and I just bent down on my knees. That the

0:47:22.920 --> 0:47:25.359
<v Speaker 1>fizzier bed was round about like head high at that point,

0:47:25.400 --> 0:47:27.840
<v Speaker 1>and I bent down and again, like this time, I

0:47:27.840 --> 0:47:30.520
<v Speaker 1>was crying because it was so sore, like put tears

0:47:30.520 --> 0:47:34.640
<v Speaker 1>in my eyes, like it was that sore. Pain was

0:47:34.640 --> 0:47:37.360
<v Speaker 1>just shooting through the back and like down the front,

0:47:37.719 --> 0:47:39.480
<v Speaker 1>and probably a little bit of a little bit of

0:47:39.480 --> 0:47:41.920
<v Speaker 1>tears because it was also that was that that was

0:47:41.920 --> 0:47:44.120
<v Speaker 1>that Now, you know, I knew something was really bad,

0:47:44.760 --> 0:47:46.640
<v Speaker 1>but that was pain. That was really sore.

0:47:47.719 --> 0:47:51.200
<v Speaker 2>How much did you play with the pain once you

0:47:51.360 --> 0:47:52.560
<v Speaker 2>started to come back from that?

0:47:53.160 --> 0:47:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Once I came back from that, then it was every

0:47:56.080 --> 0:47:58.839
<v Speaker 1>day like it never got the same for the rest

0:47:58.840 --> 0:48:00.799
<v Speaker 1>of your career, For the rest of my career, Yeah,

0:48:00.880 --> 0:48:03.960
<v Speaker 1>it was never the same. Wo afterwards, I could still bowl,

0:48:04.000 --> 0:48:06.680
<v Speaker 1>like wasn't an issue. Bowling wasn't an issue, but pain

0:48:06.760 --> 0:48:09.680
<v Speaker 1>was there, Like neurally, pain was there. It wasn't going anywhere.

0:48:10.120 --> 0:48:13.400
<v Speaker 1>That came from my neck into my shoulder, down my

0:48:13.400 --> 0:48:17.560
<v Speaker 1>shoulder towards the elbow, but especially like in that top

0:48:17.600 --> 0:48:19.640
<v Speaker 1>that padding like you know what your collar boners, there's

0:48:19.640 --> 0:48:21.480
<v Speaker 1>a little bit of like a muscle, there's padding there,

0:48:21.719 --> 0:48:26.520
<v Speaker 1>especially there into my neck. It was just sore, like

0:48:26.520 --> 0:48:29.120
<v Speaker 1>like eight out of ten, saw like at least a

0:48:29.200 --> 0:48:31.319
<v Speaker 1>seven turn eight out of ten. So when I saw

0:48:31.360 --> 0:48:34.919
<v Speaker 1>my shoulder doctor and I said to him, I'm only

0:48:34.920 --> 0:48:37.840
<v Speaker 1>going to focus on twenty twenty cricket. Right now, I said,

0:48:38.200 --> 0:48:41.239
<v Speaker 1>you need to give me something, give me some painkillers

0:48:41.880 --> 0:48:44.160
<v Speaker 1>that is just going to take the pain away, because

0:48:44.239 --> 0:48:47.719
<v Speaker 1>I honestly can't deal with this anymore, Like I don't care.

0:48:48.520 --> 0:48:50.839
<v Speaker 1>So he was like, all right, cool. So he gave

0:48:50.880 --> 0:48:53.480
<v Speaker 1>me like a dose of stuff that I took and

0:48:53.520 --> 0:48:55.680
<v Speaker 1>that worked for a good couple months and then your

0:48:55.680 --> 0:48:58.279
<v Speaker 1>body starts to get used to it and then you

0:48:58.480 --> 0:49:01.239
<v Speaker 1>just back into that pain again. But by the end,

0:49:01.239 --> 0:49:03.080
<v Speaker 1>now I'm not gonna lie like I was fine. I

0:49:03.080 --> 0:49:05.520
<v Speaker 1>actually felt the best I felt in a long time.

0:49:05.560 --> 0:49:10.680
<v Speaker 1>It spending really quickly, and yeah, I think I just

0:49:10.719 --> 0:49:12.759
<v Speaker 1>probably knew that the writing was on the wall for me,

0:49:12.840 --> 0:49:16.080
<v Speaker 1>like not in terms of physical, just like mental. I

0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:17.799
<v Speaker 1>was like, I don't want to do this anymore, you know,

0:49:18.320 --> 0:49:20.640
<v Speaker 1>And I think when I released that, I started to

0:49:20.640 --> 0:49:22.520
<v Speaker 1>feel good again, and I was then I started question.

