Speaker 1: Lifelun Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Lifelong Cut.
Speaker 1: I'm Brittany, I'm Laura's Thursday, and it's therapy Thursday, our
Speaker 1: favorite day of the.
Speaker 2: Week where we answer your deep you're dark and you're
Speaker 2: burning questions.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have something I've been losing sleep over and
Speaker 1: I need to figure it out. And I mean literally
Speaker 1: losing sleep I took a sleeping tablet last night.
Speaker 3: How do you feel very groggy?
Speaker 1: I need to get some non drowsing.
Speaker 3: I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't do sleeping tablets. I can't even say sleeping day.
Speaker 1: That's because you have small children that depend on you
Speaker 1: in the nighttime.
Speaker 3: You can't sleep through that. I absolutely can't. Oh, so, Bows,
Speaker 3: that was very funny. So why do you lose and
Speaker 3: sleep over? Britty? Oh shit?
Speaker 1: So it was something that happened to Keisha and I
Speaker 1: and Bali. So like I'm going to cast us back
Speaker 1: a week. It was only a week ago, not less.
Speaker 3: It was you got back on Sunday. No, the night
Speaker 3: was six days ago.
Speaker 1: The night of the eve of the twenty first of
Speaker 1: August was Wednesday night, Balmie night. BALI were at Rock Bar,
Speaker 1: so Keisha and I were celebrating our birthday, very cute
Speaker 1: on the side of a cliff overlooking the water, sunset, drinks.
Speaker 1: It was amazing, so romantic. So we hadn't told anyone
Speaker 1: it was our birthday. We were like, just us, let's
Speaker 1: go celebrate our birthday. So we're sitting on this platform
Speaker 1: and we start to hear these and it's packed. We
Speaker 1: start to hear these tambourines going, and four or five
Speaker 1: Balinese workers like staff there started to walk up these
Speaker 1: stairs and they started to sing Happy Birthday. They had
Speaker 1: a plate and the tambourines were going. It was a
Speaker 1: whole thing. And so I'm always the person that joins
Speaker 1: in singing group happy birthdays.
Speaker 3: So I'm like as loud as you can.
Speaker 1: So I start clapping and I'm like, happy.
Speaker 3: Birth Get the whole restaurant involved. To be fair, it
Speaker 3: was like more than fifty meters away.
Speaker 4: It was a long way away, so we assumed that
Speaker 4: it was also someone else's birthday. We were like, how
Speaker 4: cool you were like hypeath.
Speaker 1: So they were walking towards us and there was only
Speaker 1: us and this other one table behind us, this couple
Speaker 1: on the platform. So I turn around and face my
Speaker 1: body straight to them and I'm like, happy fay anyway?
Speaker 1: Can they keep walking towards And then they stop and
Speaker 1: they turn and they give it to Kishra Night and
Speaker 1: We're like what, how does anyone know it's up birthday?
Speaker 3: Also, you're like sing along. It just got louder and
Speaker 3: louder and louder.
Speaker 4: I actually ended up getting a video of this because
Speaker 4: there is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than when
Speaker 4: the whole whole place is looking at you. And it
Speaker 4: was worse because we thought it was for someone else,
Speaker 4: so we were clapping.
Speaker 3: Along, so embarrassing.
Speaker 1: We were tambourining along to this other couple behind us
Speaker 1: and they looked confused, but I was like, well, there's
Speaker 1: no one else here, so I was like.
Speaker 3: Leaning into it.
Speaker 2: That's kind of funny that some people find that the
Speaker 2: most embarrassing thing, Like that's the same Matt hates it
Speaker 2: when a restaurant sings, and I'm like, it's quite joyful.
Speaker 4: I don't know what everybody, you can't sing to yourself,
Speaker 4: but I get along in this situation. We kind of
Speaker 4: could almost get away with it because it was both
Speaker 4: of ours. But I don't think the restaurant knew that
Speaker 4: because everything was booked under Brit.
Speaker 3: It was even funnier.
Speaker 4: I got a video of this, so this is what
Speaker 4: it sounded like. And what was put down in front
Speaker 4: of Brit was the funniest thing I have ever seen.
Speaker 4: Usually it will be like a cupcake or maybe a
Speaker 4: dessert or something like something sweet to celebrate a birthdate.
Speaker 4: What was placed in front of Brit was two thick
Speaker 4: slices of cucumber with a only in the middle that had.
Speaker 3: A candle in it. Two slices of cucumber. I've got
Speaker 3: a birthday cucumber and I read rose. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think if you've ever on the podcast
Speaker 2: talked about your love of cucumbers before, But nothing's coming.
Speaker 3: I'm drawing a blame. I think it was like a.
Speaker 1: Side accompaniment accompaniment. It was so strange because it was
Speaker 1: side what accompaniment?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that sounds so weird. Accompaniment. It doesn't come
Speaker 3: out well. But Laura thought I made a word up.
Speaker 1: I got a drink as well, but I got a
Speaker 1: It was a birthday cocktail with a birthday cucumber. I've
Speaker 1: never received a birthday care.
Speaker 3: It wasn't in a whole cucumber. Budget cuts. It was
Speaker 3: a slide in Bali, the economy these days.
Speaker 1: But anyway, that opened up the conversation with this table
Speaker 1: whose birthday we thought it was.
Speaker 3: So we were like a ha ha, we thought it
Speaker 3: was yours. That's why we were singing haha.
Speaker 1: And she goes, no, it's not my birthday, but I
Speaker 1: am getting engaged tonight, and she threw that to us.
Speaker 1: I thought she meant she got engaged, and I.
Speaker 3: Was congratulations, engaged, congratulations.
Speaker 1: She's like, no, I'm getting engaged, and she's not.
Speaker 3: We spring.
Speaker 1: This girl was a vibe right, Her energy was high.
Speaker 1: She obviously had a few drinks. She was beautiful, dressed
Speaker 1: to the nines. He was like very fit, working out,
Speaker 1: very tanned. He was very quiet. She was the leader,
Speaker 1: and so she was telling this big story about how
Speaker 1: they were getting engaged, and he was just like he
Speaker 1: had a smirk on his face, but silent. And she
Speaker 1: was telling everyone and.
Speaker 3: She's like, no, it's happening tonight.
Speaker 1: I said, oh, you know that, like like you talked
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: I like the confidence of this girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so she started to tell us this whole thing.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, yes, I've picked the ring. I designed
Speaker 1: it myself. It's yellow, diamond's got these diamonds ryning a
Speaker 1: band like. She described the whole thing to us, and
Speaker 1: she goes, also, I said, maybe it won't happen tonight,
Speaker 1: you know, like maybe I was trying to like give
Speaker 1: her some suspense, and she.
Speaker 3: Goes, no, it is.
