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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for.

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Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just once answers.

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Speaker 1: Now, it's been a while since we've done this book club, Kylie.

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Speaker 1: You've been reading books. I've been reading books.

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Speaker 3: And once a month or thereabouts we make a bit

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Speaker 3: of a departure from parenting and just share I don't know,

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Speaker 3: life stuff, the things that we're reading, the things that

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Speaker 3: we've been inspired by, all that we haven't because.

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Speaker 1: We know that everyone loves a good book, well almost

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Speaker 1: everyone loves a good book, so this is not going

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Speaker 1: to be a surprise to you. But I have about

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Speaker 1: seven books that I can talk about from the last month,

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Speaker 1: month and a half since we last recorded a book

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Speaker 1: club podcast. How many have you got for us?

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Speaker 2: I've been really slow the last couple of months. I

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Speaker 2: picked up a book. It was six hundred and twenty

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Speaker 2: eight pages.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at the book that you've got on the desk.

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Speaker 1: Is that the one that you're going to talk about?

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Speaker 1: Is I don't know what the word is. It's a tone.

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Speaker 1: It looks like it's heavy.

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Speaker 2: And so I think that that may have had something

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Speaker 2: to do with that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough. Not to mention the fact that we're

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Speaker 1: running a household with all these kids, and we've become grandparents.

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Speaker 2: I've got two this month.

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Speaker 1: Okay too, Well, why don't you go first and we'll go.

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Speaker 1: You me, you me. Let's hear about your first book.

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Speaker 1: So the first book I.

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Speaker 2: Read was Kate Morton's Homecoming. This was the six hundred

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Speaker 2: and twenty eight pages. It's like the Bible. It was massive,

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Speaker 2: and I was really excited to pick this book up. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but I was also really daunted by just how big

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Speaker 2: it was. And to be honest, while Kate has actually

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Speaker 2: crafted a ridiculously enthralling and captivating story, her beginning was

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Speaker 2: actually quite confusing, and because of the space in my life,

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Speaker 2: not being able to read it with any level of

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Speaker 2: continuity or consistency meant that each time I picked it up,

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Speaker 2: I kind of had to read back over what I'd

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Speaker 2: read to kind of get a sense of where I

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Speaker 2: was at and where she was going.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes an author makes you work a bit harder than

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Speaker 1: you've got the capacity to work. It's not necessarily poor writing.

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Speaker 2: No, and I don't think it was. I think that literally,

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Speaker 2: normally I would have read every night, yea, but this

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Speaker 2: would often be you know, four or five days between.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right, And if you're taking that big of a gap,

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Speaker 1: you kind of can't remember the names of the character

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Speaker 1: or who's related to who and how.

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Speaker 2: And there's lots of different perspectives that she's writing from,

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Speaker 2: so kind of taking it from all of those different

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Speaker 2: perspectives got a little bit confusing because of the length

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Speaker 2: of time span between each read. But in saying that,

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Speaker 2: by the time I got to kind of the crux,

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Speaker 2: once everything fell into place, I was so captivated. I

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Speaker 2: didn't want to eat, I didn't want to sleep. I

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Speaker 2: just wanted to read I love that and find out

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Speaker 2: what was happening. And not only that, she completely blew

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Speaker 2: me out of the water. Every conceivable outcome I had

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Speaker 2: thought I knew just went out the window and it

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Speaker 2: was none of them.

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Speaker 1: So in thirty seconds or less, what's the book about?

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Speaker 2: Book set in the Adelaide Hills in the nineteen late

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Speaker 2: nineteen fifties, and it's a small towel and there is

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Speaker 2: a family who was murdered on Christmas Eve and so.