0:49:22.680 --> 0:49:24.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh, maybe I can do this for a

0:49:24.239 --> 0:49:26.560
<v Speaker 1>little bit longer, and then I have to look in

0:49:26.600 --> 0:49:28.480
<v Speaker 1>the mirror and go, dlle, just have a real conversation

0:49:28.520 --> 0:49:31.400
<v Speaker 1>with yourself. You don't want to do this anymore, you know,

0:49:31.920 --> 0:49:32.560
<v Speaker 1>it's crap.

0:49:33.640 --> 0:49:37.520
<v Speaker 2>Step into the ICU with yourself, start caring and have

0:49:37.600 --> 0:49:39.040
<v Speaker 2>a conversation with yourself.

0:49:39.160 --> 0:49:40.840
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people say that to me. They're like,

0:49:41.120 --> 0:49:43.000
<v Speaker 1>you should really start to take care of yourself and

0:49:43.000 --> 0:49:47.040
<v Speaker 1>think about yourself. And I'm like, okay, so I go

0:49:47.080 --> 0:49:48.040
<v Speaker 1>and buy a new surfboard.

0:49:50.600 --> 0:49:53.799
<v Speaker 2>How much did the day to day pain impact you

0:49:54.080 --> 0:49:56.280
<v Speaker 2>in your day to day life, because I mean, chronic

0:49:56.320 --> 0:49:57.600
<v Speaker 2>pain is hard to live with.

0:49:58.520 --> 0:50:00.560
<v Speaker 1>When I had the shoulder surgery, I just said to

0:50:00.600 --> 0:50:03.160
<v Speaker 1>the doctor, He's like, look, he comes and he gets

0:50:03.200 --> 0:50:07.920
<v Speaker 1>you to sign a consent form. Sorry, and because you

0:50:07.920 --> 0:50:09.560
<v Speaker 1>don't know whether it's going to be a success or not.

0:50:09.719 --> 0:50:12.080
<v Speaker 1>And I said to him, okay, cool, do you think

0:50:12.080 --> 0:50:14.440
<v Speaker 1>I'll be able to bowl again? And he said I

0:50:14.480 --> 0:50:16.960
<v Speaker 1>don't know. I said, okay, do you think I can

0:50:17.000 --> 0:50:21.360
<v Speaker 1>at least cost like fishing? And he's like, it's like,

0:50:21.600 --> 0:50:23.799
<v Speaker 1>I think you can do that. And I said, all right, cool.

0:50:23.880 --> 0:50:25.360
<v Speaker 1>If I have a kid, do you think I'll be

0:50:25.400 --> 0:50:27.360
<v Speaker 1>able to throw the ball for the kid to like,

0:50:27.719 --> 0:50:29.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, hit the ball and stuff like that. He said,

0:50:29.600 --> 0:50:31.920
<v Speaker 1>I think you'll be able to do that. But being

0:50:32.000 --> 0:50:35.160
<v Speaker 1>an elite athlete bowling one hundred and fifty one hundred

0:50:35.160 --> 0:50:37.839
<v Speaker 1>and fifty five, because that's the dream. I don't know

0:50:37.920 --> 0:50:39.600
<v Speaker 1>if you'll be able to do that. I said, oh,

0:50:39.640 --> 0:50:41.480
<v Speaker 1>that's fine. At least I can do those other things.

0:50:41.719 --> 0:50:44.840
<v Speaker 1>Let's do it. And we did that, and yeah, for

0:50:44.880 --> 0:50:47.160
<v Speaker 1>six months it was hard, like not being able to

0:50:47.160 --> 0:50:51.279
<v Speaker 1>pick up my arm and it sounds hard, terrible, but

0:50:51.320 --> 0:50:54.000
<v Speaker 1>not being able to shower properly, like where you dry yourself,

0:50:54.040 --> 0:50:56.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, or go to the bathroom. It's like, now

0:50:56.800 --> 0:50:58.759
<v Speaker 1>it's my right arm, I'm right hand. It's everything that

0:50:58.800 --> 0:51:01.040
<v Speaker 1>has to be in the left hand. Drive All that