Speaker 1: We've driven a long way to get here tonight, and
Speaker 1: I've seen the ring in his back. She's like, this
Speaker 1: shit is going down tonight. And she's saying this in
Speaker 1: front of her hopefully now fiance and said, this is
Speaker 1: what I'm losing sleep about. I don't know if they
Speaker 1: got engaged and I they were Australian. There's got to
Speaker 1: be someone that listens to this podcast that knows the
Speaker 1: couple I'm talking about and can fine them. That's what
Speaker 1: I want to do. I want to do that old school,
Speaker 1: track them down and find who they are.
Speaker 2: We were talking about this earlier and Keisha has never
Speaker 2: heard from this and it's blown my mind. Do you
Speaker 2: guys remember on the train, like back in the day,
Speaker 2: used to get magazines when you'd get on the train
Speaker 2: back in ride Ay, it was like a magazine that
Speaker 2: you would get. Maybe it was a Sydney thing, but
Speaker 2: there was a column in the magazine that was like
Speaker 2: missed love Opportunities and it was I saw you standing
Speaker 2: on platform two heading to Ingodeen station. You were wearing
Speaker 2: blue pants. Our eyes met for one minute whatever one second.
Speaker 3: Then you bought it. I feel like I've lost the
Speaker 3: love of my life. And then you reconnect.
Speaker 2: This is this, this is this, But you look so confused, Keisha,
Speaker 2: You've never heard of this.
Speaker 3: I just like, really, we have a couple of years
Speaker 3: between us.
Speaker 4: I think I've got sixty's with you in seven years
Speaker 4: with you, Laura, and usually we have the same generational things.
Speaker 3: But every now and then there's a gap, and this
Speaker 3: is one of those gaps.
Speaker 4: What are you talking?
Speaker 2: He now take photos and post it on Facebook and
Speaker 2: say have you seen this person?
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they hunt them down. It's just the old
Speaker 3: school way. But I saw this happen a couple of
Speaker 3: years ago.
Speaker 1: Actually it was like a nod to this old magazine.
Speaker 3: But there was a girl that did it in Sydney.
Speaker 1: But she printed out flyers and she stuck them on
Speaker 1: to telegraph poles.
Speaker 3: That's too creepy. I think it's cute.
Speaker 4: Nah, that's too far the fine line between creepy and romantic. No,
Speaker 4: but if you think.
Speaker 1: About it, back to this magazine, which funny that you
Speaker 1: don't remember. It was a whole thing. And I don't
Speaker 1: think it was just sitting law. I think this was
Speaker 1: just you could do it to find anyone anywhere.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I used to look at it every week, hoping
Speaker 3: that someone might have put me in there. No one did.
Speaker 3: I just want to know I still have it. I
Speaker 3: ever had it. You did have it.
Speaker 1: You probably didn't get the train enough.
Speaker 3: No, I got the train every day. That's why I
Speaker 3: read it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, wait to rub it in Brittany.
Speaker 3: She just writes her own column in do they ever
Speaker 3: do follow ups? Do they ever?
Speaker 4: Kind of in the magazine if people actually did meet?
Speaker 2: Oh, that was another column where people like, you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes it never worked out.
Speaker 3: Contents really evolved, hasn't it Well it hasn't.
Speaker 1: It's the same, but we just do it on a
Speaker 1: different pun intended platform. Like it's the same thing. People
Speaker 1: do that all the time on Facebook and Instagram, Like
Speaker 1: it's a cuteesee thing, like looking for this person, how
Speaker 1: can I track them down? Like Brittany is losing sleep. Well,
Speaker 1: I just want to know if he committed to it
Speaker 1: or if because she was so certain of telling everyone,
Speaker 1: if he was like I'm going to do a flippy
Speaker 1: one eighty and make away a few days.
Speaker 3: That's what I want to know.
Speaker 4: Interesting, do you guys think that, I mean, because I'm
Speaker 4: not engaged, I've never been engaged. Do you think the
Speaker 4: surprise element adds to it? Or do you think it
Speaker 4: doesn't really matter, Like you're still so overjoyed by the
Speaker 4: fact it's happened that you don't care whether it was
Speaker 4: a surprise or not.
Speaker 1: I got the impression she could not care less it
Speaker 1: was happening that night, Like I have the impression.
Speaker 3: That if he didn't drop the knees, she probably would have.
Speaker 3: I want to be surprised person.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I was surprised has happened. I'm not
Speaker 1: getting engaged again, but like I would have preferred if
Speaker 1: I had the choice to have surprise, for sure.
Speaker 3: I think it depends on the relationship.
Speaker 2: Some people hate surprises and they are more in terms
Speaker 2: of like one in control, and therefore they know when
Speaker 2: it's going to happen, they know how it's going to happen.
Speaker 2: Other people have picked the ring, they know what's going
Speaker 2: to happen, but they don't know exactly the way the
Speaker 2: person's going to propose. Like, I don't know. I think
Speaker 2: there's many variations from it, and if it is good
Speaker 2: for that couple, then I don't really have an opinion
Speaker 2: on it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Truly, I actually am a bit interested by the fact that,
Speaker 4: like whether the surprise element of a proposal matters at
Speaker 4: all to some people. I think for some it would.
Speaker 4: I think it would be pretty personal. But I guess
Speaker 4: if you're the type of person who likes to kind
Speaker 4: of have your ducks in a row, if you're a planner,
Speaker 4: if you're a bit type A, you might actually prefer to.
Speaker 3: Know when and how and have a little bit more
Speaker 3: control over the situation.
Speaker 2: Well, I think, on top of that, if on the
Speaker 2: flip side, if you discovered the ring, if you knew
Speaker 2: that your partner was going to propose, did you pretend
Speaker 2: like you didn't know, yes, or did you or did
Speaker 2: you tell them like did you say hey, like sorry
Speaker 2: to foil your plans.
Speaker 3: But I should have hit that a bit better. But
Speaker 3: I mean, do you play along with the surprise? Yes,
Speaker 3: Andy alone, but if you play along, do you have
Speaker 3: to be like oh shock? Like how much do you
Speaker 3: play along?
Speaker 1: You commit your method act the whole way along, and
Speaker 1: you never tell them you knew until it's like your
Speaker 1: fiftieth anniversary.
Speaker 2: I was convinced, Like I was not convinced, but I
Speaker 2: was pretty sure Matt was going to propose when he
Speaker 2: did on that holiday because.
Speaker 3: We went to Fiji. I was pregnant at the time.
Speaker 3: There was a tripod set up.
Speaker 2: Well, I'd pick a fight with him a couple of
Speaker 2: weeks earlier over a hidden album in his phone, and
Speaker 2: then I found out from his sister. His sister was like,
Speaker 2: he's doing something nice for you. Fucking stop it. You
Speaker 2: were about to ruin your own surprise because I was
Speaker 2: like nagging him at the dinner.
Speaker 3: Table anyway, have been deep driving his phone.