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Speaker 1: Sounds kind of morbid. So this is like a true

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Speaker 1: crime kind of novel. Yeah, member, Maybe it's not a

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Speaker 1: true crime. Maybe it's a fiction crime. Yeah, but it's

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Speaker 1: a crime novel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so there's definite Obviously there's a dark side to

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Speaker 2: its sounds like it, but it's it's really a story

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Speaker 2: about family history and how march the relationships that you

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Speaker 2: have within your families determine your ability to want to

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Speaker 2: protect the people you love. So it's one of those

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Speaker 2: stories where it really kind of, I guess, taps into

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Speaker 2: your consciousness and your sense of what's right and wrong

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Speaker 2: and what you would do for the ones that you love.

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Speaker 1: Okay, now, you were telling me a bit about this

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Speaker 1: as we're going through it, and I think I'm going

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Speaker 1: to add it to my list ever expanding books to

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Speaker 1: read because it did sound really great. What are you

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Speaker 1: going to give it out of five?

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Speaker 2: Because it was so tricky Based on my personal experience,

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Speaker 2: I have to give it a three point five. I

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Speaker 2: want to give it more. This story was fantastic, but

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Speaker 2: it was just so hard for me to get into.

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Speaker 2: I don't actually think that's Kate's fold. I think it's mine,

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Speaker 2: but based on my personal experience, that's where I'm going.

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Speaker 1: Okay, my first book, So there are so many that

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about, but I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: talk about all seven or eight that I read. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to pick up on a book called Winner's Take All,

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Speaker 1: Winners Take All. It's by a guy with a surname

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Speaker 1: that I'm going to get wrong. Please forgive me for

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Speaker 1: being well, for not knowing how to say it. His

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Speaker 1: name is an und gerrit Arrodas. I think that I've

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Speaker 1: said that right, a nund Gerritaridas and Winners Take All

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Speaker 1: is a book that well, it was really challenging for me.

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Speaker 1: The subtitle is the Elite Charade of Changing the World.

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Speaker 1: So this was a book recommended to me by a

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Speaker 1: colleague who works at Oxford University, and he said, read

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Speaker 1: this book absolutely amazing. I read a review of it

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Speaker 1: recently with a quote from the Simpsons movie that really

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Speaker 1: sums up what this book is about. The quote is quote,

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Speaker 1: I'm a rich man and wanted to give something back,

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Speaker 1: not the money, but something. And essentially what goes on

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Speaker 1: here is nund Is a former McKinsey analyst. He's a

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Speaker 1: New York Times correspondent. He's been all over the news media.

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Speaker 1: He's been awarded this very very prestigious Henry Crown Fellowship

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Speaker 1: at Aspen. Gets invited onto private planes amid discussions of

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Speaker 1: drinking projects in Kenya and improved farm supply chains in India.

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Speaker 1: He's given two TED talks, and yet the whole time

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Speaker 1: he's living this life. He's basically saying there is something

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Speaker 1: the matter with this elite life, and essentially he's turning

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Speaker 1: on everyone who's made a big deal about him. He's

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Speaker 1: looking at philanthropy and the way the people who are

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Speaker 1: so wealthy, the multi multi multimillionaire and billionaire people across

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Speaker 1: the planet, and how they act like they're wonderfully generous

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Speaker 1: because they've got all this money in there trying to

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Speaker 1: get into philanthropy and do good and give back to

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Speaker 1: the world, but they're doing it in a way that

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Speaker 1: is a giant, sweet lipped lie. So he gets into

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Speaker 1: the heavy stuff, like he's talking about how when they

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Speaker 1: talk about giving money, they talk about alleviating poverty, but

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Speaker 1: they won't have conversations about inequality and the structures that

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Speaker 1: support inequality. In other words, I've got lots of money,

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Speaker 1: and so long as we don't change the power structure

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Speaker 1: that makes sure that I keep all my money, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to do everything that I need to do to

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Speaker 1: make it look like I'm being very generous, but of

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Speaker 1: course I'm maintaining the system and the structure that facilitates

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Speaker 1: my endless supply of huge sums of money so that

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Speaker 1: I can keep on bringing it in and then just

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Speaker 1: decide who I'm going to help, when I'm going to

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Speaker 1: help them, and how I'm going to help them. It's

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Speaker 1: a really heavy book.