0:51:01.120 --> 0:51:03.960
<v Speaker 1>kind of crap really is not It's not a vibe,

0:51:04.040 --> 0:51:07.400
<v Speaker 1>I can promise you. But then the chronic pain afterwards

0:51:07.480 --> 0:51:11.280
<v Speaker 1>was not great, Like sleeping becomes difficult, just the shooting

0:51:11.320 --> 0:51:15.120
<v Speaker 1>pain into the neck becomes really really painful and shitty

0:51:15.560 --> 0:51:19.399
<v Speaker 1>and creates headaches. You get headaches, like it's not it's

0:51:19.400 --> 0:51:22.040
<v Speaker 1>not a vibe. But then it's kind of it's gone away,

0:51:22.160 --> 0:51:24.440
<v Speaker 1>like now I'm absolutely fine. And the reason why it's

0:51:24.440 --> 0:51:25.800
<v Speaker 1>gone away because I don't bowl anymore.

0:51:26.719 --> 0:51:29.320
<v Speaker 2>It is an unnatural thing to do bowling.

0:51:29.600 --> 0:51:32.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I did it, you know, bubble yoh. When

0:51:32.440 --> 0:51:34.680
<v Speaker 1>I had to do my quarantine, I was so bored.

0:51:34.760 --> 0:51:36.560
<v Speaker 1>Seven days in the room whatever, it is. I caught

0:51:36.600 --> 0:51:39.520
<v Speaker 1>myself shadow bowling in the room. I think I told

0:51:39.560 --> 0:51:41.719
<v Speaker 1>you this, and I had to again have another conversation

0:51:41.760 --> 0:51:44.280
<v Speaker 1>with myself and said, well, what do you do? Don't

0:51:44.320 --> 0:51:48.440
<v Speaker 1>you ever do that again? Those days are garden baddy.

0:51:48.719 --> 0:51:51.560
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't visualize you having a comment. Do you actually

0:51:51.600 --> 0:51:53.120
<v Speaker 2>stare at yourself in the mirror.

0:51:54.000 --> 0:51:57.400
<v Speaker 1>And just look at myself and just say, don't shake

0:51:57.520 --> 0:52:00.680
<v Speaker 1>their head? No, no, no, the long hair.

0:52:02.360 --> 0:52:04.880
<v Speaker 2>You have longer hair than me at the moment? Is

0:52:04.880 --> 0:52:07.600
<v Speaker 2>there a sense of freedom that come you've spoken about

0:52:07.600 --> 0:52:09.680
<v Speaker 2>the pressure and the injuries. Is there a sense of

0:52:09.680 --> 0:52:12.400
<v Speaker 2>freedom or was it a sadness? Or how did you

0:52:12.440 --> 0:52:15.400
<v Speaker 2>feel when you finally made the call to call it quits?

0:52:15.520 --> 0:52:20.879
<v Speaker 1>Absolute freedom? Happy, so happy. Went on a fishing trip

0:52:20.920 --> 0:52:24.680
<v Speaker 1>with my best mates and it's great because I didn't

0:52:24.680 --> 0:52:26.799
<v Speaker 1>see him a lot, and we were on the water

0:52:26.840 --> 0:52:29.040
<v Speaker 1>and we were talking, talking, talking, and at the start

0:52:29.080 --> 0:52:31.120
<v Speaker 1>of the trip I'd said to him and told him

0:52:31.160 --> 0:52:33.480
<v Speaker 1>my concerns and why I wanted to play and why

0:52:33.760 --> 0:52:35.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, I wanted to do the gigs a little

0:52:35.160 --> 0:52:37.000
<v Speaker 1>bit longer. Like I was like, if I do two

0:52:37.080 --> 0:52:39.640
<v Speaker 1>or three more gigs, you know I can make this

0:52:39.719 --> 0:52:41.799
<v Speaker 1>amount of money, I can look after my family. I

0:52:41.800 --> 0:52:43.960
<v Speaker 1>can do this, my sisters wanting to do this. He

0:52:44.040 --> 0:52:45.920
<v Speaker 1>wanted to start a business. I'm like, I can help you,

0:52:46.280 --> 0:52:48.759
<v Speaker 1>and I really wanted to do it, and he's like, you,

0:52:49.239 --> 0:52:51.879
<v Speaker 1>you do realize that you're doing this for everybody else