Speaker 2: So then no, he was showing me something. And then
Speaker 2: I could see that he had hidden an album and
Speaker 2: I was like, what is that?
Speaker 3: I was like, show me the nudesw the Bachelorette can
Speaker 3: time was really traumatized from past relationships.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so I was convinced it was going to
Speaker 2: happen because I was like, well, the only really nice
Speaker 2: thing he could be doing where he's hiding an album
Speaker 2: of things is either he's cheating on me or he's proposing.
Speaker 3: There's nothing between.
Speaker 2: And when he actually did do it, I was still
Speaker 2: really surprised, but that's because he just started crying and
Speaker 2: didn't actually verbalize words, so I thought he was going
Speaker 2: to tell me some terrible news.
Speaker 3: He just cried.
Speaker 2: He just he didn't even He just stood there, looked
Speaker 2: at me and started crying, and I was like, are
Speaker 2: you terminally ill?
Speaker 3: Like what's happening? And then the response I wanted sorry,
Speaker 3: was he on one knee or not?
Speaker 2: No, he just stood there and started crying, and I
Speaker 2: was like, what the fuck is happening?
Speaker 3: And you're okay.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm pregnant, I'm hormone all and then
Speaker 2: he popped down and his knee touched the sand for
Speaker 2: half a second and he popped back up like he
Speaker 2: was doing some sort of burfi and I was so confused.
Speaker 3: He still have the video. I wish I did. No,
Speaker 3: I made him get down again for a second time.
Speaker 3: I was like, do do with purpose? That's actually something
Speaker 3: I have.
Speaker 4: I know people don't actually play the divorce now, which
Speaker 4: is a little bit of a grim ending to this story.
Speaker 4: But I found out that the next day they went
Speaker 4: back and.
Speaker 3: Did a pretend. No, that's not okay.
Speaker 4: So because like, he didn't set up a photographer, he
Speaker 4: didn't set up a camera and nothing. So the next
Speaker 4: day they went back and.
Speaker 3: Got the shop. No, that's so Matt did set up
Speaker 3: a go pro.
Speaker 2: I mean, he loves content, but I was like, why
Speaker 2: did you set up a GoPro to start crying? Go
Speaker 2: pro strapped to his chest, I looks straight at you.
Speaker 3: That was when GoPros is a fish. I only like
Speaker 3: you would have just looked like this big ship. If
Speaker 3: there's one.
Speaker 1: Thing, if anyone can take away from anything from this,
Speaker 1: you have to set up a camera. You have to
Speaker 1: get someone to take a photo of that moment. And
Speaker 1: I know it might not mean anything to you, but
Speaker 1: one day you're gonna want to look back on it,
Speaker 1: or she's gonna want to remember it. So that's my advice, Like,
Speaker 1: set up a camera, not a go pro strapped your head.
Speaker 4: I don't think that my boyfriend would do that. I
Speaker 4: do not think he would want play him this.
Speaker 2: I also think it's dependent. Some people want it and
Speaker 2: some people don't. I know that it's important to you,
Speaker 2: but there would definitely be women out there. He could
Speaker 2: not care if they get it captured or not.
Speaker 3: No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I disagree even if they think that they don't care.
Speaker 1: In five years, I'll be like, I wish I had
Speaker 1: that moment. That's that's the whole point of photographs.
Speaker 3: I guess you do still have the choe. Whether you
Speaker 3: have it, you don't have to post it publicly.
Speaker 1: It's the last funny part of this that we forgot
Speaker 1: to say was that there was after she told us
Speaker 1: it was happening tonight, like and now we're at this
Speaker 1: romantic dinner.
Speaker 3: She turned around to us and she goes, can one
Speaker 3: of you guys take a photo of us? And Keish
Speaker 3: was closed, so she was like, yeah, yeah, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: So she hands to the phone, but she's she's secretly
Speaker 1: put the phone on video and giving it to Keisha.
Speaker 1: So the video was running, so Keisha's.
Speaker 4: Torchas on rose so quickly in my body because I
Speaker 4: was like, okay, we've just had the information of the
Speaker 4: fact that she thinks she's getting engaged tonight. She knows
Speaker 4: it's happening. She's told us all about the ring. Hees
Speaker 4: kind of laughing. She's just handed me a phone on record.
Speaker 4: I was hitting bricks. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: I have to get it's right. I have to get
Speaker 4: writ and make sure it's recording. Make sure it's recording,
Speaker 4: make sure it's a good angle, make sure the lighting's okay.
Speaker 4: So I'm standing there filming the two of them, expecting
Speaker 4: that he's about to propose, and I was like, Wow,
Speaker 4: what an honor.
Speaker 3: I'm filming these people's proposal.
Speaker 1: Because they start to kiss and she's she's prepped to
Speaker 1: hair and like, you know, she's she's peacocking.
Speaker 3: She was, yeah, it just didn't happen. So how long
Speaker 3: did you record?
Speaker 4: Forty seconds until I was like I didn't know where
Speaker 4: to keep going. I didn't know whether I just I
Speaker 4: was like, do you know what she probably actually meant
Speaker 4: to give it to you on photo and now she's
Speaker 4: just can't got no photo.
Speaker 3: She's just got a minute long video of them.
Speaker 4: Possibly, but I think she was prepping that in case
Speaker 4: it happened anyway, I just didn't know when to I
Speaker 4: didn't know when to stop, and so I was kind
Speaker 4: of just awkwardly standing there for longer than what I
Speaker 4: would deem to be a normal amount of time that
Speaker 4: you would record another couple.
Speaker 2: Imagine the fact that those two would have had when
Speaker 2: they got back to the hotel if he didn't propose.
Speaker 2: Imagine the kickoff. Yes, at least she's got, you know,
Speaker 2: enough content to make a.
Speaker 3: Reel out of it. Someone find her, please tell me.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get into vibes and unsubscribes. Bretonnair, Harklair,
Speaker 2: What is your vibe?
Speaker 1: My vibe this week is a Netflix doc Oh, you
Speaker 1: guys know I love a true crime documentary. You've probably
Speaker 1: seen it because it's it pops up every time you
Speaker 1: go onto net fl, you know how it's like suggested
Speaker 1: obviously they're really pushing it. But it's the American murder
Speaker 1: Lacey Peterson. And if you remember, it was very very
Speaker 1: big news. But she was like heavily pregnant with her baby,
Speaker 1: their first baby when she went missing, and her husband
Speaker 1: was on the search with them. There were you know,
Speaker 1: all these candlelight ceremonies, and that was searching all over
Speaker 1: the state, and he was doing all of these talks
Speaker 1: to the media, like begging her to come home and
Speaker 1: whatever else like that, and it was very heart wrenching.