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Speaker 2: So he's really talking about the fact that in order

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Speaker 2: for systemic change to take place, it actually we need

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Speaker 2: to look at the very system that yes creating the inequality.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's basically saying the system is wrong, the system

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Speaker 1: is rigged, and the elites at the top are keeping

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Speaker 1: it that way because they get to stay where they are.

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Speaker 1: It's a blistering critique of the elite class, the political class.

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Speaker 1: I'll give you an example of it. And this is

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Speaker 1: a really political thing for me to say, but I'm

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Speaker 1: very comfortable saying it. Just recently in the news, like

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Speaker 1: about a month ago, Anthony Albanese's son made headlines because

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Speaker 1: Alan Joyce, the CEO of Quantas, gave Albanese's son access

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Speaker 1: to the Chairman's Lounge, this invite only exclusive club the

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Speaker 1: frequent flyers, cherry picked, hand picked frequent flyers get to

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Speaker 1: go into. Now, I've got a friend who is in

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Speaker 1: the level below that, the highest level you can get,

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Speaker 1: and he got me into the lounge recently as he

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Speaker 1: was visiting the airport at the same time as me.

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Speaker 1: Instead of going into the virgin lounge that I normally

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Speaker 1: go to, I got to go into this, not the

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Speaker 1: Chairman's but the first class lounge that Quatus flies. Get

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Speaker 1: this friend of mine, he flies internationally business class and

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Speaker 1: first class all the time for work. That's his business

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Speaker 1: pays for it. And when I stepped in there there

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Speaker 1: was a chef waiting for my order. I got to

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Speaker 1: order the most incredible brisket with a side of whatever

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Speaker 1: I wanted. I mean. And I'm sitting there going this

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Speaker 1: is not like the virgin lounge that I'm used to

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Speaker 1: going into, and even that's kind of cool compared to

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Speaker 1: everyone else who flies cattle class, right, And so I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at this. You just called it cattle Well that's

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Speaker 1: what people have called it for decades. But this is

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Speaker 1: the crazy thing. The Prime Minister's son gets this exclusive

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Speaker 1: invitation into the Chairman's lounge, and there's no way he

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Speaker 1: gets it except that he's the son of the PM.

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Speaker 1: It's perks for the boys. It's that kind of idea.

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Speaker 1: And here's what's really rotten about it. Nobody else in

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Speaker 1: the political class made any noise about it, because they've

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Speaker 1: all got their noses in the trough. And if they

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Speaker 1: start pointing fingers at Albanese and his son for taking

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Speaker 1: advantage of a perk that this son did not earn

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Speaker 1: in any way, that would mean that when they get

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Speaker 1: an opportunity to be in power, they can't take those

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Speaker 1: perks for themselves in their own families. So this, like

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Speaker 1: I said, it's just this critique of the elite class

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Speaker 1: and how they seek to use their their wealth and

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Speaker 1: their position and their power to look good in their

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Speaker 1: philanthropy without changing the status quo. Really hard to read,

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Speaker 1: really challenging with its views, and also frustrating because there

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Speaker 1: was a lack of real solutions. But I'm really glad

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Speaker 1: that I read it, and I was really stretched by it.

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Speaker 1: So the book is called Winners Take All by Anangerodaradas.

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Speaker 1: I hope I pronounced the name correctly.

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Speaker 2: Give it.

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Speaker 1: I'd give it a four and a half out of five. No, actually,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to give it a five

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Speaker 1: out of five. I loved the challenge and I loved

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Speaker 1: the critique. I thought it was good, good, good. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about your second book, Kylie.

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Speaker 2: Well, my second book is called The Secret Life of

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Speaker 2: You by ca Mary Sackville. Now, I wanted to love

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Speaker 2: this book, right, I really wanted to love it.

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Speaker 1: I've read a lot of Kerry Sackville stuff. She's all

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Speaker 1: over the internet, like, she publishes a lot, and she's

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Speaker 1: I guess you'd call her an opinion writer.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm, yeah, and so I guess that's probably where i'd start.