0:52:51.880 --> 0:52:54.120
<v Speaker 1>and not for yourself. And I knew that when I

0:52:54.160 --> 0:52:57.319
<v Speaker 1>played cricket, Like if I played to play, I got

0:52:57.360 --> 0:53:00.239
<v Speaker 1>all the accolades that I wanted. I've got wickets, I

0:53:00.280 --> 0:53:03.800
<v Speaker 1>had success, I earned money, you know, I won awards

0:53:03.800 --> 0:53:05.000
<v Speaker 1>and all that kind of stuff because I was just

0:53:05.040 --> 0:53:07.080
<v Speaker 1>playing the game. The moment I started to focus on

0:53:07.120 --> 0:53:09.440
<v Speaker 1>something like the outcome, like I'm going to get paid

0:53:09.880 --> 0:53:11.520
<v Speaker 1>or I'm going to get this record, or I'm going

0:53:11.600 --> 0:53:13.720
<v Speaker 1>to do this, shit just became so much more difficult

0:53:13.760 --> 0:53:18.400
<v Speaker 1>to achieve. And we had nice chats for we extended

0:53:18.440 --> 0:53:21.279
<v Speaker 1>the trip by another two days. And when I left

0:53:21.280 --> 0:53:23.600
<v Speaker 1>that trip, I sit him, I'm done. I think. I

0:53:23.640 --> 0:53:28.200
<v Speaker 1>got home on the Monday and I told my agent,

0:53:28.239 --> 0:53:30.279
<v Speaker 1>who's also one of my best friends, You're just like

0:53:30.400 --> 0:53:32.759
<v Speaker 1>my best friend who manages me. I just said to him,

0:53:32.840 --> 0:53:36.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm done and I'm going to announce it tomorrow. And

0:53:36.280 --> 0:53:38.560
<v Speaker 1>he's like, just put the brakes on that for twenty

0:53:38.600 --> 0:53:41.239
<v Speaker 1>four hours and I'm like why. He's like, I just

0:53:41.280 --> 0:53:43.960
<v Speaker 1>need to let all your sponsors know that you're not

0:53:44.000 --> 0:53:46.960
<v Speaker 1>doing this anymore. I said, okay, fine, and he came

0:53:47.000 --> 0:53:48.400
<v Speaker 1>back to me the next day and every one of

0:53:48.400 --> 0:53:50.600
<v Speaker 1>them were happy. They were like, we fully support you,

0:53:50.640 --> 0:53:53.480
<v Speaker 1>U stall with you. You can go ahead. And the

0:53:53.520 --> 0:53:55.960
<v Speaker 1>Wednesday I put a thing out there and said I'm finished.

0:53:56.280 --> 0:53:57.280
<v Speaker 1>No was it happy?

0:53:57.920 --> 0:54:00.480
<v Speaker 2>So you finished up now? So nine we were doing

0:54:00.520 --> 0:54:03.560
<v Speaker 2>this podcast. I got in contact with one of your mates.

0:54:03.640 --> 0:54:04.680
<v Speaker 1>Which he didn't tell me about.

0:54:04.680 --> 0:54:08.960
<v Speaker 2>This interesting no and this here. It's all good, I promise,

0:54:09.120 --> 0:54:13.080
<v Speaker 2>so more. Name Morchael, good team mate of yours. What

0:54:13.200 --> 0:54:15.880
<v Speaker 2>a legend soon to be an Australian. Let's be honest.

0:54:15.680 --> 0:54:16.840
<v Speaker 1>Married you're really Australian.

0:54:17.000 --> 0:54:19.760
<v Speaker 2>He should be if he's not already married to Ross Kelly,

0:54:19.800 --> 0:54:23.720
<v Speaker 2>a wonderful human being also a sports broadcaster. So here's

0:54:23.760 --> 0:54:24.440
<v Speaker 2>his message.

0:54:25.320 --> 0:54:28.400
<v Speaker 3>Hello. Know it's dell Stain the Arrow. Where do I start?