Speaker 1: And then it turned out that Scott, the husband, was
Speaker 1: the person that murdered her. He was having this affair,
Speaker 1: and that's not a spoiler. Like the documentary sort of
Speaker 1: owns the fact and everyone knows that story, but it's
Speaker 1: a story that most people know really well. And it
Speaker 1: was I mean, I don't want to say, I don't
Speaker 1: know what the word is. I was gonna say it
Speaker 1: was nice to watch it play out in a documentary.
Speaker 1: Nice isn't the word, but to see it be brought
Speaker 1: to life in a way and get that inside a look.
Speaker 1: I mean, I always vibe true crime stuff to you guys.
Speaker 3: You know, I love it.
Speaker 1: But that's my vibe.
Speaker 3: So it's easy to watch.
Speaker 1: It's three episodes and it's on Netflix.
Speaker 4: I also watched this and I thought it was really nice.
Speaker 4: Apparently it was one of the first times that Lacey's
Speaker 4: mum has spoken to the media, and interestingly, he has
Speaker 4: always said that he's innocent, so he was on death row,
Speaker 4: and I think it was in twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: The docuseries said, yeah.
Speaker 4: That he was taken off of that and now he's
Speaker 4: just got like an extended life sentence or something. I
Speaker 4: don't really know the ins and outs of the wise,
Speaker 4: but it was kind of weird to see just how
Speaker 4: emotionless he was, you know, because they had all this
Speaker 4: documentary style filming from the news and all that kind
Speaker 4: of thing of him.
Speaker 3: He did all these interviews is robody.
Speaker 4: It almost seemed a little bit like gone goal, but
Speaker 4: just the first half, you know, and it was weird
Speaker 4: to see how he could have done something so so
Speaker 4: unthinkable and so horrific and then face up to the
Speaker 4: cameras and act as though he was a victim.
Speaker 3: It was creepy, but that's also normal for sociopaths.
Speaker 1: Those kinds of people aren't like they're not their emotions
Speaker 1: aren't regulated, you know.
Speaker 4: I don't usually like true crime for me, it's a
Speaker 4: little bit like just too full on, but this.
Speaker 3: Goes to home.
Speaker 2: I find it fascinating, but also it really does make
Speaker 2: you question like humanity.
Speaker 4: My vibe for this week is it's actually an online
Speaker 4: pilates platform, So I am thinking of this because it
Speaker 4: was brought up in the Facebook group. Someone posted through
Speaker 4: the week that they were looking for something that they
Speaker 4: could do at home, some exercise they could do at
Speaker 4: home that was like easy entry. And I myself have
Speaker 4: gone through this period in the last couple of months.
Speaker 3: I have just been so not motivated to exercise. I
Speaker 3: don't know what's going on.
Speaker 4: But it's that thing you know in your head when
Speaker 4: you're like, I know I should be doing this, but God,
Speaker 4: I cannot be bothered.
Speaker 3: And right now that's been me for five years, I feel.
Speaker 4: So This particular one is called House of sculpt Nicole
Speaker 4: and Sasha who own it. They're both expallerinas and they've
Speaker 4: done ted talks about toxic fitness culture that prays on
Speaker 4: our insecurities, and so the morals behind this business are
Speaker 4: really really good, and it's very much in line with
Speaker 4: being strong. It's not about changing your body for the
Speaker 4: way it looks. It's about changing yourself so that you
Speaker 4: feel better about yourself. And all of their workouts are
Speaker 4: created around that. We've got all these different types of pilates.
Speaker 4: They start from like twenty minute sessions to fifty minute
Speaker 4: It changes every day. They've also got yoga. The yoga
Speaker 4: instructor they have is French and really really hot, so that's.
Speaker 3: Bonus smart marketing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and so they've actually got like a physical
Speaker 4: studio that they do classes, but they do the online
Speaker 4: as well, and they have a week free trial. I've
Speaker 4: just checked out on their website. Their memberships start from
Speaker 4: thirty five dollars per month, so that's like eight dollars
Speaker 4: seventy five per week. So I think it's really affordable,
Speaker 4: very easy access. You just you don't really need anything.
Speaker 4: You just need a matt at home. So yeah, House
Speaker 4: of sculpt is my reco for the week.
Speaker 2: So Laura, Well, I'll find some excuses as to why
Speaker 2: I should, but you know, great for everyone else. My
Speaker 2: recommendation is something that is going very viral on TikTok.
Speaker 2: At the moment, I hadn't heard of this series, but
Speaker 2: it was the first release. The very first season of
Speaker 2: it is from twenty nineteen. It's called Couple's Therapy, and
Speaker 2: in the last couple of weeks I have seen so
Speaker 2: much of it on TikTok. That's because season four has
Speaker 2: just come out. But also call Her Daddy interviewed the therapist.
Speaker 2: Her name is Auna gla Nik recently and that's also
Speaker 2: why it's kind of been thrown into the stratosphere. But
Speaker 2: if you're interested in watching it, it is on SBS
Speaker 2: on demand.
Speaker 3: All the seasons are there.
Speaker 2: Obviously it's free to watch it there as well, but
Speaker 2: it is absolutely fascinating. So it is a reality TV
Speaker 2: show where real couples sit down in a therapy room
Speaker 2: and discuss their issues with this couple's therapist. And I
Speaker 2: think in a time where we see so much contrived
Speaker 2: drama through reality TV, it's really refreshing but also almost
Speaker 2: unbelievable that these couples would come and be so vulnerable
Speaker 2: in a format where they know it's going to end
Speaker 2: up being created for entertainment.
Speaker 1: But like really publicly airing your dirty laundering totally.
Speaker 2: And I got super interested in it because of the
Speaker 2: TikTok shot. They are so obviously real issues that these
Speaker 2: couples are unpacking.
Speaker 3: They are very emotional.
Speaker 2: I don't know how to describe it, but like quite
Speaker 2: intense clips that are on TikTok, which is what made
Speaker 2: me go and like check out the season and I
Speaker 2: would love for us to unpack it more thoroughly, because
Speaker 2: even though I'm finding it fascinating, I don't know how
Speaker 2: I feel about this voyeurism into people's relationships. The only
Speaker 2: thing I can compare it to is Esther Perell has
Speaker 2: a podcast where she interviews people and she does a
Speaker 2: one on one therapy session with them. But the thing
Speaker 2: about those therapy sessions is that they're anonymous, so you
Speaker 2: have the insight into their relationships, but you don't know
Speaker 2: who the person is, whereas in this they're not anonymous,
Speaker 2: but they're still talking so deeply and intimately about their relationships.
Speaker 2: Facinating sps on demand. It's called Couple's Therapy, and there's
Speaker 2: four seasons of it. The episodes are only around twenty
Speaker 2: seven minutes long, so it's very easy to consume.
Speaker 4: It's so interesting talking about that type of environment because
Speaker 4: the desire to fix whatever's wrong in your relationship must
Speaker 4: be so yeah great that you're willing to have the
Speaker 4: world know you're like, truthfully, I don't think you could
Speaker 4: torture that out of me. Their desire to fix their
Speaker 4: relationship must be the most important.