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Speaker 2: She wrote it like she was an expert yep in

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Speaker 2: the area, but she's actually just a person who's had

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Speaker 2: an experience, Okay. And so as I read it, there

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Speaker 2: were definitely things that I highlighted. There were definitely things

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Speaker 2: that stood out to me.

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Speaker 1: You kept on stopping me from reading my books and saying, hey,

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Speaker 1: I've got to read this to you, I've got to

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Speaker 1: read that to you. So obviously there were things there

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Speaker 1: that touched nerves for you and that you found useful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So her subtitle is how a bit of a

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Speaker 2: loone time can change your life, relationships, and maybe the world.

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Speaker 2: And so she came to a point in her life

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Speaker 2: where she recognized that she was living pretty much a

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Speaker 2: life of distraction, with your phone being such a constant

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Speaker 2: presence presence in your life and a constant draw of

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Speaker 2: your attention, right, she just realized that as a whole,

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Speaker 2: she was actually not comfortable in just doing nothing, like

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Speaker 2: to be able to sit we talk about mindfulness, to

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Speaker 2: be able to sit in that place for so many

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Speaker 2: of us is really uncomfortable. And as she started delving

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Speaker 2: into it more kind of on her social networks, she

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Speaker 2: realized that across the board, people were saying the things

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Speaker 2: like why would I spend time in my own head?

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Speaker 2: Like I don't want to know what's in there, or

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Speaker 2: that's a dark, scary place, I can't go there, or

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Speaker 2: you know, different things like that, and she just realized

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Speaker 2: how we're living in this society where we actually, in

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Speaker 2: so many cases, don't even know who we are, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because we're listening to other people's voices so much. We're

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Speaker 2: just kind of trouting off other people's opinions, other people's

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Speaker 2: thoughts around things, and we actually haven't taken the time

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Speaker 2: to do the deep thinking about who we are and

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Speaker 2: what we stand for and what we want out of

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Speaker 2: our lives. We just kind of just in the rat race.

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Speaker 1: I talk about doing the inner work, and it sounds

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Speaker 1: like what she's highlight is we live such busy lives

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Speaker 1: and so I guess so superficially on our screens that

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Speaker 1: we're not doing that in a work. That's what I'm

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Speaker 1: hearing you say.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and we lack intension about how we do things.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So the Secret Life of You by Kerry Sackville,

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Speaker 1: what are you going to give it?

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Speaker 2: I'm going to give it a two and a half.

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Speaker 1: Oh. I was expecting a big score based on the

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Speaker 1: way you spoke about it, but it just didn't resonate

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Speaker 1: for you. Wasn't deep enough, wasn't strong enough.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 2: I think if she had written it as a memoir,

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Speaker 2: huh and kind of just shared her experience, I probably

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Speaker 2: would have enjoyed the process more. But I kind of

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Speaker 2: I just felt like she was trying to write from

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Speaker 2: a place of expertise.

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Speaker 1: You've been married to me too long.

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Speaker 2: Instead of just sharing her experienced And it just left

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Speaker 2: me wanting because having gone through this process for myself,

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Speaker 2: and I've spent nearly forty years of my life actually

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Speaker 2: being afraid to be alone. I didn't think I could

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Speaker 2: do it, and then finally challenging my own thought processes

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Speaker 2: and putting myself in that situation, have found such a

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Speaker 2: beautiful new lease in life and have come to know

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Speaker 2: myself in a totally different way. So I wanted her

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Speaker 2: to add to my story, but I don't think she did.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well my last one. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be really sneaky. I want to tell you about the

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Speaker 1: other books that I've read, but I'm only going to

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Speaker 1: pick one. So I read another book called The Ideas

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Speaker 1: Industry by Daniel Dresner. He's an academic. It's all about

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Speaker 1: political science, thought leadership, economics. I didn't understand it well.

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Speaker 1: I have to take the message in. It probably was

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Speaker 1: a five star book, but I only gave it three

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Speaker 1: because I really didn't understand what I read, and I

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Speaker 1: pushed through it for two weeks. It was such hard going.