0:54:28.800 --> 0:54:33.040
<v Speaker 3>I sometimes I just like these sort of questions, because

0:54:34.080 --> 0:54:37.239
<v Speaker 3>you know, to do it justice just I don't think

0:54:37.280 --> 0:54:39.680
<v Speaker 3>I can do it. He's he was an absolute legend

0:54:40.880 --> 0:54:42.960
<v Speaker 3>on the field. But I think as a mate and

0:54:43.040 --> 0:54:45.479
<v Speaker 3>as a as a human off the field, he ticks

0:54:45.520 --> 0:54:50.880
<v Speaker 3>all the boxes. Very humble, You'll give all this time

0:54:51.360 --> 0:54:56.160
<v Speaker 3>for no matter what the person is, for a cat,

0:54:56.239 --> 0:54:59.960
<v Speaker 3>for a dog. He's just got this warm, loving person

0:55:00.800 --> 0:55:04.480
<v Speaker 3>and he makes time for for everybody. I think on

0:55:04.520 --> 0:55:07.120
<v Speaker 3>the field, drive what I love about him was that,

0:55:07.440 --> 0:55:09.200
<v Speaker 3>you know, he had a hell of a lot of success,

0:55:09.200 --> 0:55:12.920
<v Speaker 3>but that never changed him. Just him always putting his

0:55:13.040 --> 0:55:16.400
<v Speaker 3>arm around sort of newcomers that will come into the side.

0:55:16.760 --> 0:55:19.799
<v Speaker 3>I think the odder we get, you know, sometimes you'll

0:55:19.960 --> 0:55:22.920
<v Speaker 3>you'll feel that you need to protect your your your spot,

0:55:23.040 --> 0:55:25.280
<v Speaker 3>but that wasn't the case with Dale. He was always

0:55:25.480 --> 0:55:29.400
<v Speaker 3>the first guy there to welcome a player, a new bowler.

0:55:29.480 --> 0:55:32.520
<v Speaker 3>Always well, he was always there sort of talking to

0:55:32.600 --> 0:55:36.279
<v Speaker 3>him about fast bowling and just making sure that the

0:55:36.320 --> 0:55:40.440
<v Speaker 3>guy felt comfortable in the space and that he was settled.

0:55:40.800 --> 0:55:42.960
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, I think we can all see no sort

0:55:43.000 --> 0:55:45.920
<v Speaker 3>of just life after cricket as well. You know how

0:55:45.960 --> 0:55:49.439
<v Speaker 3>he goes about life. He's a very humble guy. He's

0:55:49.520 --> 0:55:52.919
<v Speaker 3>honestly a true friend. He's a guy that you can

0:55:53.040 --> 0:55:56.200
<v Speaker 3>you can call and the night to come and pick

0:55:56.239 --> 0:55:59.520
<v Speaker 3>you up from airports and to drive you back home

0:55:59.560 --> 0:56:03.160
<v Speaker 3>off the night out. He's very responsible human being, very resilient.

0:56:03.239 --> 0:56:06.360
<v Speaker 3>I mean that guy played for a long time with

0:56:05.520 --> 0:56:09.400
<v Speaker 3>a broken shoulder, a lot of injections and a lot of tablets,

0:56:09.440 --> 0:56:13.000
<v Speaker 3>and he fought through that. And then to fee him

0:56:13.000 --> 0:56:15.840
<v Speaker 3>to see him come back after that big injury and

0:56:15.880 --> 0:56:18.239
<v Speaker 3>still go and dominate and become, you know, the leading

0:56:18.280 --> 0:56:21.400
<v Speaker 3>wicket taker for South Africa was great and it is

0:56:21.520 --> 0:56:24.480
<v Speaker 3>really you know, a spot or slot that he deserves.

0:56:25.400 --> 0:56:26.279
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, he.

0:56:26.320 --> 0:56:31.080
<v Speaker 3>Became a household name from from Palabora. I think that

0:56:31.160 --> 0:56:33.400
<v Speaker 3>also takes a lot, just the resilience and the character

0:56:33.480 --> 0:56:38.040
<v Speaker 3>he showed growing up from sort of Pala Bora, where

0:56:38.400 --> 0:56:39.719
<v Speaker 3>you know, a lot of things are not given to

0:56:39.760 --> 0:56:43.040
<v Speaker 3>you, you need to earn it. And I think that sums

0:56:43.080 --> 0:56:45.160
<v Speaker 3>him up also as a characterist, the fact that he's

0:56:45.160 --> 0:56:49.080
<v Speaker 3>a hard working guy. He had fought very hard to

0:56:49.680 --> 0:56:52.320
<v Speaker 3>all success and he did that. He could have easily

0:56:52.320 --> 0:56:56.160
<v Speaker 3>fallen or fallen off the of the wagon, but yeah,

0:56:56.200 --> 0:56:58.279
<v Speaker 3>he was very determined and very focused to become the

0:56:58.360 --> 0:57:00.719
<v Speaker 3>base in the world and it did have happened to

0:57:00.960 --> 0:57:01.959
<v Speaker 3>a better man.