Speaker 3: Thing to them that they don't care about anonymity.
Speaker 2: Or alternatively, they both think they're so right, Yeah, they
Speaker 2: both think that they're so in the right that they
Speaker 2: don't feel ashamed or worried about going and having these
Speaker 2: conversations because they are like, well, I'm the one who's
Speaker 2: in the right, so this is just going to be
Speaker 2: bad for my partner.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Every single issue is different and every single couple is different,
Speaker 2: so there's not really like a one mold fits all
Speaker 2: kind of situation here.
Speaker 3: But it's fucking fascinated.
Speaker 2: I think as people, we love seeing inside other people's relationships.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think people also, like, don't underestimate the fact
Speaker 1: that people also like to be on reality TV. Like
Speaker 1: there'd be couples that would just want to be on
Speaker 1: TV and be like, this could be a show we
Speaker 1: could do as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's theirs. It's wild.
Speaker 2: Anyway, my recommendation for the week, let's get into the questions. Okay,
Speaker 2: Question one. Just over two years ago, I was getting
Speaker 2: ready for bed one night when I got a notification
Speaker 2: on Messenger for a message request from someone I did
Speaker 2: not recognize. I decided to open the message, and it
Speaker 2: said I just thought you would like to know what
Speaker 2: your mother has been up too lately, followed by a
Speaker 2: nude image of my mum and a screenshot of her
Speaker 2: text exchange between her and this person's husband. I was
Speaker 2: shocked and hoped that she hadn't sent these to any
Speaker 2: other of my siblings, as this is what would break
Speaker 2: me the most. I ignored the messages as much as
Speaker 2: I could, until my youngest brother called me in hysterics,
Speaker 2: telling me what he had just received, the same message
Speaker 2: that I had. When I had consoled my brother enough
Speaker 2: and was able to collect my own emotions, I decided
Speaker 2: to really read the text that had been exchanged. There
Speaker 2: was a week where she visited him in his hometown
Speaker 2: on her week off.
Speaker 3: I looked at the dates and it all hit me again.
Speaker 2: She was meant to come visit me that week and
Speaker 2: my newborn into state, but said that she had COVID
Speaker 2: and had to stay where she was his hometown. As
Speaker 2: terrible as I've feel for my mum's partner, this is
Speaker 2: what shook me the most. She used me and my
Speaker 2: child as a reason to go where she was going,
Speaker 2: just to inconveniently get COVID and not be able to
Speaker 2: travel any further. She used us to cheat, and it
Speaker 2: makes me feel sick. Ever since I found this out.
Speaker 2: I haven't been able to be the same around her.
Speaker 2: I haven't told her how I feel or how I know.
Speaker 2: I haven't told her partner either. It's all been an
Speaker 2: unspoken thing between me and my brother, but I feel
Speaker 2: as though we can't be the same towards her. I
Speaker 2: am also so mad at this woman for sending me
Speaker 2: these explicit things, as if it was payback to my mum.
Speaker 2: Why punish us and make us bear the weight of
Speaker 2: it all?
Speaker 3: Anyway?
Speaker 2: My question here is my mum and her partner are
Speaker 2: still together now, they have had no bumps in sight.
Speaker 3: Do I tell my mom that I know? Do I
Speaker 3: tell her partner?
Speaker 2: Or with it being over two years ago since this
Speaker 2: all happened, do I just go to a top notch
Speaker 2: therapist to deal with it myself?
Speaker 3: This is so fucked.
Speaker 1: So the messages that she received were from the husband's
Speaker 1: wife that were having the affair, So all right, So
Speaker 1: there's been an affair. The wife's found out.
Speaker 3: And sent the nudes to the childrenaughter, and that's children.
Speaker 1: That a so wrong, like to involve somebody's child or
Speaker 1: children that you do not know. Is I want to
Speaker 1: give her the benefit of the doubt and think that
Speaker 1: she was obviously so deep in like the depths of
Speaker 1: despair to do that. But that's I mean, that's giving
Speaker 1: her a lot of credit.
Speaker 2: No, I think people do awful things when when they've
Speaker 2: found out that they're being cheated on and they are
Speaker 2: absolutely beside themselves and they want to enact revenge. I
Speaker 2: don't think she's thinking about how this would impact. Also,
Speaker 2: when you say child, she's clearly an adult. She's got
Speaker 2: kids herself. She was clearly just trying to make as
Speaker 2: much damage as what she feels is being caused to
Speaker 2: her relationship.
Speaker 1: If youngest brother sounds young.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think youngest brother doesn't necessarily mean
Speaker 2: it still has to be a child, do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? I think that they are all adults.
Speaker 2: She hasn't sent it to a nude to a child,
Speaker 2: is my impression. But I'm not saying that it's the
Speaker 2: right thing. But I'm saying like she was obviously in
Speaker 2: a very fucking sad place where she felt like this
Speaker 2: was the only way that she could kind of, you know,
Speaker 2: balance the score a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not sure it matters how old you are.
Speaker 1: You never want to receive anod of your mum. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if you're twenty thirty, forty, fifty sixty.
Speaker 3: It's also illegal. It's still a type of revenge porn.
Speaker 3: I'm sending that on one.
Speaker 1: Hundred percent, I would be having the conversation with my
Speaker 1: mum because all that's going to happen. There's obviously a divide.
Speaker 1: It's been two years, like you said, but you are
Speaker 1: non stop thinking about it. You can't be completely comfortable
Speaker 1: around your mom. You can't trust her. This is just
Speaker 1: going to keep pushing your part more and more like
Speaker 1: all that happens is your festus. So you may as
Speaker 1: well sit down and have that conversation anyway you want.
Speaker 1: I would suggest very calmly, but I would just say, hey,
Speaker 1: this has been really bothering me, and I think you
Speaker 1: deserve to know. A you'd also deserve to know that
Speaker 1: your nudes are right there. God knows where else she
Speaker 1: sent them.
Speaker 2: I would say, if she sent them to you, she
Speaker 2: absolutely also sent them to your mum and probably said
Speaker 2: to your mom, I'm sending these to your kids. How
Speaker 2: are they going to respond to this? There is a
Speaker 2: good chance that your mum already has lived in fear
Speaker 2: that you have received these and was just hopeful that
Speaker 2: you didn't, because I would think that if this woman
Speaker 2: was trying to go for mass impact and mass damage,
Speaker 2: if she sent them to you, she absolutely sent them
Speaker 2: to your mum, like that is well known. I guess
Speaker 2: My thing is is like I always I'm always shocked,
Speaker 2: and I shouldn't be, but I'm always shocked.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter how old.