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Speaker 1: But anyone who's into economics, political science, and thought leadership,

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Speaker 1: you might like The Ideas Industry one of my favorite books.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Just recently I interviewed Madonna King on

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Speaker 1: the podcast. I don't know if you heard me talking

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Speaker 1: with her about her brand new book, Saving Our Kids.

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Speaker 2: That was a great podcast.

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Speaker 1: It was a great interview, definitely worth going back and

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Speaker 1: listening to it. But when we did the interview, I

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Speaker 1: hadn't had the opportunity to read the book. It only

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Speaker 1: arrived the day before and we were going to put

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Speaker 1: postpone it, but the book was coming out, and we

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Speaker 1: just I really wanted to support Madonna in her work.

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Speaker 1: I've now read the book. This book is the most

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Speaker 1: important book Madonna King has ever written. I just I've

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Speaker 1: got goosebumps talking about it. She's written Being Fourteen, She's

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Speaker 1: written Fathers and Daughters, She's written l players like I've

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Speaker 1: got so many of her books on my shelf because

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Speaker 1: she's prolific. But this book, Saving Our Kids is about

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Speaker 1: Task Force Argos and the devastating trade in children that

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Speaker 1: happens online. In terms of explicit content, She's got an

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Speaker 1: inside channel into what the police are doing to try

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Speaker 1: to stem the tide and capture predators, and this book

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Speaker 1: is all about that. It is devastating, it is terrifying.

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Speaker 1: It is so hard to read. But of all the

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Speaker 1: books that I've ever read of Madonna Kings, this one

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Speaker 1: will remain in my mind in ways that the others don't.

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Speaker 1: Not that the others weren't good, but this is just

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Speaker 1: this is her best by far from my perspective. Five stars, amazing, amazing.

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Speaker 1: A couple of others really quickly. Joe Prendergast. She's a

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Speaker 1: New Zealand psychiatrist. She's written a book called When Life Sucks.

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Speaker 1: It's really for parents of teens who are going through

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Speaker 1: all of the psychiatric kind of dramas. It was a

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Speaker 1: good book. She did a good job. I've got her

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Speaker 1: coming up on the podcast soon, so i won't say

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Speaker 1: anything more about the book for now. You can hear

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Speaker 1: her on the podcast soon. Last one that I'm going

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Speaker 1: to mention is Gene Twangy, Professor Gen Twangy. We had

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Speaker 1: her in the Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit and she

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Speaker 1: wrote a book called Generations. This is where we compare

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Speaker 1: the Boomers to Gen X to Gen Y or Jen

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Speaker 1: why is also known now as Minils if I'm remembering

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Speaker 1: the book correctly, Jen Z and the brand new Generation

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Speaker 1: Being Raised. This was a really compelling book. Now I'm

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Speaker 1: not into the whole generational thing. I keep on talking

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Speaker 1: about how there's so much diversity within each generation. And

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Speaker 1: how can you tar an entire generation with one broad brushstroke.

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Speaker 1: I'm chain tune after reading Gene Twagey's book. It is brilliant,

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Speaker 1: five stars generations. Absolutely loved it, And I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to tell you about the book that I'm reading right now.

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Speaker 1: It's so good. I'm going to get the author on

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Speaker 1: so that we can have him on the podcast. He

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Speaker 1: lost two of his kids in a car accident while

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Speaker 1: he and his wife were driving, and it's a book

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Speaker 1: about the grief and it is just profound. It's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Can't wait to tell you more about that. Hey, we

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Speaker 1: really hope there's some books here that pique your interest

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Speaker 1: and drag you into the depths of enjoying everything that

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Speaker 1: books can be. We will include all the details about

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Speaker 1: them in the show notes. Thanks for listening. The Happy

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Speaker 1: Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 1: Craig Bruces is our executive producer

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Speaker 3: And if you like morofo about the stuff we've talked about,

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Speaker 3: check the show notes or visit us at Happy families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot au for more about making your family happier.