0:57:02.800 --> 0:57:03.480
<v Speaker 1>He's a nice guy.

0:57:03.680 --> 0:57:06.280
<v Speaker 2>It's not a bad summary though, No he's lying.

0:57:09.080 --> 0:57:11.200
<v Speaker 1>You know. I've known Morne for a long time. I

0:57:11.239 --> 0:57:13.239
<v Speaker 1>want to tell you how so I played against Morner

0:57:13.360 --> 0:57:16.080
<v Speaker 1>in school. Like he was. He was always as tall

0:57:16.120 --> 0:57:17.880
<v Speaker 1>as he is now. He was just a lot skinnier,

0:57:18.080 --> 0:57:20.680
<v Speaker 1>so he just looked like as cheap as he was scary,

0:57:21.240 --> 0:57:24.440
<v Speaker 1>and the same thing as Ab. I met Ab when

0:57:24.440 --> 0:57:27.000
<v Speaker 1>I was about ten. I think he was nine. But anyway,

0:57:27.080 --> 0:57:32.360
<v Speaker 1>long story short, Mornee comes to the Titans, and the

0:57:32.400 --> 0:57:35.200
<v Speaker 1>Titans is the franchise in South Africa. It's who we

0:57:35.200 --> 0:57:39.520
<v Speaker 1>played for in Pretorium and I lost my contract to

0:57:39.560 --> 0:57:42.360
<v Speaker 1>the Titans and they signed They signed Fuff, one guy

0:57:42.360 --> 0:57:44.640
<v Speaker 1>from the Titans, and they signed Morne, who was from Easterns.

0:57:44.640 --> 0:57:47.680
<v Speaker 1>It's when Easterns and Titans joined to become one. We took.

0:57:48.000 --> 0:57:50.720
<v Speaker 1>Instead of having ten provinces or something, we broke down

0:57:50.760 --> 0:57:53.560
<v Speaker 1>to six. So joined and I was out of a

0:57:53.560 --> 0:57:56.920
<v Speaker 1>contract and I had a coaching job at the Titans.

0:57:56.920 --> 0:57:58.440
<v Speaker 1>I had to go and coach to make money at

0:57:58.440 --> 0:58:00.560
<v Speaker 1>this point, but Mornee was a rookie. He was being paid.

0:58:01.000 --> 0:58:03.360
<v Speaker 1>Then I walked into the dressing room because I used

0:58:03.360 --> 0:58:06.000
<v Speaker 1>to steal the milk the coffee monk to have my

0:58:06.040 --> 0:58:08.880
<v Speaker 1>wheat picks in the morning and I had no cash,

0:58:09.000 --> 0:58:10.680
<v Speaker 1>so this is what I did. And I walked in

0:58:10.720 --> 0:58:12.280
<v Speaker 1>and this is one of the first times I had

0:58:12.360 --> 0:58:15.760
<v Speaker 1>a conversation with more name, greeted him, how'sard? And we

0:58:15.800 --> 0:58:17.880
<v Speaker 1>sat there and we had a bowl of wheat picks together,

0:58:18.760 --> 0:58:22.160
<v Speaker 1>and he was eighteen and I was nineteen, and I've

0:58:22.200 --> 0:58:24.680
<v Speaker 1>known him my whole life since. We've been like best

0:58:24.680 --> 0:58:30.760
<v Speaker 1>mates since over a bowl of wheat picks.

0:58:30.960 --> 0:58:33.760
<v Speaker 2>I love that. I love that. Is that nice to

0:58:33.760 --> 0:58:36.560
<v Speaker 2>know that your tall mates, that's how they think of you,

0:58:36.640 --> 0:58:38.280
<v Speaker 2>and they think of the person before they think of

0:58:38.320 --> 0:58:40.000
<v Speaker 2>any wickets or whatever you do.