Speaker 2: You are, people still continue to make absolutely terrible decisions
Speaker 2: in their relationships. And just because they're are parents doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that they have it all figured out. They behave
Speaker 2: in ways that may shock us when it comes to
Speaker 2: how they navigate their own relationships. Does it change the
Speaker 2: person that they are. Does it change the quality of
Speaker 2: the person that we thought they were. No, it just
Speaker 2: means that, like everyone is fundamentally fucked up in many
Speaker 2: many ways, and parents can do things that as children,
Speaker 2: we would never expect because you know, they've always they've
Speaker 2: always presented themselves to be one version to us, and
Speaker 2: as parents, you only see that version of them. You
Speaker 2: don't see all of the fractures that actually make them human.
Speaker 1: Because the parent's job is to make you feel, as
Speaker 1: a child, like they have their shit figured out.
Speaker 3: That's what I do. They ever do. They're just humans,
Speaker 3: They're just just people. But the people with kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And look, I think the person in this who
Speaker 2: is definitely it's the worst situation for is your mum's partner.
Speaker 2: I would not be going and speaking to your mum's partner.
Speaker 2: It's not your place too. If your mum wants to,
Speaker 2: that's her place. I would be speaking to my mum though,
Speaker 2: because I think at the moment your relationship is so
Speaker 2: fractured by this whole thing that's happened. It's changed the
Speaker 2: way that you feel about your mum. You sitting down
Speaker 2: and having an honest conversation with her, her reaction to that,
Speaker 2: her explaining maybe what was going on in her relation
Speaker 2: to the time, Who knows. I'm not saying that she
Speaker 2: will have an excuse that will be of value to you,
Speaker 2: but it is an opportunity for you to repair the relationship,
Speaker 2: explaining to her that you know and how you feel
Speaker 2: about it. And it just means that she has time
Speaker 2: to process that and to talk to you about it.
Speaker 2: She may have been living the past two years with
Speaker 2: this fear that you know and you didn't say anything.
Speaker 3: That's also a very real possibility as well.
Speaker 1: And I'm not in defense of anybody here, but there's
Speaker 1: always two to three sides to a story. So you
Speaker 1: don't know, we don't know exactly what was happening in
Speaker 1: your parents' relationship, and you don't know what her reason's worse.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's her dad.
Speaker 2: I think it's she says partner quite a bit in
Speaker 2: this question, So like, I think it's not her parents' relationship.
Speaker 3: I think it's her boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, but I just think there's always multiple sides,
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't be making I mean, you shouldn't be
Speaker 1: having these feelings in the judgment until you know the
Speaker 1: whole story, and then once you have all the information,
Speaker 1: you can make an educated decision on how you feel
Speaker 1: and where you should go from there. But it's also
Speaker 1: your mom, Like you should be able to sit down
Speaker 1: and have that conversation.
Speaker 3: Is it going to be awkward as fuck?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, mom, I saw your nudes, But like, also
Speaker 1: think how horrible your mom would be feeling. I am
Speaker 1: defending her, Actually I'm not defending what she did, but
Speaker 1: it's a horrible feeling to think that somebody has sent
Speaker 1: your nudes around to God knows who and that for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, you know, like that is that is a horrific,
Speaker 1: humiliating feeling. And it doesn't matter if you're twenty or fifty,
Speaker 1: the feeling is the same.
Speaker 2: So I know that like cheating is so insidious, that's
Speaker 2: everybody that's the problem. And this may be something that
Speaker 2: her partner has no idea that it ever happened. He
Speaker 2: may be aware. I understand though, that this part of
Speaker 2: it that's probably more hurtful is the fact that you
Speaker 2: had plans to see your mom that week, like she
Speaker 2: had every intention to come and visit you that then
Speaker 2: used you as a scapegoat, and she lied to you
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 3: That's like a whole other part.
Speaker 2: Here, because not only did her cheating affect her partner,
Speaker 2: but it also directly affected you. She lied to you,
Speaker 2: And I just think that your opinions of your mum
Speaker 2: will never be fixed, like you will never get to
Speaker 2: a place where you wholeheartedly trust her or are able
Speaker 2: to have the same love and respect for her. If
Speaker 2: you don't have a conversation about this, you know who
Speaker 2: knows that this may have and will affect your relationship
Speaker 2: for a long time, or it may be something that
Speaker 2: you guys can work through, but you won't know unless you.
Speaker 3: Talk to her. That's so shit, so shit.
Speaker 1: What would you do?
Speaker 3: What would you do if some red my mom and
Speaker 3: dad just would never do that?
Speaker 2: What would you do if someone was like, Hey, look
Speaker 2: at what Nick's been up to, and all of a
Speaker 2: sudden you received a nude of your mom.
Speaker 1: I'd be like on fire, mom, No, I would I
Speaker 1: would have that conversation with my mom for sure. But
Speaker 1: my first and this is when you just put that
Speaker 1: to me, that situation. To me, my first thought was
Speaker 1: not about the affair, but to protect my mom that
Speaker 1: her nudes were going around. That was my immediate first
Speaker 1: thought was like, fuck, my mom's having nudes center around
Speaker 1: And then I would deal with the rest later. But
Speaker 1: I mean, everyone's going to react differently.
Speaker 2: I think my first thought would be like, what's happened, Mom?
Speaker 3: Like what's going on? You know?
Speaker 2: Like this, this doesn't seem like behavior that I would
Speaker 2: expect from you, Like what is happening. It's so hard
Speaker 2: because cheating is like the one thing that every time
Speaker 2: we answer it, people have such divided opinions and some
Speaker 2: people cannot forgive like the act of cheating and some
Speaker 2: people can. So it's not black and white. It's very gray,
Speaker 2: and people have very fucking strong opinions on it.
Speaker 1: Question number two. My partner and I recently took our
Speaker 1: two year old daughter on her first family holiday. We
Speaker 1: all stayed in the same room with two queen beds.
Speaker 1: She slept in her own bed and I slept with
Speaker 1: my partner. My partner wanted to have sex on the
Speaker 1: holiday and would always make jokes like what are you
Speaker 1: doing later, which is basically just him shooting his shop.
Speaker 1: But my mindset was, how can you have sex when
Speaker 1: your child is sleeping legitimately no more than one meter
Speaker 1: away from you in the same room. Don't you think
Speaker 1: that's strange? I guess my question is, are people having
Speaker 1: sex on holidays in the same room as their kids?
Speaker 1: Is this a thing? Because it makes me cringe? But
Speaker 1: is it also fine if she's asleep and doesn't know.
Speaker 2: I think it's an age thing. Like I'm the age too,
Speaker 2: I'm not having sex in front of my kids at two?
Speaker 3: Okay, well she's two.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I And when I say that, I mean like,
Speaker 2: obviously they're asleep. No one's wow, it's this is this
Speaker 2: is gone to get some people angry when kids are
Speaker 2: newborns and they're in a bassinet next to your bed
Speaker 2: and they're, you know, six months old, and we all
Speaker 2: know they're never going to retain a memory and they're asleep.