0:58:40.160 --> 0:58:42.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think so that's the most important thing. I

0:58:42.080 --> 0:58:44.640
<v Speaker 1>think you won success on the field. Obviously you want

0:58:44.640 --> 0:58:46.920
<v Speaker 1>to do well and stuff like that, but like I

0:58:47.000 --> 0:58:48.840
<v Speaker 1>think we just judged on who we are as people

0:58:48.960 --> 0:58:50.280
<v Speaker 1>at the end of the day. I mean, Morna is

0:58:50.320 --> 0:58:52.040
<v Speaker 1>one of the nicest guys in the world, you know,

0:58:52.120 --> 0:58:53.800
<v Speaker 1>on and off the field. If you don't ask anybody

0:58:53.800 --> 0:58:55.919
<v Speaker 1>in the world. And I'm not saying this like as

0:58:55.960 --> 0:58:58.680
<v Speaker 1>a reply to what he's saying. He genuinely is. Even

0:58:58.720 --> 0:59:01.360
<v Speaker 1>now when I like sit and I'm like courts to

0:59:01.400 --> 0:59:04.160
<v Speaker 1>who do you want to have win New Zealand or Australia.

0:59:04.240 --> 0:59:06.439
<v Speaker 1>I don't. I don't care, you know, Like I've got

0:59:06.480 --> 0:59:09.440
<v Speaker 1>so many, so many nice guys in both teams. I

0:59:09.600 --> 0:59:11.400
<v Speaker 1>just hope the best team wins on the day, you know.

0:59:11.440 --> 0:59:14.560
<v Speaker 1>That's all I can say. And maybe I became soft

0:59:14.680 --> 0:59:16.680
<v Speaker 1>over my last couple of years as a player, and

0:59:16.720 --> 0:59:18.360
<v Speaker 1>also a good reason why I had to step away

0:59:18.400 --> 0:59:20.600
<v Speaker 1>from the game, because I lost that edge that I

0:59:20.680 --> 0:59:23.640
<v Speaker 1>once had, that kill it instinct and everything. You know,

0:59:23.760 --> 0:59:26.200
<v Speaker 1>I've become a circus line. You know, I'm not that nature,

0:59:26.320 --> 0:59:28.560
<v Speaker 1>the wild one in the that would just take you

0:59:28.600 --> 0:59:32.120
<v Speaker 1>and rip you apart, you know, So I think that's

0:59:32.120 --> 0:59:32.680
<v Speaker 1>more important.

0:59:32.720 --> 0:59:37.520
<v Speaker 2>Now at the backstages, You've just given me goosebumps without analogy.

0:59:37.600 --> 0:59:40.520
<v Speaker 2>That's so fascinating. Have you thought that for a while

0:59:40.640 --> 0:59:41.800
<v Speaker 2>or have you just come to.

0:59:41.760 --> 0:59:43.440
<v Speaker 1>That realization said that right now?

0:59:44.480 --> 0:59:49.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Well, I've got to say that the circus line

0:59:49.320 --> 0:59:53.680
<v Speaker 2>has been bloody lovely to get to know Dale. I

0:59:53.760 --> 0:59:55.920
<v Speaker 2>honestly I had no idea what you would be like

0:59:56.080 --> 0:59:58.400
<v Speaker 2>to work with because, like I say, I saw you

0:59:58.440 --> 1:00:02.720
<v Speaker 2>for years, covered it for years you playing cricket, but

1:00:02.800 --> 1:00:05.240
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know you as a person, and you are

1:00:05.360 --> 1:00:07.240
<v Speaker 2>very easy to get to know as a person because

1:00:07.240 --> 1:00:10.880
<v Speaker 2>you open yourself up so generously to people. And I

1:00:10.960 --> 1:00:12.680
<v Speaker 2>just want to say you've been a joy to work

1:00:12.720 --> 1:00:17.000
<v Speaker 2>with and to become friends with. I hope absolutely, And yeah,

1:00:17.000 --> 1:00:18.960
<v Speaker 2>I thank you for being so open. But most of all,

1:00:19.000 --> 1:00:20.600
<v Speaker 2>I just thank you for being the bloke that you are,

1:00:20.680 --> 1:00:22.160
<v Speaker 2>because I think it's pretty great.

1:00:22.360 --> 1:00:24.480
<v Speaker 1>No, thank you, No, it's been great. So I've had

1:00:24.480 --> 1:00:26.640
<v Speaker 1>a lot of time from your pitch reports of the

1:00:26.680 --> 1:00:31.320
<v Speaker 1>most of the going to do. Other than that, it's

1:00:31.320 --> 1:00:33.160
<v Speaker 1>been a absolute blast.

1:00:35.600 --> 1:00:37.960
<v Speaker 2>See if you made it look easy first time, then

1:00:37.960 --> 1:00:39.680
<v Speaker 2>it would make people like me have been trying to

1:00:39.720 --> 1:00:41.439
<v Speaker 2>do it for two decades really bad.

1:00:41.680 --> 1:00:46.200
<v Speaker 1>I am totally impressed with Like, yeah, I'd love to

1:00:46.240 --> 1:00:48.720
<v Speaker 1>tell the story about you quickly if I cared, Like

1:00:48.880 --> 1:00:53.600
<v Speaker 1>this is crazy, So I rock up and narrowly trying

1:00:53.640 --> 1:00:56.760
<v Speaker 1>to get her yeah piece and the whole you know

1:00:56.920 --> 1:01:01.080
<v Speaker 1>contraption that you strap onto your back, your plug into

1:01:01.080 --> 1:01:03.240
<v Speaker 1>her dress. It's the size of I don't know, like

1:01:03.280 --> 1:01:05.280
<v Speaker 1>a cell phone. It's quite big. Just for the viewers

1:01:05.280 --> 1:01:08.760
<v Speaker 1>to understand the size, and with ten seconds to go,

1:01:08.880 --> 1:01:11.000
<v Speaker 1>she had about two minutes to get this on and

1:01:11.040 --> 1:01:13.440
<v Speaker 1>she's struggling, struggling, struggling. With about ten seconds to go,

1:01:13.600 --> 1:01:15.880
<v Speaker 1>she had three people around her, and you put your

1:01:15.960 --> 1:01:18.680
<v Speaker 1>stuff down on the floor and I saw the director

1:01:18.720 --> 1:01:21.840
<v Speaker 1>go five. He puts out his hand five four, three

1:01:22.600 --> 1:01:25.560
<v Speaker 1>to one, and without panic, you picked up your clipboard,

1:01:25.680 --> 1:01:28.400
<v Speaker 1>looked straight into the camera and said, good afternoon everybody,

1:01:28.440 --> 1:01:32.600
<v Speaker 1>and welcome to Abadabi. And just like that, the amazing

1:01:32.960 --> 1:01:34.880
<v Speaker 1>No one in the world would have known that. There

1:01:34.960 --> 1:01:39.280
<v Speaker 1>was absolute panic with one second to go before we

1:01:39.320 --> 1:01:41.560
<v Speaker 1>went live on the TV, and I was like, that's

1:01:41.600 --> 1:01:46.440
<v Speaker 1>why you do this job, That's why you do this job.

1:01:46.880 --> 1:01:48.640
<v Speaker 2>With Darren Sammy staring.

1:01:48.320 --> 1:01:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Me down, I could see he was like panicking panic

1:01:53.560 --> 1:01:55.920
<v Speaker 1>that she nailed it. Thank you, well done.

1:01:57.640 --> 1:02:00.760
<v Speaker 2>That live TV and fun performing.

1:02:01.400 --> 1:02:01.640
<v Speaker 1>Dale.

1:02:01.760 --> 1:02:03.880
<v Speaker 2>Thanks so much for your timing being really generous. I

1:02:03.920 --> 1:02:04.800
<v Speaker 2>really appreciate it.

1:02:04.920 --> 1:02:10.080
<v Speaker 1>Very welcome tax on time.

1:02:12.240 --> 1:02:15.560
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for listening to this episode of Ordinarily Speaking, and

1:02:15.600 --> 1:02:18.280
<v Speaker 2>once again thanks to Dale for allowing us to spend

1:02:18.280 --> 1:02:20.240
<v Speaker 2>some time with him. If you want to get in

1:02:20.280 --> 1:02:25.120
<v Speaker 2>touch with the podcast at Ordinarily Underscore Speaking, on Instagram

1:02:25.320 --> 1:02:29.720
<v Speaker 2>or on Twitter at Narrowly Underscore Meadows. A new episode

1:02:29.760 --> 1:02:41.920
<v Speaker 2>will drop next week.

1:03:00.880 --> 1:03:02.560
<v Speaker 1>Show me that you want a bigo