Speaker 3: I don't have an issue with that.
Speaker 2: If they are walking, talking, can recite what they've seen,
Speaker 2: have memories.
Speaker 3: That is too old for me.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I think it's too old because you're hoping
Speaker 2: that they don't wake up, but they might wake up.
Speaker 2: And everyone's kids are different, but my kids are always
Speaker 2: getting in bed with us, so.
Speaker 1: I also kids pretend to be a sleep a lot.
Speaker 2: Like Yeah, I just I wouldn't be risking that situation
Speaker 2: with a two year old or two and a half
Speaker 2: year old or whatever it is.
Speaker 3: And we've been in this situation lows. We've got two kids.
Speaker 2: We often go on holidays and both of them are
Speaker 2: sleeping in the same room.
Speaker 3: So do you have sex on holidays? No.
Speaker 2: We never book a one bedroom place anymore. We always
Speaker 2: book a two bedroom place, or we book a place
Speaker 2: that has a living area so that way we can
Speaker 2: transfer the kids into a different area so that we
Speaker 2: can still have adult time, which I know is annoying.
Speaker 3: Adult times we're so sex we.
Speaker 1: Can have adult cutters.
Speaker 3: But well, for two reasons.
Speaker 2: One because there's nothing more annoying than being a parent
Speaker 2: holiday where at seven pm at night, all the lights
Speaker 2: have to go off and.
Speaker 3: You've got to sit in the dark. You go on
Speaker 3: a holiday shocked. I'm shocked.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to parent.
Speaker 2: You spend all this money to go there, and then
Speaker 2: if you're all staying in the one room, when the
Speaker 2: kid goes to sleep at seven o'clock, you sit in
Speaker 2: the fucking dark.
Speaker 3: Can't you put an eyemask on them, like a silk
Speaker 3: ie mask?
Speaker 2: For hours, you just sit in the dark together on
Speaker 2: your phones, and then that's your night over.
Speaker 3: It's great, horrible.
Speaker 2: So that's why I recommend always get two rooms or
Speaker 2: like a room that has like a little lounge room area.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm shocked that you guys had a tiny room,
Speaker 2: which I understand. Like everyone's different. Also, you know, people
Speaker 2: go camping. There's all different types of things. Do I
Speaker 2: have sex when my kids are a meter away from me?
Speaker 3: No? I think no, just no.
Speaker 1: I think we said it at the start. If you're
Speaker 1: old enough, if your kid is old enough to remember
Speaker 1: and recite what they've seen, then it's probably too old
Speaker 1: or two year old questions, Well, yeah, like what's that?
Speaker 3: Why? Why are you doing it? Like a dog? I
Speaker 3: much if they wake up and they're like, wof too far.
Speaker 1: And we've had people writing before dead Set. We have
Speaker 1: had people writing before with questions around this, like their
Speaker 1: kid has seen them having sex, they're toddler or something.
Speaker 1: And the question was the one specifically that I'm recalling.
Speaker 1: The question was like my daughter said she heard daddy
Speaker 1: hurting me last night, because obviously she was moaning in ecstasy,
Speaker 1: but it was sex. But she the daughter, is like
Speaker 1: I saw something and I heard that was pain, and
Speaker 1: why is daddy doing that? And I'm just like you
Speaker 1: were just opening a can of worms that you don't need,
Speaker 1: Like surely you can keep it in your pants until
Speaker 1: you get home to a private room.
Speaker 2: I wonder how other moms would feel about this, because
Speaker 2: I would love to know, because I'm only answering this
Speaker 2: question off my own personal experience. I would say like
Speaker 2: under one is okay, like they're a baby, they're asleep,
Speaker 2: like one year old, sleep hard like they are asleep.
Speaker 2: But for me, two seems too old, so I would
Speaker 2: be so interested to know what other people think. I
Speaker 2: know I've said this couple of times recently, but if
Speaker 2: you're a child therapist, if you have.
Speaker 3: I really need a child therapist right now, slide into
Speaker 3: my DNS.
Speaker 2: I would love to know what you think is or
Speaker 2: isn't acceptable in your relationships, because I do think that
Speaker 2: people would have a slightly different opinion on this. It's
Speaker 2: a really tricky one, and I guess for me, it's
Speaker 2: just it's unnecessary because we're able to do it other
Speaker 2: times or in other places, or have a quickie in
Speaker 2: the shower when the kids having her day nap, like,
Speaker 2: just don't do it when they're asleep next to you.
Speaker 2: The only other thing I have like for us in
Speaker 2: our relationship, we used to always sleep naked, right Matt
Speaker 2: and I will never sleep naked anymore. He always sleeps
Speaker 2: with underwear on. He always sleeps with pants on, and
Speaker 2: that's because our kids get into our bed every night,
Speaker 2: and I think it is quite unusual. And I don't
Speaker 2: like it if parents sleep naked and then their kids get.
Speaker 3: Into bed with them. I'm like, that to me is weird.
Speaker 2: But you know, everyone does things differently, so not casting
Speaker 2: the judgment or maybe I am.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to get myself canceled by all the
Speaker 2: moms out there. Fucking moms are judged enough, so it's
Speaker 2: such a hard one.
Speaker 3: Well, there's no right and wrong for everyone too, it's
Speaker 3: not that there is when it comes from this shit.
Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, but not this Like everyone's different and everyone's
Speaker 1: gonna have a different opinion if it's one, eighteen months
Speaker 1: or two, like at the end of the day. So
Speaker 1: it's not for us to shoot on anyone. It's what
Speaker 1: you want to do is what you want to do.
Speaker 1: It might not be right for someone else, but there's
Speaker 1: always people that are. And like you said, Laura, this
Speaker 1: is my opinion because I'm a mom. I don't have
Speaker 1: any experience in this, Like this is just my thought.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't even know what a two year old looks like.
Speaker 2: You'd be like, I think it's four, I think it's eighteen,
Speaker 2: Maybe it's twelve months.
Speaker 1: That is not accurate. How are my children five and three?
Speaker 3: Good job?
Speaker 4: I know, Laura.
Speaker 3: What are their names? Uh? Lilo, Lilo Milo?
Speaker 1: And notice, okay, last question, I sold a tens machine,
Speaker 1: you know those labor machines on marketplace a few months
Speaker 1: ago for sixty dollars.
Speaker 3: Do you know what they are?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I used one, did you Yeah? I used it when
Speaker 3: I was a labor.
Speaker 1: I had originally purchased it as an ex higher machine,
Speaker 1: but did not use it for my labor as it
Speaker 1: was too fast. I had ten I did it, and
Speaker 1: it seemed to work fine to the best of my knowledge,
Speaker 1: up until I sold it. It had just sat in
Speaker 1: the pack and came in with a battery and it untouched,
Speaker 1: completely good to use. Before I sold it to the lady.
Speaker 1: I checked it again and it seemed to work fine
Speaker 1: still from what I knew, I was selling a secondhand
Speaker 1: item that was in good working condition, just as I
Speaker 1: had purchased it. She had told me she wanted a
Speaker 1: receipt for the item, and she had some trouble buying
Speaker 1: off marketplace before. I totally empathized with her, but I
Speaker 1: told her I can't provide a receipt for it. Now
Speaker 1: a few months have passed and she has contacted me
Speaker 1: saying that it was rubbish, It didn't work as it
Speaker 1: should and is not in good working order. It impacted
Speaker 1: her birth and her experience was horrendous.
Speaker 3: That was just birth that wasn't a TENS machine.
Speaker 1: I had sincerely apologized and explained my situation, but I
Speaker 1: know she's fishing for a refund. Do I refund her
Speaker 1: the money now that it's months later.
Speaker 3: Or do I just ignore her messages and move on?
Speaker 3: Ignore her messages and move on. Ignore them. That makes
Speaker 3: funny message.
Speaker 2: And she's like, my labor was horrific, And you're like, also,
Speaker 2: you bought a TENS machine. You test it when you
Speaker 2: buy it. You don't just test it during labor. You
Speaker 2: test and make sure that the thing, the item that
Speaker 2: you have purchased that is supposed to support you during
Speaker 2: labor actually functions. And if you've waited months until after
Speaker 2: you had the baby, then that's on you. If it
Speaker 2: didn't work in a way that you enjoyed it or
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, I use a TENS machine during
Speaker 2: my labor and I did fuck all.
Speaker 3: But I'm not asking for a refund for it, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So I would say politely respond and say, unfortunately, it
Speaker 2: has been months.
Speaker 3: You had quite a long time to test the machine.
Speaker 2: If you weren't happy with it, I would have happily
Speaker 2: given you a refund, but I'm not going to refund
Speaker 2: you after the time of which you required it, which
Speaker 2: is your labor.
Speaker 3: So the and then block and block and go. Don't
Speaker 3: have to block her. I can block that bitch her
Speaker 3: off at the knees. Please don't.
Speaker 2: She's just had a baby and she's just obviously very emotional.
Speaker 3: She's thinking about.
Speaker 1: How shit the labor was two months and now she's like,
Speaker 1: I know where to blame. The tens machine leress. So
Speaker 1: everyone knows and myself. It is supposed to like take
Speaker 1: pain away from the area and like refocus it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I mean, bush have one period pain. They
Speaker 3: have a period pain. One.
Speaker 2: The tens machine, one I use was specifically for pregnancy,
Speaker 2: has different gauges. It's an electro current thing. You put
Speaker 2: little pads on you. I put them on my back
Speaker 2: and it sends little electric current, so it shocks your
Speaker 2: body and it gives you a different type of sensation
Speaker 2: to focus on the shocking. I can go up to
Speaker 2: like level six or something, and it can be very
Speaker 2: very strong. Like for example, when I had it on
Speaker 2: during some of my contractions, the tens machine hurt more
Speaker 2: than the actual labour signs.
Speaker 3: But I was like, this is so fucking dumb.
Speaker 2: Now I'm just in pain in my back and my urine.
Speaker 2: I'm in and it was so distracting for me. But
Speaker 2: for a lot of people, they really enjoy it. My
Speaker 2: sister used it during her labors and she loved it.
Speaker 2: I tried it during my labor.
Speaker 3: I hated it.
Speaker 2: So everyone's exp RNs of labor is different. Everyone's going
Speaker 2: to respond to a tens machine different. I would just
Speaker 2: say that her expectations are probably what that tens machine
Speaker 2: was going to provide her was not on par with
Speaker 2: what it was able to provide. And if you tested
Speaker 2: it at it was functioning well before you gave it
Speaker 2: to her, she also would have tested it.
Speaker 3: No one is buying a tens machine.
Speaker 2: Online and going in blind and not trying it at
Speaker 2: all and waiting until the day of labor to try it.
Speaker 3: No one's doing that. I would probably do that like
Speaker 3: that is what I would do.
Speaker 2: Then that's on her, especially when she said, oh, I've
Speaker 2: bought things off marketplace before and I've been stung.
Speaker 3: That means she's she's checking that shit.
Speaker 2: So I would just say that maybe her experience or
Speaker 2: her expectations of it didn't match what she thought. But
Speaker 2: she paid a reduced rate for something secondhand, secondhand off marketplace.
Speaker 2: You kind of unfortunately, some of it is you just
Speaker 2: get what you get. I think I bought a tie
Speaker 2: monsterra off marketplace.
Speaker 3: No, what is it? A constant?
Speaker 1: You brought a I don't know if you can compare
Speaker 1: a plant.
Speaker 3: No you can.
Speaker 2: It was a really expensive one. I bought an elbow
Speaker 2: monsterra m M. It's like one of the ones that's
Speaker 2: got white and green in it. I bought it a
Speaker 2: year and a half ago and it's never given me
Speaker 2: a leaf.
Speaker 3: I'm convinced it's plastic. I'm convinced it costs.
Speaker 2: So much money because it's like a rare plant anyway,
Speaker 2: but hasn't grown anywhere.
Speaker 3: Nothing was not well that it's not a lie.
Speaker 2: Identical to the day I picked it up and a half.
Speaker 2: I'll send you a photo four fucking leaves the same thing.
Speaker 2: But are you sure it wasn't when you bought it,
Speaker 2: it wasn't a fake.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure it's not fake. But it's absolutely a
Speaker 3: fucking dwarf.
Speaker 2: I'm not calling up that woman who I spent way
Speaker 2: too much money on a marketplace and being like, your
Speaker 2: plant's not growing.
Speaker 3: I want a refund. I'm not going not going to
Speaker 3: do it. That's on me. You know, I bought a
Speaker 3: ship plan on Marketplace. I don't know. I think I
Speaker 3: think she tested it for sure.
Speaker 1: I think you're right, she definitely tested it. But she
Speaker 1: went in there and she's been like, fuck, this has
Speaker 1: done nothing for my labor. I am being torn from
Speaker 1: my vagina, my anus.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go on.
Speaker 1: I'm this sixty dollars dance machine that I bought second
Speaker 1: here on Facebook.
Speaker 2: Also, Marketplace is one of those you win some you
Speaker 2: lose some situations unfortunately, and I know what kind of
Speaker 2: sucks because like this is surrounding something that's really important.
Speaker 3: To her, her birth.
Speaker 2: You obviously feel probably a little bit more responsible, but
Speaker 2: just unfortunately, sometimes market Place it comes through with the goods.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it comes with a plastic plan.
Speaker 3: You could take the good one the bad.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's get out of here. Please keep your questions
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